Ch 29 Mending Fences
Luke slowly drifted back to reality trying to hold onto the wisps of the dream he'd had, the memory just out of reach. He knew the dream was unsettling but he couldn't remember any details. He felt Lorelai sleeping heavily next to him and he smiled at how she'd told him that perhaps she asked too much of him and that she'd try to give him more space.
He frowned as he remembered her 'confession' of being attracted to Hank. He knew there wasn't anything to it, just hormones, but at the same time he could feel the insecurities that plagued him throughout his life start to grow again. He sighed as he ran his hand over his thinning hair, he'd seen the bags grow deeper under his eyes in the last six weeks as he attended so many funerals and struggled to find a full night's sleep.
He also knew that he had started to develop a thickening around his waist from not opening the diner these days. Since he didn't receive the deliveries and wasn't lifting the heavy boxes he wasn't getting much exercise. Luke knew that the worst part was that he'd shut down once again. When would he learn that he needed to let Lorelai in more? She didn't need to give him more space he needed to learn to respond quicker. He couldn't think about the possibility that his actions would drive her into the arms of another man, but his subconscious seemed to force him into dealing with that thought.
His dream started to float towards him and he saw Hank in a backwards baseball cap, flannel shirt and holding his little girl while smiling down at Lorelai and Rory who were sitting at the counter. Luke was watching through the window at the small family as he was unable to find the door to get inside. Luke pressed on the bridge of his nose fighting off the headache that threatened to take hold of his day.
Lorelai shifted as she began to wake up, moving closer to Luke in her quest to remain in the warmth of slumber. He smiled as she burrowed her nose into the side of his neck. A small shiver ran through him as he contemplated the cost of his 'space.'
Lorelai became acutely aware of Luke's reaction and she interpreted it as a rejection of her need. She started to move away from him but he stilled her by tightening his arm around her.
"Stay. Please," he whispered.
Lorelai relaxed a bit and then remembered it was Tuesday. She sighed as she hugged and released him and she continued to pull apart. "I have class tonight so I have to get to the inn early this morning."
Luke nodded silently and gently kissed her temple as he rubbed her stomach. He felt his daughter kick and he smiled. "Can I make you breakfast before you go?"
Lorelai knew they still needed to deal with the fallout of the previous night but she really didn't want to have a deep conversation this morning. "If the kids are up that would be great, or I can catch something at the inn. Sookie's getting good at making things your daughter allows me to eat."
Luke felt her walls going up and he knew she was stalling. He took a deep breath and jumped in. "Lorelai, I'm an ass and I'd like the chance to make up for the anguish I caused you last night. Please let me make you breakfast. We don't have to discuss anything deeper than what you want to do for Rory's birthday this year. OK?"
Lorelai relaxed, she knew they needed to talk more, but she just wasn't ready and Luke apparently realized this. She smiled at him and ran her fingers gently over the short stubble he had sprouted. "I can't believe it's just a week away. Do you have any ideas for celebrating?"
She smiled up at him as he relaxed and shook his head. He grinned at her wickedly and chuckled. "We could always rent out the square and have pony rides. Isn't that the dream of every little girl?"
Lorelai laughed at the thought. "Well, maybe her mother's dream, but I think Rory is a bit too old for that now. How about having a luau at the inn? We could have a real Hawaiian band and everyone could wear grass skirts?"
Lorelai sat up excited and grinned, "We could have a joint party for you and Rory! Wouldn't that be great?" She clapped her hands together excitedly.
Luke shook his head grinning. "I think a luau for Rory would be great but for me I'd like a small dinner at home with the family; you, me, Rory and Jess. If they could be in the same room without killing each other and we celebrate together, that would be the perfect birthday for me."
Lorelai put her hand on his cheek and smiled. "That sounds just right for you babe. I'll talk to the kids and see if we can't get a truce for the day. Could I get Sookie to cook? I know you like to and I'm not able to do pizza this year so if you don't let me get Sookie, then it'll fall on you but I want you to enjoy the day with us. Oh, we could rent movies and have a marathon!"
