........Hi?.....
Yeah-I-know-I-totally-suck-dont-I?
Dont-ask-about-the-dashes,-the-space-bar-is-broken...-any-of-you-laugh-and-I-will-kill-you-:p
So,-I'm-having-a-problem...-I-just-dont-feel-like-writing.
I-have-so-many-ideas-andlove-the-ideas-but-when-it-comes-to-sitting-down-and-actually-writting-it-i-read-the-chapter-and-then-delete-it-all-because-it-doesnt-seem-good-enough.
So-yeah...
But-here's-an-update!-Im-eternally-sorrrryyy!!
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The days passed and soon it was Friday. Roxas hadn't changed at all since his ordeal the other night and they were both grateful for that. Axel had been worried that it might affect him in some way and so had Roxas; but Roxas trusted Axel's words and knew that Xeon would never try and touch him when Axel was around... and Axel was always around.
Roxas sat in the gym, working out with Jax when Axel came in. Roxas looked at Axel and smiled.
"Hey." He stated as he continued his workout with Jax. Axel smiled and stood in the doorway leaning against the frame.
"Hey, are you going to start getting ready? It's four o clock." Axel stated and Roxas nodded and smiled.
"Yeah sure, I'll just cool down and I'll make a start." He said and Axel nodded and smiled, winking at him as he walked away. Roxas smiled. He and Axel were so close it was unreal and they drove each other crazy. Jax smiled at Roxas and Roxas blushed a little. Even Jax could sense the tension between them it was that obvious. He jumped off the machine and started his cool down with Jax and then started to get ready. He showered and got himself dressed in the clothes Axel had lain out for him and did his hair. Axel had told him that he liked it when he spiked his hair, it looked good apparently. He then headed downstairs.
Axel smiled and took Roxas' hand, pulling him onto his lap and kissing him while they waited to Demy and Ana to turn up.
"I'm not looking forward to this Axel." Roxas told him and Axel smiled and stroked his face.
"I know blondie. But I haven't really spent some time with Demy in a while and I can't really invite him without his companion. It's only dinner." Roxas nodded.
"I know but, Ana and me, we just don't get on, y'no?" Axel smiled and kissed Roxas' nose softly.
"I did notice. Don't worry about her, she's fucking trouble anyway. Demy was telling me how he wished he had gotten to you before I had the other day. He's really taken a shine to you." Roxas frowned a little.
"And you're OK with that?" Axel nodded his head.
"Sure. If Demy likes someone, it's a good thing; he's usually a good judge of character... I just don't know what happened with Ana, all of his other companion's were really good." Roxas nodded and the doorbell rang. Roxas jumped off Axel and the maid came rushing out and opened the door.
"Master Demyx, Mistress Anastasia." She stated, bowing her head and Demy embraced Axel and gave Roxas a firm hug.
"How you doing kid?" he asked and Roxas nodded, smiling at him.
"Good." Demyx smiled and winked.
"Being good to Axel I hope?" he laughed and Roxas turned his attention to Ana. Her eye wasn't as swollen and the bruising had gone down quite well. The scab had disappeared off her lip but she still looked her usual spiteful and unpleasant self. Roxas thought she should just grow up.
She stared at Roxas and smiled that sly smile, as if she had something over him and he turned his attention back to Axel and Demy. They were engaged in conversation about some gig that Demy was doing and how he was inviting everyone but had left the best seats for them; (assuming they'd go).
They headed into the dining room and took their places. Axel sat at the top of the table, Roxas to one side and Demy to the other and Ana sat beside Demy. Demy talked to everyone and broke the ice a little and then the food was served.
Ana continued to watch Roxas and Roxas just stared back for a while. It didn't take long, however, for Ana to start conversation with Roxas.
"So Roxas how did you find the club?" she asked, as she popped a forkful of food into her mouth. Roxas tilted his head to the side and shrugged.
"It was good; I had a lot of fun." Ana smiled a little and nodded.
"Yeah well I think that was to be expected with the way you danced with Demyx, don't you?" Roxas smiled then and Axel watched Roxas with a small smile on his face. He sat back and enjoyed the show as Demy flushed a little.
Roxas nodded his head.
"Yeah well I wasn't the only one who enjoyed it." he winked at Demyx which only deepened his blush and Axel smiled and shook his head a little. Damn this kid is good. To make Dem blush is an achievement in itself, it takes a lot to make him go weak at the knees.
