A/N: As always thanks to my super duper beta Jessica1971. She once again has worked her magic upon this chapter and made it prettier.... muah!!!

My RL has been insane over the last couple weeks so I apologize for the delayed update but I hope you'll feel it was worth it at the end. Thank you to all of you who have read and reviewed. It makes my day when I get those little alerts in my in-box and I appreciate every single one. MMB is approaching the 1700 mark and that just blows me away every single day. So THANK YOU!!!

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot and storyline herein belongs to the author.


Chapter 29 Revelations....

BPOV

The feeling of waking up wrapped in Edward's arms was one I hoped I would never get used to. Looking at his face and the.....prettiness of his features made even more so in the relaxed state of sleep made my heart skip. I knew he would kill me if he knew I ever referred to him as pretty, but really how else do you describe someone who looks like Edward?

If he was a woman he would be super model status beautiful, so there really wasn't a description that fit other than...pretty.

The few weeks since my birthday had been some of the best Edward and I had since moving in together. He was more relaxed and I was surer of where we were headed in our relationship, we were able to just settle into a comfortable rhythm with one another.

Edward seemed to have made peace with his jealousy over my friendship with Seth. The four of us went out a few times to dinner before Seth and Angela had to get back to Nashville. Seth wasn't completely moved out of his house here so they would be back in a few weeks, just before Thanksgiving, to close up his house.

I smiled remembering the night Seth showed up at our door unannounced and how nervous I felt before Edward arrived home, having no idea how he would react to Seth's presence. Though I was happy to see my friend, I would be lying if I didn't admit that the anticipation of Edward's reaction scared me out of my mind. I didn't think Edward would make a scene, but I knew he wouldn't be happy; it wasn't as if he made a secret of his feelings about my relationship with Seth. And though I tried to make Angela and Seth welcome, I was truly nervous about Edward coming home, which led to not paying closer attention and ensuring the lid was on the blender tightly before turning it on.

When I heard Edward's laughter ring through the kitchen after the blender blew up all over me, I can't describe the emotions that shot through me at that moment. Shock was the first, but that morphed into relief, which of course then became playful irritation because he found it so funny that I was covered in drink mix.

I bit my lip, trying not to wake Edward with the giggles that were bubbling in my chest, but I couldn't help the snicker that escaped my lips at the thought of Edward's face when I pounced and wiped as much of the sticky mix on him as I could.

I knew it would drive him nuts that I put my gooey hands in his hair. If there was one thing Edward hated above all else, it was being sticky; he completely loathed anything even remotely sticky. It made his skin crawl to see kids with lollipop goo or ice cream all over their faces and dripping down their hands. So I knew that little stunt would get a reaction out of him, and hopefully distract him a bit more from the fact that Seth was sitting in his house.

My chest tightened at the realization that Edward finally understood this was home and that the house was his every bit as much as it was mine. The feeling of warmth and happiness that spread through my body when it became apparent he felt that way was indescribable.

And when Edward invited Seth and Angela not only to have dinner that night, but also to join us for my birthday party, I was beyond shocked. Something changed in Edward that night, he seemed to come to some sort of acceptance of Seth, and it made my love for him grow exponentially. I knew that he was trying to be understanding and that it was for me. And I think the fact that Angela was present helped somewhat, but the fact remained that he was really trying.

I traced a finger lightly over Edward's face, thinking back on the bracelet he gave me and tears prickled in my eyes, remembering how much I loved the gift. His words of explanation for why he chose each of the charms and the nervousness I could see in his face were beyond adorable and broke my heart at the same time. He truly was unsure if I would like the charms or not.

Edward really knew me better than he would admit even to himself, it was almost as if he was afraid to believe that we were really at this point in our relationship, and, honestly, I couldn't blame him because I felt the same way at times. I almost felt the need to pinch myself on a daily basis just to make sure I wasn't dreaming, that Edward truly was back in my life and that we were taking steps to make it a more permanent endeavor.

The thought of actually having a future with anyone, let alone the fact that we had a future together, was exciting and daunting at the same instant.

I smiled as I traced Edward's full lips with my index finger and watched them pull up at the corners before they pursed and kissed the tip of my finger.

"G'morning, love," Edward's deep, gravelly sleep thickened voice whispered and I felt the immediate reaction of my body all the way down to my toes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I said, leaning down to kiss him gently.

"It's okay, baby, you didn't wake me. I was just lying here enjoying you doing that. I've actually been awake for a while." Edward rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him, smiling as he opened his eyes.

I folded my hands on his chest, resting my chin on top so I could look up at him, "Is that so?"

"Mmhmm," he hummed happily before his expression turned more serious. "Are you okay about today?"

I felt my eyes widen at his reminder about the doctor's appointment later that morning and was momentarily stunned into silence.

The last couple of weeks, Edward and I had danced around this subject, touching on what it would mean to us both but not getting any deeper than acknowledging the time was drawing close to the day that would change our future regardless of what we found out.

