A/N: There's so many scenes and moments that we are fond of, but this chapter in particular is dear to us, so of course I am very happy to present this. We hope you enjoy.


For Better or For Worse

I wanna be there when the walls all fall away.
So I can see all of the things that made me love you.

- Jason Reeves


Fai frowned as he listened to Toshihiko cough. The snow had lasted much longer and had been much harsher than usual for spring, and as such, the cold season that came with the weather had become worse than they had expected. Toshihiko had suffered with a fever for a few days now, and the blond tried to help however he could. The toddler was resting on a mat with a damp cloth pressed onto his forehead. His skin was flushed as the fever was kicking in and sweat poured down his face – though it had been worse.

"Otou…" he coughed. "Wa-wat…"

With a small smile, Fai grabbed a cup he had filled with chilled water earlier. Helping the toddler, he let Toshihiko drink. "Toshi will be all better in a couple more days." He said it mostly to reassure himself though, feeling guilty that he was useless when it came to helping his child since he was not capable of performing intrinsic healing magic.

"Be…better," Toshihiko numbly repeated. He closed his eyes, his cold exhausting him. "Chi-Chechu…" he started, trying to ask where Kurogane was.

Fai listened to the tiny hoarse voice as he set the cup back down. "I think he's out with your Ojii-san helping people."

The boy barely registered the words, but he took it that his Chichiue could not see him now. "Sleep," he simply said, his illness completely overwhelming him.

"Sleep, and I'll see about getting you something good to eat when you wake up." Fai gathered his son up and put him in his and Kurogane's bed. Since Toshihiko was older, they had put away his crib and the boy now slept on his own small futon. Still though, the blond wanted him to have room in case he moved a lot in his sleep. Toshihiko clutched the sheets in his hands and started to doze off. Fai covered him up and got up to see if there was anything he could do for the others who were sick in the city. He made his way to visit his soon-to-be mother-in-law.

Now that spring was delayed due to the cold front lasting longer than expected, more people had gotten ill throughout the province and some had severe cases. While there were not as much deaths as previous severe seasons, it was still a terrible time. Tsumebe and the others had worked around the clock it seemed, mixing the dried herbs they had from last summer's harvest. It helped of course, but it was taking a long time to get all of the medicine prepared. The priestess toiled away, her mind completely focused on helping out the people of Suwa. She saw Fai approaching the room.

"Fai," she greeted. "How is he?"

"Tired and still running a fever," Fai said as he sat down, feeling tired from having stayed awake with Toshihiko.

"He only had a fever for two days," Tsumebe noted. "The worst should be nearly over. Now that he's not a little baby he should be able to overcome it easier."

"The medicine you had given him has helped too." Fai was grateful for it too since he wasn't as knowledgeable when it came to herbs.

"It really helps that our land is blessed with the best of the herbs," she said. "Perhaps when Toshihiko gets well enough I could help teach you how to prepare and use them."

"I would like that." Fai watched as the women around him worked around several large woven baskets filled with dried plants.

"Wonderful," she said with a smile. "It's really important to know, especially when you take over my position someday."

"I think Kuro-pon's pushing for the two of you, or at least Toriho-san, to go into an early retirement of sorts," Fai replied with a grin.

She laughed. "I really don't know," she said. "But you two are planned to be wed this summer – at the most when the worst of this season is over and the illnesses have subsided in Suwa."

"Hopefully it will be better by then." Fai mulled over the thought of the ceremony. It would be nice of course, and he did want to do it with Kurogane. Still, there was a small voice in his head that said something else bad might happen.

"If Kurogane was very ill as a baby but was able to live and grow up into a healthy and good man he is today, then it shall get better," Tsumebe said with conviction.

"You got a point."

She nodded. "As my husband would say, toughness runs in our blood."

Chuckling, the blond couldn't help but agree. "That is true. Toshi's already taking after his father and grandfather."

The priestess understood Fai's concern for his child's health. But she wanted to do her best to assuage his mind. She was glad Fai was loosening up his anxiety a bit. "Do you need some rest?" she asked him.

"I wouldn't be able to sleep. I came to ask you if you needed help actually," he said with a smile, wanting to do something to keep himself busy.

