AN: I apologise now my brain is warped. I don't own any of the characters I am just corrupting them.

Yana5: *Giggles* I do appreciate the laughter. Is it hysterical or happy or evil…oh Vaccras I haven't broken you have I?

Arlewena-Welcome to the fun. Yes I suppose they do and they probably will do again, they (well Bilbo at least) need new victims, but I find their current ones just far too much fun to write.

Chapter Twenty Eight-The Hangover.

Bilbo and Ori had continued to drink into the night, deliberately staying up until all the older dwarfs had to call it a night. Once Thorin's snores had joined the chorus, Ori met Bilbo's eyes and mutely held out the strange stud. Bilbo blinked at him. "This will hurt like nothing else you've ever felt mind," he warned.

Ori studied him, "But you said you had three, so I can't back out of one," he pouted.

Bilbo couldn't help but chuckle, "Aye Ori, but I'd had four other piercings done, two of which were in very sensitive place, one of which I passed out while they were doing it." Bilbo cocked his head, "But I can tell you seriously want this as opposed to a normal one so where do you want them?"

Ori grinned and hitched his shirt over his head and pointed at his collar bones, noticing Bilbo wince as he did so. "Can they be placed there?" he queried, "or will that be too hard with what you have?"

Bilbo shook his head watching Ori's face fall, before grabbing the scribe's hand and dragging from the terrace. When they reached the alcove he handed Ori a piece of wood. "Sit down, hold on to the railings and bite that. Wait!" he held up a hand and passed Ori a full bottle of liqueur, "Down that first."

When he was sure Ori was sufficiently drunk Bilbo quickly applied the first stud, he was impressed when the dwarf didn't pass out or scream, merely moaning into the wood. Satisfied his friend could take it, Bilbo moved on to the other side making sure they were equal before he pushed it firmly into place. Ori shut his eyes and breathed through his nose. "Gah," he slurred, spitting out the wood, "Liqickker, diddlnt work Bils," Bilbo patted his shoulder and helped the intoxicated dwarf pull the shirt over his head. Supporting his drunk friend Bilbo made his way back to the terrace, once they managed to make it back after Ori stopped to peer closely at the engravings several times, he carefully tucked Ori under a blanket making sure he was on his side. Dori and Bofur walked up the stairs seconds after Bilbo had flopped to the floor beside Ori, and the hobbit breathed a sigh of relief that Dori hadn't caught most of what had just transpired. He might be forgiven for most of what he involved Ori in but Bilbo doubted the eldest Ri brother would forgive him for getting his baby brother completely sloshed. Closing his eyes and praying Ori didn't have to large a hangover in the morning Bilbo drifted off to sleep, completely missing the fact Nori and Bifur hadn't returned along with the Durin brothers.

Morning came to Rivendell quickly, its bright rays waking the sleeping dwarfs brutally. Thorin groaned and flung an arm over his eyes to try and shield them. Balin hissed and buried his head into Oin's shoulder, waking the healer and flinging his brother's head to the floor. Oin merely patted Balin gently on the head. Dwalin was not impressed and curled up into a little ball holding his head. Bofur and Dori awoke with the noise and grinned wickedly at the suffering dwarf, both feeling quite clear headed thanks to Dori's tea the night before. Gloin didn't wake, but curled into a different shape, hugging his axe carefully. Bombur opened his eyes and looked across the room wondering whether he could be bothered to get up to make breakfast, his stomach rolled and he decided against it. Ori opened his, groaned loudly and rolled over burying his head into his pillow until two burning pains in his collar bones had him jumping back up with a quiet cry. He deliberately kicked Bilbo, who groggily opened his eyes and peered blurrily up at the dwarf. Wincing in sympathy he handed Ori a small jar of salve and turned over to try and get a few more hours sleep, when Fili fell up the top step into the terrace, Kili crawling up the steps next to him. The two Durin brothers looked around at the state their comrades were in and curled up by a pillar with relieved sighs. As the groans and moans slowly filtered through Bilbo's mind he cursed fluently in Sindarin and his native language before sitting up, and looking around the room, realising as he did that Nori and Bifur hadn't yet returned. He smirked and gingerly levered himself to his feet and trotted to the bathing area to check on Ori. He found the scribe prodding at his new additions and trying to look at them. Taking pity on him Bilbo returned to fetch the elfish platter the Durin brothers had liberated the sausages on a couple of days before. Ori squealed a little when he saw them, before putting his hand to his head and turning an off white colour. "Hangover?" whispered Bilbo. Ori merely nodded and Bilbo tutted. He once again helped the scribe replace his shirt, before the hobbit trotted off to try and make some of his grandfather's hangover cure.

