Chapter 29: Like a heart needs a beat…
Authors note: SO I didn't get an early start as I hoped, I had to hurry and pack so I am now starting it. My goal is to get it up tomorrow but thank you to those who reviewed. It made me more then excited to get started on this chapter. Thank you very much my readers! Special thanks to
OneWorld-OneDream: Yes poor Rin… but at the same time Brave Rin. Poor Sesshy poo his feelings are really brought out into the open for everyone. The only one he cares about, and the only one to ever really show him REAL love and affection just died for him and he wasn't able to stop it or bring her back? Talk about powerless aye?
Sesshomaru420: Sorry to make you so sad and leave it there! I had to leave something some what unforgettable for the moment. I am glad you liked it! But I am back and here it goes, I am not even going to check it (as usual) so I can just get it up to you!
Mistress Ayako: Your review made me laugh and smile. That's funny you called someone at your camp Sagoe… I hope they didn't take too much offense to it. Yes vent I understand… and Halder is an well to say it plainly some what of an ass. But he is just very confused, (remember he doesn't know about Sesshomaru and Rin) so he thinks if he just leaves her for Sagoe, which would be unacceptable, Sesshomaru would surely kill him or attack his city. Anywho thank you for your comment, but yes perhaps Sagoe deserves someone better… but we love who we love. As Rin and Kagome has shown D thank you much for your reviews! They keep me going!
Thanks guys! I appreciate all the support! It really keeps my story alive!
Rin lay on the table cold and lifeless as an orange red pulse came fluttering through. The healers screamed and hid as the warm pulse shook the room and Rin's bed. Rin's arm twitched as her heart let out a tiny beat. One of the nurses witnessed standing up slowly making her way to inspect the body. The others watched her as they crouched hiding from the previous red pulses being sent their way. Even though the glowing red pulses had gone away still a red aura enveloped Rin… the deepest sadness radiated off of it.
Rin… something whispered to her as she wondered the lonely field towards a pathway where many others met up to walk the lonely white paved road. Rin inspected the weeping people as she got onto the road. They were all translucent… like herself. That was when Rin realized she was dead, tears flooded her eyes like the others… she could feel their pain. So many things were left unsaid.
"Sesshomaru," Rin cried as she inspected her hand standing in the road as others watched her passing by.
"This way child," an older man said trying to coax her to follow. Rin could not speak through her tears all she could do was cry and shake her head no, "there is no going back. We must go face judgment… this is no place to stay."
"I'm not ready," Rin said as she looked back at where she had awaken when her body had fallen incredibly limp and the pain went away.
"No one ever is child," the old man said holding out a hand and patting Rin's when she finally hesitantly took it. Together they made their way slowly towards where the giant white light grew larger and larger.
--
Sesshomaru stood in the wind with his eyes closed trying to find her scent anywhere he could. The only images he could see in his head were the ones he had just witnessed as he ignored her final wishes… a simple expression of affection for her sacrifice. Her final sacrifice.
"Damn it!" Sesshomaru spat letting his hand fly taking down another tree which fell down alongside its many destroyed brothers. Damn it, he thought as he turned to see Inuyasha standing off in the distance, "What do you want?"
"We are planning her... the burial," Inuyasha said bravely, since he was the only one brave enough to come collect the very unstable Sesshomaru.
"So soon," Sesshomaru hissed not daring to turn around to reveal his water logged eyes, "her body has barely gone cold…"
"Her body was going cold when I brought her back Sesshomaru. There was nothing they could do," Inuyasha said waiting for an attack.
"It's my fault," Sesshomaru growled more to himself then Inuyasha, "she would still be alive if it weren't for me. If I had told her sooner, she would have never followed me… if I hadn't brought that youkai bitch into the castle she wouldn't have been threatened, if I hadn't made her feel unloved. Perhaps she wouldn't have excepted Halder, and if I hadn't interfered with them… she would have let go and never come after me. If only I didn't close my eyes for that second I would have seen her coming, I would have seen her about to take the attack and I could have…"
"Could have what Sesshomaru? Pushed her out of the way and left her there unprotected for him to do with as he pleased? She loved you enough to be that brave," Inuyasha said a little skeptical of his older brothers emotional out-letting. Sesshomaru had never been so talkative ESPECIALLY to Inuyasha, "she was a woman in love, and she wanted to be worthy of your love."
