A/N:

Rin's Age: 18

Sesshoumaru's age: 900 in human terms; 22 in demon terms

'Italics' -- Thoughts

'Bold Italics'-- Conscience

CAPITAL WORDS – Emphasis

Bold -- Flashback

Yes, I know it's been over half a year since I published the last chapter! I'm so very sorry people!!!!! I've been very busy!!! It took me 7 months to write this chapter during me free time. I hope you like it ne?

Disclaimers: not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine!


Chapter Twenty-Nine:

The wind caressed her as she stood away from him, her back facing him. The both of them stood away from each other silently for the past ten minutes and counting.

The moment Sesshoumaru had said that he wanted to talk to Rin about them, they had made their way to the flower field; the field which was specially set up by the Taiyoukai and the very field Rin adored.

"If there's nothing that you want to talk about, I'll take my leave now," Rin announced, breaking the silence first. She made her move to leave the flower field but realised it was futile when she learnt that she was against Sesshoumaru.

"You will not leave until this Sesshoumaru asks you to," the dog demon snarled at her in a perilous tone.

"I do not belong to you so you have NO right to order me around," she retorted at him with the very same tone used by Sesshoumaru. She struggled against him, trying to break free from his grasp. However no matter how much she tries to get away from him, the harder it gets as he tightened his grasp on her each time she struggled.

"LET ME GO SESSHOU-" she screamed, but got cut by Sesshoumaru's lips crashing down on hers. He forced her lips apart and thrust his tongue into her mouth ignoring her struggles.

'I have to get him away from me!!' her mind screamed as she increased her struggles. However no matter how much she attempts to get away from him, they were all futile. Finally, having no other choice, she bit down on his tongue which was exploring her mouth.

Sesshoumaru immediately withdrew from her mouth when he felt a sudden sting on his tongue. He bit back a groan and then glared at the woman before him.

"You will not touch me as you like Sesshoumaru!" she warned him, locking his gaze with hers.

The Taiyoukai gave a bitter chuckle and began, "I see. Akira, the one whom you don't love, was allowed to behave with you intimately. But I, Sesshoumaru, the one YOU love, am not allowed to touch you?"

'This will be the last part of my revenge…the one which breaks you fully,' Rin thought menacingly while flashing a leer. "I allowed him to get close to me only BECAUSE I want to get back at you Sesshoumaru. I wanted you to feel how I felt when you shunned me away. The emotional turmoil I felt within myself; something which I wanted YOU to feel. That was the PRIME reason why I chose to let him have me."

'Nani…? Hadn't this Sesshoumaru convinced her that he was wrong all the while?' he questioned himself as his already broken heart started to ache once again. True, he deserved all this from her, but hadn't he tried making it up to her in whatever means possible? She was only breaking him bit by bit with her 'getting back' at him. Didn't she know that?

After a few minutes tensed silence, Rin began to speak, "Besides, why should I let you have me when I don't have ANY sorts of feelings for you?"

That got his attention. 'What did she just say?' "Nani?" he questioned her in a strangled voice, hoping that he heard her wrong.

'Yes, that's it…I want to see you break…' she repeated to herself in her mind menacingly. "Are you deaf or are you PRETENDING to be deaf?" Rin questioned him back instead. She knew he heard her loud and clear. 'Well, no harm repeating, is there?' "I said there is no reason for me to let you behave intimately with me when I have no feelings for you."

That did it. Sesshoumaru felt his blood running cold at the declaration she had made. The nightmare he had been praying not to come true had finally come. 'She has no feelings for me…she hates me…' he chanted inwardly, in daze while feeling the heartache increase by countless times.

Sesshoumaru couldn't explain the various emotions coursing through his veins. He couldn't explain the sudden anguish engulfing him. But one thing he sure knew was, those emotions were all caused by Rin's words. He wanted to get rid of all these emotions he was feeling; the very emotions which made one weak, at least according to him.

I know one thing milord, she loves you. She's just doing this because she wants to get back at you, that's all.

