A/N: Chapter written by me, remember avdubs is posting this story on her ao3 page. We'd like to remind everyone of three things. 1) This is a collaboration fic. Every odd chapter is written by me, every even chapter is written by avdubs. 2) This fic will be continuing into Deathly Hallows territory. 3) We're also uploading once a week (Sunday night/Monday morning based on your timezone) so we can have more chapters written. Thanks for all your comments and reviews, and, as always, enjoy!


Professor Snape had his wand out immediately, moving it across Draco's chest slowly, up his arms, down his legs; every part of his body was bleeding. Hermione felt as if she was paralysed, pressed back against the freezing cold tiled wall, not being able to take her eyes off of Draco as he lay in a pool of his own blood, twitching still. She could see more tears escape his eyes as he looked up at their Professor. Hermione knew that Draco was terrified. Not once in her whole life, had she heard someone speak to her in the way that he had when she'd cradled his head in her lap.

"Potter," Snape's voice cut through her thoughts and brought her attention back to Harry standing by the bathroom door. "Go straight to my office immediately." When Harry didn't move at once, Snape glared. "Now!" He snapped, and Hermione recoiled at the intensity of his tone. "Miss Granger, go to the infirmary at once and tell Madam Pomfrey that I'll be bringing Draco," he turned his attention to her then.

She didn't need to be told twice, and pushed off of the floor, stumbling slightly from a combination of still being in shock, and from the floor being covered in water from a broken sink pipe that had been burst when a spell had been sent awry. Hermione walked to the bathroom door and didn't look at Draco or Snape as she left. She was grateful that everyone was in the Hall for dinner, and with every step she took, the more she came to notice the shaking of her hands, and how quickly she'd been breathing. She looked down at herself and paled upon seeing her sodden self - not only from water, but from blood. Draco's blood. Her socks were stained a light red, from kneeling in the blood-stained water. Her skirt and bottom of her shirt was covered in the most of it, and she knew that the blood wouldn't come out.

Her breathing became too quick, and she started running. She needed to get to the infirmary… She needed to make sure Draco could be fixed.

He'll be fine, she chanted in her head. He'll be fine. He'll be fine.


Hermione didn't see anyone on her way back from the infirmary after telling Madam Pomfrey that she should be expecting Snape and Draco fairly soon. The elder witch had been shocked upon seeing Hermione covered in blood, and Hermione had to assure her she was fine and could leave without needing to be treated. She couldn't stop herself from crying as she walked back to the common room, as every time she did so much as blink, all she could see was Draco sprawled on the floor, losing too much blood.

She remembered what he had said. 'I deserve this.' The statement had shocked her at first, and processing it now made her wonder what he meant. No-one deserved the pain he had just been put through. Her mind reeled back to what he had been saying to Myrtle, before he and Harry had started fighting. 'I can't do it.' Hermione knew he'd been talking about what he'd been disappearing to do, but the sentence which had worried her the most, had been, 'He's going to kill me.'

Hermione wanted to slap herself when the conclusion she jumped to was the same one Harry had been thinking for months. No, he isn't, she chastised herself. There was no way Draco could be involved in the Death Eaters. There wasn't a possibility, not after she'd come to know what he was truly like. No Death Eater would befriend a Muggleborn like herself… Or start a relationship with one. Harry's assumptions didn't make sense, and she hoped that after the destruction he had caused, he would think twice about accusing Draco of anything again.

The portrait of the Fat Lady loomed ahead, and Hermione spoke the password, ignoring the woman's concern over her wellbeing. All she wanted was to shower and then sleep and stop her mind from working just for a moment. She had already decided that she would go to the infirmary that night, and nothing could stop her from doing so; not curfew, not anyone else, and absolutely not the threat of detention.

When she entered the common room, she hadn't expected Harry to be standing by the fireplace, wringing his hands together. He looked up quickly when she came in and took in her blood-stained appearance before stepping forward. "Hermione…"

"Don't," she snapped viciously. It was good that everyone was still at dinner, she thought, as she wouldn't have been able to keep her mouth shut if he had been there when the common room was full. "Harry don't you dare think that talking to me right now is a good idea."

"I didn't mean for that to happen!" He yelled at her, instantly becoming defensive like he always did when he was confronted.

"Yes you did!" She yelled right back. "You cast the spell at him! Regardless of whether you knew what the spell did or not, you still cast it."

Harry tensed, his features drawn together as he glared at her. "You heard him talking to Myrtle!"

"I did, but I didn't try to kill him!" She screamed, not caring that her voice was too loud, and that her words were too harsh. She'd held Draco in her arms while he had bled more than any person should; she didn't even know if he was alive and that thought tore a sob from her throat. "Why did you do that, Harry?" She yelled through her tears.

"Why did you help him?!" He closed his mouth the instant he yelled, and his expression softened as he looked at her. The room was silent as she glared at him in disbelief over why he would ask such a thing, and she could tell that Harry knew he'd said the wrong thing.

Her hand came to her cheek and she furiously wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. "Why did I help him? Why did I rush to someone who was bleeding out? Because I'm human, Harry!" Her voice rose once more. "You may not like him, and neither do I-" Her stomach dropped having to speak that lie. "-But that doesn't mean that I would have just stood by and watched him as that happened! Don't ever think of me as the kind of person that would do that," her voice broke and shuddered as another set of tears threatened to overflow. "Don't you ever think that I would be capable of doing something like that."

Harry hadn't even tried to speak up, and he reached his hand out to her, stepping forward. He looked broken when she stepped away from him. "Hermione, please… I didn't mean it," he said softly and watched her as she walked to the staircase leading to the girls' dormitory.

