Chapter 29 – The Confession

Julia sat motionless for a few seconds before raising her head to look at Jane. He was still facing her, his eyes dark and stern.

He decided he needed to prod her a little, his threat to her mother not enough to get her to talk so he decided on a different tact. 'It's liberating, isn't it? Taking someone's life like that, feeling the power it gives you, it's intoxicating' he said softly to her.

Lisbon suppressed a gulp beside him, doing everything in her power to not put him off but every part of her being didn't like where this conversation was heading and was screaming at her to leave the room. Perhaps he had been right; perhaps she didn't want to see this side to him any longer after all.

He continued, his eyes never leaving Julia's. 'When your hands were around her throat what did you say to her, what were the last words she ever heard? Tell me, Julia. I know you want me to know. We've both had the same experience, share yours with me.'

Julia replied softly, in an almost seductive tone, 'Tell me about yours first.'

Lisbon shifted uncomfortably, unable to sit still any longer. Jane took her hand beneath the table, all the while holding Julia's gaze.

Jane replied, 'Okay. That's fair I guess. Well he was shot already so didn't put up much resistance. Guess it was the same for you. You had injected Kerry so she couldn't fight you off either. I can understand that, she was a strong girl, there's no way you would have been able to do it so cleanly without the drug.'

'I thought you were going to talk about your experience first.'

Jane nodded, failing at his first gambit of getting the confession he would have liked. He braced himself for what he was about to say and continued.

'Sorry, getting ahead of myself. Okay, so he lay on the ground. I sat astride him and just looked into his eyes to begin with. I saw the terror and fear in them and rejoiced in the feeling of absolute happiness it gave me. As I put my hands around his throat he began to gasp for air. I enjoyed that feeling even more, hearing his lungs empty and knowing I was responsible for doing that to him, thrilled that I was the last face he would ever see.'

Lisbon sat still but pulled her hand away from Jane, a sick feeling inside of her growing with every word he spoke.

Julia sat mesmerized at his words, instead of the sick feeling they had brought upon Lisbon, she was entranced by them. She asked 'Did you say anything to him before you finished him off?'

Jane shook his head and lied. 'No, I didn't say a word, just relished in the feeling.' After a moment he saw the glimmer in her eyes and said softly, 'Your turn now.'

Julia was almost hypnotised by his tone. 'Yes, I killed Kerry Matthews. I strangled her and I loved every moment of it.'

Jane sat back, still looking into her eyes. 'Why Kerry?'

Lisbon exhaled, more secure in the standard questions coming from him now.

'You don't know why? Really?'

Lisbon answered 'Enlighten us.'

Julia's gaze shifted to Lisbon. 'Why do you think McAllister never killed you, Agent Lisbon. After all, you were, are, the closest person to Patrick Jane?'

'What's that got to do with why you killed Kerry Matthews?'

Julia replied, smiling once again, 'Why it's got everything to do with it, Agent Lisbon.'

Lisbon sat stunned, waiting for a further explanation but then Julia said loudly, 'I'm getting a little tired of answering questions for now, I guess I better ask for an attorney.' She sat back in the chair, folded her arms and looked calmly at both of them.

Lisbon got up abruptly. 'Fine, you're going to need a hell of a one!', exiting the room.

Jane sat studying Julia for a few more seconds before leaving the room himself.

Lisbon marched into the observation room to speak to Abbott to find out his view on what he just heard, Jane following behind her. Abbott sent Fischer in to make the formal charge against her and arrange her counsel. Lisbon, unwilling for now to look Jane in the eye, left the room to get a cup of coffee.

Jane remained in the room with Abbott, watching her as she left the room, a worried expression on his face.

'Did I go too far?' he asked Abbott quietly.

'You didn't threaten her mother directly and you got a confession from her, albeit a limited one for now, so I would say no, you didn't for a change' Abbott replied.

Jane nodded.

Abbott eyed him curiously. 'Or are you asking me on a more personal level if you went too far?'

Jane shrugged.

Abbott smiled. 'What's this, the great Patrick Jane asking me for tips on what to say or not say in front of his girlfriend during an interrogation?'

Jane smiled thinly. 'You know you're enjoying my discomfort a little too much, Dennis.'

'You know Lisbon better than anyone so you already know the answer to that.'

'Gee, thanks, Dr Phil.'

'But the two of you better figure something out that works for you both if you want to continue working together. The last thing I need around here is a domestic matter getting in the way of my case results.'

Jane rolled his eyes and replied, 'You're all heart, Dennis' before exiting the room.

When he got to the break area she was standing there, her eyes engrossed in the coffee she was holding.

'Hey' he said brightly, getting a cup of tea.

'Hey' she replied, acting as breezy back. 'Great job in getting her to confess, what do you think she meant by the reason she killed Kerry was somehow because of McAllister not killing me?'

Jane studied her. Lisbon was pushing all other thoughts about what he had said back there to the back of her mind. The two of them were quite expert in doing that, he thought, shoving back uneasy feelings so they didn't have to face them.

He answered 'Don't know. I'll have to think about it some more. But I got her to crack once, I'm confident I can get the whole truth from her.'

Lisbon nodded, looking back into her coffee.

'I told you not to come in there with me. I told you I may say things that would upset you. You were the one who told me you would be okay with whatever I said' he said harshly from the other side of the room.

Lisbon nodded again, still unable to look him fully in the eyes and answered quietly, 'I know.'

Jane nodded and stomped out of the room leaving her staring into the cup.


When Lisbon walked back to her desk Jane was sitting on his couch, sipping his tea thoughtfully. He looked up at her as she approached.

Instead of sitting at her desk she sat beside him, looking at him for a second. He turned around to look at her, raising his eyes for her to speak.

Lisbon shifted uncomfortably and said softly 'You're right, I did say that. It was just...strange the way you described the feelings you had. Was that true, what you told her? Is that how it felt to you?'

Jane sighed, closed his eyes for a second and leaned back in the couch. He moved himself forward again. 'What does it matter? It's done with, isn't it? What does it matter how I felt then? You think I wanted to start dwelling on all of that again? It was the only thing I could think of that could help me connect with her to get to her. It worked, wasn't that the most important thing?'

Lisbon thought for a second and began to speak but Jane interrupted her.

'To answer your question, some of what I told her was true, some wasn't so can we just leave it at that? That man plagued our lives for ten years, mine for even longer than that. Are you going to let him to continue to win? Let him ruin what we have now? You said we should focus on the future not the past so let's do that, shall we?'

He exhaled loudly, taking a sip of tea with shaking hands.

Lisbon replied and nodded, taking a hand from around his cup, 'Okay then, let's do that.'