And The Winner Is...

by TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: Couldn't decide on a disclaimer cliché. So I'll toss in a few. I don't own LWD, nor am I a Canadian TV writer. If I did, it'd be longer, with more music, and would probably be on at a consistent time slot.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Part One: Derek

Casey got onto her knees with such violence that the bed jostled. Derek groaned.

"You're going to enter that contest," she said. "You've been following me around for weeks with your camera, the one that your Dad bought for a guilt inducing amount of money, I might add. You are not about to give up because you got a little freaking competition. What kind of wuss are you?"

Casey was playing the wuss card, but he wasn't taking it seriously.

"What happened to 'I don't do jealousy'?"

Derek said nothing.

"Derek," Casey said. "Just because Edwin's pretty good—"

"Really good."

"Really good," Casey said. "Doesn't mean you're not."

"I know that," Derek said. "I just feel like an ass."

"Which would be unusual, how?" Casey said. "Oh come on, stop looking at me like that. You've got some good stuff yourself and you know it. You just hate thinking that it might not be as easy as it usually is for you."

"What do you mean easy?" Derek asked. "Who said anything was easy? Edwin has always been better than me at most things. I thank God every day that he kinda sucks at sports or else I'd have nothing. The only consolation I've had is that no one's told him yet. Now the cat's outta the bag. He's gonna find out."

"And if he does, will you die?" Casey said.

"Meltiiinnnggg," Derek croaked. When Casey didn't smile, he said. "Okay, so no, I won't die, but that doesn't mean that it won't kinda hurt."

"Does everything have to be a competition with you, Derek?" Casey asked.

"Not everything," Derek said.

"Everything," Casey said. "You, to this day, hold bets over who takes the fastest shower, and who can throw the most sock balls into the hamper! You're nuts!"

"We're guys," Derek said.

Casey laughed. "You act like that explains everything."

"Doesn't it?"Derek said. "And anyway, you're acting like I shouldn't be competitive with my little brother, but in the same breath you're telling me that I should be competitive with him. Which is it?"

"What?"Casey asked. "I am not saying that."

"You are," Derek said.

"Crap," Casey said. Derek cracked up. Casey smacked his chest. "What I mean is..." She began.

"What do you mean," Derek interrupted. "I could use a good Casey to English translation if such a thing is possible, I mean it's hard enough to understand you in the best of—"

"De-rek!" Casey said. "Stop trying to turn this into a Casey is Nuts type of conversation! I'm trying to be serious here. I see you strutting around here like cock of the walk—"

"Cock?" he interrupted. She continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"And I knew you were faking it to an extent, because no one on Earth is that confident, at least without being brain dead, and while I had my doubts at first, I think I've been able to ascertain that you're not brain dead, that you're pretty damn smart, in fact, so I knew you were full of it."

"Full of what?" Derek teased.

"You know what you're full of," Casey said. "But what you don't know is how great you are and how great you can be. You don't know yourself at all. You have no idea what you're capable of, but I'll tell you what. We do. Sam knows, I know. Your Mom, my Mom, your Dad. Lizzie, Edwin, Marti, should I go on?"

"Please don't," he said. He never knew how to react to stuff like this. One couldn't just smirk it off and say something wiseass like "Of course you should go on. You should go on all day, in fact." Not with Casey anyway.

"You know the best way to get me to shut up?" Casey asked. And of course he did. He rolled over and planted a kiss on her mouth. She pushed him off.

"I was gonna say, Mr. Gun Jumper," Casey said. "That the best way to shut me up is to prove me wrong. Promise that you're going to enter the contest, and let whatever happens happen."

"Then can I kiss you?" he asked. Again she didn't smile. "Okay, okay. I guess I have nothing to lose."

"Duh," she said. "Now you may kiss me."

Part Two: Lizzie.

Edwin was in a weirdly good mood.

Okay, they'd eaten off of paper plates, so there'd been little clean-up, and it had taken a little less bribery than usual to get Marti to go to bed, and okay, a good rerun of SNL was on, but that wasn't it. He was beaming. It was great to see, but Lizzie was dying of curiosity to see what was putting that look on his face.

She put her head on his shoulder and they watched TV in silence for a bit. He laughed at all kinds of stuff that wasn't actually funny until Lizzie took her head off of him.

"Hey," Edwin said, trying to put her head back where it belonged. She got out of the way.

"Am I going to have to chase you?" Edwin said, one eyebrow up. Suddenly she felt like playing, too.

"Maybe," she said and squealed out of the way as he made a grab.

He chased her into the kitchen and around the island, then out the door and into the yard.

"Give up now," he said.

"Yeah right," she said, breaking into a run. She's always been able to outrun him, so she didn't think it would be much trouble to have him give chase for a little while then let him catch her after a respectable amount of time had passed. But she hadn't accounted for his most recent growth spurt, and was therefore completely surprised when he tackled her.

"Oof," she said, rolling over to face him.

"Gotcha," he said. He moved in for the kiss.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Casey said from the doorway. Lizzie could see Derek laughing right behind her.

"Do you need me to explain what they're doing, Case?"

"Zip it," Casey said to Derek, who continued to laugh. "I heard the back door slam and I thought someone was breaking in or something."

"Or something," Derek said.

"Anyway," Casey said. "It's dangerous out here at night."

"And buggy," Derek said. "A little wormy, too, maybe. You're gonna have to change out of those clothes or else you'll have worms and stuff crawl into your ears while you sleep and eat your brain. I mean I'm no expert, but I've heard of that happening."

