Chapter 26 – Goodbye for now

''The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.''~ Anonymous


My brother refused to leave my side for more than 15 minutes. But instead of getting frustrating by his newly found attachment to me, all I feel was sadness. At first, my brother slept at the sofa, refusing to leave the room until I managed to persuade him to sleep beside me instead.

Staring at him now, I can't help but cry silently. He looked even more innocent and vulnerable when asleep. I carefully touched his hair, smoothing the soft black strands lacking the gel he applied every day to help his hair remain up and spiky. Just like how Ging does from the pictures.

I sighed and crossed my legs. I have been meditating at night when everyone was asleep. Wing, the young man that helped us get into this accommodation lived only a few rooms apart from ours. Judging from my cards, he should know Nen and possibly the person to teach my brother and Killua about Nen in the incoming future. If everything comes into plan and that I haven't ruined it as bad as I think I already have.

Because I essentially don't exist or wasn't supposed to exist, I can't really tell where I'm going or what is coming for me. But for my brother, I know that he will face a strange person standing and balanced on one pole. He seem to have no feet and covered the entirety of his being with a red cloth. His main weapons looked like those spinning tops many children love to play with. This man can use Nen. With some more asking, I managed to get an image of three men – one was in a wheelchair, one balanced on a pole, and the other looked absolutely creepy and seemed to be losing one arm. I am guessing these men will be three of the many that Gon and Killua would fight. And then of course, Hisoka and Gon's fight.

Then, I believe after the arena, Gon and Killua will go home to Whale Island. Without me.

Oooh... Mito's gonna be pissed. Grandmother Abe too! Come to think of it, I've never written to Mito. But Gon has already. To be fair, I added some stuff there and sent my regards but maybe…I'll send a letter before I go.

Then, in comes Yorknew City – where the largest auction of the world will occur. Kurapika will make his first move against the Phantom Troupe, killing a huge man, an enhancer called Uvogin. In the process, Gon and Killua will meet Chrollo Lucifer – a specialist with stealing type of Nen.

What I also noticed during these small sessions is that I don't get nose-bleeds that often anymore. Yes! An accomplishment!

After Yorknew City, a straw-coloured, pig-tailed girl with incredibly large eyes and a pink dress appeared on my cards. The words Greed Island rang in my ears and a vision of the bomber, a long-faced blond man appeared on my card. This man… I remembered will injure my brother.

Furthermore, much to my innocent, fragile eyes, my card made me see a picture of Hisoka, all in his naked glory. I inwardly groaned and scolded the girly part of me squealing at his…

Stupid girl! He fucking beaten you black, blue and violet! Hot or not, he has a very deplorable perversion towards children! Naïve, innocent, full of potential boys like your brother! Not to mention he has seen you half-naked and didn't even react! That only meant one thing! He really is a pervert!

I sighed and shook my head carefully. I don't have anything against homosexuals but him and my brother? No. No. No.

No…My brother will be fine. He and Killua will be just fine.

And then, the Chimeras.

This was the part I was dreading about. The part that I am so scared about. In this part, my cards have turned rather violent. Kaito had his head severed off and was held in between a cat-human's legs. The chairman will die during this time, killed by a green-boy with a funny helmet.

It was all so simple.

And yet so complicated.

This was when I started having violent dreams. It was Pokkle, the small petite guy from the Hunters exam. He was naked and his skull was wide open whilst a human cat probed his brain. He has a frozen horrified expression on his face.

Then, the next thing I know, I was looking at Gon's face, he was naked and asking me for help. His voice was utterly lifeless that hearing it in my head brought me a blast of fear and an extreme hurt all over my body.

''Help me, Gin. Help.''

Of course, I knew it was all nightmare even while having the dream. But then, it will change to Killua, to Kurapika, to Leorio, to Ging, to Mito, to Grandmother Abe until I wake up, sweating with a scream stuck inside my throat and my brother murmuring comforting words at me.

As time passed by, so did the week. Soon after, it was time for me to go and the boys grew increasingly silent.

''I will come back as early as I can. Hopefully, he'd give me breaks, Gon, Killua.'' I told them as we prepared to leave. In addition to the blue skater dress, white cardigan, knee-high socks and my old doll shoes, I wore an olive green woollen scarf from Gon. It hid the dark blue bruises around my neck well. As for my head-dress, it got a little bloody that I had to fight with Killua because he wanted to chuck it to the bin.

