i don't know what i'm doing

also nepeta's typing quirk is screwed up on ffnet's formatting


At Fault: Chapter 29

-arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]-

AC: :33 *ac runs and hugs tavros*

AC: :33 *then curls up next to him*

AC: :33 *hello ac says*

AT: hELLO, *i SAY BACK,*

AC: :33 i'm so excited for vacation!

AC: :33 and christmas!

AC: :33 i love not having to worry about classes

AC: :33 *ac giggles*

AT: *jOINS IN THE LAUGHS, bECAUSE i TOO AGREE THAT IT IS, wONDERFUL NOT HAVING SCHOOL RIGHT NOW,*

AT: *aND THE FACT THAT cHRISTMAS IS SOON,*

AC: :33 *ac jumps up and joins in excitement!*

AT: *tRIES TO JOIN BUT, rEMEMBERS MY LEGS AND INSTEAD FALLS OFF MY CHAIR,*

AC: :33 *ac frets and pats him*

AC: :33 sorry! :((

AC: :33 *ac picks you up and puts you on her shoulders!*

AC: :33 *ac is STRONG!*

AC: :33 *ac giggles because she copied equius*

AT: *aND i, aPPRECIATE WHAT YOU ARE DOING, bUT i AM SORT OF HEAVY AND i PREFER BEING IN MY, cHAIR,*

AC: :33 *sorry she says! she puts at back in his wheelchair*

AC: :33 but yeah, really excited

AT: oH, sAME nEPETA, iT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS OF VACATION AND, mY STRESS HAS REALLY GONE DOWN, bECAUSE IT WAS REALLY HIGH EARLIER DUE TO, aLL THE CLASSES AND PROJECTS AND EXAMS,,, }:/

AC: :33 yeah :\\

AC: :33 but it's okay because break!

AC: :33 you doing anything cool?

AT: oH, i'VE BEEN FLARPING WITH aRADIA FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT NOW,,,

AT: sINCE NO SCHOOL OR HOMEWORK TO INTERRUPT US, wE'VE GOTTEN SOME SERIOUS GAMING IN,

AT: iT'S VERY, uH, sICK, }:D

AC: :33 thats cool!

AC: :33 but aren't you tired? *ac frowns*

AT: vERY,,,, i KEEP ALMOST FALLING ASLEEP, oN MY, kEYBOARD, }:(

AT: aRADIA JUST WENT TO BED, nOT TOO LONG AGO, bECAUSE SHE STATED HOW TIRED SHE WAS,

AT: i WAS JUST COMING ON PESTERCHUM FOR A MINUTE TO SEE IF, aNYBODY WAS ON,

AC: :33 *ac grins mischievously*

AC: :33 you mean your boooooyfriend?

AC: :33 :oo

AT: wELL, yEAH, bUT HE WASN'T ON, pROBABLY WORKING,

AT: bUT THAT IS ALRIGHT, bECAUSE, yOU'RE ON, }:)

AC: :33 well thats alright then!

AC: :33 i was actually gonna ask you a question

AC: :33 but youre tired so i dont wanna deprive you of sleep

AT: oH, wELL, yOU CAN STILL ASK, mAYBE, iF YOU WANT,

AT: i AM NOT SO TIRED i CAN'T ANSWER A QUESTION,

AC: :33 oh alright

AC: :33 well actually i was gonna ask if you wanted to go shopping with me later!

AC: :33 i gotta shop for my bros and sises so i was wondering if you wanted to go with me to shop for your friends or family?

AC: :33 equius says he can drop us off at the mall but he has to go do something for the day

AT: wELL, tHAT DOES SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA, i WANT TO UM, lOOK FOR SOMETHING FOR gAMZEE AND MY GRANDMA,,,,

AT: mY GRANDMA, sENT ME SOME CHRISTMAS MONEY EARLY, wHICH WAS VERY KIND OF HER, sO i THOUGHT i WOULD GET HER SOMETHING EXTRA, uH SPECIAL,

AC: :33 awwww thats nice!

AC: :33 what about gamzee

AT: i HAVE AN IDEA, bUT UM, oNLY AN IDEA, i AM NOT COMPLETELY SURE i WILL GO THROUGH WITH IT, oR NOT,

AC: :33 what idea? :oo

AT: nOT TELLING, yET, };) iT'S WHAT ONE WOULD CALL, a SECRET,

AC: :33 ohhhh

AC: :33 alrighty!

AC: :33 but i expect you to tell me at some point! :/

AT: yEAH,

AT: sO WHEN DO YOU WANT TO GO ON THIS ALLEGED, 'sHOPPING TRIP'?

AC: :33 i was thinking this afternoon when my parents get home

AC: :33 since i have to watch my siblings!

AC: :33 but if you're tired...

AT: nO, tHAT IS FINE, i CAN TAKE A SHORT NAP OR SOMETHING, }:)

AT: sPEAKING OF NAPS, i AM ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP, sO i WILL MESSAGE YOU AROUND THREE OR FOUR,

AT: uNTIL THEN, i THINK IT WOULD BENEFIT ME IF i SLEEP NOW,

AC: :33 yes!