It seemed strange in some ways to think about Edward and I having a child in any capacity, seeing as though we were not even officially engaged, but knowing that was where our path together was headed, it was comforting. The idea that Edward wasn't afraid to find out and truly wanted to know what we could or could not do in that respect helped with some of my anxiety. I knew he would be here regardless of the outcome of today's appointment.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes before answering his question. Was I okay? I didn't really know, but I knew that with him there beside me, whatever we found out it would be okay.

"Truthfully?" I asked, opening my eyes to meet the intensity of his emerald gaze.

He nodded, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear before folding his long fingers around my neck to bring my face closer and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I'm not sure how okay I am, but.....I want to know and I also know that you'll be there, and regardless of what they tell us, that we'll figure out where we go from here," I whispered and dipped my head to place a kiss to his bare chest, just over his heart.

"Um....you know I've got to have my yearly check up today as well, right?"

I giggled when Edward grimaced, scrunching up his nose at the reminder that today's appointment was more than just meeting with my doctor. I had not been back in to see Dr. Gonzalez since he released me after the surgery. I was only slightly late for my yearly check up and figured that killing two birds with one stone was a good idea.

"Ugh..." Edward groaned.

"Sorry....you can just wait in the waiting room while Dr. Gonzalez does the exam. He won't do any of the talking in the exam room anyway. He always talks to me in his office, so I can just come get you when he's ready to talk to us."

Edward looked slightly relieved at that prospect and then a look of uncertainty passed over his face.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Bella, I don't want you to think I'm not here for you...I mean I can stay with you in the room if-"

"Edward, really, it's fine," I said, cutting him off. "I wouldn't be in there either if I didn't have to be. Believe me, the exam is really not all it's cracked up to be. I'll be fine....it's not like I haven't been having these since I was like fifteen...'k?"

Edward looked at me for a long moment before he placed a hand behind my head, pulling me to him for a gentle kiss. My hands slid up over his chest to frame his face.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips when I pulled back, breaking our kiss.

"Love you, too," Edward said.

"Come on, I'll fix some breakfast while you take a shower."

"Bella," Edward whined as I slipped out of the bed and made my way toward the door.

"What?" I asked, smiling over my shoulder and winking at him.

~*~

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed his lips to my hair as I exited the car outside Dr. Gonzalez's office.

"Nervous?"

I could only nod before allowing Edward to pull me into his embrace and burying my face in his chest. I took a deep breath, trying desperately to find the calm I felt earlier. I couldn't really explain why I felt on the verge of tears; I just was and it pissed me off. The nerves were getting the better of me and I didn't like it one bit.

My whole body trembled with the nervous energy flowing through me and Edward must have felt it, too, because he tightened his arms around me, crushing me to him. We stood that way for several moments before I pulled away and took his hand, leading him toward Dr. Gonzalez's office.

"Hi, Bella," Connie called as I approached the reception desk.

Connie and Dr. Gonzalez had been married for years, and though she looked as though she were in her thirties, she was probably pushing sixty. Connie was a registered nurse, so she not only worked in the office, but in the hospital with Dr. Gonzalez, as well.

"Hi, Connie. How are you?" I asked, still holding tightly to Edward's hand.

"I'm wonderful, dear. You?" Connie asked and I saw her eyes widen a little as she looked over my shoulder, taking in Edward. I watched with a smirk on my face as her eyes slowly raked over Edward from head to toe.

I bit the inside of my cheek. I knew Connie was a huge flirt, having heard her on more than one occasion embarrass the husbands of patients about their prowess for 'knocking up' their wives, even though many of the women visited Dr. Gonzalez for infertility treatment and were more than likely pregnant by other means.

Dr. Alejandro Gonzalez was an OB/GYN who specialized in woman's reproductive diseases and infertility. He told me time and again the fact that I got pregnant was a miracle in and of itself. Being diagnosed with Endometriosis in my later teenage years, I was plagued with unbearable cramps and pain at all times of the month, not just during my cycle. During my cycle I was pretty close to incapacitated, and it was finally suggested after trying many different treatments that I see a specialist, which led me to Dr. Gonzalez. He and Connie became almost like another set of parents to me, especially during my pregnancy and then after everything happened with losing the baby.

"I'm great, thank you. Connie," I said and smiled before I turned to look up at Edward, I almost laughed at the deer in the headlights look on his face, "this is Edward Cullen. Edward, Concetta Gonzalez. She's Dr. Gonzalez's wife."

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am." Edward smiled politely, stepping forward to offer his hand to Connie, who smiled even wider as she ran her eyes over him once again.

"Well, hello handsome," Connie purred.

I had to choke back the urge to laugh out loud as I saw Edward's eyes go even wider and he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. I watched him squirm for a moment before deciding to help him out.

"Down, Connie," I teased, placing my free hand on Edward's chest and looking up to meet his eyes. "He's all mine."

