The Door
Konoha, 10th March
Year of the Hare

Sunlight seeped in the windows of the Nara household, warm, but thin. It was winter light, the early warning of a cold snap and a prime example of Konoha's weather idiosyncrasies - which often tended to suit their own needs more than anyone else's. When it was pleasant, there'd be a cold wind to nip at any exposed flesh. When it was brisk, there'd be a warm fog. Rain would pair chilling, heavy drops with mugginess, or plumes of mist on a sunny day. The climate particular to Konohagakure was everything a ninja would expect: unpredictable, inhospitable and pretty much an all-round bastard at times, which was why Shikamaru had spent as little time as possible engaging in it. Summer was for clouds, winter was for ceilings. Feeling the effects of an early morning work out (blasphemy) on a too-cold day (the horror), he stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth and trudged down toward his parent's workroom in search for a little arnica to smear on the new smattering of bruises Ino had left on his shins. He located the cream with ease (third shelf to the right in the cupboards lining the stairs), but was surprised to find his mother back at her workbench – her pestle scraping with practiced consistency and pressure against the cup of the mortar. Strange. Yoshino had said she'd finished the week's orders and had been looking forward to taking a break - stocking up her ingredients and what not. This couldn't be a late order and it wasn't like her to miss a shipment. Shikamaru frowned and shoved the last of the toast in his mouth, chewed a moment, before he said:

"What are you doing?"

"What? Nothing! I'm not doing anything." Yoshino barked in surprise. Her feigned innocence was at the detriment of the mantle of embarrassment on her cheeks. She blinked at her son in the dim light of the workroom, scrubbing at her brow with the back of her wrist. "What're you doing up so early? It's your day off."

"It's not early, it's eleven o' clock," he told her, raising a brow. "I'm going out for some Barbecue with Chouji. Thought I'd better let you know."

"What's wrong with leaving a note?"

"What's wrong with me telling my mother where I'm going in person?" Shikamaru parried. He drifted over to the table and eased down to perch on a tall wooden stool. "My mother who is also supposed to be taking a break. Whatcha making in there?"

"Just… a few anti-nausea pills." Yoshino shrugged. Hands coloured a strange muddy purple by the ugly-looking mix in her mortar dusted against her apron and she cleared her throat. "Nothing interesting."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why're you making them?"

"Because we need them."

"Who for?"

"Am I being interrogated?" The woman picked up a bottle of peppermint extract and let a few drops fall into the mixture. A cool, fresh tang pierced the air. "I'm just stocking up, Shika. Give me a break."

"But we've got heaps of those in storage. We gave a massive box to Chōza last week, remember?"

"We do?" Yoshino scraped the sides of the bowl and began folding in the mint essence. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

"How did you know that?"

Shikamaru rested his chin in his hands. "I did an inventory."

Yoshino finally paused to look at up her son, her expression a mix of wariness and bewilderment. "Since when do you bother to help me with inventories?"

Since Dad can't do it anymore. Shikamaru opened his mouth, then closed it and shrugged. "You're always bellyaching at me for not being helpful. So I thought I'd be helpful. Besides, Kurenai-sensei said she needed some half-dosage ones for the kid, so I went to go and find some and it took ages because all the stock as mixed up. It's a pain, but I sorted it out."

Yoshino stared at him.

"Thank you. I –uh… thanks." Her gratitude was something slightly foreign, but nonetheless genuine. Yoshino loved her son, but she wasn't always the best at showing it. She tended to be of the opinion that teaching was loving. And teaching, being a somewhat distant synonym to yelling was all the more worthwhile when it loud and frequent. But for now Yoshino just smiled and leaned over to rest her fingers on Shikamaru's wrist. "That's really helpful. I'm… I can forget things, sometimes. What we have and what we don't. Dad was always better at…" She stopped for a moment, picking at a spot on the table. "It… just slips my mind, you know?"

"Should take some rhodiola for that." Shikamaru replied. He smirked more than smiled, but it was the Shikamaru that Yoshino knew and remembered and that was exactly what she needed. She sighed.

"Yeah. Sage leaf tea. True." She patted her son's arm. "Or, you know, lavender is goo-"

"Mom, you've got crap all over your hands."

"Oh, sorry," Yoshino exclaimed, whipping her hand back to wipe it against her apron. "It's ok, it's really just a mix of dandelion and a few succulents-"

"These are for Sasuke, aren't they?" Shikamaru said, cutting to the chase. He didn't want to ruin the moment, yet he didn't like the fact that Yoshino thought she had to tiptoe around him. His mother balked, silenced for a few seconds before she rolled her eyes, defeated.

"Alright, smart-ass, go on. How the hell did you know that?"

"Well, you were really sympathetic toward him in that hearing. It was basically you, Chouji's dad and Tsunade-sama against all the rest. And Kurenai used to get stomach aches a lot when she was pregnant; you're putting the same stuff in these as you did for her. Kinda put two and two together."

