A.N- If anyone's still reading this- Happy new year! Thanks for reading!
29
'Kyle?' The redhead gasped under his breath as he heard Kenny's voice, his attention zooming out into the world around him. 'Are you okay, beautiful?'
Kyle looked down and noticed that his spoon was cluttering against the rim of his soup bowl, creating almost waving ripples in the watery liquid. He tried to still his shaking hand, but it wouldn't listen, so Kyle let go of it, almost chucking the thing into the soup.
'You have a cold or something? Dude, you're shaking crazy.'
'I'm—' Kyle was going to object to Craig's question almost reactively, but restrained himself from doing it. 'Yeah, actually, I think I'm a little cold.'
He got up, taking his tray with him indicating his leave.
'You do kinda look pale, now you've mentioned it. More than usual, that is.'
'Oh, God, Jesus! Whatever it is don't give it to me, I don't wanna become a zombie!'
'How the fuck did you reach that conclusion?'
Kyle's lips twitched in a weak smile as he watched the three banter like children, which they still were come to think of it, children, that is. But his smile froze as he saw Kenny looking at him from the corner of his eye, observing him carefully with a coat of deep concern over his face. Instinctively, Kyle averted his eyes, scared that Kenny might see through the white lie he had just told.
And Kyle couldn't tell the truth.
When he returned back to his cell, Kyle lied down on his own bed. The first time he did since he had his fight with Kenny. Inside his sheets felt cold, and his mattress hard, but that didn't compare to the uneasiness of sleeping on top of Ike's words. It seemed as if every time he moved, with every squeak his mattress made, the words from his brother would seep in through the mattress and reach his body, whisper into his veins:
You will soon hear my voice again. And you will soon see my face again…
Kyle let out a choked gasp of pain. It felt as if his ribs were collapsing, fragments of broken bones sinking into his heart and lungs. He forgot how much it hurt. How much true fear hurt…
'Hey, Kyle…' Kenny's soft voice said not too long after Kyle had gained his isolation. Kyle didn't say anything, didn't move a single muscle and pretended to be asleep with his nose almost touching the wall he was facing. But how could Kenny tell that he was awake? 'You're sleeping in your bed again?' Kyle could hear the resigned smile in his voice.
'I told you, I'm sick… I don't want you to catch it.'
'Well, whatever you have, it's not physical, I can tell. And sorry to say, but I've already caught it.' Kyle slowly looked up, and Kenny responded with a troubled shrug. 'If you were physically sick, you probably would have hid it until you collapsed onto the floor all burnt up. But you said you're sick to try and cover up something worse. Much worse. Something in your head.'
Kyle couldn't help but snivel, gritting his teeth behind curled lips as his eyes began to flood. Kenny leaned down beside his bed, elbows on the mattress and his chin in his hand.
'How can you see so much of me?' Kyle asked through a rasp whisper.
'Because I watch you all the time.'
It was too much. All Kyle wanted to do was curl up alone and wait until his nightmares of pain consumed him. The fear of waiting for terror to happen was so much worse than whatever it was that could possibly come, anything, at least, what Kyle's mind would let him imagine. And Kenny's kindness was not helping. This shining star in his dark pit was giving him a hint of hope too painful to bear.
'Kyle, what's wrong? You haven't been like this since… since you came out of isolation… Did something happen? Did someone threaten you? You know I won't let a single soul brush a finger on you.'
Kyle shifted in his bed to face Kenny and lightly brushed the back of his finger against Kenny's cheek. There was a rough texture to Kenny's skin, more than his own. There was also less fat, the skin tightly pulled against the cheekbones around his tired blue eyes. He was almost fully grown into an adult body, and Kyle wondered if he would ever grow as old as him.
'You make me feel strong Kenny… You give me a glimmer of hope but… right now I can't take it. I don't want to fight this fight. And I don't think I can. All of me wants to just give into it…'
Kyle's finger fell, and Kenny let it as he was suddenly caught by Kyle's words.
'What are you talking about, Kyle? What fight?'
Kyle smiled, he tried to at least, but Kenny's magnificent blue eyes made him feel like he was being stabbed in the stomach by a blunt bread knife.