Edward smiled that crooked grin I loved so much at my words.

"Damn," Connie laughed, dropping Edward's hand, shaking her head before bending to grab a small computer from the desk. "Just have a seat, you two. I'll be back for you in a minute, Bella. Let me run get the room set up."

The office had gone completely paperless a couple of years ago and instead of those huge thick files they used to keep on everyone, they now had every record stored electronically.

"Sure thing," I said as Connie walked away.

I turned to see there were a few other patients waiting as well, but I assumed they were there for things other than seeing the doctor. Holding Edward's hand, I led the way to one of the sofas along the far wall.

Dr. Gonzalez's office was designed to look more like a home than an office. There were none of those horribly uncomfortable 'waiting room' chairs that you expected to see in a doctor's office. Instead, there were sofas and overstuffed wing chairs arranged throughout the large waiting area. The lighting wasn't from those god awful commercial fluorescent lights, but came from stylish wrought iron lamps on side tables and the sun that filtered through the sheer covered windows that made up one entire wall. The walls were painted a soft muted yellow, which gave the entire room a feeling of warmth and comfort.

Edward placed an arm along the back of the sofa and propped one foot on his knee before leaning in to whisper in my ear, "You can't leave me out here with that woman."

I had to cover my mouth to hold in the laugh at the seriousness in his voice, but it was useless as a snicker escaped anyway and Edward scowled.

"I'm serious," he said, his voice rising slightly with his irritation at my not taking his distress seriously.

"Oh my God, Edward, she's not going to molest you in the waiting room," I whispered, laughing. "She's completely harmless, just a huge flirt."

"Pfft...so you say," he muttered under his breath.

I couldn't help giggling at him and shook my head as Connie came back to the waiting room. I patted Edward's knee, kissed him on the cheek, and gave him an encouraging smile before I stood to join Connie in the doorway. If nothing else, Edward's reaction to Connie's not so subtle advances distracted me for a while and I felt a bit more relaxed.

"That man is some serious hotness, my dear. Where did you dream him up?" Connie crooned as I followed her down the hall to the nurse's area where she took my vitals.

"Edward and I have known each other a long time. Keep your hands to yourself, Connie," I warned, glaring at her playfully.

"Not likely, sweetheart. That's just too tempting, and way too much fun; I thought he was going to pee himself when I was playing with him earlier," Connie snorted before leading me into the exam room.

I laughed as the image of Edward's face and the way he begged me not to leave him alone after his first encounter with Connie came to mind.

"Seriously, Bella, he's a catch. I like him much more than that sorry excuse for a husband you had before."

Connie never made any bones about the fact she didn't care for Tyler. Tyler accompanied me to only one visit to see Dr. Gonzalez not long after we married. Tyler did not make a good first impression on Connie. Although he was on his best behavior that day, she seemed to have an uncanny way of reading people and just never took a liking to him.

"Me, too, Connie," I agreed as we stepped into the exam room.

Just like the waiting area, the exam rooms were made to be more like a home or spa. The colors were muted and the lights were soft. There were no paper cover ups or those god awful paper half gowns. Instead they provided their patients with short terry cloth robes and soft fleece throws to cover with.

"Alright, sweetie," Connie turned to place her computer on the counter. "Go ahead and get undressed. Slip into the robe on the back of the door and hit the light when you're ready," she instructed as she hit a few buttons on the screen before stepping back toward the door.

I waited until Connie shut the exam room door before shedding my clothes and slipping into the robe as instructed. I hit the little alert light before hopping up on the exam table, the one item in the room that reminded you of where you actually were, and waited with baited breath for the doctor to come in.

"Bella," Dr. Gonzalez called as he entered the room, a wide smile upon his face.

He was followed closely by Connie, who I noticed had an evil glint in her eye, and I instantly wondered if she had been torturing Edward.

"Yes, Bella, I like him much better than that Tyler character," she whispered as she passed.

I groaned inwardly and rolled my eyes at the thought of what form of uncomfortable teasing Connie heaped on Edward while he waited in the other room.

"How are you, my dear?" Dr. Gonzalez continued oblivious to Connie's comment. "It's been quite a while since I've seen you. You're feeling well, I take it, and this is your yearly, no?"

"I'm good, Dr. G. Yes, it's my yearly and....." I hesitated unsure how to form the words to express the other reason for my visit today. I knew he was aware I wanted to talk with him about my surgery and other things because I had made that clear when I set-up the appointment.

"And?" He looked at me over the top of his glasses expectantly.

He was going to make me tell him why I was here today....all of it. Dr. Gonzalez was annoying in that way. Though I truly adored him, he always made me say what I was thinking even when I was terribly uncomfortable with it.

"I also wanted to talk with you about what happened last year....I know you tried to talk to me before, but I wasn't ready and....I am now, so...." I dropped my eyes to stare at a very interesting pattern on the carpet, unable to look him in the eye as I finished, my voice trailing off.

