Teela
I was looking forward to going to dinner about as much as one would look forward to an overnight stay in Snake Mountain. I couldn't help but smirk at the thought. Actually, if it meant the evil guys would be serving...I choked back a laugh as we entered the formal dining room. The King and Queen were entering from the other side, and the others were already seated. It would not be appropriate to laugh out loud, even if I was suddenly having visions of Skeletor dressed in a tuxedo, asking for my order.
The seating arrangements had changed a bit. I used to sit next to Adam, but Adora was seated there today, with Ham next to the Queen. Father held out my chair, which was next to Ham, and he took a seat across from me, next to Adora. I wondered if it were any comfort to Adam that he was seated in his old seat of authority, at his father's right hand. I couldn't help but glance at him as the thought crossed my mind, and our eyes met.
My breath left me. Maybe it was my imagination, but his eyes seemed full of an apology and even regret. They reflected a bright sheen. Was he tearing up? If so, why? Because he was sorry for what had happened? Or was there more to it than that?
My head was swirling with these questions when I suddenly realized Ham was talking to me. "Did you know that Adam's my big brother, Miss Teela? And he's even braverer than He-Man! He saved me today." He gazed at Adam with adoration. "He's my favorite brother in the whole universe."
"He's your only brother," I responded a bit drolly.
"Hey, let me enjoy this!" Adam protested with a lopsided grin. My stomach twisted at the sight of that grin. I hadn't seen that one in a long time-far too long.
"That's right," Ham said as if Adam hadn't spoken. He nodded enthusiastically and looked around the table. "Adam's my favorite brother, and Adora's my favorite sister, and Mama's my favorite mother, and Dad's my favorite father." He gazed across the table at my father, his brow furrowing like Adam's did when he was thinking. "And Man-at-Arms is my favorite teacher." Then he turned to me, his nose wrinkling up with his brow.
I felt incredibly out of place all of a sudden. I shouldn't have come. As Ham had just so innocently pointed out, I no longer belonged at the table with the royal family. They all had a relationship that I had turned my back on years ago. The soup set before me smelled heavy and over-spiced, making my stomach turn over. Perfect. Now I had a legitimate excuse to get out of here and-
My thoughts were again interrupted, this time by a head resting on my upper arm and a small hand intertwining with mine. "And you're my bestest friend, Miss Teela," Ham declared happily.
An odd combination of feelings rose up in my chest and tears filled my eyes. This was indeed sweet torture. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to regain my composure.
"Mine too, Ham," Adam agreed, his voice sounding suspiciously hoarse. I opened my eyes in time to see him reach hastily for his water glass, a sure sign that his emotions were becoming too strong for him.
"And mine," added Adora in a lighter voice, flashing me a smile. I focused on her face. She was the only one of the three that wasn't going to make me cry with her declaration. She seemed to know it too, as she inclined her head ever-so-slightly and winked quickly.
"You do seem to have a habit of befriending my children, Teela," King Randor observed with a smile. "And a better friend I could not ask for." He raised his glass and gestured to me, a movement of respect.
I just about lost it. After all the years of self-inflicted exile, every member of that stupid family was welcoming me back into the fold as if nothing had ever happened. If Queen Marlena joined the train, I was going to start bawling uncontrollably. It was starting to irritate me because I hate crying in front of people, so my face was probably as red as Battle Cat's saddle. Fortunately, the Queen merely smiled at me, looking quite a bit as if she were holding back laughter. She knew me pretty well, and probably knew that I was at my limit.
Ham still had his head on my shoulder. "When I grow up, Miss Teela, will you marry me?" he asked abruptly.
I gasped in surprise, but that was nothing compared to what His Royal Highness did. Prince Adam, Crown Prince and heir to the throne of all Eternia, spit his water out across the table, right into Her Majesty's soup. She stared at it for a second or two, then looked up and quirked a regal eyebrow at Adam, who was turning redder than Orko's robe. I couldn't help it. I started to giggle. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. Adora and the King burst out into laughter, my father joined in, and before we knew it, we were all nearly hysterical.
The servants, Ancients bless them, somehow kept straight faces around us as they replaced the Queen's soup, drink, and silverware. They moved to replace King Randor's as well, though he waved them off. "My son has extraordinarily good aim," he assured them. Leif, the server, nearly lost his composure on that one as he replaced it anyway.
