Accidents Happen
A/N: Hey out there reading public! Ok, look, let just drop it. You're right, I'm right, he's right, she's right, WHATEVER! Just…I don't want to start a war with this moon thing, kay? Please, no more. It's fiction guys. If it makes you feel better I'll say I was wrong, you were right and I'm stupid. Kay? Will that stop this? I hope so. KAY! Now that we've got that out of the way, I'm SOOO sorry! I've had to take extra tutoring (thanks to my math teacher who thinks I'm lacking horribly, grrr) so I haven't gotten to get on the computer, let alone the net, in a LONG time. Sorry! So, without further delay, here's chapter 29! Hope you guys enjoy:)
Disclaimer: I am not J.K Rowling thereby I don't own Hogwarts or any of the characters you all know and love, however, I may make up a few of my own along the way and come up with some other stuff to so if you don't recognize it then it's probably mine, though, if you want I'll tell you exactly what's what, I mean, if it truly bothers you or something (although I honestly can't see why it would, I mean, this is fanfiction after all). I do own Professor Ronts, Professor Sune, Sam, Seri and any other side characters I throw in there. So you can just think of it as, if they don't sound familiar to you, they're probably mine.
Chapter 29
Even before he opened his eyes his muscles started pulsing painfully. He groaned but stayed flat on his back and didn't move. If he could put waking up off as long as possible, maybe the pain would lessen.
However, the world seemed to hate him at the moment as an annoying fly buzzed around his face, landing on his nose. Remus frowned, but never the less forced his hand to his face, eyes still closed and swatted the fly off, his fingers barely touching his nose.
But that little touch was just enough for him to feel something on his finger tips…something sort of sticky…it smelt weird, like-
With a gasp he opened his eyes, the hand still to his face and saw the drying blood on his fingertips. That was all it took for his brain to jumpstart and he remember what happened last night. Startled, he forced himself to sit and looked around worriedly, praying there was no dead body around, pleading that James and Snape had gotten out.
The last thing he remembered was yelling at them to leave and the usual pains of his transformation and then the rest…darkness.
From his direct vision he didn't see any bodies…but then, the wolf could have easily dragged their bodies out of this room, torn them apart and left the remains scattered throughout the house.
Panic started to grow in his chest as he felt around his lips and tasted the inside of his mouth…what if he'd…no…not again…
His breathing went shaky at the thought as he tried to stand up "No…please…j-JAMES! James! Severus? Are you in here?! Are…are you…still alive?" he propped himself against the wall to get a better look of the room.
He got no answer…he could have try to go into the kitchen to look for them, but his body shook terribly even with the wall to support him. The sudden movement to his feet gave him a terrible head-rush onto of the usual pain. He grabbed his head and slowly sank to the floor, his back still against the wall as an awful feeling setting in his stomach.
"Oh James…if I killed you I…I'll never forgive myself…" he whispered miserably.
Suddenly the door opened and in came Lily and behind her, to his great relieve, was James.
His eyes widened and, ignoring the searing pain it sent through his system, he scrambled to his feet. "James, thank god! I…I thought I killed you!" he said hoarsely, hugging him as best he could with his soar arms.
James blinked in surprise "Er…yeah…why would you think that?"
Despite himself, Remus felt his throat thicken "The last thing I remember is telling you and Snape to get and…and then I woke up with…with blood, on my hand…"
James' eyes widened "Oh! Oh no, no, you just scratched my back, that's all! Honest, I'm ok…I went to Madam Pomfrey and everything this time. Now that I had Snape as an excuse, our Animagi secret is still safe."
Remus closed his eyes in relief…but it didn't last as the rest of his brain caught up.
He swallowed hard "But now Snape knows, what if he-"
To his surprise James laughed "Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Dumbledore made him promise not to tell…heh, he musta felt stupid, going up to tell Dumbledore what he already knew…haha, he was so embarrassed this morning his usual scowl was accompanied by a blush! Hahaha!"
Lily gave him a reproachful look "James."
Remus didn't find humor in it though "How can we be sure he'll keep his mouth shut?"
James grinned "Don't worry! By the look on Snape's face I'm positive he won't breathe a word."
Remus sighed "If you say so." Though in the back of his mind, he felt unbelieving of that. It probably wouldn't be today or even the next day, but he felt that someday, Snape would tell.