"Very good. Let's get this party started then, yes?" he asked as he approached the table where I sat and patted my knee gently. "Lie back on the table and we'll get this out of the way, then talk in my office, no?"

Dr. Gonzalez placed his hands inside the robe. He was careful to allow as much modesty as possible while being impossibly thorough, opening one side at a time as he completed the breast exam. He ran through the gamut of standard questions that accompanied every yearly exam about diet, exercise, and any new issues he needed to be aware of.

I stiffened as he finished the breast exam and moved down to uncover my torso so he could palpate my abdomen for any problems. Though I really didn't have an issue being completely uncovered in front of Edward, my body and mind reacted to the surroundings and I was instantly uncomfortable.

It didn't escape Dr. Gonzalez's or Connie's watchful eyes.

"Bella, dear, I'm going to do the rest of your exam now. I know this is difficult for you. I'll be as quick as possible and we'll be finished soon, yes?" Dr. Gonzalez looked into my eyes with the kind smile and quiet reassurance I needed at that moment.

I took a deep breath as I felt the tears burning at the back of my eyes and fought to keep them in check while trying to relax my body and I nodded.

"Okay, I'm now going to do the pelvic exam, so I need you to move your bottom to the end of the table and we'll be all finished."

I nodded and scooted down the table, placing my feet in the stirrups. I took deep, cleansing breaths to quell the nausea and to keep the tears at bay.

"All done," Dr. Gonzalez said as he stood from the end of the table, removing his gloves and throwing them in the trash can in the corner. "You get dressed and then Connie will show you into my office. I'll be in to talk with you soon. You have someone who will be joining us also, yes?"

"Yes, sir. Edward, my...." I hesitated for a split second because I wasn't sure what to call him. Edward was so much more than my boyfriend but we weren't officially engaged. "My boyfriend."

"Very good," Dr. Gonzalez said, patting my knee once again as he passed. "I will see both of you in a few moments then."

Connie squeezed my shoulder as she made her way out of the room behind the doctor.

I quickly redressed and tried to get my emotions under control. The lightness I felt before the exam had rapidly been replaced by a knot of fear in the pit of my stomach and I was dreading the next part of the visit more than I had previously.

Placing the robe and throw in the hamper behind the table, I made my way out of the exam room and saw Connie standing at the nurse's station with another patient. I motioned to the waiting room to let her know I was going to retrieve Edward before she took us to Dr. Gonzalez's office.

I saw Edward as soon as I opened the door to the waiting room, and instantly my body relaxed - until I took in his posture. Edward sat stiffly on the edge of the sofa, his forearms resting on his thighs with his long fingers laced together and hanging between his knees. Edward seemed completely entranced with his hands at the moment and so lost in thought that he was oblivious to my presence until I ran my fingers through the hair at the back of his head.

Edward's eyes snapped to mine and he stood immediately, wrapping me in an embrace as though he had not seen me in years.

"Bella," he sighed.

For a moment I truly worried about what Connie did to him while I was in the exam room. But it slowly became apparent that Edward was even more worried about this appointment than I realized, and when I wrapped my arms around his body I felt a tremor run through him.

"Edward? Are you okay?" I asked on a breath.

"Yes, I am now. Is everything okay? I...." Edward pulled back to look me in the eye, inspecting every millimeter of my face.

I needed to do something to break some of his tension and quick. We couldn't both fall apart, not yet at least.

"Wow! What did Connie do to you? Did she traumatize you with her advances and requests for you to be her new cabana boy?"

Edward stared at me for a moment as if I had lost my mind or sprouted a third eyeball before he chuckled and pulled me into another hug.

"No, she was actually really nice after you went back. She didn't hit on me at all. I'm not sure if I should be relieved or insulted," he joked.

I laughed and was able to relax a bit more knowing Edward was a little more at ease.

I took Edward's hand and led him back through the door to find Connie.

Twenty minutes later, Dr. Gonzalez entered the room and I introduced him to Edward.

"So, Bella, you have questions, no?"

"Yes, sir," I looked over at Edward and he nodded, taking my hand in his. "I know that when...well, last year, that there were things you wanted to explain to me and I'm sorry that-"

"No, no, Bella. No apologies, the events of last year were very traumatizing and you were not ready to hear it at the time. Very understandable, my dear."

Edward squeezed my hand and I smiled wearily at him, fighting the tears and swallowing thickly as I struggled to gain control over my emotions.

"Can you explain to me what happened? Why...." my voice broke and I couldn't complete the question, but Dr. Gonzalez smiled sadly.

"Yes, dear child, I'll explain. As you know, Bella, you had an extreme case of endometriosis which we treated with laparoscopic interventions several times over the last few years. The adhesion's discovered and removed during the last intervention were quite extensive. Unfortunately, there was an adhesion which had regrown shortly after your last procedure. When you discovered you were pregnant, the adhesion was not seen on any of the ultrasounds performed at that time. Fortunately, the adhesion had attached to the abdominal wall and no other vital organs. The problem arose as the pregnancy progressed and your baby grew. The strain and stress on that adhesion from the changes to your uterus eventually proved too much for the uterine wall and it ruptured.

