Author's Note: I only have empty-sounding excuses for the delay. Things were not flowing properly in this chapter so I was slow and also mucked about with some other possible stories.
Cursed
SS/LE, AU, Marauder Era
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 29 Special
Severus kept catching Lily giving him looks. He knew she knew he put those pictures in her book after he nicked them from a stash down in Slytherin. What did she expect by making fun of him? He wouldn't hex her or anything, but he hated it when Lily acted like she knew everything. It was his mother that was a witch, not hers. Not that it mattered regarding this subject since his mother did not talk about even his father's. Besides, she was dead now, and even if she was alive, Severus would not be showing her his and asking what was wrong with it.
It was Lily's problem. Not his. What Lily failed to consider was Severus used the male baths, when he roomed in Slytherin, so if one of them were to know more than the other regarding this, besides the fact that he owned one and like any boy with a new toy, dutifully tossed a few off for a month or two when the foreskin first separated from his glans, it was him. How many could Lily have experience with to act so knowledgeable? … Potter? Did he? Did she? He was the only one who seemed to fancy Lily, at least openly. Potter jinxed anyone that as much as said hello to her, except his mates, who joined Potter at keeping Lily boyfriend-free.
Was that what Lily was really getting at? That Potter's cock was better-looking? That was … well, that was … Severus had never seen one that looked … he didn't know what word would be right. Definitely not beautiful. Cute, no. Virile? Was that a positive word for the way one looked? Lily called his big and hairy. He wasn't all that hairy, compared to boys that were even younger than him. So what did she want, boyishly smooth and something equally as boyish in size? Not that Severus cared. There was nothing he could do about it. He had a big nose, long fingers, he was more bone than pudgy flesh, and could no longer pass for a boy.
Rather than worrying long about what was wrong with him, Severus' thoughts turned to what was wrong with Lily's notions. Back when she was trying to educate him on that Jesus and God stuff, because he didn't care for Petunia calling him an ignorant heathen or demon spawn, at the beginning Lily told him that tale about the world being made in seven days, or really, six, because most people did not work on Sunday, unless they were in a shop that was open that day. Not all shops were, but more were starting to be open seven days a week now.
Anyway, back in that story, Lily told him that God created people to look like him. When Severus asked what that meant, since most people did not look alike, she said something about him being all-powerful and that we simply need to believe that we look like him and that also means no one is ugly. That was one of the reasons why Severus did not take more of an interest in what Lily was telling him. It was like that list of rules that no one should kill and steal, but even people that believed in this three-person God religion did the things they weren't supposed to. It was worse than breaking the law for them, if they thought their God was all-knowing and saw everything. They would always be caught. So that is why Severus thought, as with most things, people said things, like no one was ugly, when in truth, there were lots of ugly people, and the same people who said no one was ugly would still say in their next breath that he definitely was. Hypocrites. Unfortunately, that is one area where he had to regrettably agree with his father. Tobias Snape had not like hypocrites, and Severus could not tolerate them either.
Admittedly, Petunia was a much bigger hypocrite than Lily. However, since he was not friends with Petunia, he did not care. His problem with Lily was she was not consistent. If he even said her big sister was wrong, he was in trouble so he stopped doing that. Once they were at Hogwarts, Lily thought the girls who giggled and pointed at him were better friends than him. Severus did not have a wealth of experience regarding how friends were supposed to act, since he observed more than he personally experienced, and Lily was the only person that he considered his true friend over the years.
It was during Severus' period of indecision over whether Lily was ever his friend at all that she chose to say something to him, since she was back to not talking to him and tossing her head back in disdain, like her sister, whenever she caught him looking at her.
Before Lily spoke, Severus knew she had something to say, and it was not going to be good. She had that mischievous look in her eyes, like when she was getting even with someone, and a hint of triumph in her smile as she announced clearly, "I'm learning the patronus charm. I can already get some silvery ooze out of my wand, Severus. I'll probably be able to cast it with another day or two of practice."
"Patronus?" Severus repeated. "For dementors?"
"Yes."
He did not have anything to say in response to that. Lily clearly wanted to rub his face in it. She was going to Azkaban over the holidays to visit Potter and maybe Black or Lupin too.
Lily had not been expecting Severus to frown at her, turn and walk away. Had he already asked Prof. McGonagall about learning the patronus charm to get a leg up on her for the animagus lessons? She was only trying to start a bit of conversation with him.
Since those illicit photos found their way into her hands, Lily had been having the most naughty thoughts, especially at night when she was trying to go to sleep. She thought of Severus more than those nameless people in the pictures.