"I see," she said. "Well in that case I suppose it isn't so soon to show you a bit of this and that with preparing medicine using the herbs." With that said she pulled a spare basket with herbs in front of them to start showing him.

With a mortar and pestle, Fai watched as the lady ground some of the dried leaves into a fine powder, mixing in other types of plants and such as she made the mixture. The blond eventually made some as well, helping as much as he could. It went on like that for the next hour or so. Once the crushed herbs were ready and prepared, other women would come and take the batch to let it simmer in boiling water.

"Is there any I should take into the city?" he asked, knowing mostly everyone was busy trying to hand out medicine to those who were sick.

"That would be wonderful," she said. "We need all the people we can get. You should look for one of the men who are about to head out. I'm sure they could tell you where to go."

He nodded and he got up. "Perhaps I could use a spell to distribute or make more?" He would have to work out how to do it, if it could be done.

"I'm afraid magic would not be useful. Medicine like these should be made only by our hands," she informed him.

"I could at least send out the finished bottles somehow," he said, but then he thought that he would probably not do it right and ruin the concoction in the process.

"That's fine. Anything helps the people." She nodded with an encouraging smile. "If you prefer to deliver in any safe methods rather than prepare it, that's great as well."

"Alright. I'll go and take these out." He smiled and bid farewell to the group of women before he headed outside. With that, the young priest walked with a batch of prepared medicine. He was looking for any of the men in hopes of asking what the distribution schedule was like. Not being able to find anyone, he decided to go into the city himself to find someone he could give the package to.

Not a lot of people were outside in the city today. Normally that was the case in the winter season since it would get cold, but since the weather was persistent, many stayed home as much as they could in order not spread or catch the disease. Fai walked hurriedly, wanting to deliver the package to someone that could use it. Walking towards an inn, he finally saw several people milling about.

"Fai-san, is that you?"

Turning at the voice, the blond saw Kisa standing before him. She was carrying a basket filled with small loaves of bread and as Fai greeted her he noticed how she had changed over the years. Her hair was long and she looked more mature.

"I thought it was you," Kisa said with a worn smile. "I'm here to deliver food from Otou-san's bakery to anyone who needs it. How have you been?"

"Busy like everyone else who isn't sick," he said with a smile, thinking he rarely saw her anymore and felt a little awkward because of it.

"I see. It looks like you brought some medicine from Lady Suwa." She observed the package in Fai's hand.

"I did. She's been working all day on it," he said, thinking how Toshihiko had always told him how much he liked the sweets the bakery made.

"That's good. Well I'll be off then. It was nice seeing you again, Fai-san. Send my good wishes to the lord and the family."

The blond followed after, thinking it was probably the best place to find someone. Inside the cozy lobby there were several people. Some had come to rest while others were carrying on business. It was one of the biggest indoor places in the city, which was why people like Fai and Kisa went there to deliver goods. Others had also set up a place for others to distribute any goods the ill people would need to make sure none of it went to waste.

"I brought more medicine," Fai said as he set down the bag in front of a villager.

The villager reached out his trembling hands and took it graciously. "Thank you," he said in a hoarse voice.

"More will be coming soon," he replied, not wanting to take up any more of the man's time than necessary. The man nodded and reclined back along the wall.

Fai went to leave before he saw someone familiar. It was Toriho talking to his second-in-command and a few others off to the side. Yet Kurogane was not with them. He was still elsewhere with other men then. When Fai spotted them, several nodded in recognition before going back to what Suwa's lord was explaining. Just then, the head of the inn went to join the conversation with Toriho and his men. Fai listened intently to plans on quarantining those who were sick in their homes and how they would have people delivering things to them instead of having the sick come to them. When they finished, the blond walked up to Kurogane's father with a grin.

"Ah, what a pleasant surprise to run into you, Fai," the lord acknowledged. "Did you come here to deliver more medicine?"

"Yes, I decided to try and help while Toshi's napping," he explained as the others left to do what was needed.

"Excellent," the other said. "As for myself, I have visited nearly all of the places I had set out to travel today. There were some grave cases, but for the most part people have been relatively doing well."

"That's good news." Fai couldn't help but think it was his fault in some way. Maybe his luck was finally catching up to him as it seemed his misfortune never hit one or two, but hundreds at a time.

