Title/Song: Get Used To Somebody
Artist: Tim McGraw
Date: 12/23/08
Disclaimer: I don't own Mr. McGraw Faith Hill does. I don't own the song that's Tim's. I don't own Supernatural that's Kripke.
Summary: Autumn pushes through the first few months after "losing" Dean.
A/N: I've had this in my notebook a few days and am just getting time to type it. I'll have a christmassy fic up tonight too with any luck. Things have been a mess here lately so I've started the next chapter of Bread Crumbs but I'm not always near the PC to work on it. Oneshots get time in a notebook.
I thought I felt you touch my cheek this morning
But I must've been dreaming
And in the middle of the night without warning
I thought I heard you breathing
Me and my so-called independence
I've got this loneliness that's so relentless
I guess you get used to somebody
Kind of like having them around
I guess you get used to the way they make you happy
Bring you up when you're feeling down
I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I would wake up and miss you this much
I guess you get used to somebody
Get used to being loved
Autumn actually hit her head on the off-white wall. One day she would have to get her ass in gear and paint these walls. But lately she just didn't have the energy for such a feat. Making breakfast was like running eight miles. She couldn't believe how difficult life was without Dean could be. The girls came running in expecting dinner to be ready. It wasn't due to a combination of her fatigue and seeing, feeling, smelling, and generally sensing Dean constantly. As soon as she'd place the sensations as him they would flee. Kendra saw the look on her face. Autumn knew she must look like hell frozen over when her little daughter turned to her sisters and ordered them out.
"We need to wash our hands!" She declared in her ever superior tone. In any normal situation Kelly would rise to the occasion and bicker with the girl. Instead she dutifully took Kayla's hand and led her off.
Autumn pulled herself together as her charges left her. She didn't feel like doing anything lately. But that was the pregnancy. It would pass. She returned to the stove quickly finishing dinner. By the time the girls returned she had pasted a smile back on her face. They couldn't know how badly she felt. They couldn't know how badly she missed Dean. Dean would have helped with things. He would keep the girls in like. He could hold her hair back in the mornings when she heaved whatever had passed her lips in the last 12 hours into the toilet bowl. She glanced at the phone on the counter. Instead of picking it up she threw back the prenatal vitamins. Instead of calling him up and telling him she was carrying his child she sat down with their girls.
I kind of miss those rambling conversations
Where we'd talk about nothing
The way you always make me laugh at my frustrations
Baby that was something
I should have been careful of what I wished for
'Cause I've got my freedom and so much more
I guess you get used to somebody
Kinda like having them around
I guess you get used to the way they make you happy
Bring you up when you're feeling down
I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I'd wake up and miss you this much
I guess you get used to somebody
I guess you get used to being loved
"Have you told him yet?" Athena asked. Will had the girls at the park. When they were between jobs Athena was sure to drag Will out to see the girls and help her sister out. Will cringed at the mention of Dean so they had to be sure he was gone to talk about him. To Will's way of thinking Dean had abandon her. It didn't matter that he was sent away or that he didn't know she was pregnant. To him Dean should never have chosen hunting over Autumn. Neither of the Daemon women had the courage to tell him he'd once abandon both of them just as wet in the way of hunting as Autumn was in the ways of parenting.
"Oh yes!" Autumn chirped. "I called him told him that I dumped him because I freaked when I found out he'd knocked me up. Now I regret it and want him back. But then again that could be hormones and the fact that I'm fighting an overwhelming uphill battle." she rolled her hazel eyes. "I just can't call him."
"Sis, the moment you tell him you're pregnant he'll be on his way back. It wouldn't even matter if it wasn't his." Athena argued. Deep, deep, down Autumn knew her sister was right. She just couldn't do that. She couldn't admit she was wrong. She had sent him away to protect him and now she had to hold tightly to her reasoning. There were going to be many trials up ahead and she would have to give up a lot for their children but keeping him away was protecting him.
"And if I miscarry like before?" She challenged Athena.
"How can he blame you for that!?!?! As long as you're taking the vitamins and everything he can't say anything. Even if you weren't Dean isn't the type to hold that sort of thing against you. What man could hold it against you?"
"Teenie, I just can't. I'm sorry." Athena was silent for a long time just watching her sister. She'd bitten off more than she could chew. There was no way she could raise four kids on her own. She couldn't do this.
"Ok Autty, what's the game plan?"
"I do what I have to do. At any cost another Winchester will not die, not if I can help it." Autumn said determinately.
I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I would wake up and miss you this much
I guess you get used to somebody
I guess you get used to being loved
I guess that you get used to somebody
I guess you get used to being loved