'There's no fight.' He said, and looked up at the dark ceiling. There was never a fight. Just the pain of acceptance, if it were to come.
If it were to…
.
There was definitely something wrong with Kyle, Kenny could tell. He didn't have a fever, he didn't make a single cough, but he was as pale as death and he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone if he could avoid it. Kyle had confessed that it probably wasn't a cold, but instead said that he had a stomach-ache, mild but constantly present in the pit of his belly. This was more believable. Stomach-aches weren't a rare occurrence in prison (some took the youths with them), and Kyle had his back curled ever so slightly, as if there was something heavy in his stomach pulling him down, so he looked the part. He was even teased by Clyde that he had probably got "knocked up" by Kenny and was having "baby cramps", which won an unlikely death-glare from the redhead that silenced the brunet for the rest of the hour (quite the achievement to shut the brunet up, Kenny thought).
Kyle still let Kenny kiss him, but it was only dry kisses, a touch of the skin before Kyle would pull away just as he was about to close his eyes in the melting sensation. He had returned back to Kenny's bed though, which was something to be relieved about. At least, that was until Kyle asked this casual question while they were cuddling in the small bed, trying to go to sleep:
'Hey, Kenny?' Kyle whispered. Kenny responded with a moan, his eyes shut and on the brink of consciousness. 'Will you be able to live if I ever left you?'
Kenny chuckled through his nose and shuffled in the sheets slightly at the question, but still didn't open his eyes. He didn't take the question too deeply. He almost thought it was cute, that Kyle was acting some sweet melodrama, a romantic side of him that he rarely expressed so straightforwardly.
'Kyle, I spent the first seventeen years of my life living without you. I think I will survive.'
Kenny finally opened his eyes to see Kyle's reaction. But he merely saw the redhead's eyelids slowly fall until they covered his eyes. He couldn't tell if fatigue had finally pulled Kyle into sleep, or if Kyle had closed his eyes satisfied with the answer, but somehow, his lack of a reaction made Kenny think twice about the question. He lied. He survived the first seventeen years of his life without Kyle because he didn't know that such a boy existed. Now that he knew him, he didn't know if he could live without him, as he did before, and that was definitely melodramatic, but it was a true doubt.
It's probably like a younger sibling. You live the first however-long it is without them before they're born, but once they're born, they're part of you. They're family, and you can never go back to how you were without them, even if they are somehow lost forever. Did that mean Kyle was his family now? After all these years he lost his family and home, he had somehow regained it? Possibly. To let the Prince quote the King: home is where the heart is, and so Kyle was now his home.
Maybe he should have told Kyle this, but now all he could hear was Kyle's steady, sleeping breaths.
Later though, Kenny would definitely come to regret not telling Kyle this. He would regret not taking Kyle's question seriously, and he would pay for it.
Because Kyle did take it seriously.
.
'You knew this was coming…'
Damien looked down at the question: his obsidian eyes glimmered red as the pupils stretched down to the bottom of their sockets. Kyle's fingers were entwined in the metal wires of the fence, looking into the horizon with wide eyes. The lakes and small rivers that were created by the Long Rain were still there. More rains came after that, although they were probably closer to showers. Small patches of watery clouds passing by once a week or so, nothing too heavy, but mind-blowing compared to the earth-crackingly dry climate of before the Long Rain. So far there was no revolution, as Damien had called it, on a human level. But maybe it was the ecosystem that he was talking about. A climate revolution.
'I did.' Damien said, his pupils returning to the horizon. 'I don't know why you're injecting a hint of malice into your voice. I thought I was being quite obvious and that you were sure to have figured it out. But then again, you did know, didn't you?' Kyle's fingers dug slightly deeper into the metal. 'You're just trying to blame me to make yourself feel better. To distract yourself from your own fear by being frustrated with me.'
Kyle glared at Damien, hissing with his eyes, warning Damien to shut his mouth. Damien accepted these eyes with a weaker glance, his shoulders slightly falling.
