Rick and Priyanka- Do You Own a Mirror?

Eighteen hours earlier.

It was nearly one in the morning when Rick awoke for the third time in so many hours.

He glanced down at his beautiful step-granddaughter and thought, She doesn't look like Jagadamba. They both look like Priyanka who in turn looks a little like Jayne and her first husband. So, they look like Jayne. Huh. Well, I'll be. They are all so good-looking, he thought willing to think about anything than what was really on his mind.

He kissed Carly-Jayne's forehead when he caught sight of Judith staring right at him. She was lying on Michonne's chest.

She smiled at him and went back to sleep without stirring Michonne much to his relief. He didn't really feel up to dealing with her at the moment.

Regardless, he found himself transfixed by her. He stared hard at his paramour, wondering what secrets swirled in her brain.

His own brain gripping with the fact his son may biblically know his woman.

I hope I am wrong. The two people I love more than anyone- again. This. I have already been through this with Lori and Shane. What is it about me? What is it about me that make those closet to me betray me? Am I that unlovable?

Ultimately, Michonne is replaceable. Carl isn't. I could have a hundred more sons and not a one could even come close to filling that hole.

He is the only thing, my only excuse, the one permissible right I have for existence. Without him, I got nothing.

He is my past, present and future. I have everything riding on him and he refuses to see that.

I get it. He loved Michonne first. She was his first.

I understand. But, she's mine now. More than that, Carl got Jagadamba back in his life. What the fuck he needs with Michonne?

And she wouldn't? Would she? She sees him as a son. Maybe she wasn't lying earlier. She just felt sorry for him. They are not in sexual relationship. They are not. Are not.

Then Rick thought back to the kitchen. And seeing Carl embrace Michonne. How he rocked with her. How his hands clutched her.

Yeah, they are boning, he took a deep breath.

Then Rick began thinking about the unlikeliest person. The only person who possibly relate to having a wayward, angry, stupid teen.

He got out of bed carefully. He decided he needed to talk to Priyanka.

"Hey, Rick," Achilles yawned.

"I need to talk to Priya," Rick said.

"It's late, bruh. Can it wait? Just got my son down," Achilles said.

"I will be quiet and I won't be long," Rick said plowing past him.

"Sure, come on in," Achilles said sarcastically.

Rick found her in the kitchen. She was sitting there looking rather despondent while drinking a beer.

I didn't know she could express emotions. Damn, she's pretty even when sad, Rick thought.

Usually, he wouldn't have let himself have these thoughts about Priyanka but his suspicions about Michonne freed his conscience.

"Help yourself to a beer," Priyanka offered.

Rick turned to retrieve one and she couldn't help but notice how his pajama pants clung to his ass.

"You alright?" Rick asked after taking a long sip as he sat down.

"My seventeen year old hates me. So, I am living my second worst fear at the moment," she replied.

"What's your first?"

"Her being a teen mom like me."

"Funny you should mention that considering you all but laid them down. What you did was a crime."

"I know. I felt like I owed it to them. It was my fault they weren't together. Plus, I had selfish reasons. I knew you wouldn't arbitrarily throw away the mother of your grandbaby."

"So, you used your own child as leverage?" Rick said rolling his eyes.

"What parent doesn't? When couples divorce. Child support. When you want to curry sympathy or favor from other adults. Get time off work. Use children as an excuse to keep a shitty marriage together. Sounds familiar? So, don't stand there and judge me. Not you. I know too much about you."

Rick cleared his throat and took a seat.

"Fair enough. I have a question. Well, a statement then a question."

"What is it, mate? Don't keep me in suspense," she said.

"Our children are husband and wife and that makes us family. So, in the spirit of that, I need you to lend me your ear. There is no one else who can or is willing to understand what I am going through. My seventeen year old son, my baby boy is going to be a father of three no less by two different girls. He got married behind my back. His whole attitude is just stank now. He's grown up so fast these past five years. I wanted him to be a teen at least. Not go straight into manhood. I wanted more for him or least not this so soon. Not this fucking soon," Rick began to weep.

Priyanka knew exactly what he meant.

She got up and put her arms around him.

"You think it is your fault. You feel like maybe I should have gave another compliment or another punishment. You feel like maybe if I had raised him better or been there more, then he-"

"He would have turned out better. Exactly. Everyone tells me I should just accept this. And I do mostly. I am crazy about Carly-Jayne. She told me she loved me."

"She called me Grandma earlier. Oh, I cried. It gave me hope. Through telling her daughter to call me Grandma, she is acknowledging me as her mother. So, that's a step in the right direction. Right?"

"Or maybe she is displaying a sense of fair play."

"I thought you said were speaking in the spirit of family," she said still holding him. She liked the feel of him.

"You are right. That was rude. That's exactly what she was doing. And she doesn't hate you. She's just angry and confused. Things will work themselves out," Rick wanted this to be true for him and Carl as well.

"Since when? I know you have a tendency to lean towards the naïve but come on."

"Sorry if I am not as jaded as you. But, without hope. What is the point?"

"I suppose. And I am not jaded. I am half German," they both shared a laugh. She sat down.

"Seriously. How did you feel the first time you found out your baby had a baby?"

"I was properly gutted. Devastated."

"I like that. Gutted. I have been gutted many a time."

"Such is life. When she told me Carly-Jayne was hers. I," she began to weep.

Now Rick comforted her.

"I felt like the biggest failure that ever failed. There is no other way to describe it. My little one was repeatedly raped and had a child as a result."

Rick cringed as he always did upon hearing what happened to her. All he could remember was her at twelve and how she was even tinier and more defenseless than she was currently.

He never understood why an adult would want to violate a child or anyone for the matter.

Priyanka continued, "All I had to do was let Alice get in the car with Carl. She would have remained safe and cared for. She never would have had the need to run away."

Rick realized something.

"That's why Carl wondered off all the time especially in the early days. He was looking for her, too," this made Rick tear up again.

"I am not surprised. They do love each other. I always knew that. I thought by separating them I could prevent a teen pregnancy from happening. That is why I wanted to move her to LA. It wasn't just for her career but to put some distance between them."

"Did you catch them doing something?"

"I caught them snogging, like really snogging on more than one occasion. The last time being the day before we had to evacuate."

"Kissing, right?"

"Yes.

I could practically see the eventuality of his sperm hitting her egg. I didn't want to be a twenty or thirty-something year old grandma. Oh, well. Best laid plans."

"I wanted to be at least be fifty before Carl gave me a grandchild. He would be the age I was when he was born. I was ready. Sort of. I knew what I wanted out of life. Mostly. I had lived a little. Had fun."

"World was different then. Even more different than I was a child in the nineties. We had the opportunity to be children. Go to school, graduate. I always wanted to see her get her high school diploma. College. Get a couple Grammys. Win her first Oscar. My little girl was that good."

"She was. My aspirations for Carl weren't anything as grandiose as that. I would have settled for eighth grade graduation. See him off to prom. One milestone at a time."

"Debutant ball. I remember when Michonne had hers. I was visiting my daughter. She was so excited. Michonne, I mean. I had lent her my white satin Versace gown. She looked stunning. The contrast of her dark skin against the dress. Pretty girl."

"That's the first time I have ever heard you say anything nice about Michonne."

"Someone overheard her taking up for me in the church. So," she hunched.

Rick knew he probably shouldn't but since Priyanka had been so forthcoming, he decided he should be too.

"Exactly how long have you known Michonne?" Rick asked.

"Since I was thirteen and she ten."

"What was she like? Her brother, her cousin. Your daughter. What's your take on the Anthonys. You know them better than I."

"Quiet, reserved. Standoffish. Cool headed until you anger them by taking something from them then all bets are off. Ruthless. All Anthonys are scary intelligent. They are usually the smartest one in the room and will not hesitate to let you know it. They're charming, disarming. Curious. Like being in charge but they don't want to be braggarts about it. Selfish, stuck up. Funny. Patronizing. Violent. Suicidal. Strong. Weak. What Nimrod did was weak. I am still pissed at him. My father, too. They just left me. Anyway, they are honorable. Decisive, usually. Instigators. Loyal even when it doesn't suit them to be. Duplicitous. Basically, they are hypocritical assholes as well all are to some extent. Why? Trouble in paradise? Looking for a reason not to throw her ass off the watchtower."