James grinned "Come on, maybe if he sees you his face'll get even redder!"
Lily frowned "James, be nice! Honestly, this whole ordeal must be so embarrassing for him, having Sirius trick him like that-"
The statement took Remus mind of Snape and back to the conversation "What was that?"
James' eyes widened and Lily covered her mouth "Oh! I…er…James I thought you said he knew." She whispered angrily to James.
He shook his head "I said I'd tell him…eventually…when he was feeling better…"
Remus frowned "What're you talking about?"
Lily clasped her hands behind her back "Oh, just…something…"
James nodded but said nothing.
They're uneasy behavior didn't help his suspicion "Oh come on, just tell me what you're talking about." he said impatiently. They both glanced at each other for a moment.
Lily made a few facial cues and then James cleared his throat "Uh, well…don't shot the messengers now but…well, the only reason Snape came was because Sirius tricked him into it…he didn't tell him you were a, well you know, but…he told him how to get here and…"
As James spoke a flame started in Remus' gut…it slowly grew bigger and bigger. His growing anger gave strength to his weakened muscles and he stood straighter.
"Where is he?" Remus asked in a surprisingly calm voice.
James glanced at Lily "Er, well…he wasn't awake when I left so…maybe still in the common room-"
That was all the information he needed. The soreness of his muscle seemed dulled by rage as he went out the door; James and Lily at his heels, insisting he should be laying down or at least wait until Madam Pomfrey had seen him.
But he was beyond the physical pain now.
It was time to settle the score.
---
Sirius had just gotten out of the shower and was putting his shoes on.
"I still say you went too far though with that joke, Snape could've really been hurt o-or killed!" Peter said as he got his book-bag.
Sirius frowned "I know, I know! And I apologized already, but it's not like he did, right? If anything, James is the one who got the raw-end of the deal."
As Peter was about to respond he was cut off by the door opening forcefully, by a very angry looking Remus with Lily and James almost timidly behind him.
Sirius didn't blame them for being so. Remus' eyes were narrowed into a heated glare and though he was hunched and limped slightly as he entered, he had an intimidating air about him.
All was still in the room after they'd come in and the longer the stillness last, the more the tension grew.
Their eyes locked and Sirius felt a shiver down his spine. He'd never really seen Remus angry before…he was the calm, collective one who rarely lost his composure.
"So, you think it's funny to put people's lives in danger?" Remus finally spoke in a calmly furious (1) tone.
Sirius swallowed but said nothing, not really knowing whether he should answer or if it was a rhetorical question.
Remus stepped closer, his eyes still narrowed "It amuses you that I could have turned Snape into a werewolf or worse, killed him?! And James?!?"
Sirius looked at his feet "I…I wasn't really thinking, to much of it…at the time…" he murmured to the ground. Though he could no longer see the heated glare, he could feel Remus' eyes digging into his head.
Remus frowned deeply "You weren't thinking?! That very morning you'd just bitten my head off for not thinking and then you go and do the same?! Brilliant Sirius! What the hell's wrong with you?! Do you know what it's like waking up with blood on you and not knowing what you did?!"
Sirius looked up, his nerve returning to him "Not so pleasant is it? Waking up and not knowing what the hell was going on…"
Remus balled his hands into fists "DON'T COMPARE US, THIS IS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT!!! You woke up with a scar, you weren't dead. I woke up with BLOOD on my hands!! I WAS WORRIED I'D KILLED SOMEONE!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT'S LIKE?!"
He didn't respond to that.
Remus frowned and his voice lowered "I'm not sure if you remember, but I told you once…Sirius it's not funny, what you did…you really wanted Snape to die? Is that what you wanted?"
Sirius didn't meet his eye and kept his mouth closed.
Remus took another step forward "IS IT?!"
"NO! I was just…(sigh)…I was angry, and that bloody idiot wouldn't leave me alone! I just, need some time to think, just to be alone and Snape…I didn't think he'd actually do it! I thought he'd think I was lying!" Sirius confessed, still meeting no one's eye.
Remus scowled "Are you sure? Are you sure you just didn't want to see him die?! To have me kill him and have that eat away at my conscience forever, to get back at me?!"
Sirius looked up at that "What?"