'I understand it. And I would be happy to work as your distraction. But you shouldn't have to be so afraid. You are stronger than you were the last time you were with him. You have confronted his phantom. You were able to control him, and what is about to come is merely a solidified version of that ghost. It is alive and it can bleed, but it is still only a monster. And you know what you have to do if it comes daring to attack you.'
'But he's my brother…' Kyle's lips moved but the voice didn't come out. Still, Damien heard his words and he could have sighed at them.
'He's your brother. He's your monster. He's dangerous. And he doesn't have the right to hurt you, nobody does. Just like you believe everybody else has the right to not be harmed by others. You are no exception to your rule.'
Damien smiled, the first proper smile that pulled the sides of his lips into his white cheeks. The gesture morphed the perfect features of his face into imperfection, but it also made him much more bright and warm than ever. Kyle couldn't help but smile invisibly back. It was the first time he had done so in a few days. It felt like an eternity. Kyle sometimes wished he could think of himself as he did everyone else. To treat himself as human. But somehow, that didn't come naturally to him.
Black specks were appearing on the horizon. Trucks. Kyle knew even before he could make out the gusts of dust trailing behind the wheels. In one of those trucks, Kyle knew, there was his brother, sitting, cramped against two other boys, rocking along with the bumps of the ground hitting the wheels. He would be sitting with his back straight, just like Kyle had been. His eyes focused, face calm and expressionless as to not reveal a thing to a soul around him. Thinking. Thinking about Kyle, as Kyle was thinking about him.
'Doughnuts.'
'What?'
Kyle looked down. Damien was staring at him with casual, half-lidded eyes.
'Doughnuts. Donuts? Sugar-loaded bread-like batter deep-fried in oil. A small investment into a future heart-attack, enough to make even me feel mortal. One of the greatest things I miss from the twenty-first century.'
'Twenty-first century?'
'M-yeah. I'm a little older than I look. Anyway. Doughnuts. They're just too good to resist, heart-attack and all.' Kyle blinked with a confused pout until Damien jumped up onto his feet and grabbed Kyle's hand. '…Even for someone who hasn't eaten for three days out of sheer anxiety. Come.'
Damien began to pull Kyle out of the rooftop and down the stairs, a lively skip to his footsteps. Kyle had never seen Damien so comical and Kyle would have chuckled if leaving Ike's truck out of his sight didn't spike his fear.
'Where are you taking me?'
'A nostalgic place to you.'
Kyle couldn't guess until Damien finally pulled him through one of the doors on the ground floor of the North Wing. All the smells of every disgusting meal from the previous week instantly wrapped Kyle's mind and he cringed. They were in the kitchen.
Damien instantly let go of Kyle's hand and began to inspect the cupboards of ingredients and pots and pans. Kyle was feeling sicker with every second passing from all the smells but Damien was humming a little tune to himself.
'What's that song?' Kyle asked to distract himself. He thought leaving the kitchen without a word would be rude, so he restrained himself.
'What? Oh, um, you won't know it. It's an old song. "(Don't Fear) The Reaper."
The conversation didn't last as Damien seemed to be thinking of making something as he brought out a bag of flour, sugar, eggs and other small ingredients.
'This is a rare time of day when the dish-duty and food-duty inmates have their breaks overlap, leaving the kitchen completely empty for a whole hour.'
Kyle watched as Damien began to mix the ingredients, pouring in the flour and sugar without measuring, kneading without a single muscle in his face tensing, except for his smile slightly growing.
'I'm going to cheat and take a short cut,' Damien said as he placed the dough in a steel bowl. 'Just pretend it rested for an hour or two.'
When Kyle looked down, the dough seemed to have grown double in size. At first he thought he had gone mad, but then he realised this was Damien working, the most mysterious, magical boy he knew.
'Oil one-eighty degrees, check,' Damien said, pouring oil into a pot. The liquid instantly began to boil the second he finished pouring. 'Insert the dough.'
Damien sent Kyle an amused glance as he waited for the dough to fry. Kyle didn't know whether he should be salivating or churning, but either way he was feeling an uncomfortable tightness in his stomach that needed attention.
'I think your stomach's finally began to catch up with your malnutrition,' Damien laughed, taking the doughnuts out of the pot.