She turned back to look at him. "Just like you didn't mean to curse him?" At that moment, she didn't worry over if she had hurt his feelings, she didn't care that she had maybe yelled too loudly or said some things she shouldn't have… She had to defend Draco… No-one else would. Not even himself.


Hermione stayed in the shower too long. The water was too hot, and scalded her back as she stood under the shower-head, but she needed something to distract her from the memory of what had happened in the bathroom, and then what had just happened in the common room with Harry. She still found herself trembling, and a few sobs tore from her throat when she least expected them to, echoing around the shower cubicle. She scrubbed at her hands until her skin burned, and washed every part of her, trying to clean away the feeling of having Draco's blood all over her.

Her mind kept wandering to terrible thoughts. Thoughts of Draco lying in the infirmary without drawing any air. The only thing that kept her from sinking to the ground with grief, was thinking of how Snape had gotten to the bathroom and had at least started to heal him. "He's not dead," she had to speak aloud to herself, to ground her to the real world and to the facts. Sometimes, she thought, thinking logically instead of emotionally had it's bonuses.

She left the shower when she remembered that dinner would be over soon and there would be a high chance of Lavender and Parvati returning to the dormitory, and Hermione didn't want to deal with either of them. She dried herself and dressed immediately into her warmest pyjamas, and then sat on her bed and pulled the curtains around herself and cast a silencing charm. Every time that her crying ceased, another thought would spring to her mind, wondering if Draco was still in pain, and a whole new wave of tears would escape her eyes.

She didn't know what time she eventually fell asleep. She didn't hear Parvati ask her if she was okay, and tell her that Harry was asking for her. Neither did she hear the final bell of the night, indicating that everyone except the Prefects on patrol, had to be in their dormitories. Hermione's dreams were empty, something she was grateful for. She had been so worn out and tired emotionally that sleep had hit her like a freight train.

When she awoke next, it was with a gasp and the feeling that something was amiss. It had been a rather long time since she had woken up with that feeling, and as she gathered her bearings and rubbed her eyes, flashbacks of the night flashed in her mind. She pushed back the curtains of her bed and found the room lit with moonlight coming through the windows, and it was enough to allow her to see the face of her watch. It was one in the morning, but it didn't stop her from sneaking out of bed and slipping on her shoes and robe. She needed to know if Draco was alright, and slipped out of the dormitory after picking up her wand. Thankfully, there was no-one awake in the common room, and she cast a Concealment charm on herself and looked down to ensure that it had worked. She couldn't see any of her body, and knew that the charm would last the distance for her to get to the infirmary, as it had lasted a rather long time the last time she had cast it on herself.

She remembered the last time she had used the charm, crouching against the wall in an abandoned classroom, invisible to anyone else after Slughorn's Christmas party. It had been in that room that Snape had brought Draco in to talk. It was a sobering thought to realise that using the charm this time, also involved Draco, and Snape to some degree.

Mercifully, the halls were empty as she quickly walked. Not a Professor, Prefect or ghost were to be seen, and she reached the infirmary quicker than she ever would have on a normal occasion. This was no normal occasion, though, she was quick to remind herself. A quick Alohomora on the handles unlocked the doors to the hospital wing, and she slid through the smallest gap she could make before closing the doors behind her. A few candles on the wall were lit, giving just the faintest amount of light that Hermione could make out that there was no-one in any of the beds. Her heart-rate quickened as she thought the worst, until she spotted a screen near the back of the wing; a screen to give patients privacy.

Her footsteps were light as she ran to the end of the hospital wing and around the screen until she was standing at the foot of the bed. Her throat felt thick as she saw him. Draco lay on his back, with the sheets down to his waist. Thick white bandages were wrapped around his chest and arms, several times by the looks of things. Thank Merlin he didn't look in pain, as Hermione didn't know what she would have done if she had come across him in the same agony he had been in when he'd first been hit by Harry's curse.

Hermione's breath caught in her throat as she moved to the side of the bed and used her wand to undo the Concealment charm, then cast a faint Lumos and left her wand on the side table next to the bed. She reached out hesitantly and placed her hand on Draco's and felt it to be icy cold… Her thoughts took her back to their first day by the Lake way back in the Christmas holidays when he'd touched his fingers to her cheek.

"Relax," he had drawled with his usual smirk. "I'm used to it. My hands are always cold."

She couldn't help but let out a soft, weepy laugh recalling the memory, and she pulled a visitor chair closer to her so she could sit. Her hand tightened in his, holding his fingers tightly and she stared at his face. "I don't know if you're asleep normally, or from potions," she admitted in a whisper. "I hope you aren't hurting," she sniffed and lifted her hand from his and moved it to his head. She gently brushed back his hair, and traced her fingers down his pallid cheek. She hated that all of this had happened in a time that he had been most vulnerable; most stressed and upset.

It was a cruel and bitter reminder that his problems and stress didn't magically disappear whenever they spent time together. No matter the amount of time they spent in their Room, no matter what they did together, the issue that was so pressing to him was still always waiting for him when they left, and there was nothing that she could do to stop that.

She was drawn from her thoughts and stopped the movement of her hand when Draco shifted in his sleep. Hermione watched as his peaceful expression cinched, and his jaw tightened as he started to wake. She brushed his hair back and he tensed once more and his eyes opened quickly.

"It's okay," she whispered quickly, standing from the chair. "It's just me. It's Hermione."

Draco let out a shaky breath as he looked up at her with wide, scared eyes before he settled and she could visibly see him relax. He licked his lips before he turned his head with a wince and looked at the side table. "S-Sore…" He breathed and she turned to see what he was looking at. She spotted a small cup of potion on the table and picked it up and brought it to his lips, figuring Madam Pomfrey had left it out for him should he have needed it. Luckily Hermione had been there, since she had no idea how Draco would have been able to reach for it when he could barely move his head without pain.

