Author Note: Thank you for all of the reviews! Torchwood is owned by the BBC.

Chapter Twenty Nine

Ianto sat in the cafe, nervously checking his watch every few minutes and shredding a paper napkin to pieces. He and Jack had had a brief conversation the night before where Jack had said that they needed to talk but rather than reassure him the conversation had just made him nervous.

They had agreed to meet somewhere neutral, so work, their homes and Harriet's were out of the question and Jack had suggested a small cafe near the library so that Ianto could go out on his lunch break. Part of Ianto was glad of the fact that they were somewhere public, somewhere where they couldn't shout and cause a scene but the other part was also afraid that Jack either wouldn't show up or would quickly leave, which in itself would cause a scene.

Ianto checked his watch again and tried to tell the butterflies in his stomach that Jack was just running late and hadn't stood him up. The butterflies were slowly getting bigger, now it felt like bloody pterodactyls were flapping around inside him and Ianto wasn't sure if he was going to be able to keep his coffee down.

-LaL-

Jack groaned as he looked at his watch and saw that he was ten minutes late to his meeting with Ianto, he refused to think of it as a date until he knew exactly where he stood. He fished around in his pockets, trying to find his mobile to call him but only came up with some old boiled sweets and his wallet.

Jack eventually got to the cafe and winced as he saw how late he was, he only hoped that Ianto hadn't given up on him. Jack opened the cafe door and scanned the busy room; he couldn't help but grin as he saw Ianto give a little wave to signal where he was sitting. Just a glimpse of the other man made Jack realise how much he had missed him.

Jack strode over to the two seated table and hesitated before dropping a kiss on Ianto's cheek and saying "hi."

Ianto smiled and felt his cheeks go a little warm, "hi" he echoed, the pterodactyls in his stomach momentarily stilling. Ianto waited for Jack to take off his coat and sit down before gesturing at the mug in front of him "I bought you a coffee but it might be a little cold now."

"Thanks" said Jack "I'm sorry, I got caught up in work and-"

"Forgot your phone" Ianto said with a small smile.

"Yeah" said Jack a little sheepishly. He reached out for his mug and drank it down in four big gulps. He screwed up his nose in distaste and said "you know you've spoilt me for coffee."

Ianto gave a small chuckle and said "yeah, I think I'll be having a tea next."

An awkward silence enveloped the two men for a few moments before Jack jumped up, startling Ianto, for a second his heart beat wildly as he thought Jack was going to leave.

"I'll go get us those teas then shall I?" Jack mumbled.

As Jack walked away Ianto resisted the urge to bang his head on the table repeatedly, instead he quickly wiped all the shredded napkin pieces into his hand and shoved them in his pocket.

A steaming mug was placed in front of him and Ianto smiled weakly at Jack as he sat down, "thanks."

Jack took a sip of his drink and then said "so... I guess that we need to talk."

"Yep" Ianto said quietly.

"I'm sorry" they both said at the same time. Jack gave a small chuckle and Ianto's lips twitched into a smile.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Ianto said a slight hint of bitterness in his tone and looking away from Jack, "I ruined this."

"Is it?" Jack said suddenly, "is it ruined?"

Ianto slowly met Jack's gaze and said "I guess that's up to you."

Jack looked away and took another sip of his drink and Ianto looked back down at the table.

"I should have let you explain... that's what Tosh says" Jack admitted.

Ianto's head snapped up "Tosh?" he asked.

"She came to see me" Jack said quietly.

Ianto grimaced "sorry... I didn't send her... I'll tell her not to bother you again."

Jack leant over and with two fingers lifted Ianto's chin up and made him meet his gaze "she gave me the kick up the ass that I needed. I'm sorry Ianto I shouldn't have just yelled, you didn't actually have to tell me about Lisa."

"I didn't have to tell you about her past" Ianto corrected, "but I should have told you that we were together."

"It was a bit of a shock" Jack admitted.

"I can tell you about it now if you like" Ianto said.

"Okay" Jack said quietly.

A small smile blossomed on Ianto's face, "I met Liam at college... he wasn't my first boyfriend" he admitted making Jack grin. "But he was the first person I fell in love with, we did everything together, spent all our time together, even went to Cardiff University together!"