'Or I'm just feeling sick,' Kyle grumbled. He sat down on a nearby stool, his eyes closed and his hand over his mouth. The smell, the sound of sizzling oil, reminded Kyle of the acids in his stomach, which he could almost taste on the back of his tongue. He sat and waited impatiently for Damien to finish whatever dark-magic potion he was making.
'Kyle… Kyle, you can look now.'
The redhead looked up. Damien was smiling at him with a glowing plate in his hand. Kyle didn't want to look at what Damien had on that plate. He didn't think his stomach could take it.
'Come on kiddo. You're not as weak as you think you are.'
Damien leaned down to be eye-level with Kyle and presented to him the plate. There were over a dozen balls of pastries, their steamy yet crispy skin an illuminating golden. Slowly, the strain in Kyle's pale face began to soften as he stared at the doughnuts in awe, but he showed no sign to take one.
'Well?' Damien shook the plate, rolling the doughnuts around for some motion. 'Aren't you going to try one?'
A moment passed of Kyle staring at the golden pastries on the plate.
'I'm afraid to…' He finally said, looking down as if the temptation of the desserts were sending guilt into his stomach.
'There's nothing to be afraid of.' Damien reassured. 'I am the only one watching.'
Kyle looked up again, and finally his hand reached out for a single doughnut. It was warm: almost burning on the tip of the fingers as it left a glistening coat of grease shining on his skin. Kyle took a bite. He was slow, his chewing and tasting and swallowing were slow, but his reaction was quick as tears soon came streaming down his face.
'I knew it…' Kyle said once the small doughnut was consumed. Tears were still leaking out of his eyes, even as he wiped them off with the back of his hand. 'I couldn't control myself…'
'Tastes that good huh?'
Kyle chuckled weakly, hiding his eyes with his forearm.
'Yeah… Warm and sweet and soft… It tastes perfect. It just tastes too perfect…' It was as if each bite of the doughnut was being transformed into tears and trailing out of his eyes. Everything that he had been holding in were now unlocked, unguarded, just because of one simple dessert. 'I thought I was stronger than this.'
'Than what, a doughnut? I didn't take you as a person who would equate strength as being able to kill and hide all of one's emotions. Or are you a hypocrite?' Kyle let out a chuckle again. 'No. I didn't think so. You know where your true strength lies.'
With these words, Kyle finally let his arm drop away from his eyes to show that his tears had stopped. He turned to Damien and smiled.
'I know Dee… It's the only strength that has kept me alive until now.'
But at the same time, it's the gravest weakness…
Both boys had the thought wash through their minds, but neither dared to speak it.
'You know Damien, I still don't know who you are,' Kyle said as he took another doughnut, not crying this time as he ate it. 'You're not a human being. You talk about strange things and you can disappear and appear pretty much anywhere you like. Sometimes I think you don't even exist except for in my mind, but everyone else sees you, so I'm relieved to know that that isn't the case. All I know is that you're a nice person, and that you help me, whether for good or for bad, and I appreciate that…'
'What are you talking about, silly child?'
Kyle laughed and sniffled embarrassingly.
'All I am saying is that… I can wholly trust someone who can make something so delicious.'
Kyle indicated the doughnut in his hand, uneaten, smiling with puffy eyes, and Damien smirked gently.
'I'm getting a feeling that this is going somewhere…?'
'Just a favour. It's nothing compared to what you've already done for me.'
'Shoot.'
The smile dropped from Kyle's lips, but there was a warmth left in his eyes. He took the uneaten doughnut in his hand and placed it back on the plate. Damien closed his brows together at this.
'I want you, to stay out of it this time.'
'What?'
Kyle looked away towards the wall, as if he was staring through it to the trucks on the other side.
'There are new arrivals who have come here today. We both know who one of them is.'
'You think I would do something to him?'