She had been fantasizing about some conversations they could have and the possibility of Lily getting another chance at getting a look at his penis. The best opportunity was going to be following Prof. Slughorn's holiday party so Lily turned down the offers by a couple boys to escort her. The professor said Severus had been invited. Knowing Severus needed an opportunity to ask her to be his date, she had tried to strike up a conversation with him. It didn't matter, once he saw Lily at the party in this dress, Severus would talk to her.
At the party, eventually Lily could not stand it any longer. She had circulated the room and peeked behind the curtains and staked out the plates of meat for a while, and still she did not see Severus.
She asked Prof. McGonagall, "Have you seen Severus, professor?"
"Not for a couple hours, Miss Evans."
"Hours?"
"Since I came down here at least. I did check on him before I left. He was reading a book. Is there some problem?"
"You mean he's not coming to the party?"
"You seem upset. Did you have some understanding with Severus?"
"No, but why wouldn't he come? It's a party."
Minerva gave Evans a disbelieving look. Actually, she would prefer not to be here either, except that she was interested in meeting one of Horace's guests from outside the school. Severus was not as easily lured by frivolity.
"As you say, it is a party. So please enjoy yourself, Miss Evans."
In frustration, Lily grabbed a mulled cider. Of all the sneaky, underhanded things to do. Severus could have said something. Now she was dateless for no reason, thanks to him. She was not going to remain unattached though and started chatting up Willie Zeller, a seventh year Hufflepuff. He was taller than her and had a nice smile. Very polite, even for a quidditch player.
After they left the party, Willie offered to walk her to Gryffindor tower, even though Hufflepuff was not in that direction.
He took Lily's elbow and led her into one of the many alcoves that dotted the castle halls. This one had a statue of Bridget Wenlock.
"That's a nice dress, Evans. I've been meaning to say so all evening," Willie commented, looking down the front at what Lily had put on display.
"Thanks."
He leaned forward, backing Lily more deeply into the shadows and gave her a kiss.
"Oh," she replied, "um, yeah, well that was nice."
"Hm hm," Willie answered, pressing his advantage to resume the kiss and let his hands get to business. Evans had been coming on to him all night, and he was interested in finding out about this muggle mating that she was so into.
Lily turned her head to the side, protesting, "Hey."
Although December, Lily's decolletage ignored the time of year and the dress itself was easily rolled down off her breasts, giving Willie access to thrust his hand underneath her sheer bra and give one of her tits a firm squeeze.
"Have you ever thought of getting these up to a decent size, Evans? It's barely the size of a plum."
"Get your hand out of there!"
"What's the rush? I'm not ready to go like some muggle bull. I need a bit of a cuddle first. You could put your hand a bit lower, Evans."
"Hell no. Get off me."
"What's your problem?"
"My problem?"
"Yeah, yours, Evans. You lead me on, then nothing. What? Is it that I noticed you don't got a pair of udders?"
"Udders?"
"Yeah, like the muggle girls. Big, beautiful, round ones that are bigger than my hand with pointy nipples."
"Where'd you hear that?"
"Everyone knows it."
"That's … bullshit," Lily snapped, drawing her wand. She may be a prefect, but Zeller was not treating her as a gentleman should treat a lady.
"Oi! That you, Zeller?"
"Get off, Frank. We're getting back from Slughorn's party."
"You're a bit far from Hufflepuff for that. Who you got with you?"
Annoyed that Evans was both difficult and loud, after she put out for so many others, Willie pulled her forward into the light by her bunched dress that was still rolled beneath her breasts.
Frank Longbottom was surprised. Alice was so sure Evans did not have a boyfriend. He barked, "Cover up, Evans." Perhaps the rumors of her being an indecent, oversexed muggleborn were true.
"Five points from Hufflepuff, and five points from Gryffindor. Get back to your common rooms."
Lily was still adjusting her mangled dress when the head boy deducted points. She gave a mild shriek. Zeller lost her points, besides being a bastard. He'd pay. It was no use arguing with Longbottom. Frank followed the rules to the letter. She's have to go to Prof. McGonagall.
After pounding on the professor's door, eventually she heard Severus call, "Who's there?"
"It's me, Sev."
He opened the door a foot and asked, "What?"
"Is Prof. McGonagall in?"
Severus eyed Lily's attire, before answering, "She is attending Prof. Slughorn's holiday party."
"I know that," she replied, pushing her way in. "I'll wait."
"If you are here to tell me you did not see the headmistress in attendance, I could not care less."
"Why do you say that?"
