Chapter 29: October 29th

(Katniss)


Saturday was immediately off to a rough start. She slept way past her usual time and therefore blew her normal routine of getting up early and going for a run in the park, and she also missed the breakfast line in the cafeteria. Breakfast was one of the only meals worth going to. Pissed at herself, she scribbled furiously at her homework, determined to have it completely finished and out of the way by noon. It was Saturday and she absolutely hated waiting until Sunday night to get everything finished for the next week, so she was trying her hardest to get it done then. Anger boiled through her veins as she realized why she was so not herself.

She's been thinking about it all week.

Her eyes lifted to look up at the box on the shelf above her desk. After throwing it there earlier in the week she hadn't touched it since. However, the curiosity was starting to wear on her. Did she even want to use it? Was it normal? Would she even like it? Questions swirled through her mind as she tried to work up the courage to just use it. The vibrator was still in the box, the batteries in the tiny package beside it, untouched.

Basically, she was being a chicken shit about this whole situation and she hated herself for it.

She went back to writing, her eyes only occasionally flicking up to the box again.

Damn it, she thought. Why was she so obsessed with a stupid little piece of plastic with a motor?!

You know why, her mind echoed back. You're afraid you'll like it.

It wasn't like Peeta would care she had it – he'd given it to her for Christ's sake! What was she so worried about? It wasn't like she was offending his manhood or his talents by using it, right?

Her phone buzzed beside her, making her jump.

Peeta: Whats up beautiful

Katniss: Homework. Ulgh.

Katniss: u?

Peeta: Goin to play bball with some of the guys. Just wanted to say hi

Peeta: I miss u

Katniss: I miss u too

Peeta: Well if you miss me then you could maybe use my present ; )

Katniss: Did you just set me up Mellark

Peeta: maybe ; )

Katniss: No, I haven't used ur present yet.

Peeta: y not? U make me so sad lol

Katniss: Are you really that hopeful that I will use it?

Peeta: Yah. I want you to use it and tell me about it

Peeta: I want to kno how wet it makes you

Katniss: y? so you can go take a shower? Haha

Peeta: Sadly, yes

Peeta: Just USE IT. If I was a chick I'd have used it by now

Katniss: I'm sure you would have. Perv

Peeta: Shut up Everdeen, u kno u wan to

Katniss: Maybe

Peeta: Got 2 go. Text u after

Peeta: Love u babe

Peeta: USE IT ; )

Katniss set her phone back down on her desk with a sigh. Pushing the box from her mind, she tried to continue with her homework. She managed to complete it with little to no trouble before quickly changing into her sweats to go for a run. Was Peeta right? Would she enjoy using a sex toy? Her mouth twisted into a pensive look as she snapped her sports bra into place with a crack and pulled on a sweatshirt. She grabbed her archaic iPod and walked through the chilly fall air to the gym. As she placed her ear buds in and picked a treadmill in the nearly abandoned workout room, she thought about the box on her shelf.

As much as she hated to admit it, she was mildly curious. How could she not be? Of course it was fine to own such a thing, but the idea was still a little naughty. She smiled to herself as the angry music flowed through the earphones as she began to jog.

What did it matter if she was curious about using it? It was hers, wasn't it? No one would ever know. It wasn't like she would forever have I own a vibrator tattooed on her forehead. Her feet were soundless to her ears as she ran on the treadmill, punching up the speed until her legs ached and her stomach hurt. The loud, angry music on her outdated iPod fueled her frustrated body forward until she could think clearly.

She missed Peeta and was tired of not getting him all to herself. The lonely hours in her dorm room were adding up quicker that ever lately, and to know that it wouldn't feel better until summer was just so irritating. She had a long, cold, lonely winter before her and there was nothing she could do about it. She missed him but she also shallowly missed his body and getting to feel him anytime she wanted. Was that superficial? She hoped not, but silently realized it was incredibly trivial and stupid to miss someone's body and getting twenty four hour access to it. With a grunt, she pulled the power cord out of the treadmill and doubled over to catch her breath. A few people in the gym turned to give her curious looks, but the loud music and spots in her eyes left her completely oblivious. Her chest heaved as she fought to catch her breath as she wiped down her machine and turned to leave.

If she couldn't have Peeta anytime she wanted, well…. then she would have the next best thing.

After jogging back to her dorm and quickly showering, she found herself in her bathrobe with an entire Saturday evening to kill.

The box seemed to stare at her from the shelf above her desk.