"Something like that."

"You know all my business. Spill."

"This evening. I saw Carl be inappropriate with her. Too familiar. You know?"

"Oh, you mean his hideous crush? Yeah, I know."

"Who told you?"

"No one. I have a pair of eyes and a set of ears. The way he looks at her when he thinks no one is watching. What he said a couple days ago when you kicked him out the RV."

Rick nodded with his head and motioned with his hand for her to continue.

"He talked about how difficult you had made his life with my daughter and how he could've made your life with Michonne the same but didn't."

"What did he say exactly?"

"He said, I could have been a total shit about it. I could've cockblocked and not gave him my approval. But, I did. Despite how I felt on the inside about it.'

I found that an odd thing to say."

"He told me a couple months ago, the night you guys showed up actually that he was in love with her. And I should have chosen her instead of the last chick I dated."

"Jesse, right?"

"Yes. How do you possibly know that?"

"Your son and I kiki. I like Carl as a person. Always have. Reminds me of his mum. I was crazy about her."

"You two were queen bees in a pod," Rick said derisively.

"Lori told me you didn't like her. Was that so?"

"I loved her. You don't have to like somebody to love them."

"True but it helps."

"Why am I talking to you so freely? We were never close."

"We share a past. I am the only adult here that knows you from before. I know who you are in a way that no one else does. Same thing goes for me. You know me, Rick. The question is why don't we speak more?"

"You intimidate me," Rick admitted with a twinkle in his bright blue eyes. The beer was going straight to his head. It loosened his tongue.

"I intimidate you, Mr. Sheriff of Kings County? Leader, let's face it, king of Alexandria?"

"King. That sounds ridiculous. King Rick. Ugh. Only a delusional halfwit goes around calling themselves king."

"When you get too old or die, do you have designs for Carl to pick up your mantle? Takeover?"

"I do."

"A dynasty. So, he is your heir presumptive. A prince. There is no other way to look at it."

"Your daughter said something similar about a week ago."

"Where do you think she heard it? How do think a fifteen year old girl came up with the plan to take down a tyrant?"

"Not by herself," Rick replied.

"Exactly. My Alice, I call her by that name in my head. It's takes effort to call her Jagadamba.

Anyway, my child takes direction well. She's a people pleaser to certain extent. She can adapt to any situation. One of the reasons why she was such a good actress. Again. How do I intimidate you?"

"You own a mirror, right?"

She asked quizzically, "Yes?"

"You were, are the most beautiful woman I have seen in real life. That's why your daughter and granddaughter are so gorgeous, they basically look like you."

Priyanka blushed.

"Why, thank you, Mr. Grimes. I think Carl looks you more than not. That's why he is pretty. Even with the one eye. I thought Lori was a little mousy. Like a hot Olive Oyl. Carl is definitely not that. He has your intensity and his mom's personality."

"Well, thank you. He is intense. That is what worries me."

"Do you think something is going on between her and Carl? I do sense something clandestine about them. And he looks at her the same way he looks at my daughter- like he could eat her. He looks at no one else like that. Not even Enid."

"I hate how he treats her."

"Yeah, well. She lets him. And better her than my daughter. He's sweet with Alice. No one else makes her smile like does."

"I don't know."

"No, he does."

"l believe you. Carl and Michonne. I can't shake what I saw earlier. You're going to tell Jagadamba, aren't you?"

"No."

"Why not? I am thinking about telling her."

"You better not. She's pregnant. And she's been hurt enough. This would devastate her. Down to her core. Bad enough, she knows about me now. If there is something inappropriate going on between them, I can guarantee you she has already figured it out. That girl doesn't miss a beat. She just is not ready to deal yet. Let her come to you with it. If they are having an affair, it's and epic betrayal."

Defensive again, Rick replied, "You know a thing or two about those."

"Look, asshole, you came to my house to talk to me. Not my fault your whore girlfriend and idiot son are fucking. Don't take it out on me. Go confront that slag about her indiscriminate quim. I am not your problem."

Rick knew she had a point.

"You talked to Jagadamba?"

"I am not telling her shit."

"I understand that. Respect it even. But, if I confront Michonne. You got to let your daughter confront you. Or more accurately put yourself in a position where she can."

"How? She purposely never alone."

"She might be now. The kids are at my house. Carl and Jagadamba are alone. He wouldn't stand in your way. He would encourage her to speak to you. He's all about family. The hypocritical asshole."

"I have heard from Abraham that he always had a crush on her. He could see it. Why couldn't you?"

"I did. I just didn't know he was in love with her."

"You have always been a little oblivious to other people's feelings. Did it ever occur to you that dating her would hurt him? Break his heart?"

"Did it ever occur to you that giving your daughter away not once but twice may have broken her heart?"

"Touche, douchbag."

"We suck as parents. Don't we?" Rick lamented.

She said with outstretched arms, "A little."

"Thank goodness for younger children. May we not fuck them up as badly as the first ones," Rick said.

"Not to worry. We'll just ruin them in new and exciting ways," Priyanka said.

They shared a laugh.

They finished their beers got up to leave.

Achilles came downstairs.

"Priya, where you going?"

"To talk to her."

"It's almost two in the morning. She's not going to appreciate you waking her up."

"It'll be fine."

Achilles was too tired to care.

He hunched and turned to lie back down.

They were about to leave and he was almost upstairs when Dare began to cry.

"It's your turn, hotness. My black ass is going to sleep," Achilles said.

After Priyanka retrieved their son, they left.

Ten minutes passed.

Jagadamba woke up to knocking on the bedroom door.

She tried to rouse Carl to answer it. However, between the alcohol he drank and all the sex they just had, he was out like a light.

"Ugh. Fine," she grumbled.

She threw on one of Carl's shirts and answered the door.

It was Priyanka.

"I let meself in," she said making it a point to sound extra English. She knew Jagadamba always liked that.

She stepped outside the door.

"Give me my key," she said looking at her with disdain.

"No. What if there's an emergency? I will keep it."

"Fine. Whatever. What do you want, Priyanka? It is three in the morning. I just lied down."

"I wanted to thank you."

"For what? Avoiding you like Daryl does water? And Rick does reality? What?"

"You told Carly-Jayne to address me as grandma. You have no idea how much that meant to me. I didn't even realize how badly I needed to hear it. How many can say they were called grandma before they were called Momma?"

Rather pointedly, Jagadamba said, "Unlike you, some of us actually have tact and respect for others. Besides, I didn't do it for you. I did it for me. The more people she has to answer to, the better. She will be less prone to make terrible choices if she's afraid of disappointing more than just me and her papa.

Anyways, you had all day to tell me this. What do you really want?"

"I miss you, baby."

"And?" She wanted to say it back but refused.

"I know you get this hard act from me but its okay. You don't have to keep your wall up."

"It was up long before I found out I slipped out of you."

"It was a twenty five hour labor. Your father was my first. No need to be disrespectful."

"Me disrespectful? You tried to bury my son. Who rushes a child's funeral? And now armed with the knowledge that Mo was your grandson, double how could you? That really hurt me. That's how I know you hate me. If you loved me you could have never done that to me."

Priyanka wanted to explain to her that she felt like she had the right and she only wanted to help because she knew how painful the loss of a child was thanks to that year and some change that Jagadamba was missing.

Instead, she said, "I am sorry. I had no right. None."

"No, you didn't. That's a start. Thank you. First time, you apologized to me about anything really. Ever," Jagadamba said softening a little.

"Would you like a nosh? I could make some egg drop soup? I know it's the only way you can stand eggs."

"Something hot would be nice. Okay," Jagadamba smiled.

As they made their way to the kitchen, she saw her baby brother Dare in his carrier sound asleep. She rolled her eyes at him.

Twenty minutes passed.

Neither said much as she made the soup and even made wonton dough and fried them in strips to sprinkle on top.

"Do you like it? Is it too thick? I might got a little heavy handed with the cornflour?"

