And the angst is here. Warnings for this chapter:violence, angst. Don't read if you can't handle it. This time, the violence is necessary.
Gaara walked home with his usual pit of despair festering in his gut. He fought the urge to run back to Naruto's house. If he did, it would be worse for him. The longer he delayed, the worse it would be. The longer he delayed, the worse it would be. The longer he delayed, the worse it would be. No matter how many times he repeated it in his head, his legs refused to move faster. He could only walk, step by step, forcing himself to move homeward. Step by step. Slowly, slowly.
Back at Naruto's house, Naruto too was feeling anxious, but he didn't know why. "Naruto, you okay?" Sasuke frowned at him, wiping at his wet hair. He'd just taken a shower. Naruto looked at him absentmindedly. "You should've taken a shower at your house. Seriously, what are you going to where now? No way are you getting back into the puke clothes. Isn't that what you said? What are you going to wear? 'Cause I'm not bailing you out of jail when you're arrested for indecent exposure. Running naked on the street is illegal, believe it."
Sasuke peered at his face. Something was wrong. The blond looked strange, almost distant. Weird. The blond always looked distant, but he'd never said believe it with such a lack of gusto. His voice was half-heartedly teasing, but his eyes were somewhere else entirely. "What's up with you?" Sasuke asked. "Hey, you know it's your turn to take your shower, right? I hope you weren't planning on walking around in vomit." "No way, that's gross, even I have to draw the limit," Naruto said cheerfully. Cheerful, but underlaying worry. Worry about what? Sasuke knew he'd missed somethiing. He just didn't know what.
Gaara was getting close now. Gaara, it's okay, you're fine. Let me out and you'll be fine. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid, I'm here.
But the demon's soothing words were just that. Words. They couldn't ease his fear or his suffering.
In the end, Gaara would have to do it himself. But he wasn't capable of it. Not alone.
But you're not alone. You have me. But I can't do anything if you don't let me, Gaara! Shukaku yelled frustratedly.
Naruto felt the hot water trickle down his back, but a chill was still climbing up his spine. Why was he getting such bad vibes? Something must be wrong, somewhere. He was getting a bad mojo feeling. He frowned and shut off the shower. He peered outside the bathroom door. "Hey, Sasuke?" "What?" he heard the raven call from downstairs. "Can you get me something?"
Gaara noticed the car and wished he could be relieved, but it was Temari's. His father no longer held any compunction for beating him in front of Temari. And she wouldn't do anything to help him. She was too scared and besides, she didn't care about him. Not enough. Not enough to... Gaara's fingers curled into a fist. He clenched his hand, trying to breath properly. Fear. A horrible emotion. Anger, at least, allowed him to release Shukaku. And Shukaku was strong. So anger was strong. But fear was weakness.
He fumbled for the door handle and pushed it timidly open. "Gaara? Where have you been?" he heard Temari speaking and was almost relieved. Until he saw who was behind her. His face was like a storm cloud and his meaty fists were clenched. "Yes, where were you?" he asked, voice deadly calm, the lull before the storm. "I-I had to help someone," Gaara said lamely. What excuse could he possibly use? There wasn't a good excuse.
"Help someone? Who?" his father asked, voice barely controlled. "Someone from school," Gaara murmured. "Dear Temari, why don't you go upstairs?" their father asked the eldest sibling. "I-" Temari glanced at Gaara. What to do? Stay and watch helplessly? That's all she did. What point would there be in being here? It would only torture her brother more, knowing his sister was watching, just watching. But maybe she could be here for him. If she left, who knew how far he'd go? He was in a very bad mood. Much like he had been once, many years ago. He'd almost killed Gaara then. She couldn't let him go that far, not even that close this time.
"I'll stay. I'll stay out of the way," she said curtly, noticing his glare.
Why is she staying? Gaara wondered bleakly as his father approached him. What was the point? To make herself watch? Was she punishing herself? Or did she enjoy watching his pain? Did she feel this was his punishment for killing their mother? Was this his punishment for being alive? Maybe she'd known about Naruto. Maybe she'd known that the blond was bringing him happiness and she felt the urge to remind him that this pain was punishment for being happy, that a beast like him should never find happiness or contentment.