Toriho noticed the weariness in Fai. He grasped a hand on Fai's shoulder. "Toshihiko-kun should be fine as well," he said gently.

"He's still burning up," Fai said, thinking he should get back soon to check on his son.

"Fevers typically last that long. The doctor said it's still manageable," Toriho countered. "We're about to head back to the palace so I figured you wanted to come, too then."

"Yes…have you heard anything about Kuro-san?" Fai asked, worried that something could happen to Kurogane as well.

"I'm afraid not," the lord answered carefully. "Neither any of my men with me nor I myself have ran into him and the others yet. But maybe they'll be back home as well."

"I see." That didn't set well with him, but he promised Kurogane to try and stop thinking about what might happen and instead focus on the present. He had their son to think about after all.

With that Fai, the lord and several of their men left the inn and started making their way back to the palace. The day was getting late. It was still chilly and the ground was turning to mud from all the melting snow and rain it had endured. When they reached the courtyard he sighed in relief, wishing warmer weather would hurry along.

"Otou-san! Ojii-san!" a squeaky voice said from the inner courtyard.

Fai looked to see Toshihiko heavily bundled in his grandmother's arms. Shaking his head, he couldn't help but smile as he ventured over to them. Taking their son, he noticed his cheeks were still red. "Feeling any better?"

"Better," the boy repeated, slightly beaming underneath his hot cheeks. "Chechu back?"

"I haven't seen him." Fai left to go back inside as Toriho was welcomed back by his wife. "Does Toshi think he can handle something to drink or eat?"

"Deenk," he said.

"I think I can make you something sweet." He chuckled, thinking the boy was taking after Tsumebe in manners.

"Yay!" the boy exclaimed in glee.

"Don't strain. You'll hurt your throat more." He kissed a red cheek and noted how warm the boy still was.

"Cold," he grimaced when he felt Fai's kiss.

"I was outside you know," he teased as he carried his son through the halls and back into the kitchens.

"Oh…"

When the two arrived in the kitchen, Fai placed Toshihiko gently on the floor and he went to make a quick drink for his son. It was warm and he added lots of honey and fruit preserves to it to make it as sweet as he could. He chuckled and kneeled in front of the boy. "Here, it will make you feel even better."

"Help," Toshihiko begged sweetly.

Fai's smile brightened, finding his child too adorable for words sometimes. He tilted the cup to his son's lips. "Careful now."

The little boy happily drank the liquid his father had prepared for him. The honey definitely helped soothe his hoarse throat. Just then they heard large footsteps coming their way. Fai moved the cup away, wondering if it was someone coming to grab more things for the women.

"Oi, are you two there?" the gruff but warm and familiar voice called out.

"Chechu!" Toshihiko said, too tired to run towards his other father.

"Kuro-tan's back~" Fai cooed as he stood up to see Kurogane walking in. Putting Toshihiko's cup aside he went over to his beloved. Kurogane was rather worn out as well, having traveled for a bit visiting the villages and inquiring after the people's general health. He ruffled Toshihiko's hair briefly and went to fetch a drink for himself. Toshihiko coughed and Fai turned his attention back to him, picking the boy up. "Kuro-rinta looks like he's been busy today."

"Yeah," the other said after drinking some water.

"Toshi missed Kuro-daddy." Fai held their son with one arm as he grabbed the toddler's drink, wanting him to finish it while it was still warm.

"Chichiue" - he shot a glare at Fai, urging him not to torment him for what he was going to say - "missed Toshihiko too."

Chuckling, Fai let Toshihiko drink before the boy gently pushed the cup away and smiled. "Chechu, pick." He managed to wiggle an arm free from the blanket wrapped around him and still pointed.

If it wasn't for Toshihiko, no one would had ever seen Kurogane's natural warmth again just like when he was a boy. "Coming," he said, walking over to where Toshihiko was awkwardly wrapped in his blanket.

Fai handed him over with a smile on his lips. "Toshi, you still need to finish your drink."

"No," the boy huffed. "Chechu."

"He can still hold you," Fai argued half-heartedly.

"Listen to your father," Kurogane told the boy as he picked him up as Toshihiko had eagerly wanted.

