two more chapters.
I feel a hand trace my neck, softly, always gently, and the whisper. I know it is real, or, if it isn't, my new life has added a second dimension to my delusions. I wouldn't exactly object to that, but I'd much rather it not be made up.
The hysterical voice of this month's human secretary- Ellen, is it? Elaine? Something like that… it doesn't matter… comes over the intercom. "Isabella? Isabella? Are you there, Isabella? I have the door opened for you. Do you need to come in? Should I close the door?"
It is quite clear that this girl would not last. She is too hysterical, whiny, even. Unlike Gianna, she lacks the unflappable cool when dealing with angry vampires. Well, I suppose it's a fairly rare skill set. But I'm distracting myself from my immediate problem.
Is he real? Can he really be here? I doubt it, somehow. It doesn't seem possible. Strange, how many things have happened in the last twenty-four hours.
An escape attempt, a mysterious encounter with a girl who knows far too much, a fight, a revelation, a chase, a delusion, and now this… so many adventures, when the past twenty-five years of my life have been so empty of any excitement, of anything at all for that matter.
But I don't have time to think about this. I have to do what I have to. I need to know if this is real, or another trick of my subconscious. "Hold the door, Eleanor," I say, getting the name right.
"Yes, Isabella."
I outrank her, even though I'm practically a slave here in Volterra. It doesn't matter- she's a human, and I'm a vampire, and thus in this strange environment, I have the ability and power to kill her easily. And she's a bit of a wimp, unlike my human self. She is always subservient, almost irritatingly…
I take in a deep breath. I'm getting off topic. Summoning every bit of my strength, I turn, slowly, to face my delusion. I can still feel his touch on my shoulder, no longer cold to me, but still the same in some ways- still distinct, I know it's him even without the words, no one else is that gentle, and yet so clearly loving, so passionate but with such control… and all this I can tell from one brush on the neck.
My face spins around, and I see him. I try to hide the surprise. I was right. I didn't think my delusion could be real. His perfect face curves into a smile, his wide eyes growing softer, like burnished gold, and he practically grins at me, all of his attention focused right at me. I shiver at the intensity.
The perfect voice I've missed so much whispers its words again. This repetition is even firmer, even tenser and more controlled than the others. Each word is terse, and yet filled with a love that makes me want to weep- but I don't have tears anymore, of course.
"I've missed you, love," Edward says.
"Are you real?" I ask, inanely. Immediately, I'm embarrassed at it- what a stupid thing to say! This is him, my one true love, and he's here, right in front of me, for the first time in so long.
"Of course I am," he answers. "I'm real, and I'm right here, for you, love."
I notice the similarity to what he said after the first time he left me. I also notice that he's putting an almost abnormal amount of stress on the word 'love'. It's almost scary. And the way his eyes are gleaming- not just with love, but with something else. "Edward, is something wrong?"
He leans toward me, so I can't look away from the intensity of his eyes (not that I could anyway, not that I'd want to.) There is silence for a moment, and I shudder from the ferocity of it. "I really… missed you," he says again, like he isn't sure what he wants to say or how to say it.
"I missed you too."
"Really?"
"Really… but why are you here? It isn't that I don't want you- I do, more than anything else," I quickly add, seeing the pain flare up in his irresistible eyes. "It's just… Alice, Edward. What about Alice?"
"Well. Love. I don't know how to say this…" he ducks his head, as if ashamed. "I can't stand the pain. I thought I could, but I can't take one more second. If… if I can't stay here with you, Bella, I will die. So this is what I'm saying… come with me. Leave this place behind. Forget about everything except each other. Run away, far away, be happy with me… and forget about everything else. It doesn't matter to me, love, not anymore. I've done all the living without you I can stand. I can't take another minute of it. So don't make me. Let me stay with you, forever."
The words pour out like liquid. He's practically begging, and he speaks as quickly as he can. I recognize the emotion in them. He is miserable that he has to do this at all. It makes him feel that terrible guilt, the same one that made him leave me the first two times. And yet he has so much hope riding on it. I can tell he really loves me. I can tell he really wants me.
That doesn't make this easier. "Edward…"
He winces. "What?"
"We can't just run off into the sunset. They will kill Alice and Jasper, and probably the rest of our family too. Doesn't that matter to you?"
I can see him shrink back from the accusation in my voice, the harshness, and yet he closes his perfect eyes in pain and shame. "No. Not anymore, Bella… listen. I am asking you. Do this, do this for me. Come with me, because I love you, and I need you. Please. I'm begging. I'll do anything… for you, my love. Because I can't take one more minute without you by my side."
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