God, I guess it was about time I updated. Yes, I am still alive.

Two important things: Today, 1st July, is my very own self-proclaimed "National Holiday". Yesiree. Yayz for me. What is my self-proclaimed national holiday? Dan Aykroyd Day. Woot. :D I came up with it about four years ago. So far it hasn't been publicly accepted… O.o But it comes from a weird link of coincidences. Today, 1st July, is Dan Aykroyd's birthday (I dunno how old he is, incidentally…). Today, 1st July, is also Canada Day. Dan Aykroyd is Canadian.

Hence… Dan Akyroyd Day. There we are. Celebrate and whatnot. :D

Secondly: As promised, information on Author Idol Season Two, being held over at TitansGonet. People, please join in! It is so much fun, honestly! It's the same rules this time around; submit a piece on any topic of your choice (fanfiction, original, poetry, whatever) between 300-500 words by July 22nd. You do need a TGN account, though. I have put up a link on my profile taking you directly to the information page itself so you can read more, but this just to say that Season Two is underway! Yay! Ooh, been out of the game too long…

Oh, thankyous go out to: Quinn and His Quill (nyes, quiet, you hypocrite… Tch, killing your main character… Again.); LoopyLouise123 (ah, alternate reality time-lines… they're tough since they're not linear, so yeah, Slade is dead, but no, he's not really dead, because there's another one, and argh!); Aeris-Raven (okay, well… since you're so pumped, I hope you like the rest!); KGDiva (heh, well, crazy Batman? Always a humour point. And yeah, there's still another Slade to contend with…); YamiTai (yeah, but Crazy!Slade is now a lot more dead! than SomehowSane!Slade… There is mucho Robin angst to come, BTW…); Guardian of Azarath (uh, well… the comics are good! That's all I will say… Oh, and… hn… I was going to say something else…. O.o); Narroch ('tis my Narroch! July, dude! Kyah! Uh, well, like I said, I debated whether or not to kill him, and… I did. I almost didn't. And were there really mistakes? See, you shouldn't beta your own stuff…); Me (well, he isn't immortal, so he died. Mwa ha ha. And yes, now there are two f you. Lovely…); CrazyInsomniac (uh, well, I hope you got your head back, because that would just be tragic. Tragic… And yes, Batman is crazy. And no, not just because he wears a bat costume.); Someone (wow, you know someone who actually kicked someone there? Ouch. I bet he wasn't laughing… And, uh, I wouldn't know if spandex is comfortable or not…); Simmie (no, Batman is still crazy. And I'm glad you support Robin's choice, since… well, now he's all emo and such like…); Still-Sketchin' (ah, yes, because I knew I'd seen your name before!I was pretty much swinging on the whole Haunted thing, so… yeah. I can totally see it); TheFallenAngel67 (um, 'dues... I guess you can address it to everyone, really. I do. :D Are Lex and Bruce gay? In this alternate future? With the hot man smex and what-not?... No.); Chanceless (up above, just for you: Info on Author Idol! You'd better get writing, homie! Um, the last chapter was named after Final Destination, but… I haven't ever watched them. Oh, and…. You want Terra's hair? You can't have it! Then she'd be bald!); and new reviewer LadyTaurus4eva (I wanted to reply to you properly but you didn't log in, so… Um, the answers to all your very precise questions will be answered, like RobinxRaven/Starfire and RoyxTerra… ooh, and the baby. Yes, Raven… agh, I can't say, but sharp questions, dude. Sharp. :D).

Okay, I'm… talking a bunch of crap here, really…

Catharsis

Arella knew they were back; they had been back for a while now, each battered and bloodied senator dragging themselves away to their respective quarters to recuperate.

Loathe as she was to admit it, she could see the clear sense in Marcus' orders that she remain behind; she was powerless, and, quite frankly, wouldn't have stood a chance against Seth Elliott. She'd have been killed where she stood, and since Seth wasn't a big fan of hers – and vice versa – she knew with a cold chill that he would not have hesitated even for a split-second to do so.

She had changed out of her battle garments and back into her white robes; and drifted along the corridor now towards the Senate Offices, where she knew Marcus must be.