''No! Kurapika bought it for me! I'll keep it! No, Killua! Gon! Tell him to give it back!''

Of course, I won in the end and despite the dried blood in the feathers, I proudly wore it like a crown.

I strapped my weapon holsters and my 5 throwing knives around my thighs under my dress, my hip bag containing my collection of knives around my waists and sheathed two knives inside the straps on my arms. Inside my backpack, I have two sets of underwear, courtesy of Killua and Gon. It was a dark blue bikini underwear, polka dots with white laces and a green matching lacy boy shorts and bralette. Apparently, Gon decided to buy 5 pairs of matching under wears but I'm only bringing two. Aww, and they are all so cute!

My first aid kit bag was still untouched and my survival knife unused and my frog purse still have my money in it! Kurapika bought the head-dress for me. Oh… he's so purr-fect!

Come to think of it, I never had to spend anything on food either. Kurapika and Leorio had bought us snacks on the way to Killua's mansion. Those guys are amazing…

''Just how many knives did you bring with you?!'' asked a puzzled Killua. ''That bag's quite heavy.'' He pointed at the small hip bag.

''Hm…Well, I was going to bring 10 but then…'' I smiled at my twin who was as usual, watching us bicker. He tilted his head to the side, waiting. ''I changed my mind at the last minute! And brought my whole collection!''

Gon's eyes widened. ''The whole…? But sis…You have like 20…''

I beamed at him and nodded. ''Yup! I thought…you know, just to be safe. I also have a bottle of pepper spray here.'' I said, patting the small bag. Not like they did me anything good. Well, they did and still do make me feel safer.

Gon frowned. ''They must have been heavy, sis.''

''Hmm?'' I thought about it. ''Yeah… I guess they were a little heavy.''

Gon smiled and sighed. ''You're amazing, Gin!'' He cheered. I started and blushed, fidgeting on my spot.

''Heh…''

I turned to Killua. ''What?''

He shrugged and shifted away, pocketing his hands again.

Just to be safe, I asked Wing to buy the tickets and name it under him. With an understanding smile, the teacher had agreed. Hopefully, Hisoka wouldn't know I went to train with Netero. Grateful for his little waking up session or not, I think I'll punch him next time I see him. That bastard took off my corset! That pervert!

You know...he didn't even comment on them right? He likes boys.

Gon! I shivered when I heard Hisoka's voice moan in my head. NONONONONONONO...Maybe I shouldn't leave. God, my baby boy is in danger...No. Killua's here. He'll protect Gon. But... Killua's also in danger!

My brother held my tensed shoulder and we walked out of our rented room. I forced my mind blank and pushed away my crazy thoughts. They will be fine. They are very strong and intelligent boys. And Wing is here.

Just to be safe again, we booked two rooms beside each other. Killua had disagreed and refused to sleep in one room as us. The shy brat. He sauntered on my other side, carrying my backpack and Togari in his hand. I still hasn't practised with them. What have I been doing? I wondered a little.

As if to answer, the dim-litted torture room of the Zoldycks and the girls' toilets entered my mind and I pushed the pictures out of my head.

A part of me already misses my brother but also, another part was excited to leave and learn whatever Netero had planned for me. Wait… He has something planned, right? However, for some reason, that old man doesn't look like someone who make lesson plans to me. He might just throw some books and then leave me to learn alone…

My eye twitched and I frowned at myself. That sounds awfully like something he'd do…

Outside the inn, Wing and his student, Zushi were waiting for us. The younger boy's eyes widened at my head-dress while Wing just pleasantly smiled. I winked at the young boy who blushed in return.

''O-su!'' I greeted.

''O-osu!'' he replied. I chuckled at his cuteness and reached out to ruffle his brown hair.

''Do your best in the heavens arena, dear.'' He meekly nodded, peeking up to me shyly. ''Gon and Killua will join in the fray very soon. You might face one of them.'' I winked. ''Better start training harder.'' I mock-whispered.

''Tche. Even if he'd started last month or last year, he's still 10 years early to beat me.'' Boasted someone. The younger boy glowered, bristling like a young poodle.

