Author's Chapter Notes:

Take your records,

Take your freedom

Take your memories,

I don't need 'em

Take your space

and take your reasons

But you'll think of me

And take your cap

And leave my sweater

'Cause we have nothing left to weather

In fact I'll feel a whole lot better

But you'll think of me,

You'll think of me

- John Barrowman

Wild Journal

25 September 2006

I must be the stupidest person on this planet.

When the hell will I ever learn?

I left myself open to manipulation AGAIN.

After the Ricky chapter you'd think I would have used my brain instead of my heart when I chose a new boyfriend.

But it's been déjà vu.

He lied to me! There had never been any tutorials. He had been right there in that apartment above No Limits all along.

Actually Deniz is worse than Ricky, at least I knew Ricky liked the fact that I had money.

Deniz from day one behaved like he wanted only me; not the media personality, not the Wild heir but plain old Roman the man.

That whole scarf drama had me totally convinced that he was the one for me. I gave him a power over me that I should never have relinquished.

The power to hurt me.

He ripped my heart out and stomped on it.

He's off on his merry way again.

He's moved on to greener pastures.

He'll live to regret his decision.

He called me a 'has been'.

He'd better wait and watch what this 'has been' is made of.

I'll make him eat his words.

Oliver Sabel is most welcome to that limelight seeking money hungry little bitch.