Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter twenty nine: The Mile High Club
Rating: PG-15
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.

AN: You might be noticing that the rating is going up - readers disgression!


Tanya headed over to the seats, dragging her friends along that were pretty reluctant at first. "Did I mention I hate small spaces?" Alan hissed.

"Now he says," Tanya pushed him into his seat. "Well, I am sorry Alan A Dale but it is too late now. You'll have to deal with it for just over an hour." She turned to find the rest of the gang edging their way back up the aisle. "OI! Get back here and SIT!"

Tanya took hold of Robin's hand and guided him to his seat. Once she'd made sure the rest of the outlaws were settled, she took a place next to him and sighed. He looked at her and smiled. "Are you okay?"

Tanya glanced sideways at him and nodded. "Just tired," she said. "I'll be okay once we're there. How about you? Are you okay?"

Robin retuned her smile and took her hand. "I will be, once we've arrived and I know we're safe from Vaysey and Guy, I'll relax." He kissed her fingers tenderly. Not knowing whether to smile, or pull away from him, Tanya hesitated. Robin rolled his eyes and leaned towards her to kiss her. Allowing his lips to touch hers lightly, she then pulled away.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, Robin of Locksley" she smirked.

"Please just be quiet woman and kiss me, or I'll be forced to take Alan's advice and gag you."

Tanya cried out in protest and raised her hand to hit him. Robin, much quicker than she was, caught her wrist and held it fast before kissing her hard. Charli, who was still stood in the aisle, shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Please. Get a room." She then looked around and saw everybody to be seated and let out a sigh of relief. "Finally."

"Hey! My window seat!" She pouted, glaring at Much, who had thrown himself into the chair and pressed his face against the window.

"No, mine!" He folded his arms across his chest.

"Charli's!" Both Will and Robin, who had detached himself for a moment from Tanya, spoke up. "Move!" Will glared.

"She baggsied it," John pointed out.

"John, you don't even know what that means!" Much said.

"Yes I do."

"Explain then!" Much shot at him.

Little John looked lost before he spluttered out, "Well, what does it matter if I know what it means or not! Charli is a lady, therefore she gets the seat! Now MOVE!"

Tanya snorted at Little John's description of Charli, and Charli grinned, amused.

"Its ok." She smiled. "If Much wants it that bad... he gets to watch all the people getting smaller and smaller as we get higher and higher. Ill just sit here." She sat down on the spare seat next to Robin.

Much paled. "Smaller and smaller? Charli! Here, have the seat!" He scrambled up and slid past his friends and out into the isle. Charli winked at Tanya and slid into the window seat, which just happened to be next to Will. She hadn't planned that. No. Not at all.

The air hostess made her way over, a huge fake smile plastered across her face. "Have you all managed to sort yourselves out yet?" There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Charli was about to bite back with a witty remark when Will quickly placed his hand over her mouth.

"Yes, thank you!" He said as he thumbed back to the others. "The children are now sitting comfortably, we can be on our way. " He thumbed back to the others.

Tanya giggled. "Wow, Will. I didn't know you had such humour in you. You and Charli are a match made in heaven!"

Will was about to thank Tanya when he suddenly grimaced. "DID YOU JUST LICK MY HAND?" He glared down at a grinning Charli, who had indeed licked his hand.

"And she told us to get a room?" Tanya shook her head.

"So…I was wondering," Robin eyed her. "What exactly do you mean when you say 'get a room'?"

Tanya blushed slightly. "Well... she basically means... kiss in private."

"Oh…right" He looked around. "Shall we go somewhere private then?" He grinned wickedly.

"We're about to take off," she laughed before stopping herself. "And even so, no! Stop being to bloody rude all the time!"

"Take off?" Much blanched. "What do you mean, take off?"

"Lift off the ground" Tanya explained. "Go up in to the air."

"Witchcraft," was the well-placed comment from Little John, who had settled down in his chair, with the provided sick bag over his eyes.

"Yes John, Witchcraft," Charli agreed for arguments sake. "But at the end of the day it's perfectly safe and it gets us there a whole lot faster."

John slowly lowered the bag from his eyes. "It does?"

"Yes! We will be there in an hour!" Tanya smiled, pushing Robin away as he tried to pull her into his lap. "Robin get off! We have to stay in our own seats for take off."

Robin sulked. "For a whole hour?"

"No, once we're in the air, we can move around freely, but even then I'll be remaining in my seat and off your lap." She smirked as the plane began to taxi; Much swore and even Djaq looked a little nervous. John, on the other hand, looked surprisingly calm.

The plane reached the runway and began to pick up speed. Tanya closed her eyes and quickly took hold of Robin's hand. Surprised, he turned and whispered into her ear. "You're afraid too?"

Not wanting to speak, she squeezed her eyes shut tighter and nodded her head quickly. Robin kissed her hair, and shut his own eyes as the plane hurtled down the runway. Next to him, Much squeaked, John swore loudly, Alan had semi-passed out and Djaq was muttering an prayer in Arabic. Will was clutching hard to Charli, who had her arm around him, a happy grin on her face.