Toshihiko pouted and coughed again. "You like it anyways." Fai smiled as he offered the boy another drink, knowing it soothed him.

"And don't think I will finish it for you," Kurogane said with a slight grin. Toshihiko shook his head, unable to talk as his mouth was full. He swallowed before turning to bury his face against Kurogane's chest. Fai sighed, thinking at least most of it was gone.

"Alright, I'll leave you alone. You and Kuro-papa can spend time together." Toshihiko was dozing off again, sighing contentedly. He loved being with his fathers.

"You two should go and rest," Fai said after Toshihiko was asleep again.

"Tch, you look like you need one too."

"Then we can all go. I don't think anyone would mind. "Looking over Kurogane, he could see circles starting to form under his eyes and was worried.

"Should be fine," Kurogane reassured as he walked out of the kitchen with Toshihiko asleep, his head propped over one shoulder. Fai followed him. Entering their room, Fai made sure to lock the door, not wanting them to be disturbed as Toshihiko needed as much rest as he could.

"I'll put him to bed. You can change out of those dirty clothes."

Kurogane did as Fai suggested and wrestled into a warmer set of robes. Meanwhile, Fai rearranged the sheets and laid Toshihiko down on the bed. He then got into bed, pulling his son close. "I hope this sickness passes Suwa soon…"

"It will," Kurogane said for the umpteenth time. "Illness is a part of life, so don't treat it as if it's unusual."

"It's been especially bad this year though," Fai argued, trying not to be loud with this son next to him.

"Shhhh," the other urged, lifting a hand to touch Fai's cheek.

Looking away, Fai felt almost like he was being scolded. "We should sleep."

"Yes," Kurogane whispered. "I just hate seeing you like this."

"Sorry," he offered his lover a grin, feeling like he had let Kurogane down.

The young lord was suddenly reminded of the two of them as children. He remembered a time when Fai was still adjusting to Suwa as his new home and still didn't speak as much. There was a particular night when Fai cried in his sleep and Kurogane couldn't help but overhear from across the hall. Eleven-year-old Kurogane would slide open his door and silently make his way to the other's room with the rabbit toy Fai had given him in his hand. He then placed it in Fai's hands and tiptoed outside as to not wake up his friend. Flash forward about fifteen years later to this moment, Kurogane still felt that pain, but it was slightly different.

Fai gently hugged Toshihiko. "I can't help but think of Valeria and Celes when I walk through the city."

Tsumebe had advised Kurogane to let Fai speak how he felt instead of pushing the blond to simply let it go. "I'll take care of people who think it's your fault," he said, sworning. "But that hasn't been a problem yet."

"I know, but it feels like time's repeating itself again." He didn't want to see streets littered with bodies ever again and he tried to fight off the feeling that it would happen here.

Kurogane sighed. "When all is over, I hope you will finally see."

Fai chuckled, wishing for the same as well. Sighing, he made himself comfortable, not wanting any nightmares and to actually get some sleep.

Kurogane, meanwhile, remained awake. Really, he wanted Fai to see that there were many things in life that wasn't in his control and that not everything bad that happened was because of him.


Fai wiped the sweat from his brow. He had poured a good chunk of his magic into the shrine over the last few days and felt disoriented and exhausted from it. With Toshihiko still ill, the blond had gotten very little sleep from worrying so much. Still, the illness stayed over the people and it was becoming taxing on those strong enough to still help. The young priest stepped out of the shrine door and wrapped his tattered cloak around him to protect his body from the chilly wind. The cold spell was still persisting and with his body worn out from not enough rest in the last week he felt miserable. Fai headed back inside the palace, wanting to check on his son again just in case something was wrong.

Fortunately last summer's harvest provided a bounty of herbs, which proved very useful this time as Tsumebe and her handmaidens were still busy preparing medicine in one of the rooms. But still, the supplies were starting to dwindle down and if the nasty cold spell persisted there very well may be a shortage of the strongest medicine. The priestess had told Fai she had enough assistance, which was fine with him since he still wasn't sure about his skills in preparing them.

