Summary: alternative scene for 4x07, instead of being silent Merlin snaps and gives Arthur a lecture of a lifetime.
Pairings: implied Arthur/Merlin/Gwaine love triangle.
"I do not want to lose another friend."
"Too late, you already have."
"What?"
Merlin was pissed off. Pardon his French but he cannot help but feel like this. First Arthur is a gigantic prat which was sort of all right now because he was used to it but then Arthur keeps having horrible prattish moments like not listening to Merlin and starting a war. Second thing, Arthur decides magic is evil because of Morgana...yeah ok him too...so just because his tyrant of a father who had emotionally damaged both of his children dies has to mean magic is evil? Thirdly, Merlin was still rather cut up over the fact that Lancelot died, after all Lancelot was his closest confidant that was actually his age and didn't judge Merlin based on assumptions or the prejudice that magic was evil. Then of course Arthur and the other knights decided to be a bunch of bullies and starved him a couple times when they went on quests, how would they like it if Merlin decided to let them fed for themselves? They wouldn't last five minutes on their own! Urgh. Then on top of that it is so blatantly obvious that Agravaine is evil, for god sake he wears black, snoops around everywhere, purposely gives the wrong advice, and keeps staring lustfully at Gwen.
So Arthur deciding to believe evil Uncle over Merlin and judge Gaius as a traitor to Camelot when it is blatantly obvious that Gaius was kidnapped (after all if Gaius was going to do a runner he would have taken the kettle first).
So now Merlin has...erm...well snapped.
"I am no longer your friend. I cannot be a friend to someone who is so wilfully, blind fully, ignorantly, stupid! Gaius had raised you, your moron. He changed your nappies, comforted you when you had nightmares, healed your wounds and tended you in your sickness. He was your father's closest friend and loyal advisor. Why on earth would he betray you now?"
"Well-"
"I'm not finished yet, so shut your big gob! Do you remember the many times when Gaius got accused of being a traitor and magic user? And how many times had it turned out he was framed by a witch hunter or completely innocent and your father was just being a paranoid bastard?"
"How dare-"
"Oh I dare! No one liked your father, not Gwen, not me, not the servants, not the nobles, definitely not your uncle, and especially not Morgana, Uther Pendragon's daughter, what the hell does that tell you? That no one wants you to be like Uther Pendragon! Duh! Your uncle is blatantly leading you astray so you can be dethroned. It is classic evil, greedy, ambitious uncle thing to do especially one that has no land or title or wealth. The only thing Gaius wants is a holiday!"
"Maybe that's what he decided to do!" Arthur practically screamed. Pleased that he can now get a word in edgeways.
Merlin just gave him a withering look. "Purr-lease, the day Gaius would actually go on holiday is the day illness no longer exists. Stop being such an idiotic, big-headed, bone-headed, dick-headed prat and just sit there and look pretty half naked. It seems to be the only thing you're good at these days."
"I beg your pardon? I'll have you in the stocks if you continue like this Merlin, I've been very generous letting you vent out all-"
"And now," Merlin said loudly interrupting Arthur once again, "I am going on a quest to save Gaius. In fact I have decided I will make it an epic bromantic adventure with Gwaine and we may even go camping Brokeback Mountain style and come back with not only an innocent Gaius but with a better Bromance than you and I shall ever have. Goodbye Arthur Pendragon!"
Merlin stormed off with his head held up high in pride. God that felt good.
Unfortunately only one thing sunk in.
"Gwaine? What? You can't have an epic Bromance with Gwaine! What about us? Merlin! Merlin! Merlin?"