"You remembered that?"

"It's a pain," Shikamaru shrugged again. "But yeah. I remember. I gotta remember – it's my responsibility as a member of the Nara to keep track of that kinda thing. Considering you're one of the best herbalists in the village, I should pay attention. Learn and stuff. Even if it's annoying." He added the last part somewhat reluctantly, but his mother just smiled wider and nodded.

"I said the same thing to my Grandfather, you know. Then my mom kicked my ass for mouthing off." She laughed. "Ok. Alright. These are for Sasuke."

Shikamaru nodded slowly. Then he said something which surprised himself as much as it did his mother. "Want me to deliver them?"

"What?" Yoshino blinked. "Really?"

"Well yeah. I mean, I guess I'm going that way anyway," Shikamaru gave a theatrical sigh. "Why not."

"Why not," Yoshino echoed. She started rolling the pills together, humming a little as her son watched her work. She didn't need to explain the method, the size or the shape – he knew. It may have never seemed like it, but he knew. When the medicine was finished, Yoshino packed it into a small, insulated bag and let Shikamaru take it.

"You make sure you explain the dosage properly, all right?" She told him.

"Yeah, yeah." Shikamaru paused. "Mom?"

"Mm?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why're you being so nice to him?" Shikamaru motioned to the pills. "I mean, he's a nukenin. He turned his back on the village. Why would you support a guy like that?"

"You mean you don't?" Yoshino raised a brow. "How come you offered to deliver the pills?"

"I don't… " Shikamaru paused. "Well, I don't hate the guy. I mean, he's back – so it's up to the justice system now. He's not a danger to anyone really, so-" He looked at his mother, helplessly. "I mean, you've never cared about the Uchiha before."

"Perhaps I didn't," Yoshino agreed. "No. You're right. I didn't. It wasn't really not caring though… It was more a lack of caring – you know?"

"That doesn't make sense."

"Fair enough," Yoshino scratched at her cheek, leaving a purplish mark. "I guess it is rather strange. But things were strange after the third war. Then the was the Kyuubi's attack and the death of the fourth, his wife and their little baby. I think after all we lost back then, we were sort of… ambivalent to what happened to the Uchiha, horrible as it sounds. Even though I had Uchiha friends. I used to buy a lot of stock from their herbalists. They worked with us, their kids went to school with ours. Then they were gone. I mean sure, people would talk about the upstarts – the trouble makers like Fugaku and his posse – sometimes even Madara, depending on who you were talking to. But once the compound was razed and the banners were gone and all that was left was a few ruins and relics, everyone sort of… carried on." There was a pause, then Yoshino sniffed. "I think that's a problem that this village has always suffered from."

"Not caring? I mean, lack of caring?"

"Not looking past our own noses. Not bothering to find out what else is there – who else is there past the gates of our own clans. Oh we're pleasant to each other well enough, we're civil-" Yoshino tapped her fingers on the table. "But it's not the same thing."

Shikamaru leaned against the table and raised a brow. He slid the pills into his pocket and crossed his arms. "What made you start worrying about this all of a sudden? Sasuke?"

"It's funny you know…" Yoshino mused. "It wasn't sudden at all. In fact, I'd been thinking about it for a long time. About the way the village is now; the way it changed after the war. The role that Uzumaki boy has taken on and how well he's doing, for himself and for everyone."

"He was always good at talking the talk," Shikamaru agreed. Yoshino nodded.

"He was, wasn't he? Little brat - always showing off, always clamoring for attention. Who'd have thought he'd do so well?" Yoshino's voice petered off momentarily. When she spoke again it was soft, sad. There was a heaviness in her words that was far more solid than it had been as Shikaku's funeral – not longing, regret. "Poor little kid. Left alone. Left an orphan with no one but the state looking after him and no one even wanting to look at him given the rumors as to what he was."

"Jinchuuriki?"

"Mm… Well, the vessel for the Kyuubi. That's what everyone saw him as. Not the hero he was meant to be. We just couldn't see it that way. And so we were sworn to secrecy – you know, not to tell you kids, but-" she shrugged. "That didn't seem to stop the rumors. The prejudice. And we all just… let it happen. Like someone else was pulling our strings."

"That's pretty… stupid." Shikamaru muttered. "You mean, no one ever said anything?"

"Not really. Umino san stood up for him a couple of times, but he was ignored because he was just a young chunin back then and no one listened to kids like him. Until they had to… that time…" Yoshino cleared her throat again. "You were a little younger, then. You'd just graduated from the academy and had gone to spend the night at Chouji's to celebrate. That night your dad was asked to go on a particular emergency mission. Top secret. "

"He was?" Shikamaru frowned. He'd never had a conversation like this with his mother before, but once it started, it didn't seem to want to stop. It was good. It was needed. It was the first time she'd opened up since the death of her husband and he wondered if it was something she'd wanted to get off her chest for a long time, only it had caught against the bottleneck of conformity. A problem indeed. He licked his lips. "What was the mission?"