Naruto flipped through the blue booklet Sasuke had grabbed for him. There it was. His phone number and address. "Why do you want the school directory anyway?" Sasuke asked from outside the bathroom door. "Tell me you have some clothes on," Naruto said. "I'm coming out, so you'd better." "Relax, I've got a towel on," Sasuke said. The door swung open. Naruto had dressed into a different outfit, this one stained and wrinkled and smelling peculiar. "Ew. I was going to ask to borrow some pants, but I guess that's out of the question," the raven said, waving a hand in front of his face. His nose wrinkled. "Yuck."
"I'm going out," Naruto informed him, jogging to his room. Sasuke followed him. "Where?" Sasuke asked, knowing to plug his nose the intant the blond's bedroom door opened. Naruto began to wade through the trash of his room, rifling through piles of whatever, looking for his shoes. "Gaara's house. Wanna come?" "Uh, no?" Sasuke said incredulously, voice slightly squeaky from having his nose pinched. "Why not?"
"Because it's probably like the house from that Alfred Hitchcock movie, Psycho. You remember when we watched that?" Naruto found one shoe and shoved it on his foot hastily. "Yeah, that guy with split personalities. Hey, kinda like Gaara. You know, he's all calm and stuff one second, then he's all furious and ready to pound the shit out of ya' the next," Naruto exclaimed, finding the other shoe to match the first. "Well if you're not coming with me, then here." He tossed Sasuke a pair of pants. The Uchiha caught them and backed away from the room a good distance before letting go of his nose.
He recoiled. "These pants smell like Ramen," he complained. "I know, believe it, it's nice, isn't it?" Naruto said. As far as he was concerned, Sasuke was pretty damn lucky. Ramen smelling pants were better than some of the shirts Naruto could've given him. Ramen smell was better than... well the kind of thing you'd find in the book, How Food Rots. No time to joke, though. Naruto had a bad feeling and he knew it wasn't about himself, Sasuke, or any one but Gaara.
Gaara gasped as his father's crushing fist hit his ribcage. He wanted to scream, but his breath was cut off effectively. He coughed and wasn't surprised to see red stain the floor. I'll probably have to clean that-another punch and he went down this time, sliding down the wall, legs collapsing. He'd read once that people could die if they just gave up on living. What a load of bullshit. Here he was- a hand curled in a strangle hold around his throat and he instinctively flailed and tugged at the hands around his neck.
"No! No, you're going to kill him! Let go of him!" their father paused. Temari was his only daughter and he did care for her, no matter how stubborn and silly she could be. He didn't let go of Gaara too quickly, to show her that he was the one with control, but he did nonetheless, to show her that he cared about her. She didn't seem to get it though, only looking away, tears in her eyes.
Temari hated herself. Half of her wished she had gone upstairs. The other half argued that if she had, Gaara might die. But the way things were going, he was going to already and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. She'd only be able to watch. Gaara grunted. His father, if he could be called that, kicked him hard against the wall again. Why couldn't she summon the courage?
Gaara was in living hell. "Get up! Get up, you pathetic bitch."
The redhead struggled up onto his knees. Then he fell back down as his father kicked his gut, flipping him onto his back. He was vulnerable, he realized. Too late to do anything about it.
The man stomped down with all of his force, his weight, his strength and hatred.
And Gaara felt it all. He couldn't cry out. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't die. No matter how badly he wanted to.
All he could feel was the pain, emotional and physical, in his mind and coursing through his body. He was hurt. He was broken, on the inside and out. His whole body was stiff and painful. He couldn't breathe without the pain. His head felt dizzy from the lack of air. But he couldn't breathe. It hurt too much. Vaguely, he was are of Temari and their father talking, then their father leaving.
After that, was just darkness.
The next time he woke up, he was in the welcoming darkness. He was in so much pain it was unbelievable. He couldn't find the strength to move, only lay here, feeling his injuries. Emotional and physical. Outside his body and inside. He was hurting. And he was alone, he realized. Truly alone. Shukaku wasn't there. Why wasn't he there? He'd always been there. Even if he wasn't talking, his presence was always there. Why wasn't he this time? Had he abandoned Gaara too?
Would he be alone forever in the dark, the world that had become so familiar to him?
"Gaara?"
That familiar voice couldn't possibly be-
"Gaara, oh my god, what happened?"
Gaara couldn't say anything, but in his mind, he knew.
Naruto.
You probably think I'm a demented psychopath. Well, if you've ever met me, then you know it's true. Actually, if you've met me, then you probably didn't notice me. I'm the wallpaper kind of kid. I have no social life, so if I know you, then you probably don't know me.
All right, cruel Readers, review or you'll never get the next update MWAHAHAHAH. *runs off*