I know that Rin still loves you. Whatever she did with me was to get back at you.

His mind reeled back to the times when Yukiko and Akira had spoken to him about Rin in consolation. Was it true that she still loved him? 'But the declaration she had made…feels so true' Sesshoumaru thought to himself. 'No she can't hate me… she still loves me, I know it,' he mentally stated possessively, not wanting to accept the fact that she had just made.

Finally after what seemed forever; he floated back to reality and brought his gaze back to Rin's with a fiery fire burning in his eyes. "You're lying. You still love me. This Sesshoumaru knows you still do," he said defiantly.

Rin broke out into fits of scornful laughter. "You know me better than me? This is so funny! My lord knows better about how I feel than myself!" she exclaimed in a feigned happiness. She continued laughing causing uneasiness to Sesshoumaru. Gradually, she regained her composure and then turned her back to him trying to catch her breath.

The both of them stood in silence. The only sounds you could hear were the birds chirping merrily and the trees rustling in the tranquil breeze; all oblivious to the heightening tension between the human woman and the inu Taiyoukai. What an irony wasn't it? The Mother Nature seemed to be mocking them for their situation with the calm sounds of nature itself!

"I don't know what Akira or Yukiko told you Sesshoumaru. But what I told you earlier is the truth. I don't love you anymore. And come to think about my feelings for you now, I believe that I HATE YOU," Rin confessed in an icy tone which pierced through Sesshoumaru's heart with a great impact, breaking the uncomfortable silence between them.

Yes, it was a known fact that she was getting her revenge on him and that this was all part of the revenge. But that didn't mean that when she said she hated him, she had meant it. It took her all her will to even UTTER the word 'hate' which was mainly directed to the dog demon she had had loved her whole life.

Truth to be told was it did hurt her to know that she was willing to go on with her plan. Moreover, she knew she was going to kill part of Sesshoumaru if she told him she hated him. But that didn't stop her from continuing her plans. The fire of revenge was still burning with fury within her; the only reason which encouraged her to go ahead.

'No, she's lying… she's lying… she's…just getting back at me,' the Taiyoukai comforted himself even though he had a feeling that Rin was telling the truth. No, he wouldn't accept the fact that his Rin hated him now.

"My love for you died the day you pushed me away milord," she continued, causing Sesshoumaru's wounded heart ache even more. The moment she uttered those words out, he felt his whole being die.

Sesshoumaru didn't want to hear anything from her anymore. He didn't want anymore heartache. He wanted to just get away from her for the time being and get rid of the ache of his heart.

"And I-" the young lady whose back still facing to him started again, but only to be stopped by him, "Enough."

"What?" she questioned as she turned to face him. What she was seeing was something she SHOULD be happy of, but somewhere deep inside her heart she knew she felt sorrow and guilty for breaking him.

He tried to be nonchalant, but his eyes seemed to give away his feelings. His eyes showed his pain, his regret, his forgiveness, his desperation, literally EVERYTHING that he was feeling at the moment.

"That's enough for today. You may go," he muttered, loud enough for her to hear. He turned around and took his flight immediately, away from his home; away from his…Rin.


I don't know what Akira or Yukiko told you Sesshoumaru. But what I told you earlier is the truth. I don't love you anymore.

My love for you died the day you pushed me away milord.

Her words echoed in his mind again and again like a broken cassette player. And even though her words were still haunting him, Sesshoumaru would not come to term with it. He still couldn't accept that she really didn't love him now. It was as though her words fell to deaf ears.

Sesshoumaru had been away from his household for the whole afternoon and evening. He had flown far away from his palace, keeping his distance from his ward even though he knew it doesn't make a difference now.

The sun had fully set and the moon was rising high, conquering the night. Sesshoumaru was sitting by an old magnolia tree, staring off into mid air. His mind seemed to be clouded with Rin words, still trying to process what she had said earlier in the day. Each time her words rang in his head, he comforted himself with Yukiko's and Akira's words.

