Summary: Rachel's worried about grade eight approaching, and is nervous over her and Santana's friendship after her best friend has been MIA for a while.

Pairing: Rachel/Santana (friendship)


Saturday, August 9th marked the fourth consecutive weekend that Rachel Berry would likely spend alone, and she was at wit's end in trying to understand why. Not that she disliked having extra time to practice her vocals, but it wasn't the same as having her best friend by her side. Her fathers had, for years, went on about how Santana was always attached at the hip with her, but the past month had seen an end to those remarks. Santana suddenly was never home when Rachel came by or called, and was never online on MSN either. The entire summer break so far before eighth grade started up had her thinking the dreaded 'A' word that best described what she'd been expecting for months now.

Eighth grade was practically a test drive for high school, at least when it came to fashion, fitness, friends and relationships, and Rachel knew that she'd likely fail to make the grade. Puberty hadn't blessed her like some of the other girls, and while willowy, she still carried around a fair bit of her baby fat. She also didn't really feel capable of keeping up with fashion trends, especially considering most of fashion was geared toward adults with large amounts of disposable income. Her fathers weren't exactly well off enough to afford her that, and when it came to choosing between her college fund and clothes, the future won out.

So she understood that her popularity would likely continue to plummet, whereas Santana's would very likely rise. The girl was a budding young woman now, and despite her rather rough and tumble aggressive attitudes from the past, Santana had a knack for fashion and was something of a fitness queen, always making time to exercise heavily each day. Combine that with her striking good looks, and her best friend would have boys falling over themselves to date her, while Rachel's nose alone seemed to be enough to deter any suitors.

They had been best friends since kindergarten, and the recent radio silence of sorts was enough for Rachel to believe that their friendship would be ending soon, and that Santana was probably trying to draw it out so that it wasn't such a painful shock to her system. As grumpy and abrasive as Santana could seem to most people, Rachel knew her best friend well enough to have her words and actions down to a science. It was textbook Santana to be blunt and razor-sharp in rejecting people she didn't care about, but silent and sadly distant in rejecting those she did.

Rachel, however, was not about to worry about their friendship over the rest of the summer, getting anxious on the first day of school over whether Santana would give her the time of day, and how her best friend would play it, socially. No, Rachel was going to settle things, because she knew no matter how bad she felt at the moment, Santana probably felt considerably worse, given how relentlessly loyal the girl was. Santana wasn't the type to throw a friend away, and if she had to, Rachel would make sure such a decision wouldn't pass.

So she marched downstairs and out the side door to where her bike was locked up. Rachel momentarily wondered if perhaps she was getting too old to have the gold streamers remain on her handlebars, but she figured it would be a decision for another day. It was one o'clock in the afternoon, and she had a girl to find.

Thankfully, the weather was holding up, with a clear blue sky and pleasantly warm temperatures, making for nice biking weather. Rachel fought a frown at the thought of her and Santana possibly never biking around the reservoir again on their weekends off, or racing down the slightly hilly back roads just outside of town.

Rachel pedaled her way across town, knowing Santana likely wouldn't be home, not on such a nice day. She went past a few of their favourite parks, not spotting the raven-haired girl there or in the yards of their elementary school or future high school either. Which left their old tree.

It was a long trip, thirty or so minutes from either of their homes, to the undeveloped bit of woodland on the outskirts of town. She and Santana had explored the area in fifth grade, and spent a whole weekend and a months' earnings from Rachel's paper route to build a swing on the largest tree in the area. Santana did most of the work in climbing it, securing the ropes, and making the actual swing, but Rachel had kept her company and made sure someone would catch Santana if she fell.

Rachel left her bike by their narrow little walkway, the brush being too thick to bike through, and made the trek deep into the wooded area. It was such a nice area, even if some of the trees were a little dead; there were owls and birds, chipmunks and rabbits, and Santana's favourite squirrels as well adding to the ambiance of their little hideout. It was peaceful, and in their younger days, they'd play tag and bird watch and have water-gun fights by the stream. It had only been the past year that their little sanctum had provided a little less joy and a little more melancholy.

