Juti's POV:
I hurriedly searched for the right secret passageway which took me from the house by the lake to Box Five. I haven't used that one before, but Erik told me he linked box five with the secret tunnels, so there had to be one. I also knew that Erik always preferred the easiest way possible, and did not like to walk too much if it was up to him. Growing older made him a bit of lazier or well, more comfortable, so the passageway had to be the closest possible and one of the easier and shorter ones. I wasn't wrong. Going along took me a bit of time, but finally I found myself at the bottom of a ladder which was just attached to the wall above my head.
To be honest I did not really like ladders. I was a bit of afraid of heights, and if it was up to me, I'd have rather stayed on the floor. To tell the truth, I was secretely sick of the thought of Erik climbed on the Apollo statue on the rooftop, even thinking of it made me feel dizzy, and really hoped he wasn't going to take me up there. He did not yet offer it, and did not know about my weakness about heights, and I would not want to inform him if it wasn't necessary… and at that point I nearly turned back to abandon the whole idea of listening. I checked my watch: it was 10 minutes past 10. I got rather curious about what Erik had to confess so urgently to the Daroga… why to the Daroga, and why not to me? I really did not wish him to have secrets in front of me, especially not very serious ones. He worded "something terrible", which alarmed me a lot. Compared to that a simple ladder hanging from the wall was nothing. I grabbed the first step with a sudden determination and started climbing.
The ladder was a bit of too narrow and my foot slipped on the steps a bit a few times, which did not help my uneasy feelings, but in the end I was finally on the top. I grabbed the edges tightly, and tried to figure out what on Earth to do to go further. Seemingly I was just at the side of some marble wall from the inside and the place was kind of tight. Maybe I ended up in the column?
Suddenly there were three knocks a bit of further from me, just as someone would have knocked on a door, then a door opened. It scared me to no end. I tried my best to stay silent, and not to get anyone's attention at myself, which wasn't too easy. Finally, someone spoke.
- Have you lost your mind? – I heard that untrained, but kind of pleasant baritone of the Persian. – You send a letter like this to me in the middle of the night?
Hearing this made me scared I nearly slipped on the ladder yet again, but at least I was happy I really ended up in box five, and I wasn't even late from the meeting, even though I have lost a good 20 minutes when I searched for the right way, I did not miss anything.
- At first. – Erik's voice was very frustrated, and he wasn't in the best mood. – You are LATE, Daroga. Erik has other things to do than waiting for you to arrive.
He really sounded to be upset. What might have happened to him during the night? Did he change his mind about our relationship? But then why did he bring me flowers? What can be so terrible? I put my ear on the wall to hear it better.
- I am actually worried of your sanity, Erik. – The Daroga sighed.
I could not see anything, so I tried my best to listen to their emotional howabouts from their intonations.
- Me too. – Erik agreed. – Which is why I sent that letter and wanted to talk to you.
- So… talk. – The Persian was irritated and maybe slightly concerned. What kind of letter Erik might have sent to the Daroga as well, when the letter intended to him was on the dining table in the house? Did he write two of them?
- Oh Daroga… I am so confused and happy at the same time… but also… I feel like I am going crazy. I need a man to talk to. I… had confessed… the same thoughts to a priest… but it did not really help. – A deep sigh came. – Only temporarily. But last night – at this point his intonation changed to that sweet and loving one which he used with me the night before when he confessed his love to me – last night I finally learned that love knows no rules, and one needs to accept fate.
- Might be. – The Persian said with caution.
- Yes, I know it might sound strange Daroga, especially after Christine, and how that love story ended… but I am in love, Daroga.
- In love…? Oh Allah… Yet again?
- Yes, Daroga. – I bet Erik was smiling. – And it is a magical feeling. Finally I know how to LOVE.
- Oh.
- And… here comes the problem… and I have thoughts about… you know what… more and more.
- Intimacy?
- Yes.
- Well, Erik, it is kind, but…
- No but, Daroga! – Erik sounded so passionate suddenly. – I… I… I can't say no to my… feelings.
- Oh, but I have never… never thought you have these feelings. – The Daroga sounded a bit too much surprised. Nearly scared.
- Of course, I do. – Erik snorted. – Why would I not? I am a man, just like you. Why do you think I can't have these thoughts? Because I am ugly? Eh? – Erik seriously got upset and hurt, so I closed my eyes not to "see" what he was going to do to the Daroga if he replies in not the right way.
- I don't mean it like that. – The Persian must have jumped up from his seat in a sudden fear, as I heard his footsteps and his voice came from further. – No, Erik, it is not about your looks. Please… stay there. Do you have that damned string with you…?
- No. – Erik exhaled loudly, seriously trying his best to control his temper.
- Erik, I just did not think you would feel such things about someone like…
- Like? – He snapped. – Isn't she beautiful enough to you, eh? You Persian booby! Are you going blind? Oh, I wish I had gone, right before I did that sick thing… - Erik's voice now came muffled as if he leaned on the handrail of the chair or he buried his face in his hands.
- What…?
- Oh, Daroga, I know I should not have… I know… It was so INDECENT…
- Well, you are just… desperate I guess. – The Persian's voice came from closer. – But what do you mean?
- Erik is no better than any of the filthy men. – He sobbed. – Erik can't control his fantasies and he needs to watch… he needed to see…
- See?
- Yes… as… God, or Allah or what had created her. – He admitted brokenly.
