Chapter 29 – "You Can Unload all You Want, Mate"
The day after the full moon Regulus went up to the hospital wing to visit Remus, as soon as his lessons were over. Madam Pomfrey stopped him at the door. "What can I do for you, Mr. Black?"
"I'm here to visit Remus."
Madam Pomfrey looked at him a little surprised and then crossed her arms. "He doesn't take visitors."
"He will see me. I know about his illness."
Madam Pomfrey's eyes widened and then she sighed. "I thought Remus was more careful and not telling everyone about his condition," she said but stepped aside. "Go ahead, then."
"I guessed it. And we have become rather good friends so I'm not going to blow his secret," said Regulus as he walked in and headed to the corner hidden by curtains where he had last seen Remus.
Remus was lying with his eyes closed but opened them when Regulus slipped in and said "Hey." Remus sent him a tired smile and reached for his hand. "Hey there..."
He looked awfully pale and had a few cuts and bruises on his face and arms but he looked happy to see Regulus. Regulus took his hand and sat down on the chair next to the bed. "You don't look good."
"I've looked worse," smiled Remus and gave Regulus' hand a squeeze. "But I feel much better now that you're here." He closed his eyes tight for a moment and drew in a sharp breath.
"Is it very bad?" asked Regulus, concerned. "Doesn't Madam Pomfrey give you pain potions?"
"She does, but sometimes there's a sharp pain here and there," Remus said and opened his eyes again. "Thank you for coming to see me. It really means a lot."
"Of course." Regulus dug into his pocket and fished out a giant bar of Honeydukes finest hazelnut chocolate. "I sent Lyra to Hogsmeade. She was happy to get it for you."
Remus smiled and took the chocolate. "My favourite. Thank you. This will definitely help me recover." He started unwrapping the bar. "Care to share it with me?"
"Just a bite. It's yours, and you can certainly use some extra calories."
"Are you saying I'm too skinny?" smiled Remus.
"Yes, you're too skinny. My personal theory is that Pettigrew eats most of your food and you put up with it because you're so overly nice."
Remus chuckled and caressed Regulus' hand. "I've missed you. We haven't had much alone time lately because of all the detention so it's nice to be alone with you for once."
"Yes, I know," said Regulus, getting irritated just by thinking about the situation. He was still mad at his brother. And Potter for not stopping him. He was properly the only one who could have done it.
"You said your parents paid a lot of money in the attempt to find a treatment for your condition - did they really find nothing at all?" he asked, changing the subject.
"Sadly not. They have used every knut they had, and more, for nothing." Remus sighed. "They're still working hard, both to pay off debt and for whenever some quack invents a new remedy that's supposed to help."
"Are they really that stupid to fall for such stunts so many times?" asked Regulus.
Remus sighed. "They know they're getting ripped off, but like they say – you can never know for sure, and if there's just 0,001 percent chance that it actually might work, then it's worth a try. I've told them many times that I wish they would stop, but they refuse to give up. My father blames himself for my condition. You now, because the werewolf that bit me had a grudge against him for wanting harsher restrictions."
"Well... Sometimes you change your mind when you see another side to something. Before I knew what you were, it would not have bothered me the least bit if the restrictions against werewolves were sharpened. I never really thought of them as human, you know? I suppose it's the same with your father."
o0o0o
A month passed and Remus and Regulus grew even closer. Sirius and Regulus was finally on speaking terms again but they did not speak of the incident yet. It was better just to leave it at that. Even though he hated to be dependent on others, Regulus took care to never walk deserted hallways alone. He did not want to risk running into the Slytherins again on his own, giving them the opportunity to corner him again. There was no telling what they might do if they got the chance. Barty would send him looks of hatred whenever they had classes together but he never said anything directly to him. Instead he spoke loudly with his friends whenever the Marauders and Regulus passed, almost sending Sirius over the edge again.
"Their parents must be so ashamed," commented Rosier, shaking his head like an old man who can hardly believe what the world has come to. "Both their sons, blood traitors."
Sirius growled like a disgruntled dog and turned his head to glare at them.
"Just keep walking," Remus warned and pushed him ahead.