"I like it. It's perfect. You used just the whites. Thanks," she said.

Priyanka smiled coyly and said, "I couldn't help but notice how radiant you are. Not all that's baby either. You're afterglow-y."

Jagadamba blushed.

"Well. Let's say, I put him in a come coma and I see what you what you are doing here. You trying to put me at ease. Talk like we are friends. Very sneaky, sis. Not gonna work. You lost sex life detail privileges," she huffed.

"I always wanted us to have an open and honest relationship."

Jagadamba couldn't hide her contempt, "You are less self aware than poor white trash and gays that voted republican. Open and honest. If I didn't have proof you birthed me, bitch, I would throw this hot soup in your vapid face."

Priyanka folded her arms.

"I am more insulted by you calling me vapid than I am you calling me a bitch. Which I also really don't appreciate FYI."

"I don't appreciate being lied to for seventeen years. So, there's that."

"I am sorry. I-"

"Don't send your soul to Hell anymore than you already have on account of me."

Priyanka understood her oldest had every reason to be angry and hateful. However, her disrespect was standing to chafe.

Another stretch of silence.

In the midst of their silence, Dare began to wail.

Usually, it would have been a race to get the baby but Jagadamba stayed planted while her mother went and got him.

He went from being her sweet little nephew she helped deliver to her snot nosed brat little brother she couldn't stand. The competition. The one who got kept.

Priyanka was shocked to see Carl awake and holding the baby.

"I woke up when I realized my wife wasn't there. I missed her. So. I came down here to find her and saw little man was awake. He looked right at me and smiled. He is too pretty of a baby to ignore. I swear if I didn't know any better I would think he was a girl. He looks so much like you, Priya.

Anyway, I was telling him how he was going to be a good uncle and he just started to wail."

"Doesn't want the competition. Give him here," she reached for her son.

Carl handed him over.

"Oh, little my little Dare bear. It's okay," he quit crying.

"My Mom used to call me her blue eyed boy or her sunshine. What did you call Jagadamba?" Carl asked seeing his wife crack the door open to listen better.

"Alley-cat. Cause you know, her real name is Alice. She hated it when I called her that. So, I stopped."

"I remember you called her that.

I think Alice suits her. It's classy. Sounds smart. It rolls off the tongue. But, knowing her she probably thinks it sounds old-fashioned. I like old-fashioned-"

Jagadamba entered and chimed, "Of course you do, Carl. Alice and Carl sound like they ought next door to Ozzie and Harriet or Al and Peggy. Jagadamba and Carl sound like-"

"One them needs a green card," Priyanka joked.

Carl laughed and his wife rolled her eyes at him. He stopped laughing.

"We're going back to bed. See yourself out," Jagadamba said turning to walk away grabbing Carl by the hand dragging him behind her.

"Babe, talk to her," he said softly.

"No. I tried."

"You didn't. You called her a vapid bitch."

"You were listening?"

"Duh. Dare told on me. Little snitch."

"It's the middle of the night. Who does this?"

"Someone who wants to have a relationship with you. You have every reason to be angry."

"Gee, you think?"

"Seriously, talk to her."

"It won't change anything."

"You are the bravest woman I know. You survived captivity and childbirth. What's this?"

"Escape isn't an option. She is fifty percent of me. I got her mitochondria. Just like got your mom's. Mitochondria is the thing that makes us live. Powerhouse of the cells, remember?"

"I do. And you're that, too. Carly-Jayne, Mohinder, Jeanette and Carla," Carl said touching her belly.

"What the hell did my babies ever do you? And besides, I told Abraham that we would named our youngest twin out Tallulah Jean after his baby girl, if they're girls."

"You better be glad I think Tallulah Jean is an awesome name or I would be insulted. Don't I get a say?"

"Maybe if you can come up with something better than Jeanette or Carla. Carly-Jayne is the only junior you get. She's not your blood and that is going to be stigma enough. I have thought about it. Our babies are going to be brunettes with your blue eyes. Your face hopefully and my coloring. While C.J. will remain all dark-eyed, blonde and white looking.

They are not going to look like sisters. I can't let you take that from her. Her first name proves she's yours. Gives her a certain amount of legitimacy despite the different last name."

"Honey, I was kidding. She is my junior and I couldn't ask for a better one.

And way to get off topic. Just hear what Priyanka has to say. Ask her questions. The hard ones."

"Tomorrow. I am tired. I can't deal with her right now. I don't want to spend the rest of the night pissed. You shouldn't want me to either."

"Baby, you know I don't."

"So, get rid of her. I will talk to her or let her talk to me tomorrow. Or later today rather."

"Are you sure? Tomorrow might not come. Now is good."

"Overdramatic, much? Trust me I know that better than you ever will. Later," she went upstairs.

He remained on the steps for a moment shaking his head at her.

Priyanka came up behind him and sighed.

"You tried," she said touching his shoulder.

"I get it. She's mad and hurt. But, fact still remains, she's not an orphan like she thought. I am not saying what you did was right but I think I get it.

I just think she would be a lot happier if she forgave you. I want her to be happy. And my reasons are a little bit selfish."

"How?"

"I want a mom just like she wants a dad. Together we are a whole family. You know?" He restrained from crying.

Priyanka smiled and replied, "I'll be your mom if you will be my son."

"Deal."

He opened his arms to hug her.

"I love you. I always have," Priyanka said touching his face.

He nuzzled his face into the touch and said, "I love you, too."

Jagadamba heard.

She came bounding downstairs to them embracing.

She wanted to tell Priyanka she loved her and that she forgave her.

Like a teething toddler, her emotions were itching to get out.

Right there on the tip of her tongue but couldn't bring herself to do it.

Instead, she ran back upstairs in tears.

Carl followed her. He turned around briefly and saw the same hesitation in Priyanka. She left.

Carl thought, They are the same person.

When she went back to her house, she was surprised to see Rick on the front porch. He was sitting in the swing.

She said, "I will be back. I gotta get him out of this night air."

She returned some ten minutes later.

Upon view, Rick said, "I liberated some whiskey from your cupboard. I expected when you emerged you would want something stronger than beer. How did it go?"

"Not as bad as I expected and not as good as I had hoped."

"Here you had me thinking you were above having hope," Rick gently teased.

"I guess yours is infectious."

"Did Carl encourage it?"

"Yes. But, she wasn't having it. Said she we would talk more later."

"She is a little coldhearted."

"Who can blame her? I taught her how to be."

"Jayne was like that, too. And Michonne has the capacity. She gets being a hard ass honestly."

"Michonne. Hmmph. I knew when she was a child- a scrawny, four-eyed little cute chocolate drop.

I knew even then that she had dirty bitch potential. I am sorry."

"What if I am wrong? What if I am just being paranoid?"

"Maybe but I doubt it. Carl is complicated. He has a lot of love to give and doesn't have a real clue to give it to. He must be confused. Dreadfully so. It must suck to be him."

"To have a gorgeous wife, a girlfriend and probably my girlfriend. My heart bleeds for him," Rick said sarcastically.

He continued, "Even before the apocalypse, most men would have given their right nut to be him right now."

"That boy of yours- he has your heart. He is a sweet boy at his core. Understanding, kind, compassionate. I confuse those things with naivete but I shouldn't. I am a bad person."

"Nah. You are an obedient daughter just like yours is. You obeyed Jayne and Bushrod until you couldn't.

I was sitting here thinking; I put myself in your shoes. I can't imagine the steel you had to have had in your spine and how you had to sangfroid yourself to not physically become ill every time you had to endure your daughter calling someone else Momma. And you by your given name.

If no one else remembers I do. You raised your daughter. Hell, you potty trained her, Carl, too. He would only listen to you. Taught her ABCs, numbers. Tying her shoes. It was your idea to get her into acting do she quit being so painfully fucking shy."

Feeling validated, she said, "Yes. Yes. No one ever considers any of that."

"Well, apparently, I do. I always assumed you were an excellent older sister, I didn't know you weren't actually being a good mother."

Priyanka wept.

Just be acknowledged as a human being and not some evil creature heartened her.

