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Chapter Twenty-Nine

Dinner would be late tonight William surmised once his set down his pen and glanced at the clock. It was already half passed two and he still needed to speak to Lily. Unless their conversation was a short one, he didn't think they would make it to Blackwood's until four at the latest. Then Reggie would need to get dressed and practice her fencing while he spoke to Blackwood, depending on what his sister had to say. He imagined it would be close to seven, perhaps eight, by the time they sat down for a meal. Well... perhaps not too late then. Though, if his estimations were wrong for any reason, it could be served as late as nine or nine-thirty.

He wiped a hand down his face and looked over at his half-eaten plate with some distaste; his appetite hadn't been what it used to be. Then he glanced at his papers. He'd managed to write a few lines, but it was almost entirely shit. Bleedin' shit at that. If nothing else though, he'd written something; something was certainly better than nothing. That's what he kept telling himself, at any rate.

William leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling...

So much had happened and his writing wasn't doing a good job of being very distracting. At all.

His mother was just barely cold in the ground a day and he already felt her absence—the lack of her in the place they called home. She'd always been here, always been just a few steps away. Even when she'd not been sick she'd always seemed... there. William had not fully realized how completely apart of his life his mother had been until she wasn't here anymore. It didn't matter if she'd gone out shopping for new baubles or dresses, or with his father to the opera, or even just for a walk in the park with her maid. There was so much of her still in this house that it was difficult to process calling out for her and not getting a response...

Had she known her time was coming this soon? Had that been why she'd had the chat with him about the gems? About Reggie? Maybe he should have seen it as a sign... spent more time with her... but no. No, he told himself as she shut his eyes briefly and leaned the chair back far enough to pull the two front legs off the floor. No, there was nothing he could have done. He and his sisters had spent quite a bit of time with her before she'd died. They'd been there for her last moments. And as awful as it sounded... he was glad she'd gone when Lily was in town. He couldn't imagine trying to pen a letter to his oldest sister on top of all the others he still needed to see too. Old friends... distant family. And some part of him knew his mother would have tried to hold on until Lily got her; she wouldn't have needed to suffer like that.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he jumped and nearly fell to the floor when a hand touched his shoulder.

"Will!"

A hand steadied him quickly and he sucked in breath at the same time he got his bearings back. Both front legs of the chair slammed back on the floor with a crack and his sharp eyes locked on Lily's. "Chist," he cursed, one open palm flat on his chest as if that would help alleviate the rapid beating of his heart, "You scared me, Lily."

"Very sorry," she said, her brow knit and her mouth turned down. "Are you quite alright, brother? I did not mean to startle you."

He nodded and pushed curls out of his face. "Yes, fine. It's alright. I assure you." He was looking up at her again. "Is something the matter?"

"I need to speak with you. Are you busy?" She glanced over at his pen and paper.

He gave a sigh at that. "Not at all. Nothing worthy of my calling it busy-work." He stood then and moved to adjust the rolled up sleeves of his shirt. "I actually needed to speak with you as well. Come on, we'll be more comfortable over here." He motioned to the settee. "Shall I ring for tea?"

"No, I've just eaten with Victor. And... I'm not much in the mood for tea, I suppose." She followed and took the space next to him on the cushioned seating. "Shall I let you go first?" She smoothed her skirts out and focused her attention on him.

"You go on; I might take a little while."

She nodded and he watched as she took a few minutes to compose her thoughts. All at once, just from that, he knew what this was about and his chest tightened with the very idea of the discussion he knew was coming. "How are you holding up?" she began. Her lips became a flat line and she looked down at her hands. "Victor's too young to really understand... but he knows something is wrong; he misses her. And Reggie... We've talked. But you and I haven't really." She sighed. "I want to make sure you're—."

"I'm not alright," he interrupted her, not looking at her and not really looking at much of anything. "I've not reason to lie about that. Especially not to you. I... I miss her also. Barely a day in the ground and already..."

"I know..."

His throat felt thick with it—all of it. "She's always been here, Lily. Always. Anytime I needed someone to talk to about anything and she was right here. And now she's not and I feel like..." he paused and took in a deep breath. He stared down at his hands, at the way they seemed so lifeless in his lap. "I knew she was sick and I knew she wasn't going to get better, but I think some part of me never really prepared myself for..." Cor... he couldn't even say it.