"I didn't tell her," Sesshomaru growled again closing his eyes crumpling both hands together, "I loved her… before she died. I wanted to believe she would make it… and in my own pride I didn't tell her. I never tell her… until it's too late."
"Well go say your goodbyes before its too late Sesshomaru," Inuyasha turned to leave his brother with his final words. Sesshomaru sighed before glancing back to where his brother once stood. He decided it was time to face the truth, he would go and at least say his goodbyes.
--
The ladies watched as the red glow began to pulse more and more. Another thump in her chest, but no consciousness. They all crowded around her unsure of what to do, would she mysteriously come back to life? Or was she going to remain dead? Was there anything they could do to help her through the struggle?
"Get Sagoe we need all the able hands we can get," the original nurse who had gone to her demanded of a younger nurse.
"Yes mam," the girl bowed and ran off after Sagoe.
"Are you alright?" Sagoe asked Halder who sat in his tent laying his head on his hand. He moved his head to look up at the voice who had caught his attention.
"What are you doing here Sagoe?" Halder asked looking down and away from her. Sagoe looked at him sympathetically.
"I came to check on you milord," Sagoe said knowing he was probably finally getting the full blow of Rin's death.
"You know well that you do not have to call me that at all. You've been a big part of my life for so long Sagoe," Halder sighed, "you are better off without me…"
"Why do you say such things!" Sagoe yelled angrily, "I am safer with you! I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for you!"
"Everything around me seems to disappear," Halder said hiding his face from her, "I don't know if I ever loved her Sagoe, but I did care for her. I was afraid of letting anyone close Sagoe, and I don't know… but if I hadn't been so hasty I wouldn't have gotten hurt and…"
"You didn't know it would happen! If you hadn't gone to rescue Soton he would be dead and probably me as well," Sagoe shot out before realizing what she said, "not that our lives are more valuable then Lady Rin's."
"You know your lives mean the world to me there fore I take no offense to that statement," Halder said rubbing his forehead, "I don't know what to do anymore…"
"I know my… I know Halder. I am so sorry for your loss she was an amazing woman," Sagoe said thinking back to her short but some what pleasant time with Rin.
"Yes she was and it is a terrible loss. I would say for what cause, but I know it was for the greater good. Naraku is gone, and now the world is a better place," Halder said as Sagoe walked closer to place a hand on Halder's shoulder.
"You will be a great king," Sagoe said smiling a watery eyed smile at him as he didn't turn his head to look at her only placed his hand on hers.
"You deserve so much that no one is good enough for you," Halder said softly trying to hide the tears in his voice. His heart was being pulled in so many ways.
"Sagoe!" a young woman's voice yelled down the rows of tents. Sagoe turned her head slipping her hand from Halder who did not move from his slumped position.
"Tsumi," Sagoe said loud enough the girl was able to find the tent, "what is it?"
"It's Lady Rin," the girl gasped making Halder spin around to look at them.
"What about her?" Sagoe asked grabbing the girls shoulders.
"I was told to search you out for your assistance Sagoe. It seems there is yet a heartbeat again, although it is faint," the younger healer known as Tsumi panted as Sagoe looked back at Halder who was apparently listening.
"I am on my way," Sagoe nodded to him hoping to ease his pained heart. With speed they began their way towards the tent where Rin's once lifeless body laid in peace.
Sagoe reached the tent and saw Rin's body glowing a bright red color and images of that same aura came back to her thoughts. Apparently it did so to Halder because a look of suspicion and hope rose in his eyes. Sagoe didn't need any other hint… she knew she was hanging on for or because of Sesshomaru.
"Get Sesshomaru," Sagoe commanded Tsumi ignoring Halder's glare.