We finally settled in and began eating our food among idle chit-chat. The King shared family-appropriate stories of his day, Ham re-told the story of Adam's heroism-which caused Adam to blush and the Queen to blanch-and Father talked about his struggles with upgrading the security systems to prevent magical attacks. Skeletor kept finding ways to neutralize the magical wards Orko and the Sorceress had set in place.
Apparently growing bored of the conversation, Ham interjected, "Dad, can we go fishing again tomorrow like we did last week?"
King Randor shook his head regretfully. "I can't tomorrow, Son." His voice went on, but I lost track of what he was saying as I glanced at Adam. He looked as if someone had just dropped Grayskull on him. He swallowed hard and forced his face into a neutral expression, but his eyes met mine and I could see the pain there. My heart went out to him, in spite of my mess of feelings towards him. I knew for a fact that his father hadn't gone fishing with him for at least five years before Adam had disappeared. And Adam loved fishing, probably because it was something his father had taught him to do. It had to be hard to come back and find you have a little brother, much less that said brother's relationship with your father was better than yours had been.
The King suddenly seemed to have the same revelation. "Besides, Abraham, I think my next fishing trip is going to be with your brother. He's been gone a long time and I haven't been fishing with him in…" His voice trailed off and his gaze caught Adam's. He looked almost ill. "I'm sorry," he rasped.
Adam shook his head quickly. "Don't," he countered, his own voice thick with emotion. "It couldn't be helped."
His father opened his mouth, glanced at me, then Ham, then simply nodded. "I think you and I should go fishing, Adam," he reiterated. My eyes narrowed. I seemed to be missing something here...
Taking note of Ham's crestfallen expression, Adam suggested, "Perhaps we can go early and then Mother, Adora, and Ham can join us later in the day for a picnic lunch. Then I can show him my favorite fishing hole." Ham lit up with a huge smile.
"You want us to bring lunch in case you don't catch anything?" Adora asked in a teasing tone.
Adam put on an offended look. "Adora, my dear sister, I always catch my fish." Our eyes met, and I suddenly felt as if he were talking about way more than fish.
The second dinner was over Adam came around to the table and bowed to me, his hand held out and his eyes on mine. "Lady Teela, this evening has been too wondrous to allow it to end so soon. Your very presence has been a joy to my heart and a balm to my soul." I felt as if the world had stopped as he gazed at me sincerely. "There is no one on Eternia with whom I would rather spend time. My beautiful star, would you do me the honor of walking the gardens with me?"
Oh.
My.
Ancients.
My blood froze and ran hot at the same time. This wasn't my best friend Adam saying, "Hey Tee, want to take a walk?" His bow, the formal tone, the old pattern of speech, the very words-this was the Prince of Eternia speaking to a woman he wanted to court. He was essentially stating his intentions in front of everyone in the room, family and servants. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't sure I wanted this. Why was he trying to put me in this position, and in front of my father and his family? He was rushing things again, and I didn't like it at all.
I heard a slight hiss. I tore my eyes away from Adam's worried ones and caught sight of Adora. "Go!" she mouthed at me. I swallowed hard and mustered all the courage I could. Placing my hand in his, I rose to my feet, hoping I was doing so gracefully. "I would be honored, Prince Adam," I replied. My voice trembled slightly, but the smile that came to Adam's face chased away some of my fear.
Adam put my hand in the crook of his arm and we both bid the others a good evening. At least I think I did. I was so aware of his powerful muscle beneath my hand and the scent of his aftershave that I was finding it a bit hard to concentrate on pleasantries. Not to mention I was as jittery as my father when Orko was in his workshop. I reminded myself several times that Adam had rejected me, but I was completely thrown by what he had just done.
Adam didn't say a word as we walked through the halls. It wasn't hard to figure out why; we seemed to pass a guard or a servant every twenty strides or so. King Randor had really stepped up the security after this afternoon's escapade. I stole a few glances at Adam's face, trying to gauge his mood. He seemed to have recovered from the ordeal. Though his face was lined with tension, his color was better. Maybe not completely, but he had always paled pretty easily. There were many days when he'd beg off of doing our training rounds and I let him simply because his color had seemed off and there were bags under his eyes. I gave him a hard time and accused him of partying too much, but secretly I always worried he was coming down with something. If he hadn't been the picture of health in every other way, I would have worried even more.
