Hello my lovely readers! So, Gianna is a ho. Let's see what happens...

But before we do, I have to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of my faithful readers, reviewers, alerters, and rec-pimps. You guys are fucking amazing and I love the shit outta you. Seriously, you are the best supporters ever and I can only hope that every other author out there has the same support and love that you guys have given me. You make it worth it to stay up all night to finish a chapter. Not to mention inspire me to work on another.

If you haven't seen my new/not-so-new story, The Mating Bond, and you like vamp fics you might want to check it out!

Thanks to Lambie for always taking time out of her very busy life to look over my shit!

This isn't mine...


If the real thing don't do the trick,

You better make up something quick,

You gonna burn into the wick,

Aren't you, barracuda.

~Barracuda: Heart~


~Edward~

The sound of shattering glass mixed with the gut wrenching sound of Bella's sobs quickly pulls me from my rage induced fog. I turn toward the sound only to find the love of my life with one hand placed protectively over abdomen, and the other placed over her mouth trying in vain to quiet her cries, surrounded by shards of glass and spilled soda at her bare feet.

I dash to her side effortlessly lifting her into my arms like a child and place her on the back of the couch, noticing the small dribble of blood on the side of her delicate foot.

Before I have a chance to tend to her wound, however, she grabs on to the front of my shirt for dear life and buries her face into my chest. I don't say anything but instead wind my arms around her and rub her back soothingly, wanting nothing more at this fucked up moment than to be close to her and offer her any comfort I can.

Finally, after what feels like forever, she looks up at me. Her bottomless brown eyes, although shining with leftover tears, are fierce. I was expecting to see sadness and devastation, but no. What I see reflected back at me in those eyes I love so much is fury. My girl is fucking pissed. There's the little spitfire I love so much.

"Baby, I promise I never touched her. You know this…" I don't have a chance to get through my explanation before Bella places on of her slender fingers against my lips effectively shushing me.

"I know, ciccino. Don't think for a minute that I believe that bitch's lies. I'm just so goddamn angry. How could she do something like this? Huh? She does realize that we are going to demand a paternity test, doesn't she? I mean how fucking stupid is she gonna look in the media when the test confirms that you are not that baby's father? Jesus, she really is fucking crazy."

It is at this moment that the sadness finally seeps into her expression. "What are we gonna do? This should've been such a happy day." Her emotions are all over the place, but I guess it's to be expected with the pregnancy hormones and all.

"It is a happy day, baby." I try to reassure her as I place my hand over our child while pressing kisses all over her beautiful face. "I'm so fucking happy." She nods her head in agreement but I can clearly see that she's still upset. She doesn't shrink back into herself though, my girl is fucking ready to rumble. It's a little scary and a whole lot sexy if I'm being perfectly honest.

"You know what? Fuck this shit! Imma cut that bitch. You don't fuck with my man and you sure as hell don't fuck with my baby and get away with that shit. I'll bring that bitch down with my bare fucking hands if I have to! How fucking dare she rain on my pregnancy parade! Well, that fucking cunt messed with the wrong woman and she better watch her fucking back. I'm gonna fuck. Her. Up. Oh, you just wait, bitch."

Christ.

Gotta love the bitch-brow.

And the little back-n-forth head action.

And the way she's crossing her arms, putting those perfect titties on display for me.

Fuck, now I'm hard.

Awesome.

"Let me take a look at that cut. I wanna make sure there's no glass stuck in it."

Thankfully there isn't and the cut is so tiny that it is already scabbed up by the time I kneel before her. I leave her to her seething while I clean up the mess, and I'm just finishing up when the house phone rings. When I look up at Bella to see if she'll answer it, I see that she's already deep in conversation on her cell phone. She mouths 'Victoria' at me when I shoot her a questioning glance as I pass her to answer the landline.

It's a fucking reporter, of course, and I don't hesitate to let the fucker know that Gianna is a lying bitch whom I never touched, and that there is no possible way that I could've fathered her bastard kid. I also tell him to go ahead and quote me on that.

From what I can hear of Bella's conversation with Victoria, it sounds like Victoria wants us to do a live interview admonishing Gianna's false claims. She wants to announce the interview during the statement she intends to release as soon as they hang up. I guess E!, Nightline, and Entertainment Tonight are all vying for the interview.