"No need milady he is coming up the hill," the young girl said pointing as the pulse got higher and her heart beat stronger.
"Is…" Halder didn't know what to say or question. All he knew was that they shared the same red pulse.
"Sesshomaru!" Sagoe yelled looking at Halder who stared at her trying to pry her eyes for answers… but somewhere he hoped for many things, "Sesshomaru!!"
"What," he growled not daring to enter the tent. The pulse hugging Rin got stronger and wilder with his presence.
"It's Rin," Sagoe said finally breaking eye contact with Halder. Halder turned to leave unable to stay and get his hopes up. Sesshomaru looked at her blankly for a moment before taking a step forward and glancing in. Rin's red pulsing aura was lighting up the room, "it grows bigger with every step toward her you make."
"What is it? What are you doing to her?" Sesshomaru asked hopeful but not showing it, "are you hurting her?"
"No Lord Sesshomaru this is all between you two," Sagoe said showing what she meant through her eyes. He looked from her to Rin who still looked lifeless, "perhaps all she needs is a little shove?"
"What is this?" Sesshomaru asked as he took a step forward and the red flashed out blinding everyone in the room but him. He could hear the heart in her chest slowly beating a little. A linger of hope.
"Bring her back Sesshomaru… she thinks she is dead. Bring her back," Sagoe said holding a hand over her eyes to cover them from the brightness.
"Rin," he said as the girls left the room to leave them alone, "wake up Rin."
--
Wake up Rin, whispered throughout the wind. Rin shivered as the breeze made goose bumps.
"Come along child," the old man said patting her hands.
"I can't," Rin said feeling his presence, "he's here I have to find him…"
"It's nothing," the old man said looking around, "no one alive walks this straight my dear."
"Then why do I hear his voice?" Rin asked searching the lonely road through the half living spirits.
--
"Rin," Sesshomaru said touching her arm making it accumulate little bumps, "I walk the streets alone now without you Rin, and I hate being on my own after all the time I spent with you. Everyone can see that I fell and I am going through hell thinking about you somewhere else or with someone else."
--
"No! I can hear him!" she yelled hearing his voice and everything he said to her. She ran pushing past the crowd, "Sesshomaru!"
--
"Sesshomaru," she whispered softly.
"Rin? Talk to me," he said grabbing her hand, "I'm so sorry. How did we go wrong? It was so good and now it's gone. Come back to me Rin. I am tired of praying our paths will cross and that what we had isn't lost… because you are always in my heart and thoughts."
--
"Sesshomaru!" Rin cried out finally stopping her frantic running, "I love you…"
--
"I love you," Rin whispered softly turning her head.
"Rin come back to me!" he said frantically feeling his heart pound as the pulse began to fade, "you will always be in my life even if I am not in your life because your in my memory! I'm sorry I didn't tell you before you left…"
--
"Where are you?" Rin cried out sagging her shoulders frantic to find him. She looked down at her translucent body.
You when you remember me and before you send me free, listen please. Somebody wants you, somebody needs you… somebody dreams about you every single night. Somebody can't breathe without you its lonely, somebody hopes that someday you will see that somebody is me. That somebody is me Rin… Rin… Sesshomaru's words whispered through the air.
"Sesshomaru!!" Rin screamed out franticly feeling her body shake as things became more visible. Her heart reappeared beating wildly in her body.
"He calls for you child," the old man said smiling at her, "your child inside of you is still living… so it is not your time yet. His love for you is too strong for even death this time, and that combined with the child's heart beating inside of you, well, you are being pulled back to life. Go to him…"
"That can't be true I can't be pregnant," Rin said looking at the older man who seemed familiar.
"My dearest granddaughter… as long as I have waited in this place to bring you back to our family I know a thing or two. I can see it there inside of you, so small and just created… it will not be able to be sensed by youkai or hanyou for another month or so. But it is in there…" the old man smiled making her look at him in shock, "as grieved as I am that you will not be joining us, I am happy for you that it is not yet your time. You have much more to live."