This went on for a while until another unforgotten statement Rin had made earlier flooded his mind. And come to think about my feelings for you now, I believe that I HATE YOU. This time the confession she made played repetitively in his head, causing his body to go numb each time it repeated.

Yes, the Great Lord Sesshoumaru was finally broken; by a human moreover. He was just like a lifeless doll, unable to feel anything at the moment. True, he was known as Ice Prince some time ago for his incapability of feeling any emotion except some such as anger. But hey, anger is also an emotion, is it not? However now, one would even doubt if he could EVEN feel anger looking at how broken he is.

'Get a grip of yourself Sesshoumaru! You're the Lord of the West, a Taiyoukai! It's unsightly to see someone of your status moping over a woman!' he yelled at himself. Somehow it did help him to get him gather himself. He TRIED to push away the emptiness in his broken heart. He TRIED to shut out Rin's words in his head. He even TRIED to build a stronger and harder wall around his heart.

But none of all he tried was successful.

Her words STILL haunted his mind; the emptiness in his heart STILL increased; the wall he built around his heart STILL crumpled no matter how strong it is.

Just all of a sudden, all the emotions he had felt for the past few months and WAS supposed to feel when Rin declared her true feelings to him, surged through each and every blood vessel of his. Every one of those emotions, he could feel it now. Anger, betrayal, regret, pain, sorrow, disbelief; everything! They flowed in such a great impact that it made his body hot and painful.

The heat and pain was too much to bear. Instantly his golden hues turned blood red, his markings on his face darkened and glowed. He was on the verge of transforming. His face was getting longer to a snout and his hair flared upwards, a dark aura circling him.

The last sane thought he had before he completely transformed was Rin's confession of hating him now. And that thought only made all of his emotions to increase by ten folds.

His body felt as though thousands of thousands of knives stabbing through him. He felt his organs malfunctioning. His mind was in a state of haywire. Everything of him was in a chaos just because of the three words he dreaded hearing from his Rin.

He felt as if he needed to explode to free his emotions. His breath came out in short choppy bursts as his heart tightened in the sudden fear he felt. 'She hates me? She really hates me?' he questioned his mind with whatever sanity he had left.

Sesshoumaru roared as he pushed all the trees to the ground using his paw. He trampled on all the fallen trees as he roared in angst. 'She hates me! Rin hates me!!', he thought painfully. He couldn't believe that her rejection could cause so much pain to him. He couldn't believe that the girl who loved him, adored him few months back, hated him now. He couldn't believe that she was once near him, but now she was out of his reach. He couldn't believe ANYTHING of these was happening to him!

He huffed, trying to catch his breath. He slowly transformed back to his humanoid form still panting from exerting himself from using up most of his energy. It was really an unpleasant sight of the inu Taiyoukai. His long silvery white hair was dishevelled; his outfit was untidy and was perspiring profusely.

Sesshoumaru leaned against a tree which was miraculously not trampled upon by him and caught his breath. He was really exhausted after the fit of rage. Though it did help him feel better, the emotions were still burning inside of him fiercely.

'This would be the last time I will feel all these worthless emotions,' he decided. Yes, this would be the only time he would have such behaviour of himself. And that means he would shut himself away from the world, especially from Rin. He would be colder than he was before just to keep him away from emotions and heartbreak. And he would never fall in love with another though he doubtingly would. 'Never again,' he vowed.

Flashing a bitter smirk almost to himself, transformed into a white orb and flew back to his so-called heaven, 'Home.'


'Is this really what I want?' Rin asked herself as she watched Sesshoumaru disappear into the sky after hearing her 'confession'. Why wasn't she happy now that she knew The Great Lord Sesshoumaru was broken? Why did her instincts keep kicking her guts as though asking her to prepare for something worse that was coming? Hell, why the heck was she feeling something tugging her heart- probably guilt- when she wanted to break him?

So many questions were already flooding her mind, causing her to be paranoid. 'I know I've succeeded in breaking him. But…what if he decides to commit suicide? Or what if he comes down with some mental illness considering how much of emotional turmoil I've caused him?'