She kept the small plastic cup near his lips, gently tipping it to allow him to drink the potion slowly. When he was finished, his head reclined back into the pillow and he let out a breath. "How are you feeling?" She asked quietly and placed the cup back on the table, and then sat in the chair.

Draco turned his head slightly to look at her. "Shit," he said, with a half-hearted smirk on his face which made her smile. He was trying…

She slipped her hand into his and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered. "Well...not okay, but… You know what I mean," she rambled

"I'm glad you were there," he said after a moment of silence. His voice was weak and raspy. "I don't know what would have happened if you weren't."

"You don't need to think about that," she shook her head. He looked away from her and stared up at the ceiling, and she spotted a few scar lines on his skin, already starting to heal. They mustn't have been as bad as the ones on his torso or arms, as his neck hadn't been wrapped in bandages. Seeing the damage made her wonder just exactly what the curse was and how Harry had discovered it.

"Why did you come here?" He asked after several quiet minutes. "You could get in trouble."

"I don't care," she said surely. "I needed to see you. Nothing would have stopped me." She watched as the corner of his lip quirked up in the slightest before his face was passive once more.

"Not even Potter?" He asked bitterly.

His comment made her stand again so she could be closer to the bed. "No," she said, her voice tight. "Draco, listen to me. I hate what he did to you. I've never been so angry at him before, I can't believe he even did it. We got into a fight after it happened. I'm with you Draco. I promise."

He avoided her eyes and swallowed hard. "Alright," he managed to get out. When he finally looked at her, she could see as he bit the inside of his cheek. "Thank you," he said, his voice wavering on the last word.

Hermione shook her head and leaned down and pressed her lips firmly to his before she hugged him as best as she could without leaning on him. "Don't thank me."

"I need to," Draco said, his voice thick then, and he buried his head into the crook of her neck. "You didn't need to do what you did." A few seconds passed before his shoulders shook as he started to cry.

Hermione thread her fingers through his hair, holding the back of his head tightly. "I did," she said to him, staying strong.

"Thank you," he said again, though she knew he was properly crying then, and she could feel wetness on her neck where his face was pressed. "You're all I've got…"

The admission broke her heart and she struggled to keep herself strong, to be his rock for once, rather than the other way around.

"We have each other, Draco," she whispered in his ear. "Always. I promise you that."

And she knew that she'd always promise that. Until her last breath.


Even though Hermione had become quite used to attending lessons without Draco, no thanks to his frequent disappearances, arriving to their Arithmancy class on Wednesday morning, knowing exactly why he wouldn't be there, was tough. She had ended up leaving the infirmary the night before, around an hour after she'd arrived. The potion Draco had taken had made him rather tired, but he had fought sleep for too long, that by the time two in the morning had rolled around, he was fast asleep while she sat by his bedside.

All she had wanted was to take his pain away. She'd spent plenty of time in the past sitting by Harry or Ron's bedsides in the infirmary, but with Draco now, it was different. The feeling of guilt and dread hit her in a completely different way than when it did if ever Harry or Ron had been hurt. While she cared for all the boys, she knew that everything just felt different when Draco was involved. It had started to worry her a bit until she'd talked herself out of thinking about it too much. Draco was healing, and he was safe in the hospital wing, and all she could do was hope for a speedy recovery.

She'd chosen not to sit at the Gryffindor table for breakfast, and ignored Harry as she grabbed herself a banana to take on her walk up to her Arithmancy class. He'd tried to get her attention - and so had Ron so it was safe to assume Harry had let him in on what had happened - but she didn't even glance his way as she turned back towards the large doors to exit the Great Hall.

As per usual, she had been the first to arrive outside the classroom, and ate her banana as she leaned back against the wall. She found herself counting down the minutes until the bell rang, just so she could keep her thoughts on something other than the catastrophe that was what this month was turning out to be. Just by chance, Professor Vector opened the classroom door early and allowed Hermione to come in and take her seat.

"Dra- Uh, Malfoy won't be attending the class, Professor," Hermione had told the witch before she sat down, quickly remedying her slip up in his name.

"Yes, I know," Professor Vector said, a solemn look on her face as she walked to the blackboard at the front of the room. "All the staff members were alerted to the situation that occurred."

Hermione didn't say anything more and sat down at her usual desk and started to take out her things and managed to get a head start in copying down the notes from the board. She wondered if it had been Professor Snape to alert the staff members of what had happened to Draco. Maybe the Professor had told everyone that Harry was the reason Draco was in the hospital wing. It made her puzzle over whether Harry would be receiving punishment - surely he must… Professor Snape wouldn't have let any student go punishment-free if they had done what Harry had.

The bell rang, making Hermione jump and almost drop her quill. Looking up from her parchment, she saw that the rest of the class had already entered before the bell had sounded, and she told herself to focus. It would do no good sitting all day thinking of this when she had exams fast approaching and the imminent need to solve the mystery behind Voldemort's Horcruxes. How that would happen though when she couldn't even look Harry in the eye, however, she didn't know.


Unlike the night before, Hermione couldn't fall asleep once she'd retired to the dormitory that night. Not that she tried, though. As the lights in the room turned off, Hermione cast a Lumos charm and kept her wand on her bed while she read Secrets of the Darkest Arts, waiting for one a.m. to roll around. Once it did, she would make her way to the infirmary to visit Draco once more. The book was thick, and bound in fading black leather, with brittle pages. It sent a sick feeling to her stomach seeing the crease marks on the spine of the book from being read so many times in the past and knowing that she was adding to that count.