I leave that decision up to Bella and quickly get Jenks on the line wanting nothing more at this moment than to see what our options for retaliation are for that crazy whore. I'm also curious as to how she was able to give this live interview when she is supposedly being looked for by authorities. What the fuck, right?

Jenks answers almost immediately, thank fuck, and is quick to reassure me that there are indeed a couple of things that we can do. He strongly urges me to calm my temper and to not contact her in any way, as much as I'd like to tear that bitch apart, because it could end up being detrimental to our cause. He also answers my question as to how she is able to give a live interview if she is wanted by the police.

It turns out that she was being sought as a 'missing person', not a criminal because according to California law, she hasn't done anything illegal. All that crazy shit she wrote about wanting to hurt Bella means nothing unless she follows through with it. Only at that point can that shit be used as evidence and even that may be questionable considering how we came across her journals. How fucked up is that? Honestly, it just makes me hate her even more if that's even possible.

I flick my eyes over to Bella as I hear her voice raise and notice that she is back to the 'mean girl head bob'. It's obvious that she is reciting the whole story to whoever it is she's on the phone with and by the way she is ranting, I can tell that it is no longer Victoria. I can vaguely hear Jenks calling for my attention, but I'm so caught up in watching my wife that I barely register it. It's only when I realize that she is talking to Lizzy that I'm able to return my attention back to Jenks.

Jenks and I agree to demand a paternity test immediately, at the facility of my choice and that no contact whatsoever will be made between Bella, the cunt and myself. All communication will be handled through Jenks and his legal team, and it will be initiated first thing in the morning. As soon as the results of the paternity test come in, Jenks says it could take up to forty-eight hours, I will directly file a defamation of character lawsuit against her. I swear to all that is holy that I will drag that bitch through the mud and then some. There is no way she will come out of this with any kind of dignity left to her fucking name. I don't give a shit if I have to take Tanya, Rosalie, Collin and his faggot boyfriend down with her. Promises be damned. She messed with the wrong people and let me tell you, that bitch is going down in flames.

Bella walks up and wraps her arms around my waist just as I end the call with Jenks and informs me that Victoria, along with Heidi, will be here at six and that a film crew from the E! network will be arriving at seven. That gives us an hour or so to talk with Victoria and decide exactly what it is we're going to say. Apparently, a teaser of the interview will be aired tonight on their nightly news and that the full interview will be aired tomorrow evening.

Bella looks absolutely breathtaking, pissed but still breathtaking, when she takes her place next to me on the sofa. She is wearing a tight fitting, black off the shoulder sweater along with those leather looking legging things I love so much and a pair of leopard print stiletto shoes. Fucking hot. I don't bother to change out of my black long-sleeved thermal, I merely push the sleeves up to my elbows. What-the-fuck-ever.

Vic and Heidi take their places behind Miranda (the interviewer) just as she informs us that the camera is rolling. My Bella looks sexy and confident, the only thing that gives away her nerves is the death grip she's got on my thigh.

Miranda: "Congratulations on your recent nuptials. From the footage I've seen it was such a beautiful ceremony. What made you choose New Orleans?"

Bella: "Thank you. It really was stunning. We are so happy together. We chose New Orleans because aside from the fact that the timing worked out, I just love the city. It is such a perfect representation of us, ya know?"

Miranda: "Yes, well, congratulations again."

Bella merely nods with a perfectly sweet dimpled grin, but I can tell by her stiff posture that she really just wants to get on with the reason this woman is here.

Miranda: "I'm sure you've seen the footage from the 'Gianna Velarde interview' this afternoon. I assume that is why you've invited me into your gorgeous home this evening. Why don't we go ahead and talk about that, shall we? Let's start with your reaction to the news that Ms. Velarde is allegedly expecting a child fathered by your husband."

Bella and I both speak at the same time:

"That's bullshit."

"That is a complete fabrication."

Of course Bella sounds much more articulate than me. You'd never guess that I held a doctorate degree. Christ, I need to get it together. I shoot Bella a small smile indicating that I've got to get this off of my chest. Being the perfect woman that she is, she understands immediately and nods her head for me to continue.