"To find Naruto - who had apparently stolen a scroll from the Hokage's office - and detain him." Yoshino began. "Naturally it was a serious offence, him taking a scroll like that. The jutsu it contained was very powerful – it had had been sealed away for the safety of the village so of course it was imperative that they got it back. But… But Naruto was just a little boy. A little boy who probably didn't know any better. A kid who was just showing off. No one really taught him otherwise, I suppose. He just wanted to be noticed, yet Shikaku told me that some of the younger jounin who were tagging along were talking about how they'd take him down. Kill him to get the scroll back. A boy. A little boy."

"Well, he was a ninja, Mom. I mean-" Shikamaru pushed the pills into his bag. "-he wanted to be. There's responsibility there. He knew that. He knew he wasn't supposed to take the scroll."

"Did he?" Yoshino wiped her hands on a rag and started to pack up the ingredients. "Maybe one day when you have a child, you might reconsider what responsibility means to a twelve year old. Or consequences. We should have known better. All of us."

"It wasn't your fault, Mom."

"No. More than anything it's a fault in our system. A fault in the way we've learned to compartmentalize things." Yoshino looked away, running her hands over the grain of the table. She licked her lips. "We spend years looking after our own clans, caring for our own people. We ally with those who are beneficial to us, and we simply exist with those who aren't. But we're a village – at least, that's what we call ourselves. I feel like we're missing something. Like something's been forgotten and needs to be made right. It's just no one's had the courage to do it. That boy, Sasuke. I've heard a lot about him. I knew his mother, his father. His brother occasionally came to the Nara compound for congestion relief before he… Well…"

Shikamaru stared at his mother for a long moment, his hand still in his bag – fingers curling around the little envelope. He nodded slowly. "I remember. The other kids used to say they weren't allowed to talk to Naruto. Or that they should stay away from Sasuke and his family in case the Uchiha took offense to something we did. You know I didn't care about all that, Mom. It was too annoying to remember all those rules. Even Chouji didn't mind him because Sasuke used to give him his sweets and Naruto was always the last to be picked in activities rather than him. Naruto was a dumb ass, but he wasn't a bad kid. And Sasuke was just… I don't know. Haunted, I guess. Even now he looks the same. I heard from Sakura that he'd supposedly got his revenge against his brother but it doesn't look like it did him any good. I dunno what would."

"Tsunade seemed to believe in him." Yoshino murmured. "I'm not sure how much she knows about his situation – I don't know how much he'd ever tell - he's as ornery as his father. But I think, rumors aside, even if Sasuke chose to bring his condition on himself, he would never have known the consequences. He couldn't have. You wonder what might do him good? Maybe it's this."

"The fact that he's -" Shikamaru frowned. "Really? I know some people are thinking it was Orochimaru or there was some kind of concession going on, but I'm not so sure about that. What if he forced? You know... what's the word... R-"

"The end, not the means. He has a family now." Yoshino said, quickly. "No matter how they came about, he seemed very protective of them. How's that bad? How could we not give that a chance? And if he was... as you said - forced - how could we not help someone who's been through that? It seems impossible to me."

"I guess that's up to the law to decide." Shikmaru replied. But as he said it, the conviction slowly curled out of his voice. Was it up to the law? Was it really? With everything changing so much, with everything already so different? Why couldn't there be new laws? Why were they pandering so much to a system that hurt so many? He let out the breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding and straightened his jacket. "Or, I suppose, what people want to see. A criminal charged for his crimes or a man rehabilitated. Well, you know um… well, whatever Sasuke decides to be."

"I know what I'd choose. At least, I'm sure now," Yoshino said, quietly. She watched her son glance over at one of the storage shelves before reaching over to pull a small square box out from under a pile of books. He mulled over the parcel for a few moments before he drew it out and ran his fingers over the lid, thoughtfully.

"Yeah, me too."

Sliding the box into his bag, Shikamaru gave his mother a cursory wave, then trudged outside into the sunlight. His steps were dogged as usual but there was a lightness in his chest that he couldn't quite explain until he realized that there was a solution to Konoha's problem.

And it was simple. And it was right there, it always had been.


It was three o'clock in the afternoon and Sasuke was sitting outside the apartment block on a bench, staring grimly at a patch of grass. Tsunade had excused herself to finish a few jobs around the office, therefore Shizune had Mikoto inside and was watching her while she napped. While Sasuke hadn't been too keen on the sudden changing of the guards, he tended to see Shizune as an extension of Tsunade and therefore she was acceptable. Besides, he had other things to worry about. Ume's probing had bothered him; the mention of Itachi bothered him. And honor. His clan's honor. What the hell did she know? What the hell did she know about anything?