As she started to read, the thought of holding the same book that Voldemort had disgusted her enough to almost stop her from reading, but she knew she couldn't. Whatever was in this book was imperative for them to know. Just skimming through the first few chapters was ghastly enough, and she read snippets of paragraphs that made her stomach churn, and saw drawn diagrams that caused her to flip through the pages quicker. She didn't understand how anyone would want to be involved in this kind of dark magic.

Chapter six dealt with Horcruxes, and the only thing she was grateful for was that the book had the most information on them than any other book she'd tried searching in. Before reading the words, she noticed the corner of the page had several crease marks, as if it had been bent down to bookmark it for future use. As she started to read, she could imagine just why Voldemort wanted to create Horcruxes. He would have been convinced no-one would be capable of destroying any that he made, ensuring that he would be immortal. It was the knowledge that Harry had already destroyed one Horcrux that kept her from scaring herself with the thought that Voldemort may never die.

There was only so much of the chapter that she could read before she didn't want to continue. It wasn't one o'clock yet, but it was close enough that there was a high chance she wouldn't get caught by any Professors that may be walking around - she highly doubted that they would, though. She cast the Concealment charm on herself before she slowly drew back the curtains around her bed and slipped out to go down to the common room. No one was there, making it easy for her to exit through the portrait and make her way to the hospital wing. It was freezing in the halls and she was glad she was still wearing her school uniform with her jumper, as she knew she'd be even more cold had she changed into her pyjamas.

The journey to the infirmary was almost as uneventful as the night before. Nearly-Headless Nick had glided through a classroom door in front of her, almost making her let out a noise of surprise, but she managed to contain herself, and quickened her pace to reach Draco. The door to the hospital wing opened easily for her after using the Alohomora charm, and once inside with the door closed behind her, she smiled in anticipation of finally getting to see Draco again. The sheet was still around his bed, and she slowly and quietly pulled it back and looked in.

"You can't help but break the rules, can you?" Draco whispered from where he lay, making Hermione's smile widen.

She walked to his bedside and placed her hand on his. "How are you feeling?" She asked. He still had the same thick layering of bandages wrapped around his chest and arms, but from the low light in the room she could see he was beginning to get some colour back to his face.

"Sore," he answered. "Could you grab me that potion again?" He asked, turning his head to look at the side table. She picked up the small cup that had been left and helped him drink it, making sure he had every last drop before she placed it back down. "Tastes horrible," he muttered and she laughed quietly while she used a Aguamenti spell to fill another cup with water, and brought it to his lips again.

"Lucky I'm here, hm?" She said and moved the cup back after he'd had a few swallows.

"Very," he nodded and sighed as he rest his head back. "So, what did I miss today?"

She sat on the side of his bed and he twitched his fingers upwards to rest just on her knee, the best he could do without moving fully. She reached down to twine their fingers together and then began to tell him what had happened that day. Everything from avoiding Harry at breakfast, to finding out that the teachers knew that Draco was in the hospital wing, to every class she attended and what she did on her breaks. She almost slipped up and told him of the Secrets of the Darkest Arts, but quickly stopped herself; no matter how much she wanted him to know too, she didn't want to face the consequences from Harry, Dumbledore and the rest of the Order.

"What?" Draco asked, his brows furrowed. "You were going to say something."

Hermione mentally cursed herself, but leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his cheek so he couldn't see the guilt on her face. "I was just going to tell you how much I've missed you," she said. It was true… Just not what she had been going to say. "I'm sorry I can't visit through the day."

Draco shook his head barely. "It's okay. I don't expect you to," he said. "And anyway, I've already got Madam Pomfrey to give me my potions through the day, you just pick up her job overnight," he joked with a weak smile.

She smiled at him and placed her hand on his cheek. "What did it feel like?" She asked after a few moments of silence, and her smile disappeared.

His smile had already disappeared before she'd asked the question, and he drew in a breath. "I've never felt any sort of pain like that before," he admitted. "It was…like I was being stabbed. Repeatedly in the same place. But the knives were boiling hot and ripping me too." She winced as he described the pain, but he didn't stop. "It felt...too real. You know what it's like to receive a hex, or have a spell thrown at you, right?" He asked, and she nodded once. "You can feel the magic in your body when that happens. You can feel that it isn't someone physically inflicting that pain on you, but something. But...this curse was so different. I couldn't comprehend what was real and what wasn't. It felt too real to be coming from a wand. In my mind, someone had those knives. Someone was cutting me and tearing me to shreds and I couldn't move to stop it. It completely incapacitated me."

She wanted nothing more than to hug him tightly as he spoke, but didn't want to hurt him by leaning on somewhere she shouldn't. Every description she used made her anger towards Harry boil, and her guilt swell over not being able to stop him before he'd thrown the curse at Draco.

"It's not as bad now," he continued and looked her in the eye. "The potions sort of keep it at bay. But it's still painful. Deep down, though. Right inside my body, it's hard to explain. I still can't move without it feeling worse, though."

"You've tried moving?" Hermione asked worriedly.

He nodded. "I moved my leg earlier this morning. Turns out there are cuts on my leg too, and moving caused them to open up. Madam Pomfrey says that the potions are just numbing the pain until Snape can make a salve that's going to heal up the cuts properly."

"That's why you're wrapped up," she said, looking at his chest and arms. "These ones aren't open, though," she said, looking at his neck. She moved her hand close, but didn't touch the skin for fear of hurting him.

"That's where Snape started healing from first, when he cast that spell when he found us."

"I don't think I've ever been this grateful towards Snape before," she said with a soft laugh, and placed her hand back on his cheek.

"Mm…" Draco hummed and looked down at his chest. "Me either…"

"I should hope so," Hermione said softly. "He saved you."