And suddenly Lily's hand was taking a hold of his, her fingers weaving into his and squeezing. "I know..." Her voice was shaking, clotted with tears he didn't have to look up to see. "I remember the day she helped me pick my coming out gown at the dressmakers, the way she'd stood there as they poked and prodded me for the fitting. The way she'd smiled and told me to hold on a bit longer and it would all be perfect for my perfect day." She laughed softly and he knew it was an attempt to stave off the tears she couldn't. "To this day I still hate fittings and I always think of her when I go to one. I always get a slice of cake afterward because that's what we did that day—to make it all seem less exhausting."

William squeezed back finally and looked up. His free hand reached for a handkerchief he'd left in his pants' pocket. He handed it to her and watched as she wiped her eyes. He took it back and then did the same with another deep inhale. "It'll never quite be the same, Lily... but we'll get through it."

She nodded and forced a smile as she met his gaze. "I know we will. I just wanted to see how you were doing. That's all." She inhaled through her nose just as deeply and seemed to almost try to reset—holding it all back. "You said you needed to speak with me as well?"

"Ah... yes... though I'm not sure if it's entirely appropriate just now." He sat back against the settee and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I don't think there will ever be a good time for anything—not for a long while yet, brother. Tell me what it is you need to say."

"Well..." He dropped his hand and stared at the wall of books across the way. "You've been seeing Blackwood for a while. I've not been approached about any sort of formal request for courtship, but am I correct to assume that's what's going on? At least, given the way you were crying on his shoulder at the funeral."

Lily, to her credit, didn't blush; however, he could tell she was a little put out by his statement. "Would... would you have preferred he ask you?"

William waved a hand. "You're a window, Lily and you've managed quite well on your own for a good while. I believe it's safe to assume you don't need my blessing in regards to man you choose to spend time with—formally or otherwise."

"Reggie has been my chaperone if you're—."

He laughed softly. "I'm not worried."

"Well... good."

He smiled at her lazily; the action looked more like a smirk than anything else. The expression was tight and denoted that he wasn't exactly pleased with that he was about to say. "Reggie wanted me to talk to you about marrying Blackwood."

"Because of the family's financial standing."

"To put it mildly, yes." He shrugged, both because he was relieved she didn't seem upset and because he was a little tired. "I'm well aware that it wouldn't do well to borrow from what Wulf left for Victor and his estate. I know you're not bad off, but you can't afford to loan us what we need to keep afloat—to stabilize the estate."

She nodded.

"Lily? You can say no. I just assumed since you've been spending time with him that you were happy and... quite frankly I don't have a problem with Blackwood. He's a complete gentleman and certainly has a better reputation with the ton than I do."

"It's not that... it's... Well, mother's death aside—the mourning period, I'm not sure if I'm ready yet. I had planned on—hoped for—a longer courtship." She allowed her fingers to interweave in her lap and looked at him. "Have you not considered something else?"

"Such as?"

"I know mother mentioned selling the gems, but..."

He frowned.

She waved a hand this time, more horridly. "Not sell them... but have you considered using them in another manner?"

He blinked a few times, confused. Utterly. But then she was being vague.

"You haven't. Well, I have an idea that would work in all our favors." And then she smiled.

And so William listened.

#

It had only been a part of a night and a day, but Buffy couldn't help but agonize over what Tara would tell her—at some point. The response to Reggie's request to go back with them—back home. It was especially difficult not to think about what the PTB would say while she was fencing with Reggie, while the girl in question was thrusting a pointed metal end at her tipped by a protective ball.

She was getting better. William had not been wrong about Reggie being a fast learner and Buffy could easily imagine that this kind of exercise helped her forget about the loss of her mother. It immediately occurred to her that she'd spent so much time thinking about how it was affecting William that she hadn't really stopped to consider how Reggie was dealing with it—not even during last night's reveal. She was still so very young, even if not by this era's standards. Buffy had barely been in college when the aneurism had taken Joyce from her one awful afternoon. Reggie wasn't even in her twenties yet. She didn't know exactly how old she was, but probably around sixteen or seventeen. Dawn was fifteen... well, as far as fifteen went for her, anyway; what, with her being a mystical key.

It would probably be good to find out, especially given that if she was allowed to go she'd be in her life a lot.

