A/N: Sorry my updates have been so erratic - lots of personal health issues have taken my life over. I wish I could say I'm back on track but I doubt this over yet :( Please hang in there with me! We finally made some progress with these two crazy kids and I'd like to see where it goes. Here's the next chapter, enjoy!
Daryl's body gave a quick shiver as a chilling night wind tore past him. The embers glowed dimly in their makeshift camp. He sat back against a giant tree with his crossbow settled across his lap. His cobalt eyes trained at the darkness in the woods around them, watching and guarding. Beth lay curled into a tight ball, a beach towel pulled tightly around her, a few feet away. She trembled and twitched periodically in her sleep. A small, low moan escaped her chapped lips.
Nothing, they had nothing. Daryl wearily wiped his face with his palm, trying to staveoff the cold and exhaustion that had haunted him for weeks.
What were they doing? What was the plan? Beth asked almost daily. Daryl still didn't know the answer. He still didn't know what to do. Everything and everyone was gone. His home, his community, his family had been stripped away by a one-eyed madman and a freakin' tank. Daryl's stomach clenched in what he thought was the anger and guilt that had been twisting him up for weeks but slowly realized it was hunger. Old fashioned hunger. Daryl growled lowly and struggled to his feet. Fuck. What was he doing? He glared down at the blonde shuddering at this feet. Fuckin' Beth. Had to be Beth. Daryl would have preferred just about anyone else. Rick. Michonne. Glenn. Maggie. Sasha. Hell, even Carl. The kid was good with a gun. But Beth… what the hell was she good for? Taking care of Lil' Ass Kicker was just about it.
He squeezed his eyes shut. Judith. Damn. He opened his eyes slowly and peered through the fringe of hair that had fallen across his view. The night was cold and dark and so empty.
What the hell ya tryin' t' do lil' brother? A familiar cold voice chuckled his head. Playin' at family again? You gonna daddy up on this sweet lil' thing at your feet?
Daryl's lip curled into a snarl and he turned away from Beth. Shuddup.
Oh, Darlena, hit a lil'cord there, did Ah? crooned Merle haughtily. Blondie there, huh? Didn't know you was a jail bait fella.
Daryl gripped his crossbow tightly, his knuckles growing white as he turned on his heel and stormed to the other side of the camp. Fuck. She ain't nothing. Nothin' to me, he insisted internally. What good was he to anyone anymore? What good had he ever been to anyone? Never any real hope to Sophia. Damn T-Dog. Couldn't protect his stupid ass brother even from himself. Too late to help Andrea. And Hershel. What good had he been to any of them? If anything, he just made it worse. He gave them false hope, poised as a leader, provider and protector. In the end, he had done nothing but fail. A disappointment. Worthless.
What was he doing? He glared back over his shoulder at the huddled form. Why was he trying? She was never going to last. She was nothing more than a silly fragile girl who had already tried to opt out when shit hit the fan the first time. She had no strength, no skills, no nothing.
Daryl snarled and turned back to the shadowy forest in front of him. Beth was just another failure waiting to happen. Shit. She was hardily alive now. A skinny, starving, tired mess of a girl who followed behind him, questioning him and looking to him for answers. He shifted his weight from foot to foot. Why was he waiting? What was he trying to do by keeping this… this thing going? The group was gone. It was all gone.
He had tried and failed. He was no good to anyone, especially a useless girl. Daryl turned back and frowned at Beth's sleeping form. Her bony fingers gripped the towel tightly under her chin. Even in the darkness, the hollowness around her eyes was apparent.
What was he doing? Daryl twisted his hands around his crossbow in front of him. He had a hard time swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. Leaving. He was leaving. The familiar painful twinge pinched at his stomach again. This time he wasn't completely sure it was hunger but he didn't care. He couldn't do it again. He couldn't go through the hope, the struggle and the failure again.
He wouldn't take any of the supplies. He would leave most everything with her. She had the bag, the lighter and a crowbar. He would leave her with his knife; it was resting by her head as she slept now. He could find another. Daryl stalked back, closer to Beth but didn't look at her. He reached down and grabbed his pack. Most everything was kept in Beth's bag. She had at least been good for that, carrying most of the supplies. His pack contained his bow supplies and an extra shirt but was mostly empty. Daryl slung it up high on his shoulder.