"Ew," Casey said.

"Ew," Derek agreed. Edwin laughed, and Lizzie tried to glare, but Edwin's laugh was just a little more infectious than usual tonight, so she got the giggles, too.

"Seems like you've had first-hand experience with worms in the brain, actually, so you can't pass it off on a friend of a friend," Lizzie said.

"It would explain a lot," Casey said. She tried to peek in his ear. "Ew, something just waved at me in there!"

"I wuv you too," Derek said, wrapping his arms around her. He tried to plant a sloppy loud kiss on her, at one point waggling his tongue, but she put up a fight.

"De-rek," she said.

"What" he said. "Not in front of the children?"

"Is this grossing you out as much as it's grossing me out?" Edwin said, not exactly meaning it.

"Yep," Lizzie said. It might have been giving her ideas actually.

"We should get lost," Edwin said. "Way too many geese hang out on this lawn anyway."

"Oh my God," Lizzie said, jumping up. If anything in the world was going to get her off the grass, it was the threat of animal droppings. People were pretty good about cleaning up after their dogs in the neighborhood, but you just couldn't keep ahead of the geese. "I think I need another shower," she said.

"Nothing got on you," Edwin said. He twisted around, trying to check his own butt by the porchlight. Looked like a dog trying to chase his tail. "How bout me?"

"You're okay," Lizzie said.

"Maybe just to be on the safe side, though," Edwin said, the grin of the Devil himself spreading across his face. Lizzie decided to go with it.

"Yeah maybe we do need a shower," Lizzie said. She put an arm around Edwin's shoulders and led him in. They were halfway up the stairs before Derek and Casey caught on.

"Wait a second!" Derek yelped, still not in complete control of his voice.

They ran up the rest of the way, both laughing. They went toward their respective rooms to change into their pjs, but before they got there, they ran into Marti on her way back from the bathroom.

"We didn't wake you up, did we Smarti?" Edwin asked, guilty.

"Nope," Marti said.

"You sure?" Edwin said.

"Uh-huh," Marti said. "Why? What were you doing?"

Lizzie had the distinct feeling that Marti knew exactly what they were doing. Her window looked out directly over the yard.

"Nothing," Edwin squeaked. Marti's smile widened. Lizzie blushed.

"You must really be tired, though, huh Marti?" Edwin asked, nodding his head.

Way to lead the witness, Edwin. Lizzie thought.

"Whatever, Edwin," Marti said, going back to her room. "And Edwin," she said, turning back to him from her doorway.

"Yeah, Smarti?"

"What's the Champagne Room?"

Edwin paled. "The.." he began, then cleared his throat and began again. "The Champagne Room?"

"Where'd you hear about that, Marti?" Lizzie asked.

"Didn't you see it?" Marti said. "There's post its on your door and the games closet and the bathroom," she said pointing to each. Lizzie'd noticed a flash of yellow on the games closet door, but hadn't stopped to look at it.

"And they all say 'Champagne Room.' " Marti finished.

Lizzie grabbed the one off of the closet door and the door to her own bedroom. She decided then and there that she really hoped that Derek enjoyed his Chinese food because it was sure to be his last meal.

"So?" Marti asked. "What's the Champagne Room?"

"It's—" Edwin tried. He squinched his eyes shut, trying to think fast.

"Something out of one of those books Casey reads," Lizzie lied.

Marti wrinkled her nose. "Oh, okay," she said, and went back to her room.

Lizzie pulled a still pale Edwin back into her room, shutting the door. Edwin sat on the floor.

"I'm gonna kill him," Edwin said.

"How dare he get us back," Lizzie joked.

"How'd he even hear about the champagne room thing?" Edwin whispered.

"Gives new and disturbing meaning to the phrase 'Big Brother' doesn't it?" Lizzie said.

This was when Edwin started laughing. Lizzie joined right in.

"That asshole," Edwin gasped. "We gotta get him back."

"How?" Lizzie asked.

"Dunno," Edwin said. "We can put up our own sign on the bathroom door, just in time for Dad and Nora to come home."

"Would they get it?" Lizzie asked.

"Dad would," Edwin said. "We can make it look real professional and laminate it. Then I can hide in the games closet with the camera and get some stills of Dad's face when he reads it. Or we can put it up a little earlier and get shots of Derek's face when he sees it. If we're lucky, Casey'll be in the shot too. We can really bring out the red of her face on the computer."

"You're such a paparazzo," Lizzie said.

"Nah," Edwin said. "Their shots are all grainy and at weird angles and stuff. My shots look good. I can make it look like National Geographic."

"Yeah, okay," Lizzie said. "There is that. Even Derek said your pics came out good."

"Yep he did," Edwin said. His voice was just a little too nonchalant to fool Lizzie.

"Is that why you've been in such a good mood?"

"Huh?" Edwin said. "No."

"Oh, it so is," Lizzie said. "Your brother, your older brother, also known as God, paid you a compliment."

Edwin laughed. "You're nuts."

"Yeah," Lizzie said. "Says you."

"Tease me all you want woman," Edwin said. "I know the truth."

He chased her around the bed until she got her door open and they both collided directly with Derek.

"Thought you two were changing clothes?" Derek asked.

He sent them to their respective bedrooms, stationing himself outside of Edwin's door as Casey stood watch outside of Lizzie's. Casey winked at Lizzie before she shut her door.

"Hurry up and change. There's a movie coming on after SNL. We can finish the Sesame Noodles," Casey said.

The four of them stayed up till about 3am watching TV and decimating the leftovers.