"Why do you have a problem with it?" Roxas asked, turning his attention back to Ana. She eyed him curiously for a moment and then smiled.
"None at all, I mean you'll be out of my life by the 31st of January wont you? Or did you forget about our little bet?" Roxas shook his head as he chewed his food.
"How could I? I mean I'm already planning what to do with the money I'm going to win." Demy smiled and continued to eat. Ana nodded.
"Well if I were you I'd maybe pay for some therapy." Roxas frowned a little and Axel felt the tension building up. What is she on about?
"And why would I need therapy Ana?" Roxas asked, completely oblivious to what she was implying. She shook her head and smiled knowingly.
"Just thought maybe after the incident at the club you might need some, that's all." She took another mouthful of food and Roxas glared at her.
"I think you underestimate me, I'm used to dealing with psychopaths. I mean, I tolerate you don't I?" Ana clearly took offence. Her face turned into a twisted snarl and her eyes were cruel.
"And you think you know me? Don't even pretend to know me Roxas!" she hissed and Roxas shrugged.
"I never once said I did know you... I don't care to know you; you're of no importance to me at all." He told her back and Axel and Demy glanced at each other, wondering how it had all gotten out of hand so quickly and wondering whether to step in or not.
Silence fell as the main meal was brought out but after a few bites, Ana piped up again.
"I seriously don't know how Axel has put up with you for so long, I would have had you out on the streets by now for being so disrespectful." She told him and Roxas laughed.
"I'm disrespectful. That's funny coming from you! I wouldn't have even looked twice at you so don't worry about it." he told her and Demy bit his lip, clearly becoming unsettled with the situation. Ana shook her head.
"Well I've been out of the market for over a year so it must be that I'm more liked than you are." She hissed and Roxas rolled his eyes.
"Yeah well that's the benefit of having breasts I suppose." He stated and Demy chocked on his food and sipped his water. Ana held Roxas' stare and Axel's eyes flittered between Roxas and Ana. Ana smiled slyly.
"At least I'm proud of them and get attention because of them, I'm like a flower and you're a weed..."
"People can't help but pay attention to them when they're on show twenty four seven." Roxas interrupted and Axel smiled then and licked his canines. Man this kid has guts.
"Are you calling me a whore?" Roxas frowned. Where did she get that idea from? He genuinely didn't mean it like that. He went to open his mouth to talk but Ana interrupted immediately. Axel and Demy were also frowning at Ana's comment. They could both see the confusion in Roxas' face and both knew Roxas hadn't even implied that to Ana.
"Because if you are then that is fucking ironic! At least I get paid for my services and I don't have it forced on me!" Roxas stared at her then and Demy glared at her.
"Ana." He told her and she shook her head.
"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Roxas snapped back, realising that she knew something that she wasn't meant to know.
"Ana..." Demy told her again and Axel watched on, his smile gone as he realised the same thing that Roxas had. He put his hand to his mouth and chewed on his finger nervously. She shook her head, smiling and Roxas grew impatient.
"No go on, let's hear what you have to say, you obviously have something on your mind so lets just hear it already!" he shouted as he stood up.
"I just want to know if it was fun Roxas. Giving hand jobs and blow jobs from such a young age I mean you must be an expert at it now right? Hell maybe you could give me a few tips..."
"Don't even pretend to know me Ana; I swear to god it will be the biggest mistake of your life so don't even..."
"And then getting battered and beaten and even getting knifed. I mean I bet they were really pissed off when they couldn't shove it in you for six weeks while you healed..."
She didn't have time to finish.
Roxas leaned over the table and grabbed Ana by her hair and pulled her across the table to him. She screamed and thrashed to get away but Roxas was stronger than she was and he pulled her across the table, ignoring all the falling silver cutlery and food. He pulled her and punched her in the face. She fell to the floor and he heard the others calling out.
"Fuck!" Demy shouted as he stood up and made his way to Ana and Roxas.
"Roxas, no!" Axel shouted as he did the same but Roxas wasn't listening. He went to grab Ana again but felt two strong arms around him and pulled him away from her. Axel stood behind him, pulling him back while Demy moved to Ana.
"You fucking bitch! You fucking stupid dirty little bitch! Let me the fuck go Axel! Axel!!!" Roxas was kicking and screaming and trying to get Axel off him. He thrashed around this way and that to get Axel away from him so he could get to the girl who was on the floor, but Axel held him in a vice like grip and refused to let go.