As Reggie thrust once more Buffy found herself legitimately being slow on her defense and barked laughter as the younger woman's point hit the center of her chest. "Point," she said, lowering her rapier. "Good job. Break?"

"You sure?" Buffy watched as the other woman held her stance and seemed to hesitate. "I could go another twenty minutes."

"Of course you could," Buffy said with a grin as she removed her protective head gear. "But it's important to rest now and then." She turned and moved towards the long table set against the wall as she wiped hair out of her eyes. As usual, the servants had laid out a pitcher of water and glasses. Buffy put her things down and moved to pour herself some. "It's a good thing you weren't born the slayer; the demons wouldn't know what to do with themselves."

"Is it fun?" Reggie asked as she mirrored Buffy's actions, taking a drink soon enough.

"Being the slayer?"

"Yes."

"Tough question," Buffy voiced aloud, speaking more to herself than her 'student' as she looked upwards. "It's hard. I hated it at first. A lot of my life has been..."

Reggie waited.

Buffy sighed and dropped her head to a more relaxed position. "I wanted a normal life in the beginning; for a long time," she told her honestly, glancing at Reggie once. "To be normal, you know? To not have to worry about what goes bump in the night and how I was going to fix it—how I was going to save the world. Again. I lost people too." Not all of them to death. Some of them to just... the destiny that was thrust on her. "It's not glamorous. At all. I've seen a lot of things I wish I never had."

"I can't imagine it's without its violence."

"It's not," Buffy agreed, wondering why she'd never really talked to Dawn like this. But then... Dawn had always been her little sister, then someone she needed to protect, and after that... After Glory and...

Buffy sighed.

"You sound as if you don't anymore though...?" Reggie half questioned. "Hate it, that is."

"I've learned to accept that being the slayer is as much a part of who I am as my own skin, just as much as anything else about me. Take that away and... It's hard to imagine." She'd been there once before. "I've learned to embrace it, even if it isn't beautiful or amazing. It's just who I am. But it's not the only thing I am. I just have to remember that." She smiled as she looked at Reggie. "I'm also a woman who likes to dance, who listens to her friends when they need her, who enjoys coffee early in the morning if it's made right, and who—apparently now—enjoys a good book." She chuckled and took a long sip of her water. "We're all more than what people think we are or want us to be.

"You too, Reg." She gave her a light shove.

Reggie smiled at that and then looked around the room. "Wherever did William run off to?"

"I think he said he needed to talk to Kit." Buffy shrugged. "You want to grab a snack from the kitchens?"

"Yes... actually." Her brow furrowed. "I am suddenly just now aware of how hungry I am. Dinner won't be served too late, I hope."

"Probably not. But that doesn't mean we can't ruin our appetite a little with a slice of pie." Both women left their things behind and made the trek towards the kitchens. With a little schmoozing Buffy and Reggie soon found themselves sitting in a corner of the kitchen at an unused rustic table—likely one used so the staff could have breaks—eating two slices of blackberry pie with a bit of cream on top.

"So," Buffy started, "how are things with you... you know since..."

"The funeral?" Reggie supplied between bites. She took a moment to wipe a bit of the fruit from her mouth. "Well... I try keep busy. Today is helping. It's more difficult at night when all I have to do is go to sleep and think. And think and think... and... think." She frowned. "But then I find myself sparing a glance at my brother when he's none the wiser and... I remind myself that I'm not the only one who's missing her. At times it seems worse for him. I didn't know my father well before he died, but William was close with him as well. So... that's why I think it hurts more—hurts him more. He's lost them both."

Buffy nodded slowly.

"But you'll be there for him in ways I can't be, so that makes it better in my opinion; for him. Even if he doesn't fully understand yet." She offered Buffy a weak smile. "Lily has Blackwood, William has you... and I... I have my work."

Buffy reached out then and took her hand. "I'm here if you need to talk, Reg. You know that right?"

"I do. Thank you." She pulled her hand back and grabbed her glass, washing down the pie. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have fencing lessons to look forward to."

"Hey..." Buffy began softly, thinking about her earlier thoughts during their session—wanting to give her something, "I ah... I wanted you to know that after you left last night I spoke to Tara about what you asked."

Reggie's blue eyes caught hers, looking alit with curiosity. "Oh?"

Buffy nodded. "I told her that if it was possible then... then I would very much like to take you with me."