Rick got up and wrapped his arms around her.

He whispered in her ear, "Let's go for a walk."

They walked and talked for about thirty minutes straight before taking a seat on the pier.

During this time, they had also been passing the whiskey back and forward drinking it straight out the bottle.

". . . What's the worst thing you ever done before the apocalypse?" Rick asked.

"Let's see. That's easy. My high school guidance counselor slash gym coach."

"How old were you? How old was he?"

"I was sixteen when it got physical. I had graduated by then. He knew all about my pregnancy and my daughter. I talked to him on a regular basis even when I was in California and across the pond.

One day, I went to go visit him. He invited me out to lunch and it escalated from there.

He told me he wanted to take care of me and her. Told me he had always been in love with me since I was fourteen. He was young. About fifteen years older than me."

"Young? He was an old man. Sick, manipulative asshole. And what he did to you was no less than statutory rape. I knew you at the time. If I had known about that predator, I would have busted his ass."

"And I would have hated your ass forever. I loved him. But, you are right. I realized as I got older, he was a total R. Kelly. So, hot though. Nick, not R. Kelly. I always thought he was gross."

"Nick what?"

"Egan. He had big eyes. Tight, little body. Kinda like you."

Rick blushed.

"What happened? What broke you up?"

"His wife got cancer everywhere and he dumped me. We were together nine years. I was twenty-five. I was devastated. I mean, he wasn't my only bf but he was the most important one. But, I was willing to have him be my only. I think he wanted that with me. Maybe I am silly. But, he was actually in the process of getting a visa to visit me in England. I was in the States helping him. I was going to take her away then and the three of us were going to live there until it was time for her to return to the set. We were going to be a family."

"They always promise to leave their wives. I am sorry."

"But, he was. He really was."

"He was the one in the wrong. Not you."

"I handled well. By then I was accustomed to pushing down disappointments. I am used to losing.

His wife however found out about us. She didn't handle it well. She called and harassed me for a couple months. Nick could have stopped it but I think he enjoyed the attention.

All the while, he was still sleeping with me. I loved him. I couldn't get enough of him. I found myself pregnant. I told him. I knew how badly he wanted a child. Neither one of them were that fertile. He told me my timing was horrible. That he was committed to her and I was interfering with her getting better.

Then his wife called me back. She was out of her mind angry. Called me all kinds of hoes and bitches. Told me she hoped my baby died and she hung up. Still, I wasn't angry. I took in stride.

I tried to call Nick. His number had been changed that quickly.

I cried and cried. I would have went over there but last thing I needed to do was land in jail. I fell asleep.

I woke up in so much pain. All I saw was blood. I miscarried."

"Lori had four of those before we had Carl."

"I was fifteen weeks. I was starting to show. I really wanted that baby.

Later, I cleaned myself up. I waited a couple days and I went down to the school. I found out he had me banned from the school. Last fucking straw. So, I rented a car and I followed them for a week. I waited until nightfall. He liked shortcuts so I knew he would be on a side street.

So. I ran them off the road into a ditch. The car landed upside down. I got out. I thought I would be happy to see them suffer. I wasn't. I saw him bleeding and my mind went to our baby I lost. I couldn't murder him. This man put a life in me. I called 911 and fled the scene. That's the worst thing I ever done b.a. Before apocalypse," she delivered that story so a matter of factly, that if Rick didn't know better he would have thought she was talking about someone else.

"I admit what you did was fucked up. But, you were driven to that point. That motherfucker betrayed the fuck out of you."

Priyanka scoffed.

"You have no idea. Nick was not some random. He made me feel good about myself. Dealing with my mom did the opposite. I thought he was a soft place to fall.

She would rub it in my face how I signed my rights away. About how she was doing me a favor and I should be more grateful."

"I knew Jayne was a bitch but I didn't know she was a bitch. I am sorry."

"Enough about me. Tell me what's the worst thing you have done."

"When Shane and I were rookies, we caught one of our commanders on the take and we said nothing. Old timer was due for retirement and we didn't want to ruin his pension."

Priyanka scoffed.

"That's it? You cut an old man a break? You were the youngest sheriff I have heard of. You must done something underhanded to get there."

"One thing. I framed a guilty man once. He was a drug dealer. He was known for cutting his cocaine with Comet or, uh, drywall. He was purposefully making poison more poisonous. I acquired the drugs and Shane got an informant to plan it.

Thing is, the cruel bastard was a young, single father of six. His mother kept his children. He was a good son and father. I found that out later.

Once in prison, he was murdered for mouthing off to the wrong one. I knew I had put him there. He was only twenty-five. I would help the family out. Mother always talked about what a comfort the children were.

I have been thinking about her a lot lately.

Maybe it's a good thing my son is having all these children now. Because sometimes he is so hardheaded. He hates listening to me. I fear one of these days that he will not heed my voice and it's going to cost him his life or the life of someone he loves. Either way I am going to lose him. Cause let's say the unsayable and Jagadamba dies because something he failed to do. Carl is going right behind her. I know him. I know if I can get him to twenty, twenty-one, he'll have a long life.

That's my greatest fear is physically losing him. I don't want him to die on me. If he did, I would survive it but every breath would be a struggle. But, I would have his children. He wouldn't be completely lost to me. At least that is how I would hope to feel that about them. Or maybe they would be little reminders of how he was gone. You know?"

"If this is what you think about, no wonder you don't sleep. But, I get it. After I met my grandbaby, it took me months to quit seeing her as a breathing assault against my child.

And much to my shame, I still do from time to time. Especially when she has a tantrum or gets mouthy."

"I totally get that. Like you know Judith isn't mine. It took me a minute to warm up to her. I admit in a lot of ways, Carl is more her dad than me. He took care of her in a way that simply went beyond brother."

"Lori would have been proud. You ever tell Carl any of that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I am not the most expressive guy. Plus, he knows how I feel about him."

"I can't judge you too harshly. Tonight was the first time I ever apologized to her about anything. My family wasn't big on apologizing. Especially to children. Neither side."

"Mine either."

A moment of silence passed.

Rick resumed.

"Anyway, about Judith, it took me thinking she was dead to realize and really separate her from Shane's betrayal. She's just an innocent child. My wife's orphan and she needed me.

Going back to your daughter, I sometimes wonder how can she even stand to look at Carly-Jayne? Let alone love her. She must tell herself something similar."

"I asked Alice that same question. She gave me the most brilliant answer.

'God have her to me to let me know that no matter how horrible a situation may seem, something good can come from it. God does not give you anything you can't handle. It is my job as her mom to make sure what happened to me never happens to her. And Priya, she is such good thing.'

You think I got steel, shit, she's the fucking Terminator. From that point forward I saw her as a woman to a certain extent. A part of me will always see her as that baby I pulled out of me."

Impressed, Rick said, "You got to explain. Where were the doctors?"

"My first labor happened very quickly all things considered.

I was alone except for Siddiq. He was there holding my hand.

The doctor said I had a ways to go. I was seven centimeters dilated. As soon as that judgmental bitch left, I absolutely felt my cervix open up. Worst pain, I have ever felt until that morning I woke up and realized she had ran away.

Goddamn, I can still feel it. Anyway, I began to push and her head and the top of her shoulders came right out.

So, I kept pushing and she was stuck.

Siddiq wanted to go get the doctor but I wanted to do it myself.

So I took both my pointing fingers and I slipped them under her arms and I bared down as I pulled.

Low and behold, there she was. Head full of black hair and she was covered in well, me. Sweet, little angel face. She did not cry. She looked annoyed. And I just smiled and laughed and wailed. I pulled my gown down and held her little body against mine. I wanted her so badly. I didn't know I could love someone so quickly. So much. I didn't want to give her away."

"I did something similar when Carl was born. I took my shirt off and pressed him against my chest. I wanted to be his first human contact.

That rush of love, there is nothing like it. Nothing like it."

"You know what makes me sadder than anything about our children?" She asked.

Simpatico with Priyanka at the moment, he replied, "They have no idea how much we truly and deeply love them."

Priyanka scoffed.