"The uterus was irreparably damaged, leading to the need for the hysterectomy, there was no other option." Dr. Gonzalez met my gaze with a sympathetic look.

"Why.... the baby?" I asked, my voice shaky.

Dr. Gonzalez took a deep breath and removed his glasses to rub his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose. I had seen Edward do that numerous times in an effort to gather his thoughts and prepare himself before explaining something that he was struggling with. I assumed it was the same thing Dr. Gonzalez was doing at the moment.

"Bella, by the time you arrived at the hospital, and with the amount of blood volume loss due to the rupture, you, as well as the baby, were barely hanging on, and sadly we were unable to save her. There was nothing that we could do and she was lost before we could get you to surgery. The additional complications of her being premature stacked too many factors against any possibility of survival. I have so many times wished there was something more I could have done, and I am so very sorry I was unable to do so."

There was no fighting the sob that ripped from my chest and Edward pulled me into him, whispering soothing words into my hair. I couldn't help the overwhelming sadness that gripped my heart; it was like reliving the day all over again, only this time I didn't have the luxury of being numb with medication.

"So, the hysterectomy was necessary to save Bella's life, but there was no damage to other organs, correct?" Edward asked, speaking for the first time since Dr. Gonzalez began his explanations. "What....what about..." Edward's voice trailed off, thick with emotion as he tried to formulate the very question that brought us here.

"Yes, that is correct. But you are wondering about Bella's ovaries, yes?" Dr. Gonzalez asked.

"Yes, sir."

"No, the ovaries were not damaged and they were not removed along with the uterus. There were other adhesion's noted and treated at the time of the hysterectomy, but the overall health of the ovaries was within normal limits."

"So...you....Bella still has her ovaries? She can...we can...." Edward stammered as we both tried to comprehend what Dr. Gonzalez had just told us.

My ovaries were not damaged? They were still intact and healthy?

I sat up straight, pulling away slightly from Edward and looking directly into Dr. Gonzalez's warm dark eyes as he nodded and smiled for the first time since beginning this discussion.

"Wait....I don't understand.....Dr. Gonzalez, you told me it was a miracle I got pregnant at all." I looked between Edward and Dr. Gonzalez in complete confusion, hoping someone would explain what the hell he was saying, because I was pretty sure I needed someone to say it out loud so I could be absolutely positive I understood.

"The fact that you were able to become pregnant through conventional means was a miracle, yes. Not that you were able to become pregnant, Bella. With the amount of damage to your fallopian tubes, I was sure that we would go through many rounds of infertility treatments and probably in-vitro fertilization to get a baby for you. Up to that day, your pregnancy developed surprisingly normally. You continue to have the ability to produce children, it's just no longer possible for this to happen conventionally, but through a surrogate? Yes."

I felt my jaw come unhinged and my heart stutter to a stop as his words hit me.

I can still have children.....Edward and I can have children?

The words were like an ice bucket to raw nerves as they tumbled over and over inside my head. I felt the world around me darken and go black.

EPOV

The words that we had been waiting to hear for weeks....months really, were finally spoken. I was in complete shock. The one thing I wanted for Bella, for me, for us as a couple, was finally a reality and I couldn't move.

I turned to look at Bella and she sat stiffly in the chair still holding my hand.

"Bella?" I asked, watching as all the color washed from her face and she fell forward from her chair.

"Bella!" I moved as quickly as possible, catching her just before she hit the floor, and swept her into my arms.

"Quickly, bring her here," Dr. Gonzalez said as he led me to a room with a reclining leather chair.

Looking around the room quickly, I realized it must be the area the phlebotomist used to draw blood. I laid Bella down in the chair, moving to the side and trying to stay out of the way, but there was no way I was leaving her completely.

"Bella....Bella, baby, wake up." I took her hand in mine, kissing her palm. I knelt by her head stroking her hair.

Connie entered the room right behind Dr. Gonzalez. She released some lever on the back and the chair reclined, putting Bella's feet above her head, and Dr. Gonzalez broke a smelling salts packet under her nose.

The smell of ammonia was enough to make my eyes water and I released the breath I had been holding as I saw Bella's lids begin to flutter.

"That's it, baby, wake up," I whispered, stroking her hair.

"Edward..." Bella said in barely a whisper, her eyes slowly fluttering open.

"Hey, there," I smiled at her and caressed her cheek. "You scared me, sweetheart."

"Ah, there she is," Dr. Gonzalez said enthusiastically, smiling at Bella and me.

Dr. Gonzalez seemed to care for Bella as though she were his daughter more than his patient, and it made me smile that Bella had this man as her doctor.

"Oh, God.....did I pass out?" Bella's eyes widened as the realization hit her.