"You bet. What ever you want to do as long as it's just the four of us I'll be happy." Luke grinned at his wife who was so excited to throw a party for other people and he knew he was luckier than he ever should be.
They got up, got dressed and headed into the main house to get breakfast ready.
Rory was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee going over her notes for a quiz Mr. Medina was giving. She was determined not to get behind this year. Last year's struggle was difficult enough, although that was when Luke and her mom had gotten together. Wow it was just over a year ago. So much had happened in such a short time. With that thought Jess came around the corner. Rory rolled her eyes and sighed as she gathered up her books.
Jess cleared his throat trying to get the words to come out. He'd been up most of the night trying to figure out what to say to her and he still only had a vague outline. "Rory, please wait."
His voice sounded strange to him, as if it was a stranger's voice. Rory stopped and turned to him, her eyes wary; her stance defiant. He again cleared his throat.
"Rory, I'm sorry. I've behaved like a jackass lately and I know there's no reason for you to forgive me, but I'm asking anyway."
She saw by his eyes that he was indeed sorry and she was tempted to throw his apology back in his face because she'd really been hurt by what he'd done. Instead she decided on making him grovel a bit. "I think jackass is being a bit easy on yourself, don't you?"
Jess chuckled; at least she was talking to him. He nodded, "Luke mentioned that I've been behaving like a prick. For that and all grievous injustices I've done to you, I'm truly sorry."
He saw her eyes light up a bit at his declaration and his heart skipped a beat, maybe she would forgive him. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Luke and I have always seen eye to eye."
Jess smiled for the first time in what felt like years as he slowly nodded his head. "Very discerning judge of character you both have, I've always admired that about you. So do you forgive me?"
Rory sighed deeply and smiled softly. "Jess, I miss my friend. I'm not sure who the prick is that has been inhabiting your body, but if the current version of invasion of the body snatchers is over, I'd like my friend back."
Jess ducked his head and gave a sharp nod reminiscent of Luke, Rory had to smile. "Rory, I need to put my cards on the table at least once before your friend comes back, ok?"
Rory looked confused but gently nodded. Jess took a deep breath.
"Rory, I like you, I was insanely jealous of that prick Huntzberger and I was afraid that you liked that sort of guy better. I'm not that guy and I no matter how much money I'd have I'll never be that guy. But he got to take you out, he got to dance with you, hell he may have even gotten to kiss you and it tore me up inside. I really want us to take a chance, but it means that I'll have to choose between living here or going out with you and believe it or not, that is a really hard choice for me to make. I've never had this family life before Rory, you had your mom, but I've never had this and now I need to decide if I'm willing to risk it all for a shot that we'll be good together and I can't make that decision. I thought I had all the time in the world, but now I realize that you could find 'that guy' while I have to wait. It scars the shit out of me."
Jess had been pacing the kitchen as he ranted and Rory couldn't help but smile at the similarities between Jess and his uncle. When he finally finished he stood staring at Rory with his hands on his hips and she saw his confusion at her smile. She quickly thought about what he'd said and she took a deep breath. Either they would be good after this or she'd really screw things up permanently.
"Jess, first of all, I don't like Logan like that. He was fun and easy to be with because I don't like him. I also didn't kiss him at any point in the time we were together. Second, I like you too, a lot. So much so that I knew that if you took me to the dance I couldn't go back to being friends with you. It's easier to not know how it feels to be held by you then to know and not be able to do it again. I think we both need to date while we're in high school Jess. It's not healthy to wait for each other without knowing what's out there. I've really only gone out with Dean and I don't know who you've dated since that all happened before you came here. But I don't want you to leave us on the chance that you and I become girlfriend and boyfriend. Most people don't marry their high school sweethearts, you know?"
Jess looked shocked at her when she talked about marriage. Rory laughed, "You mean to tell me that you'd leave this family for the chance to casually date me?"
Jess realized that she was right, if he and Rory were to take their chance now, it would mean they were thinking long term and very serious. "Shit."
Rory laughed at his reaction, "Ok, I think I've been dissed."
Jess looked shocked. "No Rory, I mean you're right, I would be risking everything because I'd believe that we'd have a good shot at forever. And I think on some level I really do, I see myself with you long term. I'm just very confused right now."