"Look, the fact of the matter is that Gianna is full of shit. I've never even touched her aside from a professional handshake so I'm sure you can imagine how delusional she sounds to me, and my wife not that she is indicating that we've been intimate. It's a complete and total lie. There is no conceivable way that I could be the father of her child. None."

Miranda: "Well, I can certainly see that you are frustrated by the situation, Edward. I'm sure this is putting an undue strain on your relationship and an unnecessary and negative focus on your band, but I'm sure you can understand how bad the situation looks. It's quite complicated after all."

Me: "No, I don't. Gianna and I have never had a relationship beyond a professional one and we unquestionably have never had sex, end of story. I don't see how that's complicated at all." Bitch is starting to piss me off.

Miranda: "Of course. Well, during our interview with Ms. Velarde, she indicated that the indiscretion happened while you were in Barcelona this summer. According to her, you had a fight with Isabella and stormed out of the mansion you all were sharing. She said that she went with you to a local bar and that you followed her to the ladies room in acceptance of her invitation for sex. She says that night is when she conceived the child that she is carrying. What reason does she have to make this up? We've confirmed with the pub she mentioned that you were indeed there that evening."

It is so hard to keep my cool and maintain what little composure that I have at this point when all I really want to do is punch this bitch's smug look off of her ugly fucking face as she continues, "Considering your track record with women in your past, can you see how not only does this scenario seem completely possible, but completely plausible as well?"

Bella tightens her grip on my thigh in a silent command for me to keep my fucking mouth shut. Holy fucking hell is it hard to swallow my ire and keep my commentary to myself. Instead I look over at my girl, who is radiating nothing but grace and confidence, and let her take over from here. It really is best if I keep my foul mouth shut. Especially with the way my temper is currently boiling over. Yes, I was at the pub that night but I barely said anything to anyone other than the bartender, and that blonde chick I told to take a hike. Oh, and I signed autographs for a couple of fans. That's it, I fucking swear it. My Bella knows this already.

Bella's voice is steady and sure with only a slight hint of superiority, "Miranda, I realize that getting the scoop on the next big story is how you make a living, and believe it or not, I respect that. What I don't respect…or accept…is you coming into our home and insinuating not only that my husband was unfaithful to me, but also that he is lying about it. I know all about his past, and that's all it is to me. His past. As in, before me. So while it's unfortunate that those women allowed themselves to be treated so callously, I honestly don't believe that it has any relevance on what we are talking about now, in the present.

As for Gianna, I think it's really sad that she feels the need to make up such convoluted lies. And while I believe with all of my heart that she hopes to cause problems in our marriage, she is sadly mistaken. And probably very disappointed, because this show of desperation has done nothing but bring Edward and I closer together. I'm honestly embarrassed for her. Extremely embarrassed. She appears, to us, as nothing more than a delusional fool."

Damn, my wife is amazing. Truly fucking amazing.

Miranda: "Those are very harsh words to declare when the issue of paternity has yet to be determined."

Bella: "There is no issue of paternity. And most importantly, there is no issue of infidelity, but a simple test will publically prove what Edward and I already know as fact."

That's right, baby, I've never been, nor will I ever be unfaithful to you. You and the baby are everything to me. I take a moment to gaze into those beautiful brown eyes I love so much as she continues, "Besides, I'm not about to let Gianna and her crazy accusations hinder the complete and utter joy we are experiencing now that we found out that we are expecting our first child."

My whole demeanor softens at the mention of our child, and my hand flies over her flat stomach in a protective and instinctual manner. I can look at her with nothing but complete love and adoration.

My family.

Fuck, that feels good to think about. Bella continues to speak while I'm lost in my thoughts, "It goes against my better judgment to say anything at this point in our pregnancy, but I feel like Edward and I deserve to have our moment. This all-consuming joy is the one thing I refuse to allow Gianna to take from us. It is ours, and I won't tolerate her petty jealousy and hopeless theatrics tainting it for us."

I bring my hand up to cradle her face, relishing in the softness of her skin against the callouses on my fingers as I brush my thumb across her plump bottom lip. She is so damn beautiful. "You're perfect, baby. I love you so much."

