CLEANED UP

Clean up notes for this chapter: These events are new, but the content is stuff the vets know. Loor and Lyra's commonality, Loor's yucky childhood history equaling trust issues... yeah. Good stuff.

Disclaimer: I don't own Jak and Daxter.

Vacation Or War
Chapter Twenty Nine- Support

Lauren had excused herself from whatever the next assignment from Krew was, though Jak had insisted on personally returning her to the underground before taking off again to do his stuff. Night having fallen, Torn was catching Z's while he was able. Finally getting a moment to think about, she realized she was pretty exhausted too. She didn't wanna totally conk out, since she figured a moment alone would be a great time to slink off and talk to Vin again to see if he'd found anything new, but once she laid down her body decided it was staying down.

And again, she found herself in a dream. She'd fallen into that room again, upon fluffy pillows and silken blankets, relaxed as could be. She had a passing thought that this was like some sort of perfect place, but the purple walls that broke up the various shades of green disturbed her. In her warm and lax body, she felt an itch.

So subtle, but there. Weak, but persistent.

You just want to run away? You're so worried that you're ready to cut and run?

Lyra, hissing in her ear. The animal was creeping about her, somewhere behind her head. She was too lazy to move and look, just staring up. It's safer for him...

And what about you?

I don't matter. I personally want to survive... but if it's between the future of this place and my life... I'd gladly die. A world is worth more than one lost girl.

Pathetic!

She was suddenly shoved off of her pillows, onto the carpeted floor, rolling and seeing Lyra. The animal was on all fours, stalking her host with angry dark eyes. She was dressed in a robe of dark violet, trimmed in forest green, hardly long enough to cover the creature's rump. Also, Lyra favored having her tail risen up into the air, taking the hem of the tunic with it and discarding all decency.

Fight for yourself! The world is a big place, it won't fall in a day! One event doesn't bring about the end of eternity!

What would you know? Lyra's aggression was aggravating her, making her get up and glare down at the animal. This is a tipping point; a precarious place in history that means the end of the last major human city in this world if they don't survive. This city, it's people, and its hero are far more important than I am!

You worry about you! The male can take care of himself, as he's proven a few times over. If you try to cut and run, you're going to get yourself killed. Without eco, I can't save you!

The room around them seemed to dim as Lauren's ultimate anger took over her mind. She whipped her arms, mentally screaming. I don't need to be saved! I can take care of myself, always have, always will! No one gives two fucking shits about me, and that's the way I like it! Nothing changes, no one disappoints me, and no one can betray me. I don't have to trust anyone to take care of me, I can just do it myself. I would think you of all people would get that!

Lyra's ears flattened back to the great ebony tumble of hair that she had, a feral growl sounding from the animal's chest. I understand fending for oneself, but survival is something that comes at all costs. There is no pride... there is no fear. To live is all that matters, the means of that being irrelevant. And let's not forget...

The growl became a strange purr.

You'd happily trust that boy with your life... and more. So many flights of fancy in this brain of yours... a library of dark little secrets and urges. I figured you hadn't made a move on the male because I hadn't given you enough ideas, but I see now it's simply your fear that's holding you back. You're anxious about many things; whether or not you can give yourself over without rejection.

You stay out of there! She brought her hands up to her head, as if she could lock such thoughts away. She'd made the mistake of reading a lot of things she ought not have when she was an early twelve, spawning all the fantasies only a girl could have come up with. It had trained her sex drive early, her mind often in the gutter when she had not much else to think about. Of course, having just turned thirteen, she knew better than to get her physical body involved in such things. She had planned to wait until sixteen before learning about the real world of sex...

And now Lyra was dragging out her old thoughts... while she had the hormones of a sixteen-year-old coursing through her body. She didn't want them; she had to keep her mind on the mission; Stay alive, get home. That was all that mattered.

But Jak was almost too sexy to stand in person; something she subconsciously noted often when she wasn't arguing with Dax.

Would it be so terrible to try and touch him?

She screamed, driving out Lyra's influence. Get out! No one else has to know about that!

Would it be so bad to even try? Come now, he at least considers you a friend by how he acts... Lyra was suddenly much closer, standing up and spooking Lauren as she looked to find the beast in her face. It caused her to back off, though it was only three steps until her back hit the wall, and Lyra followed her for every one. You could just scoot a little closer... feign having a nightmare to get him to sleep next to you... go on one of your little walks and drag him into a back alley for a secret kiss... wouldn't that be fun?

Fun isn't the point! The girl pressed against the wall, realizing now that she was shorter than Lyra in this mental world of hers. Lyra possessed her more mature body, taller and her body curved into a most womanly shape. It was only then that she became totally aware of the fact that she was her old self here; her old human self. She was still thirteen in this mental landscape, blond locks adorning her head, short ears and all.

