Thank you so much for your reviews.
Scorpio11 is like my own personal Thesaurus. She brings the words when I can't get it straight. I owe her a whole bunch of somethin'.
SMeyer owns…I do not.
\\\
28.
BELLA
"Damn, baby, you know exactly what to say," he whispered as he gently thrust into me. I couldn't help the rush I felt every time our bodies joined together. Tonight was no different. The day had been tension filled, but my man, Edward Cullen, knew exactly what I needed…licking chocolate icing off his cock had been incredible. After a quick clean up, we got right back at it.
"Bella, I love you. You feel so fuckin' good," he whispered as he stroked in and pulled out, leaving me nearly breathless.
"Edward, I love you, too, so much," I whispered because what the hell else could I say? I loved the man with everything inside me. (Pun definitely intended.) I moved against him, and he moved against me. We'd learned each other's bodies well enough to know all the places to touch, lick, and nip. It wasn't a surprise when I let go with a gasp of his name, feeling him release inside me at the same time with a quiet, "Fuck, baby." He didn't say a lot during sex, but when he said anything, it was always amazing to me.
He lifted his head from my chest where he'd been licking and nipping at my breasts. His smile was visible in the scant light from the side table. "Bella, move in. I know you've just been stayin' here, but get your shit out of the storage closet and move in. You don't need to look for another place to live because you live in my heart, and hell, my heart lives right here on Bellflower Road. Just transfer your mail and stay, will ya?" he asked. I took a deep breath because I was surprised.
"Edward, you don't want a roommate."
"No, I don't want a roommate. I want my girlfriend whom I love very much to live here in this place with me. Baby, why don't you stay? Please don't make me…," he responded which took my breath away.
"Why do you want…Edward, you can…there's no need for…" I tried many sentences, but I couldn't finish any of them because I wasn't sure what I wanted to say.
"Why do I want ya here? Because, I love you. I can, what, do better? No, I fuckin' can't because you're perfect. There's no need for me to ask you to move in? I'm not askin', Bella, I'm beggin'. I love ya too much to see ya move somewhere else. Are those the endin's of the sentences you started? I've got a million fuckin' arguments. Try again," he ordered forcefully.
"Look, there are things about me you don't know, okay? I don't think it's fair for me to move in and not be up front with you about everything," I told him as he shifted his weight off of me.
He looked contemplative for a minute. "Well, you were a virgin when I met ya, so I know you weren't turnin' tricks. I've never seen ya dealin' drugs, so you're likely not a felon, and as far as I know, you can't hotwire a car. Other than that, I can't imagine one single thing that would make me change my mind."
"I was fat." I just said it, trying hard not to show how hard it was for me to make the statement.
His head snapped up and he smiled. "Babe, you were pregnant."
I took a deep breath and turned on my side because I needed to tell the man the truth. "Honey, that's not what I mean. When I was a kid, I was fat. Until I was a freshman in high school, I was teased a lot because I was fat. Rosalie used to fight my battles because I was picked on as the fat kid in school. That's why I owe her. She didn't like me very much, but she didn't like it when other kids teased me, and she spent a lot of time in trouble because of me. It wasn't until my freshman year of high school that I changed. I owe a lot to Rosalie. If it wasn't for her, I'd be a lonely, fat woman with a house full of cats," I confessed. I was fighting the urge to puke, but he needed the truth.
I saw him close his eyes for a second and then he sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard. I pulled the sheet up over me and waited because I didn't want him assessing all the flaws that accompanied my confession. When he got pissed, I got confused.
"Are ya fucking kidding me? That's what all this business between you and Rosalie…Is this why you…son-of-a-fucking bitch. Do you think…God, obviously you think it matters," he rambled as I waited on pins and needles.
"Honey, full sentences would be helpful."
He got up from the bed and pulled on his boxers, pacing and tugging at his frantic, beautiful hair. "It all makes a whole lot more sense. So that's why you've quit eating and started sneaking off to the gym everyday instead of just the three nights a week we go together?"
I didn't know he knew about my extra visits to the gym because Victoria and James only worked at night so I never saw them when I went in the mornings after Edward went to work. Obviously, someone at the gym was a goddamn snitch. "I'm just trying to get back the muscle-tone I lost while I was pregnant. And I eat. Hell, I just had a bowl of chicken and dumplings with dinner, and I licked chocolate icing off your cock. Oh, call your Mom."
He stopped and stared at me, shaking his head. "I would appreciate it if you didn't use the words 'cock' and 'Mom' in the same sentence. You only ate a small bowl about the size of a coffee cup of chicken and dumplin's…wait, did you call Momma and get the recipe?" he asked.