But what if she was right? What did honor mean to the dead? What did honor mean to him anymore – was it even worth worrying about now that he was turned inside out? Who would acknowledge this fortitude when no one respected him enough to appreciate it?

And then Sakura…

He didn't have a clue how to deal with Sakura. He was still numb from it. His skin crawled, his body felt… used. Violated. It wasn't the same as the Kakkou touching him, as Caliga getting his disgusting hands on his flesh, but it was unpleasant. For someone with that much ire and disrespect to examine him in such an intimate way - what the hell had happened to cause that kind of hiccup in the system? Or was it another of Kakashi's bright ideas? Sasuke was dubious, but his anger and disgust countered his suspicion. The way she'd looked at him. The way she'd touched him. She had no right. She had no fucking right. He'd made what some people might deem mistakes; he'd hurt people he was supposed to care about. He could be called a traitor, a friend-killer, an attempted murderer and he wouldn't have argued too far against it… but.

But…

They'd been at war. They were ninja. Soldiers. He'd left the front to fight his own battles and that should have been fine, but she'd refused to let it go. His business was his own but she kept pushing into it; kept thinking that her oily promises of love and devotion were something that would change a mind-set constructed over years of living amongst the scorched rubble of his memories. She had no idea and he held no responsibility to tell her. But she pushed and she pushed and how was he supposed to stop her? He'd tried being gentle. Sasuke knew he couldn't be gentle (any more), but he'd tried. He'd tried for her because she'd been a comrade – he owed her that respect. Then he'd had to make his point a little clearer and everyone got up in arms about it.

How obvious could he be? He wasn't interested; he'd never been interested. He appreciated her friendship when he was young, but enough was enough. And now she'd found the perfect vehicle to get back at him. To be able to reduce him to nothing under the guise of skill and impartial examination. If he wasn't so angry he'd almost have applauded her for it. But he wasn't an asshole and he didn't take that kind of treatment lightly. He might have been known for tricks, but he wasn't a fan of underhanded methods. Perhaps this was payback for the genjutsu? He'd used that as a last resort. Her actions… were just cruel. Just cruel.

Sasuke pushed to his feet and padded back into the apartment. Shizune received a nod, Akamaru earned a brief skritch behind the ears but ultimately Sasuke was only interested in the shower. He needed to wash Sakura's fingers off him. He needed to forget. It took an hour and by the time he'd finished, he'd scrubbed his skin pink and raw. After that, he dressed in a yukata then settled himself on the futon, merely shrugging when Shizune left, promising Tsunade's return within the hour. He didn't care. He'd honestly had enough of people for the day. The silence was pleasant. Mikoto sat with Akamaru, who was diligently watching her play in her baby gym. Sasuke lay on the futon, thumbing through one of Tsunade's romance novels. Horrific stuff.

The trio remained peaceful and undisturbed for a half hour. Then there came a knock at the door, which was weird. Tsunade didn't knock. Kakashi probably wouldn't have either (the idiot probably would have climbed through the window). It might have been Shizune, coming back for something she'd forgotten, but that was unlikely, considering a good fifteen minutes had passed since she left. The knock repeated. Sasuke got to his feet, warily, stalking over to the door to peer through the peephole.

It revealed pink.

Sasuke felt sick. He took a few steps back from the door, his hands clenching at his sides when the knock came a third time and a soft

"Sasuke?" could be heard behind the barrier of wood. Sasuke swallowed hard before he said:

"What?"

"Uh… hi?" Sakura's voice was muffled. There was the crackle of plastic and the shuffle of her feet. Sasuke found himself hyper-aware of her presence, picking up every sound.

"What do you want?" He sounded about as angry as he was feeling – so much that even Akamaru lifted his head. Sasuke held out a hand: No. He could be calm. She wasn't worth losing his temper over.

"I wanted to apologize." It came after a strangled moment of silence. Sakura seemed to be juggling her words. "Um. You know. For before."

Sasuke didn't answer her, but he didn't move away from the door. He knew she could sense him. The sole of a sandal scuffed the wooden veranda.

"Sasuke-kun I…" Sakura started. She pursed her lips, feeling her gumption draining away. She'd been so confident before. She'd had it together, but now… Now her confidence had fled and she was back to square one again. Silly, stammering Sakura. Lovesick Sakura. Stupid little pink girl. In Sasuke's presence, she was her twelve year old self, nothing more. He did this to her. He always did this to her. Sakura took a deep breath. "I-I want you to know that… that what I did before… It was very wrong. I know it was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. It was unprofessional and cruel and I'm… I'm sorry."

Silence swelled in the wake of her words. Sakura found herself trembling. The guilt was a sickness that wracked her body, drenching her in flop sweat and veritably hack sawing her vocal chords until all she could do was punch out words with an odd, hammering intonation. She must have sounded mad. Even worse than that, she'd apologized. What the hell now?

"S-sasuke-kun?"

