Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all things Twilight. I own nothing.
A/N: Sorry for not updating yesterday... apparently I pay the laptop too much attention... whatever that means. So the husband thought it be funny to take it. Anyways, I couldn't just leave you guys with that ending for another full day so I'm staying up late to update. Next chapter will be up later on today, and don't forget... this story will be on the lemonade stand. FYI, I finally updated my other story Haven so don't forget to check that out...zombies are just so cool. Please review.
Selfish 29
Beep... Beep...Beep...
My head is pounding, my arms are heavy... can't move them...
Beep... Beep... Beep...
I hear voices in the background.
I don't understand what they are saying, who they belong to...
I know they are talking about me... just... why?
Beep... Beep... Beep...
Slowly, I am able to understand bits and pieces...
I hear my name... a lot.
I also feel someone rubbing or holding a different part of my body each time.
Everything feels so foreign... so...
Out of body experience.
Maybe I've died... but then... why does it hurt so much?
Was I so messed up that God decided to leave me in this... this... middle... or in limbo?
Not in hell, but not in heaven... "Suffer, Bella. You only thought of yourself."
I feel so alone here... in my mind.
Beep... Beep... Beep...
There is a new voice... I don't recognize the person.
It's a man... my doctor? I must be in the hospital... right?
What better place to be called the in-between?
This person, this voice... this man... seems to know me.
He touches me when there are no other voices.
He whispers in my ear things that I don't hear or understand... it tickles.
Soft brushes that don't hurt...
Fingers lightly combing through my hair...
Is this my angel, waiting for me to kick the bucket?
Because that's my conclusion...
I'm in the in-between because Jasper was too late to save me.
I took Alice's place and God doesn't know what to do with me.
I'll be good, I promise... let me out... it's just so dark... so alone.
Beep... Beep... Beep...
"You need to get better..."
"Come on, baby..."
"I'm so sorry..."
So many phrases, some that don't mean a thing to me... some that do.
Some that are hard to ignore, some are just impossible to forget.
I'm looking for forgiveness, for a way out.
I'm looking to be saved, to finally be free...
Whether it's through a miracle or a coffin.
Beep... Beep... Beep...
More fingers through my hair...
More whispers of encouragement...
I groan, it feels so good to feel anything other than pain...
His fingers stop moving... moving away almost in hesitance...
I move towards them...
Don't... please... hear me.
"Bella?"
My mouth is heavy, someone thought it be funny to stuff it with cotton...
Emmett for sure...When I'm better, he'll be sorry...
Maybe not... I'm gonna try to be good...
No more limbo for me...
"Bella, baby. Can you move your fingers for me. Open your eyes a bit. Please..."
His voice is desperate... strong hint of longing.
The word baby is ringing … Warning... Warning... Warning...
Maybe I shouldn't open them... I don't want to see blue...
Blue means... Carlisle... Jasper... Rosalie... Emmett... Alice...and … Creeper
They all have blue... I hate blue...
There's those fingers again...
Coaxing me to open them...
I can't stop... it feels good.
I try to open them... Too bright!
Fingers move away... then there's more darkness...
Fingers return... coaxing some more...
I try so hard...
Open one first, then the other...
It's so blurry, so dark and yet so white at the same time...
And I don't see blue...
I hate blue...
I see green.
