When he and Sebastian first started to become friends, Blaine remembered occasionally wondering what, exactly, it was he saw in the other boy. Mostly it was after a talk with Kurt or one of the other members of New Directions who had been on the wrong end of his acerbic tongue. But his words were no worse than, say, Santana's and they certainly came less frequently.
Blaine had seen a different side to him, though; had met him while he was wearing the grin that almost only ever appeared while he was performing and was surrounded by people he considered if not friends than at the very least teammates. Then they had sat together over coffee and talked daily online and over the phone. Kurt had been convinced that all they ever did was flirt but (while Sebastian never shied away from a heavy-handed compliment) even he would have struggled to come up with enough innuendo laden comments to fill that much conversation.
He still remembered the moment that 'when I lived in Paris' (or Sydney, or Istanbul, or wherever else it was Sebastian had spent his childhood) turned to 'when I lived in Paris.'- a statement of fact laced with longing and not a means to impress.
Back when the Warblers still liked Sebastian. Or, at least, Blaine assumed they did by the way Jeff's name would casually come up in conversation, or David would mention something Sebastian had said after rehearsal with a laugh and a head shake. Only Trent had uncomplimentary things to say about their latest transfer and when Blaine had asked Sebastian about it, the Warbler had snorted, shaken his head and dismissively cited clashing personality and schoolboy politics.
Back when he was still a student at McKinley and foolishly thought he had his entire life planned out.
Somehow between then and now everything had changed. Most of those changes hadn't been good; he'd been temporarily blinded in one eye, abandoned, dumped, and even his transfer back had been tainted by lingering resentments and his rapidly failing relationship.
About a month ago he had started to realize that, even if he hadn't had the easiest time of it, the end result could be good. He was back at Dalton, he finally had a plan for his future that was his own and that he was excited for, he could go weeks (okay, maybe only a week) without even thinking about Kurt, and what he and Sebastian had was good.
The passing of Sebastian's grandmother was a really, really awful setback in their road to things getting better. But Blaine was determined to help him past it, whatever it took. Because Sebastian might've spent an unnecessarily large part of his life being a jerk to the people around him but he deserved happiness.
xxx
"Huh."
They were sitting in the Senior Commons; Blaine trying to wrap his head around a particularly tricky chemistry set and Sebastian was working on an essay for his comparative government class. The topic, economic liberalization in China, had been giving him a bit of trouble, although Blaine suspected it was more due to lack of interest than because the concept was a difficult one for him to grasp.
"Find something interesting?" He barely glanced up, well used to Sebastian's odd (and endearing) tendency to talk to himself while working on projects.
"E-mail," he replied in the distracted manner that meant he was concentrating on whatever had been sent to him.
Blaine kept his eyes focused on his notebook and pretended to still be working out the problem as his mind raced to wonder what Sebastian had received that was important enough that he was willing to share.
"I got in to college." Sebastian had a stunned look on his face, like he wasn't quite sure how to feel about it and he was looking to Blaine to tell him what his reaction should be.
"That's good?" Blaine tried cautiously. "To be in somewhere… at all. Even if it's not your first choice. At least you've got something?" He tried not to feel too bad about the fact that he still hadn't told… well anyone about his own news on that front. Honestly, with everything that had gone on since, it had completely been pushed from his mind.
"It is though. My first choice." He let out a choked noise that sounded like it wanted to be a laugh.
"Oh! That's… that's really great, Sebastian." He felt the grin spreading across his face because it was hard to not be excited about something like that (although Sebastian seemed to be doing a pretty good job of it). "Where is it?"
As much as Dalton boys didn't tend to talk about their applications, he and Sebastian had avoided the topic like the plague. Blaine could at least hazard a guess as to where the other senior Warblers applied, but he didn't even know where Sebastian had been looking.
(Nor was it something he let himself think about too much because chances were they'd be hundreds if not thousands of miles apart and if couldn't make a relationship work with only 500 miles distance he couldn't imagine what being in two entirely different countries would do.)