Oh the terror. The terror of silence. The pebbling sound of awkwardness as Sakura shifted the plastic bag from one hand to another, feeling the perspiration slick and wet on the handles. She licked her lips again, again. But then the door opened and Sasuke was in front of her,

God, was he that thin? Surely he wasn't that starved-looking when he came in today. Or at that hearing. How did I not notice?

his arms crossed over his chest,

His hair's so long. It really needs cutting. And that skin… He's not pale, he's grey. Glad I brought a face wash, that'll help perk him up a little

his thin brows heavy over his eyes,

Wait… the breast. Don't tell me he has breasts bigger than mine. Does he have breasts bigger than mine? Does he have… Oh god, he has breasts. The boy I loved has breasts and a kid and he's pregnant and shut up Sakura shut up Sakura shut

"Sakura," Sasuke drawled her name. He'd always said it that way. And it always made her jump to attention.

"Y-yes?"

Heels together, butt in, boobs up, look down a little to take the focus off that billboard brow oh god is he looking at me-

Sasuke didn't move, but his eyes traveled from Sakura's face, to the bags in her hand, then back up again. Purely platonic. There were no unnecessary stops, no idling over lumps and bumps – it was just the same look Sasuke gave anyone he wasn't preparing to fight or even needed to bother listening to. Slightly distant. Bored.

"That it?"

"What?"

"Your apology."

"Uh." She wasn't prepared for a reaction. Well, she had been, but it was overtly romantic, dramatic, childish. It was tears and embraces. Even she'd known that it was pure fallacy. She swallowed. "A bit of it? Yes?"

Sasuke studied her, critically. She seemed terrified. But not scared, it wasn't the same thing. This was performance nerves, this was social anxiety. He still had that effect on her? Hadn't she grown at all?

"A bit of it?"

"Well, I mean, I don't really know what to say," Sakura continued, awkwardly. "It's been so long and all this stuff has happened. I just… I mean, after what you did-"

"After what I did." Sasuke's temperament clouded over. He'd held surprisingly well, but it was gone now. Patience drained away from him.

And Sakura seemed to blanch. "Well, yeah. It did start with that. B-because, you know, I was… angry. About what you did and how you treated us back then. I-it wasn't fair after we'd tried so hard and all I wanted-"

"Sakura," Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "This isn't about me."

"N-no, but-"

"Thank you for visiting," he wanted to be angrier. He dearly wanted to be angrier, but the acid wasn't in it. He'd been angrier others who had wronged him – hell, he'd been angrier at Naruto. But this wasn't the same thing. This wasn't the venom caused by ire, this was disappointment. It was exhaustion. He was just so damn sick of the same thing from her over and over. She'd been mad at him once – mad enough to want to kill him on her own and that had at least been interesting. This was just pathetic. He almost willed her to say something real for once, but he was really starting to wonder if that ability was there at all. Sasuke rested his hand on the door and took a step back. "But I don't accept your apology."

"B-but Sasuke-"

"I'm sure you're very busy and I'm not interested in a-" he gritted his teeth. Resentment dripped from his tone. "- follow up."

"At least take these!" Sakura blurted out, pushing the bags toward him. She bit her lip as he scrutinized the plastic shoved in front of him. He looked up, suspiciously, not willing to bite just yet. Sakura cleared her throat "It's just some staples. You know, nappies and powder and things. Although I-I guess someone gets those for you-"

"Tsunade does."

"W-well, always good to have more, right? A-and there are some things you like too. Some bathroom stuff and some food. I got your favourite snacks, a-at least the ones I knew you liked-"

"You knew?" Sasuke said, coldly. "You knew?"

"We did work together for a little while, Sasuke, give me some credit at least." Sakura reasoned, flatly. "I learned some things about you. I knew what you liked to eat and the sort of books you liked to read. Favorite foods, colours… even jokes. I picked up a thing or two, y'know"

"You never knew anything about me, Sakura. You knew what you saw. Those things are nothing, they're just fodder to fill a hole you couldn't comprehend while you tried to fix the problems that you projected onto me, that's all."

"That's not true! I loved you!" Sakura blurted out, feeling her cheeks stinging. "I did!"

"You weren't in love with me. You were in love with the idea that I felt the same way about you - that your attention was more valuable than everyone else's. You loved the idea of loving me and you thought that because you felt so strongly, I would as well. When I told you otherwise, you wouldn't listen. You were selfish. You thought you were self-sacrificing, but you were self-serving, that's all."

"W-well so were you!" Sakura moved back on the defensive, automatically. "Leaving. Turning your back on Konoha – on us! Just trying to get stronger, going to that man-"

"Is that what you thought?" Sasuke almost laughed. "That it was all about getting stronger? That my decision to leave, to seek out Orochimaru's teaching, all that…. That was just about power?"

