The "Harry Potter" characters belong to JK Rowling, her associates and affiliates. CPT Holdings Inc. and Sony Pictures Home Entertainment own "Bewitched" and "Tabitha". For entertainment purposes only. There. I have spoken.
It was autumn now and the weather grew increasingly colder. All students, both muggle and wizard, were back in school. Tabitha's show was growing in popularity. Molly Weasley told her she never missed a broadcast and that most of her friends listened, also. Tabitha was flattered, but more importantly, she hoped she was making some sort of difference.
Her interview with Scrimgeour had made her a little controversial. Some listeners even branded her as Pro-Dark Arts because she had challenged the head of the Ministry of Magic during wartime. The controversy added to her fame, and she was being approached for interviews by popular witch magazines. Tabitha turned them down politely, however.
"Journalists should report the news, not be the news," she would explain.
But that was only half of her reason. She was afraid to expose her children to publicity. Her personal life wasn't a secret--she had announced her maternity leave--but there was no need to have the girls' pictures published, or to make too big a deal about her personal life which might draw the attention of extremists on either side. Tabitha was especially worried in the current climate that Sarah, who at age two showed no evidence of magical activity, could be an especial target of the Death Eaters. Tabitha had put her under powerful charms and enchantments, but she was reluctant to take too many chances with her little muggle daughter despite it all.
She was also distressed to find herself on the receiving end of the occasional death threat. Not that there were so many, and it was next to impossible to even substantiate them, but they made her cautious. Snape was deeply disturbed by the threats on Tabitha's life--he took them much more seriously than she did--and he went back to escorting her through the Floo network, and he also insisted on teaching her more Defense.
Because he never felt at ease at Grimmauld Place, he brought her to Hogwarts for lessons. Dumbledore placed the castle under more powerful defensive spells than ever this term and Aurors were stationed at the perimeter--that was Tonks' assignment these days and sometimes Tabitha would accompany her to Hogwarts where she would meet up with Severus. But this was an uncomfortable arrangement--there was a definite chilly feeling between Snape and Tonks lately and even though neither one them told Tabitha the reason for it, she felt caught in the middle.
Tabitha never saw Harry or the Weasley kids or any of the other students while she was there. Hogwarts was massive and it was easy enough for Snape to find them a private place to practice. She did see Aunt Minerva sometimes, but the older woman was looking pinched and preoccupied these days and in no mood for long-winded conversation. A quick hug and a kiss on the cheek was the most contact Tabitha had with her outside of Order meetings.
Snape was now the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and Tabitha was pleased for him. She had heard through the grapevine how much he had wanted the position, but he never discussed it with her. In fact, he never really discussed it with anybody, and when Tabitha thought about it she became uneasy. She understood that there were things Severus was not at liberty to talk about with her, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that Tonks had a point--how much did she really know about Severus Snape?
oOoOoOo
Tabitha was at work one night when a half hour before she was supposed to sign off, she looked up to see her boss waving frantically at her through the window. She put on some music and beckoned him in.
"The two o'clock called out," he informed her.
"Can't you get a replacement?" She asked.
"We Floo'ed everybody. Nobody could come in. You'll have to stay."
"Until six in the morning? But I'm already exhausted."
"I'm sorry, we don't have anybody else."
"My ride is coming for me," she countered.
"Sorry, Tabitha, that's the way it is sometimes."
She glared at him even though she knew it wouldn't be any use. She was stuck there until six.
"Then why don't you put on a big pot of coffee," she growled ungraciously. "It's the least you can do. And bring lots of cream and sugar!" She added as he hurried out of the room.
Snape arrived while Tabitha was waiting for her coffee.
"Can you belive it Severus? I tried to get a message to you. I'm stuck here," she said grumpily. "My replacement won't be coming in. You better go back to Hogwarts. I can't leave until six. I already Floo'ed Tonks not to expect me."
"I'll stay."
She shook her head. "No use in both of us losing sleep. Besides, you have to teach class in the morning. Nobody likes a tired, grumpy Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," she laughed.
He gave her a quick, ironic look before he said, "Don't you think I can make a potion to keep me awake?"
"Of course you can," she said loftily, "But you're better off just getting the sleep you need naturally."
"Merlin, you sound like a muggle."
"I'm not ashamed of being half-mortal," she said and her eyes flashed dangerously.
He refused to be sidetracked. "I'm staying, Tabitha, and that's final."
She shrugged. "I wish I had gotten the message to you earlier, just the same. I Floo'ed you at Hogwarts, but..."
"I was busy, he said. "I never got your message."
Some subtle nuance in his voice made her shudder. He must have been on assignment for the Order. His spying on the Death Eaters.