- Her…? Wait… now I understand, but Allah above… Erik… did you? Did you… rape her? – The Daroga's voice turned into a soft, nearly inaudible whisper of horror.
There was silence for a time. I did not know what was going on, but I hoped Erik will be merciful to the poor Daroga. If I absolutely needed to, I'd of course stop him… Erik was too silent. After a few minutes, he jumped up, as I heard his chair was maybe kicked, and he angrily yelled:
- I DID! Twice! Yes! And she enjoyed it! And so did Erik! With pleasure I did so! I am Don Juan Triumphant! Of course, you fool! You miserable, insufferable simpleton!
- Erik, stop…
- Of course, I raped her! I rape everyone I meet, remember? – Erik kicked another chair, at least I hoped so. – I have told you… told you… I had never touched any of the women I loved… not by a finger… not… - He suddenly started wheezing.
- Then what the Hell is your problem? – The Persian sounded to be annoyed. – I am fed up with your love issues. Esepcially now. So spit it out.
- Daroga, I know Christine took a pair of scissors with her for the first time she was in my house, to the bathroom, to end her life… if Erik… does something… terrible. – Erik whispered. – And yet Erik did not even think of doing something terrible. Christine thought he would, but he would have never done so, or at least he thought…He did not dare to imagine Christine naked. And he did not wish to have intimate moments with her.
- And you rather chose someone else and it is hard for you to admit to yourself? – The Persian suddenly sounded much more compassionate, just as he was a truly understanding friend to Erik. I was sure that, even though they mostly acted as they disliked each other, and Erik did nearly kill the Persian a few times before, they were still somewhat close to the relationship one would mostly describe as a very strange kind of friendship.
- Finally you understand. – Erik sighed. – It takes you a lot of time to understand something, Daroga.
- Well, and what did you do which is that terrible, then?
- After we kissed… and Daroga, you have to understand that I finally have a companion… so after we kissed… and she went to take a bath, I secretly watched her as I have imagined it in my dreams, many times.
Silence came yet again. After some moments, the Daroga asked.
- So it is Judit you are talking about? Did you watch Judit while she…
- Yes, yes, who else? I told you, you simpleton, I have NEVER seen Christine like that.
- And it is her you are in love with?
- In love with? Oh Daroga, it is too little to describe it as so. I adore her… I… I… I adore her. Love her, mind, soul and body. I yearn for her. Terribly.
- Oh, then… I don't understand.
- What is it again you don't understand, you old Persian fool?
- Your letter to me.
- What on Earth are you talking about? It was just a note to inform you I had to talk to you. What is that you don't understand?
- For example the addressing. Why did you call me "my darling" or "my love"?
- What? – Erik gasped.
- You did, and what does it mean "you have made me the happiest of men in all Paris, sweetie"
- Heavens… - Erik sounded scared. – Did I write that to you…?
- Yes, you did, Erik, and many more things like "I wish to hold you in my arms soon" and you sprayed lilac or I don't know what kind of scented perfume all over that letter, which made my hands smell of it 2 hours after.
A gasp, and a high- pitched scream left Erik's throat right after this sentence. He sounded like a five year old girl. After that scream, he started stuttering in a language I could not understand, but the Persian sure could, as he switched to that language as well. Maybe was that Farsi? The Daroga, as I could guess, was trying to calm Erik, who could not coherently speak, even in that foreign language, he was merely nervously sputtering.
After that, he switched back and forth between French and the unknown language, but even in French he did not make too much sense, saying things like "Good blood" as I translated, or "Good blood of good evening." I did not know what those did mean, but the Persian was constantly trying to talk to Erik, to make him relax just a bit.
- It can happen, Erik, please breathe…
Actually the situation I had to listen through, was a funny one. Funny as Hell with the wrongly delivered letters and the "confession" the Daroga was waiting for. It must have became a great opera scene, if someone would have written it, it was just a perfect scene for comedy. And Erik's confession made me think. He watched me while I took a bath…? And now he is ashamed of it. But why did he tell it to the Daroga instead of telling me? Well, he said he needed a man to talk to, and the Daroga is his closest male friend, so…
I did not mind too much Erik did what he did. I knew this was a lot more serious an issue in Victorian times, when women weren't even allowed to show ankles, and sure, guys weren't so much spoiled with porn material either, and I understood why did Erik suddenly feel so ashamed of his actions, but I just felt a bit of uncomfortable because my body wasn't looking so beautiful in my opinion. I was fat, to tell the truth, and I did not understand why Erik enjoyed to watch me naked. I imagined I would have been a major turn- off to any man. I had to think this through, and I knew I needed to talk about this to Erik once, whatever awkward it might sound like… but not now.
Still, I felt sorry for Erik.
I did not know what to do. Erik sounded so scared, so ashamed, lost… I would so wanted to comfort him, but I did not know if I admitted I was listening, would he be extremely upset at me? He did not wish me to hear this confession, clearly. Should I ruin his trust just for the sake of comfort? Maybe the best thing would be if I just disappeared from this hiding place and go back to wait for Erik to return in the house by the lake…
When I wanted to slip down from the ladder, I suddenly heard Erik's realization:
- Daroga… if you received that letter… it means…
Before I could disappear as fast as I could, there was dazzling light coming from box five as a secret switch was activated and I faced a bit of angry Erik in front of me. Before I could say anything, his eyes narrowed, and he grabbed the jacket on my shoulder without a word, pulling me inside to box five.
- Erik, don't hurt her… - The Daroga warned him, half concerned, half threatening.