He was leaving. He wasn't going to wait for her to leave.
Daryl took one tentative step. A twig snapped under his heavy foot. He stopped and took a shaky breath. He was leaving. He had to. He hurriedly strode across the encampment, reaching the edge of the camp when he heard her stir.
She shifted up on her elbow. "Daryl," she whispered questioningly, "Wha- what's going on? Walkers?" There was a faint tremble in her voice, raspy and weak.
Damn. Damn. DAMN.
"No. Nothin'… Just checkin' the camp," he replied hushed, his voice cracked with his lie.
"Oh," Beth replied, shifting again to sit up, pulling the towel tightly around her. "You wanna sleep? I can stay up now. You need some rest." Her body shivered slightly.
Daryl kept his back to Beth. He couldn't look at her. "Nah. Go back t' sleep." He focused on the blackness in front of him, jaw set in determination.
Silence filled the space between them . Daryl chewed the corner of his lower lip, biting down hard. A terse minute stretched out between them painfully.
Her soft voice made Daryl jump slightly when it broke the silence. "Daryl, please… sleep. You need to," Beth pleaded.
He kept his body tense and straightened his shoulders. He wouldn't respond. He couldn't do this.
"I can do this." Fuck, what did she just say? He glanced back at her. She was staring intently at him, sitting crossed legged where she had been sleeping, the dolphin beach towel wrapped tightly around her body. Beth's blue eyes were brilliant in the gloom of the night and he held her gaze for a moment, not sure what he was doing. He growled and turned back to the darkness in front of him. Shit.
"Daryl… I can help. You don't have t' do it all alone," she softly said. She paused before continuing, her voice firmer than before. "I'm stronger than I look." The statement hung heavily in the air.
He blew out a huff of air from his nostrils, clearly not an acceptance of the words.
"You have to let me help," she countered. "We… have to do this. We have to try."
For the first time he had heard a force her voice. No tremble, no pout. Daryl turned around and looked intently at her. She wasn't slouched and cowering anymore. Her spine was stiff, her chin tilted up slightly. He had always seen the similarities in fortitude between Hershel and Maggie. They had a fire, a drive in them that was almost tangible. He had never seen Beth express that. She was the docile, angelic Greene family member. He titled his head slightly to the right as he regarded her. But, here before him, was that Greene spark staring back at him in her eyes. What the hell was he doing?
Daryl marched back over to his resting spot and slid down the trunk, scraping his back slightly with the force of dropping. He rested his crossbow across his lap and dropped his pack off his shoulder. He could just postpone, try again. He crossed his arms over his chest and dropped his chin down, closing his eyes. Tomorrow.
"What?" Beth asked.
Crap. Did he say that out loud? Daryl cleared his throat. "Uh, tomorrow… You're gonna have to start, um, learnin' more shit," he sputtered out. What was he doing?
Beth nodded curtly. "Good." She went to remove the towel from her shoulders. "You want the covers?"
Goddamn girl. "No," he grunted back. He wasn't gonna take no damned blanket from a shivering teenage child. What the hell did she take him for? Huh?
The kinda dipshit that LEAVES a shivering teenage girlie to be on her own 'cause he be too muchapussy, rumbled Merle in the back of his mind. Daryl clenched his jaw down tight. He glared over at Beth through his straggled hair. Sonabitch. What the hell was he doing?
"Keep it. Don't need it," he barked at her. "Keep your damned eyes open. Don't feel like bein' lunch for nothin'." He shifted back into the tree, trying to get a comfortable groove.
Merle cackled mockingly deep in Daryl's mind. Darlena, Darlena, don't get your panties in a bunch. Ya never woulda left Blondie. Shit, ya woulda gotten twenty yards from camp and turned your pussy ass back around. Ya know that, I know that. Hell, even Blondie knows that. The laughing faded to the black.
Daryl clenched his jaw again. He fucking hated it when Merle was right. It stung even worse because Beth was right too. He wasn't leaving. Damn it. Tomorrow. Tomorrow this girl was going to learn some skills. Tomorrow they needed a plan. They would do more than survive till the next night.