"Yes. To kill your brother. That's what you said-"

"I said a lot of things." Sasuke stopped for a moment, listening to his own words for once. Hadn't he just uttered that very sentence to Ume only a few hours ago, verbatim? It was interesting to see it repeated in such a way, in a conversation that made so much more sense. It wasn't a conversation deflected back at him, Sakura took in the words, her mouth closing as she listened – actually listened. Sasuke reached out and took the bags. "People who are in pain can be selfish," he continued, shadowing Ume's own words to him. "It's something that I needed to keep going. You wouldn't understand. You and him? You never really understood."

"How can you say that?" Sakura flared. "After what we suffered when you left, when you… teased us! How can you say that? And Naruto… Naruto was as alone as you were. Naruto was-"

"Naruto was…" Sasuke murmured. His hand closed around the bags and he pulled them toward him, not really looking at her.

Naruto was-

Sakura tried swallowing the words that were lodged in her throat. Well, this was going swimmingly. Why was it that everything she wanted to say seemed to sit low in her chest, while all the fodder that she didn't mean to blurt out just rose up to the top, like oil through water. She was going back to comparisons. She wasn't meant to go back to comparisons, fuck it. Hadn't she learned by now?

And he was closing off again. She'd had his attention – hell, she'd had his anger for a second or two (nothing new), but it was something. Tentatively, she reached out a second time – alpine eyes shaded by those strange pink lashes. "Sasuke? I really am sorry… I didn't-"

"Good bye, Sakura," Sasuke said to the mat at his feet before he closed the door. If she protested beyond that, he didn't hear it. Sakura let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and shivered a little in the cool air. He hadn't forgiven her. She didn't even know if she deserved to be forgiven and if that was the case, then she'd have to accept it. One didn't tell Uchiha Sasuke what to do – not if you wanted him to like you. She should leave it. She should just leave it – go back to Tenten and spend the rest of the day in her bed, sleeping off the disappointment and fooling around in her underpants. Not really a substitute, just a distraction, but a good one. Tenten was good to her. Tenten was good, full stop.

But there was still something here. There was still the shadow of something and she knew it. The cold, dead silence between words – that black hole vacuum she used to feel from him after every sentence, that was gone. There was something beyond the airlock now. Something else that gave him… more. She couldn't really put it into words, nonetheless thoughts, but there was just… More.

And very suddenly, very abruptly, Sakura decided that could have just been one of the most important things she'd ever witnessed in her life.


The second knock at the door was completely unexpected.

Sasuke blinked, first at the door handle, then at the keyhole with an expression that hadn't quite settled on perturbed or annoyed and sat somewhere between, giving him a very odd look indeed. He'd only managed to put away some of the things that Sakura had brought him (milk, eggs, lemonade? Well, Tsunade might like it) and had only just managed to screw the lid back on his temper when he felt someone approach and heard the hollow rap of knuckles against wood.

Sakura again? No… There'd be the weedy voice outside the door, like air escaping a balloon, slow and pathetic. He knew the way she worked. And he was still angry. Still angry that he wasn't that angry, just dull. Numb. No, not numb – he knew numb, this was something different. This was disappointment. Somehow, it felt worse.

The knock came again and Sasuke glanced over at Akamaru. Then ninken just raised his ears a little as if to say

Well, I ain't expectin' anyone.

And so Sasuke's feet found their way to the door and before he knew what was happening, he was opening it. Shikamaru greeted him with an incline of the jaw, his hands mere outlines in his pockets. Sasuke felt dread lick over his spine momentarily, before the jounin said

"Hey."

"Hey," Sasuke replied, unsure as to whether he should be searching for a weapon or holding out his hand to shake. Neither seemed appropriate. Shikamaru had only ever been a faint blip on his radar, but he'd known of the guy for a long time. He remembered he was terribly lazy. He also remembered that he was fucking sharp as a tack. A tack balanced on the edge of a knife. Dark brows sank a little. "Why're you here?"

Social pleasantries had never been Sasuke's thing, but luckily Shikamaru held the same view on filler conversation. In fact, he appreciated someone who could get straight to the point. Digging around in his pocket, he produced the nausea pills and held them out for Sasuke to take. The Uchiha looked more surprised than he'd ever seen in his life.

"Mom made you some pills for if your stomach's upset," he explained. "Tends to happen with kids, you know? Er... pregnancy. So... yeah."

Sasuke appeared to recover, though his hackles were up. He stared at the bag in Shikamaru's hand like he was preparing for it to explode. "She made them?" He asked, after a moment. Of course, Sasuke was familiar with the Nara's medical prowess, but he wasn't so comfortable with the idea of being given medication out of the blue and off-prescription. He eyed the package, cagily, hesitant to take it. As if reading his mind, Shikamaru sighed.

"It's not poison."

"That'd be stupid. I'm immune to most."

"Really? How's that?" Shikamaru said, not missing a beat. "That a freebie from Orochimaru?"

"It's just training," Sasuke said, carefully. "Like everything else. You build up an immunity; you work on it."