That had me worried because I followed her recipe to the letter except I made homemade drop biscuits with herbs instead of using the store-bought biscuits Esme suggested. He'd moaned and groaned the whole time, so I thought he liked it.
"I called her today before my test. I just substituted my Grandma Rose's homemade her biscuits for the store-bought biscuit dough she suggested. Did you not like it? I can throw the rest out," I offered, hoping to get him onto another topic of discussion.
"Honey, it was better than…no, no. You're not doin' that again. You're too good at gettin' me off topic. I know you're too damn skinny. Em mentioned it last Saturday night when you made dinner at his place. I said you told me you were the same size now as you were before you got pregnant, but he said no. He said you're a lot smaller now. What gives?" Fucking Emmett and his big mouth. Next time I cook over there, I'm only making vegetables and tofu.
I've been working out more because I'm trying to get my stomach flat again. I eat, but I simply eating an actual portion, not the platefuls Em and Edward could eat. Those two could pack it away, and I couldn't or I'd be right back in the same shape as I was in junior high.
"I'm trying to get in shape. I mean, hell, look at you. You're a gorgeous, well-built man, and every time we go out, women ogle you like you're a pair of Jimmy Choo's at a discount sale," I pointed out.
He started pacing again, but at least he wasn't pulling his hair. "I don't know who or what Jimmy Whozit is, but do you think I give a good goddamn about any other woman starin' at me? Do you not look around when ya go out and see the men gawkin' at ya? Why do you think I don't take my hands off ya? I want every son-of-a-bitch to know you're with me," he yelled. I don't think I've ever seen the man so pissed.
He walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. He reached up and flipped the bedside light brighter and took my hand. "You, my sweet girl, are beautiful. You were beautiful when I met ya in August when you were about four months pregnant; you were beautiful when I held your hand after those babies were born and you were sleeping off the anesthesia; and you are beautiful to me right now. Do ya think a number on the scale makes a damn bit of difference to me? You've seen my mother and my sister. They're not fat, but they're not like those models in magazines. Those are the women I grew up with, Bella. I want you healthy, not stick skinny."
Esme and Tanya were two of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen aside from my sister, and while they weren't waif-like, they were very attractive.
"It's not fair to compare me to your mother or sister. They're both very beautiful, and I'd expect neither of them has ever had to watch her weight. I wasn't so lucky. I can only work with what I have," I reiterated.
He got up from the side of the bed and went to his closet, bringing out a photo album. He walked back to the bed and lay down, turning on the light on his side. "Here," he stated as he handed me the album and flipped it open.
I looked at the photo on the first page, seeing Esme and Carlisle in an official-looking wedding photo. I was quite surprised because well, Esme was plump. Hell, Esme was fat. Not morbidly obese or anything, just a lot bigger than she is now. "That's…that's your mom?" I asked in disbelief. She was still stunningly beautiful, as was Carlisle who looked a lot more like Edward when he was younger.
"Yep. Momma has never been a small woman. When she and Daddy got married, she was heavier than she is now, but my father will still say that's one of his favorite pictures because of the glowing smile on her beautiful face. I was raised by a woman who instilled in me that ya judge people based on what's inside, not what's on the outside. I'm just lucky my true love comes in a gorgeous package, but if ya get any skinnier, I'm gonna crush ya when we make love.
"Sugar, I'm a man who like's something to hang onto and a nice round ass to stare at when ya walk away. When you were given the go-ahead by the doctor and we made love the first time, your body was absolutely perfect to me. Honey, you're still one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my life, but you've let Rosalie and all the bullies in school put somethin' in your head that's just not true. So, do I have to call my momma and tell her ya weigh about a hundred pounds drippin' wet or are ya gonna eat better and not work out every goddamn day?" he threatened.
"How'd you find out I go to the gym every day?" I asked because someone was getting a busted nose.
"I heard that son-of-a-bitch Adam from the front desk talkin' about seein' ya there every day. He thinks you're interested in him and that's why ya go. Is that the case?" Shit. I'd forgotten about that arrogant prick.
I looked at him in disbelief because he had to know I most certainly wasn't interested in Adam. "Edward, you know me better than that. He's an asshole, and I don't even speak to him when I go in. I do a half hour on the treadmill or elliptical, and then I lift if we're not going in that night. You can't possibly believe I'm even remotely interested in him. The guy's a fucking jerk."
"Well, what else am I to think? Look, honey, I want you to be healthy, physically, emotionally, and mentally. You need to talk to Angela about this because it's gotten to the point where you're obsessed. If ya don't talk to her and get a healthy perspective on it, I'll talk to her about it, right before I call your parents."
With that, he went to the box of clothes I had in the corner of his room, walking over to a drawer of his dresser. He pulled it out, dumping his underclothes into a chair in the corner, and after he reinserted it into the dresser, he dumped my box into it. He rifled through the things a bit and pulled out the black nightie he'd bought me for Christmas, tossing it to me. "Put it on," he demanded.