"Don't play coy with me! You probably did remember, when I told you about the girl I killed as a werewolf. I told you how much it hurt, how much I hated myself for it, I still do…you knew it'd be the perfect way to punish me, to put another dead body over my head!!"
At that no one spoke. Lily had put her hands over her mouth in a silent gasp while James and Peter stared at him in utter bewilderment, but they went unnoticed.
Sirius stared at him in surprise but his voice had left him.
Remus' frown still remained as cold as ever, even as he turned his back to walk out "I think I was wrong about you Sirius, and so was you're mother…" he paused and glanced over his shoulder to meet his eye "If this is how you get your sick kicks, you ARE worthy of the name Black…"
His gray eyes widened and a pained look crossed his face at the sting of that.
THAT was low.
But it went unseen by Remus, who'd turned around and hobbled to the door "I'll see Madam Pomfrey now. Could you help me get downstairs James?" he asked softly.
James stood in his spot for a moment, as though in a trance but quickly shook his head "Er, yeah, course." and went to his side to help him stand straighter.
Sirius watched them leave, anger starting to gloss over his shocked and hurt expression. Lily mouthed 'sorry' and followed after James and Remus. Peter, however, stayed.
He cautiously approached him "…Do you-"
"No. Just leave…" Sirius murmured, his eyes traveling to the floor.
Peter nodded and followed them out the door.
For a moment he stood there, looking down at his bag that was by his feet.
Remus words were still taking their sweet time setting in, except his closing remark that still stung, though now invoked rage rather then hurt.
…'Worthy of the name Black'…
He gritted his teeth angrily and kicked the bag clear to the other side of the room, causing books, parchments and quills to fly out, a small smash let him know his ink bottle had broken on impact with the ground, but he didn't care.
"And what the hell give you the right to judge me?!" he snarled in response, though he knew the time for it had passed.
Blood pounded in his ears and he wanted nothing more then to kick the bag with all its contents again and again until the books within fell apart, but he resisted the urge to do so, acknowledging the throbbing of his foot.
He pulled his wand out of his robes and pointed it at the mess of his bag. Non-verbals sure were useful…the clattered mess and broken ink bottle went back into the bag neatly and unbroken.
Once all was in order he plopped back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. The rage was dying, but not yet dead and slowly, pain and remorse took the place of it…he'd rather be angry then feel like crap.
His gray eyes started to feel dry as he continued to look up at nothing "He's right…old mum sure would be proud of me right now…" he bit the inside of his mouth angrily, hard enough to taste blood "…Damn it…"
---
Once Madam Pomfrey gave him her little pain lifting potion she insisted he sleep a while. He agreed to sleep but not in the hospital wing. After helping him to the hospital wing, James and the rest went to breakfast but he knew they'd come back to check on him once they were through.
Right now, sleep was what he wanted, but he also wanted to be alone.
And he knew just where to go.
"Really Madam Pomfrey, I can make it back to Gryffindor tower without help." He said for the umpteenth time as he made for the door. "Thanks for the potion, it really helps." He added.
And it was true.
In fact, he probably wouldn't be able to make it to the 7th floor if it wasn't such an effective pain-reliever. He doubted anyone else knew about the secret room (as he'd been calling it) and remembered the nice bed it had last time he was there.
He frowned at the thought "A time better forgotten."
What Sirius had done really hurt him. How could he talk about being used and then go and use him to get rid of Snape? Such a hypocrite! What's worse, if James hadn't stopped him, as he'd said, he'd have another dead body hanging over his head.
He closed his eyes at that "Even if it's Snape, I don't want to kill anyone…I don't want to see a murderer looking at me when I look in the mirror…I don't want to see blood stains on my hands…I can't bare it…"
How could Sirius be so thoughtless?
True, he'd done a bad thing but do two wrongs really make a right? Especially when the second wrong is even worse then the first one? No, he didn't think so. And yes, what he'd said to Sirius was harsh but he deserved it, maybe that'd take some of the arrogance out of his laugh.
---
Sirius, against his first impulse, went down to breakfast, though he mostly just picked moodily at his food. James had silently advised Lily and Peter not to talk to him about it and he was grateful that he did.
James really was his best mate.
Inwardly he cringed "Never gonna be able to say that word the same again…" he thought, correcting the 'm' word with friend.