It made her feel rather small as Lyra cornered her against the wall, the animal taking her wrists and holding her there, bending to hiss into the girl's face. Do I care about the point? No. I care about what I want. What we need... that's your department. All I know is want; the want to kill... the want to ravish... and to me these wants are like your need to breathe; it's so important I'm more than willing to fight for it. If you're so worried about dying, why waste those secret seconds?

I'm not wasting anything. Stay alive... get out of here... get out before something goes terribly wrong... that's all I care about. She was trying to think of an escape; the animal was way too close to her for comfort, and Lyra radiated sexual desire at the moment. What disturbed her is she responded to it; her mind bending to match despite her protests. Stop it! You're screwing with my head again!

You blame so much on my... 'influence' as it were. But remember, I was well on my way to existence before the eco brought me to life. In truth, you and I were to be one in the same, a fractured personality in an unstable mind. Logic and reasoning, at war with all things emotional. Honestly, I'm quite glad the eco separated us... but the truth remains; what I want is simply a more forceful precipitation of what you already were wishing for.

Shut up! Lemme go! She screamed, like a child frightened by the monster hiding under the bed. I wasn't going insane, I did everything to prevent it! I wasn't going to allow you to exist!

Let you go? The animal turned, tossing the girl easily across the room, claws scraping her wrists. If you want to get away from me, you'll have to wake up.

Lauren was in a panic, as Lyra was on the approach again and looking like she was about to pounce. She didn't know what the animal was going to do, but feared it all the same. She had to wake up, but had no idea of how to leave her mind when it was so active. There had to be a way out of the room... a portal, a door, something!

The room was her creation to begin with, a safe haven in her mind.

If she could create, she could manipulate.

She got up, leaping away as Lyra pounced for the spot she'd been laying. It had been an inch's difference, but she kept on the run to the opposing wall. Looking at it, she imagined a black door-way. A way out. It would lead her back to her body, her bed in the underground.

It would take her outside. She told herself so. It had to be true.

Leaping for the hole in space, she went through and felt as if she were falling.


Loor's body jolted as she returned to the living world, gasping and sitting up as she felt as if she'd landed after a long fall. At once she looked over herself, finding herself in her sports bra and pants, tucked away in her bunk in the underground. It was dark and quiet, meaning it was still nighttime... but she didn't dare go back to sleep when she knew what was waiting for her, just inside her skull.

No, she had to get up. Fear and adrenaline still coursed through her, making it impossible to stay still. She paused only to get her boots on, getting up and making for the door.

"Hey."

A voice stopped her. Her head swung around, looking back to find she must have been asleep for longer than she'd meant to in the first place. Jak and Daxter had been back long enough for Jak to be in bed, but he was obviously still awake, peeking over the edge of his bunk and watching her.

"Uh... hi?" She blinked, feeling her cheeks warm as she remembered Lyra's little suggestions.

"Going outside?" He was sitting up, showing the fact that he'd gone down to his pants. He was shirtless. Even in the dark, she could see some of his rather pleasing physique.

"You don't need to come with." She said quickly. "I just... kinda had a nightmare... just gonna walk around the block to unwind and–"

He'd already slung himself down the ladder, grabbing his blanket in lieu of his shirt. "I wanted to talk to you anyway... but I didn't wanna wake you two nights in a row. Gotta sleep sometime, right?"

"Not after the dream I just had..." She practically whimpered, leading the way outside.

"Was it...?" He paused, and she nodded at him. "Jeez..."

"It was just like... an empty space for us to interact in." She stepped out onto the street, looking up at the stars for a moment before beginning to walk with him right beside her. "And... she..." She had to look down at her wrists; she remembered how real the scratches felt, but there was no physical evidence on her arms. Just the memory of the pain.

"They're pretty pushy..." Jak agreed, sighing. "Almost wish I had died..."

"Don't say that. As long as you're still walking, you can work on making shit better."

"Hey, my shit's great. It just sucks having his thoughts on... everything."

She nodded, not having much of a comeback; she knew the feeling. Even if Lyra didn't talk, her emotional two-cents was in on everything. Thankfully the animal was currently limited to her dreams, only a small amount of eco in her system at the moment. Still, there was an elephant in the room, so to speak. She knew exactly why Jak wanted to come out and talk, and decided to attack it before the silence led to other things.

"Um... thank you." She said as they turned out of the alleyway. "For earlier... listening to me. I'm... I was scared..."

"Why were you even fighting him in the first place? So close to the fortress... I'm sure they've got security cameras or something; they were sure to notice you." He was looking at her seriously, rather glad she'd broken in on the subject first, since he couldn't think of a pleasant way to open up on it.