"But you're my…" Rin didn't know what to say, "I don't…"
"Do not speak just go," he said pushing her making her hit the ground before waking up in the bed where Sesshomaru blinked down curiously at her.
"Rin?" he asked as she glanced around.
"Grandpa?" she asked looking around before seeing Sesshomaru looking down at her with a confused look on his face.
"No Rin," Sesshomaru said looking down at her his hard expression softening, "it's…"
"Sesshomaru," Rin said grabbing at him painfully wrapping her arms around him. Sesshomaru stared down at her astonished by what happened. He could smell fresh blood and realized just because she was alive didn't mean she was alright.
"You need some medical help," Sesshomaru said turning to leave over whelmed and unable to know what to do, "Sagoe!"
"Yes Lord Sesshomaru," Sagoe ran in from his loud yell.
"She needs treatment. See to it she is alright," Sesshomaru demanded as he walked out and too his tent. On the way he glanced over to see Halder glaring at him. Sesshomaru let it slide this time for he didn't know what to do.
While in his tent Sesshomaru paced for hours waiting for news on Rin. But his biggest worry was how to let Rin know in such a state he was going home and she was to marry Halder. He couldn't bring her along with him anymore, she was too much a threat to him… and he was worst a threat to her. She was too much of a worry on his shoulders now at her age, many would get at him threw her. It wasn't Halder she came after and Halder would surely stash her away in the castle to sadly whither away… but safely. He growled at the thought of Rin raising his children, of Rin sharing the same room let alone bed as Halder made him want to tare Halder's head from his body. He hated himself for making such a choice.
It was not an easy choice that Sesshomaru had made, but it was one he saw most fit for her. He loved her, and yet for once he would not be selfish. Though his heart would stagger not wanting to leave so it may stay with her… he knew it would rest better knowing she was safe. Besides it was unethical for a youkai to take a human mate, so he reminded himself over and over… he could possibly lose his lands in a war at such a preposterous act in their eyes.
"Lord Sesshomaru," the young youkai healer said as she walked. Tsumi made sure to bow respectfully, "Lady Rin is well and wishes a word with you."
"Tell her I am busy," Sesshomaru said staring at the wall of his tent, "tell her we will talk when she is well."
"Yes milord," Tsumi said bowing and taking off for the tent. Rin did not take this news lightly.
"Tell his majesty I demand his presence now," Rin said remembering that technically she was still soon to be queen, if she could help it.
"Yes milady," Tsumi said nervously.
"Let me handle it," Sagoe said glancing over at Rin and nodding respectfully to her. Rin nodded at Sagoe who took off for Sesshomaru's tent.
"Why do you not go to her?" Sagoe asked angrily to angry to give him his proper title.
"Do you not know how to show respect to your superiors?" Sesshomaru asked snapping back at her.
"I do not respect those who do not deserve it," Sagoe snapped, "to those who are being called by the only ones who TRULY love them. The only one to love you…"
"Then you should not show respect to Halder as well," Sesshomaru snapped turning his gaze to her finally, "you show him respect when you've been by his side so long and then has the audacity to be marrying Rin. What kind of man is he?"
"The kind you were about to give Rin to," Sagoe snapped back angrily, "my lord."
"The kind I am giving her to as an alliance treaty," Sesshomaru said looking away.
"Yeah I bet you can't look at anyone let alone yourself how could you do that!" Sagoe yelled angrily, "my lord!"
"I'm not doing it
for you! You are not my priority and neither is your people!
Sesshomaru yelled, "this is for Rin! I care nothing of your
feelings or…"
"Or apparently Rin's! She died to prove her love for you! And this is how you repay her! You don't deserve her! MY LORD," Sagoe yelled as she stormed out fumingly but stopping at the door, "I or any of my people will not do your dirty work. You can tell her yourself. And she said she demands your presence. As the future queen to Halder you should obey her, out of respect."
"Hmph," Sesshomaru sighed as Sagoe left fuming with anger. Halder found her pacing muttering to herself.