"King's College," he swallowed heavily. "For business management."
That wasn't at all what he was expecting. He had been waiting for the name of some school he'd never heard of. But he had looked at King's, only briefly, before his attention turned elsewhere. "Isn't that…"
"In London," Sebastian chewed on his lip nervously. "I didn't apply anywhere here," he admitted. "I looked at Columbia and NYU, but I've lived in New York before and I'm sure I'll live there again. I just wanted somewhere new. And London seemed like it could be that place for me." He looked almost apologetic.
"I understand. I more than understand." Blaine laughed giddily, unable to keep his relief and excitement in any longer.
"Blaine?" Sebastian asked in confusion.
"I got in to Imperial for Biology," Blaine grinned again. "I don't really know how close they are to each other, but at least it's the same city."
"You're... What? When did that happen?"
"Friday before last. I was on my way to tell you but," he struggled to find the appropriate words.
"Things happened," Sebastian finished for him sadly. And suddenly the whole atmosphere of the room changed, any vague remnants of enthusiasm being sucked away.
"Yeah." Blaine wanted to kick himself for saying anything. That had been the closest thing to a normal interaction they had had in days and Blaine had to go and ruin it with his carelessness.
Sebastian smiled tightly in response.
xxx
"Attention, gentlemen," crowed Trent from the front of the room. They moment they caught sight of the envelope clutched in his hands everyone fell silent. With only a month left until Regionals there was only one thing that their captain could be holding. "As you are all aware, Regionals is rapidly approaching. But we finally know who our competition is going to be."
"Just open it already," Frey groaned. Not that he could be blamed for his anxiety. Although the countdown had originally been the butt of many jokes, seeing exactly how few rehearsals they had between now and then was quickly causing alarm for everybody.
"Before he does," Nick interrupted, "it's important to remember that, even if we don't have the exact songs picked out, we have been preparing for this for months. And, although this letter is a week later than it should be, I have full faith in our ability to pull this off."
The other schools probably didn't even notice that the announcement came later than normal. Why would they? They still had nearly an entire month to figure out what they were doing. Dalton Academy, on the other hand, started their two week long spring break in ten days. Whoever could stay in the area was, but at the end of the day the reality of the situation was that they were still teenagers and most of them had family who wanted to see them occasionally. Even Trent had only been able to commit to the first week.
The tension in the room became practically unbearable as Trent slid his finger under the envelope flap and took a deep breath before opening it. "We will be up against the Showstoppers from Huron High School and the New Directions from William McKinley High School." He looked irritated at the prospect. Blaine couldn't help but sympathize, aside from not wanting to compete against his old glee club, it was pretty ridiculous that the Warblers hadn't competed against Vocal Adrenaline since before his freshman year, but somehow this would be there third time against WMHS in the same number of years.
"And the theme," Trent pulled another face, "is throwback."
At this point in the meeting, had Blaine still been at McKinley, the room would have erupted in chatter as they all tried to express their half-formed thoughts but the Warblers all sat in contemplative silence.
"What, exactly, does 'throwback' mean?" Ethan asked eventually.
The council exchanged a look and then shrugged. "Nothing in the last 10 years?" suggested Ben.
"Maybe 15 to be safe. Older would be better, though."
"And what do we know about the Showstoppers? We must've seen footage of them, but nothing springs to mind." Ben looked guilty as though he was failing them as one of their leaders by forgetting who they were.
"Warbler Smythe, can you tell us anything?" Trent asked with only the barest hint of hesitating resentment in his voice.
"H'mm?" Sebastian looked up from where he had been staring, lost in thought, at his hands.
"Huron High Showstoppers?" prompted Ben. "Ring any bells?"
"The choir itself has been around for a while but they got a new director last year. Not overly impressive at the moment, but promising for the future. They're strong enough as a group, but they don't have anyone who stands out. They certainly won't be stopping any shows, unless another of their members passes out on the stage again," he shrugged one shoulder in a distracted manner. "We should be fine."