Once we reached the gardens, Adam seemed to relax slightly. I, however, grew even more tense as I realized our confrontation was coming. Try as I might, I couldn't see this coming to a good ending. He led me to a bench that offered some privacy. A trellis with flowering vines stood overhead, and on three sides were bushes that would be covered in purple fuzzy flowers in a few weeks. When that happened, it wouldn't be safe to sit at this bench any longer; the bugs would be everywhere, trying to get to the sweet nectar.
"I've asked the guards to keep everyone else out," Adam said lowly as he sat on the bench, half-turned towards me. He swallowed hard, apparently not quite able to begin speaking, since he didn't say another word.
I didn't say anything either, I just stared at him, wondering if we were going to get through this. I was sort of sorry he had remembered what had happened. We had almost found our footing as friends again. Almost. I sighed as for the first time since he had returned, I allowed myself to just drink in the sight of him. He looked almost exactly the same, but his eyes carried a much deeper sorrow now. The light-hearted prince I had known wasn't there. My eyes welled with tears. As if on its own, my hand reached up to touch his cheek lightly. "I missed you," I confessed roughly. "I was so angry with you, but so worried at the same time."
"I'm sorry, Teela," he said, his eyes searching my face. He captured my hand in his, holding onto it like a lifeline. The late evening sun glistened on his face in an odd way. With a start, I realized that a tear had escaped and was slipping down his face. I could count on one hand the number of times I'd seen Adam cry, and almost every one of them came before we hit double-digits. "It's not enough," he continued roughly. "I can never make it up to you. I'm so sorry."
"Why, Adam?" The question slipped out before I had even realized it. It sounded pathetic, which infuriated me, but I couldn't take it back. I wanted to know. I had a right to know. "You never told me why."
His breath caught and he swallowed several times, looking away. I sat quietly, though internally my ire was rising quickly. The words he spoke when he turned back to me held little surprise. "I still can't tell you. I'm sorry Tee. I really am." I jerked my hand away from him and half-turned away in anger, my mouth pursed. But then he slid to one knee next to me, drawing my gaze back. "Teela, I loved you more than I can say. I didn't lie to you. I can't explain to you why I couldn't claim our marriage, but I swear by the Ancients that I loved you."
It was a good thing I hadn't been drinking because I needed to be able to think. The use of past tense didn't escape my notice, but I couldn't blame him. Neither of us knew how we felt after being apart for nine years. I was angry and hurt all over again at his refusal to explain himself, but my father's words rang in my mind. 'That boy loved you with every fiber in him.' Looking into Adam's eyes, I felt that it was true. And as I considered his words, I realized that he had said "can't" and "couldn't." 'There must have been something really important to hold Adam back from claiming your marriage,' my father's voice reminded me.
For the first time since he had disappeared, I drew on my good memories of Adam. His unfailing loyalty was one of the first things that I thought of in that moment. His good-natured acceptance of others was another. His ability to make anything fun and the ready smile on his face...the way he always lit up when he saw me. I closed my eyes as tears spilled over. My father was right. Adam was telling the truth. He had loved me before that night. I had known it then, before I became so angry with him that I twisted every memory and thought to fool myself into believing otherwise. I knew it now.
A gentle touch on my cheek caused my eyes to fly open in surprise. Adam was staring at me, still on one knee, tears streaming down his own face as he wiped my tears away.
"I believe you," I whispered. Instead of relieved, Adam looked as if he were going to break completely. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and turned his head away, his hand dropping at the same time. I sort of understood. He had been through so much since he had returned that I'm sure his emotions were completely raw. I wanted to ease his pain, not add to it, but I had to tell him the rest. I had to do it now, while we were both being completely honest, before things got out of hand. I didn't let myself consider what I meant by that thought.
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain it to you," he choked out. He met my eyes again, and I could see the unspoken questions there. Could I trust him anyway? Could we move on from here, either as friends or something else, knowing that there would always be a secret between us?
Steeling myself, I shook my head slightly to clear it as I tried to gather my thoughts and my courage. Adam swallowed hard and dropped his head. "Can you ever forgive me, Teela?" he asked quietly. "Or have I lost you forever?" The words thrilled me and gave me hope. The tone broke my heart, because he sounded so incredibly lost.