After this whole thing with Remus, he doubted anything would be the same again…he was also a bit surprised. Apparently being his…'mate' or whatever didn't mean he was spared if Remus ever got angry.
Those words…he'd be thinking about them all day at this rate…at the moment he felt so horrible, he wanted nothing more then to apologize and get it over with…but, something, probably pride, held him back from it.
He sighed and abandoned his fork.
No different then usual, Seri came into the Great Hall and sat with her favorite Gryffindors "Hey guys." She said cheerfully, sitting next to Peter, not noticing as he squirmed a bit.
They all gave a somewhat quiet reply.
She frowned slightly "Wow guys, why so down?"
Sirius sighed heavily "Nothing…"
"Oh right, it's just depressive Gryffindor day, I almost forgot." Seri said as she grabbed a plate.
James smiled slightly "Yep, so you're not allowed to participate."
Seri snapped her fingers in mock disappointment "Oh darn my luck."
Peter snickered softly.
She gave Sirius a look "Really, what's up?"
"Oh, we're all a bit worried about the teams up coming game with Hufflepuff." James said quickly.
Seri raised an eyebrow "Since when was Hufflepuff threatening?"
"Since…they got…a new, captain or…you know…" he said, trailing off slightly.
Seri smiled "Ah…right…well, I'm sure it'll be fine, it's just a game after all. Nothin' a bit of practice can't help right?"
James nodded "Right."
"Well, at least I know what's bothering you. Sirius, what's wrong?"
Abruptly he got up and pulled his book-bag over his shoulder, not meeting anyone's eye "I'm going to class early. See you guys later."
Seri frowned "Hm…ok Sirius, you can run, but you can't hide…"
---
Seri wasn't joking.
All through passing periods she'd show up unexpectedly and start a game of 20 questions.
"Did you hurt yourself? Lose money? Didn't finish your homework? Worried about exams? Miss out on something fun? Get your cloths wreaked? Forgot to take a shower? Have a bad night's sleep? Stomach ache? Tooth ache? Foot ache? Head trauma? Bee stung you?" was just a sample of the things she'd ask.
Every time she showed up Sirius gave her the same response: "I appreciate that you care and all but I'm fine. So go away." And it got more and more annoyed each time he had to say it.
Well, not only did it NOT stop Seri from asking him what was wrong, it made her ask even MORE! In fact, she was even waiting outside his class that came just before their free hour.
"Come on Sirius, I can keep it up all day, it's easier if you just tell me what's wrong." She said tauntingly.
As nice as she was, she could get annoying!
Sirius rolled his eyes and started down the hall "Drop it Seri."
"You've got a head cold?"
"No."
"You feel queasy?"
"No."
"You stubbed your toe?"
"No!"
"You hit your head?"
"No."
"You lost an important paper?"
"Nooo."
"You ate some bad soup?"
"No."
"Ate bad meat?"
"No!"
"Having gas problems?"
"NO!"
"Put your finger in an electric outlet?"
He stopped walking and turned to face her "N- wait, what the hell's an electric outlet?"
She smiled embarrassedly "Op! Sorry, muggle thing. They use them to get out power, kinda like wands only…not…"
Sirius frowned "Seri, this is getting dumb, could you just leave me alone?"
"No! I wanna help you!"
He stared at her for a moment then sighed "You really wanna help me?"
She nodded eagerly "Yeah! You're like family to me!"
He smiled slightly "Ok, here's how you can help me. Lean in, it's a secret…"
As Seri leaned up a bit the smile on Sirius face vanished and he yelled "STOP TRYING TO HELP ME!!"
Seri was temporarily stunned by the sudden shout in her ear and it gave Sirius just enough time to escape. He knew he didn't have long before she was after him again so he bolted as fast as he could down the hall, not really seeing where he was going.
"Gotta hide, gotta hide!" he thought as he ran.
"SIRIUS GET BACK HERE!!!" Seri shouted as she chased after him.
"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" he shouted back.
"OH I'M NOT GONNA HELP YOU NOW, I'M GONNA HEX THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU FOR SCREAMING IN MY EAR!!!" was her angry reply, which made run faster, not caring who he had to push or run into to get away.
He quickly turned a corner and ran up three flights of stairs. He kept running for a good 10 minutes or so, until all the stairways and corridors looked exactly the same, which made him stop to see where he was.