Draco looked down at his feet then. "That he did," he said, his voice quietly, and Hermione knew that tone of voice.

Disappointment.


Time moved too slowly. Normally, without Draco around if he skipped classes or disappeared for days, Hermione would be able to spend the majority of her time with Harry and Ron. Now, though, she couldn't look Harry's way without being overcome with anger, and Ron wasn't usually away from him, so that didn't leave her with many people to spend time with. Ginny had started to hang around with Ron and Harry between and after classes, too, so Hermione didn't have the option to catch up with her either.

It was horribly lonely. At least the last time she, Harry and Ron hadn't been speaking to each other, she'd been able to spend a lot of time with Draco. Now, she only got to see him in the dead of the night, and only for an hour because they both needed rest - him more so. Every time she visited him, his chest and arms were still bandaged firmly, and he told her of the variety of potions Madam Pomfrey made him take throughout the day.

Hermione had taken to copying out her classnotes during her free periods or after classes, and taking them to Draco at night so he could read them over during the day time, to give him something to stimulate his mind instead of lying still all day. She knew that he was suffering greatly from being confined to the bed, day in and day out, without being able to move without horrible pain - it was like he was suffering from a whole new type of cabin fever.

On the fifth night he'd been in the hospital wing was when she really started to notice changes in his demeanor. He didn't smile as much after she'd arrived, and it was hard to get a whole conversation out of him. He even asked her to go early because he said he was too tired. Asking her to leave didn't seem like something she had to be worried about, but it was the next night when Draco told her to leave early again that she started to get worried. He hadn't mentioned that he was tired, or that he wanted to sleep, but merely suggested, "You should go," halfway through her speaking, before he looked away from her completely. She had tried asking him what was wrong but to no avail, and she left irritated and confused.

Hermione spent Monday in the library when she wasn't in classes, working on finishing all of her homework from that day and getting started on more exam preparation. It managed to keep her mind off of Draco and Harry for the majority of the day, but when it drew close to dinner time, she had to make her mind up… She debated over whether visiting Draco that night would be a good idea or not. She did want to see him, and to make sure that he was okay and to be there to be the one to give him his pain potion, but she didn't know if she could deal with his snippy mood, or his dismissal if he were to give her one.

Guilt, and the hope that maybe Draco would be nicer to her that night, made Hermione leave the common room at one in the morning and go to the infirmary. When she reached the hospital wing and walked to his bed, she took in a deep breath before pushing back the screen to get to his bed. "Hello," she greeted him in a whisper, with a small smile; she didn't want him to think she was angry if he was in a better mood that night.

His eyes opened slowly, and he only looked at her for a few seconds before averting his eyes again. "You shouldn't be here," was all he said.

Hermione paused in her walking to his bed and her smile fell. "Well I am, so you can deal with it," she said, steeling herself to stand strong if he was going to act in that way.

"Go back to your dormitory," he said, his voice low and monotonous.

She straightened her shoulders and walked to his bedside. "Why?" She asked and picked up the cup of medicine left out on his side table. "Why do you feel like being an arse is going to help in any way?" She questioned, her stare hard as she brought the rim of the small plastic cup to his mouth.

He glared up at her but drank the potion and rest his head back. "You shouldn't be here," he said again. "Go."

"No," Hermione grit her teeth. "Why are you acting like this?" She asked, fighting to keep herself from raising her voice. She was tired of fighting everyone all the time.

"You shouldn't be around me," he answered and she saw him shift as he lay; it must have been killing him not being able to move when he was this angry.

She almost scoffed at his reasoning as it had been the same thing that had been said in the majority of their fights in the past few months. "When are you going to realise Draco?!" She snapped. "I'm staying with you and I'm not going anywhere. Nothing you say or do will change that."

"Are you sure about that?" He responded bitterly. "Are you really sure Granger? Stop thinking so highly of everyone in your bloody life and open your eyes. I'm not a good person. Leave."

"You're not a bad person," she hissed. "Stop with the self deprecating and realise that you don't think very highly of yourself."

"I shouldn't. I know I'm a bad person, and you need to know it to. Stop dreaming and understand that not everyone is as fucking good as you."

Hermione glared and placed the plastic cup on the side table with a little more force than necessary. "I almost didn't come here tonight, you know that?" She said. "But I did. Because even though you've been an utter...arse to me, I still care! Because that's what people do, Draco. Forgiveness is a great thing and you're lucky that I have it, because if I didn't, I would have been gone a long time ago." She knew that fighting wasn't the best thing the both of them should be doing, but goddamnit she was tired of people trodding on her and underestimating her. "You're the one that needs to stop dreaming, Draco. Wake up and see that I care. See that your friends care too. You're the only person that thinks horribly of yourself. You need to start accepting some help, because no matter what, forgiveness can run thin."

She was breathing heavily when she finished, and Draco's jaw was tight as he stared up at her. He didn't say a word more and neither did she. Too angered and frustrated, Hermione turned and pushed back the screen and left the infirmary without looking back.


On Wednesday morning, Hermione had been sitting at the Gryffindor breakfast table when the Hall went quiet for several seconds. She looked up from her bland bowl of porridge to see what the matter was, and her eyes widened when she watched Draco make his way to the Slytherin table. He wasn't walking as he normally would, as he had a slight limp and wasn't standing tall and proud. Surely he still had bandages around his chest, under his jumper and shirt if he was walking the way he was, and she felt the need to get up and get to him to ask if he was okay despite the fact they hadn't spoken since their fight. She'd been unable to sleep that night after returning to the Gryffindor Tower, and spent the whole of Tuesday exhausted and managed to avoid talking to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. She hadn't felt the need to visit Draco that night, which was why she was so shocked to see him enter the Hall.