Katniss rolled her eyes at her own stupid behavior and flopped down on her desk chair and opened her laptop. She clicked the Skype icon and texted Peeta that she was online. He appeared minutes later on her computer screen, his blue eyes illuminated by the dim glow of his monitor.

"Hey sexy."

"Hey," she greeted back, giving him an eye roll.

"Sight for sore eyes." A small smile slowly crept onto her lips as his raspy, suddenly very sexy voice greeted her warmly. She looked up at the screen and smiled as she realized he was sporting a few day' scruff along his jaw and throat – something she secretly loved. He flashed her a white toothed grin and innocently licked his lips. Katniss felt her thighs clench together as his tongue flashed across the corner of his mouth.

"Ditto."

Peeta leaned forward as if he could see down her shirt. "What are you wearing?"

"My bathrobe," she laughed. "What are you wearing?" she asked cheekily, eying him through the screen. Peeta chuckled and stood up.

"Basketball shorts and a ratty shirt."

Katniss leaned forward and eyed him saucily as showed her the way his shirt was cut out on the sides, exposing the corners of his stomach. She gave him a little whistle as he sat back down.

"So…." He prodded.

"Soo…"

He grinned impishly and she could almost hear his words before he spoke them. "So you use my present yet?"

Katniss gave him a little grin. "No."

"Fine," he chuckled, picking up a basketball from nearby. He spun it idly on the tips of his fingers a few times, laughing when it fell.

"You're pretty handy with that thing."

"Yeah? I'm pretty handy with something else," he winked, his blue eyes flashing. She watched in the monitor as he bit his lip suggestively.

Katniss shook her head. "So when am I going to see you next?"

Peeta gave her a suddenly melancholy look. "Mark's next away game isn't til the first week of November."

Her heart sank as she did the math. That was over two weeks away. "That's a long time."

He let the ball bounce away as he leaned forward and gave her a mournful look. "I know it is. I'm sorry babe, I really am. I could maybe come there?"

She sighed. "I really shouldn't. If I get caught with you in my room I could lose my student housing."

"That's no good. Never mind that. We could get a hotel room…"

"And how would you explain that charge to your dad?" she laughed. "Next."

"Worth a shot," he chuckled. "Well I guess it's going to be a long two weeks. I could maybe come by your place for dinner next weekend? It's not the far of a drive; I just can't spend the night."

She smiled. "I'd like that."

"It's a date then babe. Oh and if you're missing me, I know something you could do…"

Katniss rolled her eyes. "You want me to use the present. I get it."

"Just think about it?"

Katniss waved him off and they said their goodbyes, closing her computer with a click. She made her way over to her couch and flipped on the television, content to have a quiet night in her room alone. The channels clicked by as she tried to find something suitable to watch; all that was on were shows about overbearing dance mothers and gypsies. Annoyed, she went to her meager DVD collection and scanned the stack. Her eyes lit up when she saw a title that looked good, so she popped it in.

Relaxing back on her small couch, she stuffed her hand into a bag of pretzels and reclined across the surface as the opening credits to Pretty Woman began to play. Even though she'd seen the movie with Prim probably a thousand times, the way Julia Roberts sounded while singing along to Prince in the bathtub made her giggle every single time. She's had a hard time explaining to Prim what exactly Vivian did for a living and she'd had to fast forward through the raunchy scenes when watching it with a younger version of Prim, but she loved the movie all the same. Now that she was alone, however, she didn't have to fast forward. As the two main characters writhed together on the expensive looking sheets she watched with rapt interest.

Richard Gere was draped across Julia Roberts, his back muscles bending and twisting as they rolled together on the bed. Katniss bit into another pretzel and chewed slowly as she watched the scene unfold.

His back is very nice…but not as nice as Peeta's. Like that time I saw him shirtless playing soccer.

Her mind drifted back to Camp Panem that previous summer when she'd approached the soccer fields as Peeta was taking part in a spur of the moment scrimmage match with some of the older campers. She'd hung back by the trees and lurked like a creeper but she'd just been so damn captivated by a shirtless, running, soccer playing Peeta that's she'd been content to be just that. He was dressed in cleats and pads and had on black basketball shorts but was naked from the waist up. The way the summer sun looked against his tan, muscular back was something she hadn't thought about in a while. She remembered enjoying the way the sun caught the sparse golden hairs on his chest and arms as they glistened with a sheen of sweat.