"Wait…there's the portrait of those three lovely witches…the old warlock with a cane…three knights facing east…Huh, 7th floor I think…" he whispered to himself just barely, nearly out of breath.
-Flashback-
It was Filch.
"Cloak." Both Remus and Sirius said.
Sirius pulled the IC out while Remus took off his shoes.
"Invisible or not our tracks aren't." he muttered.
Both carried their shoes as they ran blindly to the stairs, Filch always appeared a bit away.
"Why does he have to know all the secrete passages to?!" Sirius muttered angrily as they took a quick turn in hopes to lose him.
Remus looked around as they went "Looks like we're on the 7th floor…" he whispered.
"And here comes Flitch!"
"-Those damn students…I've got them now! I may be able to use the whips again or lock 'em up by their thumbs!" he cackled.
Remus looked around the hall anxiously…suddenly a door appeared on the side of the wall that wasn't there before. Sirius glanced at in surprise but before he could even wonder where it came from Remus opened the door.
"Quick, in there!" he said, pushing Sirius into the room and slamming the door behind them. Once inside Remus put his ear to the door and strained his ear to hear what was going on outside.
"Hm…where are they?! I heard a door slam! Grrr…must be around somewhere…think they can fool me?! HA! I'll show them! I'll patrol this hallway ALL NIGHT if I have to!" they both heard Filch snarl.
Remus groaned and put his hands through his hair angrily "Great! Just…perfect! No wands, no magic…Filch roaming the halls! Well get comfortable Sirius because we're probably gonna have to sleep here! Ugh…if only there was a cot or something…we need a bed of some kind!"
Just as he said that some candles in the back of the room flickered on, revealing a bed big enough for at least 5 people.
Remus blinked "Wow…that was…convenient…"
Sirius chuckled and walked over to the bed where he sat at the edge and started wringing his cloak out "I'll say. I'm surprised the IC didn't get soaked too! That was a close- OW! Hey!"
Remus had thrown one of his shoes at him "YOU IDIOT!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Angering those centaurs…YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED!!"
Sirius ducked the other incoming shoe then looked up angrily to argue but one look at Remus made his anger melt away. He nearly jumped to his feet when he caught sight of it "Rem…you're hurt!"
This was the first time since the forest he'd actually looked at Remus. He was soaked from head to toe in his pajamas, shivering and holding his left shoulder with his right hand, covering up his bleeding.
But Remus didn't seem moved by his concern as he said "It's just a scratch and don't chance the subject! You know what they're like, why didn't you just keep your big mouth shut?!"
Sirius frowned "They shouldn't have said that stuff about you! They don't even know you!"
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Sirius, they're just words! Don't you think I'm use to that by now?! There's no hiding it! When I'm older that's all I'll EVER hear and you think getting in fights about it is gonna make it any better?! I probably won't be able to get a JOB! Shunned! Don't you think…I should be…u-used to words like that by now?!" he shouted, though his voice faltered slightly.
Sirius frowned "You didn't seem so use to it a moment ago…fact, it sound like it really tore you up inside."
Remus sighed "Of course it does…but you shouldn't just act on your emotions! That's really stupid! We almost died! You just have to put up a good front and pretend it doesn't hurt you! I do it all the time anyway…"
It was silent for a while after that.
Sirius stared at Remus for a long time but Remus looked away. When Remus didn't meet his eye Sirius turned his attention to the shoulder he was holding. The wound didn't look like it was bleeding that much, but with all that it was introduced to, it could probably get an infection if it wasn't looked at.
"Take off your shirt." Sirius said unthinkingly.
Remus looked up in so much alarm his eyebrows nearly got lost in his hair.
Sirius gave him an annoyed look "I need to look at your shoulder."
He nodded slowly "Yeah…course…"
Still shivering he unbuttoned his pajama top and sat at the edge of the bed next to Sirius. Sirius looked closely at the gash that was still bleeding. He moved Remus arm up and down and to both sides, making him wince slightly.
"Hmmm…doesn't look too bad…hold on, I'll go look for a first aid kit." Sirius said, getting up.
Remus nodded and Sirius walked until he was out of view.