"Yeah, baby, you did," I said, bending to press a kiss to her forehead.

I took a deep breath before pulling away and looking into Bella's eyes. I could see the embarrassment shining there as well as a sadness I had not seen in quite some time. The embarrassment didn't surprise me; I knew Bella would be mortified about passing out, but the sadness scared me a little.

I understood so much more now about why Bella just accepted the fact she could not have children. She never believed she could have them in the first place, so losing a child that she hadn't thought possible was more devastating that I could comprehend.

Connie brought Bella some juice and took her vitals. Dr. Gonzalez assessed her one more time before allowing us to finally leave the office half an hour later, after answering a few more questions I had.

Bella was quiet on the ride home, though each time I asked she would turn to smile and assure me she was fine before turning to stare out the window once again.

I brought Bella's hand to my lips, hoping to remind her I was here and that I wasn't going anywhere.

"Bella, baby, I think we-"

"Edward, I know," she cut me off. "I know and I promise we'll talk about this.....I just need a little bit, okay?"

I released a breath and should have found comfort in the fact that Bella was at least acknowledging the need to talk, but the flatness of her reply along with the way she continued to stare out the window without looking at me sent a cold chill down my spine.

I knew that Bella needed time to process what we found out today, but in all honesty this reaction was the one I feared the most. The fear of how easily we could slip back into old habits, and not talking about this sat heavily on my heart. Bella needed time to absorb all the information we received, and I would give her that; I could be patient for the time being. I nodded my head and kept my thoughts to myself for now...

I couldn't deny the unbelievable elation I felt knowing we would indeed be able to have a child one day, and it hit me square in the chest like a wrecking ball that we really could have a baby one day.

We didn't speak for a long moment; the only sound within the car was that of the music from the radio until I heard Bella sniffle and caught her wiping at her face. I squeezed her hand as I continued to hold it in my lap. It broke my heart to see her hurting like this and not being able to take it away, but I was helpless if she wouldn't talk to me.

I flinched when Bella spoke, breaking the silence.

"Can you turn here?"

"Um...yeah," glancing at Bella from the corner of my eye, I felt my brow crease with confusion. "I....where are we going, Bella?" I asked as I made the turn onto the little dirt road.

Somewhere in my mind, a familiarity rang as I took in the landscape, but I didn't quite remember why I knew where we were headed or why she would want to go down this dirt back road.

"I just need to..." she said, trailing off as she turned looking up at me as a tear rolled down her face. "You'll see....I just-" her words cut off as she turned back toward the road, wiping the tear away with the back of her hand, shaking her head.

I followed her gaze and my heart jumped into my throat as the tiny white church came into view. Instantly I knew where we were. Suddenly I was very much aware of the reason we would be going to the church where Bella's family had attended for a hundred years. I swallowed and glanced at Bella quickly, unsure if I was ready for what Bella needed from me at this moment.

"Bella...." I murmured, gently tightening my hold on her hand and looking at her for confirmation.

She turned to look at me and nodded her head, silently answering my unspoken question about her reasons for wanting to come here now.

I put the car in park, cut the engine, and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly before turning to look at Bella. She sat silently, staring over the church yard with a look I couldn't decipher on her face.

"Be-" I stopped as she suddenly opened her door and was out of the car, walking toward the church.

I exited the car and quickly caught up with her, taking her hand in mine and squeezing slightly to gain her attention. Bella turned to smile warily at me and squeezed my hand, but didn't say anything as we continued toward the cemetery located behind the little country church. My heart thundered in my chest, knowing that my initial suspicions were right as we made our way through the headstones marking the places where so many of Bella's ancestors were laid to rest.

I heard a whimper escape Bella's lips and her hand covered her mouth as we reached an area near the back of the cemetery. I followed her gaze to see a white marble bench situated beside a diminutive granite headstone with a tiny resting lamb carved from the stone and the name Carlie Anne Crowley etched in the face.

Wrapping my arm around Bella, I felt her knees give. I scooped her up and sat on the bench, placing her in my lap.

"Oh, God, Bella.....shhh....baby, please.....I'm here, baby, I'm so sorry, shhh," I whispered in her ear. Placing a hand on her head, I held her to me as she sank into my arms and cried.

I tried to sooth her as best I could, but it was useless as there was no stopping the traitorous tear that fell down my own cheek as I held her in my arms. I stroked a hand over her hair and down her back over and over as I held her face to my chest, whispering my love for her until she calmed.

"I'm sorry, I'm such a basket case....I'm sorry everything is so difficult and complicated all the time....I just-"

"Bella, stop. It's okay, what we found out was a shock. Hell, I'm pretty much still speechless, myself."

"Edward," she sighed, shaking her head, and I quirked an eyebrow at her in question. "I didn't think I would ever have a child. Ever. I've had more laparoscopic procedures and DNC's and.....you name it, I've had it over the last several years. I thought I couldn't have children at all .......and then by some miracle I got pregnant," her breath hitched and she wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath as she turned to look at Carlie's grave.