'Wouldn't you?' Kyle asked. 'I'm afraid that I would… I might do something to the person who was… who was… hurting my friend…'
Damien didn't reply immediately. His black eyelashes quivered slightly as he looked down in contemplation, before answering:
'Unfortunately Kyle, I don't protect you because I consider you a friend.' The redhead blinked, slightly taken aback. 'I protect you, because I'm interested in your potential to influence the world around you. I am merely interested in what you have to offer in the future. So don't worry Kyle, I will do nothing to the person approaching the doors of this prison. What happens to him is up to you. He's your challenge.'
Damien took a doughnut between his fingers and plopped it into his mouth in one bite, his subtly pointed teeth digging into the golden flesh of the sweet.
'This is your last supper before the plunge. Take in the energy.'
And with a wink, Damien left, leaving Kyle alone in the kitchen, alone not only in a physical sense, but also with a heavy sense of loneliness dug into his chest from Damien's unusually distant and cool words.
But then again, Damien's cool and distant words may have been appropriate.
After all this was Kyle challenge. This was Kyle's shadow that he had to face.
The redhead's hand reached for one more doughnut. It was still warm, and that somehow made him smile.
'Damien… I don't know if you're still listening but…' Kyle looked up, his eyes fluttered around before they rested down embarrassingly. There was no one. 'Thanks for the treats. I will need the energy.'
After finishing his doughnut, Kyle found a paper bag to carry the rest of his doughnuts in and hid it under his shirt. The rest would be for his friends that had been worrying so much for his ghostly aura over the past few days.
On the way out of the kitchen, on the small blackboard hung on the wall beside the door, Kyle found two words that were not there earlier:
"yOur wElcOme"
.
Kyle smiled. He showed his teeth. He chuckled. He laughed.
'Don't laugh,' Kenny said, rubbing his knuckles under his nose and sniffling. There were hints of tears in his eye.
'I'm sorry, it's just- I never imagined to see someone, let alone the Immortal Prince, cry from eating. ' Kyle was also amused that Kenny made the same reaction as him to eating the doughnut, but decided not to say that.
'You say that-' Kenny sniffed, 'You say that but you can't even imagine how I feel right now… I've never eaten something so sweet and tender. Not in years. It just… Fills me up with happiness, like each bite is a cupid shooting an arrow right into my brain. It's beautiful.'
The smile stayed on Kyle's lips as he watched Kenny finish his doughnuts. He reached out and combed a loose strand of Kenny's blond hair behind his ear. The contact, small yet the first intimate physical connection they had in days, left a warm and slightly awkward air around them.
'You need to get a haircut,' Kyle chuckled embarrassingly. Kenny was staring at him, his gaze and mouth agape, which made Kyle push his own curls back behind his ear and roll his eyes. 'Yes, I know. My curly hair hides the fact but I guess my hair's longer-'
His sentence was almost cut short as Kenny dropped the half eaten doughnut in the paper bag and he leaned in to connect his lips with Kyle's. His lips were a mixture of grease and powder, oily and sweet. It lasted for a long moment, just enough to identify the taste, and then Kenny pulled back.
'I guess you're not gonna let me touch you with greasy hands, yeah?'
'Definitely not,' Kyle laughed, breathless. Kenny was rolling his fingers against each other, feeling the oil coating them as he pursed his lips regretfully. 'Just finish your doughnut Ken. We can do- whatever later.'
Kenny sank back down obediently with the paper bag and took the doughnut out, but his face didn't melt in its deliciousness this time as he took another bite.
'You know, these little sugary things are delicious but- they just ain't you.'
'I'll be offended if you said they were.'
Kenny looked up to see Kyle with a cheeky grin. Kenny wriggled his eyebrows seductively in response, making them both burst into laughter: warm, childish laughter.
.
There was a strange calmness inside him, like the still, smooth air after a storm, the clear, cool air after a rainfall. But this was before the storm. Kyle could feel and hear his thoughts clearly now, not anymore wallowing in his soul-grinding fear. This was a good state for him to be in, strange, but good, especially as he was making his way to the cafeteria for dinner.
'Something is telling me, that you're actually going to eat something today,' Kenny said hopefully.
'What are you talking about? We just devoured a mountain of doughnuts!'
'While I maintain that they were heavenly, I will not accept that was a mountain. More like a comfortable platform, I'd say.'
