What's up my beautiful babes! It's been just over a week since my last update, which is still pretty good for me, though I had hoped to update sooner. There are only 3 chapters left after this, which is mad! It's been an incredibly long time coming though, so I'm pushing to have it completed within the next few weeks *crosses fingers*
As always, thank you so much for the support and for continuing to follow this story. To those of you who have reached out privately and offered well wishes, I cannot thank you enough. The love you've all given me is so sweet. I know that it mostly seems that I'm pretty put together online, but in real life, things are still tough and writing this story and engaging with all of you really helps. It's nice to get out of my own mind for a bit, ya know? Anyway, on with the next chapter! Enjoy :)
She felt light, airy almost. As though she were floating. It was a strange feeling, to say the least. She opened her eyes and found herself doused in warm sunlight. Dust particles travelled through the air, glittering in the beams of light that filtered in through the leaves above. The soddy earth beneath her feet was cool in comparison. It was soft beneath her bare feet, almost like sand. She recognised the place, it was more than familiar. It was a special place; A place she only came with-
'I wondered how long it would take you to get here'
She spun on her heels and came face to face with the one person who could always make her heart soar. There in the magical glow of the sunlight, her golden hair cascading down her shoulders, was Alison.
'Alison? Where are we?' Emily asked. She didn't remember coming here. She tried to think of the last thing she remembered, but her mind was completely blank. It was as though someone had come along and magically erased every memory she had.
Alison looked at her with a sympathetic smile. She reached out to take Emily's hands and linked their fingers between them.
'We're in a place we can be free, Em. Just you and me' Alison replied in that oh-so-sweet voice of hers. She was like a siren, singing the most beautiful melody. One fine-tuned just for her.
'The kissing rock?' Emily asked in confusion, as she looked down at the dirty old rock. It was where people came to make out, she knew that much. Alison had told her many years ago that you could hear the ghosts of old lovers. They supposedly urged you to do the deed. Emily had never heard them, but Alison was sure they were there. Now Emily wondered, were they the ghosts? Alison giggled, and it was like the most magical sound.
'We can be wherever you want us to be' she sang in that lilting voice of hers.
'Are we...dead?' Emily voiced her concern. Alison seemed to ponder this idea for a moment before she turned to face Emily face on.
'No. Not yet anyway' Alison reached up and hooked a strand of hair behind Emily's ear. 'You have a choice to make, my love' she tilted her head to the side. Her eyes sparkled in the light, and Emily was sure they had never looked so breath taking.
'What do you mean?' Emily asked unsurely.
'We can stay here, or we can go back. It's up to you' Alison replied simply, shrugging her shoulders as if it were no big deal. Emily looked around. She felt at peace here, surrounded by Alison's love. But she also felt uneasy. Like something didn't belong. Something wasn't right. The air changed around them, the warmth replaced by a cool breeze. A few leaves scattered across the ground, swirling around their legs. Emily's eyes continued to flicker around the now darkened clearing, and that was when she saw it. The shadow in the distance, looming over them.
'Ali... Ali run' she yelled in a panicked tone, as the sight of a very angry Kenneth DiLaurentis appeared behind Alison. 'Ali, get out of here!' she continued, pushing Alison to get her to move, but Alison just stood there looking at her lovingly. Despite her best efforts, Emily couldn't get Alison to move and she couldn't understand why the blonde wouldn't listen to her.
'Ali, he's coming! Go!' Emily shouted again. Her eyes were wide and her breathing was beginning to labour through the fear she felt. She didn't want Alison to come to harm again. She wouldn't let that happen.
'Silly Emily. Don't you know, he's already here' Alison replied in that same sing-song voice. A silly smile remained on her face and her eyes continued to sparkle. Emily watched as Kenneth drew closer. A gnarled, wrinkly hand reached out. It was so close, Emily could see the callouses on his knuckles and the bitten down nails. She looked up into the coldest, most hateful eyes she had ever seen.
'Ali, run' Emily begged. Allison remained stood in the same spot, that same smile and that same loving look on her face. It was as though she were blissfully unaware of the fact that she was in danger. Emily watched in horror as Kenneth reached out and grabbed Alison's hair.
