Chapter Twenty-Nine: Cultivation
I awoke with a groan at the morning light that hit my eye. I started to stretch, but something was weighing down my left arm so I looked over… "Oh, yeah…"
Kotomi slept peacefully, her face just inches from mine. She lay on her side facing me, and the breath of her slumber tickled my face. Her beautiful eyes were closed, of course, and I smiled as I realized that she had long, full eyelashes. Why hadn't I noticed this before?
Maybe because we had never slept together before. Slept together…my thoughts went back to last night, and I felt my face grow hot again. I knew that there wasn't anything to be embarrassed about, but I had never felt that…vulnerable…before.
A smile lit up Kotomi's face for just a moment and, with a smile of my own, I wondered what she was dreaming about. Me, hopefully; I liked making her smile.
I couldn't help myself, and I shifted her slightly so I could place a gentle kiss on her forehead. Unfortunately, that had the effect of waking her up as she grunted and started to stir.
"Good morning," I said softly.
Large, violet-colored eyes opened and looked up at me. "Tomoya-kun…" she said sleepily, a soft smile on her face. "Good morning."
"Sleep well?"
She nodded as she reached up to rest a hand on my face. "Very."
"W-Well g-good," I stammered as I realized the implications of my question. "I'm sorry for waking you."
"Mm-mmnn," she replied, shaking her head. "I would hate to sleep away our time together." She sat up and started to rub her eyes, but stopped. "Oh. I am still undressed."
I contained a chuckle to ask, "Do you want to shower first, or should I?"
"I will go first…thank you, Tomoya-kun." She started to look around for something to wrap herself in, so I quickly got out of bed, naked as a jaybird, and found a towel. I heard an 'eep' and turned to find her covering her eyes.
"You okay, Kotomi-chan?"
"Tomoya-kun! Please do not surprise me like that!" she exclaimed, her eyes still covered.
"Sorry," I said, crawling back under the sheets. "Here, I found a towel for you." I then chuckled as she groped around with one hand, her eyes still closed. "You can open your eyes now; I'm under the covers."
She cautiously opened an eye before taking the towel, wrapping herself in it, and heading to the bathroom.
After she had her shower I went and took mine. As the water washed off the events from yesterday I let my mind wander. Sex with Kotomi was…interesting. In a good way.
On the few occasions that I watched porn at Sunohara's place, it always seemed like the couples were focused on the physical stimulation side of things. More and more (and sometimes weirder and weirder) ways to 'pleasure' your partner. There were many times I would have to leave because of how…upsetting…it was. I always felt that there had to be something more to sex than just the physical part of it, but I wasn't sure what 'more' there was. Society used to restrict sex to married couples for a reason, I figured.
Being with Kotomi, though, really opened my eyes. She was so innocent about the whole thing. Not naïve…innocent. Like she was enjoying it because it was with me, not because it just 'felt good'. For me, it was a relief to not have to guard myself, to be me, that I was safe to be me with her. That she loved me, flaws and all and, through the act of lovemaking, she…accepted me.
I felt my chest swell at that thought. Being accepted…isn't that what everyone wants, what everyone dreams of? I could feel pressure on my eyes, and I pointed the showerhead toward my face to wash off the tears that weren't forming. No tears, nope.
I tiptoed into the bedroom just in case Kotomi had decided to nap a bit before fully waking up; I knew that I needed to do that sometimes. To my surprise, she was awake but still under the covers. "Are you okay?" I asked.
"Tomoya-kun…" she patted the bed next to her. I started over to grab a set of nightclothes, but her voice stopped me. "Wait…no…"
Did she mean what I thought she did? I cautiously made my way over the bed, sliding the towel off of me to slip under the covers again. "Is this what you wanted?"
She nodded, then grabbed my arm and buried her face in it; I realized that she was also still undressed. "Could we…could we…?"
"Could we what?" I asked. I had a clue as to what she wanted, but this was one area where I did not want to be wrong. "What do you want?"
"Could we have sex again?" her voice came from somewhere around my underarm.
I chuckled at her awkwardness. She was so adorable! "Of course," I said. "Are you going to be okay, though? You just-"
"I am fine," she quickly interrupted. "I just…I miss you."
It was weird, because I missed her too, even though she was right there. "Yeah, it sounds weird, but I miss you, too," I said, gently squeezing her.
I started to turn toward her, but she suddenly popped up and pushed my shoulders down. "No."
"No?" I asked, confused. "Did I do something wrong?"
From above me she shook her head, and I noticed that one of her hair ornaments had slid down. "T-Tomoya-kun, you did all the work last time, so…" She was blushing clear to her neckline. "…so let me do the work this time."
I didn't know that I could love her any more than I already did. And once she started moving, I realized that she loved me more than I could have ever known.
"Now that we're married, I really want to work and make something of myself," I told her as we snuggled under the covers.
"You have spoken of becoming a philosopher," she murmured sleepily into my shoulder.
"I'll have to check our finances, but I think I could work toward a degree." I looked over at my wife. "Not all of us are natural geniuses, after all."
"You are smart, Tomoya-kun…just in a different way." She looked up at me. "You understand a lot about people. I am not very knowledgeable about that."
"Thanks, Kotomi-chan," I said as a stroked her silky hair. "That means a lot to me."
"Go to university, study hard…" she gave me a squeeze. "I love you so much."
Your love, Kotomi-chan…I felt like I could do anything because of that.