Stopping herself from questioning some more, she contemplated on what her questions had been. If only the situation weren't this complicated she would have laughed her lungs out for her paranoia. Instead, she merely pursed her lips together in a thin line and reasoned out in her mind, 'Hell will break loose if he tries to end his life because of me. Knowing Sesshoumaru-sama all my life, I don't think he would go crazy because of this; probably he might loose his sanity for a short while though.'

Relief washed over her, knowing that there wasn't any risk involved for his sudden departure. "Please be safe, Sesshoumaru-sama," she prayed before walking back into the palace.


'It's already night and Sesshoumaru is still not back home,' she thought while she stared at the starlit sky. She knitted her eyebrows together in silent contemplation on Sesshoumaru's absence. 'I wonder if he's alright…' "What if he's not?" she mumbled as worry took over her body. 'No he has to be alright,' she stated adamantly.

Rin reminisced of the events to her 'revenge' and realised that it would have hurt Sesshoumaru more than she had intended to. 'Did I go overboard?' she questioned herself.

'Yes you did Rin. I guess it's killing him inside with the way you treated him,' her conscience replied her question appearing from nowhere.

'I just wanted him to realise that he hurt me a lot…I didn't mean it to go to such an extent…'

'True, but it was too much. You should bear it in mind that, he was willing to lower himself to even expressing his feelings for you; both verbally and physically. He pleaded for you Rin, the great Sesshoumaru pleaded for you. This tells us how determined he was to get you back.'

Hell, was she that blinded by her revenge that she didn't notice all of these?! Actually, she DID notice, but she thought little of them. She was so driven to get back at him that she couldn't be bothered by his changes. No wonder Yukiko said he was a changed person. Was she the only one oblivious to his changes?

And now, thanks to her, he was moping over a lost love somewhere out there. Only the Kami-sama knows if he's safe or in danger. It'd be a relief if he was all right…but what if he's in danger? Rin started getting paranoid once again as she tried to get her brains to function. She took in deep breath trying to keep her breathing calm as she tried to question herself once again. 'What danger could pose him, considering he's strong?' In a way, the thought of the strength of her lord soothed her. But it didn't last for long when another questioned popped in her mind.

'True he's strong, but I gave him a lot of pressure, thus making him weak. And that only makes him vulnerable to other demons. What if, his enemies decided to attack him, when his defense is low?!'

At this, she immediately sprang up to her feet and ran to the direction of the exit of the castle, sprinting past the puzzled guards who were on duty. She had to find for Sesshoumaru or else he would be in danger! She sprinted all the way, moving far away from the palace and moved to the direction Sesshoumaru went to. She might not know where her lord headed to, but she believed that she will reach him if she really wants to.

'Sesshoumaru-sama please be safe,' she silently prayed as she sprinted as far as her legs would carry her. She ran through all those thickets, which cut her arms and legs. She ran through the dark even though she knew that she might be held as a hostage if any lower demon gets its vile hands on her. But she didn't care; she had to find Sesshoumaru-sama!

Finally, unable to breathe, she halted. "Sesshoumaru-sama! Where are you?!" she yelled at the top of her voice through her ragged breaths. She twirled around at the spot she was standing hoping to catch a glimpse of her lord.

But he was nowhere at sight.

Rin plopped to her knees and started to sob. 'It's my entire fault! Why can't I just accept him when he wanted to claim me?! Why, must I go to such an extent to hurt him?!'

She continued weeping, blaming herself for his present state until she heard rustling of bushes not far away from her. Rin stiffened for a moment before she turned towards the source of the noise. Slowly getting onto her feet, she hesitantly made small steps towards the bushes.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, is that you?" she questioned timidly, already knowing the answer to her question was negative. She stopped in her tracks, when she heard the rustling once again, this time louder.