"Why not? If you wanted to speak to her, than you should have done it at the party, not get me out of bed."
Lily noted Severus was wearing old trousers, only an undershirt, and was barefoot.
"Oh, you were sleeping?"
"Reading, actually."
"Huh."
Lily sat down on the sofa near the door.
She called, "Where are you going?" when she noticed Severus was leaving.
"Back to my room."
"Wait. Why weren't you at the party?"
"I didn't want to go."
"But the professor thought you were coming."
"The headmistress?"
"No, Prof. Slughorn."
Severus shrugged. He did not care what Prof. Slughorn thought or said. The man only started taking an interest in him after he became Minerva McGonagall's ward.
"You're the reason I went, Sev."
"No, I'm not. You've gone to them before when I wasn't invited."
"That was then. This is now."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You know."
"Why do you say I know when obviously I do not know what you are talking about? I do not appreciate it when you tell me what I know, think or how I feel, Lily. It makes my input superfluous since you've already made up your mind."
"What?"
"Everything. Everything you find wrong with me. Stop bothering me."
"Bothering you?"
"Yes. You aren't here to see the headmistress at all, are you?"
"I am here to see her."
"About something you couldn't talk to her about when you saw her earlier? You have to take advantage of the fact you know I'll open the door so you can wait here. You think you're special? You get to wait in the headmistress' rooms, when no other student does?"
"I'm not special."
"If you're not special, why not go to her office or your head of house?"
"Prof. Kettleburn won't do anything."
"Why not accept it? Lesser students would."
"What's wrong with you, Sev?"
"The arrogance of Gryffindors. Everything should be made perfect for them. Everyone should cater to their whims. If someone says 'no', go ask someone else."
"You're a prat. A boy attacked me."
"One?"
"Yes."
"Can't you hex him?"
"I could."
"I think that would make a better impression on him than losing points."
"He lost points."
"Than what would you like Prof. McGonagall to do? Give him detention? Or would you rather have him expelled?"
"I don't know, but he has to be punished. He pulled down the front of my dress and showed off my bra to another person."
"So only two people saw your undergarment? What's the big deal? A whole crowd saw me lose my trousers and pants, and no one lost points. There were even prefects present. I believe one of them verbally taunted me, rather than take points from my attackers. I was the one in the wrong. Perhaps you are wrong too. Isn't it your fault you're wearing that dress?"
"What? Why are you making this about you?"
"It's called empathy, Evans. I'm trying to imagine how you felt. Let's see, did the second person cheer your attacker? Something similar to the repeated chant 'Snape, Snape, Snivelly'? Did they find your bare skin something to laugh at? Your undergarment open to ridicule? I'm quite able to envision your humiliation, Evans. However, I think this might be the point where I realize you are probably at your lowest emotionally, and I should say I'm not your friend and I never want to speak with you again because you hang out with giggling, vacuous dunderheads like Mary MacDonald."
"You're such a toerag."
"Defending MacDonald? And after all the things she says about you."
"You're not going to turn me against my friend, Sev."
He sneered, "Friends are so important, aren't they?"
"Not yours."
"I have to agree. I had a friend once."
Seeing Severus meant to have the last word and retreat back to his lair, Lily called out, "Who's fault is that?"
Left alone, Lily paced. How dare Severus be such an annoying pain in the arse. He was the one that thought he was special since his parents died. He missed a lot of classes, got animagus training, lived with Prof. McGonagall, got to eat on his own, and command house elves. With Voldemort and his Death Eaters, Severus was not the only student that had lost a parent or family. As a prefect, Lily had kept on top of that, in case a student needed comforting. Unlike Severus, most students had wonderful, nurturing parents that they missed terribly.
Feeling that she needed to resolve this matter, Lily hit Sev's door with the flat of her palm multiple times.
Severus answered it, asking, "What now?"
"You're being unreasonable."
"Me? You are the one who said I was a Death Eater."
"You called me a mudblood."
"Are you rating verbal insults on severity?"
"What?"
"Being called a mudblood is infinitely worse than being called a Death Eater, even with my apology?"
"Why are you rehashing that old argument?"
"Because you don't speak to me. You speak for me. What proof do you have that I became a Death Eater?" Severus knew he was mincing words. He was not a Death Eater, and neither was any student at Hogwarts, as far as he knew. All the Slytherin boys in his year were going to join up after graduation, and Severus was inclined to also, if being a half-blood could be overlooked, simply for the benefits of having a group accept and welcome him. It was protection for him, and maybe Lily too. Now, he had to consider Minerva McGonagall. She would be severely disappointed if he joined, so he had to think about it more.