He sighed and walked around the dark room that looked virtually empty "Ok…first aid kit, first aid kit…I need a first aid kit, not something fancy but-"
No sooner than when the words left his mouth did a candle suddenly light and he saw 5 first aid kits neatly stacked on a shelf. He blinked in surprise as he approached them and for a moment he just stared at them…then, he slowly reached out and grabbed the first one…they were real!
"Wow…what a cool room…hm, I guess if you need something, all you have to do is say it or think about how badly you need it…that's probably how Rem found the room to begin with…" Sirius said with a smile.
Shrugged, he took the first aid kit of the shelf and back to the center of the room where Remus sat on the bed, looking around.
-Flashback ends-
He shook his head when the picture-show in his head stopped. That was another unexpected one that didn't show any signs of why he just remembered it.
"Centaurs? When the hell was that?!" he said aloud, but soon wished he hadn't.
"Sirius?! I CAN HEAR YOU UP THERE!!" Seri's voice shouted from a lower level.
He bit his lip to keep from anymore speaking and walked around, feeling the walls and thinking as hard as he could "I need that room Remus and I hid in! When we ran from Filch or whatever…that one room, the hiding room! I need a place to hide, that one room!"
Just as it seemed like it wasn't going to work and he felt stupid for even trying it, a door suddenly appeared, just as it had in his lost memory. He smiled "Yes!"
Seri sounded around the corner "Sirius? I'm gonna get you!"
Quickly he opened the door and slammed it behind him. That was the fourth time in one day he regretted doing something. His slamming the door made the other person in the room wake up.
---
Remus grunted slightly at the sudden noise. It wasn't like he was dreaming of anything, but it was still a comfortable sleep that took him hours to get to that was disrupted and most of all, it was by the last person he wanted to see.
He yawned and sat up sleepily; rubbing his eyes…he blinked a few times then looked back at the door. His brain took a moment to turn on but when it did he frowned, "Sirius-"
Before he could get another word out Sirius ran up to him and covered his mouth with his hand "Shhh!"
Remus was quiet for a moment; long enough to hear what he was hiding from.
"When I find you Sirius you better know the way to the hospital wing 'cuz I'm going to send you there in pieces!!" Seri's anger voice came muffled through the door.
Sirius stood there covering his mouth until it sounded like Seri had passed. Remus was not in the mood to wait for him to leave and unexpectedly bit the palm that covered his mouth.
Sirius quickly pulled it back "Ow! Geez…don't you think you've bitten me enough for one year?!" he snapped.
"I don't know, you put enough people's lives in jeopardy for one year?" Remus shot back.
Sirius made a strangling motion in the air "Would you just…SHHH! Please! Could we put this fight on hold, just for a moment?"
"Sirius? I know you're around here somewhere!" came from the other end of the door.
Remus glared at him heatedly, it'd serve him right to get caught by Seri and beat up for…whatever it was he did to make her mad…but, some insane little voice told him to be nice…the little voice was called sympathy.
"You don't really wanna start a war with Sirius; just give him the chance to apologize at least…look at him! Don't rat him out, what kind of friend would do that?"
All these were true so, Remus crossed his arm and turned his back but said nothing. Sirius grinned and a looked relieved, mouthing 'thank you'. Remus bit back a smile, why were Sirius' smiles so contagious?
Though he was mad at him right now, he couldn't help but notice how nice he smelt, his company seemed to bring a little peace of mind, though that was overridden by his stubborn anger.
They stayed silent until they heard Seri murmur "Hm…maybe he wasn't here…it was probably the 8th floor…yeah, I'll check there!" and heard the fading footsteps.
Sirius smiled "Phew! Thanks Remus, I owe you one…"
"More then one, I'm sure." He muttered.
Sirius frowned and opened his mouth to reply…but slowly closed it. He scoffed and walked to the door "Never mind…"
"Stop being such a jerk! You're never gonna make up that way!"
"I'm trying but…grh, I'm still so angry!" he told the little voice.
"So let it go! Do you really want to lose one of your closest friends over something so stupid?!"
"A real friend wouldn't do something like that! And a real friend would know when to apologize!"
"Look, Remus…" Sirius said suddenly.
Remus looked over his shoulder to see that he'd stopped at the door.
