Nolan paced up and down the length of his apartment, his mind a swarm of bees, all buzzing with ideas to develop his latest gadget and anticipating the arrival of his winter guest. While the city slept under a blanket of snow, the man was making serious plans that would result in a hardware revolution the world over. Why bother with a tower, a monitor, a keyboard and a mouse when everything could be done on a wireless touch-screen tablet? The NolPad had been one of his greatest innovations, but he was a hound already on the scent of his next great idea: why bother with any hardware at all?
Interactive holograms were the next step, his new dream to be realized.
His imagination was running rampant with visions of every field in the world outfitted with NolCorp hologram projections to guide them through their work. Engineers and architects creating building models of pure light, surgeons using holographic x-rays to guide their operations, police officers able to access instant building layouts to track suspects; he thought of his father in the military applications, where commanders could use holograms to plot courses of action, projected recon and mobility corridors in hostile territory.
Not that dad ever had much use for technology beyond his old tube TV!
Nolan shrugged to himself with a glance at the wall clock. 3:47am. The initial prototype was in the current assembly stage on his kitchen table. It would be finished before Emily arrived, and he intended for her to take it back to school and finish out the semester. Just one of his smaller Christmas gifts, for her to be the first and only with the premier product from NolCorp.
He sighed lightly and closed his eyes, resting them for a moment and picturing Emily in his mind.
Denise had put in the request for visitation with David. It was a different, more secure prison, but the warden - a father himself - had been amenable to Denise's plea for visitation on behalf of the man's daughter. It was Christmas, after all. And the warden had children in college and a wife with expensive tastes. It had been made plain that Nolan would need to express some 'holiday generosity' to facilitate this family reunion.
The man wasn't bothered or surprised by this development. In a way, he had to marvel at the universe - years ago he'd met David, who had invested in him to create NolCorp, which in turn had provided Nolan with the wealth to bribe his way into the prison, which now held David.
What a cosmic mess!
And that wasn't even taking Emily into account.
His contact with the girl this semester had eased off from the near everyday check-ins they'd had in her previous school year. He hadn't minded it at first, seeing it as a sign that Emily was becoming more established as her own person, no longer in need of Nolan's virtual hand-holding.
Now, though.
Nolan knew Emily was hiding things from him - serious things. The mere fact that she hadn't mentioned much of her weekend trip to London from several weeks prior and that she hadn't spoken of her visit to Tokyo at all was proof enough of that.
Not for the first time where Emily was concerned, Nolan didn't know what to do.
He still hadn't brought up that he knew of her trip to Asia, and he hoped that Emily would explain her reasoning to him soon to save him the awkwardness of explaining just how he was keeping tabs.
Still, she may come clean in person once she was with him for the holiday break.
Until then...
Nolan poured himself a drink and retook his seat at the table to continue working on his latest project.
Emily watched as New York advanced closer, spreading out for miles, buildings and streets and hustling people under a blanket of blinding white snow. The NolCorp jet descended softly, Nolan's pilot always so careful with her transport. Emily's fingers clenched over the armrests of her chair as the plane touched down, bouncing once, then rolling smoothly into its private hangar at the end of the runway.
She closed her eyes briefly, thinking, always thinking.
She had freshened up somewhere over the Atlantic, styling her hair, applying makeup and changing out of her scruffy clothes and into a more suitable outfit for when Nolan came to collect her. He saw her in varying stages of readiness, depending on when their online chats took place, but on first seeing him in person at the start of their visits, Emily always wanted to look her best.
The girl collected her things - her bag, book, and NolPod music player - and headed toward the doorway that had just opened. She could see Nolan across the hangar, approaching the jet. Heart speeding at the sight of him, Emily descended and rushed into his arms. He grunted softly at the impact she made into him, but as had become his wont, he lifted her and twirled her in a circle, the both of them laughing as he set her back on her feet, so happy to see each other in person rather than through a screen.
"Oh, Emily, look at you!" He cupped her face, smiling ear to ear, and then he touched her hair - still dyed a flaming auburn red. "With this color I ought to call you Ginger, I always preferred her over Mary Ann." He teased, flashing her a wolfish smile.
She laughed and batted his hand away, "Nolan!"