"You hang out with those evil boys and know Dark Arts."
"You flit around with MacDonald and the rest, yet I don't claim that you are only good at beauty and eavesdropping charms."
"You're one to talk about beauty charms."
"If you only came here to argue with me, leave."
"You can't ask me to leave."
"I can. You know Prof. McGonagall is not in my bedroom, but you knocked on my door anyway, rather than waiting for her. It's about time you found out how normal students are treated, Lily, rather than running to the head each time a Gryffindor thinks he or she is not suitably worshiped."
"Worshiped?"
"Yes, worshiped. Laws and rules are for lesser beings. You, Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, Dumbledore. Although you have not aspired to their level of criminality yet. Unless you are here to have Prof. McGonagall cover up a murder attempt."
"If I was going to murder anyone, it'd be you."
"Join the queue."
"You're delusional if you think people would waste their time on you, Sev."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because I can't let Willie Zeller get away with how he treated me."
"Zeller? That dopey Hufflepuff beater? What did he do, drool on you, or ignore you?"
"I already told you, he pulled down the front of my dress."
"Did he trip?"
"Ha ha, Sev. Unlike you, some boys are interested in seeing my tits."
"I've seen them," he replied with a shrug.
"What? When?"
"Not this summer, but last summer. And other summers before that."
"Spying on me through my bedroom window?"
"No, it's some of the tops you wear. There's loose ones with no sleeves, and then the tight ones that you pop out of."
Lily's face colored. She knew exactly when that happened. Her tube top from a year earlier was too tight, but she wore it anyway. One big jump was all it took to bounce out.
Recovering, Lily stood straight and declared, "That was years ago, Sev."
"Oh?" he asked, reaching out and copying Zeller's move by pulling the front of her dress down.
"What are you doing?"
"Taking a look. Isn't that what you were inviting me to do?"
Severus went a step further and pulled Lily's bra forward then up.
Lily's hands started slapping at him as she complained, "You're not supposed to do that." It was only because it was Severus, and Lily believed him when he said he had seen her tits before, that she did not hex him on the spot.
"I'm tire of being patient with your teasing, Lily. Come in so I can close the door."
Since Severus had a handhold on the middle of her bra, Lily was jerked into his room.
"You can play with me too."
"Who said I wanted to?" she challenged. Lily certainly was not going to be easy for whatever Sev had in mind. Besides, she did not want to do anything serious before she was married. He knew that.
"You'd rather make up meaningless conversation, and never get around to saying anything that you mean, Lily?"
"How do you know what I mean?"
"How do you know what I mean? Didn't you like feeling me the other day? I don't have to open my trousers, if you prefer it that way."
"Why do you want to?"
"I've been thinking about how we did not finish, and that perhaps you wanted something more."
Lily let Severus turn her around so her back was to his bed, and let go of her bra. It stayed pulled up on its own, framing her bare breasts on top, while the rolled down dress pushed them up from beneath.
"Maybe I saw more than enough, Sev."
Now that Severus knew that Lily was snogging or whatever with Zeller, on top of whatever she had done with Potter, he did not see any point in treating like glass. Why couldn't she be interested in him? He loved her. He loved her like no one else could. Why did she have to be so terrible to him now? They were supposed to be friends forever.
"I doubt you saw your fill."
"Fine then. Take your clothes off."
Severus paused, then repeated, "You want me to take off my clothes?"
"Yes, all of them."
Thinking she was up to something, Severus suggested, "Yours too. We can do it together."
Lily frowned. Her clothes?
Severus did not wait for a response, since she suggested they disrobe, and stepped next to Lily to look at the back of her dress. He found the hook above the zip, and opened the back.
"Sev ..." Lily warned, "I didn't say you could undo my clothes."
"I'm not suggesting skyclad magic, Lily. Touch me."
"Skyclad …?" Lily started to wonder, then refocused on the matter at hand as Severus put his hands on her shoulder to slide the unfastened dress off. "You aren't getting undressed."
"You haven't done anything yet," he responded, lifting his arms.
Unsure that Severus really meant this, since he usually even wore long sleeves in summer, Lily confirmed, "Take your shirt off?"
"Don't worry, the rest will follow."
Lily grabbed the bottom hem of his undershirt and lifted it up, commenting, "I'm not sure about all of it coming off, Sev."
"My clothes or yours?" Severus asked, aiding Lily with getting his shirt over his head before resuming getting the thin straps off her shoulders.