Sirius sighed and turned back around "I'm not really one to apologize but…I know what I did was…was awful. There's no excuse I could use to make up for it…I'm sorry. I really am and I'm not just saying that. I wasn't really thinking about how it'd affect you…I was an asshole, ok? Can we just stop this already? I'm sick of fighting with one of my best friends…"
Remus' arms slowly loosened though he still had his back to Sirius.
"…You were saying? Mr. Jerk?"
Remus bit his lip for a moment, then slowly turned back around "Yeah…I guess…I wasn't all that nice about anything either…I left you in the dark on something that concerned you the most…I was no better….I'm sorry to…"
Sirius smiled slightly "Well that's good to know."
Remus nodded "Yeah…"
It was quiet for a while. They were able to look at each other now, but it was still somewhat awkward.
"…Even still, that last one really hurt…" Sirius muttered unexpectedly.
Remus blinked "Hm?"
Sirius walked to the edge of the bed "…'You ARE worthy of the name Black'…"
Remus looked down "Oh that…yeah, that was uncalled for, I must have sounded like a total ass."
"Low blow, to say the least…yeah, you kinda did." Sirius said, sitting on the bed.
Remus frowned slightly "You don't have to agree."
Sirius grinned "I know."
Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes, though this time he smiled…it felt like old times.
"…So, would you mind maybe…taking it back?" Sirius said slowly.
Remus blinked "What? The worthy thing?"
Sirius nodded solemnly "Yes. I'm not joking, that's been bugging me all day…especially to hear it from a friend like you, I musta really screwed up. Please…"
The sincere pleading in his voice also proved how badly this was bothering him…and his eyes…Remus looked away, damn! His eyes got him every time!
Remus sighed "Oh alright, I honestly didn't think it'd bother you that much but…I take it back. You have no right to call yourself a Black. You fail to be one."
Sirius grinned and felt like a huge weight had been lifted "Thanks."
Remus nodded "I mean it to."
It was quiet after that for a moment.
Sirius looked like he wanted to say something but kept his mouth closed and twiddled his thumbs…Remus waited, because he could tell Sirius was dying to say, whatever it was.
Finally Sirius took a breath "You said…you accidentally…well…the wolf did it really but…someone died?" the words seemed ill-prepared and awkward as they spilled out of his mouth.
Remus looked surprised "Wait…you really don't remember?"
Sirius shook his head "Uh-ah. Out of all the things I'm suddenly remembering, you telling me that isn't one of them…"
He sighed and looked down sadly "Yes…well, it was a muggle girl, back where I used to live…she was the first friend I ever really had…I just didn't want to kill another friend so close to me…that's why it hurt so bad. I thought you remembered that and were just trying to put me through it again…you were the only one I told about it and…well, if you did remember it, then the low blow comment would've fit the picture."
Sirius frowned "Oh no way. Remus I'd never do that. I mean, you're one of my best friends! I didn't even know. Or rather, I can't remember when you told me."
Remus waved a hand dismissively "It's unimportant, anyways, I'm actually pretty tired, mind leaving so I can get some sleep?" he really wanted to get off the subject, it was bad enough he'd accused Sirius of it in the first place.
Sirius frowned slightly but nodded "Alright, alright. Seri'll probably tear me apart when I get out there but, you know, I'll survive it somehow…"
Remus chuckled softly "Yeah, I can imagine…(yawn)…well, goodnight, or whatever time it is…"
Sirius nodded "Right." and walked to the door.
Remus yawned once more and crawled back to the top of the bed and under the covers, still pretty tired. He had a feeling he'd sleep much better now that he wasn't thinking about how angry he was or anything.
"Oh and so you know…" Sirius said from the doorway.
Remus looked up "Hm?"
Sirius turned back and gave him a stern look "Just cuz we're friends again doesn't mean I agree to this whole 'mate' thing. I'm not that easy."
Remus put his hands up defensively "I never said that."
Sirius nodded "Don't think it either." and walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.
Remus rolled his eyes and dropped back on the pillows "What's a guy got to do to get a peaceful sleep without thoughts on the brain?" he muttered to the ceiling.
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End A/N: Hm, I'm not sure. Anyone got an answer to that question let me know; I'm up half the night thinking! Well again, sorry I took so long, I'll try to be quicker with this next chap. Hope it didn't suck or anything, I tried to make it good but quick. Review if you please, I know I'd enjoy it!
(1) That's one of my favorite paradoxes (or oxymoron, which ever)