It wasn't a surprise to see Santana, though it was to see her up in the tree instead of on the swing. Her best friend knew she was scared of heights and hated climbing trees, and the thought of Santana taking a preemptive strike by being out of reach only had Rachel's heart feeling like there was a hand squeezing it really, super hard.

Still, she lifted her chin and fought through the hurt, marching over to the tree and looking up at her friend, knowing that they both likely came there to finish it.

"Hello, Santana." She called out as she stopped at the base of the tree, looking up at Santana's feet dangling in the air. It all seemed so terribly unsafe.

"Rach." Santana mumbled despondently, kicking her feet a little bit as the girl watched a squirrel make its way around other branches of the tree.

"Would it be possible for you to come down from the tree so that we could talk?" Rachel asked, wanting to get the meat of the discussions over with, figuring ripping a band-aid off would be better than a slow peel.

"I'm okay up here." The answer from Santana was perhaps typical, but combined with the amount of time it had been since they'd been in contact, the distance hurt. The fact that Santana wouldn't at least look at her hurt almost as much.

Rachel fought off a frustrated foot stomp and made her way to the swing; it was made to fit two people, so sitting alone on it made her feel so much smaller than she already knew she was. It was hard on her heart, and brought a few choice Broadway songs to mind about struggle and heartache.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks, Santana, and you're never around. I miss you, but I can understand if you don't miss me. I can call our friendship off, and you wouldn't have to worry about me bugging you or getting in your way. We can enjoy our history together in secret and go our separate ways." Rachel noted diplomatically, projecting her voice loud enough to ensure Santana could easily hear her up in the treetop.

"What?!" Santana cried out loudly, her surprise certainly legitimate enough, given the girl slipping halfway off the branch in response, one arm keeping her upright and in place enough to scoot her way back to a more secure place on the branch closer to the trunk. "You…what are you talkin' about, Rach?"

Rachel huffed in frustration only after ensuring that Santana was indeed in a safer place up in the tree. "Well, you…you've practically abandoned me, Santana." Rachel choked out, the 'A' word coming out harsh from the effort it took to even voice it. It was honestly how she felt lately, and despite knowing it was important to say out loud, she was sad about knowing it'd probably hurt Santana.

"The heck…" Santana mumbled, before climbing down the tree like a spider monkey, frowning as she went to take a step toward Rachel and the swing before rethinking it and instead anxiously leaning against the tree trunk. "You don't wanna be my friend anymore?"

Santana's words were quiet and hesitant as her best friend clearly fought to keep a straight, emotionless face. Santana had never been all that great at concealing how she felt, and Rachel had in the past preferred the girl just trust her enough to be open with her. Santana had, for years, until that moment, and it was yet another marker of the distance forged between them.

"I said I miss you, Tana. You're my best friend. But I shouldn't have to spend forever missing you." Rachel spoke, kicking her feet back and forth nervously as she sat alone on the swing, just wanting Santana to come share it with her like they used to. Like they should be.

Santana's mouth gaped open a little at the confession, her head bowing as the lanky girl made her way to the swing and nudged Rachel to her usual side, both of them taking their familiar positions.

"You're such a goober, Rachel." Santana mumbled, nudging the diva with her shoulder this time as they both started to swing a bit, getting a tiny bit of momentum going. "And…and I miss you too. It just sucks."

Rachel nodded, feeling very much aligned with Santana in how upsetting the whole social situation was. It just wasn't fair. "If you have to get a new best friend, please try Lucy. I know she's been overhauling her appearance and activities to be popular for when we reach high school, but I think she's still that nice bookworm underneath. Or maybe Brittany, because she's popular, but she's also sweet and funny."