"Of course they do. That's what makes me sad. Why else do you think they go out their way to be such little shits? They know.

I never knew. Other than my teen pregnancy, I didn't give my mum much trouble. She was always so cold and clinical. Cruel to me. I can count the times she hugged me.

My dad was different. He spoiled and indulged me or so I thought. In hindsight, his kindness towards me was just him being passive aggressive to me mum.

I can't say enough that she was always, always so cruel or indifferent to me. I was scared of her. Not physically scared but of disappointing her. Having my daughter was the first time I ever stood up to her.

Our children may be a lot of things but they are not afraid of us."

"Of losing us. I think they are afraid of that."

"If we're lucky. At the moment, I don't think mine would particularly care."

"Don't be so dour. She'll come around, Priyanka," Rick reassured.

They talked for another hour.

". . . It is so late. We ought to at least try to get a couple hours of sleep in," Priyanka said yawning.

"I am wired," he said stretching.

"I remember you were always a bit of an insomniac. Lori hated that."

"Know what Lori didn't hate?"

"What?"

"Shane's dick."

"Rick. You naughty boy."

Rick felt a combo of frisky and manful when he replied, "Well, it's true. I am naughty damnit. I always wanted to do this."

He leaned over and gently kissed Priyanka. She gladly kissed him back.

It morphed into a wet, sloppy spit streaming passionate kiss.

After five minutes, they separated.

"Whoa. That was a nice way to end the day," Priyanka purred.

"I can think of an even nicer way. Got thirty minutes?" Rick flirted.

She inquired,"What you got in mind, playa?"

Rick fueled by the alcohol and the knowledge his girlfriend and son were more than likely fucking, he wanted to do something wrong for all the right reasons.

"This. I wanted to do this since the first time we met fifteen years ago," Rick kissed her again. Pushing her down this time.

Soon, he was on top of her. Quickly after that, he asked between kisses, "Are you able? You just had a baby."

"Yeah."

" Good," he said pulling up her nightgown and tugging her panties aside while she tugged at pajama pants.

No later than that, they were going at it in plain view of anyone who dares look that way.

Luckily for them, there was no one save Gabriel and Boyardee with him, who spotted them from the watchtower but who the hell was they going to tell?

After twelve minutes, he came harder than he had in a while.

"Did you orgasm? I am more than willing to suck your pussy."

"I did. But, I will take a raincheck on the latter."

"Cool by me.

Priya," he said softly.

"Rick," she said just as softly.

"We should have done this years ago. Why didn't we?" Rick asked gripping her hand.

"We didn't need the comfort," she replied.

He kissed her hand.

"I was wrong about you," Rick said.

"And I you. Homies?"

"Homies," they shook on it.

"We got babies in common. Our houses have no need to be divided. We got to be in this together," Priyanka said.

"I agree. We got to keep them alive."

Soon they went their respective houses.

Rick washed up real quick and brushed his teeth. He then ate something to hide the mint. He did not want to raise suspicion.

Rick was surprised to see Michonne awake in bed alone.

"Where were you?" Michonne asked coquettishly.

"I went to talk to Priya."

Michonne sat up revealing her bare breasts and asked, "Why?"

"Why not? I mean, she's family," Rick said.

"Since when?" She asked.

"Since my son impregnated her daughter then married her."

Michonne fought the urge to be insulted by his tone and asked, "What did y'all talk about?"

"Our children. How they hurt us. How they need us whether they want to admit it or not. We even talked about you."

"Really?"

"How you borrowed her white Versace gown and how beautiful you looked."

"That was a good night. She even did my hair and makeup for me. Sometimes, I forget she isn't so bad. I will play nice since the two of you are besties now."

"I wouldn't go that far. We have an understanding now. Where are the children?"

"Carl came by and got them. Judith included."

"He came alone?" Rick asked concerned.

"Yes. He said Jag was too distraught to come herself. She talked to your new best friend apparently. Made her sad. She wanted baby love to cheer her up."

"I hate to hear that. But, she brought it on herself. Her mother wanted to talk to. She sent her packing."

"It is what it is. She wanted her babies, so I unassed them.

Though, I think Tommie stayed behind. I think she has a crush."

"On Carl?"

"Maybe. But, definitely you. Who can blame her? Curly hair, bright blue eyes, full pink lips. Ya smell so good. Tight, little ass, bow legged. But, most of all, you are good, kind, gentle, fair and loving man.

You and me and her watched Twin Peaks together because it was her thing. You did that because you knew it would make her happy.

That's the type of man you are. Come here," she threw the cover off revealing herself to him.

Rick thought, This must be what my son feels like. I have never had two beautiful women want me in one night. A black woman and a half Indian woman with an English accent. Hell, yeah. My grandpa is rolling in his grave.

Rick undressed and soon was making love a second time in so many hours. Shit, he was impressed with his own self that he get a proud, extra stiff hard on again so quickly at his age.

After they were done, she snuggled Rick and drifted back to sleep.

It was five on the morning now.

Rick remained awake and plagued by his thoughts once again. The alcohol had long wore off.

Today is going to be a shit day. I can tell, Rick thought as he sighed.

He had made up in his mind that he was going to confront Michonne and get an answer one way or another.

If he gleaned one thing from talking to Priyanka it was living a lie makes you bitter and poisonous.

Seven hours later, he was surprised to see Miss Richter with Dare in tow.

"Priyanka, you may want to sit this one out. It could be dangerous," Rick said touching her shoulder.

"So, could his cough. And I want his ears checked out. Just to be safe," she said kissing his little forehead.

Rick grabbed his little hand and smiled.

"Such a beautiful boy. He's so alert. Hop on. Let me watch him later? I love babies."

Priyanka nodded.

Over the next seven hours, they were herded and psychologically terrorized by the Saviors.

Priyanka's mind raced as she, Dare, Sasha, Tomeka and Rosita followed with weapons drawn behind Carl, Aaron, Abraham and Rick who carried an infirm Maggie on the mattress they used as a stretcher as Eugene played hero and drove the RV solo.

After twenty minutes, Priyanka jogged along side Rick and said, "You know they are toying with us. There's no way in Hell, they aren't hot on our heels."

"Maybe. We have to try anyway. Maggie's too important. She's family," Rick said.

Not mine, Priyanka thought.

Soon, the whistling began.

Oh, fuck me, Priyanka thought right before the spotlights clicked on.

Exposed, Rick stopped right in their tracks.

In that horrible instant, Rick never recalled feeling quite so powerless. Priyanka however had when she signed her parental rights away.

More time passed.

The RV door flung open.

Negan- Nick Egan

Negan had been inside psyching himself up. He regarded his brand of terrorism as a bit of theater. It was a remnant of his administrator days. He was a guidance counselor doubled as the girls' soccer coach.

"All right, Nick. You got this. These fuckwads have went entirely too far and stayed way to goddamn long," he turned his attention to sweet but deadly Lucille.

"Rick the prick and his gaggle of assholes killed fifty-five of our men. Good soldiers, invaluable workers. People we can't not easily be replaced. I can't abide," he said aloud almost obscenely rubbing circles into the grip of the bat.

Negan got up and jumped up and down to abolish any remaining nerves he may have had.

You can't establish a fear with a case of the jitters. You have won. You got this, he cracked his neck and kissed Lucille and opened the door.

"Well, well, well . . ." Negan went on for about ten minutes. Going up and down the line-up as he did so.

Priyanka recognized his voice before she saw his face.

She let her hair down as to hide her face. She didn't not want him to see her.

To her horror, his attention turned to Tomeka.

"Kid, how old are you? Ten?" Negan asked.

"Twelve," she scoffed.

Turning to his men, Negan said, "Fuckers, what did I tell you guys about children? This is a child. She doesn't need to see this shit.

Kid, what's your name?"

Tomeka didn't want to say at first but she figured it was best not to piss off the bear.

"Tomeka, sir," she replied.

"Sir? Well, hot damn. Somebody raised you right. Nothing worse than an ill-mannered brat. Sir. Little lady, I want you to get up and go wait in the RV and don't come out until nice uncle Negan tells you to."

