AN: Updates are going to be when I can squeeze some time in so no promises but lots of reviews means I'll try that little bit harder to find some time. You wouldn't believe how much work I have to do.
On the other hand – wasn't that just the best news from Holby HQ recently – everyone's favourite Swede is coming back! Wahoo! That's definitely got me wanting to write a bit more, and conveniently enough, it near enough fits into where I want this story to go and the last couple of chapters which I've already written!
Anyway, back to this version of Holby and it looks like someone's got some explaining to do!
Enjoy.
… ...
"His son... oh shit."
It becomes obviously rather quickly to Eleanor that Serena didn't know about Hanssen's son and another day, Serena would've been amused by the almost comical, wide-eyed stare her daughter gives her, the teenager stammers something, obviously expecting an explosion from her mother. Serena however, doesn't over-react, in fact, outwardly, she's barely reacting at all – her mind has almost stopped in its tracks as she replays Eleanor's words to make sure that she hasn't misheard what her daughter said.
She hadn't.
Deliberately staring at the TV, more to avoid looking at her daughter than anything, Serena stares at the screen, paying no attention to whatever it is that passes for drama which is playing itself out in front of her. She can feel Eleanor's gaze on her and when her daughter gets up and leaves the living room, heading towards the kitchen, Serena breathes a small sigh of relief, closing her eyes for a moment of two.
"He has mentioned his son once or twice."
"his son..."
"Mum." Eleanor's voice gets her attention and she looks up to find her daughter stood in front of her with a glass of wine held out for her in one hand. Serena's eyebrows raise even more when she sees that Eleanor has poured herself a glass too.
"Bribing me with alcohol in the hope that I won't notice your sneaky and not exactly small glass of plonk?" She drawls, nonetheless accepting the proffered drink – she could do with it right about now. "Do you really think that's going to work?" Eleanor's expression is a curious mixture of stubbornness and sheepishness and apparently ignoring Serena, she collapses on the sofa next to her.
"I had no idea you didn't know-" Eleanor starts to explain.
"It's fine, Ellie." Her daughter doesn't look convinced. "Really. It's a shock. Quite a shock, admittedly but I'm not angry." It almost surprises Serena that as she says it, she finds that it's true – she isn't angry. Not yet anyway.
"I heard you and Henrik arguing in the kitchen."
"We weren't arguing." Serena ignores Eleanor's sarcastic snort. "It was just a disagreement; he was being difficult about a colleague he used to know who was working at the hospital today." Serena trails off, wondering if Hanssen's behaviour towards her was because he and Maja had been...
She dismisses the idea the more she thinks about it – Maja had been perfectly cordial towards Hanssen, something that Serena herself still can't manage with Edward, no matter the setting and if the two Swedish doctors were no longer involved in a romantic relationship but had a child together then there's no way they'd be capable of hiding it.
"It didn't sound like just a disagreement." Serena is almost tempted to remind Eleanor of the scale of the rows she and Edward had but her ex-husband has no place in this conversation. "Why did he say he was on a night shift if he was working today then?"
"He may have been called in." Serena answers, neither of them really believing her words and they lapse into a somewhat awkward silence.
Not too long after, Serena picks herself up off the sofa and heads off to bed, trying to project some kind of normality by reminding her daughter not to stay up too late doing her French coursework before making her escape to the sanctuary of her bedroom.
Recently Serena had started to believe that Hanssen had begun to trust her, his actions belied his affection for her but she's at a loss to understand why he would keep something like from her. She'd never made any secret of Eleanor.
It's late by the time that Serena finally drifts off to sleep, despite her best intentions, her thoughts running in circles, failing to understand what goes through Hanssen's mind. She spent quite a while staring at the ceiling of her bedroom, trying to picture the impossibly tall Swedish surgeon with a son without any success – the man can barely interact with adults, let alone children. Serena had started to regret not asking Eleanor for any details and whatever time it was now, it was far too late to ask.
She's spent what feels like hours lying awake, tossing and turning as sleep eludes her and her mind insists on replaying various moments from their relationship, both professional and personal. Serena's last conscious thought before she falls asleep is that she hopes Hanssen isn't about to make a mockery of her, the way that Edward did; she hopes that history is not about to repeat itself.
…
Hanssen's car is already parked in its usual space by the time that Serena pulls up the next morning; as she approaches, she debates parking elsewhere but the memory of having to wrestle with Michael Spence's 4x4 is enough to act as a reminder to not be so daft and with only a momentary outward pause, slides the car into its usual spot.
"One Americano please." Serena finds herself stood next to Sacha Levy as they queue at Pulses café for their early-morning caffeine hits. The registrar is telling her something about his son and although Serena isn't especially interested in the toddler's latest achievements, she is a little glad that Sacha's rambling means she doesn't have to contribute to the conversation.
The registrar makes no move to exit the lift after the two nurses who get out when the lift stops on the floor for AAU, explaining that he's on his way to Keller to speak to Ric. Serena nods and smiles a little wanly, she's not in the mood for an extended exposure to Sacha this morning; even though she didn't drink anything other than the glass of wine that Eleanor poured her, Serena's head feels stuffy.
Serena gladly leaves Sacha and Ric talking by the nurses' station, as they attempt to locate a scan on an iPad and she continues on to her office, tapping out the security code and exhaling in relief when she closes the door behind her. The first task of the morning is done – get into work without bumping into Hanssen; she can decide how she wants to approach him later, if at all.
Her desk is exactly as she left it yesterday, there's no sign that the Swedish doctor, Maja Johansson was ever in the room, let alone commandeering her desk for several hours. Serena still doesn't know what role the blonde woman plays in this whole, slightly odd scenario but she finds herself glad that she's gone.