'What's this about?'
The couple looked back to find that Butters had joined them on their walk to dinner.
'Doughnuts. We had a secret sexy doughnut séance and you weren't invited.'
Kyle pushed Kenny by the shoulder as the blond chuckled playfully.
'What's doughnuts?'
'Nothing,' Kyle put in. 'They're these round, brown balls that ooze when you squeeze them.'
'Gross…' Butters squinted. Kyle hummed in false agreement, making Kenny giggle. 'Are they all sticky?'
'Oh, yeah! Heaps sticky, just like my-'
A quick punch in the arm by Kyle was enough to shut Kenny up.
'Not before dinner,' Kyle warned as they arrived at the cafeteria entrance.
'I agree. It's more of an after-dinner thing isn't it? Or is it an afternoon thing, my delight?'
'You know, just because I'm in better spirits now doesn't mean you have to bombard me with dirty jokes.'
'Dirty jokes? Count me in!' Clyde's voice said. They looked back to find Clyde with his trey of food with Craig and Tweek right behind him. 'Craig like's a dirty joke too, don't you Craig?'
'If by dirty you mean your "head", and by joke you mean "through a wall".'
'Beautifully stoic humour as ever, Craig.'
The brunet's eyes widened at Kyle's light words. Kyle gave him a friendly, apologetic shrug, which made Craig's cool eyes soften into a smile.
'Today's soup doesn't look half bad. Pile it on, twiggy.'
'As much as physics will allow me to.'
With a light smirk, Craig turned to go to their usual spot, leaving Kyle with a warm but regretful feeling, wishing that he could have opened up a little more to one of his best friends. He always kept everything cooped up inside, whether that has or will ever help him at all… But still Kyle couldn't help but think that it was sometimes for the best.
'And people think I'm smart', Kyle mumbled to himself.
'Oh gee, you talk to yourself now too? Well tell yourself not to worry Kyle, coz I personally think you're a dumbfuck.'
'…Well how considerate of you…' Kyle mumbled plainly at Butters' mocking tone, ignoring the blond batting his eyelashes, pleased with himself.
The cafeteria was louder than usual with sizzling energy, no mystery there thanks to the new inmates. But the room also had extra weight in the air, neither cold nor warm but a temperature that stuck to the skin. Kyle knew what this weight was. It was fear, anxiety, leaking out of the newcomers engaging in their first meal in prison, if the food was even going through their throats at all.
Is he here? Kyle's spoon hit the side of his bowl. Is he eating his dinner right now? Is he somewhere in this room watching me?
'Kyle, you're doing it all wrong, you have to scoop it up and eat it before it becomes too soggy,' Clyde's voice called from somewhere in front of him. After processing it, the redhead snapped out of his head, seeing the piece of torn bread on his spoon in the soup. He returned fully to present as Kenny placed his hand on his shoulder and leaned into him, cooing sarcastically towards Clyde.
'Kyle is a delicate little flower, he needs to sog his bread in the soup for a long time to make sure the crusts aren't hard enough for his pretty mouth. Isn't that right Ky?'
'Delicate little flower- what?' Kyle frowned in confusion, pushing Kenny's head off of his shoulder, making him laugh. Craig rolled his eyes.
'Ignore them. Apparently how you dip your bread in your soup is a personality test now.'
'A flawed one at that too. What kind of a delicate mouth will be able to put the Prince's dick in it?' Butters snickered. Kenny laughed whole-heartedly for once at Butters' joke.
'One of a kind, baby. One of a kind.'
Kyle held his head in his hands.
'I am so fucking lost right now.'
'That's because you're sane.' Craig reassured.
'Oh God! Does that mean I'm insane!?' Tweek choked, reminding people of his existence.
'Dude, you know you're insane.'
Tweek contemplated that for a second, and slowly calmed down, agreeing with it.
Although Kyle's mind was clear, taking in his surroundings, his friends words, the taste of his food, he was still torn. He couldn't decide on whether to do one single thing: to look around. Just pop his head up, look to the right and left, a quick 360 degrees, and check if he was in the cafeteria. He knew that that was a decent thing to do, to look for your brother who just came to prison (if he really was there). But what stopped him was the fact that he didn't want to know. If his brother came up to him, Kyle would try to deal with it the best way that he could. But for now, he wanted to hang on to the hope that his brother had not come to prison. And if that turned out to be true, then good.