"Roxas, calm down!" Axel told him, his voice firm and harsh like but Roxas didn't care. He was fuming. His body was burning and he wanted to get to her. He had never exploded like this before and he had a lot of steam to let off.
"You fucking cunt!" he hissed and Demy turned to Roxas. He had never seen him so angry before in all the time he had known him. He had never even heard Roxas swear before! Ana was bleeding and she pushed herself up and turned to look at Roxas, holding her face. As soon as her eyes met Roxas' he somehow got free from Axel and seized her again, pulling at her hair and he pounded the side of her head. Axel grabbed Roxas again and pulled him off, squeezing him roughly and shaking him a little.
"Roxas stop! Now!" he bellowed and Ana held the side of her head. Roxas was panting, he was hungry for her and he wanted to hurt her so badly.
"You bastard you cut me!" Ana exclaimed and Roxas smiled evilly, his eyes still searing and his body still heaving from his uncontrollable breaths.
"You should be lucky you got off so lightly. If these two weren't here, you'd be dead by now." Roxas hissed threateningly and Demy looked at Axel, still in complete shock. Fuck when did everything get so out of hand? Did I blink and miss it? Axel sighed and when Roxas tried to jerk forward he held him tightly.
"Don't make me tell you again." he told him firmly and Ana smiled smugly.
"Do as your Master says little blonde bitch." She told him and this just made him try and go for her again.
"You fucking cunt, come over here and say that you fucking bitch!" he shouted and Ana laughed a little.
"Ana!!" Demy shouted a thunderous scowl across his face. Ana glanced at him, her smile gone.
"I think you've caused enough trouble for tonight button it, now." he told her and he stood up. Ana staggered to her feet and Demy ordered her to wait outside for him. He looked at Roxas. His face was angry but his eyes were glazy as though he were about to cry. He moved closer and bent down to his level.
"Listen kid... I'm sorry." He told him and Roxas just shook his head, still glaring. Demy stood up and looked at Axel.
"I'll call you OK?" he told him and Axel nodded and Demy left. When Axel heard the door close he felt Roxas struggle to be released and he let him go. Roxas walked forwards, rubbing his face and pulling his hair.
"I've never seen you act that way before." Axel told him and Roxas just shook his head.
"You told her." he stated and Axel closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head.
"No."
"Liar!!" Roxas turned to face Axel, his face angered again. Axel shook his head.
"I don't know how she found out... I told Demyx about it one night..."
"So he told her... god! Axel I thought I could trust you!" Axel looked at Roxas. He felt terrible, the kid had had it rough enough as it was and he didn't need shit like that happening.
"You can trust me Roxie." He replied, trying to take a hold of the boy. Roxas pushed him away.
"No don't Roxie me OK? I obviously can't if everything I tell you goes straight back to him! It hurts Axel! It hurts so much and the last thing I need, is my past being dug up and thrown back in my face!" Axel got annoyed.
"Well look how the fuck was I meant to know she'd find out?" he asked spreading his arms and Roxas shook his head, the tears now running down his cheeks.
"If you were to just keep your mouth shut in the first place you wouldn't need to worry about it!" Roxas snapped back and Axel frowned at the way the blonde was talking to him.
"Demyx is a fucking doctor Roxas! He can tell me if you need anything and the best way to be around you and..."
"I just want you to be you! I don't want you walking on damn eggshells around me, worrying that I'm gonna break! I'm not breakable Axel!! I was fucked around with for years, what do you think you can do to possibly make me any more fucked up than what I already am?!" he hit the side of his head and then grabbed at his hair in exasperation.
"I just want what's best for you Roxas. It's that simple." Axel stated calmly. Roxas turned and faced him and nodded.
"Yeah, and did erm, you find this out from talking to Doctor Demyx, or from spending time with me?" Axel sighed. He knew that the kid was right and he didn't want to admit it to him.
"No one, in this world, knows me better than you do Axel. You know it because I've told you everything you ever wanted to know, me personally... I told you the shit I went through and my feelings and everything! And if you need a second opinion on that then you clearly just wasn't listening hard enough." Roxas stated and he turned and went to walk out of the dining room.
"You watch your mouth Roxas! Don't think that I'll let you get away with talking to me like that." Axel warned, his eyes angered and his voice trembling slightly. Roxas turned back around and spread his arms, becoming hysterical again.