"A little flirt never hurt anyone! How was the flight? Let's get you home so you can settle down before we grab some dinner." As always, he was excited to have his guest under wing. Despite the stress of their arrangement, Nolan greatly enjoyed Emily's company and the chance to spoil her - she made it so easy as she was always appreciative of his generosity.
They were a family, for the time being.
He took her bag and ushered her toward his idling car. Emily smiled, "The flight was as smooth as ever, I slept for most of it and woke up about two hours ago. I could definitely eat."
The man slipped behind the wheel and steered them out once she'd secured her seatbelt. "Of course, you need to eat enough to keep up with all the sports you're doing. What is it now, volleyball, track and polo?"
Emily nodded. "Yes, polo doesn't start until next spring, though."
"I never took well to riding the ponies, I stay on the sidelines when it comes to polo and the track." He shook his head. He liked all animals, but the bigger the animal, the more he liked them from a distance.
"I've ridden a couple of the horses at school, they're all pretty friendly but there's this cute dark brown one I favor the most. When the season starts, he'll be my game horse." Emily told him. Once he stopped at a light, Emily showed him a picture of the horse on her phone. In the picture, she was petting the horse's nose in the school's stable yard.
Nolan nodded, impressed with her choice of animal. He was a beautiful horse and she looked happy in the picture. Maybe he'd get her a polo horse of her own when she was finished with school abroad and came back to live in the States.
"Pretty pony! You know, I'm glad you're doing so well. None of this has been easy on any of us, but you've had it tougher than anyone."
She slipped her cell back into her purse. "Nolan, has there been any news?"
"I...let's get you settled in and have dinner. There's a new place I've invested in, you'll love it. After that we can talk some business."
Emily masked her disappointment behind an agreeable smile.
"This is fantastic." Emily exclaimed as she took another bite of her steak.
Truly, Nolan had outdone himself with his choice of restaurant - rather than a trendy place that overcharged for three peas and a carrot, he had gone the opposite direction and followed his stomach toward a more traditional steak house, all prime cuts on the menu and candles on the table. He had been won over to invest in this place all on the strength of a dinner the chef had prepared especially for him.
Food aside, Emily could see why Nolan liked this restaurant; the tables were more isolated and the setting was intimate. Dark wood paneling and a brick firepit in the center of the floor leant it a great deal of Old World charm. That Nolan was allowing her wine with her meal - "It's the perfect compliment, it'd be a crime to eat this food with anything else!" - was a treat, further feeding her sense of self whenever she was with him.
Tonight, she wasn't a schoolgirl out for dinner with her "cousin", she was every bit a woman on a night out with her lover.
The fantasy was foolish, but she was a fool in love.
Takeda had advised her to be so creative in her fantasies that a piece of her began to believe the lie.
Well.
Why not start here, with him?
She was already well on her way.
"I'm glad you like it, I've invested on your behalf."
"You did? When?"
"Just a few weeks ago, actually. It was between this place or a sushi upstart. Steak is always great but we can't eat it every day. Tomorrow we'll get some Japanese, I know how much you like ramen."
Emily froze at his words, gripped with complete and immediate fear. She caught the flash of knowledge in his eyes. Nolan was staring at her, waiting for her to tell him what he clearly already knew.
Thankfully their waiter chose that moment to sweep over to the table to take their plates and replace them with a complimentary dessert of creme brulee.
Nolan handed her a spoon and took one for himself, taking the first taste of the treat meant to be shared between them. "Mmm! They really outdid themselves this time. Try it."
Emily hurriedly took a spoonful of the sweetness for herself, hardly aware of anything beyond the pounding of her heart.
Perhaps Nolan was feeling merciful, as he changed the subject and didn't skirt her trip to Tokyo again.
That small, swift exchange was marked to Emily.
It was the proof of Takeda's guidance, that for his own protection going forward, Nolan would need to be kept in the dark.
Nolan chose not to prod Emily further over her visit to Tokyo. That night, somewhere between dessert and espresso, he decided that it was enough to show her that he knew. Anything else would just be harping on, and what would be the point in that? She trusted in him, and he trusted that she would come to him whenever she had the need.
They were all they had, save for David.
And speaking of...
"Emily."
"Yes?"
"Denise found where David is being held, and we're in luck. The warden there is open to...persuasion regarding a visit."