Rory gently laid her hand over his. "Jess, I could see us being long term too, but not without growing up a little. I really like you and I'm attracted to you more than I should be, but we need to date other people too. Mom and Luke love each other more than anyone I've ever seen, but even they struggle with their relationship at times. How about this? We date other people, but respect the other's feelings? If I start dating a guy you think is really a jerk, tell me and I promise I will take your opinion seriously? In return you won't date the girls that hate me, ok?"
Jess grinned as he looked at the ceiling. He shrugged and looked at Rory. "I'm gonna think all the guys you date are jerks."
Rory matched his smile, "Yeah, but you know there are jerks and then there are REAL jerks. And we both know that Logan fell into the last category."
Jess laughed and shook his head as he stuck his hand out, "Deal."
Rory grinned and grabbed his hand as he pulled her closer. She was shocked as he barely kissed her on the lips before letting her go. She was speechless at the tingle that that chaste kiss left on her mouth. Her hand flew to her lips as he stepped back grinning like a madman.
"Just wanted you to keep that in mind when you kiss all those other guys over the next two years." Jess felt his heart soar as he watched her reaction and he knew he was right, Rory definitely felt the electricity. Thankfully Luke and Lorelai hadn't walked into the kitchen at that moment or he'd be on a plane to some European boarding school in a heartbeat.
"So, friend, you gonna have lunch with me today?" Jess stressed the word as he smiled broadly at her. Rory was still speechless as she nodded at him.
Just then Lorelai and Luke came through the back door and stopped. Lorelai could feel that something had happened but she wasn't sure of just what. Rory snapped her head towards her mother and plastered a smile on her face.
"Gotta go Mom, huge quiz this morning in English." Rory grabbed her books and started out the door. Jess sauntered down the hallway and picked up his books off the table as he grinned at his uncle and aunt. Lorelai was sure something happened, but she had no proof…yet.
"Bye sweets, bye Jess. Have a good day."
Jess smiled back at her and waved. "You know Aunt Lorelai, I think it's gonna be a great day today."
Lorelai watched them go and turned back to Luke. "Ok, who took the kids and replaced them with Stepford pods?"
Luke was also watching with his eyes narrowed, he suspected something had happened and he hoped it wasn't what he thought. He looked at Lorelai and shook his head. "We can only hope that things are gonna get back to normal."
He squeezed her hand as he went to get breakfast ready. They didn't talk about the previous day as they ate, instead they focused on planning Rory's birthday and what Luke was going to want for his dinner.
Later that day Luke came home during the mid afternoon lull. It'd been an awkward morning working with Hank. Luke found himself watching as the older man interacted with the customers, effortlessly delivered the food Luke cooked and offered all of it with a genuinely pleasant demeanor.
Luke decided to go home for a bit and found himself antsy and at sixes and sevens. He went up to his room and put on a pair of sweats along with some sneakers and a t-shirt. He jogged out to the lake behind their house and started to run. He found a path that he followed through the forest and ran for a good half an hour. He slowed up when he felt his lungs ready to give out but his mind still was racing ahead. Doubled over he tried to force air into his lungs. He tried to think of the last time he wasn't able to run for more than a few miles and he shook his head. How had he let himself get so out of shape?
He laughed out loud when he figured out the answer. When Lorelai got pregnant he stopped paying attention to his own eating habits since she was eating healthy he ate what she did. What he forgot was that she ate double what a normal person ate when she wasn't pregnant and now that was even more. He realized that he also had been eating more than he normally would, even though it was healthy food. No wonder he was getting soft, he'd have to start watching the amount of food he ate as well as make time to get a few more runs in.
Able to breath again he started to slowly jog back to the house. He decided to take his time and begin a training schedule the next day. The path he took back to the house wandered past the old Dragonfly. He shook his head at how such a beautiful inn had fallen into disrepair. He stopped and looked at the falling shutters, the drooping porch roof and the shaky stairs. He felt sorry for Fran that she wasn't able to make repairs or deal with the up-keep on the property.