"How do you do that?" Blaine asked, unable to keep the surprise from his voice. Sebastian offered a half smirk in reply.
"And New Directions will probably do Journey or some other 80s band," Jeff piped up. "I remember Ku-hearing a lot of complaints about that."
"And probably a dance number," Nick hurried to cover for his best friend's slip up. "They still have one of their dancers. And the new guy."
"Britt and Ryder," Blaine corrected automatically. He knew Nick wasn't trying to be offensive and that he genuinely just couldn't remember their names but Blaine had long since gotten sick of the unnecessary enmity between the two choirs.
Nick smiled apologetically as Trent started talking again. "Since every rehearsal from here on out is crucial, the Council has decided to release you for the day while we deliberate on what we'll be singing. Suggestions are, as always, welcome but we'll need them by no later than 10 pm. We will also have a half-day practice on Saturday afternoon and an all day practice on Sunday." Even though everyone knew the extra practice were necessary, it didn't stop them from groaning as they gathered their things up.
"What do you think they'll end up picking?" Thomas asked casually as Blaine and Sebastian followed him and Vincent from the room and down the hall.
"If it's 'N SYNC or someone like that I might have to come down with a severe case of bronchitis," Vince joked. Trent's crush on Justin Timberlake was both legendary and embarrassing.
"They just barely make the 15 year cut off," Blaine chewed the inside of his lip in concern. "They weren't signed here until '98, but I think they toured Europe for a couple of years before?" He looked to his boyfriend for confirmation but apparently Sebastian's encyclopedic knowledge of basically anything Blaine ever had a question about didn't extend to 90s boy bands. "And the Warblers did a boy band last year," he continued, shooting a concerned glance at Sebastian and his lack of interest in the conversation. "Doing another this year, for the same competition no less, would be risky."
Vincent murmured his agreement before turning to his left and asking, "So what do you think, Bastian? I'm sure you already have the songs picked out and our half way through choreographing the first routine." He playfully jostled into the older boy, smiling up at him in barely concealed dorky admiration.
"I'm sure the Council has it under control. Whatever they pick will be great."
Blaine raised his eyebrows in disbelief and Tom looked like he'd just woken up in another dimension because Sebastian unapologetically considered the current council to be borderline incompetent and he certainly didn't think anything they did was great.
But Vince kept looking at Sebastian with that nauseating grin and nearly purred, "But not as great as what you would plan."
Blaine loved Vincent, he really did. He was a great kid who still looked at the world through rose tinted glasses and refused to see anything but the best in people. He had a wicked sense of humor and was unashamed of his love for rom-coms. Wes and David had even adopted him into their little family and affectionately referred to him as their grandson. But he couldn't help the jealous clench of his stomach as Sebastian practically beamed at the freshman. (And okay, it wasn't a beam, it probably only barely ranked as a smile. But Blaine had been trying for over a week to coax even half that out of him.)
The jealousy was gone barely seconds after it arrived and instead he was left feeling hot and ashamed of harboring such thoughts. Sebastian deserved whatever happiness he could get and it was beyond petty of Blaine to resent someone else for giving him that.
But it wasn't just Vince. The next day as they all made their way to the chapel for morning announcements, Blaine caught sight of Sebastian across the quad, surrounded by half his lacrosse team and heartily laughing. And the day after the he grinned like a loon when the captain of the track team sidled up to him as they were in line at breakfast and whispered something in his ear that Blaine couldn't hear.
As soon as it was just the two of them, however, Sebastian was nearly catatonic; if he wasn't staring at his textbooks with feigned intensity then he'd be staring out the window or at his bedspread. He didn't instigate conversation, although he did respond when addressed, even if it was mostly monosyllabic.