'It could be Sesshoumaru-sama. I don't think there is danger within the western lands,' she tried convincing herself, which seemed to be failing really terribly. She knew she should run away from whatever it was behind that bush, but she just couldn't seem to move. Rin had her eyes fixate on that particular bush which she heard noise from, trying to determine if the rustling was just her imagination or happened for real.

The gentle whispers of the breeze became harsher by the minute as though warning her of the danger that yet to come. But the 'warnings' were unheeded. 'It's ok… Whatever happens, I can protect myself' she told herself though there were lingering doubts in her mind.

Rin stiffened, again, when she felt the hair on the back of her nape stood while a shiver coursed through her spine. And that was when she caught a shadow loom over her.

"Ho, look what we've here. A young beautiful ningen woman," a gruff voice snickered. Rin instantly swivelled around to face the owner of the voice.

'A youkai,' she mentally whispered. Not more than three yards away, stood a DISGUSTING demon that was tanned brown and had eerie green hued eyes. He was twice as big as her and held an intimidating gaze which sent chills down her stiffened spine. "What do you want from me youkai?!" she demanded trying to keep her fear away from her voice.

"A feisty one at that!" the blasted demon exclaimed as his gaze turned lustful. Rin froze as she watched him scrutinise her from top to bottom.

'Shit… I'm really a dead meat now.' She took one cautious step backwards which the youkai responded by a step forward. Rin took another step backwards, this time bigger than the first one. This only had the youkai move a step forward.

She could hear and feel the beat of her heart drumming in her ears and her body petrify. 'I have to get out of here!' she yelled in her mind. Her task on finding Sesshoumaru was placed at hold at the moment until she found a way to actually DEFEAT this demon which she was so very dubious about.

"Don't even think of running away from me milady cause there's no way of escaping me," the demon growled as he continued taking one slow step at a time to get close to his prey.

"You don't know who you are speaking to youkai. I'm the ward of the Lord Sesshoumaru, the Lord of the Western Land," she spoke confidently, still hiding her fear from her predator.

That did the trick… only for a while.

He faltered in his next step. He gasped in fear at the mention of the name of the Taiyoukai. He had heard a lot about him-how he killed his enemy without mercy. That thought only brought fear in his heart. He wouldn't want to mess things up with someone of such great superiority, now would he?

The youkai made a sharp turn backward and started taking steady steps away from Rin. However he stopped in his tracks when something he had heard about the Demon Lord came into his mind. The Lord of The Western Land hated humans. 'Then how would he take in a human ward?' he questioned himself when the thought of the girl had been lying to him dawned to him. Or so he thought. 'That slut!'

Rin drew out the breath she had been holding for a very long time the moment she saw the youkai retreat. 'Thank Kami-sama,' she thankfully sighed inwardly. She was about to plaster a successful smile on her lips when she caught the demon stop walking. This only caused her brown orbs to widen slightly. 'Please leave,' she mentally begged him. However, much to her dismay, he swirled around and growled at her.

"You bitch! How dare you lie to me?!" he bellowed. He marched forward to her while continuing his growl.

Rin was aware of him moving towards her and instantly moved backwards to keep a safe distance away from him which was failing miserably. "Why would I lie to you?" her voice came out in a squeak instead of the confident loud voice she had used earlier.

"The Great Sesshoumaru hates humans! What makes you think that he will take YOU as his ward?!" he growled as his steps became harsher and faster.

'Shit I'm in deep trouble.' "I'm not lying! I'm telling the truth!" she defended herself as she took more unsteady steps backwards. Unfortunately, it seemed fate wasn't by her side this time. She tripped over her own footing as she struggled to get away from the blasted demon.

The demon snickered at her and the pounced on her. "Now you can't escape from me anymore. And I'm going to PUNISH you for lying to me!" he whispered harshly in her ear.

Rin struggled in his grasp trying to break free from him. Rin gulped audibly at hearing his words. She widened her eyes when she saw the demon's head descending on hers.

If only she didn't panic earlier, she could have defeated him with the defences she learnt from Inuyasha back at his village. 'So much for learning!!'