Tabitha was still feeling uneasy ever since that conversation she'd had with Tonks. She realized that there was a lot she didn't know about Severus--things she really ought to know. All of the men she ever dated--both warlock and mortal--were very forthcoming with personal information. Whether she was interested or not, they regaled her with stories about their accomplishments, presumably in the hopes of making themselves more interesting to her. But Snape was quite unlike any man she had ever met. He rarely volunteered information and even when she asked him direct questions, he would give the barest answers. When they first became involved, that didn't bother her. But she decided she needed to know more about him.
"Well, as long as you're staying, you can watch me work." She chose her music and cued up the first song. "They only need me to play music. There won't be any callers and I only have to announce station identification and weather. I suspect the time will go slowly."
They were relatively alone now. Tabitha's boss was in his office catching up on paper work--and trying to stay out of her way. Tabitha and Snape sat together on the old sagging couch in the studio and settled themselves in to wait out the night. He cradled her in his arms, lightly caressing her hair and from time to time, she flicked her wand in the direction of the turntables to cue and play the music.
"You weren't at Hogwarts tonight," she said, trying to sound casual.
His arms stiffened around her, but he answered, "No."
"It's a shame you had to come here for nothing."
"It's not nothing, Tabitha. I made a commitment to myself to keep you safe and I intend to keep it."
She nodded. "So, Severus, what was it like, in the time before? You know--during the First War." She asked abruptly.
He looked at her warily and replied, "I don't like to talk about those things."
"I understand that. But I wasn't here in those days, and I'm curious about what it was like."
"Then ask Molly Weasley. Or your Aunt Minerva. They remember it clearly."
"I'm asking you. I want to know what it was like for you."
He stopped caressing her. "Nothing I could tell you would be pleasant to listen to. You're better off not knowing."
She sat up suddenly and moved over on the couch so she could look directly into his face. "Don't talk to me like a child..."
"Now just calm down."
"Severus, I hardly know anything about you."
"There isn't much to say."
"Ugh!" She crossed her arms and turned her back on him.
"Why is my past so important to you?" He demanded.
"Because you're important to me."
She felt him move closer to her, although he didn't touch her.
"You wouldn't understand," he said quietly. "You don't know what it was like back then. What I was back then."
"That--is why--I want you--to tell me," she bit out the words as she tried to keep her temper in check. "I need to know." She felt the cushions on the couch shift as he stood up and moved so he was directly in front of her.
"Do you really want to know?" He asked and his eyes were the coldest she'd ever seen them, cold and forbidding. "Do you want to know exactly what it felt like to turn against my own people, to betray them, to use forbidden magic...what it felt like to kill?"
She felt fearful all of a sudden, but she started it, and she refused to shrink from his anger and vehemence.
"Why did you have to drag this all up?" He continued. "Did it ever occur to you that there are some things I would rather not be forced to remember? But right now the War demands that I talk and act in certain ways that are distasteful to me. I'm doing my duty, Tabitha, just like you. But since you insist on knowing...
"I killed people I knew and I killed people I had never met before in my life. I watched them bleed out, cease to breathe, suffer pain that you couldn't even imagine. Even the people I killed in self-defense were only counter attacking me.
"You're never the same after you take a life. It leaves a mark on your soul, much more deep than any Dark Mark. And much uglier.
"I would have gone to Azkaban if it weren't for Dumbledore's evidence and testimony about me. You know I turned to his side right before You Know Who's disappearance. I didn't go to Azkaban, but the weight of blood-guiltiness..."
She looked at him, wide eyed at his tirade. All of a sudden, he sat down next to her and took her face in his hands. "How could you know? Somebody as good as you..."
"I didn't mean to put you through all that again. I really just want to understand you, Severus."
He pulled her close and sighed fearfully. "You really never will understand, will you? You have no idea about the evil that lurks out there. Maybe that's why I can't stay away from you--you're pure of heart."
She twined her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Severus," she whispered. "What do you do for the Order?"
"Tabitha, don't ask me."
"You spy, don't you? You meet with the Death Eaters when you get the signal," and she rested her hand on his forearm. "And you convince the Dark Lord that you're on his side and..."
"Stop it!" He demanded and grabbed her shoulders, holding her at arms' length.
"But I need to know..."
"Stop saying you need to know. I can't tell you these things. Don't you see you're not safe? Oh Merlin. I should have never..."
"Never what?"
"You're not safe with me, Tabitha. Anybody I care about is in danger."
"What are you saying?"
"We shouldn't see each other anymore." He held her arms tightly and she winced.
"You don't mean that."
"You're wrong. I do mean it."
"Won't you teach me Defense anymore?"
He stared at her. "I hadn't thought about that."
"You know more about Defense that anybody except Dumbledore," she murmured, eyes lowered. "But if you think it's a bad idea for you to teach me...And I won't ask you to escort me through Floo."
He groaned. "No, not with the death threats. I won't have you traveling alone and being vulnerable. You still have a lot of Defense to learn. I'll still take you to and from work. I'll still teach you Defense. But other than that we can't see each other anymore--not the way we've been."