Without thinking, she licked her lips and sighed. She missed him. Her mouth twisted into a grimace as she realized again just how long it would be until they were together again. The days piled up in her head in mess of numbers and waiting and just…she couldn't stand it anymore.

"What the hell," she muttered, stalking over to her desk. Double checking that her door was locked and dead bolted, she spied Peeta's present and set her jaw in determination. She would not chicken out. Ripping the brown box down from the shelf, she yanked out the contents and looked at them. The toy itself wasn't anything garish or scary looking – just a round, silver bullet-looking item.

"Nothing scary."

She swallowed roughly and unwrapped the batteries, shoving them into the separate portion of the device and clicked it on. It came alive in her hand, jumping slightly as it began to vibrate with a soft buzz.

"Holy shit," she gasped, grasping the smooth object in her palm. It felt…weird. Quickly switching it off, she dropped it onto the couch cushions and turned away. Her cheeks burned slightly as she glanced at the foreign object. She wasn't all that interested in it until she'd felt how smooth and surprisingly intense the vibrations had been in her hand. Turning her head, she stared at it until her eyes started to burn.

She was chickening out.

"I can't do this," she muttered, bending to yank the door of her mini fridge open. Her fingertips closed around the neck of the bottle of wine in her door, ripping it out and taking a ragged breath.

She would do this. Her visits with Peeta were few and far between and she needed to do something to each the increasing ache of missing him.

After pouring a generous amount of liquid into a paper cup, she held it to her lips and took a long drag. She hadn't even had a drink since the night she went to Peeta's frat party, so the dry, tangy wine took her by surprise. Before she realized it, half the cup was gone and she was instantly chugging the rest. As the liquor slid down her throat, she felt her body start to relax and glow with warmth.

Katniss moved over to her small couch again, sitting beside the object in question. She eyed it wearily, toying with the tie on her bath robe.

I should just try it. Maybe I'll like it. That sounds weird though…'I love my vibrator!' That sounds so…bizarre.

She'd lived in a dorm of all girls for almost two and a half years now, so she'd heard girls talking about them before. It wasn't odd for girls to talk about things like that in the large, communal bathrooms as they were getting ready to go out for the night. Once she's been in one of the shower stalls drying off when several girls had been using the bathroom mirrors to get ready for a night out.

"Going out with Bryan again tonight?"

"Yeah, just one more time though. Homeboy needs a few lessons and I'm not sure I'm the girl to give them to him."

"What do you mean? He seems nice."

"He's very nice, just…"

"Well, spit it out!"

"He's nice, he just lacks know how in bed."

All the girls squealed in disappointment.

"Tell me you're lying," one of them giggled.

"I wish. He went down there before we did it and it was like he was tuning a fricking radio!"

"But he's so sweet! He really likes you!"

"I know, but how can I date a guy who sucks in bed?"

"Well...have you told him?'

"And kill his ego? No thanks. It just sucks, but I don't think I can date him if he can't return the favor if you know what I mean."

"Have you thought about showing him what you like?"

"I guess not…"

"Why not bring your vibrator?"

"Yeah, but won't that like…totally kill the mood?"

"Nah, he'll think it's kinky. He's a college guy! He'll get a kick out of it. And you will too!"

They all giggled at that as Katniss had rolled her eyes from behind the shower curtain.

"You need a waterproof one. Trent and I love to sneak into the showers and use it! I had to show him how to use it on me but oh my god! I saw stars!"

Katniss frowned as she recalled the conversation. Peeta had always been more than attentive in that area of their relationship – he had no problems getting her off or demonstrating how perfectly eager he was to do anything to please her, so she didn't have to worry about that aspect of their relationship. But what about the long weeks apart?

Her phone buzzed beside her on the small table beside the couch, making her nearly jump out of her skin.

Peeta: What's up

She gripped the phone with her sweaty hands and swallowed.

Katniss: Nothing. Watchin' a movie

Peeta: Me too. What are u watchin

Katniss: Pretty Woman : )

Peeta: Sexy movie time huh

Katniss: Lol yea

Peeta: why don't you watch your sexy movie and use your sexy toy ; )

Katniss: perv ; )

Tossing her phone to the side, she poured herself another glass of wine and took another large gulp. Her room began to grow warm as she sat on the couch and picked up the shiny little bullet and held it in her hand.

I'm not crazy, I'm normal. I'm going to try this and not feel weird.