It took Blaine all of a day to come to concluded that, far from helping his boyfriend, he was somehow managing to make everything worse. When he suggested to Sebastian that he spend Thursday night in his own room, his gestured was dismissed and he selfishly let himself stay.
That night, if anything, was worse. Monosyllabic answers became barely audible grunts and the constant tossing and turning let Blaine know that he wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep.
By second period he was convinced that there was only one solution; he couldn't inflict his presence on his boyfriend for another night, and the thought of spending the night alone in Connors seemed unbearable. So he covertly snuck his phone from his pocket and texted his mother that he'd be home for the night after all.
For the first time since his return to Dalton he wished he could spend the entire weekend at home; but Trent would probably flay him alive if he missed even a minute of their intensive weekend practice. But they still had Friday's free and getting away for an evening could only be a good thing.
Sebastian was changing for practice when he stopped by to tell him about his plans. Overnight bag slung over his shoulder, Blaine stood awkwardly in the doorway and tried not to stare too obviously at his boyfriend's naked torso.
"Going somewhere, killer?" Sebastian questioned, taking in Blaine's coat and bag.
Blaine ducked his head. "Lima. Just until tomorrow. The Council would kill me if I missed rehearsal." He laughed and hoped it didn't sound too fake. The fingers on his left hand are itching to wrap around his wrist and it takes more effort than it should to keep them at his side.
"Oh." Sebastian's mouth fell open in confusion but he didn't look too distressed by the news otherwise.
He had every intention of explaining himself; telling Sebastian that it felt like right now Blaine wasn't what was good for him and that was okay. He didn't really understand, but he accepted it and he'd be there whenever Sebastian was ready for him to be. (He'd emphasis the whenever, because it didn't matter how long it took, even if it took months.) But the other Warbler looked like he was minutes away from falling apart—not in a grandiose emotional way, more like with any step he would just stop existing. And this was Blaine's problem, not their problem and certainly not Sebastian's. He was the one causing upset and he was the one who wasn't a good enough boyfriend to fix things. Sebastian didn't need this as a burden too.
"My mom wants me home to help get things organized for next weekend. Since the Anderson house is about to be invaded by Warblers. My guests, my responsibility." He rocked back on his heels and intentionally ensured he made eye contact with the taller man. It wasn't a lie, specifically. His mother had asked if he could come home and help get things ready but she had accepted it when he told her he had too much work and promised he'd take full responsibility of all the clean up.
"Toby is probably missing you too. You haven't seen him in awhile." Sebastian lips twisted up in a mockery of a smile.
Blaine felt a little sick because that convoluted imitation was all that Sebastian can give him and the probing way he was being stared at is making him want to turn and run. All in all he can never remember a time when he had been so uncomfortable to be in the same room as Sebastian Smythe, not even when he tried to apologize to them at the Lima Bean before last year's Regionals. He felt even sicker with the realization that he had no plans to swing by the barn even though it's been at least three weeks since he last went. And wow, he really was the worst person ever.
"Yeah." Blaine returned the smile. "I'm just useless all around, I guess." Sebastian's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Sebastian had always been a person that he hadn't felt the need to censor himself around and he wasn't used to having to keep things from him. "I should get going if I don't want to hit traffic." He darted forward and pecked a kiss at his boyfriend's lips and darted away again before Sebastian even had a chance to respond.
"So I'll see you tomorrow?" The hint of uncertainty barely came through, but it was almost enough to make Blaine think he had made all of this up. At least until his mind flashed to an image of Sebastian laughing with his teammates and he hardened his resolve.
"Tomorrow," he echoed.
Annnnd I still love and adore all of you wonderful people. :-D
Also eeek. I may or may not have just typed up the epilogue for SYH and I'm really not sure I'm ready for that. There's still probably somewhere between 4 and 6 chapters between now and then, but it just seems alarmingly soon and there are so many other things I had wanted to include but are probably going to be relegated to the Lost Moments files and I'm really not sure how this happened. Eek.