"Well then fucking do something about it! Stop talking about it and do it already! I tell you what, I'll make it easy on you!" and with that he turned and ran out.
He heard Axel calling him but didn't bother to listen. He ran upstairs to his bedroom and then into his bathroom. He sat on the edge of the bath and picked up his razor and then pulled down his trousers. He looked at that scar on his leg and sobbed. He put the jagged metal to the scar and sliced down it, reopening it back up and watching the blood ooze out. He cried hard and held the razor blade in his hand, putting one hand to his head in frustration and squeezing his fist tight, making the metal slice into the palm of his hand.
Axel opened the bathroom door and his jaw dropped as he saw all the blood seeping onto the bathroom floor and making a big puddle around Roxas. He grabbed Roxas' wrist and shook it and Roxas dropped the bloodstained blade to the floor, still crying.
Axel grabbed the toilet roll and pushed a wad into Roxas' palm and then took a white towel.
"What the hell are you playing at Roxas?!" he shouted, clearly concerned for the blondes health and mentality.
"Reopening the wounds." Roxas replied through sobs. Axel pushed the towel to his thigh and looked at him, he stroked his face softly.
"It doesn't hurt as much... and I just want it all to stop." He sobbed and Axel wrapped an arm around him and hugged him, still holding the towel to his thigh. Roxas cried on Axel's shoulder as Axel tried to console him.
"I just want the hurting to stop Axel." He whispered and Axel closed his eyes, trying to fight back his own tears. He held him and let him cry for a while, letting him let it all out and then he kissed his head. Roxas eventually calmed down and he looked at Axel and stroked his face.
"I'm so sorry I snapped at you." He whispered and Axel smiled sadly and shook his head.
"Don't worry about that blondie; I still love you all the same." Roxas looked at Axel, a confused look on his face. He let Axel wipe away more of his tears and gave a faint smile.
"Wait here, I'm going to get the nurse OK?" he asked him and he nodded, holding the towel onto his thigh. It was hurting him really badly and he felt almost certain that he had gone just as deep as the knife had months ago. The nurse returned with her box of tricks and knelt by Roxas' side. She took his hand and bandaged it up and then slowly moved the towel away.
The gash in Roxas' leg was deep and angry and she grimaced at the sight.
"Oh you poor thing... Sir, I think he may have to go to hospital to have stitches..." she told Axel, looking up at him as she fumbled through her box. Axel nodded his head and the nurse removed the towel, making the cold air hit the wound and hurting Roxas. He winced and whimpered slightly and she smiled gently.
"I will bandage it up for tonight as best as I can but tomorrow he will need to go to the hospital." She told Axel and he nodded. She bandaged up Roxas' thigh as best as she could and then left. Roxas looked up at Axel, his expression was sad and soft.
"I'm sorry Axel." He whispered and Axel moved closer and cupped the boy's face.
"It's OK blondie, just make sure you don't do anything like this again... you're only allowed one mistake." He told him and Roxas nodded and leaned up and kissed Axel softly. Axel heard the phone ring and he left to answer it on the hallway. Roxas struggled to follow him, he could hardly move his leg and it was killing him, but he managed to limp over to Axel and leant against the wall.
"Hello? Ah, Dem, hey. Yeah how are things there? Yeah how's Ana? She what? Really... Woah... OK... hmm... Er, complicated, yeah... He's... upset. Yeah sure here." and with that he held the phone out to Roxas.
"Demy wants to talk to you." He told him and Roxas took the phone.
"Demy? Yeah I'm OK, how's Ana? She got a what? Oh... Demy, I'm sorry... and tell Ana I'm sorry too." Axel clicked his fingers at Roxas, frowning at him and shaking his head. Roxas bit his lip and mouthed 'sorry' and Axel rolled his eyes. He didn't like the fact that the kid wanted to apologise to Ana, not after everything she had caused here tonight. Eventually Demy got off the phone.
"Ana's got a really bad headache and a broken nose because of me." Roxas told Axel. Axel nodded.
"Yeah I know... she deserved it though, so don't you dare apologise, she is no higher than you so you never have to apologise to her. Got it memorised?" he asked with a wink and Roxas nodded and smiled.
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This chapter was great to write. I got so emotional and I find that I do that a LOT… like if I'm reading or writing and trying to picture what kinda facial expression the person has and what they're doing… I do it!! my friends are there saying 'why are you smiling? Why do you look like your about to cry?' LOL!
Anyway loves and stuff!