"Yeehaa," she muttered quietly as the front wheels lifted off the ground and the plane took flight.

"Yeehaa?"

"Yeah, yeehaa!" She said quietly, not wanting to upset Tanya too much who had turned a deathly shade of white.

The plane shook as it battled the resistance and steadily rose into the air. It was not long before the seat belt light had switched on, and the stewardess' had begun to move around the cabin. The outlaw's sat frozen, as they had been since take off began

"Right!" Charli unbuckled her belt and stretched. "Toilet break!" She headed down the aisle.

Will's eyes followed her all the way. "They have toilets on this thing…privy's?" He grimaced.

"Hell yeah," Charli disappeared into the back of the plane.

"Alan? Much?" Tanya poked them. "Are you two ok?"

Alan, who was still semi-conscious mumbled a few un recognisable words, Much nodded nervously. Djaq held onto Alan's hand and Tanya nearly passed out herself when she saw John staring out the window with the biggest smile on his face. She quickly nudged Will and Robin and pointed. "Look at him." She smiled.

"Okay, who did what to Little John?" Robin glared at Much and Will and Alan. Alan snorted a little, and Will and Much stared back at him in innocent protest.

"Nothing!"

"Would we?"

"I believe you would," Tanya, who had regained a little more colour now that they were flying steadily, looked over at the three of them. She winked at Djaq when she saw the women smiling. "This isn't normal for John."

"He is having a good time for once," Djaq said. "Let's not disturb him."

As if there words had shaken him out of his trance, Little John turned away from the window and grinned. "My son would have loved this!"

"You have a son?" Tanya asked, curiously interested. Charli arrived back from the bathroom, and once again had to squeeze past everyone to return to her seat. Tripping over Much's bag from the Body Shop, Charli sprawled into Alan, causing him to wake up with a shout.

"Sorry," Charli giggled. "Hey, what did you buy from the Body Shop! Let me see!" She made a grab for the bag but Much pulled it away from here. "Oooh touchy, touchy! You didn't buy any cosmetics did you?"

"Cosmetics?" Much pulled his face and hugged the plastic bag to his chest.

"Yes, make up," Tanya grinned, watching as Charli attempted to wrestle the bag away from Much, from where she was kneeling on the floor. She was almost winning, to the disgust of the man, when a stewardess appeared again.

"Miss, can you please sit on your seat."

Charli looked up at the stewardess in surprise, the 'Body Shop' bag almost in her hand. She shoved it back into Much's chest in a temper before getting to her feet. "I will have that bag from you by the end of the flight…puff," she mumbled. "I know you have make-up in there."

Tanya frowned; John still hadn't answered her previous question about having a son.

As if Robin had read her mind, he shook his head and warned her not to mention it again, as John went back to staring happily out of the window, across Will and Charli. Charli pointed out some stuff to him, but it was not long before she had fallen asleep, her head on Will's shoulder and her hand clasped in his.

Tanya smiled as she watched the two of them; she was glad for her friend that she had found happiness with this man; even if it had been under strange circumstances. The only thing that bothered her, and it had been playing in the back of her mind since she had finally kissed Robin, was the fact that at some point, if possible, they'd have to go home.

Her heart skipped a beat slightly, knowing that she was already growing attached, even when she's promised she wouldn't. She turned her head and looked at Robin. He, in turn, was staring at her intently. "What?" She whispered. Robin nodded his head in the direction of the toilet and winked at her.

"You're joking me right! No! This isn't the mile high club for Christ's sake!"

"Charli told us to get a room," Robin smirked. "She didn't say what kind of room. And what's the mile high club?"

"It's…oh my god. Please don't make me explain this one," she moaned. "And that toilet is not a room, trust me! It's all cramped, there'd be no room and-I can't believe I'm even thinking about this!"

Robin laughed, and slipped his arm around her shoulders. "So what are we supposed to do for an hour?"

"Ooh, that reminds me. Charli and I went to WHSmith and bought some books for you guys...you can read, right?"

Robin groaned. "Books? Why would I want to read a book?"

"It's fun." Tanya picked up the bag. "Besides, this has got stuff about you in it." She handed him a horrible histories book.

Robin stared blankly at the cover for a moment or two before a smile spread across his face. "About me?"

Tanya rolled her eyes. "Yes. About you. Read it and let me sleep!" Robin opened the book and peered curiously into it. It wasn't long before it had his full attention.

"Right," she turned to the rest of the guys. "Djaq, here's a history of medicine book. Much, a British Menu book. John, I thought you'd might like a newspaper to read? Alan, this is a script off a TV show called 'Little Britain'. Its completely fictional and supposed to be funny...how much of it you'll get I don't know."

Alan took the book of her with some trepidation. "Thanks." Tanya then dug on a copy of Heat magazine and began to sift though it. She would have offered one to Charli but her and Will seemed to be dozing lightly.