"It will probably be the end of the Ancient House of Black," said Barty. "They will probably marry Mudbloods."
"Don't you insult my family," said Regulus. "I will not marry a Muggleborn!"
"Listen to little Black," said Avery. "He won't even call Mudbloods by their rightful name any longer."
"Why don't you shove it up your bum," growled Sirius and tried to get past Remus who had quickly blocked his way. "You don't know shite about our family!"
"All of you, stop it!" said James, adopting his Head Boy voice. "Or I will have to start deducting points." He steered Sirius forward in the direction they had been going. "And you lot better clean up that language," he said, looking back at the Slytherins. "Next one who says the M-word loses 10 points."
The Slytherins just smirked and went on their way.
"I could have taken them on," grumbled Sirius.
"Good thing Potter can use his brain when you can't," commented Regulus.
o0o0o
The first of December saw the last Hogsmeade visit of the year. James was ecstatic - Lily had finally agreed to give him a chance and go with him on a date. By the time the day came, the others were about ready to strangle him, having heard him going on and on about it for a week, ever since she said yes.
"It's going to be good for you to get this out of your system," said Sirius and slapped James on his back while they got ready to go out. It was a snowy day so they had to dress warm.
James darted down the stairs when he saw Lily and waved to the others as he left with her.
"Guess it's just the four of us," said Sirius.
Regulus wished Peter had a date as well so he didn't have to be around him, but he knew there wasn't much chance of that happening, especially because Peter never had the courage to ask anyone.
They all went out into the cold white weather and Remus wished he could put an arm around Regulus so they could keep each other warm as they walked to Hogsmeade, but there were too many students around.
"Any plans?" asked Sirius as they neared to the small village. "I'm going to Honeydukes for sweets for sure. My storage is running low. Wormtail dug into it last week," he teased and elbowed the plump boy.
"It shows," mumbled Regulus.
Peter shot a glare at Regulus but didn't say anything.
They walked around for a half hour when suddenly Remus left them, saying he was going to go get something. He came back ten minutes later with a smile on his lips and dragged Regulus to the side of a small house.
"I bought this for you," he said and showed him a beautiful red rose.
Regulus looked at the rose for a long moment and then up at Remus, his eyes ablaze. "A flower? A FLOWER? You know to whom you give flowers? GIRLS! Is that what you think of me? I'm the girl in the relationship?"
"What?" asked Remus, taken aback. "I… I just thought of it as a nice gesture, that's all. I didn't mean to insult you."
"Well, you did!" yelled Regulus and slammed the flower against the wall several times, so the petals and leaves smashed and fell off. Then he thrust the banged up stem into Remus' hand. "There!" he said and marched off.
Remus looked after him, feeling a little hurt but also kicking himself mentally. He really should know better by now.
"And you're supposed to be the one who uses his brain before he acts," said Sirius and shook his head as they headed for the Three Broomsticks to warm up on some hot butterbeer. Regulus was walking a little ahead of the other three, still offended.
"He's just mental," said Peter. "Mental like that bloody cat of his. Don't pay attention to him, Moony."
Peter had obviously counted on Regulus being out of earshot, because after the day they played football, he had not dared offend him to his face. But Regulus heard him and spun around, marching back to him. "Shut the fuck up, Pettigrew! Don't you dare talk about my cat that way!"
Peter looked a little taken aback and cowered for a moment under Regulus' burning glare, but then straightened himself. "Well it's true! You're bloody mental and so is your cat!"
"That's enough Peter," said Remus, feeling he had to defend his boyfriend.
Peter looked over at Remus in disbelief. "He just insulted your gift and you still defend him?"
Remus rubbed his arms and then nodded. "Yes."
"But he's mental! He should get his own bloody friends instead of hanging around us all the time!"
Sirius crossed his arms. "You're the only one who has a problem with Reggie hanging with us, Peter, so just lay off and don't call my brother mental!"
Regulus looked from Peter to Sirius to Remus. It felt good how they had both just stood up for him. He almost forgot why he had been mad at Remus.
Peter didn't say anything else. In fact he barely said anything for the rest of the trip; he just trailed behind, looking extremely sullen.
