Chapter 29
Olivia slept with earplugs in to avoid being woken up by the rooster. She woke up at around 8, wearing the pyjamas Sheila had packed for her. She had a towel, too, which she took out of her suitcase and headed for the bathroom. She took a quick shower, knowing that they were probably on a well, got dressed in the bathroom and headed outside.
The backyard was beautiful. The grass was thick and emerald green. Beyond the fence she could see Jane riding a jet black horse, trotting back towards the house. "Boy, you city folks sure can sleep. Care for a ride?" She called to Olivia, bringing her horse to a stop beside the fence.
"Are you kidding me? I'd kill myself," Olivia said, approaching the fence and looking up at Jane. The horse was huge, much bigger than she'd expected.
"On Thor here you might, but Dixie's a real sweetheart."
"No thanks, I'm bruised and broken enough."
"Suit yourself." Jane dismounted the horse and tied him securely to the fence while she took off his saddle. Olivia watched while she took all of the equipment off the horse, none of which she could name or put back on if her life depended on it. Jane put everything back in the tack room, chatting with Olivia while she did. As they were heading back to the house they heard a car pull into the driveway. "I wonder who that is."
Olivia followed Jane around the house to the driveway, where a man was stepping out of his car, looking around curiously. His eyes found Olivia and he rushed towards her. "Olivia!" He wrapped his arms tightly around her and felt like he couldn't let go.
"Shawn, how did you find me?"
"Sheila gave me the number and Elliot looked up the number for me. I'm sorry I didn't call, but I had to see you."
"You came all the way out here?"
"I was already here, believe it or not. My parents don't live far from here."
"You're Erin's boy?" Jane said.
"Yeah, you know my mom?"
"She's an old family friend. I visit her all the time but I never seem to visit while you're there. We can talk later, though; I'll leave you two alone." She winked at Olivia and went inside.
"I thought I'd never see you again," he said, holding Olivia at arms length to examine her wounds. She still had light bandages covering the left side of her neck and her right shoulder. Her wrist was in a cast. Her hands were scraped raw from being in the woods, as were her knees, though they were hidden but her jeans. She had a cut on her cheek that seemed to be healing well and a light bruise on her jaw.
Olivia smiled. "I look awful."
"No. You're beautiful. Few days up here and you'll be good as new."
"To be honest I was a little worried you'd given up on me. Everyone thought I was dead."
"Well, to be honest I thought you were dead, too, but I'm not the kind of guy who goes out to a bar the minute he finds out his girlfriend's dead. When they told me what happened…God, Olivia, I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do. I didn't realize how much I cared about you until now." He slid his hands around her waist and rested his forehead against hers.
"This doesn't change anything. I don't want anything to change. It's just something that happened; I'm happy with where we are right now."
"I love you."
"See, now that's changing things," Olivia said, unable to resist the smile that came over her. Shawn just smiled and kissed her softly. "Oh, alright. I love you, too."
"I knew you'd come around. You being kidnapped didn't change anything, it just made me realize how I feel."
Olivia sighed and closed her eyes. "You might not have changed, but I have. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this."
"If you need to talk, I'm right here."
"No, Shawn, you don't need to hear any of it."
"Nothing you can say is going to faze me."
"You haven't heard the story yet," she said, turning away. Shawn grabbed her arms gently to pull her back but she pulled away quickly, her heart rate doubling, flashing back to her battle with Jack, who shared an unfortunate resemblance to Shawn. She wrapped her arms around herself and started to cry.
"Olivia, I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around her and at first she pulled away, but he spoke soothingly and she let him hold her. He stroked her hair soothingly. "Tell me what happened, Liv. I'm not going anywhere."
"I killed him, Shawn. I only needed to hit him once, in the neck, but I was just so angry, I couldn't stop." Olivia was sobbing hard now and she could no longer speak. Shawn stroked her hair gently until she found her voice again. "It looked like an animal attacked him, Shawn. And I was…growling - like my humanity was gone. If I ever saw someone acting like that, even holding a gun I'd be terrified. I've killed people before, Shawn, but I've never wanted to kill someone. I wanted him to die."
Shawn was quiet for a while, letting Olivia cry in his arms. Finally he said, "He terrorized you, Olivia. He was going to kill you, and you did what you had to do to survive. Your anger and adrenalin were in overdrive. That's not you and we both know it."
They stood outside in the gentle breeze for a while and Olivia slowly relaxed in Shawn's arms. "It's so good to have you here."
Shawn kissed her top of her head, the scent of her shampoo driving him crazy. Everything about her was so perfect, and he never wanted to let her go again. "When are you going back to New York?"
"Once everything clears and Cragen says I can go back to work. Until then I'd rather be here than just sitting around my apartment. When are you leaving?"
"Whenever you want." He kissed her softly and she smiled.
Jane had no problem letting Shawn stay. They had plenty of room and Shawn spent a large portion of each day visiting his parents, at Olivia's insistence. She didn't want to be rude to Jane by spending all of her time with Shawn. Jane of course said it was no problem, but Olivia made Shawn leave anyway. They had nights together, after all (though Olivia felt a little awkward having sex in Jane's house, so she changed the sheets herself regularly). Jane and Olivia went to the mall and Olivia got several new outfits to get her through her vacation.
It didn't take long for the local homicide detectives to find the cabin Olivia had described, and the bodies inside. They wanted Olivia's statement and she had given it without complaint. She told them about being kidnapped and put in the trunk more than once to move to various locations. She told them about Jack's strange behaviour and his henchmen who never took their masks off. She told them, with some difficulty and a lot of tears, how she had attacked Jack, unable to stop herself when he was dead, and how she had killed Chris to keep him from coming after her. As she spoke, she became increasingly uncertain. Had killing Chris really been necessary? She hadn't been dizzy with adrenalin at that point, and she had been clear-headed enough to get information from him. What if they decided she was a murderer? As soon as she was released she went to the bathroom and threw up until her stomach was completely empty.
Back at Jane's house Olivia went straight to her room without a word to anyone. She curled up on her bed and cried silently for a long time, until her sorrow and fear carried her off to sleep. She awoke to the sound of Shawn knocking on her door and he pushed the door open slowly before she could say anything. "Hey. Jane told me what happened. Are you okay?"
Olivia nodded and stared out the window. Normally she loved staring at the stars that she had never really seen before, but at that moment she didn't care. Shawn took off his jeans and slid under the covers next to her, wrapping his arms around her. "What if they think I'm a murderer?"
"You're not. It was self defence," he whispered, kissing her neck gently.
"I didn't have to kill Chris. He was just sitting there, holding his neck, he probably would have bled to death or gone to the hospital and been arrested."
"You had no idea where you were going, you were injured, you would have been an easy target for anyone who came after you. You had to kill him, Olivia, or he might have hunted you down."
"But…"
"No. You're not a murderer, Olivia. You did what you had to do and everyone's behind you. Everything will work out fine." Before she could object he kissed her passionately and she melted under his touch, her mind racing with desire until she forgot everything.