She could only assume that Seth had been defeated, due to their return; but that told her nothing of the nature of the victory.

Nor nothing of her daughter and her welfare.

"Marcus?" She knocked on the door; and then, when she received no answer, knocked and called again, louder. "Marcus, are you in there?"

Still no answer; her pulse pounding, Arella pushed down the door handle, finding it to be unlocked. She slipped into the room, taking down her large white hood as she looked around for him.

"Marcus, are you—?"

She cut herself off abruptly with a sharp little gasp as she found him floating in a lotus position three feet above the surface of his desk, his eyes closed, his lips silently forming fluent Azarathian; but what had made her back up so hastily was the fact that he had a dozen blades sticking out of his torso at every possible angle.

She felt a wave of nausea wash over her as she watched him in stunned silence. It was obviously something he was able to handle, due to the fact that he was able to sustain his level of meditation, but even so…

"Seth did this to you?" She asked finally, raising her gentle voice.

Marcus opened one indigo eye.

"Ah, Arella." He looked down. "Yes, I suppose you could say that."

Still suspended in midair, he uncurled his sitting position and stood on thin air, beginning to descend as though walking down a flight of invisible steps towards her; as he did so, the blades all magically slipped out of his body, fading to pale, shimmering pearly dust which scattered in a rough halo right around them both as he came to a stop before her, both feet on the floor.

"I trust this evening finds you well?" He continued as she watched the slits left in his robes repair themselves before her very eyes.

"As well as can be expected," she replied, finally looking up at him. Then she gave him a faint little smile and rested her hands on his shoulders. "I am glad you are… alright."

"It was very close, I will admit that," Marcus replied airily, sounding unconcerned.

"But he is dead?"

"Oh, yes. I think we can most certainly and gratuitously assume that."

"Did… did you…?" She asked tentatively. "Or… was it Robin, or…?"

Marcus raised his eyebrows.

"It was your daughter, Arella, and I think you know that perfectly well."

"I hoped… that I was wrong."

"Ah, but you know she is the only one who had the power to defeat him." Marcus gazed fixedly at her. "Seth thought himself a god. Raven is the daughter of a being who, in a perverse and inverted manner, technically is a god. A terrible one, yes, with unholy power, but god-like in that. She was always the one. The only one, Arella."

"And speaking of him," Arella hissed, "what will… this… do to the influence he has over her, or the… prophecy, or—?"

"I do not pretend to know," Marcus interrupted calmly. "There is blood on her hands, but… if not for her, then I think I would be correct in saying that we would all be dead, and the earth…"

He gave a little shiver.

"No, he is gone. Justice is done."

"But you wanted revenge," Arella said quietly. "For Jonathon. For what he did to Jonathon."

Marcus studied the marble floor for a moment or two.

"I will not deny my sin against the ways of Azar," he said finally. "But know that I went to war for the greater good, Arella. I have not played this ruthless game simply for revenge."

"No, but an apt by-product, hm?"

"Yes, I suppose it was," Marcus said dully. He looked at her for a long while. "You think me tainted."

She blinked once or twice, unable to answer; he smiled, the twitch of his lips almost condescending.

"So did Jonathon. Perhaps you are both right. But I am not Seth, nor will I ever be him. All I ask is that you believe that."

"I do," Arella replied softly.

He nodded.

"Well, I thank you for that." He went to the window. "But this isn't over. In many ways, it has only just begun. You do understand that, don't you?"

"Yes. Well." She paused. "The child."

"Yes." Marcus sighed. "I have set the boy upon the right path, but there are ties, so many ties… I cannot tell him everything, for I might nullify the action he takes. It is through a sheer lucky loophole that he is able to destroy it at all. I cannot take the chance of undoing that loop any more. There is much I did not tell him, and I sorely wish that I could have."

"Then what shall we do?" Arella pressed.

The Head Senator gave a little shrug of his slender shoulders.

"There is nothing we can do. As I said, it is sheer luck that we have a Destroyer in Robin. No living being outside of that title may assist him in the slaying."

"He may well kill her," Arella snapped.

"That is a possibility," Marcus agreed. "But if he does not try…"

Arella gave a heavy, aching sigh.