Remus pulled Regulus aside when they came back to the school and looked around to make sure no one was within earshot. "I'm sorry I insulted you. I really didn't mean to. I just wanted to give you something nice, but I see how you could misunderstand it."
Regulus sighed. "I know you meant well. But you know how I feel about... well, you know. Let's just forget about it, shall we?"
Remus nodded and smiled. "Yes, let's do that."
o0o0o
Instead of following the others to Gryffindor Tower, Peter headed for the dungeons. He didn't know precisely where the Slytherin house was, but there were students walking by coming home for Hogsmeade, so he just waited for one of the boys he knew had been on Regulus' back. After ten minutes he spotted Avery, Nott, and Mulciber.
"What the hell?" said Avery as Peter walked up to them, looking very nervous. "If it isn't Potter's fat little lapdog. Do you want a good working over?"
"No," said Peter in slightly shaky voice and looked around. "I just... well…" He scratched his neck, considering abandoning his plan. But Regulus had wormed his way into the group and now both Remus and Sirius had sided with him. It would only be a matter of time before James did it too. "I have something to tell you about Regulus Black," he then said, straightening his back, trying to look confident.
"Oh, really?" asked Nott, suddenly looking interested. "What kind of thing?"
Peter looked around again and drew in a quick breath. "He's in a secret relationship with Remus Lupin," he said and actually felt a little guilty for getting Remus in trouble. This would affect him too. But then again, Remus had shut Peter more and more out since he started dating Regulus. It was time for a wakeup call.
They all stared at him.
"What? Lupin?"
"You mean he's gay?"
Peter nodded. "Yes, he is. They've been together for almost a year."
Nott started laughing. "So little Mr. Stuck-up is a faggot? I bet his family won't be pleased to learn that!"
"Merlin, what a shame for the Black family," said Avery. "Gryffindor, blood traitor and queer. Bloody hell!"
They all laughed. Then suddenly Mulciber became serious. "Hey, why the hell are you telling us this? You're supposed to be their close-knit friend. Is this a trick?"
"It's not a trick," gulped Peter. "I'm just sick and tired of him squeezing his way into our little group, and I want him out. He's ruining everything. Taking away my friends and making them shut me out just because he's Remus' boyfriend and Sirius' brother."
Avery laughed. "Is that so? Well, we aren't complaining. You can unload all you want, mate."
Something suddenly struck Peter. If the others found out, Sirius or Regulus would kill him. Probably both. And he would be shunned the group for sure. "Um... You can't tell them this came from me."
"Well, that's up to us, isn't it?" grinned Nott. "We don't take orders from Gryffindors."
"Wait," said Mulciber. "Actually it might not be a bad idea keeping it to ourselves. I suggest that we don't tell anyone here."
"What?" said the others, staring at him in disbelief.
"Oh, we will tell somebody, but not here. We will send word to his parents. Give him a nasty holiday surprise."
"Bloody brilliant!" grinned Nott. "Oh, I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he comes home."
Peter tried to laugh along but was already having doubts about whether he had done something stupid. "Well, I'm just going to go back to Gryffindor, then," he said and backed away from the Slytherins.
"Hey!" said Avery.
Peter turned around, looking like a frightened rabbit.
"Anytime you feel like venting your frustrations, you're welcome to come to us with information. You could be mighty useful to our side. Our spy in Gryffindor. Not bad. How about that?"
Peter nodded nervously. What else could he do? Say no to upcoming Death Eaters?
"We won't rat on you if you accept our offer," said Mulciber.
"Alright," said Peter. He couldn't see any other way to make sure they wouldn't tell his friends what he had done. "I'll do it."
o0o0o
Regulus landed on his back next to Remus, out of breath. "That was good," he grinned.
Remus ran a hand through his damp hair. "Yes. You're amazing," he said and rolled onto his side, pulling Regulus in for a kiss.
Regulus kissed back and then looked at Remus. "I never thought sex would be this much fun. I mean, I always just thought it was whatever you had to do with your wife to have kids."
"Really?" said Remus and pulled the covers over them. "Well, I'm glad I could help broaden your horizon. And I'm sure there's even more things we could try out."
"More things?" asked Regulus curiously. "Is there other stuff we can do?" He had absolutely no idea what gay people did for sex, other than what Remus had shown him.
