Silence.
The spaces between the four walls Diamond resided in were filled with his attempt at creating the illusion that he didn't exist. Each day had chipped away his motivation to do anything other than move as far away from his mother as possible. With only his pokemon to confide in, he felt increasingly isolated and plagued by his thoughts. He fought between two sides: what he actually wanted and his desire to please everyone.
He was very much in love with Pearl and could easily see himself spending his life with him but he also felt the pressure of his mother's expectations heavy on his shoulders. She made him second guess everything he had known and wanted, causing him to wonder at times if his thoughts were genuinely his own musings or her beliefs rubbing off on him like she intended. What he really needed was to get out of that house because nothing had seemed so complicated when he was out living his life the way he had wanted to.
At home she questioned his every action and rarely let him leave the house. Even grocery shopping was grounds for suspicion regardless of whether or not she sent him to do it. She had become so paranoid it was uncomfortable to be around her even when she wasn't trying to manipulate him and he worried she might actually have a breakdown if he ever came out to her out right. But it couldn't last forever so he tried to grin and bear it until an escape route presented itself.
She had right to be suspicious though. Every chance Diamond had he was with Pearl, even if it was only for painfully short periods, and they talked every day. Their relationship was hardly over like Johanna would have hoped and it wasn't going to end any time soon from what either boy could tell. As much as she tried to put it off as a confused affair, mistaking their closeness as friends for real romance, Diamond couldn't convince himself of it. There was nothing confusing about how he felt about Pearl, his mother really only made him toy with thoughts of compromising with her to stop her from being so controlling. He could do it if he wanted to.
But he didn't.
Diamond did, however, feel increasingly guilty. Not so much because of his mother but because he had put a wall between him and Pearl because of everything happening at home. He knew Pearl knew it, too. Behind the wall they were both suffering which tore him up inside but he couldn't tell Pearl without making things worse. If he knew everything, that he had even questioned their relationship or what his mother was subjecting him to, it would complicate his already tense though steady relationship. So he tried to act like he was more or less ok to keep up his façade but he could tell it was sucking the life out of Pearl. They deserved better, especially Pearl. He wished there were an easy solution to his plights but it seemed that short of leaving town, there were no options.
"D'ya eat all the cookies?"
His drowsy words were mumbled as his eyes alone moved to look at his munchlax on the bed beside him. A plate was placed atop his chest, three cookies miraculously untouched. Diamond took the soft cookie in his mouth, strands of gooey chocolate stretching as he pulled the main body away from his lips.
With a yawn sleep pulled Lax down heavy into the bed, head finding itself on the plush pillow with drowsily lidding eyes, content to sleep beside Diamond. The pokemon lay comfortably beside his depressive trainer, his uneasy stirring robbing his peace of mind for sleep. Peeking an eye open, he stealthily attempted to reach for one of the cookies, thwarted by his short arms with a heavy sigh of frustration.
"Smooth," Diamond laughed, handing him one consolingly. "Speaking of smooth, I wonder what's up with Pearl. He hasn't called."
He frowned as he moved the plate from his person, folding his hands on his stomach thereafter. He wondered what he was doing, the space beside him missing the more subtle weight of his blonde companion to contrast the heavy feeling in his chest. He couldn't imagine how nice it would be to have another warm body- human body, close to him while he slept. It had been so long and every day felt the same.
Speaking of which, he had managed to avoid seeing his mother all day by some amazing feat, only leaving his room when necessary. He didn't usually have the pleasure of actually being treated as though he didn't exist, surprisingly an improvement from being acknowledged those days. He waited, listening intently for the click of her bedroom door closing down the hall but heard nothing. He was hoping that he would manage to get through the night as well without her snooping but was not that fortunate.
The sound of footsteps ascending the stairs and approaching his door caused his body to tense, his anxiety flaring at the anticipation of her opening the door. Lax whispered something, patting his arm gently, but the intended comforting gesture only made him feel worse. The door opened unceremoniously and his mother appeared in the doorway, a vacant look on her face.
"Have you been up here all day?"
He rolled his eyes at her accusatory tone, "Not all day."
"Well, where were you then?"
"Where does it look like I've been?" He gestured at his pajamas. "I've been in the house."
She folded her arms, surveying the room suspiciously.
A silence fell in the room, guilt overtaking Diamond again as his bed vibrated with Lax's anxious shivers. He didn't understand how things could've changed so drastically in only a few months' time and wondered when she would just leave him alone.
"I'm surprised that phone isn't glued to your ear by now."
"It's not like you use it."
"Aw, did he forget?" She scoffed, feigning concern as she spoke.
Anger flared in his chest stirring him to rise though he abstained from expressing it outright. In a moment it was lost, only a heavy weight on his chest as he considered his words. There was no use reasoning with or reacting to someone like her.
"He never forgets anything, but thanks for your concern."
She narrowed her eyes, her attempt to shake him from her perspective clearly unsuccessful. She still hadn't figured out a solution to her own problem and was worried about the way the boys incessantly talked. Every time she heard the phone she wished it would be a girl but it was always Pearl without fail at the same time every night unless Diamond called him at some point during the day first. She huffed, she would think of something. She had to.
"I still don't see why you need to be on the phone for so long."
"I'm sure you had a..." He mulled over his word choice for a moment. "Best friend or something at one point. You should understand that."
"Forgive my suspicion."
"Of what exactly? That I'd rather talk to him than to you?"
"I don't remember raising you to be so sassy."
"Well I don't remember you being so… You know what, just forget it. Get out of my room."
She took a last look at him, he almost thought she looked guilty for the briefest second but it was just as quickly gone.
"We'll discuss this tomorrow."
He wondered if he was the only one to experience these brief flickers of raw emotion in others, like he was the only one who really saw them. Of course he knew this wasn't true. Pearl was the only one who ever really saw him, even when he wanted to hide it.