"I wanted so much for Raven to just… be a normal girl, with none of… this," she whispered. "Why shouldn't she have the life she deserves? The life that every other teenaged girl leads."

"It is not so much a question of why 'shouldn't' she, but rather why 'can't' she," Marcus answered. "And I think you know the answer to that."

"Yes," Arella said bitterly. "Yes, I do. I have always known. And so has she."

"Then there is no question at all." Marcus collapsed into the chair at his desk. "Arella, I thank you for your concern, but I am exhausted and not fully healed yet. I beg that you leave me be for now. We will continue this discussion officially tomorrow, as Head Senator and Vice-Head Senator."

She nodded.

"I understand."

She gave him a tiny kiss on the cheek and slipped from the office again, closing the door quietly behind her.

Hardly the fiery kiss of Jonathon; it was one of compassion, not need and lust.

But then again, maybe that was really rather ironic.


"You really think it's all over?"

Terra looked up Roy – he truly was "Roy" again, having now peeled away his mask and ditched his bow and arrows – and cocked her head; her thick wave of blonde hair fell away from her right eye.

"What do you mean?"

"You know…" Roy sighed and folded his arms. "Do you really think that's it? That it's all over? That… all the horrors of these last fifteen years have just melted away? Blown away, I should say… by that one bullet?"

"Well… no," Terra replied carefully. "And yes."

"How can it be both?"

"Because…"

Terra turned away from him and crouched down, flicking bits of broken wood into her "fireplace". They were both in the back room of the church; alone. Bruce and Lex had departed after dropping them off there – probably back to Wayne Manor; Lex stayed there sometimes in the BatCave with Bruce, if Bruce wasn't being too murderous. Raven was still out for the count and Robin was in a… strange mood, to say the least. They had left him prowling around the church itself, Raven on the floor of the altar wrapped in blankets. Robin had said that he wanted her out there with him, so that he could keep an eye on her.

As though he didn't think Terra and Roy were capable of keeping an eye on her.

Robin was soaked through but wouldn't change his clothes, even though he was shivering and certainly despite the fact that Terra had informed him that leather was murder if it dried on you.

Well, he would be the one struggling to get out of it in a few hours time.

So Terra and Roy – seeing that he wanted to be alone – had complied with his unspoken wishes and let him be for the time being.

The kid had just killed someone. And Slade might have been their enemy, but even so…

Killing was killing.

And Terra knew how it felt.

So they were alone, she and Roy.

Just as they had been so many dozens of times before.

"Because," Terra started again, "I mean… of course things are going to change, Roy. Slade's gone. Gotham is free from him, at least."

"And the likes of Chester Lambini?"

"Well, that's what I meant when I said no," Terra agreed. She stood again and faced him. "Things will change, Roy, and hopefully they'll be for the best. But they're not gonna switch from bad to good overnight. You know that, and I know that…"

"Yeah. I mean, Slade… he destroyed so much, killed so many… it could take years for Gotham to flourish again…"

Terra nodded grimly.

"Those gangs, those drug-pushers, those whore-houses and street thieves… they gotta go, Roy. Before anything happens, they have to go."

Roy grinned.

"That's why we're here, honey," he beamed, taking her wrists. "We might not be Batman's Titans anymore, but… well, Slade was one thing. Lambini and his motley crew ain't got a chance against us. I mean, tonight, T… tonight, you an' me… that was serious teamwork."

Terra looked up at him, her blue eye(s) wide.

"You think… you and me, we're gonna clean up this whole city?"

Roy shrugged.

"Sure, why not? Look at Bruce and Dick all those years ago, as Batman and Robin; before even the Teen Titans. You know, a powerless guy and an eight year old kid? If they can clean up a whole city, then I think we can do the same, huh?"

Terra smiled weakly.

Roy released her wrists and put his hand up as though reading a newspaper headline.

"I can see it now… We'll get the economy the right way up again, kick the likes of Lambini up the ass… it'll be good…"

"Yeah, right… All cower before the wrath of the Masked Bartender!" Terra jibed mockingly.

Roy shrugged.

"It might catch on."

"I doubt it."