"Why would I ditch you for them?" Santana asked, her left foot wrapping around Rachel's right as they swung on the swing in unison. It had always been their 'thing' out there at the swing, and that bit of familiarity made Rachel feel much lighter, even given the situation.

The question admittedly caught Rachel off guard, because up until that point, she'd thought they were on the same page about what was going on. "Because you're going to want to be popular this year, and I would only drag you down? Why else would you be avoiding me so much this summer?"

"Not because of that! Jeez." Santana muttered, flicking Rachel's bare bicep and causing the diva to recoil a little from the sensation. "What, you think I'll get super popular and listen to a bunch of stupid jerks over you?"

Rachel didn't really know what to say to that, because that had honestly been her assumption aside from the use of derogatory words, so she just nodded.

"What the heck! Rach, you know me…I can't stand people. I mean, sometimes I won't do stuff because of other people and stuff, but I don't want a bunch of stupid new friends. Just because people tell me I'm kinda pretty now doesn't mean I'll listen more to some bitches than you. You're my friend and, like, the only 'peer' I can think of to pressure me, so whatever. I'd rather be on the swings with you than in some corner of the schoolyard gossiping about celebrities, or a bunch of the idiot boys in our grade." Santana rambled angrily, her voice practically a snarl by the end of it. And yes, Rachel knew Santana was famous for her dislike of most people in the world, but she knew that deep down, Santana cared about what people thought of her. She thought her best friend would bow to that, and it wasn't a completely unreasonable prediction, especially since Santana readily admitted it in her rant to some degree.

Still, it was a massive relief to hear that Santana was still her best friend. Sure, things could change on the first day back, still, but the odds were much better now at things remaining the same. "I'm sorry for doubting you, I just…I was worried, because you've avoided me for a long time and it made me sad, so I just wanted to get it over with if you weren't going to be my friend anymore. But if you're still my best friend, then…then why don't I ever see you? You don't even come over for Saturday morning cartoons or the Law and Order marathons anymore."

Santana was quiet for a moment, sniffing and leaning ever so slightly into Rachel. "People suck." Santana noted quietly, a long silence following those two simple words. Yes, Rachel understood that Santana had a general distaste for most living things, especially human beings, and that was hardly a new revelation. "Everyone's been hasslin' me like crazy, okay? And I don't like it."

That was much more relevant and new information, in Rachel's mind, and she couldn't help but get defensive over her best friend being potentially bullied. "What about?"

"Boys." Santana answered quickly with a fierce eye-roll, which probably meant that the girl's rather intense family was pushing the topic far more than Rachel's dads were for her.

"Well, I suppose it's to be expected. We ARE going into grade eight, and most boys and girls have been in a relationship by this point. My dad keeps telling me about the stigma of spinsters and cat ladies, and while I appreciate his dramatics, I also understand he just means well, and wants me to improve socially through relationships. Your family probably wants you to as well, Tana." Rachel explained calmly and slowly, building her argument on the fly, because she honestly hadn't placed a terrible amount of thought into that topic as of late, what with her most valuable personal relationship having thought to be in shambles.

"Well it's garbage! Every dinner, every time abuela comes over, whenever I get back from school, they're always talking about that junk." Santana spat, a deep scowl on her face as their swing started gaining elevation from the girl's movements and anger. "I don't want a boyfriend."

Rachel could understand the dilemma. Santana's disregard for a rather normal social practice and rite of passage for the average girl would likely get more and more attention and focus as time went on, earning more anger from Santana. It seemed like one of those 'vicious cycles' her father would talk about. She took a few moments to consider the situation and possible solutions, with a decent one coming to mind fairly quickly.

"Well, from my broad knowledge of most things media, I understand that family often brings these points up both to gain moments of nostalgia by seeing you with a boy in a way that resembled them when they were younger, but also because it's a way to reinforce the idea that they want grandchildren. You're hardly an appropriate age for kids, and they have no right to live vicariously through you, so perhaps you can tell them that you'll consider dating boys when it's an age-appropriate situation, such as in high school? It would at least buy you a year." Rachel spoke, hoping that her reasoning was sound enough for Santana to digest and accept, because she really did feel it was a good plan.