"I...when I found out...I thought it was divine intervention. I had prayed so many times, so hard for just the chance....and well, there I was pregnant and it was just beyond all comprehension. And then just as quickly....." her voice broke and she closed her eyes, shaking her head as if trying to clear the images that were running through her mind.

I swallowed the lump in my own throat as a single tear leaked from the corner of her eye and without thought I reached up to wipe it away with my thumb, cupping her cheek. I pressed my lips to her forehead, and as I pulled away, Bella opened her eyes and smiled sadly before continuing.

"It was all gone, Edward. She was just gone, everything was gone.....I couldn't...and now," she buried her face in my chest once again, snaking her arms around my waist and I tightened my hold on her.

"Bella, honey, it's okay.....it's going to be okay."

We sat at the cemetery for a long while; Bella eventually removed herself from my lap and knelt, pulling any of the stray weeds that were growing around Carlie's grave. Bella told me that she actually came every week to replace the flowers with fresh and I had no idea. My heart ached a little at the thought that Bella had kept those visits from me, but I fought to understand her reasoning. This was her child's final resting place; it was sacred to her, and until recently Bella had been unable to open up to anyone about what happened to her.

Once Bella was satisfied that every offending weed was removed and the headstone was clean, she stood and reached for my hand. I wrapped my arm around her waist as we made our way back to the car in silence.

Bella was quiet all through dinner. We made small talk about nothing in particular, but there were long periods of heavy silence. Bella pushed her food around more than ate anything.

"I'm going to take a bath, okay," she called, putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher before she made her way out of the kitchen and down the hall, not waiting for a response.

I grabbed a beer from the fridge and released a heavy sigh. I knew Bella needed some time, and I would give her that, but I couldn't help feeling lost in how to help her through what she was feeling right now.

Sitting down in my chair, I flipped absently through several channels without paying any attention to what was on before turning it off and staring at the blank screen.

My cell phone began vibrating and I fished it out of my pocket, flipping it open without even checking the ID.

"Hello?"

"Oh my gosh, Edward, finally! I have been on pins and needles all day, why didn't you call me as soon as the appointment was over? I've been completely beside myself. Really? It's pretty inconsiderate of you, ya know. Not to let us know anything at all and I-"

"Alice," I growled, really not in the mood at the moment for my overly excited and nosy as hell sister. "Give it a rest and take a breath, for Pete's sake. I haven't exactly been up to calling anyone, okay?"

"Oh, um....I'm gonna take that as it didn't really go as well as you were hoping. I'm sorry, Edward. I really thought that you guys would get good news. I'm so sorry," Alice said quietly, much more subdued and sounding as if she was on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry, I just.....we did get good news, Alice," I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"Uh....okay. If you got good news, why do you sound so upset? Is Bella okay?" Alice asked, confusion clear in her voice.

"I don't know, Alice. She's taking a bath at the moment, she's having a hard time right now....The appointment went well overall and it was good news. We..." I paused taking another deep breath, running a hand through my hair over and over. "We visited Carlie's grave...."

I heard Alice's gasp, and when she spoke I could hear the tears in her voice.

"Oh, God, Edward....are you okay? I know that had to be incredibly hard for you. Bella goes out there pretty often, doesn't she?" she asked.

"Yeah, she does....I had no idea she was doing that." I sighed heavily and scrubbed a hand over my face, suddenly feeling extremely tired. "Listen, I know you and the rest of the family are anxious to hear about what happened today, but....honestly, Bella and I need to just digest everything before we say anything. Okay? I'm sorry, can you understand that though? Please?" I asked, hoping that my sister would know I wasn't up to spelling out all the details from the day at the moment.

"Well...." Alice hesitated and I knew how hard it was for her to let this go for the time being. "Yeah, Edward, I can understand that. I'm holding onto the fact that you said it was good news, but I'll let it be.....for now. Just don't make me wait long. Give Bella a hug for me, k?"

I chuckled, but made my promise that she would be the first person I called and we said our goodbyes. Deciding to go check on Bella, I finished off my beer and tossed the bottle in the trash on my way to our room.

Standing outside the bathroom door, I hesitated, contemplating my next move. I ached to just go to Bella and make sure she was okay and that desire was at war with trying to give Bella a little more time.

The decision was made for me when I heard what sounded like Bella sobbing inside the room. I was through the door and in the tub, wrapping her in my arms, before I could even think about my actions or her reaction to them. I held her close to me for a long moment before she whispered into my chest.

"Edward?"

"Yes, baby."

"Um..." she paused and sighed without raising her head. For a moment I thought I heard her giggle, but couldn't be sure. "Do you realize you're in the tub fully clothed?"