"I don't know where we go from here," I responded. My heart wanted to love him again, but frankly... "I don't trust you, Adam." There was so much more that needed to be said. I couldn't find the words. My body was betraying me; I wanted to touch him, but I held myself still, searching fruitlessly for words.
Adam broke the barrier as he moved to sit beside me again and turned my face gently to ensure eye contact. For a few seconds I thought he was going to kiss me, which panicked me and set my heart racing in anticipation. However, he didn't. He just stared into my eyes for a moment. Those stupid tears started again. I truly had missed him. "I don't expect you to trust me right now," he said in a low voice. I could almost see him gather his courage as he swallowed again. The next words were hoarse, almost fearful. "I'd like a second chance, Teela. To at least be friends. To see if maybe we could be more."
I pulled away slightly in confusion. "You said you weren't free to marry." And I certainly wasn't going to play games with him.
"I wasn't nine years ago, and I can't give you an explanation for that," he clarified. "But things have changed, Teela. I could marry you now." He took my hand and intertwined our fingers. "Teela, I know we've both changed. I know we would need to give this time. If you'll give us a chance, I'll court you properly this time." He met my eyes again. "I want to do that for you, Teela."
Now his actions this evening made sense. It felt like too much to take in, especially since I still hadn't told him what had happened after he left. I was torn in two. I wanted to so badly not to tell him, to just let my secret remain hidden away. But I knew I had to say something. He deserved to know the truth, because right now, he was blaming himself for what I'd become, and that wasn't fair to him. I swallowed hard, but when I opened my mouth, the intended words didn't come. "Tell me about your time away," I requested instead. Grayskull forgive me, I needed a few minutes to gather my courage.
Understanding showed in Adam's sad half-smile as he proceeded to do just that. It sounded almost like a vacation, and I couldn't help teasing him a little about it. "If only you had known how much you like goofing off and doing nothing," I said lightly.
Adam chuckled, the sound flowing over me and soothing my nerves. Now that I had had a little time to collect myself, I felt strong enough to tell him, even though my stomach churned at the thought. "Adam, I need to tell you what happened after you disappeared," I said softly. A tear escaped as I cast my gaze towards the well-manicured gardens, the white flowers giving a soft purple glow in the twilight. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him reach for my hand, but then there was a sudden intake of breath. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I looked up at him. Sure enough, his hand was to his temple, his eyes closed. I blew out an aggravated breath. I knew what was coming next.
His eyes popped open, a little scared and deeply apologetic. "Teela, I uh…" he trailed off as I stared hard at him.
"Just remembered something you have to do?" I supplied dryly, having heard the excuse a thousand times before. It brought to mind the fact that the night after our fight he had been out, coming back to the palace in the wee hours of the morning. I stood angrily. What had I been thinking, allowing him to weasel his way back into my good graces? I had actually started to feel badly, when he was the one who had screwed it all up. He might have loved me, but that didn't change what he'd done.
Adam's eyes widened, taking on a panicked look. I tapped my foot impatiently, expecting him to try to make additional excuses or apologize. But he did neither. "I have to go," he said, his tone urgent. "Now." Without another word he sprang up and ran out of the garden, calling for Cringer.
I stared after him in disbelief for a moment, my teeth grinding together as I reflected on his audacity. I took a deep breath, then another, blowing each one out as carefully and slowly as I could, imagining my aggravation going out with them. As I saw it, there were two problems with me and Adam. One was his secrets. The other problem we had was my tendency to jump to conclusions. I couldn't do anything about his secrets, but I could keep my own habits in line.
My eyes narrowed as I stared off in the direction he had run. There were other choices. Of course I could blindly trust him, as I had tried to do before. But I could also use my investigative skills to find out what his secrets were. Or I could just get him to tell me.
I pursed my lips thoughtfully as I considered those options, and it didn't take long for me to decide which path I would take. I had had nine years to reflect on everything I had ever known about Adam. Something had been off ever since he turned sixteen. As Captain of the Guard, I had to respect the fact that the prince had secrets. But things had changed. If he was truly interested in courting me, then the time for secrets was over. Whether he told me the truth or I figured it out, I was going to learn what he was hiding.
Right after I came clean about my own secret.