Remus blushed. "Well, there are a few things. There's, well, for instance… sex with… where..." He stopped for a moment, not sure how to say it. "Well, you know when a man and a woman have sex, the man puts his you know into her. That can be done in gay sex as well. Only... in the you-know-where..." Remus bit his lip, waiting for Regulus' response.
Regulus looked blankly at him for a second and then laughed. "You're funny. But it's not nice teasing just because I don't know as much as you about the subject."
Remus just blinked, taking a few seconds to realise that Regulus didn't believe him. "I'm not joking. It's true."
Regulus' grin froze on his face. "W-what? It's true? Well, that can't be normal. It has to be something only perverts do."
"Actually it's pretty normal, I hear... I haven't tried it, but it's supposed to feel really good once you get used to it." He sighed. "I don't expect you to want to try it, but I figured I would tell you about it, now that you asked."
"Well, if you think I want a cock shoved up my bum, you better think again," said Regulus.
Remus couldn't deny that he was a little disappointed, but he could understand Regulus. He had not been keen on the idea either when Noel had first suggested it. Frankly it had scared him a little and that's why they had never gotten around to it. "Like I said, I didn't expect it to be something you wanted to do..."
"Good. Because I don't. I think it's just fine what we have been doing so far."
"I like it too," smiled Remus and nuzzled against Regulus neck. His body was still buzzing from the orgasm and he didn't feel like getting up. "You want to spend the night? I would love to wake up beside you in the morning."
Regulus sighed. "Me too, but maybe we're pushing it. We've been spending the night here rather often this past month."
"That's true," sighed Remus and caressed Regulus' back. "But at least let's just lie here for a while. I don't feel like getting up just yet."
"Are you looking forward to the holidays?" asked Regulus as he was lying there with his head on Remus' chest.
"Kind of, but then again…" said Remus and let his fingers slide through Regulus' soft locks. "It will be good to see my family but I'm going to miss you like crazy. I suppose you aren't looking forwards?"
Regulus scoffed. "I know how it's going to go. A lot of posh parties and a lot of fighting between Sirius and our parents."
"I know. At least it isn't as long as the summer holidays. We're just going to be home. I think my Mum's family is coming for Christmas, so it's going to be a traditional Muggle Christmas this year. I don't know if my Dad's family is coming yet." Remus was quiet for a moment. "And I'll be ill the first couple of days. It's a full moon on the first day of the holiday."
"Oh... right. Well at least it's not on Christmas." Regulus sighed. This meant that Sirius would be going straight to Remus' place and Regulus would face his parents alone.
"Yeah, that's always something," smiled Remus as he kept running his fingers through Regulus' hair.
They lay quiet for a while. Then Regulus spoke. "There's something else. My parents they… they're probably going to start talking about marriage soon. Like with Sirius. They've been going at him for about a year, so I guess it's my turn soon. Especially since I know they're scared he will not marry a pure-blood."
Remus didn't say anything for a while. It hurt so much hearing Regulus talk about getting married. "I guess they will, but I wish that you would not go through with it. I love you and always will and I wish you could just stay with me instead of marrying someone else."
Regulus swallowed. Again with the 'I love you.' It felt good hearing it but at the same time his stomach clenched with guilt because he couldn't say it back and because it just made things more complicated. "I have to. It's my responsibility to make sure our name lives on. If Sirius fails. And he won't care. He won't even care what position he's putting me in if he refuses to marry a pure-blood."
"I wish he did, so you wouldn't have to," said Remus. It was hard to imagine how things would be if Regulus got married. Would Remus even have the courage and moral to keep seeing him?
"Me too. Well, we can always hope he falls for a pure-blood. And as soon as possible. But I just can't see him settling down any time soon. He's so immature. And he likes his freedom."
"You're probably right. But… there's nothing wrong in hoping," sighed Remus. He didn't want to think about the Black family's responsibilities and how he might lose Regulus. Right now he just wanted to lie with him and forget the World.
A/N: To see Zayhad's illustration to the chapter go to deviantart dot com and look up Zayhad. She has a folder in her gallery with the story's name on it.