"Persuasion? You mean a bribe."
He winked at her, loving her quick mind. "You're not wrong."
"I wish it didn't have to come to that." Nolan was generous with his money to the point that an outsider might call him careless. Since the moment they came together the man had been showering her with immediate gifts and investments toward her future; it made her uncomfortable despite the several instances where she had succumbed to his delight in spoiling her to satisfy her own ends.
"'If wishes were horses we all would ride.' I think that's from a movie." He smiled lightly, dismissing her concern. "Anyway, Denise and the warden need to land on the right number, and then pick a day. I'll drive you to a certain point and then let Denise take you the rest of the way."
Emily frowned at that. In her visits with her father at Lockhart, Nolan had been present with her. "Why the switch?"
"Denise's idea, and I confirmed it myself. This location is much more secure than Lockhart was. More cameras, all of them high-def. I've already distanced myself from the Clarke name in the media. It would put me in a tough spot if I was connected with this again. I can't risk NolCorp."
"But you can risk me?"
He raised his brows and reached across the table to cover her hand with his own. "Not a red hair on your head! The team will be with you at all times."
"They were with us on the pier, too. Someone hurt you that day." Emily reminded him, hating the memory. Her face on the cover of a tabloid that had unravelled their first Hamptons summer and the confrontation outside of The Stowaway - she remembered the fear and anger she'd felt that day, the realization of her new identity that had followed.
One simple picture had played a part in birthing Emily Thorne.
"A lapse that won't happen again." Nolan said. He squeezed her fingers before withdrawing his hand. "I'll let you know when the visit can be arranged."
His words were so light, his delivery so casual, it was as if he were making plans for them to go to the movies later in the week. Some time in the very near future, Emily would see her father again. It had been near a year with no contact between them, and she wasn't even sure how she felt. Anxious and excited to see David, certainly, and so enormously grateful to Nolan for making it happen all over again.
She struggled for a moment to speak over the sudden tightness in her throat. "Thank you so much, Nolan."
"Of course, Ems. It's been too long since you've seen him, and I hope he can explain why he confessed at the trial. We didn't deserve this."
His last words surprised Emily.
He was right.
Neither she nor Nolan had deserved to be blind-sided with the rest of the world by her father's shouted confession, to be kept in the dark by what he'd done. David may have been trying to protect them in some way, but what had come of it?
Emily hadn't seen her father in person since the previous winter and Nolan had been left to remain her keeper.
They had deserved so much better.
Days later, after a show on Broadway, several restaurants and a gala thrown in honor of the NYPD, Nolan and Emily were readying themselves for the most special of reunions. Denise and the warden had found the right number - just south of two million USD, deposited anonymously into an unmarked account - and now the day was upon them...or so Nolan had thought.
As Emily was getting dressed, a gorgeous new outfit she'd chosen just for the occasion, Nolan had received a phone call from Denise herself. The news was meant to spare them the trip to the prison, leaving the city and going through the trouble of the vehicle switch and all the other extra security meansures Nolan had put into place to protect the girl.
But it was often said that God laughed at the best laid plans.
He thanked Denise and ended the call. He clenched his jaw, wondering what he could tell Emily, when she girl emerged from her room. He turned to face her, his expression was enough to rip the smile from her face.
"Nolan, what's the matter?"
"He...your father refused our visit." Even saying it out loud, it felt wrong. This didn't make sense and it couldn't be the truth. It had to be a lie that the warden told Denise.
"What?"
"We can't see him."
"Why? Did something happen?" Fear was plain on her face and in the tremble of her voice.
Nolan stared at the phone in his hand, the useless thing, then blinked away his shock to look her in the eyes. "No, David just refuses to see us." He knew that there had to be something else at work here, something bigger than all of them, some bizarre, terrible thing behind the man's 'refusal' to see his child. Americon Initiative was at work once again. "There was no notice, he hasn't been injured, he's not in isolation...I just...I don't know, but we're not seeing him today. We can't. Even if we still went to the prison, David is refusing visitation and outside contact...Emily, I promise I'll find out why."
The girl was staring at him, her eyes empty of the joy she'd shown just moments ago. All at once, she was hollow. "Why did this happen?"