"Sagoe what bothers you?" Halder asked grabbing her shoulders as she pulled away.
"Sesshomaru!" Sagoe yelled angrily, "that pig headed stubborn son…"
"Whoa whoa now Sagoe where is all this hostility coming from?" Halder asked as Sagoe stopped and bit her finger trying to control the shakiness of her arm.
"I hope you guys find happiness together," Sagoe said shakily walking past him as the tears fell from her eyes and she took off for anywhere but there. Halder watched her worriedly feeling a pain twinge at her heart. Sagoe couldn't hold it in anymore she let out her tears feeling sorrow for herself as well Rin. Perhaps she deserved someone better then Sesshomaru.
--
It took several hours for Sesshomaru to get any courage to do what he was about to do. Every step felt heavier and heavier for the great daiyoukai. He began to have doubts but then he told himself it was for Rin, not himself… he wasn't going to get his heart get in the way of her safety anymore. NEVER again will it be her life for his.
"Sesshomaru?" Rin asked rolling over to see him walk in. Sesshomaru took a step in and looked at her. Although Rin was cleaned up she was still by far damaged. Marks marred her delicate face and body. However her body was regaining its strength, "you came…"
"How are you doing?" Sesshomaru asked simply as he sat down in a chair not to far from her.
"What are we going to do?" Rin asked looking at him desperately.
"We aren't going to do anything Rin," Sesshomaru sighed, "you are going to marry Halder as planned. It will keep an alliance between our cities."
"No Sesshomaru!" Rin cried out weakly, "I won't do it!"
"Do as I tell you Rin, I am your lord remember? I don't need you dragging me down or getting in my way anymore. I leave tonight," Sesshomaru said getting up as Rin watched him her eyes wide her mouth partially open unable to speak. A squeak came out as she felt her body begin to shake.
"Don't leave me, please," Rin cried watching the back of him stop in the door way.
"Be a wise queen and rule with every part of you," Sesshomaru said trying to move but unable to as his eyes began sting with that sensation he despised.
"Why?" Rin asked feeling her body shake as tears filled her eyes more and more.
"Do not cry Rin it does not befit one who is to rule. Be strong," Sesshomaru swallowed as Rin turned her head unable to watch him walk away.
"I have no reason to live," Rin said more to herself then to him.
"Such thoughts are for the weak. Be stronger then you are," Sesshomaru said hoping she would hate him so it would be easier to walk away. He needed to hear those words, he needed her to tell him to leave.
"Your everything," Rin cried each part of the words, "I, I just… why are you doing this!"
"You need not know my motives," Sesshomaru growled, "you are not yet queen. But I don't love you…"
"Then why did you say what you said?" Rin asked angrily feeling her body shake and tremble, "do not lie to me!"
"I didn't say whatever you think I said! But… I do love you. But I can put it aside and I have. You are no longer inside of me, it is what is best for the both of us," Sesshomaru growled before walking away.
"Don't come back if you leave," Rin said softly, "if you do this if you leave I will no longer hold any part of you in me."
"Good," he said finally leaving her. Although he was far enough he could not hear her cries of pain, he could steal smell the rich scent of her tears.
--
"Halder," Sesshomaru said feeling himself shake uncomfortably, "I am leaving. Take care of Rin do not hurt her. I will not stay for the wedding, I will send my wedding gift with Jaken who has returned to the castle to get it. Consider it an permanent alliance between us something no other clan or land has. Good luck."
"Oh, uh, what…" Halder muttered as Sesshomaru took off leaving everything and everyone behind. He took one last glance at the tent which held the one he loved in.
"Good bye Rin, find happiness, peace, and safety," Sesshomaru whispered into the air before turning and leaving for his home able to use his powers finally. But if only Sesshomaru knew, if he REALLY knew… they needed each other, they needed each other like a heart needs a beat.
Authors note: Thanks for reading! I hope this was some what decent for the long wait considering lol… I did this in a day and didn't proof read it so here you go folks!