Draco looked over at the Gryffindor table, and she could see a slight flush on his cheeks - most likely due to the vast majority of the student body staring at him -, but he didn't look at her. No. His sights were firmly on Harry, as he gave him the most venomous look Hermione had ever seen. She looked at Harry then and saw him get up from his seat and leave the Great Hall, not even giving one glance at Draco, and the noise in the Hall resumed.

The porridge in front of her went to waste, as Hermione kept an eye on Draco as he made his way to the Slytherin table and gingerly sat himself down. She then watched as Pansy Parkinson got up from where she was seated, and rushed to Draco and started talking to him. It didn't take long before she turned away with an angry look on her face, and stormed out of the Hall, leaving Draco sitting by himself.

With her appetite gone, and nothing else to wait for, Hermione got up and left to make her way to Arithmancy, wondering if Draco would skip, even though he showed up for breakfast. It almost looked like he would be missing out on classes as she entered the classroom when the bell went, with the rest of her class members, but a few minutes afterwards, Draco came in and apologised. He seemed out of breath, and the Professor didn't scold him or ask any questions, just told him to take a seat.

Hermione's eyes stayed firmly ahead when he sat next to her, and at the same time as listening to Professor Vector speak, she could hear Draco's shallow breathing beside her. Unable to pretend he wasn't there any longer, Hermione turned her head slightly and saw him slouching back in the chair, one hand on his stomach. "Are you okay?" She mouthed. He nodded once and looked away from her and to the front of the class, causing a surge of anger to rise within her once more. The one time she decided to be nice when she should have stayed quiet and angry towards him, he ruined it all by being an arse. Again.

She almost felt bad when a couple of minutes later, he placed a piece of parchment in front of her.

I didn't realise walking around would hurt this much. I'm just in pain. I thought about what you said a lot last night, and I don't think we should be fighting. She struggled not to snort at that, thinking that he shouldn't have been horrible enough in the first place to start the fight. I'm going to the infirmary to get some more pain potion after this. Can we meet in the Room later? Before dinner?

Hermione read the message over once more and let out a breath through her nose. She didn't know what good would come of continuing to be angry at him when he was reaching out, seemingly going to apologise. She picked up her quill and put it to the parchment.

I'll be in our Room straight after Defence. If you're even a minute late, I'm leaving. I won't put up with your indecisiveness of whether you like me or not.

The full stop she added at the end caused the ink to pool, and she watched Draco out the corner of her eye as he read her message.

I'll be there early then. I was a prick and I want to talk before I lose you too.

The crease between Hermione's brows smoothed out when she read his last four words. Just like a true Slytherin, he knew how to ensure her presence, but, she knew in her heart that he wasn't saying it to manipulate her into showing. He meant it, and she could see it in his expression when she glanced at him properly.

What did I tell you Draco? I said we'd always have each other.

She saw him relax in his seat, and they both jumped and looked ahead when Professor Vector called for their attention and asked Draco a question. He cleared his throat before answering correctly, and received five points for Slytherin. Hermione was asked something immediately after, and of course gave the correct answer and also received five points.

Receiving the points didn't feel half as good as it did when Draco dropped his hand under the table and placed it on her knee.


Hermione split off from the rest of the students exiting from their Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, and took a completely different route to the seventh floor - one that was longer, but would ensure no-one would see her make her way to the Room of Requirement instead of going back to Gryffindor Tower. She had spent the rest of the day since Arithmancy, focusing all of her energy into her classwork, listening to every word her Professors spoke and answering as many questions as possible. She'd come to the realisation that she ought to start forcing herself to pay more attention to listening to the Professors, even though she had already read ahead in all of her classes. It kept her from thinking too much about what was going on outside of schoolwork, and managed to keep her sane.

She reached the Room of Requirement five minutes after leaving her last class of the day, and paced three times before the door appeared. She didn't have any doubts that Draco would be there, so wasn't surprised to see him in the Room when she opened the door. He was pacing though, and when he looked up at her, she could see a sheen of sweat on his face and a flush to his cheeks. He had a look in his eyes too… Something she hadn't seen before; he seemed frantic, and more stressed than she'd ever witnessed him looking before.

"Has something happened?" She asked, deciding to forgo her plan of acting stony towards him until he apologised properly.

"No," he shook his head and walked over to her.

She noticed him wince every few steps, and she held her hands up when he was a foot away from her. "Don't lie to me," she said, narrowing her eyes. "I'm observant."

"I know you are," Draco said and gave her a weak smile. "I'm just in pain."

"Did you get-"

"A pain potion, yes, I did," he cut her off and reached out to take one of her hands and pull her towards the couch and the fireplace.

Her brow was pulled down as he held her hands tightly, but she sat next to him nonetheless. "Draco, what's going on?" She asked, and he immediately stood up again from the couch and walked to the fireplace.

"I need you to promise me something," he said in a rush. Hermione made to stand up from the couch but he stopped her. "No, please… Just sit."

"You're worrying me, Draco," she admitted.

His hands were clenched by his side and he took some time before speaking again. "No matter what might happen in the future, I need you to know that I'd never do anything to hurt you. In any way."

Hermione sat forward, her worry turning into confusion. What is he talking about? She thought and she had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach… Why would he be apologising about the future if something wasn't going to happen in the first place? "You don't have anything to apologise for," she said surely.

He shook his head and reached up to grab the back of his neck. "Whatever might happen, you need to know that I'm with you. Alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just… Remember it. Please, Granger, you need to remember that."