Breaking away from his thoughts, Fai slipped into his bedroom where he had left a sleeping Toshihiko an hour beforehand. His son was still sound asleep with the sheets tucked underneath his chin. His breathing was steady and his fever had broken off about four days ago. Clutched in his hands was the dependable rabbit toy. Smiling at the sight, Fai kneeled down beside his son to check his temperature. He had worried for so long on the well-being of Toshihiko and as the fever broke, Fai had thought back to Kurogane's reprimands on how this epidemic wasn't his fault.

But still, he wondered how long this whole ordeal would last. Regardless if the epidemic was or was not his fault he still had a right to worry about his son and the people's welfare. It was a wonder how long his body could last in his current shape. Feeling that the toddler was only slightly warm, Fai tucked in the edges of his blanket before getting up again. He had to find something to occupy his time with.

Kurogane, along with Toriho, was out again ensuring that needs were met and so forth. Fai couldn't prepare medicine, but maybe he could still deliver them like he had in the last few days. Yes, that was something he could readily do. Settling on that, he reached in the chest for a warmer cloak. Tying the fur lined wrapping around him, Fai left, and when he passed on a wandering servant he asked her to keep an eye on his son.

Despite the fact that his magic was being drained, he would still help all that he could. He headed back to the preparation room where flasks of medicine were ready to be delivered. Several of the women nodded their heads in acknowledgement of his presence before going back to their work. Taking a basket, he filled it to the brim with bottles and bags of dried leaves. With a simple smile, he thanked them for their time and left towards the city.

Fai couldn't tell if today was the coldest day so far in the long winter season or if it was because his body was exhausted and couldn't trap heat better than usual. Yet the people needed medicine so he would brave the chilly weather and wind and head to that same inn like any other day.

He had also been thinking of quicker ways to distribute everything and had come up with a spell that would get things to people faster in the surrounding villagers faster than any horse or hawk could. It was better that way. It showed his magic could be used for the good rather than be mistaken as a source of bad luck or secretly used for evil motives as those were the notions in his original home world – Valeria.

Deciding to try it now, he stopped in front of the inn and turned around to face the large and open area in front of him. Setting the basket down, the blond began writing in the air. Electric blue runes circled around him and extended towards the basket.

He then flicked the spell with his fingers to lift the bottles and bags out of the basket, concentrating on sending them directly to people who needed them. Fai began to sway, yet he tried to resist and shake the wave of dizziness off. A few people watched as most of the bags and bottles flew up over the buildings while the rest vanished, taken out of the city and to the villages.

"That's really advanced magic he's doing!" somebody said.

Fai didn't listen as the people talked around him, concentrating on his spell. Once he was done however, he covered his mouth, feeling nauseous. Suddenly, his body shook violently and his head spun as he fell to the ground. He heard panic stricken cries from people around him before everything went black.

"Fai!"


Fai groaned softly as he slowly was waking up. His head was pounding and he felt exhausted, more so than he already had been. He heard soft mutters around him and they were speaking incoherently. The last thing he remembered was transferring the medicine. He must had had blacked out from the drain it had on his body.

"The poor young lord…did you see his face when he came back?"

"Yes…I haven't seen him look so pale in such a long time…"

"Not surprising at all… I would be too if I saw the young priest like that…"

"The sight of him so weak and passed out in the young lord's arms…terrible…"

Fai finally opened his eyes. His vision was still blurry as his eyes tried to refocus, and then he looked around. "Where…am I? The inn?" he asked, feeling weak as he turned his head to look at the small group of people nearby.

"Thank the gods you're awake at last, young priest." It was the palace's head doctor. "You're back at the palace. You were carried back home on the cart."

"…I see." He looked around, noting he was in his own room, but Toshihiko was gone.

"Your son is with the young lord," the doctor informed, noticing how the blond was looking around confused, "so that you may have your full rest."

"Really, I'm fine. Tell them to come back inside. Toshi needs his rest." Fai felt guilty for being the cause of his son having to be removed.

"I'm afraid," the doctor said stiffly, though he was smiling, "that the young lord had forbid me to do that."

"…Then I want to talk to him." Frowning, he couldn't believe Kurogane would consider such a thing.

"Now that is something he hadn't explicitly told me not to do. Very well then, I'll bring him in here then." The doctor stood up and went out of the room to fetch Kurogane as the other people exited with him. Fai sighed and looked up at the ceiling, annoyed that this had happened to him. Kurogane would never let him hear the end of it.