'Ali!' she screamed, as he dragged her away.
'Ali! Come back!' Emily cried. She tried to get to her, but something was holding her back. She reached out, but she couldn't reach her. Emily cried and screamed until the clearing was empty and silent, and the only thing left was the soft sound of a soft, steady beat. It was fast, but strangely soothing.
'What is that!?' she whispered aloud. She looked around for the source of the strange beat, but the clearing was completely empty.
'Emily?' She heard Alison's voice calling in the distance. It was comforting and gentle. She felt something on her cheek. She reached up to touch the spot, but there was nothing there.
'Alison?' she spoke out, but her voice sounded different. She sounded groggy and croaky.
'I'm here baby. I'm right here' Alison replied, her voice still distant and echoing. Then Emily felt a pressure on her lips. She brought her fingers up to touch them, marvelling at how they tingled.
'Come back to me, sweetie' came the voice again, and with more pressure points on her face, followed by tingling sensations, Emily felt herself relax. Her heart slowed and her body felt light again. With Alison's hands touching her, she felt herself slip away into a peaceful darkness.
Alison's thumb stroked back and forth across Emily's cheek. She looked up at the heart monitor that had increased rapidly just moments ago. Alison had been resting by Emily's bedside when the monitor had sped up. She had looked up to see that Emily was visibly in distress, her face contorted in a pained grimace. Emily had mumbled Alison's name a few times, and Alison had jumped up instantly at the sound. She had seen Emily have nightmares before, they were a common affair after the whole Riley fiasco, and so Alison knew instantly what to do. She stroked at Emily's cheeks and peppered her face with kisses until she calmed.
'Is she still in distress?' Pam asked quietly as she entered, two coffee cups in her hands.
'Yeah. She keeps mumbling my name' Alison replied tiredly. It had been the longest day of her life and she was exhausted, but she refused to sleep.
'She knows you're here. She always could sense when you were around' Pam stated in slight amusement. She handed Alison her coffee cup and settled into the chair beside her. They had been sat in those very seats for hours now, neither one of them wanting to leave for more than ten minutes at a time. They knew it was a long shot that Emily would wake up tonight, they had been told that it could be a few days, but neither of them wanted to take the chance. They knew Emily better than anyone, and if anyone would defy the doctor's odds, it was Emily.
'I'm so sorry for what I did to her, Pam' Alison whispered into the silence of the room, the only sound coming from Emily's heart monitor.
'You didn't do anything, Alison. This wasn't your fault' Pam repeated the same words she had said earlier in the day. Alison smiled sadly and sat up a little straighter.
'I still don't believe that I'm not to fault for this, but I was actually talking about when I left' Alison replied. 'I should never have left her like that. I should have gotten in touch with her somehow. Let her know I was ok. I knew what it would do to her, and I did nothing to stop it' Alison's voice grew angrier as she spoke. It was something she hadn't really let herself think of for months now, not since she and Emily had gotten back together. Yet being with Pam in the quietness of the hospital room was giving Alison far too much time to think, and her thoughts were turning hateful and self-destructive.
'Alison, I don't blame you in the slightest for what happened back then, or for what happened tonight' Pam countered. 'I'll admit, when you first came back into Emily's life, I was sceptical, but I didn't know what you had been through, and I didn't see how truly happy Emily is with you. I wouldn't have it any other way, than for you two to be together. It's like you were made for each other' Pam continued wistfully. She reached out and squeezed Alison's hand, her eyes catching the time on the clock on the wall. It was 2am, and Pam knew that Alison would have to leave in two hours to drive to Harrisburg.
'It's late' Pam said simply. Alison nodded and licked her lips.
'I hope she wakes up before I have to go. I don't want her to wake up without me here' she said sadly, knowing that the chances of that were slim to none.
'She'll understand' the older woman replied faintly. Alison responded with a sigh, looking back at Emily on the bed. She wished more than anything that she could stay with her, but Alison knew that she was leaving for the right reasons. She just hoped that she would be able to come back to her, just as she had promised Spencer.