My heart lightened when I heard Gon chuckle. I turned to Wing who was watching me with an unreadable expression on his face. I bowed. ''Thank you again for helping us, Mr. Wing. I hope to see you again. Please take care of my brother and Killua.'' I smiled. ''They'll need it once they enter the 200th floors.'' The older man seemed a little surprise at my sure tone. After all, his student Zushi is still in the 50s at the moment. Then, he warmly smiled at me.

''Of course, Gin. Take care of yourself wherever you're going.'' His dark eyes hiding behind his glasses glinted. My smile faltered a little. Does he know where I'm going?

He chuckled and offered a hand. ''I wish you all the best, Gin.'' He said genuinely. I took his proffered hand and shook it.

''Thank you. Please take care of my brother and Killua. They're really reckless oftimes.'' I half-teased.

As expected, Killua snorted. ''Yeah, right. Between the three of us, you win at being reckless. Wait…Hey!'' he straightened and pointed at me accusingly. ''You still haven't brought us to dinner!''

I frowned, tilting my head to the side. Dinner.

Mr. Satotz flat, emotionless face materialised at the front of my mind's eyes. My eye twitched. ''You know that we finished at the same time, right?''

The catfish crossed his arms and smirked. ''Hmph. But! You finished last! And you promised to buy us dinner!''

Gon happily nodded his head on my left side. ''30 Jennie—'' the silver-haired boy snapped at him and sent Gon a glare.

''Ah… your 30 Jennies dinner.'' I nodded my head, pretending to have just remembered it. From my peripheral, I saw Wing and Zushi tilt their heads comically at the same side, confused and left out.

''Mah… things here are so expensive though. Maybe in Whale Island when you visit, we'll go then.'' I smiled and watched as his blue eyes widen a miniscule amount before they shone in excitement. He smiled sincerely then. I blinked. Then, as if catching himself, he pursed his lips and scoffed.

''Hm! Mito-san makes the best foods, Killua!'' My brother proudly informed. I nodded my head, my eyes closed and remembering our aunt's pretty face.

''Then, shall we head off now?'' I asked.

Killua and Gon shared a look and nodded. ''Bye Mr. Wing! Zushi!'' I waved.

''O-su!''

''Take care of yourself, Gin. I'll see you when you get back, boys.''

I giggled, once we were a few feet away. ''He's so cute.'' I mumbled.

Killua just shook his head. ''What?'' I asked him, puzzled.

''Nothing. Just that you seem really like the type to like younger boys than you.'' He smirked when I gasped, hand flying to my chest.

''You did not just accuse me of being a paedophile!''

''You're like…'' he crumpled his face, smiling and fluttering his eyes. With a hand on his chest, ''Do your best in the heavens arena, dear!'' He squeaked.

'I do not speak like that!'' I playfully slapped his arm. He smirked.

''Yes, you do, dear!''

I groaned. ''I do not!''

He squeaked. ''I do not!'' he stomped his foot, arms bent up at the elbows.

I crossed my arms and turned away from him. Then, I realised that Gon was laughing quietly. ''Gon! I don't act like that, do I?''

My twin brother stopped laughing (sort of). His brown eyes sparkled in amusement. ''Hm…Well…'' he trailed off, much to my growing exasperation. He could at least lie and side with me!

I pouted and strolled ahead, my chin tilted up. Gon followed closely. ''…You're cute, Gin. Very cute!'' he praised and I fought the smile off my face, turning away to my left to hide it. That Gon thinks flattery will get him somewhere!

I jerked back when I found myself face to face with a simpering Killua. I broke out laughing and thereafter the boys too.


Most of our journey in the airship were spent in silence. Gon and I mostly remained entwined with each other, our arms linked. I felt almost sorry for Killua, our own personal third-wheel. I smiled and fought the urge to giggle. It wasn't my fault that Killua hated public displays of affection!

I tried to coerce him in joining our little hug fests but he just scoffs and saunters away.

Though I really have a feeling he wanted to.

In the airship, we mostly just sat down and walked about. My injuries still hasn't healed. It was obvious with the blue bruises around my neck. Normally, it will take about 3-4 weeks for bruised ribs and concussions to get better. But I feel a lot better already. Something that the doctor was a little surprised about. I think the meditations helped despite the fact that it gave me even more nightmares and dark circles under my eyes. My bruises were still quite fresh but the pain wasn't as bad as before. However, I still take the painkillers and ice my ribs when I can to help ease the soreness.