'Nghn, well, I don't really think that soaking your bread in soup until it gets runny is that weird. I mean, I get it. The more you sog your food the less likely the chance you have choking on it, right?'
The group paused for a second, all watching Tweek with an expression of "what the official fuck".
'That's exactly right grandma,' Kenny said. 'That's definitely why people dip their breads in soup.'
Kyle chuckled, which was followed by his friends' wild laughter. His own voice died down under the chatter in the cafeteria and the laughter of his friends, but that didn't matter. For that moment there was no him. There was just us.
Kyle's laughter was cut short though, with a small peck to the cheek. Kyle touched the skin and looked up, seeing Kenny's face barely inches away from his.
'I love your laugh,' he said softly, and he began to lean in. Kyle's braced himself, preparing himself for a kiss, but Kenny stopped right as their foreheads began to touch. As Kyle was in Kenny's shadow, he noticed something in Kenny's eyes. They were not focused on him.
'I thought so…' Kenny whispered to himself and leaned back out.
'You thought what?'
'Oh, nothing' Kenny shrugged with a smile. 'You still smell like doughnuts.'
'Really?' Kyle muttered quickly, bringing his shirt to his nose and sniffing it. God, Kenny had a good nose. Good thing Kyle was into hygiene.
Kenny kept on smiling a smile that didn't reach his eyes. His mind seemed to be somewhere else, even as his eyes were on Kyle.
The truth came out soon after dinner though, and with just a single word.
At first, Kyle couldn't process it. The word brushed through him like a soft breeze. But it must have been enough to get Kyle's attention because after a few steps, Kyle stopped. Maybe it wasn't the word, but the voice. It seemed so much older now, more so than in the thousands of times Kyle simulated this moment in his head, but the voice still belonged to the same throat. He didn't repeat the word, even as it took a whole minute for Kyle to finally turn around. By the time he did, all of his friends had already turned to the voice, but to them there was nobody else around. They were alone.
'Kyle…'
Before Kyle could even properly sink in the image of the caller, Kenny had already gone into action. He turned his heels, threw his arm forward and grasped the caller by the neck, pushing the kid a whole metre back until he hit the wall under the pressure of Kenny's grasp.
'You were the one watching us all night weren't you, kid?' Kenny breathed. The whole corridor had electrified into silence, petrified at the sudden burst of the Prince. 'You know, if there's one thing I don't like, it's people staring without permission. Spying, if you will. I find it quite impolite, even if it's only a little chum doing it.'
'Kenny!' Kyle cried in horror at the blond's sudden rage. He flew himself forward and pushed Kenny away, standing himself between the blond and the kid.
'What, Kyle? I was just scaring him a little!' Kenny pouted unhappily at Kyle's panting state.
It felt like the temperature in the room suddenly dropped a few noticeable degrees, and it made Kyle instantly stop his burning lungs. Blue eyes were watching Kyle intently through black eyelashes, waiting for Kyle to say what was on the tip of his tongue. He waited patiently without a single word, knowing Kyle's hesitation. Kyle could truly grasp it now. The ungraspable uncomfortableness Kyle sometimes felt when he was with him was now as clear as water. He could feel it: the sadistic eyes of a boy who could feel no empathy.
'This is Ike…' Kyle began slowly, giving into the patience of the boy beside him. 'He is my brother.'
Without even looking, Kyle could almost feel the hint of satisfaction glimmer in his brother's eyes.
'Your brother?' Butters said, unimpressed, with his hand on his hip. 'Good try, butterfly, but he doesn't look anything like you. He doesn't have your innocent gooey eyes.'
'We're not brothers by blood,' Ike said nonchalantly. His voice, hearing properly for the first time in over a year made Kyle's stomach cringe. It was like a chilly breeze that wouldn't blow past. 'Besides, even in the upper class Kyle's pure gaze wasn't that common. He is one of a kind.'