'You should get some rest. It's been a long day' Pam hushed, her hand still resting over Alison's. It was a small comfort for the both of them.
'I'm fine' Alison lied, her eyes not moving from Emily.
'I can wake you if she wakes up' Pam offered, causing Alison to chuckle at how transparent she was being.
'Ok' she whispered, before shifting in her seat. She took her hand back from beneath Pam's, and leaned forwards rest her head on the edge of Emily's bed. Amongst the clinical hospital smell, she could smell Emily, and that combined with the gentle beeps from Emily's heart monitor, eased her into a light sleep.
Pam sat and watched them closely and not for the first time, marvelled at how incredibly in love the two young women were. She had always found it fascinating to watch them, even when they were teenagers. Emily and Alison always seemed to move around each other, like planets orbiting the sun. They moved together as one entity, as though they were magnetised. One moved, the other moved too. One stopped, the other would practically freeze in position to match. It reminded her a lot of Emily's Father. They too, had the type of relationship that moved Heaven and Earth. That was, until Heaven threw a spanner in the works and took him for good. Emily was young when it happened, barely in Middle School at the time, but Alison had been there to hold her hand and wipe away her tears. Emily was devastated at the loss of Wayne, but with Alison by her side she pulled through and continued, growing up to be a happy healthy young woman. Even then, Pam could see that there was something special between the two girls. Of course, she didn't know quite how special their relationship would be. She watched them blossom and grow over the years, and she saw how dangerously close they were.
It didn't surprise her to see the way Emily cracked when Alison went missing. She was shocked when she discovered that her daughter had turned to alcohol to deal with her problems, but more so because she had never noticed her teenage daughter was spiralling out of control. Still, Emily was always very good at hiding her secrets. Pam thought she was going to lose her daughter that first day she found Emily in the E.R getting her stomach pumped. She thought that her daughter had died with Alison DiLaurentis. Pam had lived on edge every day since then, waiting for the news that Emily had drowned herself in liquor. When she didn't hear from Emily for several weeks, she feared the worst had happened, but she told herself that Hanna or Spencer or Aria would call her if that were the case.
The day she heard Alison's voice answer the phone, everything suddenly made sense. To say she was scared would be an understatement. Pam knew that Emily wouldn't handle losing Alison again, and she didn't trust the blonde to stick around. She prayed to Wayne to watch over their baby girl. Begged him to keep her safe. Then, one night, he came to her in a dream. Told her that Emily would be ok now; That he had made sure of that. Then, when Emily started to call more and made more of an effort to keep her in the loop, Pam couldn't deny that maybe Alison being back was for the good. It was like she could see her baby girl coming back to life before her very eyes, after so long living in the slumber she had been trapped in. It was seeing the love that Emily had for Alison, and visa versa, that gave Pam the peace of mind to know that Emily would be ok, because there was no way Emily wouldn't fight through whatever she needed to get back to her girl. With that thought safely in her mind, she finally allowed herself to join the two women in sleep.
'Goooood Morning Pennsylvania! This is Bob, coming atcha with all the hits, ready to get you up and at'em this fine Tuesday morning'
'Ugh' Alison scoffed at the radio, rolling her eyes as she hit the power button on the radio. She was exhausted, having barely slept and she really just wanted to be back with Emily.
'Not a fan of Tuesdays? Or just the radio in general?' Jason asked from the driver's seat, amusement written across his face.
'They're all too chirpy and happy' Alison complained, as she scowled at the now muted radio. In truth, Alison just felt jittery and anxious about seeing the woman who gave birth to her, and then left her for dead just a few years later.
'Missing Emily already?' Jason asked sincerely, though Alison giggled and rolled her eyes at herself.
'You must think I'm pathetic. We've only been on the road for like, and hour and a half, and I'm already pining after her' Alison stated in a semi-joking tone. Jason saw past the self-deprecating comment though, it was a typical Alison move for when she didn't want to talk about her feelings.
'I don't think so' Jason replied with a shrug. 'You're girl's in the hospital, it's natural that you want to be by her side' he said in a serious voice. 'How's she doing, anyway?'
Alison let out a heavy breath and bit down on the corner of her mouth as she thought about what the doctor had said the night before.