Ignoring his earlier request to stay seated, Hermione stood up and walked over to him. "Stop talking like this," she said sharply. "Nothing's happened. Nothing will happen," she looked him right in the eye and her stomach sank when he looked away from her. "Nothing is going to happen," she said again through gritted teeth, and put her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. "Right?"

Her fingers dug into his cheeks gently until he finally looked at her. "I don't know," he admitted, his voice quiet.

She bit the inside of her cheek and dropped her hands and instead wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a hug, standing on her toes. Harry can't be right, she said firmly to herself, Draco's talking about something else. He has to be.

"Go to Dumbledore," she said in his ear, her voice weak. "He can help you, Draco. No matter what it is."

Draco didn't answer, but his arms came around her waist and he pulled her tight to his body, his face tucked in the crook of her neck.


"I got my bandages taken off today," he told her, and she lifted her head from where it was rested on his arm.

"You did? So everything's healed properly?" She asked. It was Friday, two days after he had been released from the infirmary. That also made it two days since his bizarre request and apology. They had spent the rest of that night together in their Room, and once things had settled, she had helped him catch up on a lot of his homework. Thursday was spent in much the same manner during their free periods and when classes finished for the day, and it was good for her own study too. Repeating and reteaching a lot of what the Professors had been teaching during the week Draco had been away, was a good way for the information to cement itself into her mind.

Right then, though, they were lying together on the bed that had made its way back into the Room's design, after Draco had waited on the seventh floor for her to finish her rounds with Ernie Macmillan. Luckily she and Ernie had agreed at the start of their Rounds that he would patrol the dungeons and the first three floors, and Hermione would take the top four. She'd almost had a heartattack when Draco revealed himself to her near Gryffindor Tower, asking her to come to their Room. She'd agreed without hesitation - it was Friday night after all.

"Yeah. There's still enough scars to remind me of it, though," he said. "Battle scars," he added with a wry smile and a soft laugh.

She smiled at him too and her fingers fiddled with the top button of his shirt. "Can…" She started, unsure on whether it was appropriate or not to ask.

Luckily, he seemed to know what she wanted to ask, and lifted his hand to hers, brushing her fingers out of the way so he could start to unbutton his shirt. "Madam Pomfrey says they should fade, but not completely. They'll always be there," he said, and used his other hand to help unbutton his shirt when Hermione sat up slightly.

Her breath caught in her throat when his shirt was open to reveal his chest. The largest of the scars ran from just under his left armpit, across his chest and down his stomach to his hip. The scar was a shade or two darker than his skin tone, and she looked at all the other scars across his chest, all still the same colour, but smaller, and spread more randomly across his skin. There was one along his chest about the length of a quill, one across his collarbone, two scars down by his bellybutton that almost met in an 'x'.

"Do they hurt?" She asked, finally finding her voice.

He shook his head, and for that she was relieved. "Not anymore. The ones on my back felt a bit strange when I got dressed, but nothing compared to how painful they were when I was still wrapped up like a mummy," he added with a smile.

She couldn't help but laugh, and she rested her forehead on his shoulder. "Only you could keep this situation light," she murmured against his skin then looked up, their faces inches apart.

"I have to," he shrugged.

Hermione smiled and leaned forward to kiss him, and his hand came up to the back of her head, holding her close to him. He kissed her hard, and she did the same, holding tightly onto his shoulders. It had felt too long since they had done this, and with every emotion that they'd been feeling in the past week, this felt like it was a long time overdue.

It was good for them, she thought, that they were doing this; to let themselves think only of each other in this sense instead of worrying so much about everything that had been clouding their minds for so long. The both of them needed to relax and stop thinking, and this was perfect.

She didn't protest when Draco rolled over so she was on her back and he was positioned above her. Her hands slipped down to his chest, spreading her fingers wide across his skin as they kissed and got lost in each other for so long she lost track of the time passing by.

It got carried away, and she found herself arching closer to him, her breathy sighs sounding more like moans, and then his right hand slipped between them and rest on the inside of her left thigh. Their lips parted, both of them pulling back to pant, looking at each other with a wave of understanding coming across them. I'm ready, she thought to herself as she stared into his eyes, his pupils so dilated and so fixated on her.

They didn't speak at first, the only sounds between them was of them both catching their breath. Draco moved his hand, massaging her thigh, and she wondered if he would have been this bold if she had been wearing her school skirt, and not the jeans she currently had on.

"Do you want to?" He asked, his voice a whisper.

Hermione's hands ran up his arms, holding onto his biceps. "Y-Yes," she breathed with a nod. Her heart was racing, thundering from the nerves that were starting to overtake everything. Too many thoughts ran through her head: what if it didn't feel like what she hoped it would? What if he didn't like it? Was this the right time after everything that had been going on? What if something wasn't right down there - she wouldn't know.

His hand moved off her thigh and he rolled off her slightly, leaning on his side so he could unbutton her jeans. She could see that his trousers were much tighter than they had been before they'd gotten to the bed, and when she focused in on his hands, she saw his fingers move clumsily. It must have been new to him too… He wouldn't have acted so nervous otherwise.

Her cheeks were bright red when he got her button undone and her zip down, and hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her jeans. She lifted her bum off the mattress so he could slide them down, and she managed to kick them off once the waist got passed her knees. She felt bare to his gaze, only wearing her top and underwear which wasn't anything special - she hadn't thought she'd need anything special when she packed her trunk for sixth year…

She looked up from her own bare legs, and to Draco's face. His hand was resting on her stomach, which was rising and falling quickly with every breath she took, and he finally lifted his gaze from her underwear to look her in the eye. "What does it feel like?" He asked quietly.