No sooner than Tomeka got up, Dare began to wail.

With a gun pointing at her head, Priyanka knew she that was her son's bored cry not hungry or wet cry. Besides, she knew he would not stand for a child being hurt.

Negan sighed and again addressed his men.

"Why didn't any of you assholes tell me there is a baby? Rick, why didn't you kill these feckless fucktwats? You would've been doing me a favor. Shit, I might've even threw you a parade.

Who the fuck does this baby belong to?"

Rick said nothing while rolling his eyes defiantly.

"I am going to ask you one last time whose baby that is or that one is losing a thumb," he said pointing at Carl.

He figured he was Rick's son because he could see the resemblance and how he kept looking down at him.

Priyanka was sitting beside her son in law. She threw her hair back and said, "The boy is mine."

Negan realized it was Priyanka straight away.

He motioned for Arat, who had the baby to come near.

He told Priyanka to stand. She did.

"Well, fuuuuuck me. Richter, you are sight for sore eyes. I was just thinking about you earlier. Look at you. As hot as ever. Aww, fuck it. You all have waited this long. Why not a little bit longer?

So, what's his name?"

"Dare. As in Virginia Dare."

"Born into the new world. You look great. You can't even tell you were knocked up.

How's your sister? Still with us I hope?"

"Yes. I am a grandma," she quickly regretted the admission but a part of her was glad to see him.

"No shit? She likes dick. She takes after you."

Priyanka cringed when he said that but she knew this wasn't he proper moment to set him straight.

"Well, take your son, he's precious by the way and board the RV. After Lucille and I teach these thundercunts what happens when assholes take what's mine, we need to catch up."

Arat handed her her son.

Priyanka was about to obey but figured she had to tie a loose end.

Looking down at Carl, she asked Negan, "The young man, can he come too?"

"You just said it. He's a man. He stays. Besides, you're Rick's, aren't you, future serial killer?" Negan put Lucille right in his face.

The young man didn't flinch.

"Damn straight," he said rearing up at him with pride. He and Rick had their differences and a bush of barrel of problems but at the end of the day he was still proud to carry the name Grimes especially since it wasn't just theirs anymore.

"Come on, kid. Cry or something. What's wrong with you? Yeah, serial killer."

"Listen, this boy is just as much my son as my baby is. He had nothing to do with the bullshit that happened at your outpost. That was fucked. Neither did my people, the Pharaohs. We arrived in Alexandria while they were gone. He was the one who let us in. Please, let him come with me. Please. I have known him since he was two. He is a good boy," she wanted to call Negan by his true name and out him but she resisted.

She knew this would be considered disrespectful and last thing she wanted was to make a bad situation escalate because she emasculated him.

Negan figured out quickly that Carl was her son in law or something close to it for her to claim him so vehemently.

"Baby girl, you just simultaneously sold them out and took up for Donny Darko. You're such a Loki. I have always dug that about you. But, he stays. He has to see what happens when you fuck with what's mine. One of you fuckers is going to get the ever loving shit beat out of you.

But, you darling, you get to go to the RV. Sit this shit out."

At that point, Priyanka made a decision. She motioned for Tomeka. She handed her Dare and got back down on her knees.

"If he stays, I stay. He is the first child of mine to ever called me Mom. I ain't leaving him," Priyanka said literally the most sincere she had been in her whole life.

Negan was impressed by this but he knew he couldn't let it stand.

He understood that he basically encouraged his people to be wild animals out for blood. Last thing, he needed to do was appear weak, especially to a woman.

So, he said, "Priyanka Richter, I got to give you credit. You are almost as much woman as my Lucille. You have always had huge beach ball lady nuts," he whispered in her ear, "I know it was you that night. I saw you walk away." His face looked stern when he pulled from her. It frightened her.

Negan continued, "Nobody else here has the testicular fortitude to even address me the way you just have.

That said, Gavin, Simon, grab her well shaped ass and Arat get the baby from the girl. Take her and the boy to my vehicle. Tomeka, is it? Go to the camper."

Priyanka protested and tried to break away.

Soon her voice faded into the background as Negan threatened Maggie and Glenn reacted.

" . . . No more outbursts. I will shut that shit down. . ." After Priyanka no one else was allowed to speak out of turn.

An hour passed. They sat there horrified, angry and oddly enough humiliated as they observed the headless corpses of Abraham then Glenn. Negan was still working on Glenn whose body was still twitching. He wanted to live so badly.

Carl- I Hope They Know

Carl was so angry and hurt, he was shaking. He had looked forward to going through first time fatherhood together with him. Raising their children together.

More than that, he felt guilty about Priyanka. If Negan didn't give her back, which he doubted he would since they blatantly had a past- how the fuck was he supposed to explain this to his wife?

More than that, he wondered how she was holding up. He hoped she was being strong and not panicking.

He knew her enough to know that right now, she was the voice of reason. The calm one. If everyone else was having a shit fit, she would be the one saying it was going to be okay.

That is if they returned that night. He knew that was unlikely.

Now, when she woke up and they still weren't there, that was going to be a different story. He remembered how she was when her parents had showed up yet before they had to evacuate. She fucking lost it. Onliest thing that calmed her down was Priyanka.

Carl began to weep for his wife, Enid, for Carly-Jayne, for Judith, Ana and Marco- what if these were his last moments? Did they know how much he loved them? How his life was pointless before they came into it?

He hoped they did but most everyone he spoke of was too young to know.

Under his breath, Carl pleaded with God, "Please let me live. I have a wife and an exe and three babies in between them that I need to meet. I have my four year old and my three fosters. My sister needs me. My Dad needs me. Michonne needs me. God, please protect my Dad and Michonne. Please protect Michonne. And Jagadamba and Enid and my children and my sister. I can't say that enough.

Even Achilles, Bigelow and Boyardee, too. They are good people. And protect Daryl. He was taking up for my Dad he wasn't trying to get Glenn killed. And finally protect my mom, Priyanka and my kid brother, Dare. She may not be an innocent but he is. Just protect them. Protect everyone I love in Jesus's name, Amen."

Enid and Jagadamba- You Need a Sister

Seven hours earlier.

Jagadamba awoke from her nap feeling content with her life. She felt downright happy. She should have known then that it would be all downhill from there.

Upon leaving her bedroom, she discovered her home was quiet. Too quiet. Vacated.

First agenda, find her kids.

Jagadamba automatically went next door. The front door was ajar.

The sound of children screeching in play was the first thing she heard.

"Hey, Momma," Carly-Jayne ran and hugged her mother.

"Where's your Papa?" She asked sensing something was amiss.

Achilles overheard and replied, "He left. So, did your mother and brother," he said wanting to see her reaction.

She looked alarmed for a moment but played it cool.

"Don't call them that. Is something wrong with the baby?"

"Don't you realize I would be gone, too if there was? No. She needed a change of scenery. You hurt her feelings a lot."

"Feeling. She only has the one."

"This is a lot. I know."

"You don't. Your parents were actually your parents. Where is everyone else? You know what? I am taking my children and go ask Tommie. If anyone knows she does."

"Good luck with that. She went, too."

Exasperated, she asked, "What the f-u-c-k is going on? All I did was take a nap."

Achilles explained to her what was happening.

"Poor Maggie. I hope the baby makes it. As for rest of them, why leave? Why take the risk? Why would Michonne and Glenn do something so stupid? Same thing goes for Carol, Rosita and Daryl. Why did Tommie go again?"

"Her crush on Rick," Achilles said.

"You noticed, too?"

"Have to be Rick not to. I swear that man is captain oblivious."

"I don't know. I think you have that wrong. If anything he notices too much. Plays it close to the vest," Jagadamba said.

Achilles scoffed, "Jagadamba, don't overidentify. He isn't you. No one could ever be you," he smiled.

Despite herself, she returned the same smile.

"Mind keeping the children for me? I have to go investigate."

Achilles motioned for the kiddies to come on back.

They had no fear of him and did so readily.

"I love you, big brother," Jagadamba said sweetly.

Touched, he replied, "I love you, too baby sister."

"If you see Priya before I do when she returns tell her that I am ready to talk. Really talk."