'She's having a lot of nightmares. The doctor said that it could be because of the medication that she's on, but it could also be because of the trauma. She mumbles a lot, but they're saying it's not a clear indication that her speech will be ok. They're not really saying much of anything, other than to wait and see' Alison grumbled. She wanted answers; she wanted to know that Emily would be ok. She wanted Emily to wake up.
'It sucks, Al. I'm sorry' Jason replied as his eyes flickered between his sister and the road, unsure of what else he could say.
'How's Aria doing?' Alison asked, wanting to take her mind off her own girlfriend for a few minutes. 'She was pretty shook up last night.'
'Yeah, she's still pretty shaken, but she's dealing. I left her with Spencer and Hanna. Caleb and Toby are watching over them all' Jason answered. Alison hadn't spoken to the girls since she had gone into Emily's room. The rest of the group hadn't been allowed to go in, but they had sent their love and well wishes with Alison. That was the last she heard from any of them, and if she was honest, she hadn't really thought about them all too much until now.
'That's good. They should stick together' Alison answer numbly.
They continued their drive in a peaceful quietness, small chatter passing back and forth between them every now and again. It took longer than either of them thought it would before they talked about the woman they were going to see.
'So what are you going to say to Mom?' Jason asked as they crossed the Pennsylvania state line.
'Honestly, I have no idea' Alison admitted. She was feeling nervous about seeing the woman who had abandoned her all those years ago. Jessica DiLaurentis had never exactly been a reliable person when it came to her children, and Alison didn't want to get her hopes up that she had changed in that respect. 'I guess I'm just hoping that she can offer some sort of support, maybe give a character statement about Dad that could hopefully help back up my own statement'
'And if she can't help?' Jason asked uneasily, because neither of them wanted to think about the worst case scenario.
'Well, I figure if I'm going down for his murder, then I should probably let good old Mommy dearest know that I'm alive and rotting in a cell' Alison replied caustically. It was then that she realised that she still very much resented her Mom for the way she had been in the past.
'You know I could just walk into the station and tell them I did it' Jason offered seriously. 'I mean, it's not exactly a lie. I did finish him off'
'No, you've done enough for me already, Jason' Alison argued. There was no way she was letting her brother go to prison or her crime, even if he did technically finish the job.
'I've not done nearly enough for you, Ali. You and Emily deserve that happy ending you've been dreaming about, and I want to give that to you' Jason countered.
'If Emily were here, she'd be agreeing with me. You're not going to jail. Hopefully neither of us will be' Alison stated with a finality to her voice. She had firmly put her foot down and Jason knew better to argue with her.
'You and Emily really are two of a kind, Al' Jason said wistfully, his eyes flitting from the road to his sister in the passenger seat. 'And I've gotta say, Emily was always cute but man did she glow up. I mean, who'd have thought sweet and innocent Emily Fields would turn into such a hottie?' He gushed with a smirk. If there was anything that could be said for Alison, it was that she had good taste in women, atleast in Jason's eyes.
'Sweet and innocent? Please, Emily has never been sweet and innocent' Alison blurted out with a smirk. Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned red as soon as she realised what she has said.
'Damn, I knew there was a reason you wouldn't let me stay with you two' Jason chuckled in amusement. Normally this would be completely unchartered territory for them, but it was nice seeing Alison so carefree and smiling, despite the situation. 'I mean, it's probably for the best. Aria's not exactly innocent either' he added with a sex-drunk smile, as he thought about his own girlfriend.
'Ew, I do not need that imagery, thank you' Alison replied, her lips puckered up in disgust. Alison turned and looked out of the window. She watched the world flit passed and she thought about Emily. She had always been there, even when they were apart, and Alison didn't want to lose her. She couldn't imagine a world where Emily's positivity didn't make even the darkest of days shine just that little bit brighter. Even when they were kids, Emily seemed to have this magical ability to turn everything right in the world. Alison smiled as she remembered a time when they were both just Nine years old…
'Ali, come look!' Emily called from a few feet away. Alison looked over to see that the other girl was crouched down beside a tree, her long dark curls falling over her face as she looked down at something on the ground. Alison rushed over and peered curiously around the other girl. There in the long weeds that surrounded the tree, was a tiny baby bird.