She slid her hand down her stomach, parting her robe open to reveal her smooth, clean skin. Tracing her hand down her stomach, she bypassed the short hairs on her mound and tentatively touched herself with her fingers like she normally did. It felt good, but she was too distracted to really let it feel good. Pulling her lip between her teeth, she chewed it softly as she rubbed herself tentatively and closed her eyes. It felt nice, but not nearly as nice as it did when it wasn't her hand. Peeta's sweet smile and square jaw popped into her mind as she imagined him hovering above her.

The Jaw. Think about the Jaw, Katniss, she coached herself. Her boyfriend's masculine, square, perfect jaw never failed to get her riled up. She loved running her lips over it as she hovered in his lap, running her tongue over it softly.

A rush of warmth seemed to flood the room as she touched herself, circling the nub that was suddenly begging for her attention. It throbbed with need as she finally felt a flood of moisture surge to her womanhood and give her the lubrication that instantly helped. With a final gulp, she took the vibrator in her other hand and held it against herself. Then, she flipped it onto the lowest setting.

"Holy…oh!"

Her body instantly quaked with a ripple of desire as the gentle vibrations seemed to ricochet through her every limb, muscle, and nerve ending. The smooth plastic slid against her folds as she fumbled to return it to her clit. She hadn't been expecting it to feel like that.

It felt good.

Not just good.

Amazing.

Katniss let out another soft cry and almost startled herself at how desperate she sounded, but she suddenly didn't care. Her robe fell to the side as she closed her eyes and slumped down on the couch and held the vibrator against herself like it was a lifeline.

OH my GOD does this feel good, she thought. Her jaw ached from clenching her teeth so hard, so she let her mouth fall open. At that moment her thumb accidently hit the switch on the side of the control sending the small bullet into overdrive. A loud keening noise came from her chest as she fell back against the cushions and opened her legs wider.

"Oh…oh…holy shit…"

Her body didn't feel like her own. As the vibrations continued one wave of pleasure after another went soaring through her body as it basked in enjoyment. Her center began to throb alarmingly fast as her release approached. Normally she would try to finish and worry about Peeta's orgasm, but as she toppled over the edge, her thighs clenching in delight and her hand trembling to hold the bullet steady, she couldn't think of anything else but the mind-blowing ecstasy that was washing over her. She felt herself throb against the smooth plastic as it hummed away, her breaths ragged and her eyes squeezed shut.

Pulling her hand away slightly, she panted a few times before tentatively touching it back to her sensitive folds. Rolling it up her body, she let it graze the side of her clit and gasped as it sent her body into another tailspin. By the third time it had happened, she was a goner. Her center ached with sensitivity as she slowly clicked it to the 'off' switch and flung it beside her on the couch. Her bare chest heaved with relief and pleasure as her body seemed to throb.

"Holy fucking shit," she gasped, pulling her robe closed. Reaching for her wine, she took another long gulp as her limbs seemed to fall into the jelly-like feeling she was used to after a good orgasm. Peeta's smiling face flashed in front of her eyes, and she knew that if he was there he would nudge her side with a gentle 'I told you so, Everdeen.'

With a grunt she pushed 'resume' on her DVD remote and let the picture of Edward and Vivian at the opera fill the screen as she recovered. Her eyes soon became droopy as her level of relaxation hit an all-time high. She was so completely sated and calm it was laughable. She had almost fallen asleep when her phone buzzed beside her.

Peeta: Are u awake?

Katniss: Barely, but yea

Katniss: What's up

Peeta: im in my side facing the wall so I can't be sure but I'm 99% sure Mark and Cassie are having sex with me IN THE ROOM

Peeta: EW EW EW

Peeta: FML KILL ME NOW

Katniss: Awwww

Katniss: want me to accidently 'butt dial' you and just be moaning in pleasure while my present is going in the background

Peeta: No

Peeta: But shit that would be hot

Katniss: I'm sorry babe. They must have a lot of class

Peeta: yea no

Katniss: so they are srsly having sex with you in the room

Peeta: Yeah they r in his bed which is ACROSS from mine

Katniss: Didn't they notice the light from ur phone

Peeta: Not really. They left the tv on. Fml.

Katniss: oh.

Katniss: I kno something that will make u feel better

Peeta: yeah?

Peeta: Please. Anything.

Katniss: I used my present ; )

Peeta: !

Katniss: Sweet dreams

Peeta: fuuuuck


Tonight is the LAST night to vote in the Everlark Smut Awards! Shades of Winter, Cruel Summer AND NIOF are all nominated and would love a vote : )

Voting link is on my twitter, tumblr, and : )