He agreed and she left.

She could feel the fear in the air. It was tangible.

She spotted Bigelow on the guard tower.

She was halfway up the stairs when Bigelow met her and said, "You are not allowed up here."

"Allowed? Next thing you're going to tell me is to surrender my shoes and go wait in the kitchen while the menfolk talk."

Bigelow shook his head then said, "Your pappy in law put me, you and Gabriel in charge. The general consensus is we are about to be under siege. And if so, ipso facto that makes you the most important person here. Well, you, Enid and the children. Judith and Carly-Jayne especially. If the unthinkable happens. You're the last official Grimes alive."

"Fuck you and that noise. They're coming back," she jabbed him his chest with her bony pointing finger to punctuate each word.

"Those were Rick's words. Don't shoot the messenger. You're the MVP. Enid, too," he said.

"The babies. Goddamn. Why does Maggie's womb have such bad timing? Baby Rhee is already a histrionic attention seeker."

"Don't you think it is a little unwise to make fun of her in your condition?"

"I am not. That baby is not going anywhere. Plus, she was nasty to me this morning," she said.

"She's probably just upset with you about Enid."

"Are you?" She asked sensing something was off in their relationship.

"You slept with my girlfriend before I did. I still haven't. So what do you think?" Bigelow scoffed.

" You talked my idiot father in law into leaving me behind after I had been brutally accosted and sexually assaulted. So, we're even."

"Fair enough. You seen Enid? I know she didn't leave with them. Have you seen her?"

"No. Carl told me she used to run off a lot. Maybe she did this time."

"I doubt it. She would never risk the baby. She's here."

"Okay. I will look out. I will get her to walkie you when I find her."

"Thanks. In the meantime, would you mind doing inventory and then hide the ledger. Just in case they invade. They don't need to know exactly what we have."

Jagadamba agreed.

As she walked away, he yelled, "We will always do the original plan. Take their shit and go back to Richmond."

Jagadamba stopped and turned around.

"You know that quit being an option when-"

"When you discovered your future babydaddy and auntie were here."

"Not just that, smart ass. But, I am not going anywhere without them, Tommie, my brother and my . . . mother."

"I am still flabbergasted but not really. It explains a lot. It explains the liberties she took with you. Why she always demanded your respect. Same nose, lips, cheekbones. You are the same, exact irritating. You-"

"I get it. We're related. I gotta go."

She went to the storeroom and immediately noticed the chair against the door. Not knowing who it was or why she did not remove it.

She pulled her gun out and announced, "Whoever you are in there, I have a weapon and lots of people with me. We will not hesitate to fuck up your shit," Jagadamba bullshitted.

Enid groaned as she woke up. The last person she wanted to hear from was her.

"It's me, betrayer," Enid grunted sitting up in the dark.

"I deserve that," Jagadamba said.

"I am glad you think so, she-Carl. Because you both think I need your permission to feel my feelings. Let me out," she demanded.

Jagadamba was about to but then she thought better of it.

"E, you and I really need to talk."

"No, we do not. I have nothing to say to you. Open this fucking door, you cunt."

"You and me, we need to cope with it but we are family now. Our babies are siblings. They have to be apart of each other."

"Well, we have some time to go before that matters. Neither of us are even showing yet."

"Speak for yourself," Jagadamba scoffed rubbing her slightly protruding belly.

"This is like your gazillionth pregnancy. I have been reading up on it. You are supposed to show quicker than me."

"My sixth. And don't be an asshole about it."

"I forgot. Only you and Carl are allowed asshole privileges. Rick, too. And Michonne, too. Must be a Grimes thing. Dirty is right there in the name. You Grimeses make things worse."

"Last name is Savage for a reason, huh? You bark and bark and to what end? You end up doing what is expected of you anyway.

Now, I am not letting you out until we come to an accord. A parley if you will."

"You have watched the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy with Carly-Jayne too many times."

"That is what happens when you have a kid as you will soon find out.

All bullshit aside, Enid, I want you to be apart of my life."

"You know what. Fuck you. I am not putting up with this. Let me out!"

"No. I need you. Enid, please. We got. We got to make up. You are one of my only friends."

"Really? Friends don't do what you did. You pretended to like me. I was stupid enough to think we were cool. I am so as ashamed.

You used me as a tool to keep tabs on him. You even had sex with me to keep him. Oh, my God, Lady Dumb Name. You are sort of pathetic," Enid laughed scornfully.

Jagadamba kicked the door hard enough to dent it. This was one of her berserker buttons.

It brought out every ounce of her mean girl cruelty. It brought out her inner Priyanka.

"I can guarantee you that I am not the pathetic one. I am the wife. Remember? I have power. I have a say. I was being polite before when I said we were family. You are just a vessel. A container. That baby is important. Not you.

You were just a placeholder. He was waiting for me all along. He was mine first.

He chose me that first night. He wanted to dispose of you. I pitied you. Made him throw you a bone. Literally and figuratively. So, if you want to be nasty, I can out nasty you, bitch. I am Black, Indian, German and English- I am the definition of a stiff upper lip. You can't hurt me."

Enid knew categorically she could Hiroshima Jagadamba's whole world by simply telling her the truth about her precious Carl and blessed Michonne's illicit relationship. She knew that Jagadamba held both of them up on a really high pedestal.

Enid considered this. Imagined what it would feel like to divulge the world shattering info.

And just like that, the damn near saintly Miss Savage took a deep breath and confessed, "I loved you way before I did Carl. Since I was six years old when I watched you in The Polka Dot Princess. You were magical in that movie. Barely older than Carly-Jayne. You were a figure of hope for me. That's ten years of my life.

When I was sick with leukemia, Mia Self and Ida and your music, kept me going. You are going to pretend like you don't remember-"

"You called yourself Grace then. I stayed longer than I was supposed to. They wanted it to be a photo op but I didn't want to use you like that."

"You have no problem with it now. My, Carl's right. You are not the same person you used to be."

"He talks about me to you?"

"Among other things."

"Like wh-?"

"Anyway, you saved my life in so many ways. Just survive somehow. You know your asshole husband said that to me after he trapped me in here? I swear he doesn't get anything unless it's directly about him," Enid said.

"Why did he leave again? Why would Rick let him? That's just irresponsible parenting. And don't get me started on Priyanka. Who brings a newborn baby along knowing there is imminent danger? I-"

"Shut. Up. I am going to finish. I want you to imagine my delight when we became friends to a certain extent. I used to daydream about that. You were a dream come true," Enid was in tears now. Jagadamba was to. She didn't know she loved her like that.

"Sharing Carl was just as much an excuse to be around you as anything else. I mean, yeah, my ego would not allow me to just dump him but I wanted to be around you, too. And I love your daughter, too. She's a cool little lady.

And then the threesome happened. I knew it was bad idea but it was you and him. I think, no, I know I am in love with you both. I wanted to make both of you happy. So, I did. Then I found out a week later the two of you are married. It crushed me. You made me a mistress, a whore without my permission and I find that hard to forgive. But, I am willing to. Because it is the right thing to do. I don't want to fight with you or him. It's exhausting. And being pregnant is draining enough. So, ask."

Jagadamba removed the chair from the door.

Enid squinted as she adjusted her eyes to the light.

"I am sorry I got married behind your back," Jagadamba said contritely putting out her hand out to help her up.

Enid accepted, "I forgive you."

She then slapped her.

"I deserve that. And you deserve this," she pushed her against a wall and planted one on her.

Enid didn't fight her.

After a minute, they separated.

"Wanna be my girlfriend?" Jagadamba asked.

Enid mulled over it.

"No. You don't need a lover. You need something you don't have. You need a sister."

Jagadamba began to boohoo. Enid embraced her.

"I am so scared. What if they don't come back?" Jagadamba asked.

Enid clutched her face and said, "Don't talk like that. They will be home tonight. You'll see. You'll see."

Three hours passed. It was dusk. Jagadamba was bent over a commode. Enid was with her holding her hair.

After twenty minutes or so, it stopped. Too weak to get up, she lied her head in Enid's lap.