Her eyes shine with unshed tears and a happy smile graces her sinful mouth, "I love you, too."

Miranda: "Oh! I wasn't expecting an announcement like that when I was assigned this interview. How delightful! When are you due, Isabella?"

And because my girl can't resist, she lets Miranda in on the basic details. She even affords Miranda a quick peek of the sonogram picture. I realize that it is quite risky to announce a pregnancy before the fourth month, but I trust Bella's judgment. She's right, after all, she does deserve to bask in her elation and she does deserve to make her announcement. I can completely understand that she wouldn't want to wait six more weeks and then have our child overshadowed by Gianna's bastard.

My wife and my child deserve more than that.

Besides, Bella is young and healthy. And according to Dr. Leachman, there is nothing to worry about as far as the viability of baby Cullen is concerned.

But just to be on the safe side, I better get these fuckers out of here so Bella can rest. She has had a very stressful and emotional day.

**E**E**

It's after ten by the time I get all those assholes out of my house and Bella is fucking exhausted. She decided to call her dad, Seth, Lizzy and my mother back as soon as the camera crew started packing up their shit because we needed to fill them in on our plans for Gianna, so to speak, and also give them the good news about the baby. My mother is over the moon, needless to say, but her father…not so much. It's not that he's against the idea of us having kids, he just wishes we'd have waited a bit. I don't like his reaction, but I guess I can understand his point of view.

Somewhat.

Whatever.

What's done is done and I couldn't be happier about her decision to announce it.

When we finally get to bed, I make sure to let her know over and over just how okay with her decision I am.

Let's just say she got the message.

Loud and motherfucking clear.

Repeatedly.

Then she passed the fuck out.

Like I said before, I'm that fucking good. Just not as young as I used to be, apparently, because my back is fucking killing me. Damn that woman is flexible.

And now I'm hard.

Again.

With my face firmly panted between her sexy thighs, I make no apologies about waking her up as soon as I get her to our bed. Because while I may be an old motherfucker, the monster thinks he's still seventeen and he's goddamn insatiable. But only for my baby. And let me tell you, I eat that pussy good.

The next morning I find myself in our kitchen, donning only a pair of black boxer briefs, trying to make chocolate chip pancakes for my little momma to be. Thank Christ for my mother, cause I've had her on the phone all morning.

"What smells so good, ciccino?" Bella's sweet voice murmurs from behind me as she wraps her arms around my waist and trails her delicate fingers across the ridges of my abdomen.

I take one of her hands and pull it to my mouth for a kiss before inclining my head proudly toward my stack of oddly shaped pancakes.

When I finish placing the last one onto the plate, I turn in her embrace so that I'm able to properly kiss her delectable mouth.

"Mmmm. Good morning, baby."

"Morning, sweet husband of mine. Are these for me?" Her smile is gorgeous and it's just for me. I love to see the light in her eyes when she's this happy. It amazes me how just last night we were in the midst of a mud-slinging match with that cunt and today, she smiles at me like she doesn't have a care in the world. I honestly don't know how the fuck she does it.

Have I mentioned that my girl is amazing?

Yeah, motherfuckers, I thought so.

Just as I'm about to go back for another kiss, the house phone rings. I'm tempted to let it ring, but decide against it knowing that it could be an important call regarding our shit-tastic situation. When I answer the phone, I'm greeted with a very irate band mate.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell us B is knocked up? That's fucked up, bro."

"Why are you calling the house phone, asshole?"

"Cause you aren't answering your motherfucking cell phone. I mean, honestly Ed, why the fuck do you have one if you aren't even gonna answer it?"

"Chill the fuck out, motherfucker, I left it upstairs. I was making my woman some pancakes."

I roll my eyes at the teasing laughter on the other end of the line, "Why you little pussy whipped bitch! I didn't know you had it in you. Ha! Imma start calling you Eddie fuckin' Crocker."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Naw, seriously though, why didn't you tell us you're gonna be a daddy? It fuckin' pissed me off to hear that shit from a reporter this morning. Dude, I felt totally out of the loop. I'm sorry about the whole Gianna fiasco, by the way, dealing with that shit's gotta suck." Emmett is always without a filter, I swear.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you guys last night, that was fucked up. But, for the record, I was dealing with that shit-storm until late. Then I had to take care of my girl, you know what I'm sayin'? She was all kinds of pissed off about Gianna's stupid ass but then she's all ecstatic about the baby, ya know? I'm fucking exhausted if you know what I mean."