"Honestly?" She chuckled. "I was sick of getting my ass pulled out of the fire by you... figured sooner or later it was gonna get one of us killed if I didn't buck up... so I figured I'd go back to the safe house that first outfitted me and pick up some extra hardware. Some big-boom-stick, like Sig's peace-maker or something."

"And?"

"Place had been raided... guard had seen me leaving when I first escaped, told Errol, and he burned it from the inside... left it like a trap for me, figuring I'd be back and be fazed enough by what he'd done with the place for him and back-up to be waiting for me."

"You said he didn't want to kill you just yet."

"He didn't..." She took a deep breath. It was a thought that scared her almost as much as Lyra did. "We... you and I, were exactly the results the dark warrior program was trying to produce. Errol basically wanted to capture me... and torture me until he understood how to properly trigger the monster. Honestly... I think he just wants me at his mercy after having shot him."

"When...?" Jak trailed off, and Loor was pretty sure she knew why. He wanted to know when Errol was going to die, but knew better than to ask; she'd already told him she couldn't say.

"Before this is all over. Don't worry... you'll know."

"Will I be there?"

She felt like a fortune-teller, and giggled. "Oh yeah. Should be, unless something goes horribly wrong..."

"That's what you're so worried about, isn't it?" He sighed. "Everything crashing down because you said too much... sorry for even asking..."

She felt the urge to slug him in the arm; his guilt was guilting her in a big guilt circle. "Don't worry about it. I just gotta get the hell out of here, and it'll all be okay."

"Dax is right, you are trying to run away from us." He snickered as they turned to stay in the slums, having made it all the way to the border of south town. Instead of going around the block, they just did an about-face to go back the way they came.

"At least I have a good reason for running away..." She said, but even she didn't believe it. Why was she running? Fear? The life she left behind? She'd grown up; her family wouldn't even recognize her if she came walking back in. And then there was that little wrinkle of she'd be dead in a few months. Still, it was a compulsion; when away from home one wants to return as soon as possible. Home is safe, stable, normal.

Lonely.

She struck her own head as the thought crossed her brain.

"Uh... you okay there?"

"Brain taking a detour..." She grumbled.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" They made another corner, turning back towards the underground. "I remember you saying that when you hit your head against a wall."

"Some thought or another crossing my mind that I didn't wanna think about." She shrugged; it was something she was used to. "If I try not to think about something I tend to think about it more, so I just hit myself and it goes away. Kinda like shock therapy... with my fist."

"Why don't you just say it?"

"I have my reasons... Usually I'm happy to be open, but a lot of new things have been happening, and that has put a lot of new... and sometimes disturbing... thoughts into my head. Before you ask, it had nothing to do with you."

He shrugged. "Whatever. Listen; I don't think you're ready to take missions on your own just yet. And, even if you were..." He shrugged. "Dax is a great partner, but I like having you around too. We're all in the same boat, right?"

"Yeah..." She agreed slowly, trying to form her thoughts into words that would help persuade him. "You keep risking yourself to save my ass... and you're a lot more important than I am."

"As long as I gotta save your ass, you're not ready to take missions on your own. And once you don't need my help, you'll make the missions easier on all of us. Nothing wrong with over-kill. Anyways, I'm not that big a deal. I'm sure Dax has told you some of the stories; horribly exaggerated."

"You don't get it..." She sighed, shaking her head. "That feeling. As long as I'm around it's going to keep coming."

"And you wanna deal with that all alone?"

"It's how I deal with everything else."

They'd returned to the dead-end alleyway that led them back to the underground, stopping. "You make your own choices..." He sighed. "But I like having you around... you get it. Me. Last night..." He paused. They both knew just how critical her support of him had been. "I just wanna return the favor."

He started walking for the door to go back inside. She was left to stand there, weighing her options.

She liked being around him too, but that was the problem. She liked it too much; and he'd made it clear that he was going to keep protecting her until she didn't need it anymore. He didn't seem to worried about it, but she certainly was. It wasn't just fear for him and this world though.

She'd never trusted someone. Not completely. No, she'd been shoved around too much as a young child to ever want to let people into her confidence again. The blind trust so many young people exhibited had ended her as the object of ridicule and occasionally physical bulling. She'd found her only way to beat the bullies was to become one; shutting others out and reacting violently to all intrusions.

But he was different.

"Jak!"

He turned to her, stopping just short as the door began to open. He was surprised as she had walked up quickly, stealing another hug. The surprise faded quickly though, and he hugged back while wrapping her up in his blanket.

"So you like the team idea?" He snickered.

"Better than being alone." She said with a squeeze.


The Author's Corner

Lot's of introspection on this one... And I've officially stayed up way too bloody late. I got work tomorrow and I'm up like an hour later than I should be to get a proper night of sleep.

I assume you people like my over-working myself tho. XD

Next time,

-Loor