Just then there were footsteps approaching. There was a knock but then Kurogane proceeded to enter the room. He shut the door behind him. His face was stern, but he did not seem furious. "Don't get up," he commanded.

"You could have kept Toshi in here. Just put him in his bed," Fai told him, a frown on his lips. "And I'm fine. I just used a little too much magic."

"Right, and you collapsed," Kurogane said bluntly. He sighed and kneeled on the ground, grabbing Fai's hand and squeezing it. "The boy is fine. We put him in my parent's room temporarily."

"Bring him back," Fai argued, thinking that the bedding would have to be washed so Kurogane's parents wouldn't catch anything by chance.

"You want to wake him up when he's so sound asleep?" the other spat, fighting to hide his anger and keep his voice steady. "I know you care about him and the people. But damn it, I want you to look after yourself."

"Don't treat me like a child," Fai retorted, growing angry. "I do look after myself."

"Listen to me, Fai," Kurogane said, doing his best to calm down for the sake of them both.

"I have. Now let me up. There are things I need to do." Fai pushed himself up with one arm then, despite feeling weak.

Kurogane automatically pushed Fai back down gently. "Obey your body," he told him. "The doctor even recommended bed rest for you."

"I don't care," Fai glared, wanting to get back to work.

"Fine! Ignore the doctor's order and you will collapse again." Kurogane really wanted to hit something. Why did Fai have to be so stubborn? Didn't he know how he worried everyone at the inn, especially him?

"Kurogane…go and bring our son back. You can put him in his bed." Fai matched Kurogane's frown with his own.

The last thing he wanted was for Fai to become hysterical. It wouldn't help his health at all. Ignoring Fai's cold order, Kurogane proceeded to lie down next to Fai and held him, not saying anything else.

"Let me go. I can't just lie here with you," Fai protested, afraid that something bad could happen if he didn't try and help as best as he could.

The young lord didn't snap back at him. Instead he pretended to ignore what Fai said and remained as still as he could.

"People could die. Let me go, I have to help," Fai said. He began struggling to remove himself from Kurogane's hold.

"Do you think I don't want to help either?" Kurogane broke his silence. "I should be. But I'm not. Do you know why?"

"Please, you don't understand. If I try hard enough this time, maybe things won't get worse." Fai panted, out of breath already from trying to pry his beloved's arms off of him.

"One less person to help out does not make a huge difference," Kurogane said. "When Hahaue was pretty ill a few years ago, you helped her out a lot and Suwa did not suffer. But that doesn't mean if you can't help out for a bit that it's your fault."

"I helped all I could the last time in Celes and still it didn't help. Everyone still died." Fai felt sick thinking that his efforts could very well be in vain now.

Memories of being fourteen years old and grieving over his own failures to protect the villagers surfaced over Kurogane's mind briefly. He remembered something his father had hoped to instill in him at that time. "It is impossible to save everybody's lives." The words rolled off of his tongue as if it was yesterday. "You cannot physically demand yourself to do the impossible." But that was a long time ago and now it was Fai who needed those words.

"I can't let everyone here suffer the same fate." Fai clutched at Kurogane's shirt. Guilt swelled in his chest as he remembered.

Kurogane tried to soothe Fai, stroking the blond's hair. "If people die, if people suffer, it is equally all of our burdens."

"You weren't born unwanted and unlucky. You don't know." Fai gave him a pained expression, just wanting to simply do something right for once.

Kurogane closed his eyes for a moment. "I may not," he concurred. "But still." He opened them again. "If I ever don't want you again for whatever reason, you will still not have my permission to run off."

"I never said I would leave." Fai shook his head. He was silent for a bit, struggling to say what he wanted to say next. "You must hate me sometimes for thinking such awful things."

"Concern…could be mistaken as hate," the other explained.

"I'm trying, but I can't help but relive the other times."

"I know you are, believe me. But it's just…you can't always be on your toes for something that may not even happen even once winter is over."

Fai remained silent, knowing Kurogane was right. He decided to continue, now that Fai seemed to be taking his words into real consideration. "I had my dark times when I was serving Tomoyo."