"T, I'm serious! I mean, about… sorting Gotham out."

"I know," Terra answered calmly. "I know. And we will. You and me, and…"

"Bruce?" Roy snorted. "Puleeeze…"

"Maybe not," Terra agreed sheepishly. "I can't see Lex being terribly interested either…"

"Just you and me, then?"

Terra sighed deeply.

"Guess so…" She put her head in her hands. "If only—"

"Don't start, Terra," Roy interrupted coldly. "About the Teen Titans, and our Titans… I just don't wanna hear it, okay? Not tonight…"

"Roy…"

"No!" Roy walked past her, suddenly angry. "Terra… I miss them, okay? I really miss them, especially Dick and Garth… But they're gone, and tonight was our victory. We won, we avenged their deaths… Slade is gone."

Terra watched him kick at the fire – struggling to get started – tears stinging her eyes.

"Roy, we didn't do anything!" She snapped at him. "Our victory? What are you talking about? We would have died tonight if not for those Azarathian senators, and Slade? Roy, that wasn't our victory! That was Robin's! He killed Slade! Not you, not me; Robin."

"Oh, yeah, and he feels just dandy about it, doesn't he?" Roy griped in reply. "Terra, tonight was a victory for us too; Robin had no real reason to kill our Slade, did he?"

"He raped him and used him," Terra countered.

"Not that Slade," Roy pointed out. "Robin's not from this time – our "Robin" is dead, T. The Dick of this time is dead as a doornail, killed by the Slade that the Robin of a time fifteen years prior to this one just killed… what, about an hour ago? It's all very confusing, I know, but the point I'm making is that… the Slade that Robin just killed isn't the same one that raped him."

"I hardly think such trivial details matter to Robin," Terra said coldly. "Slade is Slade."

"Yes… and Slade is dead." Roy turned back to the blonde geomancer. "No matter who killed him… you know, if he killed himself… he's gone. It doesn't matter how or by whose hand he died. The point is that he's gone… and Gotham is free. America is free."

Terra was silent, not having an answer for that.

"Roy…" she said finally. "Tonight, I was… so confused by everything… that guy, the one with black hair…"

Roy frowned.

"Yeah… uh, Seth, I think they were calling him…"

"Mm." Terra nodded. "Yeah, him… He knew. He was…"

"The Master of Time," Roy finished wearily. "I know…"

"And the seer," Terra added weakly. "This whole time… all those years… and I was staring that guy in the face the whole time…"

Roy shook his head.

"I think there's lot we don't understand, Terra," he said finally. "A lot that Robin hasn't told us."

Terra nodded.

"He will, though. He needs to," she agreed. "But… not now. Give him a little while to himself. He needs to go home and fix up his own time, but… he should stay here, at least overnight. To rest, you know?"

Roy nodded too.

"Yeah, I'll fix the clock when he goes to sleep. He needs to sleep, and he's not going back to his own time before he does."

Terra sighed and sat down next to the fire, watching the flame creatures dancing in it.

"You okay?"

She looked up at Roy and forced a smile.

"Sure. Why?"

"You seem…" Roy trailed off and sank down next to her. "…I dunno… Distant."

"There's a lot on my mind at the moment," she agreed softly. "It's all so confusing…"

"I gather you're not too thrilled about seeing her again, huh?"

"Hmm?" Terra blinked at him, her eyes wide.

"Don't act innocent with me, Terra," Roy went on sharply. "You know what I mean. Raven."

"Oh…" Terra looked intently at the flames again. "Well… not really. She was never my favourite person in the whole wide world… What I would like to know is how she even got here. Robin distinctly told me she was dead; she got electrocuted."

"That Seth guy, I'm guessing," Roy put in. "He certainly seemed all over her, didn't he? I heard him calling her his "bride"…"

Terra looked up at him.

"Yeah, she's… pregnant…" She shook her blonde head a little. "And Robin… the other night, when I first found him… he swore blind it was his child she carried. It was definitely him that impregnated her. But now… it's Seth's? How does that work?"

"Look, like I said," Roy said, "there's a lot we need explained to us."

"You reckon she slept with him?"