"I hear you, bro. So, whaddaya gonna do about the skank? I mean, the damage is done as far as the media goes. There isn't a whole lot you can do to make this shit go away…" Emmett trails off, leaving his heavy words hanging in the air like lead.

"Yeah, I know. B and I did an interview last night and it's supposed to air today. Hopefully people will believe what I have to say. I mean, the interviewer was a total bitch but I think she was on our side by the end of the interview. Bella's charming that way."

"Well, I guess we can only wait and see. I'm glad B announced the pending arrival of your spawn, though. I'm sure that's gonna be a hard pill for Gianna to swallow. Fucking bitch."

"I know. You shoulda seen her talking about the baby, man. Her eyes were all lit up and you could literally see the joy in her expression. She's gonna be such a good little momma."

"Holy fuck, dude. You're gonna be a father. I can't really grasp that. Like, you're gonna be totally responsible for another person."

"I know."

"That's fuckin' scary."

"I know."

"Good luck, bro."

"Thanks."

"You better hope it's not a girl. Cause if it is, and she looks anything like her mother, you're in big fucking trouble. That's all I gotta say."

My eyes flick over to my sexy as fuck wife, who is currently wearing nothing but one of my tee shirts while licking syrup off of her fingers. Those lips…fuck. Now I've gotta eat breakfast with a woody.

"I'm hanging up now, asshole."

By the time I sit down to eat with Bella, the pancakes are cold. That's okay, though, because being the amazing woman that she is-she comes over to my chair, straddles my lap, and feeds me so that I don't have to remove my hands from her big, juicy ass. Then she proceeds to lick and suck every trace of syrup off of my lips and tongue, while grinding her hot little scantily clad body against me.

"Ungh, Edward, mark me."

I waste no time doing just that as she offers me the delicate flesh of her throat.

Life is motherfucking good.

That is until Jenks calls and informs me that Gianna is refusing to allow the paternity test during her pregnancy because of the heightened risk for miscarriage. I hope to whatever higher power there is that he can get her to change her mind. I'm not above intimidation in this case. I ask about getting a court order, but Jenks informs me that I would have to say that there is a chance that I could be the father of her kid and there is no way in fucking hell that's ever gonna happen.

I know that Bella is just as disappointed with the news as me, but there really isn't anything we can do at this point but wait. Five and a half months of waiting for that bitch to have her bastard, so that we can do the test and finally be free of her crazy ass forever. Jesus, that's a long fucking time. It feels like we'll never be rid of her.

As soon as I finish up with the dishes, I head outside. I find Bella bundled up on the back porch watching Lily and Capo run around. She easily leans against my chest when I wrap my arms around her and even manages a small smile when I press a sloppy kiss to the side of her face.

"I hate that I can't make this go away for you."

Her eyes are sad when she turns in my embrace, but her words are full of loyalty and conviction. She even manages to make me chuckle. "I would walk through fire for you, ciccino. This is nothing we can't handle. Stop worrying, you're gonna give yourself grey hair. Then you'll really look old."

Her little hand in my hair feels fucking good, so I hunch over and lay my head on her shoulder.

"I won't let that bitch get to me, ciccino. I'm stronger than you think. We'll get through this."

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too."

And just as easy as that, she makes me believe that everything is gonna be okay. Things never seem to go smoothly for us, but we always manage to navigate through the shit together. And in all honesty, that's the most important thing. I've got to stop worrying about the bullshit I can't control and appreciate the good things. Bella and the baby are happy and healthy, and that's really all I can ask for.

This situation may suck, but I'm still the luckiest bastard on the motherfucking planet.

Around eleven o'clock, Bella finally comes downstairs. She is dressed in a beautiful black wrap-around dress, sexy black heels, and her hair is curled and hanging loose around her shoulders. Her tits look fucking spectacular, and I tell her so as I attack her mouth and roughly palm her bubbly ass.