"Denise worked the deal with the warden, but even David still has a few rights left while he's in prison. He has the right to refuse visitors. Denise can explain it better than I can, do you want me to call her back?" He offered.
"No. I want my father."
Nolan took a step toward her, touching her arm, "Emily, we can-"
"Stop!" She exploded, her sharp voice crashing off the walls of his apartment. She pushed past him, storming to the door. "Stop calling me that! I'm Amanda, Amanda Clarke! I'm his daughter and he won't even see me!"
It was yet another betrayal from her father, a slap in the face and she was furious.
Nolan started after her, "Come back, we can-"
"I don't want anything else from you. I don't want this anymore, just leave me alone!"
Emily stormed out of his apartment, leaving Nolan in the cratered remains of what was supposed to be a wonderful day.
There went a stretch of time in which Emily scowled and snarled her way through Manhattan, stalking through Central Park and casting her hateful glare over every joyful holiday family, every cheerful Christmas display and every Texan tourist. She stomped a full lap around the center lake, her temples pounding with the same horrible, violent thoughts she'd had against those who had wronged her. Americon Initiative. The Graysons. Mason Treadwell. The only difference between her everyday fantasies of killing these enemies was that her own father had joined the ranks.
How could he refuse to see me?! She raged in silence as the world around her spun in celebration. She wanted to reach out and shame the man, pummel him into oblivion. His fault, all his fault, and for what?
Hot tears escaped her eyes and froze halfway down her face. Emily bit her lip to restrain its trembling but it was no use. She was too furious, too raw and exposed to compose herself.
How could he do that? It took so long to even find out where he was, it's bee a whole year since I've seen him! It's not fair! Why is this happening, why?
She clenched her hands into fists and then kicked at a metal trash can, satisfied at the loud clank of her foot connecting with the barrel. She took up a fallen branch and threw it into the lake. It was so stupid and pointless, this tantrum of hers, and she knew it. Sinking to her knees at the water's edge, she screamed out her rage, muffling the noise with her hands.
The scream took a lot out of her. Certainly the rage remained, certainly the confusion and frustration and sense of betrayal remained. But Emily's tantrum had come to its end. She stood up, frowning at the muddy wet knees of her jeans. It was cold, the December winds strong and bitter. She wanted to go back to the apartment, to go into her room and listen to music in her earbuds loud enough to drown out her thoughts...but no, not yet.
She put her hands in her pockets and started walking.
It was several hours later and Emily had barely taken a step over the threshold when Nolan appeared and demanded, "Where the hell were you?"
She stopped short, caught off-guard by his temper. "I went to the park, then walked around the city."
He shook his head at her plain answer. "We agreed - you tell me where you are and you always answer when I call."
Emily didn't want this, for her and Nolan to be locking horns when it had been them against the world for her father, for so long. "I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted to be alone."
"I can give you time to yourself, but Emily you can't pull a bratty move like that and just ditch me when you're upset. It's too dangerous, if something were to happen to you-"
"But nothing did, Nolan! Don't you get it?" Emily threw up her hands, exasperated. "Your plan worked. I've Googled myself, there isn't a mention of Amanda Clarke anywhere - the only thing I could find was a message board posting from eight months ago, speculating my name was changed right after my picture hit the tabloid and that I got adopted by some family on the other side of the country."
The man nodded, "I always put a little of the truth in the mix, it makes the story more credible."
Emily blinked. "Wait - that was you?"
"Who else?" He shrugged, spearing fingers through his hair. "Right around the time I sent you away to school, I floated rumors throughout the net to explain why Amanda Clarke couldn't be found. Everything from you having died in a car wreck to you running away to live with your mother's relatives in Canada. After that I scrubbed the web so any searches on you would only lead to dead ends."
"Then why worry? No one would even connect the name Amanda Clarke with me, let alone recognize me now."
"You're right, but it's still the real world out there and you can't just drop out of contact whenever you want." He told her forcefully.
After the day she'd had, Nolan's overbearing tone was the last straw, "Stop parenting me, you're not my father!"
"I'm not trying to be! I'm trying to keep you safe, damn it!" Nolan snapped back at her. "You have any idea how much easier my life would be if I just cut ties with you and David right now? No more bribes for visits to the prison, no more lawyers, no more donations to the school, no more tuition, no more building the background of Emily Thorne. You really think I've been doing all that because I want to replace your father? If you think that then you have a hell of a lot to learn." Nolan turned from her, storming away.