'I think he fell out of his nest' Emily said sadly, her lips pouting as she looked down at the dainty thing.
'Maybe' Alison replied dumbly. She had never had an interest in birds, or nature of any kind really, but seeing Emily so fascinated with the bird, made Alison want to have an interest. 'Do you think we could put him back?' Alison suggested, as Emily reached out to stroke the bird with one finger. The bird flinched away and Emily pulled her hand back instantly.
'I think he's hurt' she replied glumly. 'We need to help him'
'Ok, we can ask my Mom for help. She'll know what to do' Alison stated confidently. Emily wanted to help the bird, so Alison would make sure that was possible.
Alison reached over and delicately scooped the tiny bird into her hands. She made sure to be as careful as possible with him as she carried him from the back yard, into her house. Emily followed diligently. She wasn't certain that Alison's Mom was the best person to help in this situation, but she trusted Alison, and if the blonde girl said that it was the right thing to do, then that was what they would do.
'Mom, we found a bird and he's hurt' Alison announced when they reached the sitting room, not caring to take note of the four other women who were sat there, their perfectly manicured pinkies sticking out as they held their tiny tea cups. Emily always thought it was odd, the way they held those cups in the exact same way. Jessica DiLaurentis' friends acted like robots, it was creepy.
'Take that thing outside, Alison. Birds do not belong in the house' Jessica snapped. Alison's eyes widened and her cheeks flamed in embarrassment. She wanted to help Emily, she had been so confident, and her Mother had shattered her bravado in seconds. She wanted to cry.
Emily barely blinked at the older DiLaurentis' outburst. She was more focused on the hurt expression on Alison's face to even be fazed by Jessica's shouting. She grabbed Alison by the elbow and led her towards the front door of the house.
'C'mon Ali, we can take the bird to my house. My Dad will help us fix him' she proposed, trying her best to appease Alison. The other girl simply nodded and allowed Emily to lead her out of the DiLaurentis house, down the street and into the Fields' home. Emily's Dad was the polar opposite of Alison's Mom, which Ali didn't expect. She wasn't all that familiar with Wayne Fields, since he spent most of his time away. Emily said he was fighting for their country, but didn't really know much more to elaborate on, and when Alison asked her own Dad what that meant, he had simply said 'it means he's a schmuck'. Alison never repeated that to Emily, of course.
Alison realized that day, that Wayne Fields was a good man. He didn't shout at his daughter, he didn't even frown or grumble about the bird that had been unceremoniously dumped on the kitchen counter. No. He picked the little bird up and inspected it closely.
'My guess is a broken wing' he uttered with the same sad expression that Emily had had when she found the little creature. 'We'll take it to the vet, get it checked over. How's that sound kiddo?' he directed his question to Emily, who smiled widely. And so that was what they did. Wayne grabbed a small box and filled it with some shredded newspaper for the bird, and he took them to the vet. When the vet offered to keep the bird in until it was recovered, it was Emily's tearful eyes that had Wayne offering to rehabilitate the bird himself. So, with instructions from the vet, Wayne helped the girls to build a nest for the bird in the Garage. Together, the three of them looked after the baby bird until it was completely healed a few weeks later, when Wayne returned it to its nest in the DiLaurentis backyard.
That was the first time Alison ever felt jealous of Emily's family, and the first time she knew that Emily was something special.
Nine year old Alison was much more naive about the world, though that changed very quickly. Now, twenty five year old Alison knew about the disappointments that the world offered. She knew that things weren't always sunshine and rainbows, and it was her previous disappointments in life that had her sitting in a coffee shop in Harrisburg at 9am on a Tuesday morning, bracing herself for the inevitable shoe to drop. Things regarding her Mom had gone too smoothly so far, and with everything else that had gone wrong lately, this was bound to be equally as catastrophic. Alison knew that she couldn't expect anything from the person who had let her down the most in the world. This was the woman who had taught Alison from a young age, that she couldn't depend on anyone but herself.
'Alison?'
'Hello Mother'