AC: :33 *ac hugs at*

AC: :33 bye

AT: *hUGS BACK,*

AT: bYE, }:)

-adiosToreador[AT] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip[AC]-

Tavros barely had the energy to roll away from the trash-covered desk (left-overs of his all-nighter) and make it to his bed where he stripped to his boxers and threw himself into the covers.


Tavros woke up around three. He was groggy, and he couldn't really see straight. His head and eyes begged for sleep, but he forced himself into his wheelchair and into the bathroom to get himself cleaned up. Quickly, he washed his face, teeth, and mohawk in the sink, and pulled on some clean clothes; a black shirt with a Pikachu on the front and a pair of jeans. They tangled a bit, but he ignored it as he tiredly returned to his computer and logged back onto pesterchum. After checking with Nepeta real fast, he found out that she and Equius would pick him up in 20 minutes. He used his spare time to pick up his 'station' of trash, and prepare it for the next all-nighter.

When Nepeta and Equius arrived, it was a short drive to the mall.

"You two better not waste anytime; this isn't a couple of teenagers on an outing." Equius warned, not unlike a fretful parent.

Nepeta rolled her eyes dramatically, "We can still have fun, you know."

"Not when you need to be done at a certain time. There is a time, and a place, for fun."

She replied with a mumble that couldn't be heard from the backseat where Tavros was, so he let it go.

When they made to to their destination, Nepeta leapt out eagerly and went tearing to the entrance, only remembering when she was halfway through the front door that Tavros was having issues. Equius rolled his eyes, probably at Nepeta's haste and cluelessness, and helped Tavros instead.

Once that was taken care of, Nepeta waved Equius off quickly before turning to Tavros, her eyes gleaming, "I love shopping for other people! This is gonna be fun, no matter what grumpy-butt says."

"Oh, good."

"First, we can go to the toy store, so I can shop for my younger siblings! Is that okay?"

"F-fine with me, I have no, specific place I can think of right now."

Nepeta replied, "Great!" Then grabbed the back of his chair and practically ran towards the said store.

"You d-don't have to, uh, push me!" Tavros tried to tell her, but of no avail, she just kept pushing until they both almost steered straight into a group of people. They managed to swerve out of the way, but they still received confused and dirty looks.

Upon arriving at the pink and baby-blue themed store, Nepeta finally began pushing his chair at a normal pace, "I figure you're all tired still! So don't mind me pushing your wheelchair around!" She explained as she weaved through the isles.

Eventually she selected some useless toys and trinkets, among other things, and left Tavros to browse on his own. He was only shopping for his grandma and Gamzee and maybe his friends if he came across something. There certainly wasn't anything in a toy store for them! He ended up in the plush section anyway, looking around seemingly absent-mindedly. He sort of had a thing for plushies though- they were soft, and usually pretty adorable to look at.

"Hm, uh, I wonder if Nepeta would like one of these..." he thought to himself as he plucked a cat plush from the selections. It was black, with dark blue paws and ears. It reminded him of the hat that Nepeta would sometimes wear, which was the same shade of blue.

He ended up buying it for her.

Tavros met her outside the store a few minutes later, in her hands two bags filled with things. In his lap was a smaller, dark brown bag that hid her Christmas present.

"Ohhhh! Found something?" She observed, craning her neck and trying to peer inside.

"Yeah, but, you can't see it." He explained, giving her a weak and unreal glare.

"Heh, alright. Now I gotta find something for my parents. How about you?"

"Um.. Something for my grandmother, and Gamzee. A-also, going to try and get something for Aradia and, Jade, if I can."

"What, nothing for me? I'm hurt, Tavros!" Nepeta replied, in a mostly teasing manner.

"What do, you think, is in the bag?"

They continued their trek around the area, trying to find stores to buy presents. Eventually, Tavros picked up a few things for his grandmother- a small statue of a wolf posing on the edge of a cliff. It was perhaps eight inches tall or so. His grandmother had a habit of collecting little statues. He wasn't sure if she had a wolf, and if she did, hopefully it wasn't in such a stereotypical also went and bought a new fancy collar for her dog.

Nepeta stopped in a hunting supplies store and marveled at the hunting knives. Somehow, despite his love for animals, and how he tried to be a vegetarian, two of his closest friends loved to hunt. Although Nepeta couldn't buy any of the knives since she wasn't old enough, Tavros wished he could have boughten one for Jade. Instead, he ended up buying her a dark, fluffy hat with earmuffs and dog ears on the top. It might come in handy for nights in the mountains, when it's all cold. He'd have to get it to her before she left, though.

Despite Nepeta not liking it, he bought something for his dad too. A beer mug with his favorite sports team on the side. He didn't want to get very fancy with the gift, for obvious reasons.

Finally, it was time for Gamzee's gift. He had been putting a lot of thought into it, but now that he was actually confronted with having to go and buy it, the idea wasn't so appealing anymore.

Nepeta, holding a total of four big bags filled to the brim, watched him expectedly, "Ready to go? Equius'll be here soon."