"Uh, mine, yours, both ..." she answered, eying his chest. Severus was certainly not the first man she saw without a shirt on, but he looked wrong. That was the simplest word for it. Lily already knew that his skin was an unhealthy shade of paleness tinged with a hint of yellow, but his nipples were really dark. Quite unlike her pale pink ones, that Sev just brushed with his fingers while taking off her dress. It was not surprising that his chest hair was black, but there was little of it up here. The line she observed below his belly button was the heaviest growth currently visible. His physique was more a layer of sinewy muscle over bone, with his ribs visible even after he lowered his arms. There were also marks that were not as severe as what Lupin did to his back, but why did Severus have any other scars? Was it the Marauders? Was it his parents? Asking would make him moody. At the moment, Lily suspected Sev had been drinking or something to act so unusual.
Remembering the stories, that may hold no semblance of truth, about the difficulty of gracefully getting a brassiere undone, Severus lifted it up and over Lily's head without unfastening it.
Lily felt silly in her half slip and stockings with her whole upper body exposed, but Severus put one hand under her chin and gave her a kiss, rather than focusing on her bared chest. He followed that one with another kiss while stroking her cheek, and Lily felt his other arm go around her to pull her close. Their bare skin was now pressed together. From their positioning, Severus could not see her breasts at all, only feel them against his chest while he continued kissing her.
For now, Lily was thinking, it was odd that Severus concentrated on solely kissing her. He was not bad at it. Had he been practicing with someone? She knew how boys were, and even though they did kiss, they always wanted more. Sev already had her dress off, but he was not looking at or touching her anywhere forbidden. His eyes were closed. Unsure of where to put her hands, they went behind him. She had momentarily forgotten about the raised marks from the werewolf because Severus' tongue had worked its way into her mouth, but now that Lily found them, she traced them slowly with her fingers.
Severus felt Lily tracing the worst defacement on his back. He was not concerned. She knew it was there, and had seen it before. Was it fascinating to someone as beautiful as Lily? She had asked to see his scars before.
Although Severus was kissing nicely, Lily wanted to see more than his face. She pulled back, commenting, "That's lovely, Sev. How about you show me some more?" Lily put her hands to the front of his trouser waistband.
With only having the tales of others to go by, Severus thought perhaps that even if it was true that girls liked the heavy petting, kissing and sighing first, that might not apply to Lily at all. She wanted what she wanted, when she wanted it. That was Lily with a capital 'L'.
Seeing an opportunity to get on the bed with some grace, rather than continuing to stand or give Lily an ungentlemanly push, Severus attempted to peel off his trousers and underpants as naturally as possible as he climbed up to the pillows. With Lily's insults of his parts, perhaps the blankets would give him an opportunity to cover up what she was not interested in.
On the bed? Lily was momentarily alarmed that this was going too far. Besides getting a rather shocking view of Sev's backside. It was more than Lupin's claw that hurt and marked him. Why did everyone want to hurt Severus? At Hogwarts, he was not the 'Snape boy from Spinner's End'. What made him so different that people took an instant dislike to him so strongly that they wanted to cause him injury? It just wasn't immature toerags that claimed he deserved it for existing. What was Dumbledore's reason for encouraging it? That old man was a monumental hypocrite, and Lily was glad he was exposed for what he really was. It certainly did not help with Severus' paranoid ideas that people were out to do him harm.
Severus knew he failed to look enticing from the way Lily was standing at the foot of the bed, looking uninterested. Why did she do things like this? He asked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing … well, not nothing, but you took all your clothes off and I'm uh ..."
"You don't have to, Lily," Severus interrupted. He knew that some things took convincing. Lily was headstrong, even if she wanted something but wanted to act like she did not. Severus knew what he wanted, and he would not get his cock in Lily if she decided to grab her clothes and leave. Short of petrifying her. If she teased him like last time, he might just do that.
"Well … uh ..."
"If it's not something the both of us want to do, than we'll do something else."
"No, it's not uh … that … y'know. It's maybe …"
"Did I kiss you wrong? Tell me what you'd like, Lily. I can get under the covers or turn off the lights, if the sight of me disturbs you."
"No! I … you're fine, Sev. It's me," Lily responded. It probably took every ounce of Sev's courage for him to take off his clothes. She did not want him thinking the wrong thing. "I … I mean, you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but I'm not sure."
"You've touched me before. I don't mind. Come on up here."
Lily's eyes focused on Severus' penis. It was still big, even when it was flopped onto his testicles. She also thought about those photographs. Was he going to ask her to put it in her mouth? That was disgusting. He peed with that.