Daryl jerked awake, the dreamed memory still vivid imagery in his mind. He pulled himself up against the half wall. He hadn't dared venture back to their room last night. It seemed the wiser choice to take refuge on the roof for the night, craven but the better option in the bleakness of night. Daryl grinded his palms into his tired eyes. He had his answer, didn't he? He couldn't leave Beth. He couldn't then and he knew he wouldn't be able to do so now. The damn woman was in his blood.
He rose on unsteady legs. He wasn't as young as he used to be and a night on the cold ground wasn't good for his aching body. Daryl still didn't know what the fuck he was going to do with the situation he had with Beth. He knew he still wasn't any good for her but shit, he knew he couldn't leave her on her own. No matter how bad he thought there needed to be distance between them, they were all each other had anymore. He let out a low growl, knowing it was more than that, Beth was more than that. He just couldn't go there. Daryl couldn't allow himself to sink to that thought pattern again. The one that acknowledged Beth was his spark of goodness in this world, his flame of light and faith.
First things first, he might as well tell the Preacher guy he couldn't accept the offer to leave with the Guardians. Despite the fact Daryl knew it would help protect Beth by going with the group, he knew his place was to protect her by her side to ensure her safety.
There was the faint sound of tires crunching gravel. Daryl looked over the edge of the roof to see two large SUVs being pulled around to the front of the building. There were boxes out already along with men carrying other supplies. The Guardians were getting ready to move out.
He found his way down to the staging area, looking amongst the gathering crew for Gregory. It took him several moments to find him. Gregory was reviewing a cache of weapons, an array of crafted spears and scythes. He could only wonder what the group had planned for the new weapons and the walkers beyond the compound. Daryl took a deep stabilizing breath and walked purposefully to the man. Gregory had a formidable presence due his height and disfigurement but also because of the air of devotion he captured.
Gregory noticed Daryl's arrival immediately and turned to smile at him, at least trying to despite the deformity on his lip and face. "Good morning, Daryl."
Daryl offered a slight head nod. "Morin'. We need to talk."
There was a visible twitch under his eyes as the Preacher returned, "Seems we do." He ushered his head to the side, offering them to step away from the activity of the loading trucks and moving men.
Daryl had to fight the urge to chew the edge of his thumb as he was often prone to do in times of tension. He had the sudden sensation of failure punch him hard in the gut. He was letting down this man who had a strange and instant trust in him. He was failing Beth by not letting her go and leaving her to make a life without him hovering over her. Despite the feeling, Daryl knew if he went through it and left, a piece of himself would be missing somehow. It was certainty he knew. Either way, Daryl figured he was fucked. He might as well be around to protect the one good thing in this world, the sweetest person in his life.
"Made my decision to stay," Daryl stated simply once they were far enough from the hustle and bustle of the group.
The Preacher made a sound low in his throat, onethat seemed to be a mingling of understanding and disappointment. "Thought so after what I saw yesterday."
"What are you talkin' about?" Daryl asked apprehensively, suddenly wondering if he and Beth were as isolated as he had thought in the stock room.
"The scene at gathering. The girl called Beth." Gregory's eyes darkened as they met Daryl's, holding them with a powerful gaze. "It won't work. You and her."
"What the hell do you know?" came out of Daryl before he could stop the growl. He had meant to ask Gregory what he was talking about but possessiveness overcame him and all normal thought was whisked away.
The Preacher let out a deep sigh. "You covet the girl but she is not for you. As said before, we are similar men. We do not get the happy ending. We are protectors of good and light. Do not get the good and light." Gregory drew in a deep and turned his eyes to the sky. He didn't flinch in the brightness of the cloudless and open sky. "It is not our plan," he continued vehemently.
The fact that Daryl understood the wordsGregory spoke, hell that he even agreed with them, didn't stop the urge to slam his fist in the man's already messed up face. He clenched his fists at his sides , willing his body to resist his initial reaction. Daryl had only one viable agreement. "I made a promise. I can't leave her."
Gregory parted his lips once as if to continue his disagreement but stopped. Instead, he nodded his understanding. He could see formidable force before him, there was no persuasion available. "Understood. Do not agree. Bad for both of you but understand in a way I pray neither of you ever will." Gregory walked away from Daryl then in long purposeful strides. Leaving Daryl to ponder the power of the man's words.