"Uh, I need to get something for Gamzee."

Her eyes brightened, but fell as he entered a music store and browsed the rap section (primarily the terrible rap section). "Is this really your present for him? Isn't it sort of... plain?"

"Oh, um, this isn't all of it." Tavros replied as he carefully selected CDs he knew Gamzee would love. "I have another, idea, I just, m-might be stalling."

Tavros paid for the CDs and put them in the big bag on his lap that was overflowing with gifts. It was poised to fall soon, so he wanted to hurry and finish their shopping.

Only, he had no idea where to look for the rest of Gamzee's present.

"Uhm, hey, Nepeta?"

"Yeeeeees?"

"For Gamzee's present, I'm not, s-sure where to look?"

Nepeta appeared curious, "Well, I'm sure I can help. What are you looking for?"

Tavros scratched his head; this was a lot easier in his head. "Well, I was simply going to combine his birthday present, w-with his Christmas present, since his birthday is the 24th.

"Whoa, really? That's paw-some, having your birthday a day before Christmas."

"Y-yeah! Well, a little bit ago, uh, I promised... sex on his birthday-"

Her face lit up; not with a blush, but excitement. There didn't seem to be a trace of embarrassment.

"-yeah, so-"

"-so you need to make a romaaaaaaantic atmosphere?" Nepeta finished, leaning down excitedly. (Though not that much, she was rather short for her age.)

"Well sort of, I-I just am not entirely sure, perhaps, that I know how to prepare. And it would be beneficial if, I was prepared- please, stop laughing, uh..."

"Sorry," she managed, "Just, I think I know what you're saying. Come with me!" She spun around, "I just hope Equius doesn't come looking for me. He'll throw a fit if he finds us in this store."

A bit scared by that, he followed his mirthful guide through the mall until they stopped in front of a dark store. Inside was along the lines of indescribable; the walls were black and lined with several accessories. It seemed that everybody in the store either lurked, or were loud and raucous young adults and teenagers. Nepeta guided him to the back of the store, where shelves were lined with things he'd rather not look at or think about.

"Ah here we go-!" She sang and pointed at one of the shelves. Lining the shelves were tubes and rounded containers of lube.

"Oh, uh, so many different kinds..." he murmured; looking at the several dozens of selections with different flavors and wondering if he made some sort of huge mistake.

"Yup! And over here, need these too, right?" Nepeta asked as she turned the corner.

"Those too... I guess? But, why, it's not like I will be able to, er, impregnate him."

"Oh condoms have their uses, Tavros."

"Oh..."

"Look! They have glow in the dark!"

"Um."

"And different flavors- look at all these!"

"Uh-"

"-what size are you?"

"-N-Nepeta!"

"Well?"

"H-how should I, possibly know that?"

"You're right, can never be too careful." With that said, she shoved at least four or five boxes at him, all different sizes and colors.

"Oh you didn't grab any of that." She swerved past him.

"Nepeta... I think you're being, rather overbearing, and perhaps helping a bit too much, on this..."

"I just wanna help, Tavros." Nepeta replied earnestly. "I want you to be happy with Gamzee, and get e-fur-ything right!- ah ha!" She selected some and shoved it along with his box of condoms. "Anything else?"

"Thank you... and, hmmm... I don't know, I've never been in a, sexual situation before, um, are there... candles involved?"

Nepeta shrugged, "Sometimes. Might just be in the movies though." The grin returned to her face, "You should get some anyway!"

"Oh god-" Tavros started as Nepeta swung behind the wheelchair again and quickly went to the cashier lady. He paid for the things, earning strange stares from the people around him, and then was wheeled out of the store.

After buying some candles, among other things, and after feeling genuinely silly about the whole ordeal, they left the mall in time to meet Equius out near the front. On the way home, he logged onto his phone's pesterchum.

-adiosToreador [AT] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]-

AT: 3

TC: tAaAaAaV. :o)

TC: 3

TC: sUp My LiTtTlE bRo?

TC: HeArD fRoM eQuIuS yOu WeRe GeTtInG yOuR bUsY oN wItH nEpEtA aNd ShOpPiNg.

AT: oH, yEAH,

AT: jUST GOT DONE IN FACT, aND CURRENTLY i AM HEADING HOME, }:)

AT: bUT WHEN WERE, uH, yOU WITH eQUIUS? }:o

TC: JuSt NoW bRoThEr. I wAs JuSt GeTtInG mY cHiLl On wItH hIm.

AT: oH, aLRIGHT,

TC: gEt aNyThInG gOoD wHiLe YoU wErE sHoPpInG?

AT: oH, yEAH i DID, i BOUGHT GIFTS FOR SOME OF MY FRIENDS, aND MY GRANDMA AND DAD, aND YOU OF COURSE,

AT: bUT YOU CANNOT KNOW WHAT IT IS, iT'S A SECRET, }:x

TC: cOuRsE TaV. ;o)

AT: i'M HOME NOW, i'LL TALK TO YOU SOON,

TC: sEe Ya tAvBrO.

AT: 3

TC: 3

-adiosToreador [AT] ceased pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]-