Since the look Lily was giving him was not promising, Severus repeated his offer, "Should I dim or get rid of the lights?"
When Lily shook her head 'no', but did not move, Severus crawled back down to the foot of the bed. He then asked, "What am I doing wrong?"
"Oh, it's … uh … nothing, Sev. I … you kissed me really well. It was lovely."
"I'd like to kiss you more, Lily."
"Just kiss me?"
Severus wanted to do a lot more with Lily, so answered, "Don't you want to touch me too? You did ask for me to take all my clothes off."
"Yes, but um …"
"You couldn't have thought I was not ugly under them."
"No … no, I mean, you're fine, Sev."
"Something is bothering you."
"I … let me look at you a bit first," Lily said, afraid of what was going to come out of her mouth. She did not want to hurt Sev's feelings.
"Like how? Should I lay down or something?"
"Yeah," Lily readily agreed.
Severus was trying to think of how to make things go better. Like before, Lily was losing interest.
"You're so beautiful, Lily."
It's not the first time Severus admitted something like that to her, however, now was different. The way Sev said it made Lily tingle all over. She knew he meant it. He probably deserved something nice in response. Unfortunately since he mentioned her looks, that might be what Lily should compliment in return. Not that Sev wasn't smart, ambitious, resourceful and hard-working. He was naked. As she asked.
Lily's fingers touched his knee then slowly worked their way along his thigh to his hip. Severus had no difficulty keeping his eyes locked with Lily's, but her eyes alternated between his eyes, her fingers, his penis, and all the rest of his bared skin. It was a lot to focus on.
Impatient to have something happen, Severus put his own hand on his cock and stroked it, pulling the foreskin back, while watching Lily's eyes widen. He manipulated it slowly while watching her.
Lily pulled her hand off Severus' hip, and touched the end of his penis with a finger, then added a second to cover more area as she circled them around the tip where the opening was. At the moment, it was a thin, closed slit, but she felt it was still intimidating looking.
"May I touch you while we kiss?" Severus asked. Lily was currently not in the right position for kissing mouth to mouth, but if his face was in front of hers, she'd no longer be staring at his body.
"Yes," Lily replied, pleased that he asked.
Shifting, Severus lined up his mouth and put his free hand on her cheek to begin snogging Lily again, before tracing her jaw and her throat slowly moving downward.
Lily had many thoughts going through her head. She knew she should not be doing this, but why did it feel so good with Severus? He made her so angry sometimes, especially doing things he wasn't supposed to … like this. They weren't supposed to be doing something like this, but this was not the same as that other stuff. This felt more weird than wrong. Pleasantly weird.
Severus had not thought a girl's tits were so malleable. He used both hands to explore Lily's since she had taken over wanking him. She was not very good at it. That could work in his favor since Lily might be planning on leaving as soon as she got to see him soil the sheets.
It was naughty to want Sev's hands to go right to her breasts so Lily had patiently waited for him to reach them. Maybe that was a mistake. Unlike Zeller, Severus did not squeeze them like testing a piece of fruit for freshness, but lifted and stroked them. If there was a right way, Sev must know it because his fingers kept going back to the wide base then sliding closer, ending with her nipples caught between his thumb and forefinger for a moment before he repeated the same motion.
After minutes of Severus torturing her, Lily pulled her lips from him and demanded, "More."
Severus took the opportunity to nudge Lily and get her lying on her back before lowering his mouth to her pointed, aroused nipple.
The feel of Sev's mouth on her there was so intense. Lily's attention focused solely on what Severus was doing to her breasts with his mouth and hand, while ignoring his other set of fingers slowly dragging circles over her stomach.
He assumed he was doing this bit right because Lily was gasping, squirming and sighing. Lily had not taken off more clothing so there were three sets of waistbands setting up an elastic border at her waist. Quite unfair, considering Lily asked him to bare everything.
An unexpected touch made Lily jump. Sev had wormed his fingers into her knickers and was touching her where he shouldn't. It was weirder than what he was doing to her breasts.
"Stop that."
"Why?" he asked, letting his mouth leave her nipple make a very audible pop. "I can feel you like it."
"What?"
"Here," he explained while pushing one of his fingers where it did not belong. "You like it."
"Nonsense. Get out of there."
"I can feel it, Lily."
"No, you can't," she argued, pulling on his wrist.
"What?" he exclaimed, letting Lily pull his hand out of her knickers. He took a brief moment to look at the shiny wetness on his fingers before showing Lily, "See. Nothing wrong with it. It's like me saying I don't like you touching me when you can tell you get me hard."