"To poisons? Doesn't that take years?"

"It should," Sasuke felt his lips curl. Sneering? No… smiling. "I'm persistent."

To his amazement, Shikamaru smiled back. Just a little. More of a smirk, really. The tension seemed to dissipate so tangibly, both ninja could almost hear the scrape as their defenses were sheathed. It was a weird sensation. And then there was calm. A kind of nubile, awkward calm that made ninja more nervous than if they were staring down the curve of a blade. Shikamaru rolled his shoulders.

"No shit," he stated, raising his non-existent brows. Sasuke shrugged.

"Wouldn't have guessed, would you?"

Was Sasuke actually making a joke? It was so unexpected, Shikamaru almost wondered if he was talking to a bunshin. And he was still not taking the offered pills, not that he could really be blamed. Shikamaru winced. God, this was a lot of work for just a simple delivery. He almost regretted it, save for the fact that Sasuke hadn't closed the door in his face and was actually making an attempt at conversation. The Sasuke of half a decade ago would have just taken the pills and closed the door and whether he used them or not was a mystery to remain unsolved. This Sasuke – this new one, this wild card version – seemed to want something else. Or was that a need?

"Well, anyway," Shikamaru said, breaking the silence around them that was just standing a little too close for comfort. "They're a special order. A little weaker so they won't hurt the kid, but good enough to put a damper on most heartburn as well as that sea-sick sensation you get when the it starts kicking. Ask Kurenai, she'll vouch for them – practically ate them like candy up until she gave birth. Take 'em or don't, it doesn't really matter. Mom was just worried, that's all. Two before each meal – don't go over eight a d-"

"Thank you." Sasuke interrupted. More blurted than anything. His hands closed around the bag and he observed the gift for a second, before he looked up again. How was he supposed to do this? How did he… talk? It should be easy, but… "Uh… thanks. I'll be sure to try them. I get a little sick in the mornings sometimes."

"That's pretty normal." Shikamaru told him. Sasuke cleared his throat, inelegantly.

"It is? Do you… have a kid or something?"

"What? No!" The Nara boy spluttered. "No, no. That's… I helped a lot with Kurenai's kid. You know, K-… Shino and Hinata's sensei. Remember?"

Remember? Like he put stock in anyone other than himself or Naruto back then. But he did, didn't he? Those times when he thought he was forgetting. When he was almost just like the rest of them. When he could have been something other than his brother's killer. He could have been anything.

"Yeah, Kurenai. Yeah, I remember. She was a genjutsu expert, wasn't she? So she had a kid?"

Shikamaru nodded. "Yeah. Little girl. Mirai."

"And you're her…" Sasuke seemed to be foraging for a term. Shikamaru shrugged.

"Godfather? I guess?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you care?"

Shikamaru shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "How do you mean?"

"She wasn't your teacher," Sasuke reasoned. "So why do you care? Why'd you get to be the Godfather? Doesn't she have family. Or someone from her clan? Isn't that how it works?"

"I dunno. I think it's more to do with the people you trust more than family. Sometimes people have more faith in their friends more than they do their own blood." Shikamaru pursed his lips, thoughtfully. "We were both close to Asuma. I think that's why. Might be some reminder there or something."

"Asuma?" Sasuke spoke only momentarily before he realized. "Oh. Right. Um… Sorry." He didn't even know why he was sorry. It seemed like the right thing to say. Why was it the right thing to say was always the lamest when it broke surface? Shikamaru just smiled again. This time, it was broad.

He really did look like his teacher.

"S'ok. Listen," he said, pulling something else out of his bag. A square parcel, about the thickness of a dictionary, he held it out toward Sasuke, who took it this time, glancing over the cover. "I gotta go, I left Chouji at the Barbecue restaurant and I'm pretty certain he's going eat the wallpaper if I don't get back soon. But yeah. That's for you too. Dunno if you ever played Shōgi, but if you ever wanted to learn… you know. Here."

"I… thanks." Sasuke stared at the neat little travel set. The pieces shuffled invitingly inside the box when he moved his hand. "I used to play with my neighbor. Kinda out of practice..."

"It's just a spare set I had lying around," Shikamaru shrugged again. God, did Sasuke actually look happy? He almost didn't know what to do. "Nothin' special. So yeah… Maybe have a read of the rules again and… I'll um. I could um… I'll come by tomorrow if you wanna try a game?"

Sasuke stared at him. "You want to..?"

"Yeah," Shikamaru said, nonchalantly. "It's one of the things I don't find annoying. 'Specially if you get a good challenger. Something tells me you'd be pretty good. I dunno. Asuma always said he found good Shōgi players in the Uchiha... Guess I'm keen to find out. That be ok?"

"Yeah." Sasuke agreed, quietly. "Guess so. I'm... home after three."

"Three o'clock then."