The tension in the air was exhaled, trembling through their chests as the door was sternly closed. He wished he actually could just disappear sometimes or just not exist within those four walls. He took his pokemon on his lap, hugging him close.
"He didn't forget. I don't even know why she said that."
Lax made a sound of agreeance, sitting back and pulling a berry from its fur.
"No thanks," Diamond smiled, his body fully relaxing once more. "Well, what do you say? Bed or do you want to watch a movie?"
BANG.
Both boys flinched, startled by the abrupt sound.
"Wh-What was that?"
They heard it again and he turned to look around the room. Hearing it once more he pulled back the curtain cautiously and flinched once more, hand on his chest as he breathed.
"Chahiko?" He sighed in relief, opening the window. "What's wrong? Why are you…?"
He took the envelope from its beak, the chatot perching itself on his shoulder.
"A letter? For me?" His voice was tinged with genuine skepticism, laughing lightheartedly. "I didn't realize people still sent letters like this."
Chahiko made an aggravated sound, a shiver ruffling through his feathers at being outside in the brisk air.
"Well, let's see what it says, shall we? 'Dear Diamond', he doesn't usually write that nicely. It's all cursive, too."
The bird pokemon pecked him gently on the side of the head.
"Fine, I'll just read it, no commentary. I swear you remind me of him so much. Lax, share some of that with him."
Lax reluctantly handed over his berry, producing another from his fur to munch on while his trainer resumed reading silently.
I hope you're doing well. There were a few other scribbles. I have no idea how to write a letter, Diamond. Hopefully this doesn't sound stupid…
He smiled, hearing his voice in his head. Pearl had certainly written it and he loved its authenticity.
I have been in love with you for what feels like a lifetime. Every day I love you even more. Your smile is infectious and your eyes are this awesome beautiful mix of grey and blue that remind me of the winter sky, of the lake, of just being home with you. One day we're going to move into some great house somewhere and spend our days doing something wonderful. Maybe we'll rediscover our manzai dream or maybe as a couple we'll have new dreams. All I know is that tomorrow is our eleven month anniversary and it makes me excited for next month. It's almost been a whole year! So I expect you to be at my house tomorrow promptly for dinner (or really whenever you want to come over) because for dessert (there's no cake) we are going to be making up lost time and I will make sure that every inch of you knows that you are loved. I've missed you and I can't wait to be close to you.
Love,
Pearl
"Aw," he smiled wide, blushing lightly. "That's so sweet. He remembered."
He thought briefly of his mother, shaking his head at her doubt. He wondered if he would have to make some sort of excuse or if it would be best to just disappear tomorrow. He had no intention of staying home again and hoped that it would be exactly what he needed to feel more like himself.
"I wonder what he's going to make… Oh, what's this here? 'PS. My mom's out of town.' Oh. My. Arceus."
He burst out laughing turning more red, remembering all too well that Pearl had used that line to entice him their first time nearly a year ago. His eyes skimmed it over once more, still smiling wildly as both pokemon snooped over his shoulders to read it over as well.
"Ah, I guess I should write something back right?"
Lax shook his head with a yawn, still munching on what was left of his berry.
"Well, I should at least send something back. Uh… hm, let me think."
He read the letter over again, looking around the room for some inspiration.
"Oh! I got it!"
He got up and dug through his top drawer, finding the small package hidden in the back. He ran his fingers over it reminiscently, lightly squeezing the pocket of air with a crisp sound as he traced the rubber ring with his thumb. He nodded to himself, handing the bird pokemon the small package.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow."
Ciao ragazzi!
See, I told you I would post this week! I can't promise I can post next week now because it's 2:30AM (EST) and I'm moving back to college for my sophomore year in a few hours. It's been a really crazy week but I'm sure the coming week is going to be crazier trying to get back into the flow of things and being away from home after 4 months on break.
Anyway, this is obviously the other half to the last chapter and again we get a stark contrast between the two boys' experiences during this time. It's easy to be like "Diamond should just say something or runaway with Pearl" but let's be realistic here, it's not that simple. I think the weak points in the relationship as well as primarily Diamond's character flaws are becoming more evident and the way that they will be dealt with will be imperative to their future. Things look hopeful for the next day for them but it will be interesting to see just how much their relationship has really changed considering there's been a bit of a time skip going on here. Writing for the pokemon has been fun and I've been trying to keep the pokemon references and similes mixed throughout the story because it is a pokemon fic after all. There will be more of them in future chapters especially by the end of the fic.
From some feedback I've gotten Johanna is becoming the new Platina and you guys aren't liking her either haha. As a secondary antagonist I think her character has some depth to her that's interesting but hard to write at times. Obviously I'm not a mom and I certainly don't agree with her views but I've been drawing alot (as I do with all my writing) on personal experiences and trying to put myself in people I know's heads for inspiration. The contrast between the mothers is interesting to write as well. The whole maternal dynamic is a nice change of pace from teenage boys as was writing for Platina and I look forward to writing in our future supporting/secondary characters in the coming chapters. I think it would be interesting to see the mothers interact because they're so different but I don't know if they will confront each other in this story but rather in the yet to be named sequel I have planned out.
Well let me know what you think, thank you all so much for supporting my passions with your private messages, favorites, follows, and reviews. It really does make my day and I enjoy talking to and getting to know the fans because I'm just a kid, too (well, as much as a 19 year old can be a kid, haha).
Tantissimi auguri, Miss Anon. Happy belated-birthday and thank you for your continued support. I'm glad you have an appreciation for my affinity for metaphors and imagery and I'm touched to have such a sweet fan backing me.
I will try to post next week but no promises!
Baci
XXX
Miss Salina