Ianto paused and took a sip of his tea. "After university, we moved in together and I'll be honest I thought that this was it, Liam was the one and this was going to be my life."

Jack couldn't deny that it hurt to hear Ianto talk like that, but he supposed at one point he felt the same about Gwen... maybe even John all those years ago.

Ianto sighed heavily "I won't go into the details about Lisa's operations and treatments..."

"Well no you don't need to Ianto" Jack interjected. "It doesn't matter to me who Lisa is... or used to be. What upset me was the fact that you felt like you needed to hide it from me, you should have just told me."

"I know" Ianto said frustratedly, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's just... I went out for a drink this one time with a guy... well I told him everything and he freaked out! He was a twat Jack and I know that I shouldn't judge you by his standards but it made me wary."

Ianto paused and Jack gestured at him to continue.

"I figured that we would go on our first few dates and if things were going well I would tell you but then you had all that stress with John... I didn't want to add to it and then it was too late. Too much time had passed and I wasn't sure how to bring it up."

Ianto fiddled with his now empty cup and without looking at Jack said, "I supported Lisa with her decision, I'd known since we first got together that she wasn't comfortable in her own skin... but I never really took it seriously, you know?" Ianto sighed heavily. "Lisa told me her decision a few years ago and I supported her, I just wanted her to be happy, I went to her meetings with the doctors... but there was always something in the back of my mind saying that she would change her mind. But then she began the hormone therapy, started wearing skirts instead of trousers... she told me that she still loved me but felt trapped in the wrong body and I had to help her Jack because God I loved her too."

Ianto blinked furiously, not wanting to cry.

"I've never really been attracted to women Jack but I thought my love for Liam would stay the same, but... slowly but surely Lisa changed too much for me and she knew it too. We'd fight over the most stupid of things and long story short we made an amicable decision to split. We agreed that for as long as Lisa was still having operations and hormone therapy and everything that she would still live with me, she needed the support Jack."

"Well that's understandable" murmured Jack. "It must have been hard."

Ianto made eye contact and said "you have no idea. But we moved on Jack... Lisa has been living as a woman for just over a year now and she's been on a few dates. I guess we just got comfortable living with each other as friends it only really became difficult when I met you. I guess Lisa could see that I was pretty serious about you."

Jack reached over the table and took Ianto's hand, his thumb stroking the back of it gently.

Ianto took in a deep breath and said "Jack, she will always be one of my closest friends; I'm just not in love with her anymore. I know that I should have told you but... well now I don't know why I didn't. I just figured that you might find the fact that I live with someone who I used to date weird."

"Although it is different" Jack said "it's not the most unusual thing I've seen in my line of work."

Both men shared a smile and then Jack took in a deep breath of his own "my turn is it?"

Ianto shook his head and opened his mouth but Jack stopped him with a look.

"I overreacted" Jack admitted. "It's not an excuse but I think it just kind of reminded me of when I found out about Gwen's affair... to be honest I assumed that you were still with Lisa but Toshiko put me straight."

Ianto tightened his grip on Jack's hand, "I swear Jack I haven't been with her since we split."

Jack gave a lopsided smile "well I know that now" he said. "I am sorry Yan, I should have talked to you but... well I remembered how you got a bit funny in the shower for a moment and I thought that you must have been thinking about Lisa whilst with me and it made me angry. I figured the only reason I was round was because she was away for the weekend... it all kind of jumbled up in my head and I just vented. Then my stupid pride got in the way and I just couldn't pick up the phone."

"I'm glad you did" Ianto said.

"So am I" Jack smiled, "but I'm afraid that's more because of Toshiko, she made me realise that I was being an idiot."

"I guess I owe her one of Harriet's muffins then" Ianto chuckled, feeling better than he had in what felt like forever.

"I think we both do" Jack said with a smile.

"So is it?" Ianto asked.

"Is it what?" Jack asked confusedly.

"Ruined?" Ianto said, his heart beating a little faster.

Jack looked at the table, where his hand was still in Ianto's and then looked into Ianto's blue-grey eyes, "no I don't think it is."