…
It's dark by the time that Serena has done enough paperwork to justify leaving the rest of the work in her in-tray. As she sends the last email, she takes a deep breath in and stretches, trying to ease the kinks, listening with some satisfaction as joints click and relax. Leaning back in her chair, she exhales slowly, tired muscles protesting the slightly hunched position she's been in for the last couple of hours.
She hasn't seen Hanssen all day resulting a curious blend of relief and something else. Two electives, routine but time-consuming, combined with a small mountain of paperwork have pushed the Swede out of her mind, mostly. Once she's made up her mind to leave work, it doesn't take Serena long to close her computer down, gather her things together, shrug on her coat and leave the office, turning out the light as she exits.
"See you tomorrow." She strides off the general surgery ward, only noticing Malick's call at the last moment.
"Good night, Mr. Malick."
"Have a good evening."
The double doors by the nurses' station leads onto a small landing area, with more doors leading off to the side-room, the lifts and the stairs. Serena heads for the stairs, taking a moment or two to pause as she debates whether to head to the fifth floor and speak to the Swede about what Eleanor had said or whether to leave it, head down the stairs and go home, curl up on the sofa with a glass of wine and some naff TV.
"Damn you, Henrik."
Serena mutters, spinning on her heels and heads to the fifth floor, reluctantly deciding to speak to Hanssen before the 'issue' of what he told Eleanor can fester and cause any damage to their relationship. As she ascends the stairs, Serena muses that it isn't so much what he hasn't told her – frankly in this job, they all keep information hidden from colleagues as a matter of course – but rather that he did tell Eleanor.
And by telling Eleanor, does that mean that Hanssen still doesn't trust her?
It's that which will fester, in her mind at least and cause resentment if Serena does not address it now. She doesn't want the next time she sees Hanssen to be in a meeting with other consultants or worse, stood over a patient in theatre because it will affect her, him and maybe others and that's not acceptable.
Stepping to one side to allow someone else onto the stairwell, Serena steps onto the carpeted fifth floor corridor, which once led to her office. At no point does it occur to Serena that if this situation had arisen with Edward, she wouldn't have given him the same benefit of the doubt that she's giving, possibly naively to Hanssen. She doesn't particularly want to have this conversation but they need to talk; if Hanssen's apparent unwillingness to trust her is symptomatic of something fundamentally wrong with their relationship, then they can't carry on and it would be best for everyone, involved or otherwise, if they were to split.
Serena's decision to come and find Hanssen is a moot one; when she gets to the CEO's office, she finds it locked and in darkness. Almost huffing, Serena turns around and retraces her steps, carrying on past Keller and out of the hospital, straight out into the dark night, the drizzling rain not helping to improve her mood.
Hanssen's car, the familiar black Volvo has gone, all that remains in his assigned parking space is a patch where his car stood, it's still quite dry so she can't have missed him by long. The realisation causes her to sigh. She debates going to his house, to speak to him but Serena dismisses that idea a few moments later; not only does she not actually know where Hanssen lives, her mobile phone battery has died so she can't ring him to find out.
With no other option, Serena puts the car into gear and reverses out of her parking space and heads home, away from the hospital and into the wet, dark night.
By the time that Serena pulls up at her house, the light, earlier drizzle has turned into thick, heavy raindrops which pelter the windscreen. Having no will to hang around and get unnecessarily wet, Serena tugs her back from the passenger seat and opens the car door, slamming it shut behind her and almost running up the path to her front door, engaging the central locking once she's sheltered from the rain.
Serena steps through the door, aware that she's dripping wet, even from the short journey from the car to the front door. Eleanor is halfway up the stairs on her right, already in her pyjamas even though it's only 8:30, she turns and looks a little guilty. The hallway is hot, almost like a sauna, usually Serena would nag Eleanor about the cost of heating bills but right now, she finds herself grateful, even if it means that she's liable to start steaming at any moment.
"Hi Mum." Serena greets Eleanor with a damp smile as she shrugs out of her coat and hangs it up, careful to put it on a hook over the radiator so there is at least a fighting chance of it being dry by the time she needs it tomorrow morning.
"Grandma's gone to bed already, she said she had a headache and I'm having an early night – there's a film on Netflix that I want to watch." Serena nods silently, the slightly sinking feeling in her stomach telling her that she's being left alone this evening when what she really wants is to chat to Eleanor, have her daughter distract her from the previous 24 hours. "Night Mum, love you." Before Serena can suggest that they could perhaps watch the film together, Eleanor has disappeared up the stairs and away to her room.
Kicking off her boots, Serena heads up the hallway towards the kitchen, trying to work out if she wants a glass of wine or a cup of tea or whether she should just go straight to bed, have an early night herself. Apparently her subconscious has decided on tea because Serena finds herself filling and boiling the kettle on autopilot. She retrieves two mugs from the cupboard only to grimace and put one back – she's become quite used to Hanssen's regular and rather comforting presence in her house.
A mug of steaming tea in her hand, Serena plugs her mobile phone in to charge and moves towards the living room to turn off the lights which Eleanor had left on, having decided to have an early night after all when she stops in the doorway – her daughter's and her mother's disappearing acts this evening suddenly making sense.
Henrik Hanssen is sat on her sofa, fast asleep.
… …
AN2: It would seem that Serena has been tying herself in knots a bit but her day isn't over yet. Next time - she and the big H have their 'talk'! Does it go to plan, as Hanssen tries to explain the small matter of Fredrik...
Would love to know what you thought :)
