Chapter 29
Kensi wakes up when her alarm clock starts ringing, an annoying sound that makes her wish she had the ability to wake up on time every single morning without its aid.
She opens her eyes and slams her hand against the button on top of the irritating device, effectively stopping the sound that filled the room and letting out a relieved sigh when the only thing she can hear is silence.
The sunlight is as bright as in every other morning and the young agent allows herself to smile slightly. She's always been a sucker for good weather.
Then, everything changes.
She feels the warm breath against her neck, his arm around her waist, his naked chest against her back and her legs curled against his. Her eyes widen.
God, she let this happen again.
Maybe he was right when he said her problem wasn't the uniform. Maybe her problem was him.
That thought is terrifying.
It can't be that, right?
Marty Deeks can't be her weakness…right?
Well, even if that is the case, the last thing she can do about it is tell him. Kensi can't even imagine the things he would do or say if he found out the thoughts currently running through her mind. He would never allow her to live this one down.
One way or another, they're partners.
They work together.
They can't keep having sex.
She has to be stronger than this.
She needs to have a little bit more self-control than this.
It's not like they can keep falling into bed together just because. The sane part of her brain tries to tell her that maybe there is a reason for that, one that she's not fully ready to admit quite yet.
So, Kensi tries to think about anything but how good his warm naked body feels against her, spooning her. She feels safe, protected.
Sure, she always claims to be independent and the truth is that she is. She doesn't need anyone to come in her rescue.
But this feels good.
It feels good to know that there's someone who cares enough to keep an eye on her at all times, someone who is always there even when she's sure she's not going to need it.
It's only when he moves that she freezes.
He's waking up and she knows she's going to have to keep up the act that this can't happen again.
That's what she tries to tell herself, anyway. This can' keep happening and she's aware of that but also knows one look from him, the right look, would throw all those thoughts out of the window without much effort. The power he has over her, her body, should probably scare her more than what it actually does but there's nothing Kensi can do about it.
She just has to accept her fate, her weakness.
It's not like she's not going to try to fight against it with every bit of strength she has in her but the chances of winning that fight are pretty close to none.
Still, there's no way in hell she's going to tell him that.
His voice pulls her out of her thoughts. "Did you sleep well?"
Kensi rolls her eyes but can't help the light smile on her face. Only he would ask something like that when things are so complicated, when there's so much to talk about.
"This can't happen again…you know that, right?"
And she doesn't have to turn around to see the smirk on his face. She knows it is there when he speaks. "Yeah, I've heard that one before."
Kensi breaks free from his hold, suddenly angry, and wraps her sheet around herself, getting up.
He stays in the bed, naked with a smirk on his face, not caring about his state of undress and only pissing her off further.
"Deeks, I'm serious. This can't happen again!"
He doesn't drop the smirk and sits with his back against her headboard, stretching in the process.
"I'm serious too, Kensi. If I didn't know any better I would start to think you're the kind of girl who can't be trusted. This is at least the third time you say that. The first one was all those years ago. Then you said it again just a few days ago. And now you're repeating it. Am I the only one noticing this?"
She sighs and throws a pillow at him. "Deeks, we're partners. You can't keep taking advantage of me like this just because you found out my weakness."
Deeks frowns, even though his smirk is still in place and Kensi realizes one second too late she walked right into this one. "So you finally admit that I'm your weakness."
She tries to deny it but doesn't work very hard for it.
They both know she can't keep denying the obvious for much longer. Sooner or later, she will face to face the reality.
And the truth is that Marty Deeks is a patient man.
"I didn't say that."
He gets up and starts walking towards her in a slow pace. "You didn't really need to say those words. There comes a time when you can't deny how you feel."
She tries to shut him out, to look less transparent to him.
He sees her wall coming up and knows she's trying to keep her feelings well hidden inside of her.
"There's nothing to admit."
Deeks grabs her chin and makes her look into his eyes. The playful smirk is gone from his face and the seriousness she sees there almost scares her.
But she knows there's nothing to fear. He would never do anything to hurt her.
"Kensi, look me in the eye and tell me you didn't enjoy what happened between us last night as much as I did. Tell me you honestly don't want it to happen again. Tell me you don't feel the same for me as I feel for you. Tell me that and I will never bother you with this again. Tell me that and we'll pretend this never happened."
Her voice comes out slightly shaky when she answers him. "What happens if I don't say it?"
Deeks smiles and leans down, kissing her softly. She kisses him back, unable to do anything but that. His lips are warm and soft against hers, not demanding but still pressuring to accept his control in this kiss. She allows him to do as he wants to, focusing on how good he feels and on managing to control her weakening knees.
When they pull back, Deeks smiles once again and kisses her forehead. "I'm going to get dressed and leave. I still have to go home before work. I'll see you there, Princess."
He starts walking away from her but she stops him by calling him.
He turns back to her and sees the frown on her face.
"I didn't give you my answer yet."
Deeks smirks.
"Yeah you did!"
With that, Deeks walks out of her bedroom and she hears him closing her front-door a few minutes later.
It's only then that she drops the towel and walks to the bathroom.
She can't even bring herself to think about anything right now.
Her thoughts are far too messy for her to make sense out of anything.
X
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Dear readers, this might be the last update of the year.
My family is all gathered for the holidays and that means I don't have the time to be on the computer as much as I would like.
I have my five brothers here, along with my sister-in-law, my parents, my two uncles, my three aunts, my five cousins and my nephew.
That means there are 6 women in my house and 14 men.
It's crazy!
I will try to post another chapter before the end of the year but I will make no promises.
I hope you all have fun during the holidays,
Sarah