Roy shot her a Nicholson eyebrow.

"I know you're trying to make her out to be a cheap whore, T, but I ain't buyin' it," he replied dryly. "No, I don't think she slept with him. Robin was spoutin' off about Seth using him to impregnate her… Look, I don't get it either, but I'm certain she didn't sleep with that Seth guy."

Terra snorted irritably.

"Always defending the fairer sex, huh, Roy?" She mused bitterly.

Roy grinned.

"You know it; and FYI, that extends to you too, Rocky."

"Gosh, aren't I fortunate…? And don't call me "Rocky". My name is Terra."

"I know… believe me, I know…"

Terra gave a shaky little shrug and curled up tighter in front of the fire. Sensing that something was wrong – something else, something more – Roy moved closer to her and slipped his arm across her shoulders.

"Get the hell off, you sleaze," Terra muttered at him. Roy smiled wanly and did no such thing.

"Come on, Terra," he pressed softly, giving her a squeeze. "We're buds, right? What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Roy asked skeptically. "Or… nothing I would understand?"

"Roy, you don't care…"

Roy was hurt.

"'Course I care, honey," he went on soothingly, not letting the hurt sound in his voice. "What makes you think – even for one second – that I don't?"

"Roy, it's…" Terra sighed and shrugged him off. "It's not that… I just… you just don't understand…"

She got up and walked restlessly around the fire.

"Did you keep this many secrets from Beast Boy?" Roy barbed, becoming irritated. "All those years back, T?"

Terra folded her arms, her back to Roy.

Silence.

"Yes."

She looked up at the ceiling of the back room; cracked stone choked by moss and strangled by ivy – and remembered a time, over fifteen years ago, when she and Beast Boy had sat on the rocks at the shore of the little island on which Titans Tower proudly stood, skimming rocks and pulling grotesque faces at each other.

She had gotten a little too excited, she remembered, and had allowed her powers to spark out of control; allowing Beast Boy to make the educated guess (and quite possibly the most educated one he had ever made) that she did not actually have complete control over them in the first place.

She remembered so clearly what he had said to her after she made him promise never to tell anyone.

"…But really, it's no big deal. If my friends knew, they'd still like you…"

And she had turned away from him then too, and uttered the same words…

"…You just don't understand…"

She bowed her head, her shoulders shaking slightly as she felt warm tears slip down her face. She hugged herself tightly, biting her lip.

The song that Roy always mockingly sang when referring to Bruce if he was in one of his… "odd" moods came into her head; Total Eclipse of the Heart. A Bonnie Tyler song – and the line:

"…Every now and then I fall apart…"

Roy was fond of singing that line as they made their back through the ruins of Wayne Manor – usually whenever Bruce had thrown a blue fit and practically chased them out of his BatCave.

It always irked her because sometimes she felt that about herself. Usually she was calm and collected; but sometimes, when she was alone, she would just burst into tears and cry and cry and cry…

For everything. Everything she had done; everything she had seen

"Hey, hey…"

Roy was behind her, his voice soft and lulling in her ear; he slipped his arms around her shoulders, rocking her gently.

"It's okay, it's all okay…"

She sobbed a few moments longer; then tore herself away from him, her large eyes blazing amber.

"It's not okay!" She shouted at him. "It's never going to be okay! We might have won, Roy… but things will never go back to the way they were. Slade's death isn't going to revive the Titans. It isn't going to revive Dick or Garth or Barbara… It's not gonna revive BB!"

"But you always knew that," Roy reasoned calmly. "We were never fighting to get them back. We were fighting to avenge them. Come on, T; what is it? What's really up?"

She shrugged him away defiantly, tossing her wave of blonde hair back.

And then, suddenly, Roy understood.

"Oh, jeez, Terra…" His voice was soft and sad. "She's pregnant… I forgot, you…"

"It's okay." She looked at the floor, gritting her teeth. "It's not your fault."

It was true, she hadn't exactly wanted the baby in the first place. It was unplanned and she didn't love Nightwing in that way and was therefore distressed to discover herself pregnant with his child. But even that would have been okay…

…if he hadn't gone and gotten shot to pieces. They hadn't loved each other; but together they could have brought up the child all the same, teaching it by their way of goodness and justice.