For the first time ever since he left Suwa for six years, Kurogane was bringing up the subject of the pains and trauma he faced when he was fourteen. He never really brought up his long internal, externally aggressive struggle because he felt it was unnecessary to dwell in those pains. Besides, he more or so came to grip with that after he injured his arm that one time after saving Fai. But having the people close to him accepting his faults and all when he returned home from Shirasagi helped him find his way back. And now, for better or for worse, Kurogane wanted the same for Fai.

"I killed more than I should have. Why? Because I was still hurt from not being able to save those villagers from the oni. But Souma and Tomoyo, even Amaterasu, tried to reason it out with me before I could spiral down even further. It wasn't easy," he grimly admitted. "But it eventually worked even long after I left Shirasagi. "So," he gripped Fai's hand, but not too hard. "Don't lose yourself… I know you're not as bad as when we were young, but…"

He found it hard to say the last part. But you're still waging a battle and it hurts.

Fai attempted to smile then, thinking it took a lot for Kurogane to open up like that, even to him. "I won't…for Kuro-sama and for Toshi."

"For you too?"

"Yes." He wanted to remain happy with the family he had made here and he knew he had to work in order to so.

Fai was not lying. Nothing in his voice or his eyes or body expression showed it. He meant it, and it eased the knot in Kurogane's stomach.

"I sent all the medicine that had been prepared today out…You and your father won't have to go to some villages for at least a few days," Fai said, feeling ready to fall asleep at any moment now.

"I know," the other stated.

Something peeked out on the edge of the bed near Fai's hair. Kurogane tugged at it and found the rabbit toy still smiling up at him, even though the stitch was falling apart. Toshihiko seemed to be sleeping well without it. It was funny how the rabbit always knew when to make its appearance. Just like that time nearly sixteen years ago, Kurogane instinctively pressed it in Fai's hand. Fai looked at the toy as well, surprised Kurogane hadn't taken it with their son earlier.

"Kuro-chan's very sweet."

Yes, Fai was exhausted. But that was his body that was being exhausted and not his mind like the last two months. He was slowly coming back at last and Kurogane realized that. He also noticed with a pang that he terribly missed him, missed the Fai he knew and loved for all those years. So instead of grumbling in response as usual or speaking that aloud, he simply kissed Fai. The other kissed back as well, thinking it had been a long time since they had last been alone long enough to do something as simple as kissing. It went on like that for a few minutes, tension slowly melting away at last.

Fai was the one to end it as he was too tired to continue. "I think I'll rest."

Praise the gods. Fai was finally listening to his body. "Alright, I should head out then." But alas, Kurogane wasn't sure if he wanted to.

"You don't have to. But it would be nice if you brought Toshi back. He will be mad at you when he wakes up to find him not in his room," Fai joked as he settled down to sleep.

Kurogane paused. After a quick deliberation, he gently tugged the rabbit out of Fai's hand. "Be right back," he muttered.

With that he promptly left the room. He made his way to his parent's room and slid the door open, where their son was still sound asleep. That was good since it meant his cold wasn't keeping him up so much anymore. The young lord pressed the toy into another set of hands once again, but this time they were Toshihiko's. It was now his to treasure. Tucking the blanket over the boy, Kurogane silently exited and headed back to his room where Fai was patiently waiting.

Blue eyes watched as Kurogane returned, surprisingly by himself. "…You didn't bring him?" Fai asked, disappointed.

"He'll be fine," Kurogane said. He simply knew it. He then went to settle back down next to Fai.

"Terrible you are, keeping a baby from his father." Fai gave him a pout while he moved to hug Kurogane.

"Shut up," Kurogane reacted, but nonetheless he smiled and tousled Fai's hair as usual. Yes, things would be alright.


A/N: I am still surprised that the conclusion, the last chapter, is on the horizon! As usual, it will follow the schedule and will be published this upcoming Friday/Saturday.

Also, I cannot ignore mentioning the lyrics that begins this chapter. It is from Jason Reeve's song "No Lies", which also features singer Colbie Caillat. If you get the opportunity, do listen to it. I thought it fits their relationship well from Kurogane's POV in this story - perhaps for canon material as well.