"E?"

"Yes."

"What is it about him?" She said in reference to Carl as Enid caressed her hair.

"I can answer that. When he isn't being the worst, he's kind. Smart, funny. Kinda deep, sensitive, passionate. Sexy. Hung like a horse. Noticed how I said the most important thing last?"

"It's not the most important thing but helps. Boy does have good dick. Good head, too."

"True. I have never told him this but he is the first man that ever made me come. That first one blew my mind.

Also, that night. That night he spoke of you and your love of sixties musicals. How he hated West Side Story. Thinks Romeo and Juliet is the stupidest and Flower Drum Song, too," she said.

"I knew it. I knew he hated it. He always denied it. He squints when he lies like when a baby puts forth effort to poop."

"Said he pretended to like it to make you happy. I told him that he must be a warlock after you showed up the next day. I was happy for twenty measly hours."

"I am s-"

"Please don't insult me by apologizing."

"What do you need from me?" Jagadamba asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. My mind is going a mile a minute. Seemed like the thing to ask."

"I need us to remain calm for what might come next. We can't lose our shit. I want my baby and I want your babies, too. If we panic or become hysterical, we lose. I don't know about you but I am tired of losing. Losing can suck my dick!"

"I concur," Jagadamba almost laughed then she started to weep again.

"It's all right, J.B. It's all right. I will stay strong for you and stay strong for me."

"Easy for you to say. You only have Carl out there."

"And Maggie and Glenn. And Tomeka. I like her. I would be really sad if I never saw them again."

"Yeah. I got Carl, Michonne, Rick, Tommie, My mom. My little brother. I feel so bad about my brother."

"Why?"

"This morning I was so, so jealous of him. When I thought he was just my nephew, I was crazy about him. Pitied him because she was his mom and she acted like she didn't want him at first. I gave him his first meal. My body even made colostrum for him."

"What's that? Milk?"

"Yes but is special. It's different than regular titty milk. It is more yellow. Thicker. Supposed to be full of antibodies and whatnot.

The first week of his life, I was his caregiver. I loved him, I love him. When I found out he was my brother, my feelings changed to envy."

"Why?"

"Because he would always know that he was wanted. His life won't be a lie. Plus, she holds him, sings to him. Plays with him, I can't help but to wonder did she ever do that with me? She ever kissed my little face like that? It sounds so petty out loud."

"A little. But, I get it."

"Everyone keeps saying that. You don't. I don't have an identity anymore. Other than being a Grimes. If my husband dies where does that leave me? If Priyanka dies or Dare dies? If Rick dies. Or Michonne. Even Abraham for that matter, all my links to my past except Achilles and you will be gone.

You people keep forgetting I thought I had a sister. I lost her when I found out she was really my mom. Priyanka Richter is my mother. My birth name is Alice Richter-Anthony. I am Alice Richter. Jagadamba is my middle name. I am Alice. And I have spent my life living on the other side of the looking glass."

Annoyed and not afraid to show it, Enid asked, "Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?"

"I am not," she pouted.

"But you are though. Just a little. This isn't helping."

"You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me. Since you decided your pain matters more than anyone else's."

"I would never say that. Pain is pain. I know Carl is yours, too. He is literally alive in both of us."

"You really need to stay on topic."

Jagadamba sat up and looked her dead in the eyes.

"Please don't become insulted by what I am about to say. But, you don't love him like I do. I love him the way you say you love me.

During the past five years, my feelings for him was the, uh, impetus that caused the trajectory of my life since I was twelve. I ran away to be with him. Therefore I was captured by Galen. My daughter exists because of that decision. When I came across Priyanka and Achilles again, I insisted we go to Georgia so I could find Carl and Lori. That how we ran into Cortez. All of it has to do with him.

When I gave up ever seeing him again, is the exact moment I stumbled across him. I recognized him as soon as I saw him. I played it cool because I was insulted he didn't recognize me right off."

"He did. He didn't want to believe it. He told me he saw you everywhere sometimes," Enid told the truth.

"That's nice to know. Thanks for telling me that.

Anyway, I am saying all that to say this, there's something he said to me my first night here that sums up how I feel.

He said, you, we are only sixteen and we have been out of each other's lives for five years. I can't speak for you; but that means I have spent over a quarter of my life missing you. I don't want to do that anymore.' Then he kissed me. You know them rest."

Enid wasn't quite sure how to feel. She didn't know rather to be angry at or feel sorry for Jagadamba.

She knew was this one thing- she did want to be Carl's dirty drawers when his wife discovers or quits being in denial about him and Michonne. There was no doubt in her mind, someone was going to turn up dead.

Enid stood.

"I will be right back," she said.

Jagadamba nodded.

Enid went down to the kitchen and found the sharpest knife she could find.

She went back upstairs with it.

Jagadamba was puking ass again when she felt Enid return.

Out the corner of her eye, she saw the knife.

Jagadamba still dry heaving and having left her weapons in her bedroom began to plead for her life and that of her children's.

Enid laughed, "You fucking adorable idiot. Have you heard nothing I said to you today? You need a sister, a person who will never betray you or lie to you or be unfair to you. I am going to be your friend until the day I die."

Enid slid the knife over the palm of her hand. She cried out as the blood began to trickle out.

Jagadamba reached out for the knife and did the same.

She threw the knife in the sink. Then both girls joined hands and said in unison, "Sisters."

An hour or so lumbered by.

The very young women continued to talk. They talked about their parents, exes. Their hopes for their children.

"I hope my baby doesn't inherit my bad blood. That's all leukemia is essentially," Enid said.

"I hope if I do mess around and have little boys that they have their dad's hearing. Almost have the men in my maternal family have prelinguial hearing loss. Some were worse than others. My uncle Rami, great-uncle. He had cochlear implants. So he could hear some shit. That said, I hope I have daughters. Won't have to be concerned with it at all. Despite this, it would be nice to give my husband a son eventually."

"I don't care what I have as long as it is healthy and happy," Enid said.

"True dat."

The girls were silent for a mo.

Jagadamba began thinking about Carl and Michonne.

How after their argument, his sexual technique utterly changed. It was for the better but still. And Michonne didn't take up for her much. In fact, she threw shade every chance she got.

"E, will you be honest with me about something?"

"Depends."

"It's about Carl and Michonne."

Enid took a deep breath.

"What about them?"

"I know she broke his heart. He told me so my first night here. And she told me that they kissed once."

"And?"

"After they came back, they were different towards each other me. Hell, at the Hilltop, she was different towards me and him, too.

I think they had sex before they came to get me. And after."

"Why do you assume that?"

"My nightmares have the uncanny tendency to come true. People are constantly betraying me."

"You that is ironic you saying that to me, right?"

"Sorry. I try to forget about it."

"How you hurt other people?" Enid asked.

"Alright. I walked into that."

"A little."

"But, what if they are sleeping together? I can't wrap my mind around it. They wouldn't me and Rick like that. Would they? This could tear our family a part. And we are a family. What do you think? Am I being paranoid?"

Another opportunity to destroy Jagadamba presented itself once more.

Enid took a deep breath and said, "It was me."

"Huh?"

"All Carl's new sex stuff. It was me. Bigelow taught me some stuff and I taught it to Carl. Michonne would not hurt you like that," Enid lied through her teeth. And Jagadamba knew it because had just confessed to being upset that she slept with her and that he still hadn't.

She almost asked Enid what she taught him but decided better of it.

Why antagonize somebody trying to protect my feelings? Jagadamba thought.

"Well, all righty then. On that note, I should probably go see what Gabriel is up to. You can hang here if you want. And, ooh walkie talkie Bigs. He's really concerned about you."

"I will do him one better and go to him."

Both got up. Altogether glad they had mended fences with each other.

As they descended off the front porch, Jagadamba remembered what Enid had told her during her second day in Alexandria after they agreed to share him.

"Enid, thank you."

"For what?

"Lying to me."

Enid didn't confirm it or deny. She went after Bigelow.

-fin-

Author's Note- I know this is an incredibly long chapter.

I will be writing the next installment soon.

I might call it Out to Get Me. Not sure.