The sounds of Bilbo rattling around the cooking area made most of the company groan, but Dori wandered over to see if he could help. He chuckled at the still rose colour of the hobbits cheeks and smirked victoriously at the eyes crinkled against the bright morning light. Bilbo looked back at him and smiled softly before handing the steel haired dwarf some ginger to shred. Dori settle next to the hobbit and in companiable silence they went about making the tea.

When Nori and Bifur returned fresh and giggling a couple of hours later it was mid-morning and the tea had just finished boiling. Nori took one look at the state Dwalin was in and his giggles became a full blown belly laugh. Bifur smiled fondly at his One and pulled him over to sit with Bilbo, Bofur and Dori. The five sat happily sitting tea, where they were soon joined by a hung-over Ori, Dori tutted and handed him a mug of tea. Ori merely groaned his thanks and Bilbo chuckled, "You shouldn't even be functioning Ori." He looked apologetically at Dori, "I forgot how strong liqueur from the Shire is for those who aren't used to it." Dori looked him up and down before merely shrugging. Ori was conscious enough to raise a disbelieving eyebrow at that but didn't argue.

It wasn't until Gandalf sauntered onto the terrace mid-afternoon that the rest of the dwarfs even thought about moving. Ori was somewhat back to normal and cautiously carried a cup of the tea over to a grey coloured Dwalin. The giant dwarf accepted eagerly, downing the cup before holding it out to Ori with a pout, silently asking for more. Ori shook his head and handed the pouting dwarf a full water skin. Dwalin accepted with a small huff, waiting for the tea to kick in. Bilbo was busy handing out mugs of tea to the dwarfs who had suddenly surrounded the cooking fire when the wizard had arrived. Gandalf chuckled at the not subtle attempt to shut him out and merely waited until they dwarfs had sat back down with a steaming mug each. He deliberately waited until Thorin had taken a drink of the spicy smelling, minty tea. "Ah Master Oakenshield," he began placidly, making Bilbo look at him sharply, "I do believe," Gandalf continued on not noticing Bilbo push to his feet his eyes narrowed, "You really need to show someone who can read De KhuzdTunng runes." Bilbo stalked over to stand behind the wizard. Oblivious Gandalf continued, "I believe Master Elrond can still decipher these." Bilbo clenched his knuckles the serious annoyed look on his face the only thing from stopping Thorin from exploding in anger as the rest of his company seemed to be doing. The dwarf king calmly sipped the tea he'd been presented and mulled over the wizard's words. That elf might be able to help, it was just a shame it had to be an elf and that Bifur could only understand De KhuzdTunng verbally.

"AH," Thorin hummed, pushing slowly to his booted feet. He held up a hand and just like that the company fell silent, "I do believe you may be right Master Gandalf. I do however ask that I take two of my company with me to this meeting to ground me." Thorin looked around taking in his fellow dwarfs and their hobbit. "Hmm perhaps Bi…"

"You should take Bilbo Thorin Oakenshield!" Boomed Gandalf," He will be a calm head in the midst of your biased dislike of all elfish folk."

Thorin merely raised a stately eyebrow and nodded, Gandalf obviously knew nothing of the hobbit. "Fine wizard," he snarled, "Balin will also accompany us." He looked at the white haired dwarf, and realised they all looked rather rumpled and hung-over. Excluding Bil…Master Baggins who always seemed to look put together and respectable (something niggled at the back of Thorin's head that told him the hobbit wasn't as respectable as he appeared, but he only had hazy memories of the night before. "We will be ready in three bells Wizard," he huffed, "No! that is final Gandalf."

The grey haired Istari jutted, his eyebrows huffed and appeared to be readying himself for a fight. Bilbo growled low and grabbed an ear, the technique working as well on the wizard as the elf twins. He unceremoniously towed Gandalf from the terrace and deposited him at a walk way. Without saying a thing, Bilbo turned his back on the wizard and stalked away back to the rest of the company.