'He sure is,' Kenny grinned, giving Kyle a wink. But the redhead barely registered it. If anything, Kenny's wink only increased his fear, as the only thing he could think about was Ike's reaction to it, but he couldn't look at him to check.
'Aren't you going to tell me who your acquaintances are?' The cool voice came from Ike, although it could only seem cool to Kyle. With a stiff gulp, Kyle motioned his hand towards Butters.
'This is Butters,' he said, not making eye contact.
'Butters? You mean Leo?' Ike's brow rose.
'Oh, you've heard about me?'
'Yes…' Ike said with a smile more fabricated and shallow than Butters'. 'Quite a lot…'
'All good things I hope.'
'If prostitution and drugs are good, then yes. Excellent things.'
The air instantly froze. Kyle could feel the chill in the silence. Kenny looked dumb-struck, confused, and Butters, complete shock.
'Ike!' Kyle grabbed Ike's oversized sleeve and pulled him away from Butters. 'Sorry Butters, he didn't mean it. He doesn't know what he's saying.'
'What, you think I can't take a little boy's prick? He's your brother. I'm not surprised he has a lack of common sense.'
Kyle chuckled apologetically and continued to pull Ike by the sleeve.
'Thanks guys. I think I'll… Just show my brother around a bit for now… You go ahead.'
'I could come too?'
'No!' Kyle gasped slightly at his own raised voice. He looked at Kenny anxiously before adding on quietly, 'It's just, you know? Quality time with my brother.'
Kenny nodded, understandingly, but a little taken aback. Kyle tried to smile reassuringly, and pulled Ike through the corridor towards the courtyard door.
'Where are you taking me?' His brother asked.
'I need to get a few things straight with you…' Kyle answered without looking at him. He opened the courtyard door and pulled the two of them through. The echoing chatter in the hallway instantly disappeared as the door closed behind them. And just as the door closed Kyle's heart stopped, as two arms began to wrap around him from behind, squeezing his stomach almost painfully tight, as if closing a sausage.
'I missed you…' Ike's voice whispered. 'I almost died… Living so long without you…'
'It's only been a year,' an attempted laugh shrivelled up in Kyle's throat.
'Four-hundred and eighty-six days…' Ike said, his arms still squeezing around Kyle's sides. 'And everyone of them agonizing and long… But it was all worth it… worth it if I knew that I would see you again… and here!' Kyle jumped at Ike's sudden raise of voice. His arms let go as Ike twirled around to face Kyle. 'Here, in irony, this prison! Absolute freedom without mother and father to stop us! To deny and torture us! I don't know why you did what you did… But if it was to free us, and to unite us in here as free people then I understand why. And I thank you Kyle. Thank you, and I love you…' Ike almost sighed into Kyle's shirt as he hugged him from the front. 'I am so happy now…'
Kyle's breath was subtly shaking. He stopped his breathing, and then began again to check if it would calm his lungs down. But it didn't. His heart was beating fast in his chest, like the wings of a baby bird, fast and unsteady, scared that he might fall any second.
'Ike… this needs to stop…' Ike didn't move. He merely twitched with his nose still against Kyle's chest. Kyle let out a deep breath, not afraid to let it shake out of his mouth. 'It's not right… us being so close… it's not what brothers are normally like. We're too attached. It's not healthy. We need to grow up, and you need to grow apart from me.'
Kyle laid his hands on Ike's shoulders and pushed him away. There was shock in the young boy's eyes, enough to almost make Kyle forget his fear and break his heart.
'Why are you saying this?' Ike asked with a voice that almost evaporated on his breath.
Kyle placed his hand gently on Ike's cheek. The pain in those blue eyes was heartbreaking, but at the same time, sinfully satisfying. Kyle's hand travelled up, and his thin fingers brushed maternally through the black hair on Ike's forehead.
'Because you are right. This place is freedom, for the both of us.' And Kyle added, 'From each other.'
With that, Kyle smiled and turned around. And Ike stood there, watching with his hurt eyes gradually turning sharp and fierce as Kyle made his way towards the door to the West Wing.
