June 16, 1944
A heady warmth spread gentle hands across Czechoslovakia, bringing a horn of plenty in the form of overwhelming resupply as the Howling Commandos made a wide sweep around Western Europe. Trucks trundled along full near to bursting with ammunition, food, and best of all: medical supplies. Alice and Gloria happily rode in their truck with feet dangling off the back, given that there was no more room in the truck to fit so much as an extra gauze square.
Alice was hesitant to accept the plenty as permanent, and in the longer daylight hours made the time to forage for plants, as was her habit. She made sure to check in with the watch as she left camp, and promised to return before dark.
Grain followed Alice like a large and loyal guard dog, his silver head ducking down occasionally to enjoy the easy meal her foraging presented. Alice snickered anytime he lifted his head and his ears were dusted with pollen like some strange bumblebee.
Following not long after, to absolutely no one's surprise, Bucky would usually wander out of camp with his hands in his pockets and his rifle slung over his shoulder. He could give any reason imaginable for leaving camp more recently he had opted for a simpler and more honest 'gotta keep an eye on Alice; she might plant herself by accident'. The watch would laugh, agree, and send him along.
She wasn't hard to find; choose the nearest field of wild plants and look for a big silver horse wandering around looking a little nervous. The horse may have looked nervous, but his small companion was quite the opposite, as was evident when she stood up in the tall grass and waved to Bucky.
Alice looked like a different person in the field. Her arms were full of big, flowery fronds, all dusting her arms with pollen. She glowed nearly golden in the light. Her shirtsleeves were rolled up in a crisp fold above her elbows, but in an interesting contrast she hadn't curled her hair. It flowed over her shoulders in wild waves and spirals, as untamed as the field around her.
A glitter of brass caught the light as she waved; the rifle round dangling free over her shirt whispering promises of sunshine and warmth. Bucky felt a similar comforting warmth settle deep in his chest at the sight of it. "Hey, doll," Bucky asked, plucking at a stem of goldenrod. "Is this the color of a California Sunset?" He knew it wasn't, but he enjoyed the twist of her lips as she restrained a sharp rebuke in favor of a 'not quite'.
He sank into a comfortable sitting position next to Alice as she pulled a collection of plants into her lap, easing them from the earth with practiced ease. The low afternoon light cast a warm glow in the field, giving the atmosphere a dreamy feel.
"What's this one for?" Bucky asked, helping Alice pull stems from the ground.
"This is Yarrow," she explained, pulling the leaves from the stem with care. "It's good for stopping bleeding, but it's also good for clearing blood clots."
"Bonne médicine," Bucky added.
"Good medicine?" Alice asked, and he nodded, plucking a strand of grass and sticking it in his mouth. It waved in the breeze that rushed through the field with a lazy hand.
She slipped her hands around a stem that looked like a poorly-drawn daisy. "This is feverfew," she started.
"Good for fevers," Bucky continued. "And headaches."
"Very good," Alice praised. "You remembered."
"Course I did," Bucky added. "You wrote it down and everything."
"Bien sûr," Alice smirked. Of course.
"Very good," Bucky parroted. "You remembered."
Alice's eyes flashed in the way that said she had a vicious comeback ready. "Lucky thing, too - you didn't write it down."
"I'm hurt, doll." He clutched at his chest. "Really; I think I might just fall down and die without a sweet dish helping me out." Bucky flopped backwards, the tall grasses folding underneath and around him, making a canopy of green and yellow.
"Get bent, Bucky," Alice replied, and she seemed irritated by his overt flirting. Bucky wasn't sure what 'get bent' meant, but he didn't think it was a compliment.
Bucky lifted up onto his elbows as Alice focused again on the herbs in her lap.
He played a little with the grasses under his hands, tearing long leaves into little pieces. He had been flirting on purpose to test a theory and was disappointed to find he was right. While Alice returned light banter and teasing easily, her humor completely died in the face of real flirting. "Doll," Bucky asked, twirling the stem nervously between his fingers. "Why don't you ever go on dates?"
Alice paused only briefly, her face twisting into a scowl. "If this is the beginning of some joke at my expense, I don't appreciate it."
"I'm serious; why don't you ever just have some fun?" He sat up, pushing grasses out of his face. He was within arms-reach of Alice and a few of the plants in her lap tickled his knees as he crossed his legs.
"I'm too busy to have fun. Besides," she tried to smile at him and it didn't meet her eyes, "between you and Dum Dum I have all the company a girl could ever ask for."
"Alice," Bucky pressed, reaching out and taking slight hold of the rifle round around her neck. He tugged on it gently her attention. "Have dinner with me."
"No," she replied, pulling the round out of his hand and refusing to look at him.
"Why not?" He wasn't angry, just confused. Alice returned much of his playful conversation, and they spent a whole lot of time together. By all the signs he could see, she should have said yes.
"Because…" she searched for the right phrase, pulling too roughly at some leaves and they tore in her hand. She swore, and tried again, "Because it's not fair."