"But what…" Santana started, before clamping her mouth shut and ducking her head away from Rachel, earning immediate concern from the diva. Enough for Rachel to wrap an arm around her best friend and pull her closer.

Usually that would do the trick in getting Santana to spill her thoughts, but Santana just sat there as the swing slowly came to a halt. "What's wrong, Tana?"

"I think I am. What…what if something's wrong with me?" Her best friend choked out, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. It wasn't a rare event that Santana cried, but it rarely happened without some legitimate issue, however twisted and contorted in her best friend's mind. Santana DID have the tendency to over-think, and Rachel knew the girl had something of a 'sensitive soul', as her daddy called it.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Santana. Who said so?" Rachel asked, hoping to goad her best friend into explaining, because she really wasn't up for another few weeks of silence from the girl about what was troubling her. It was bad enough that she hadn't been there to help those past weeks. Rachel needed to ensure Santana was okay as soon as possible.

Santana's head slid from Rachel's shoulder to the crook of her neck as the girl clutched her Powerpuff Girls t-shirt. "I don't…I don't think I ever want a boyfriend."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Rachel said immediately, tightening her grasp on Santana, knowing the girl needed a good hug at the moment, especially with how her best friend was clutching onto her. "Your parents may, however, believe it's a passing phase, because the average girl does eventually warm up to the idea of dating boys, to put it mildly."

At that, Santana buried her face even harder against Rachel, her words coming out muffled, but the message was remarkably clear. "I don't want them to hate me…"

Santana had never been the most eloquent or detailed when vulnerable, and Rachel didn't expect that to change any time soon, but it didn't hurt her ability to have a good idea of what Santana was saying. After all, her dads weren't interested in girls, and daddy's friend Alice in Columbus wasn't interested in dating guys. And that was okay, but Santana's catholic household held certain standards, and if Rachel was correct about her best friend's struggle, it wasn't likely to get any easier. Especially with Santana's abuela, most likely, no matter how much her best friend adored the woman.

"They won't, Tana. Your mami and papi are friends with my dads, right?" She asked, drawing a slow, hesitant nod against her neck. "They might not…understand right away…or expect it…but they love you. I hear them say it all the time. And I'll always be your best friend. You don't need boys."

Santana nodded again and slowly separated from Rachel, wiping her face off with her own t-shirt before leaning back against the diva again. "You're not gonna leave me for a boy and forget about me, right?" Santana asked softly, her eyes averted once more, though Rachel found the girl's leg curling around hers once more.

"Never." Rachel answered with a smile, because no boy could tear her away from her Tana. Boys could be nice, but they couldn't really beat out her best friend.

"Good." Santana said, turning her head to face Rachel and give her the girl's trademark happy grin. "Now enough with the sappy stuff. Can we go back to your place and play Super Monkey Ball?"

Rachel couldn't help but laugh at how enthusiastic her best friend would get over the puzzle game, and just nodded, happy to know they were okay, and that they both knew they had each other, through thick and thin. As she biked back home with Santana on the front pegs of her bike, goading her to pedal faster, she couldn't help but wonder if that warm feeling in her chest was a good enough indicator that in the future, she could potentially be okay adding the conditions of in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and all those other vows. Planning and being aware of future options WAS important.

Either way, she was happy where she was, being together with Santana as grade eight loomed over them. She was sure the coming years would change them, but now had faith that they were strong enough to get through it all intact and by each other's sides.


A/N: So I was thinking to myself "What would it be like if Santana had been friends with Rachel as a kid? What issues could come up over the years?" And so, this fic came to exist, among a few other unfinished ones. Was going through an angst kick when writing this so…yeah. I'll be sure to post some fluff next time around :P