Having no other choice she did what she usually do when she got into trouble. "Sesshoumaru-sama!!!" she screamed with all her might for her one and only saviour. The only respond she got was a hard tight slap from the demon above her which only caused her eyesight to turn black.


Damn.

Why were her words still hurting him even after he had vowed to shut them out? 'Curse her for doing this to this Sesshoumaru. I hope she dies!' he swore. However somewhere deep inside his, once again, cold heart knew that that would be the last thing he wanted. 'And why the hell is the palace so far away?' he questioned himself impatiently.

After the whole uneventful episode earlier on, he felt fatigue take over his body. After all, the trampling and transforming drained most of his energy out of his body. Furthermore he hadn't had a good night rest for the past few days because of…haunting images of Rin and Akira in his mind. However now, all he wanted to do right at the moment was to take a short nap to restore his energy back.

Just as he was reaching ten kilometres away from his palace, a gentle breeze made its way to his direction, opposing him. He breathed in the cool air when he suddenly got alarmed of a certain scent he had taken a whiff of. 'Rin and a youkai?' What was she doing outside the palace ground…with a demon at that? 'She probably has a new lover and wants to get away from me it seems. What she does is of no concern of mine,' he stated to himself firmly even though certain emotions started stirring within himself- hurt and anger.

He gritted his fangs in frustration at the emotions he was feeling. Didn't he make a vow that he would lock his heart within himself and never ever feel any sorts of emotions again? Then why the hell is he feeling these PETTY emotions again?! 'It can never be stopped where Rin is concerned,' he finally concluded.

But even so, he didn't take another move to trail his human ward down. All he did was to move forward and get back to his palace. That was until he heard someone whom he knew of screaming his name.

'Rin!' he realised in an instant and made a sharp u-turn, speeding to the source of the danger. "Please be safe Rin," he subconsciously whispered to himself, worry already clouding his troubled mind.

The moment he was at within range, he could instantly smelt Rin's fear. 'He, who made my Rin fear shall die by this Sesshoumaru!' was the last thing he thought before his blood pooled in his eyes.

What greeted him wasn't what he wanted to see. Just right in front of him, was a low life youkai kissing his loveable Rin, who was beneath him. Yes. He will pay!

Immediately he plunged forward with his hand up in the air and even before the youkai could register what was going on, he thrust his hand into him injecting poison into the demon's body. The demon howled in agony as Sesshoumaru watched the life in him seep out in a slow death. He retracted his hand from within the demon's body which only caused him to howl one last time before he collapsed.

"Anyone who touch what is mine will end in a fate like yours," he grated to the dead demon. He turned his attention to the love of his life before his eyes regained its golden honey colour. He crouched and gingerly lifted her up, after which he inspected her for any injuries. From what he had gathered she wasn't seriously injured except for the bruise on her right cheek.

'Why do I save her time and again, even after I vow to keep my distance away from her?' he questioned himself with great frustration. 'Why is it this Sesshoumaru still cares for her even after the way she treated me?! Why can't I just ignore her?!' his mind swirled with unanswered questions.

He turned to face the unconscious woman on his arm and his eyes softened with realisation. "Because I love her," he murmured to himself the answer to all of his questions. 'And that is why I want to keep myself away from her to prevent anymore heart ache…'


That's all folks for now. I'll very much try to get this story updated as soon as possible!!! I promise ok?!

And here's time to thank my reviewers!!

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Thanks so very much for reviewing readers! I really appreciate it. I'll try to put in more effort to update the next chapter ok?

Oh before I leave, I have a note for katana sohma-demon girl:

Thanks for following my story! I really appreciate it a lot! By the way, I tried to e-mail you, but I don't know the e mail cannot be sent to you. So sorry, for not being able to get my reply! Cries Anyways, you claimed you need my help. In what way can I help you? Smiles Just sent me a message if you need any help ne? I'm more than willing to be of service! Hees

Ok, that's about it for now! Oh remember to read and review this chapter ne? Love you people out there! Muacks!