I snorted, "Uh, yeah....I realized that about thirty seconds after I jumped in, but that wasn't real high on the priority list at the time."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Bella...baby, what are you sorry for? That my clothes are soaked? Really?" I craned my neck to try to see her face without releasing my hold on her at all, knowing full well that she wasn't talking about my clothes, but I wanted to break some of the tension at the moment.

"No..."

"Bella, please talk to me. I can't...I'm going crazy not knowing what you're thinking," I whispered into her neck.

She turned in my arms, straddling my thighs and folding her arms between us, she leaned into my chest. I held her for a long moment before she pulled back to look at me. I could see her eyes were shining with tears, but she smiled and my heart skipped a beat.

"Edward," she sighed, framing my face with her small hands. I tightened my arms, running my hands up the bare skin of her back, flattening my palms and holding her closer to me.

"I'm sorry that I've been kind of nuts today," she paused, looking into my eyes as she caressed my cheeks with her thumbs. "Love me, Edward. I need you, so much," she begged, running her fingers through my hair as she moved to press her lips to mine in a slow, gentle kiss.

"Bella..." I moaned into her mouth as she parted her lips, deepening our kiss.

There were so many emotions poured into that one kiss that, for a moment I hesitated, questioning whether taking her in her current state was the best idea. Even though my dick was screaming at my brain to shut the hell up and make love to the woman, I still hesitated. As much as I would like to think I'm stronger than my baser instincts, Bella's next words made the decision for me, and just like entering the room I had no further thought.

"Please," she said, pulling away slightly and looking into my eyes. "I know.....but I just need you to love me tonight."

I couldn't deny her ever, and if what she needed at that moment was for me to show her my love for her in this way, to hold her, to make love to her, then I damn sure wasn't going to argue. I stood with her wrapped around my waist and carefully stepped out of the tub.

Laying Bella down on the bed, I kissed her softly before pulling away to strip out of my wet clothes.

"Bella, baby....I love you," I whispered softly against her lips, as I stretched out alongside her body.

"I love you, too, Edward," she sighed, wrapping her arms around my neck and threading her fingers in my hair, pulling me into a gentle kiss.

I rolled to settle between her thighs and there was no more need for words, for now we allowed our bodies to express what we needed from the other. As I entered her, our mutual groans of pleasure were the only sounds, our desire to connect and ground one another, reminding each other that regardless of what got thrown at us, we were always going to be here, together.

~*~

Waking the next morning, I rolled over and reached to Bella's side of the bed only to find it empty. My eyes flashed open and I sat up quickly, scanning the room.

"Bella?" I called, noting there was no light on in the bathroom.

It was still early, the sun just peaking over the horizon and throwing purple hues throughout the room. Bella was always an early riser, but I didn't expect her to be out of bed this early. I listened for sounds of her within the house as the list of places she could be ran through my head. I felt my brow crease when I didn't hear movement anywhere inside the house.

Throwing the covers off my body, I slid on a pair of pajama pants and padded out of the bedroom. I peeked in the office and music room, nothing. I fought back the panic building in my chest when she wasn't in the kitchen like I expected. She was no where to be found.

I turned to grab my cell phone from the counter, intending to call her thinking maybe she had gone to the barn, when something caught my eye through the window. I was just able to make out her tiny figure in the gaining light, standing under the oak tree, watching the sun rise.

I walked back to the bedroom to grab a shirt and paused at the door to slide on my boots before making my way through the back yard. I stopped a few feet from her, my heart clenched at the sight of her standing there, alone, hugging what looked like a baby's quilt around her shoulders.

"Good morning."

The sound of her voice suddenly breaking the silence made me jump. Recovering quickly, I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her middle, pulling her back into my chest.

I bent to place a kiss to her shoulder, then her neck, before whispering, "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, Edward."

"Bella, please tell me what you're thinking."

"Edward, I'm so sorry about yesterday....but I want you to know I could not be happier about what we know now......I guess I was in shock and I'm sorry, I just-"

"Bella, baby, don't apologize for being shocked over what we found out," I smiled and tightened my hold on her. "I just want you to know that I'm here and that you can talk to me, always. Okay?"

Bella turned to face me, snaking her arms around my waist and smiling up at me. "I know, and...that's kind of what I was standing out here thinking about.......our future and how different it is now than it was yesterday."

"I like the sound of that," I smiled and brushed my lips over hers.

"What?"

"Our future. It has a really nice ring to it."

Bella snickered and buried her face in my chest, "I love you so much, Edward...."


E/N: Okie dokie there it is the doctor's appointment....Many of you have expressed how nervous you all were for this chapter, hopefully you enjoyed it.

Okay I haven't done a rec for a story in quite a long time but there is a story that Jessica1971 put me on to and I just have to tell you it's captured me totally. The premise is something very different. I have not read any other fic similar to it and the writing is phenomenal. So go check it out, it's called.....Spirit to Flesh by LittleWing2 the link is in my fav's.

Thanks again to all you guys, you are the best....xoxoxoxoxoxo