Emily jumped when she heard the hard slam of his bedroom door.
Emily gave Nolan time to himself; she understood all too well that a high temper needed to burn itself out before the man should be approached. She waited in the living room for him to emerge, but he did not come. Not even when she'd ordered Chinese takeout for them to share - it wasn't the same place that they usually ordered from while in the Hamptons, but New York City could boast the world's best Chinese food, second only to China itself.
The way to a man's forgiveness was through his stomach, or so Emily had thought.
Clearly not, since he was ignoring the peace offering of lo mein and fried rice.
Well.
Emily steeled her nerve and approached his bedroom door. She halfway hoped that he dealt with his anger simply by going to sleep, waking up to his usual kind self in the morning. She hated feeling this way, the lingering anger over her father's refusal mingling with the guilt of what her tantrum had put Nolan through. What he'd said hit far too close to home. Despite all of his reassurances, Nolan had listed out every way she burdened his life, how much easier it would all be if he wasn't obligated to take care of her.
And how had she repaid his care? With a tantrum.
I'm so sorry, Nolan.
She knocked on his door and waited. He didn't come to answer.
"Nolan. Nolan are you in there?"
"Come in."
She hadn't been in his room before, but the first thing she noticed was that it was very similar to her own room in terms of its layout. Particularly the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the street and Central Park so far below. She remembered him saying that the view had been the main selling point of his city residence.
The room's overhead light was off, but there was enough light to see by coming in through the windows. She stepped in further and saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, his back to her.
"What're you doing?"
Nolan quickly set aside the old picture he'd kept of him and Marco on a sailboat. It had been their anniversary, a full week spent in New Zealand to celebrate. Every day had been salted breezes, sunshine, love and laughter. He didn't know if he would ever be that happy again. He hadn't had the heart to get rid of the photo, even though Marco had gone off and found someone else. Nolan hadn't wanted to believe it when he'd heard the news, but it was true. Marco and his new boyfriend had relocated to Boston. They had a high-rise loft and a terrier, they ran in 5k races and hosted movie nights with all their new friends.
"I wasn't, uh, nothing. Did you need something?" He asked, turning to look at her.
Emily stepped around the bed to face him. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. You were right. I shouldn't have run away, I should've answered my cell when you called."
Nolan took a deep breath. "After David refused to see us, I shouldn't have tried to...I should have known you'd need some time alone. It's all right."
Emily shook her head, moving closer, kneeling before him on the floor so he would have no choice but to look at her. "No, it's not all right! Nolan, everything you said, everything you've done for us. For me. I've taken you for granted and I'm so, so sorry for that. I don't know what might've happened to me if it weren't for you." She reached up, taking his hands. "I could've been shipped around to group and foster homes until I aged out, and then after that I would've been on the streets. Alone, with nothing. I know my name is cursed now. I already know from my time in Millhouse what can happen when someone finds out who I really am. We almost found out by mob justice that day on the pier, but you protected me. You've been protecting me since the first day. You think I don't know that no one else is on our side? You're the only one who stood by my father. You're amazing, Nolan. You're wonderful. But why? Why have you done so much for us?"
Nolan looked down at her, his beautiful friend. He pulled one of his hands from hers, to touch her face. He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers and struggled for the right words. "I...your father believed in me when no one else ever had. If I stand by him now, if I can help him, then it'll make us even. It'll make things right."
"That's it?" Emily asked.
Oh, she was a selfish girl, she wanted to hear him say that he loved her, but Nolan didn't say it. He didn't say he loved her, he didn't lean down and kiss her, he didn't hug her, hold her, or bring her into his bed and show her what love could be as he had in all the fantasies she conjured at night.
That he was only trying to balance the karmic scales hurt her.
"That's it."
"Okay." Emily moved to stand up, swiping at an escaped tear. "I ordered in Chinese for dinner. Can I bring you anything?"
Nolan shook his head, staring at the floor. "No."
It was clear enough that Nolan didn't want her now. He wanted to be left alone. She could understand and respect that, though his dismissal stung. "All right, good night Nolan."
The man nodded as she departed his bedroom. "Good night Ems."