"Truly?"

"Yes."

Reggie grinned; the action bloomed across her entire face and the darkness in her eyes evaporated. "That's... fantastic!" she breathed with obvious excitement.

"Don't get your hopes up just yet," Buffy quickly told her. "I still need to wait for approval. I just wanted you to know that if it didn't happen it wouldn't be because I didn't try."

"I am thankful regardless of the response. I do promise you that if it comes to be that I can accompany you that I will do my best to be helpful, or at the very least not cause you any sort of burden."

"Trust me," Buffy told her after she swallowed another bite. "You won't be any more of a burden than my sister is."

"Sister? You have a sister?"

Buffy blinked. "I didn't tell you?"

"No, you didn't." She was still smiling. "I actually don't know anything about your family."

"Ah... well..." Buffy started, placing her chin in her open hand, elbow on the table. "She's about your age. I'm her... I guess you'd say she's my ward? I'm her guardian?" Buffy's nose wrinkled at the thought. "Our mother died... what seems like yesterday. It's been a while though. I'm in charge of making sure she's taken care of. I'll be in charge of you too if everything works out." She paused. "How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"About a year older than Dawn then." She smiled ruefully. "You guys will be thick a thieves. Dawn will love you."

"What's she like?" Buffy could tell Reggie was very curious now as she leaned into the table, as if she couldn't get close enough to hear Buffy.

"Uh... well... An average teenager, I guess? She likes to hang with her friends and watch TV. She loves music and going to the movies." Buffy thought a bit more. "She gets into her fair share of trouble. And... we're not always on the best terms. Usually. But we're better now." Buffy recalled the way she'd left Dawn that night, the way the young girl had worried about her falling asleep on the couch with her make-up still on. Her smile became wry. "She'll have more fun showing you what our time is like than me, I think. Well... if they let you go—the PTB."

"Why wouldn't they?"

Reggie seemed to have a million questions, but Buffy couldn't blame her. She was little surprised she wasn't asking what TV and the movies were. "They have to make sure moving you to the future isn't going to mess anything up—timeline wise. I'm not math wizard, but Tara tells me they've got a whole system. And they need to factor in you going from here to there—to see if it'll be ok."

Reggie sighed as she wiped her face with a napkin, finally done with her pie. "I certainly hope it all works out."

"Me too, Reg. Me too."

#

William found himself facing Kit alone from across a large wooden desk in the man's study. Lily had thought it would be better if she saw to Victor's evening meal first and settled him in with the nanny. More to the point, she thought it might better if William were allowed to address this subject with Kit by himself. He didn't argue, too overwrought with his mother's passing to be nervous about what he was going to discuss with his sister's... not quite betrothed. Not yet. In time though, yes. He couldn't see things not working out between the two of them.

"How can I help you, Lord Broderick?" Kit asked.

"William," he clarified. "I do believe we're long past the point of addressing one another by titles, if anything my sister has had to say is any kind of indication."

"Very well." Kit's brows rose then. He leaned back in his chair and seemed to appraise William. "I take it she has told you about my request to formally court her? I do apologize for not asking you first, but I did not think—."

William waved a hand. "It's perfectly fine. You both have my blessing, not that Lily needs it. I certainly think you will suit far better than many other matches between members of the ton."

Kit appeared to relax at that; though William hadn't really noticed he was tense until just then. "Well... that is good to hear. If you're not here about that, then what is it? Why bring it up?"

"Because I had spoken to Lily about the two of you marrying." He paused. "As you know, we are not in the best shape financially. We're doing well enough for now, but I do not want to sell the properties we have to buy more time. Reggie believes we can get out of this easily enough, but we need money to do so."

"And you want to marry Lily off to me to..." he trailed off.

"I saw it as my one of my only options initially," William explained. "To be frank, Kit, my mother wanted me to sell the family gems, ones that have been with our family for generations. I am not above doing so, but—."

"You'd rather not," Kit finished for him.

"I'd rather not put either of my sisters on an auction block either, no better than chattel. But Lily seems happy with you. I did not think she would mind the marriage, even if it caused a bit of a scandal."

"Yes, well, as unforgiving as the ton might be, they soon forget things—given the right amount of time and guest invites to very well-planned and exclusive parties. Money speaks louder than scandal with the sharks, believe me." Kit sighed. "What has Lily had to say about this?"