"What's not fair?"
"All of this!" She yelled, throwing away the torn leaves. "After… after all of this is over, I'm never going to see you again, and I don't want to think about that."
"What are you talking about, doll? Of course you will."
Alice tugged at the rifle round, anxiety evident on her face. "No, I won't. You'll…" she trailed off, and something in her expression broke. "You'll go back to New York a hero, have your pick of easy, low-maintenance wives, and live sprout a kid or two within the year." Bucky laughed, and Alice threw a handful of roots at him. "Don't laugh at me; I'm serious!"
She wasn't too far off from his original idea of how the war would end for him. A girl on each arm and a medal on his chest; that had been the goal. Plans change. "You really think I'd just forget about you? Leave just like that?" Bucky snapped his fingers. Off at the There's end of the field, Grani raised his head out of the wild grasses, his ears flicking in interest.
Alice looked at him, and she looked tired. Maybe it was the lengthening afternoon shadows as the glow of sunset yielded to twilight, or maybe she was casting her own shadows, but Alice's eyes carried a deep grief beyond words. The barest hint of purple dusted the hollow under her eyes as a signal of her sleepless nights, as did her unkempt hair.
As he tried to lean closer, for comfort, for reassurance, Alice looked away. The dying sun cast new light on her face and the shadows were gone. "We should get back."
He got it.
He got it.
Alice didn't want to care. He didn't know why, and he sure as shit was going to find out, but Alice didn't want to care about anybody past some distant line she'd drawn in the sand. It hurt her to think about it, and he didn't know why. Thinking about it caused her immeasurable grief, and he didn't know why. She was alone on purpose, and he needed to know why.
"Hey," Bucky barked as his mouth moved faster than his brain, "I don't care if you don't think you're fun, or if you worry too much, or if you think I'm gonna forget about you." He shrugged his shoulders, grinning easily. "I don't care."
The last of the sun slipped over Alice's shoulder and sniffed out the golden glow. "Okay," she whispered.
Alice looked frightened of what he might say next. He wanted to press the issue; to make her see that she was… she was what? Wanted? Needed? Alice had made it fairly clear that she held her beliefs close to her chest, making it all but impossible to change her mind. She could save a thousand souls - and probably already had - and still think that she wasn't important.
But maybe it wasn't his place to forcefully change her mind. Maybe it was his duty to simply… be there. To remind her little by little that she was valued and held in high esteem by those who - he cut off his own thought as his brain tripped over an unfamiliar sentiment. She was well-liked and treasured as irreplaceable, he determined as his brain re-started.
He liked being with Alice. Walking with her through the wild fields of Europe quieted the demons raging in his brain, and calmed his restless heart. Her voice could find him in the darkness, reminding him to breathe, reminding him to breathe, reminding him to breathe.
So what did it say about him that he couldn't put that in words she would understand? He wasn't a man of poetry; any flowery sentiments that blossomed in his brain shriveled out of reach as soon as he tried to harvest them for good use. He was himself; a man of action, a man of charm and light dancing feet. He wasn't sure if that was what Alice needed. He wasn't sure if he was what she even wanted.
But I'm gonna find out, he resolved.
"Okay," he replied. "Now we can go back."
Alice looked relieved. She nodded, scooping up her satchel gently so as to avoid losing any harvested flowers or leaves. She whistled for Grani with a different kind of trill - softer, more birdlike - and he lifted his head a dozen or so yards away, a loop of ivy caught in his mane flopping over his face.
"That horse is pretty dumb for how smart he is," Bucky commented, taking the satchel from Alice without comment.
"Oh stop," Alice swatted his arm, "he's my favorite."
"I thought I was your favorite?" Bucky asked, making a comically defeated face.
"Third, maybe fourth on a good day."
"What if I shoot Dugan?"
"Then you drop to sixth for poor sportsmanship - what is wrong with you?"
"Not enough attention as a kid."
"Dropped on your head is more likely."
Grani shouldered Bucky out of the way to nip at Alice's shoulder and he stumbled to keep his footing. Alice laughed, patting the horse's nose. "I think he heard you."
Bucky let the horse take Alice's attention for a few minutes and just enjoyed seeing her relax again. She always seemed so tense; the air around her humming with frustration and an anxious energy. In the fields of plants, she was relaxed. With Grani, like the nights he had watched her train him, she was relaxed. And sometimes, he thought to himself, with me, she's relaxed.
The corners of his mouth lifted slowly into a smile, and the heat in his chest settled into deep, warm coals.
June 30, 1944
0200 Hours
Alice tugged at a knot with her teeth to firmly secure a bundle of Plaintain leaves, having hours before stripped her fingernails down to nearly nothing. Even with the recent resupply she was hanging bundle after bundle of herbs to dry as she began hoarding for winter and the plunge deeper into Latvia and Lithuania. Assuming today's mission goes as planned, she thought.