Lily's lip curled up in a snarl. Then she got fed up when Severus took that hand and rubbed it on his own penis.
"What are you doing?" she asked in disgust, pulling her hand away.
"It's from you, dunderhead."
"I know that."
"It's not poisonous," Severus claimed, then licked one of his fingers.
"Ugh."
"Can you try to act your age, rather than a child, Lily? We're sixteen. Let me get back into your knickers. You didn't give yourself a chance to enjoy it."
"Why would I enjoy it?"
"Because I want you to."
Lily did not want to agree with Sev, but curiosity won out. It would be on her terms though.
"So what do I get if I let you get your hand back in my knickers, Sev?"
"I cannot offer some guarantee since I have never tried this with you before."
"Tried what?"
"Diddle? Is that the word you use?"
"Huh?"
"To get a girl off by rubbing her?"
"Why would I use a word like that?"
"Never mind. Lean against me," he suggested as he shifted to allow Lily to lie full-length against him.
"Sev, my back will be against you."
Annoyed, Severus pulled one of Lily's legs over his, slid closer so his cock was under her bottom, and filled his hand with one of her tits while getting his knees bent upwards to keep her legs apart.
"I can reach everything this way," Severus replied, placing his other hand on Lily's stomach and sliding his fingers under her waistbands.
Lily squirmed, complaining, "What about me?"
"Keep rubbing your bum against me, if you want."
"I can't see it."
"Can you be quiet and concentrate on what I'm doing to you?"
"Sev..."
"Give it a try first."
Lily was not sure if she felt strange because Sev was touching her where he shouldn't, or there was something to what he was saying. She had feelings for Sev. Rather hard to define feelings since he was so frustrating with his stubbornness. However, in Lily's book he was not the boyfriend sort or someone to try out snogging with. Though there was something about the way his fingers were caressing her. He was also licking her ear lobe and kissing her neck.
Wriggling her bottom against his cock was more effective than Lily's half-hearted wanking. The additional bonus was although he had never done this before, Severus could tell Lily was enjoying what he was doing to her … until she changed her bloody mind again. The nonsense about a woman's prerogative was pure shite. Was it Lily was different than other girls? All girls were problems? Or was it Severus? If Lily did not get him off tonight, he would never have the patience to try this again.
Both knew when the successful moment came, after minutes of Lily getting fingered, since Lily screamed, "Sev," lifted her rump, held her breath while holding herself off the bed, and then dropped hard with a bit of a twist so his parts got slammed by her hipbone.
Pushing her off and rolling into a protective ball was hindered momentarily as Severus had to get his right hand out of Lily's knickers.
Annoyed at getting dumped on her side, Lily asked, "What's wrong?"
"You nailed me in the 'nads, you s..." Severus grunted out, stopping himself before the insults left his mouth. That would be typical. Lily got what she wanted, and he'd be left in pain. Except this time it would be on a physical level, rather than her usual spiteful digs at whatever she found fault with. His parents, his looks, whatever the headmistress said, sorted into Slytherin, not going to Slughorn's party, some idiot Hufflepuff … all worth a shot to the bollocks. No. No more. He rolled off the bed and picked up her clothes and threw them at her as he found each piece. "Just get out."
"It was an accident, Sev."
Accident, his arse. He was not falling for it. Severus did not care if this was the only chance he got to be with Lily or any girl. He was not going to tolerate this any longer.
Lily threw her clothes back at Severus, yelling, "Stop being such a toerag, Sev."
One minute, Sev's giving her the time of her life and being bloody brilliant with whatever he did to make Lily feel whatever that was, which was extremely naughty because he did a lot of touching where he shouldn't, and the next he's going crazy over a little mishap.
Voicing what she thought the problem was, Lily claimed, "It's that potion. The Slytherins are right. It has made you stark raving mad, Sev."
"What? What does that have to do with you slamming into my nuts?"
"I hardly brushed them. You're all Jekyll and Hyde."
"What's that?"
"God … or Merlin's butt crack!" Lily declared, putting her hands on her hips, while still kneeling on the bed.
Severus gave Lily an indignant look of disbelief. Was he supposed to take her seriously when she was topless and kneeling on his bed? What was that Jackel and Hide? How could she be serious when referring to a children's game?
Sev was one to be making faces. He wasn't wearing a stitch.
"Get back on the bed, Sev."
"Why?" he asked, already knowing the real reason. If he did not want to do something, Lily wanted him to do it.
"Why not?"
Severus only answered in his head, why are you starting a childish argument?