"She's not ready to get married yet. It's not just mother's death, she wants more time to get to know you. And I fully understand that."

Kit nodded. "Then what is it I can do for you, if not ask for your sister's hand posthaste?"

William imagined he must care for Lily quite a bit if he was willing to do such a thing so easily. Kit was still young; William was older than he was, and yet the other gentleman had an air about him that seemed decades beyond him. He could still hold off for quite a while if he so choose, not get married until he was in his thirties if he wanted. Especially since he didn't have anyone breathing down his neck to get right to it like a mother or aging aunt.

"Lily proposed something I and Reggie are most agreeable too. We would like to give the gems to you as collateral for a loan to help rebuild and stabilize the estate. We would pay it off with monthly installments. Eventually... we would get them back. Either that or... well, Victor is the only heir were anything to happen to me. If something did I would trust that they would go into my sister's custody until he was old enough to marry and pass them onto his own spouse. Naturally, if the marriage did not occur, I will have arrangements to make sure you were still paid in full."

"That is a rather brilliant idea. Did you have a number in mind already?"

He felt his heart skip a beat, hopeful and a little surprised. "You're willing to help then?"

"Certainly. I care very deeply for Lilith. I do have honorable intentions in her regard. I would very much like for you to consider this an offering of good faith." He paused. "Though... William... you must know I would loan the money to you even if you didn't offer the gems."

"I couldn't do that. As a gentlemen I couldn't."

"I understand." He nodded and slid a paper and pen across the desk. "Write down how much."

And William did. He wrote down the exact number Reggie had told him would be sufficient. A lump formed in his throat as he slid both items back across the desk to Kit.

The other man eyed the digits the way he saw bankers eye stacks of papers littered with numbers and calculations. It was the same way his father had looked at his own stacks. But he didn't say anything, waiting patiently and somewhat uncomfortably in his seat. It wasn't the chair... he just...

"I am more than able to provide this. How would you like to make the exchange?"

William exhaled a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in. "Reggie can meet with you about that. She'll certainly know more about it all than I." He was smiling then. "I'm just the messenger boy." He couldn't help but smile though; it was as though this man had taken a huge burden off his shoulders—an immeasurable one. He had. "I cannot thank you enough." This he said as he stood and as Kit came around the table to offer him a hand shake.

"You've given your blessing for your sister—something far more precious than any amount of money. I assure you."

William nodded. "I do hope you will both be happy together, if and when the time comes."

"Even if it doesn't, and I hope it does, I will continue to watch out for them—to help you. I promise you that. You are a good man, William. You've just been dealt a poor hand."

"Thank you. I can't say it enough. Really... This has been weighing on me for... years, I think." He looked down then and wiped a hand down his face, releasing Kit's hand.

"What good is all my money if I can't help those who need it? A friend?" He was smiling as William met his gaze. "Now what say you and I share a drink in celebration? I've got some good whisky stored away for such an event and I've not had a lot of guests to share it with as of late. Well... aside from my nephew." He was grinning as he slapped William on the back once.

"Sounds brilliant. Absolutely bleedin' brilliant."


AN :: I am sorry this chapter didn't contain any Buffy and Spike fluff or sexy times, but I needed to get this part out of the way. Hopefully it doesn't have too many errors. I'll fix them if people let me know. I also apologize for how long it took to update. Last semester took a lot out of me. I was writing every week. Short essays, but essays nonetheless. And the reading was heavy. I really hate post-modernist. -gags- Next chapter will skip ahead a few days, perhaps a week. Give William a little time to heal. I'll likely brush over his time with Buffy together—all the time they'll have spent together. Then we'll hit a huge climax. Keep your eyes out. I'll also do my best to reply to reviews over the next few days.

I also don't want to make any promises, but I'm really looking forward to writing the next few chapters. At least the next two. So I'm really hoping to get them out quickly. But I also have another fic to get an update out for. Not Buffy. If you're into Inuyasha then you should look for it on FF under my usual pen name. Blade Redwind.

Anyway, have a good night! Love you and thank for sticking with me.

Blade

P.S. I want you guys to know I won't abandon this fic. Even if it's months between updates I will finish it. I promise. There's nothing more I hate than an unfinished story. Thanks again for your patience. (Pray for summer! More time to write!)