''How long do you think the apprenticeship will long, Gin?'' My brother asked. A table separated us from Killua who was busy munching on some crisps. Upon hearing question, the silver-haired boy looked up, awaiting the answer.

I hummed, looking up to the white roofing of the airship. Outside, the bright city lights twinkled like bright burning stars below. We still have this night and tomorrow, we'll arrive at the Hunter Association.

''I don't know, Gon.'' I answered and saw how my brother's shoulders sag in defeat. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He looked up, eyes shining and looking like a cute kicked puppy. I smiled, despite my burning eyes. ''But I'll force that old man to let me go for breaks! Tche! If he won't allow me, I'll escape!'' I fisted my hand and nodded.

My brother's eyes widened and his lips slowly curled up into a beaming smile. ''Then, can you meet us in September!? That's in 5 months!''

I smiled, a decision forming in my head. ''Alright! I'll force him to let me go! By that time, who knows? I might be stronger than him! HAHAHAHAHA!'' I cackled, standing up and placing my hands on my hips to strike an awesome pose. I grinned down at my happy brother who was clapping his hands merrily then to Killua who was staring at me with a cynical and sarcastic look on his face. I gave him a thumbs up and caught a glimpse of him smiling before he shook his head in disbelief.


As expected, we landed in the morning. After riding a bus, we arrived and easily located the building. It was a tall, rectangular mirrored establishment and at the top, there is a board sign with the Hunters Association logo pasted on it. The mirrors gleamed and refracted the sun's glare, making it hard to look at. Gon arranged and fiddled with my new green scarf around my neck with a shaky smile. The colour matched his ensemble. The first time he gave it to me, I cried. Because that was the time after I told him I was leaving him. He entered the room with a paper bag in his hand and he told me that he will let me go.

I closed my eyes and bumped our foreheads together. Today, I was still taller than him. But maybe when I see him again, he would have gone taller. I sensed Killua turning away as if to give us some privacy.

I reached out and caught him around the neck. ''Oomh.'' A silver-hair joined our mop of black hair. With a smile, I let my tears fall. ''I was wrong, Gon.'' I started, my arm tightening around Killua. ''There aren't only two people in this world. Stay together, okay?''

''Hm.'' To my surprise, it was Killua who answered. I let go and wiped my tears. Killua silently handed me my backpack. I slipped the worn-out straps around my shoulders with a small grateful smile. Behind me, I felt Gon slip out the feathers that got stuck between.

The Hunter association building stood towering and gleaming over us. However, its majestic and imposing figure failed to catch our awe due to our depressed states.

I took a deep breath and stared at the revolving doors not far away. I turned once again towards my silent brother who was looking dejectedly at the floor, hiding his tears. For one last time until we meet again, I threw myself at him and hugged him tightly. ''I love you, Gon. I love you so much. Remember that forever. I love you.'' I whispered. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked my tears away, willing myself to stay strong.

''I love you too, Gin.'' His small shoulders shook again. ''I love you…'' his small voice broke and he muffled his sobs against my white cardigan. ''Call me. Call me anytime when you need me. If someone tries to hurt you here, come back to me. Call me right away and I promise, I promise I'll come running.''

I chuckled. ''…We don't have a phone.'' I reminded him. He chuckled in response.

''Then write to me every day. Or every time you can. Killua and I will buy a phone and then I'll write you the number.''

I nodded. ''Hm. Okay.'' With one last squeeze, I sniffed his scent and glued it to my memory. ''Gon?''

''Hm?''

''When you fight with Hisoka… Don't forget the pepper spray, okay? Keep it in your pocket and then when you gain enough distance, spray it all over his face!''

''Uh… okay''

I let go and with a wide smile, I walked hesitantly and slowly more surely away.

Upon reaching the doors, I turned back and saw them still standing where I left them. I smiled and waved. They waved back and with a deep breath, I let myself in.

For Gon, for myself, for Killua, for Kurapika, for Leorio, for Mito, for Grandmother Abe and for everyone else dear to me. I won't let those I care about be crushed by the strong. For that… I will become strong.


AN: The super awesome head-dress strikes again! Gon has professional cute underwear collection. Gon sure knows his sister's things. I think he has a future in Underwear hunting. LOL. And Gin...Gin has no idea. What reaction was she waiting for? LOL! What do you think will happen now? I'd love to hear your thoughts :) Thank you for your support! The next chapter might take a while guys... I have a booklet to read and answer. xD