But of course things never went to plan. First Nightwing had died; his child not long after, both murdered by Slade.

No, she had never loved Nightwing sexually. Her heart had always been for Beast Boy – and when he had died all those years ago, just fifteen years old, she had never wanted anyone else. Her grief for the green shape-shifter had caused her to close herself off to other people; it was true that Terra had never been the same happy-go-lucky, exuberant individual she had been during her time as a "Titan"; the clumsy girl who somehow managed to look graceful. Who ate Starfire's "freshly squeezed glorg" without any repercussions; who came up with more quips during a battle than Robin did; who always, one way or another, managed to win the right to the last slice of pizza no matter which method of choosing was used.

Even when Cyborg tried to tip the table towards himself.

The girl who had laughed at Beast Boy's feeble humour.

She had never been that same girl again.

That girl had died with Beast Boy on that day over fifteen years ago. Her careless and happy demeanour walked out on her and slammed the door; and guilt and despair slipped in through the crack beneath it and settled in her instead. There was not a day that went past where she didn't sit alone in the dark and ask herself why she had ever thrown their friendship back in their faces; why she had helped Slade to take and destroy the city, and the cities that came after.

Why she had walked away from the only person who had ever truly loved her.

Nightwing hadn't loved her. He had tolerated her amiably; he had pitied her for her mistakes; he had respected her for her strength and her desire to repent for her sins; he had liked her as a friend.

But he hadn't loved her.

Roy…?

He had kissed her. He had defended the action as being "in case they hadn't survived".

So what was he trying to tell her? That he loved her?

"I know it must be hard for you," Roy was saying quietly. "To see her and remember…"

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I said it was okay." She sighed. "I know… that it's hard for you too…"

"Me? What's hard for me?" Roy sounded genuinely surprised.

"Everything… All of our friends' deaths, and Bruce the way he is… me not trusting you enough to tell you about…"

Roy waved his hand dismissively.

"Don't sweat about that. I know it was… difficult for you. You were afraid and… it's okay. Really. I don't blame you for it."

"You should."

"But I don't." Roy turned her to face him, his grip on her shoulders tightening when she resisted. "I know you think I don't understand, and okay, you're right; I don't understand everything. I didn't know you as a teenager, not the way Dick did. You were part of his team. So yeah, of course I can't expect to understand everything. But I understand more than you think, Terra. I know all the terrible things you have done and I understand how dreadful they must make you feel when you remember them. Forgive me for this lacking tact, Terra, but you killed people. Good, strong, courageous people who were trying to save the world; you murdered the Justice League and countless others. You knew the Titans were going to die all those years ago and yet you did nothing to stop it. Of course I don't know exactly how that makes you feel, Terra, but I can imagine; and let me tell you, it doesn't feel too good. So I don't blame you for anything, T; I think you've been blamed for enough already."

He felt her stiffen in his grip and heaved a sigh.

"Well, you can tell me get out after that, Terra," he said quietly. "Maybe I said things there that I shouldn't have. But that's how I feel. No matter what you've done, you're a good person. You're strong and brave and had the strength to conquer yourself. You saved yourself, Terra, when no-one else could have. It would have been so much easier for you to keep running further and further down the path of evil Slade had put you on, but you didn't; you turned back and fought your way back through the thorns that had grown behind you to block your path. I respect you for that, Terra. You might not respect yourself, but I do. I hope you can understand that..."

There was a period of brittle silence that hung between them for a few seconds; and then—

Terra threw her arms around Roy's shoulders and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder.

"I love you, Roy," she whispered, tearing up.

He hugged her back.

"I know. I love me too…"

She looked up at him, frowning.

"But that doesn't mean I want to sleep with you, so don't go getting any ideas…"

Roy grinned.

"Ah, the night is still young, my beautiful earth-mover…"

"I mean it!"

"So it's platonic, then?"

"Right." She nodded. "Totally platonic."

His face fell.

"Damn…"


Poor Roy, nice try.

Next: Mucho Robin/Raven talkiness!

And stuff.

Happy Dan Aykroyd Day!

RR xXx