This was a whole new Edward Cullen. He was commanding and decisive, and I'd never been more turned on or pissed off in my whole life. I rose from the bed and pulled on the gown, seeing the top of it was baggy. Hell, the whole thing was baggy. I knew my clothes were looser, but I didn't realize my body had changed quite so much. I looked into the top and saw I was damn near flat chested, which I'd never been in my life. I'd avoided mirrors as much as possible because I only saw the flaws. Maybe he had a point?
"It, uh, it's a little big?" I acquiesced quietly.
"Bella, I want the ass back. I fell in love with you and that ass. I want the ass back."
"Hey, you're the one who just said it was more about the inside than the outside," I tossed back at him.
"Yeah, that's right, but sugar, your ass reminded me of a fine Georgia peach. It kept me from gettin' homesick. I find I'm startin' to get homesick. I want the ass back," he gritted out as he flopped on the bed and turned his back to me.
"So…what? Is this some sort of fetish you have about my ass? And now you're going to ignore me until I gain weight?" I did a little ranting of my own. If he thought he was going to blackmail me like Rosalie, he was fucking crazy. Well, he wasn't exactly blackmailing me like Rosalie. He was using sex, not guilt, as his weapon.
He flipped over and faced me. "No, but if I was to be of the mind to wanna spank ya while we're fuckin', I'm afraid I'd break my hand on the bones. I want my ass back," he snapped. With that, he flipped back over and turned off the light on his side of the bed.
I pulled off the gown so I didn't strangle myself in my sleep if it moved up around my neck since I no longer had boobs to hold it down. I went to what I guessed was my new drawer and pulled out a pair of sleep shorts and a cami, and I headed toward the bathroom to brush my teeth.
As I was closing the door, Edward sat up, flipping the light on again. "By the way, you're officially moved in. Get your shit out of storage, and I'll find somethin' to do with my stuff. Oh, and if ya think you were the only one who was bullied in high school, look through that album. There are pictures in there you won't see hangin' on my Momma's walls. Good night…and I want my ass back," he snapped again. He turned over and that was obviously the end of the discussion.
I didn't know whether I wanted to fuck him or deck him. I had a lot to think about.
##
Things around Chez Cullen were very quiet over the rest of the week. If I heard the fucking phrase, "I want my ass back," one more time, I was going to smother the prick in his sleep. Oh, and that was all we were doing in bed…sleeping. Well, he was sleeping. I was seething.
I'd looked at the album that night because I couldn't fall asleep, and I was quite surprised to see pictures of a very tall, very skinny Edward with long hair, glasses, and a definite nerdly air about him. When I asked him about it the next day, he said, "I was the president of the math club. I wasn't homecomin' king, and I definitely found my scrawny ass shoved in a locker more days than I wanna remember. Fortunately, my father was a psychiatrist, and I learned I couldn't let those people define me. I also learned how to box so I quit gettin' my ass kicked. We all have our scars from childhood. It's what we learn from the experience." Then he left for work. Those were the most words he'd said at one time all week.
I called Angela to grab an extra half-hour of time for my Friday session so I could try to get some perspective. I felt like I had to have something to report back to him before I sprained my fucking wrist getting myself off in the shower.
That was why I was sitting in Angela's office waiting for my appointment, still pissed because Edward had walked out of the restaurant the night before where we were having dinner with Jasper and Alice. I had to take a fucking cab home, and I wasn't happy about it, but unfortunately, I knew he was right.
"Bella, Angela will see you now," the receptionist informed as the door opened for me. I grabbed my journal and walked into her office, seeing her smiling face.
"Hi, Bella. It's good to see you. Have a seat and let's get started. I see you booked an extra half-hour. Is there something on your mind?"
Without a word, I tossed the journal on the table between us and waited for her to read the bitchfest that had been my week. I didn't expect the laughter.
"He doesn't really go around the house saying 'I want my ass back,' does he?" she asked. I didn't appreciate the laughter.
"He does, and he's cut me off…sexually," I informed. She knew from one of my previous sessions Edward and I were having sex, and she actually commended me for not letting my "misperception of my physical-self" play into the fact we took the step. When I thought about her statement, I realized maybe she'd been driving that point home all along. Fuck, why didn't I see it coming?
\\\
He's not perfect at this, but what guy is? I've gotta give the man credit for trying, even if it was in a totally bass-ackward way.
Next up…a little drive to Forks…(taunting intended).
Thank you for reading.
Till next time…xoxo
P.S. If you're reading "Come Home," it will update every other day. I know its heart wrenching, but if you love angst…check it out. SK