The concern always lingered in the back of Alice's mind that, simply by being present, she would change the course of history so irrevocably that the Allies might even lose the war. She was more concerned that her friends would die, but the other worry was present.
"Lieutenant?" a voice called in the dark, interrupting her train of thought.
"They're back?" She replied, cleaning her hands on her trousers and turning to face the soldier.
"Yes ma'am," he nodded, his helmet bobbing backwards and forwards.
Alice jumped down from the bed of the truck, grabbing her satchel and looping the strap over her shoulder. "They're setting the tent up?"
"Just now, ma'am," he confirmed.
"Anything serious?" Alice asked,
"Not that I heard." She didn't have to run, then.
The crowd collected around the hastily erected tent was in good spirits, chatting and cheering among themselves as Alice approached. "Four down, two to go!" Jones cried, pumping his fist in the air.
"Come on in, I'm just setting up," Alice beckoned.
"Three- we still don't know where that last factory is located as of yet," Falsworth corrected, rotating his shoulder stiffly as he entered the tent.
"Way to ruin the mood," Jones sighed. "Who throws an entire bandolier of grenades, anyway?"
Alice head snapped to Jones. "I'm sorry, what?"
"If you had seen the tank coming through the town, you would understand." Falsworth answered. "However, I nearly threw my shoulder out."
"I'll give it a look in a moment - or would you prefer Gloria?" Alice asked with a smirk.
Falsworth's ears pinked at the suggestion. "Whoever is available first will be fine."
"Mhmm," Alice winked conspiratorially. "I'll make sure she's awake, Monty."
"Much obliged," Falsworth thanked her, pinking across his cheeks.
Alice ducked around some loose canvas to exit the tent, nearly running over Dernier in the process. "Des blessures?" Alice asked Dernier, catching his arm to avoid stumbling.
"Non, madame," he replied, patting her hand with a smile. "Vous ave des feuilles dans vos cheveux."
Alice blinked, trying to keep up but only catching every fifth word or so. "What?" she asked.
"Vos cheveux," he pointed at his head, then Alice's. "Feuilles."
Alice let go of Dernier's arm and patted her head, finding a few crunchy remnants of leaves lingering in her hair. "Oh - merci, Dernier," she thanked as she pulled the pieces out of her hair and letting them float to the ground.
She was still finding bits in her hair as she approached the nurse's truck and the lean-to style tent she and Gloria called home. "Glo," she called softly. "Gloria."
"Mmmmmmmwhassgoinon?" Came the mumbled reply.
"Falsworth needs to take his shirt off for you," Alice replied cheekily.
"Is it Christmas already?" Gloria already sounded more awake, and there came the distinct sound of hair clips being released.
"A couple of months early never hurt anybody," Alice replied. "I'll tell him you'll be along in a few minutes."
"Bless you, honey. I'll make sure to always wake you up for Bucky," Gloria promised.
"Oh - that's not necessary," Alice defended quickly. "It's not like that."
"Oh, silly me - of course not." Alice could almost hear Gloria's eyes rolling.
"Don't take an age getting pretty," Alice warned, and returned to her kept her at a moderate level of activity for most of the night, checking for concussions, treating strains and a few minor grazes. Overall, it seemed Czechoslovakia had been kind to the Holing Commandos. The barest hunts of dawn tinged the horizon as she sent away her last patient and began to tidy the tent once more.
"All quiet again?" Dum Dum asked, knocking on a tent post to get her attention.
"Generally a quiet night," Alice replied.
Dum Dum set a hand on her head as she passed by. "Who finally told you there were leaves in your hair and ruined our fun?"
Alice brushed his hand off. "Dernier- you're an ass."
He grinned. "Best breed there is."
"That wasn't a compliment!" Alice retorted.
"What's that?" Dum Dum asked, cupping a hand around his ear and turning away from Alice. "The President wants to give me an award for outstanding heroism?" He turned back to Alice. "Well you heard the man; I've got to go."
"I think you might've had a stroke if you heard that."
"What's that? Two awards for bravery?" He called out, a hand over his heart. "It's too much!" He ducked out of the tent, passing Morita on his way in.
"You're too much!" Alice called after him, shaking her head in disbelief.
"You getting some breakfast with us, L.T.? We saved you some coffee." Moria asked, nodding back towards the mess tent.
"No; I should clean up." Alice wasn't enthusiastic about the prospect.
Morita senses this and pushed a little harder, moving to stand between her and the mess. "Aww, come on; it'll still be there after a cup of coffee."
Alice glanced at the scattered supplies, shrugged, and decided not to bother. She shrugged. "Sure, why not?" Morita laughed as she tossed a roll of bandages over her shoulder and it landed perfectly in a basket.
A/N: I love Alice, I really do. Torturing her hurts me, and I felt it was important to shed some light on Bucky's side of her withholding her feelings/affections as a results of that time-travelled-and-now-your-life-is-fucked torture. Alice likes Bucky - a whole lot - but it hurts her to think of being close to him and losing him when he falls from the train.
Next chapter due on or before: January 11
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