The rest of the flight passed quickly, the outlaws engrossed in the material the girls had chose for them to read. Djaq was making slow progress through the thick medical journal, and kept interrupting Tanya for help with the Latin names. Tanya, after a time, found herself resting on Robin's shoulder, while he read first his horrible histories and then her heat magazine. After he had finished with both, he placed them into the seat pocket and sighed. "According to that horrible history book, everything turns out well for my people and I back in Locksley."

Tanya was about to make some joke but stopped short when she saw the serious lines creasing his forehead. "Yes, that's right. According to legend."

"How much do you believe to be true?" His eyes bore into her own.

Tanya shrugged. "Well none of it really…but then I met you so…"

Robin stared at her, waiting for her to continue her sentence. Meanwhile, Much and Alan, bored of their books, had slipped of their seats and were sat on the floor, tying Will and Charli's shoelaces together.

"Quick, quick, before they wake up!" Alan hissed.

"I'm doing it as fast as I can, you know I only just learned how to tie these things!"

Their muttering interrupted Tanya, who glared down at them. "What are you doing?"

They both grinned up at her, trying to look as innocent as humanly possible, but it was no use. "Up! Now!" She hissed, trying not to wake her friends. She unbuckled her seatbelt and got down on her hands and knees to undo their laces. "Babysitting, all the time," she mumbled.

"Outlaw sitting," Much corrected as he settled back down. Tanya was half way through sorting out the strange knot that the boys had managed to tie, when she felt two hands around her waist, and suddenly she was pulled backwards into Robin's lap.

"You didn't finish your sentence," he whispered into her ear.

"Oh," she blushed. "Well…I never believed any of the legends of Robin Hood. But then I met you. So, the legend must be true. Therefore, if everything turns out okay in the books…then just maybe, it will for you too."

She made a move back to floor to finish off the shoelaces but he quickly pulled her back. "Ah, ah, ah, stay."

"Robin - "

"Let them sort it out. I want to talk about why you never believed in the Robin Hood legends."

"I never told Charli, I'm not going to tell you," Tanya tried to push him away, but to no avail.

"You're not going anywhere," he held her tight.

Tanya, took a deep breath, and controlled the anger that was now bubbling to the surface. "Do you always get what you want?"

Robin smirked at her. "Always. Now speak."

"Why should I have believed in something that supposedly happened eight hundred years ago, something that was never written or recorded? It's supposed to be legend."

"Legend is always based on fact, that was even the case in 1192!"

"I think you'll find that's Myths."

"No, its Legends. Myths are definitely not true!" Robin said stubbornly.

Tanya probed him in the chest. "Either way! There was no actual proof that you existed until now…well no proof for me anyway," she shrugged. "I don't think anybody else would believe it."

"Why not?"

Tanya snorted. "What? You think people are going to believe that you fell through a windy vortex and into the toilets of Starbucks cafe?"

"I have no idea what you just said" Robin grinned. "But it sounded believable."

"No it doesn't, but it's what happened so…it'll have to be for now…can I sit in my seat now?" She pulled away. "I never was comfortable sat on a mans lap."

Robin didn't know whether she was serious or not. "She's serious," Charli murmured, squinting at Robin. "And who the HELL has tied my shoelaces together?" Much and Alan burst into a fit of giggles and Charli sighed. "I should have known."

Will woke with a start and, after realising what had happened, picked up the horrible history book about Robin Hood and threw it at their heads. It would have hit them perfectly if they hadn't have moved.

"Ow," Djaq looked up from the medical book. "You just threw a book at my cranium!" Everyone blinked at her. And burst out laughing.

Their laughter was interrupted by the sound of the flight attendant's voice over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, the plane has now begun it's decent and we shall be shortly landing in Paris. If you could all take your seats and fasten your seatbelts and make sure that your seats are in the upright position and your table trays returned to their original place."

"We have to land? As in, go back to Earth?" Much paled again, turning widely to Tanya.

"Of course we have to land you ninny! Did you expect us to stay up here all day?"

Much gulped. "Well no but…I don't like the idea of the plane going down."

"Me neither," Tanya began to sweat. "But it's a must."

"Its fine," Charli smiled. "You'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say," muttered Much.

The plane began to descend, everybody growing unusually quiet, that was until Alan spoke up. "Not being funny but, my ears are starting to hurt." He looked over at Djaq. "'Ere, you're the doctor, what's up with me?"

"You need to equalize," Charli leaned over towards him.

"Equalise?"

"Yeah. Hold you nose and blow threw it."

"Do what?"

"Do it or you'll be in worse pain!"

Alan did as he was instructed and to his surprise his ears cleared. "Hey, how did you know that?" He laughed. "You guys should try this!" He blew even harder causing his eyes to water. "Ow."

Everyone laughed at Alan, but gratefully cleared their ears and soon the plane, to everyone's relief, touched down in Paris' Charles de Gaul.