"Come on my horny man, I've got to be at the auditorium by noon."

I grab her cap and gown, my keys, wallet and my coat, and follow her out the door.

It's a fucking madhouse when we arrive at the auditorium. There are paparazzi everywhere and I instantly feel like shit. Luckily, Bella is able to pull me from my wallowing before I really let it sour my mood.

"It's fine, ciccino. I expected it. Victoria said for us to just act normal, and answer their questions as honestly as we can. No big deal. Let's go."

I'm truly amazed by the grace and composure my girl has in the midst of all this mayhem. She smiles and jokes around with them and answers all of their stupid questions and by the time we reach the auditorium doors she has nearly all of the reporters wishing her well and declaring 'Team Bella'. She is truly incredible.

Maybe we'll be okay after all.

~Bella~

I'm trying so hard to be strong for him, but I feel like I'm going crazy inside. I can't believe that this bitch can come into our lives, turn it upside down again, and suffer absolutely no fucking consequences.

What. The. Fuck?

I mean, it's bad enough that she wrote all that depraved shit about hurting me and all the police told us is that there is nothing that they can do about it since she never directly threatened me, but for her to show up now and publically claim that my husband is the father of her child…

I think I'd rather suffer through the things she has in mind a thousand times than to have the media think that her baby is Edward's. This is the worst thing ever.

I hate that our baby joy is being tainted by that lying whore. And now she's refusing to have the test. I'm not going to wait five months for her to have that kid. It's just not fucking happening.

You know as well as I know, that after that long that people will always think it's his and that he abandoned it for our child. God, this fucking sucks. Jenks said that the only way we can demand the paternity test through the courts is for Edward to admit that there is a chance that the baby could be his. There is no way in hell that he's going to do that.

I don't blame him. I don't want that either. I just wish there was a way to make her do it right now, so I could stop worrying about this shit and enjoy my pregnancy. I'm so lost in thought that I barely hear my name being called when it's my turn to walk across the stage to get my diploma.

Three and a half years of hard work and I'm not even excited to receive my degree. Thanks a lot Gianna whore.

We return home after a nice celebratory dinner with the band, Eclipse's entire road crew, my dad and Sue, Seth and Sam, and Edward's family, Jenks, and Victoria and Heidi, and I have to admit that it was just what I needed. Being surrounded by everyone who loves and cares about me really brought my spirits up.

They teased Edward relentlessly about being pussy whipped and how he was going to fuck up our baby, but he took it all in stride and we were all laughing by the end of the night. Lizzy and Alec held on to me for what felt like ages, reminding me that Edward and I are not alone during this time. Lizzy also told me, with a ferocity that could rival a mother bear, not to let this little road bump ruin what should be the happiest time of my life.

Her words of wisdom really got me thinking. Next week, we are heading off to Chicago to finish out the tour-together, I'm pregnant with our first child, and in mere weeks we'll be heading out to stay with my beloved grandparents in Italy for an entire month. My life is pretty fucking sweet right now and I do intend to enjoy it.

Oh! And I finally get to meet Emmett's new chick, Makenna. She's really nice and Emmett seems pretty smitten with her. I guess things are looking up for him as well.

Our families and the band follow us to our house to help us finish packing up and also so Alec can finish Edward's 'me' tat. Holy hell, it's so goddamn amazing to see myself forever etched into his skin. That reminds me, I need to ask Alec to add our wedding date along my spine. Hopefully he thinks it will be alright to do it while I'm pregnant. I don't see why not.

Apparently neither does Alec, and let me tell you, the fresh ink drives Edward crazy…

…all fucking night.

The next day he has Alec copy the design to his spine as well.

We are so corny.

What-the-fuck-ever.

The next few days fly by. The interview with E! and the quick interaction we had with the paps just before my graduation seemed to have mollified the media for now. And while it's a little sad to say goodbye to dad and Seth, I'm way more excited to spend some much needed time with my husband.


Damn, what can we do so they don't have to wait five months for that test? That shit sucks about the police, no? That's really the law though. kinda scary...just saying.

Smooches,

Laila