"Yeah." Sasuke smiled again, feeling his fingers tingle a little. Nerves maybe? He wasn't sure. "Hn. You'd better get back to Akimichi, huh? Uzumaki always used to complain that he'd put the price up on a shared dinner more than anyone else."

"Mm, but if you ever invited him to a potluck, he'd bring food enough for everyone three times over," Shikamaru pushed his hands into his pockets again. "He might fight you for the best meat, but man, if it runs out, you can be sure he's getting more for everyone."

"Oh," Sasuke said, wondering what Chouji would bring to a potluck. Mountains of steak? Bags of ribs? He leaned against the doorjamb. "Hey… Uh… There are guards down by the gate, right?"

"Yeah," Shikamaru swayed on his heels. "So?"

"How'd you get past them?"

"What do you mean?" Shikamaru frowned slightly. "You're not in Solitary. People can come visit. They just have to sign in, is all."

"Oh." This time, Sasuke really was surprised. "I thought… I guess I kinda thought the guard would be… stricter. Since um… Well, you know."

"What? Your proficiency for disappearing?" Shikamaru raised a brow. "I guess if they thought you were gonna run, you'd've done it by now. Or you wouldn't have even come here in the first place."

"No. Not that," Sasuke shook his head. "After what I pulled… I thought… you know, being a nukenin and all…And-"

"Whatever you're thinking one of the rookie nine might do?" Shikamaru stopped him in his tracks. "You're wrong. Very wrong. Ok? Just don't." There was a wave of the hand as Sasuke made to continue and Shikamaru snorted. "You're an asshole, Uchiha. I mean, you were. You were a stuck up, self-centered prick and you were fucking talented enough that no one ever called you on it. But time's passed. And a lot of us realized that all we ever knew of you was just the little bit you allowed us to see. The way you've come back now? Whatever happened to you, whatever drove you back home or even if you just made the decision without any influence at all… it's shown us more. And that kinda tells me that Konoha meant more to you than you made out. And what we thought of you meant something as well. So don't go thinking that just because you took a shit where you live, we're gonna rub your nose in it. We're better than that."

Sasuke just blinked.

"And you'd better brush up on your play," Shikamaru continued as he turned to leave. "I know I can paste you, but I do kinda want a fair fight."

"You know you can beat me, huh?" Sasuke murmured, pleased. Shikamaru just grunted.

"Damn straight. Then again, there's always something satisfying in being proven wrong."

He left with a nod, a slight incline of the chin, and Sasuke watched the stairs long after the sound of Shikamaru's had finished echoing against the wood. Then he made his way back inside and spent the rest of the afternoon attempting to relearn shogi and recall the old strategies he used to play.

When he opened to door to bid Akamaru goodnight (and a final grudging congratulation for the eight games he'd won – yes, yes, he'd ask Tsunade to buy him some pork rinds for his winnings. Ninken didn't consider a game worthwhile unless there was an appreciable objective, so it seemed), there was a small, elegant bouquet of white heather sitting by the door. This time, Sasuke just smiled a little and brought them inside.

He considered them good luck when he finally won against Tsunade in a best-out-of-six match.

Tsunade said that flipping daisies had nothing to do with it and that he was a damn sneaky bastard.

Sasuke knew better than to call her a sore loser.


Somewhere in the universe, Naruto held Sasuke's dying body, cradling his friend, his love, his life in his arms as he screamed so hard the stars toppled from their perches and tumbled into the darkness. Konoha crumbled, smashed by nine great tails, paws that shook the earth and a roar that was not quite a fox, nor was it quite human. Blood ran in rivers. The twisted bodies of the Leaf scattered across the ground in piles of flesh, bone and ash. The genjutsu wracked the very fabric of reality, the violation so pure, so deep and so powerful that time and space couldn't hold it. Finding a sudden surge of incomparable energy suddenly thrust into its hands that it had nowhere to place, the universe did what the universe does best.

It created.

Six hundred miles away from Konoha, in the deepest forests surrounding the fringe of Kumogakure, something moved in the darkness and belched into life. Something curled in the womb of shadow and earth that surrounded it, running the tongue that it found it had along recently discovered teeth. Something tested a voice, and the voice grated:

"Sssssssasuke…"


A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well here we are, another chapter of... lengthiness. The editing is a little meh I'm afraid, so I hope it reads all right. Pretty keen to start setting up some of the rest of our Konoha crew and finally getting Sasuke some company. Naruto's waiting in the wings, he isn't far away so for those ACHING for a reunion, it'll be soon. SOOON. I promise. I'm not going to wait until the last chapter, haha - this fic definitely doesn't work that way. We're in for a long run here, folks.

So from now posts will be a little more sporadic. I'm taking a break for a week or two - just got to get work settled and my brain in order before we keep trucking along. Any questions, feel free to direct them to my Tumblr - I'm usually on there at least once a day, but until next time, thank you for your support, your comments and everything you do. You guys are great and when I do get to read your messages back to me, they make my day 3