"You've never…?" Hermione trailed off as he shook his head once. "It's…" She started and then bit on her bottom lip. Embarrassment flooded over her. Whilst she knew that exploring one's own body was natural, it was still a whole other issue actually admitting to someone else that she'd touched herself in the privacy of her bedroom during the holidays when she knew she was home alone. It's just Draco, she tried to reason with herself. You've done plenty of things together… Nothing should be an embarrassment anymore. "It's kind of...warm," she told him. "And wet… Sort of tight too…" Her face must have been glowing red by that point, but Draco didn't laugh or make fun of her - not that she'd ever have expected him too.

He understood her embarrassment, and kissed her again, and kissed her longer, so that as the minutes passed, she came to understand that it wasn't something she should be embarrassed about with him. They had done so much together - they were dating for Merlin's sakes - and not only that, they were so in tune with each other emotionally now, that it shouldn't have been as big an issue as she initially thought it to be in her head.

She wanted to make him understand that she was ready, and took his hand from her stomach and moved it down to her knickers. They continued to kiss, but it grew messy and uncoordinated when she moved her hand away, and his fingers ducked into the waistband of her underwear. Her hands tensed on his shoulders when his fingers first made contact, running between her lips and feeling how wet she was. Her legs parted as she now wanted him to touch her more… To not be as hesitant as he was being. One of her hands left his shoulder to reach down and push her knickers down, and she looked between them. Draco was looking too, and she felt one of his fingers uncurl to explore, pushing between her lips as he grew more confident.

"There…" She breathed, nodding when he found her entrance, and she held his forearm tightly as he pushed in slowly. She couldn't describe the feeling… It had felt so strange, but wonderful when she had used her own fingers in the few fleeting times she'd explored, but Draco's hands - and fingers - were much bigger than her own.

Draco glanced at her face once, and she hoped her expression wasn't too ridiculous as her head fell back against the pillow and she lifted her hips slowly off the mattress. He pushed his finger a little deeper inside her before drawing out once more, and she took the initiative to reach down again. "Your thumb…" She told him, and when he extended it, she guided it straight to her clit. He was too eager, and she jolted and let out a moan at the spark it shot through her body.

His fingers found a rhythm that was comfortable for him and beyond pleasurable for her, and she pushed her hips up, seeking more, needing more. Her hand was still on Draco's that was between her thighs, and her other arm wrapped around his back to the best of her ability. He was breathing heavily against her shoulder and between her moans, she turned her head to him.

"B-Bit more," she breathed and helped him move his thumb to where she could handle it. He was a quick learner and had her gasping and moaning louder. His hand movements didn't stop, and he started to kiss her neck, clumsily running his tongue over the spot under her ear he'd discovered previously. As the time wore on, Hermione's body tensed, and she gripped his arm tightly when she came, her whole body falling back to the bed, her bones feeling rubbery.

Draco withdrew his finger slowly, and then ran his fingertips against her once more and her legs jolted. She was panting, and brought her own hand up from where it was resting between her legs, and placed it on her stomach.

"That was…" She whispered and pressed her lips to Draco's cheek. "So good," she assured him and he rolled off of her and onto his side. She just found enough strength to reach down and pull her knickers up, and couldn't care less about any embarrassment she thought she would have felt, and leaned against his side.

"I'm glad," he murmured and turned so their foreheads were pressed together.

"Thank you for not trying to shut yourself off even more," she said softly, tilting his chin up. "I know you just want to make sure I'm not hurt in this, but…" She paused, and grabbed his face with her hands, pressing a firm kiss to his lips and she watched his eyes flutter closed briefly, and then felt his soft exhale tickle her lips when they parted.

She waited patiently while Draco stayed quiet, sorting out his thoughts. She learned that Draco liked to gather his thoughts before he spoke, and he liked to sort everything out in his head instead of blurting out whatever came to his mind. "You're right," he said hoarsely. "I was trying pushing you away." She deflated a bit at this, hating that she was right more than she thought she would be. "But it's not just about keeping you safe."

When he remained silent, Hermione took his hands in hers, lacing their fingers together. They were warm and a bit calloused, but she quite enjoyed the way it felt against her skin. "Then what is it about? I've already told you, I've put myself in plenty of danger for and with Harry, and I'm still here."

"But Potter doesn't want you to put yourself in danger for him," he said, and she could feel him tensing up. "You can't deny it. You've said so yourself, he loves you like a sister, he wouldn't want you in danger."

"Yes," she said quietly, running her thumb along the back of his hand. "You're right, but Harry's accepted long ago that Ron and I are there for him until the end. He knows we love him as much as he loves us and we want to help him."

Draco sighed heavily and released his hands from hers so he could dig the heels of his palms into his eyes. "You deserve someone better than me," he murmured so quietly she barely heard him at all. "Nothing about our relationship is going to be easy. I don't… I don't want to fail at giving you what you deserve."

Hermione sat up slightly and hooked her leg around his hips so she was settled on his thighs, and leaned down so their faces were close together again. She kissed his jawline up to his cheek and laid a hand on his chest, her fingers across the largest of his scars. "I want to be with you, Draco. Nothing you can say would change that."

"You can't be so sure of that," he said.

She inhaled deeply, looking down at her hands. "My mum always told me to listen to my gut. That no matter what, your gut was always right." It was then that she looked him squarely in the eyes. "My gut tells me I want to be with you, no matter how difficult it may be. None of us know what the future will bring, but I know that I want you there with me when we find out. This may be our only chance and...it's worth it to me."

His hands rest on her bare legs, and it took him a while to respond. "I won't make you regret anything, Hermione," he said, and the use of her first name made her lips curl into a smile. It wasn't often that he said it, and she didn't mind that he didn't… It made it more special to hear it when he did.

"I know you won't. What I said in the infirmary? I meant it. We'll always have each other. I'll make sure of it."