"Get back here," Lily urged.
"Can't you just go already?" Severus asked. He did not like using magic unnecessarily on Lily. She had a terrible temper. Lily also did not respond in kind. Either it was miserable snooty silence, or something ten times worse in response. The only fortunate thing was she did not make up her own spells.
Rather than crawling on the bed to Severus, Lily stood and took a hop over to him. Severus leaned back, unsure of what Lily was doing. It had been years since he saw her physically attack someone.
Lily missed Sev's shoulder and arm as he twisted away, flailed her arm upwards, and caught a clump of his long, black hair, urging, "Stop goofing around."
In order to avoid pain from Lily pulling his hair, Severus leaned back towards her. She surprised him when she dropped to her knees and kissed him, while still clenching his hair in her fist.
This was confusing. Severus allowed the kissing to continue, pressing himself against the side of the high bed's mattress to protect himself, in case Lily was tricking him in order to give him another shot below the belt. Perhaps Lily was right. This potion was making him addled so he'd let her stay here with him.
Now that Lily got a hold of Severus, she was not sure what she should be doing. Part of her simply wanted to smack him. Another part was curious about what he had done that was so bloody brilliant, but also knew that that sort of thing could lead to things she did not intend to do before marriage, and then there was the Lily that had originally intended to get a better look at Sev's … thing after the bloody party that the idiot decided to skip. She had been trying to get back to that before all the snogging and uh … that brilliant part.
Severus was not reassured by Lily's hands roaming over his bare skin. He had flashes of painful memories, but the potion Madam Pomfrey gave him kept them confined to quick thoughts, keeping him unable to brood upon them. It still did not soothe the general feeling Severus had that getting undressed had been a bad idea. Letting anyone look at him was always a bad idea. He hated this potion. Severus admitted it was miraculous that he was snogging Lily while she was kneeling topless on his bed so … that meant something truly bad was going to happen to him. Though he couldn't contemplate what in order to prepare or try to circumvent the worst from happening.
Lily thought Severus was a real knucklehead. Dense. Real dense. He was keeping his thing hidden by keeping his body pushed against the side of the bed. She could touch his hips and bottom, but nothing in front, below his waist.
"Get back up here," Lily urged, releasing his hair. "I want you."
Lily wanted him? No. Yes? Maybe. Severus was not sure. It was not something Lily had said before, even when they were in the midst of always remaining each other's best friend. Was she trying to trick him? He did not want to get hit like that again. That would probably be pretty funny to her. Tricking him into letting her hurt him again.
Cautiously, Severus got back onto the bed. They shifted about so they were lying beside each other and after a few tentative kisses, Lily's fingers traced their way from Severus' shoulders over his chest, towards his waist, then lower. Severus waited for some erroneous movement to incapacitate him again, but it did not come.
Lily's frustration grew when Severus took hold of her wrist and pulled her hand away from his penis.
"What?" she asked.
"I don't want to do that now."
"Why?"
"You hurt me."
"I didn't hit you hard."
"Hard enough."
"Why are you being such a toerag?"
"If you're going back to that, I repeat, I would prefer you left."
"You don't want me to leave."
"Are telling me how I feel again?"
"Yes."
"You don't know how I feel, Lily."
"Tell me, Sev. Surprise me."
"What? I don't want you hurting me. That's not a surprise."
"Why would I hurt you?"
"I don't know why you hurt me."
"If you are talking about me falling on you, that was an accident."
"You've hurt me more than that, Lily."
"Tell me."
Severus looked downcast as he looked away from Lily, and muttered, "Why? So you can take advantage of me by knowing what hurts most?"
"No, I want to know because I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You were supposed to be my friend, Lily."
"I was your friend, but then you were with those boys."
"This is an argument I'll never win with you. You've made up your mind."
"So you're saying you're hurt because you got sorted into Slytherin?"
"No, I am hurt by your actions."
"Can you be a little more specific?"
"Not now. I can't concentrate on the negative while on this potion."
"Can you say anything?"
"What if my mother was the only person that will ever love me?"
Severus' words were unexpected. Lily responded, "You just have to be nicer to people, Sev, than they'll like you."
Under the bed, a cat could not believe that is what Miss Evans responded. Minerva had thought she would find Severus either reading or asleep, rather than having discarded female undergarments thrown on the floor. She had come in when Severus was saying that Miss Evans was supposed to be his friend. Minerva was not an affectionate person normally, but compared to the rest of Gryffindor, she might as well be called as warm and fuzzy as a Hufflepuff. What was she to do?