Luke turned back to the path to his house as he slowly jogged back. He was determined to put his own house in order and not let it become the metaphorical Dragonfly. He shook his head at his philosophical bent. When did he become such a wuss? He blamed it on Lorelai and Jess. Lorelai for bringing that emotion to the surface and Jess for all those damn classical novels he read.
Luke forced his mind to the Patriots latest game and how they'd gotten beaten by the Broncos when the previous week they'd creamed the Colts. The rest of the run home was focused on what their chances at the Super Bowl would be that year. When he got home he decided to make Lorelai a dinner she could take with her to school.
He took his shower and prepared her food packing it in to-go containers in case she wanted to eat at the school. He packed everything up and drove out to the inn. Michel was at the desk and Luke mentally rolled his eyes.
"Hey Michel, I need to see Lorelai." Luke started off pleasantly enough. Michel however had had a day from hell and decided to take everyone with him.
"Oh, you need to see Lorelai do you? Of course let me drop everything right now and run off to find her since she is not where she is supposed to be. Let me put all these nice paying guests on hold to run off right now and find Lorelai. Let me not answer the phone of the nice paying guests who want to make reservations so I can run off at this second and find Lorelai."
Luke cut him off. "Forget it Michel. I'll look for her myself."
Michel simpered, "As you wish."
He went back to lazily flipping through the CD catalogue that was on the counter. Luke actually rolled his eyes and saw Lorelai coming from the dinning room. She smiled at him when she saw him across the room.
"Hey you, what a nice surprise." She hugged him and realized that he didn't smell like the diner.
"Didn't you go into work today? You smell like you've just gotten out of the shower." She felt a bit of fear rising in her and worked to squelch it.
Luke smiled gently as he leaned into kiss her. "Yeah, I went home during the afternoon lull and went running. So when I got home I took a shower and made dinner for my favorite wife. I thought you could take this with you if you wanted something to snack on at school. I mean if Sookie has already fed you. I know you didn't get to the diner at lunch and I wanted to make sure you ate."
Lorelai smiled gently at his rambling. Truth was she felt awkward going to the diner after what she'd confessed to Luke about Hank. Sookie had given her lunch along with a look telling her she didn't believe that Lorelai had to study for a test that night. Lorelai leaned in to kiss him again and stop his rambling.
"Thank you for dinner. Sookie did give me lunch, it's been very busy here and I didn't have time to get away."
"Yes, verrrry busy." Michel interjected as he lazily turned another page. "Just what I told him when he asked me to go find you."
Lorelai rolled her eyes as she ushered Luke into her office. "Plus I'm glad to see my hunky husband as a side dish."
She grinned at Luke who cringed slightly. Lorelai saw it and looked at him concerned. "Babe? Are you ok?'
Luke smiled at her a bit embarrassed to talk about his insecurities. "Yeah, I'm great. I just missed seeing you at the diner and I wanted to make sure you were getting fed."
Lorelai rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Fine. I'm glad you're great. I talked to Rory today at lunch and she's great, I'm sure Jess is great. I'm so glad we're all great."
Lorelai started to turn to her desk when Luke caught her hand and pulled her to him. "Lorelai I'm feeling out of shape and old. It's something I'll deal with and I'm sure I'll feel better later but today I tried to run three miles and I struggled to finish one. I'm going to be running more so I'll be feeling better later, but today I just feel old. Ok?'
Lorelai reached her hand out to caress his cheek and smiled at him. "Thank you. I know it's how you feel, but to me you're still my hunky husband and I think you're beautiful."
Luke leaned in to kiss her and held her to him. She continued, "I felt funny going to the diner today because I was embarrassed by my reaction yesterday. I know there isn't any reason to be, and I'll work through it, but I still felt funny."
Luke couldn't think of anything that he thought would make her feel better so he just held her.
Lorelai relaxed into his embrace as she lazily said, "The only justification I see for running is if someone were chasing you."
Luke laughed heartily and squeezed her tighter to him. "I just want to make sure I can keep up with my girls." He kissed her head as they gently swayed in her office.
A/N Sorry for the delay in updates. I have to get back into my own rhythm of writing. Thanks for reading and reviews are always appreciated.
