The night was one of the longest of my life. I was restless but had no desire to hunt. Instead I paced before my hearth for hours, wearing down the floorboards with my incessant tread.

What would I do if Bella decided she could not marry me? I could not remain here amid the memories and with the knowledge that I might see her beautiful face and slender figure walking in the woods or passing through town. I could not practice medicine without her help, either, so I would have no reason to stay in Oregon. I would have no other recourse but to return to Carlisle and Esme. Their love for me was sincere, but it was not the same as Bella's. It might not be enough to sustain me.

Was she the thread that wove the fabric of my being together? I had felt months ago that she had healed me, and now I recognized the danger in this. Without her, would I begin to unravel again?

A pallid sun rose in the morning, the skies gray with rain clouds. I waited until 8:00 to leave and dash to the grove. I did not wish to press Bella if she were not ready to speak with me. Perhaps she needed more time to make a decision. I knew she loved me; that was not at issue. But could she bear to have a life with me knowing it would be incomplete? The ties of marriage were both emotional and physical, and I was certain she wanted both.

My steps slowed as I approached the grove. My head hung and my shoulders slumped as my feet shuffled over the ground. Birds twittered, animals stirred, and the leaves rustled in the breeze, but to me it was just a bland susurration. I paid little attention to the sounds around me until I detected one I recognized. The gentle thumping of a human heart was nearby. I knew the unique rhythm immediately.

I lifted my head to see Bella sitting at the edge of the copse, her back against a tree. She had a shawl wrapped around her shoulders, clasped tightly in her hands. Her skin was very pale, and her lips were only the faintest shade of pink.

"Edward," she whispered. "You came."

"Of course I did," I replied, hurrying forward. I knelt before her. I could see the gooseflesh raised upon her fair skin. "Darling, you're cold. What are you doing out here in the chilly weather?"

"I was waiting for you."

"For how long?"

"Since sun-up."

"Oh sweetheart," I said regretfully, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to wait for me…"

"I didn't want to miss you. I was afraid if I wasn't here you'd think I didn't want to see you, and you'd go away." Her eyes were large and dark against her wan complexion. "Edward, please don't leave me."

Surrounded by trees, hair mussed by the breeze, she looked so small, so frail, and so hurt.

A little shudder ran through her, and in an instant I had scooped her into my arms and begun running toward the house. I took her inside and placed her on her bed, wrapping the quilt around her. I had moved so quickly that she had barely had time to take a breath before she found herself cocooned in blankets.

"I'm going to make some tea for you," I began, turning away.

But her small hand clutched at my wrist, stopping me. "Edward," she said, "wait."

I did, and when she whispered "sit" I obeyed. Without thinking, I slid my arm around her, pulling her to me. Her eyes brimmed with tears, and she tried to suppress a sob.

"Sshh, love, please don't cry," I murmured, kissing her brow. "I'm sorry… Of course I won't leave you. I will remain with you as long as you want me to."

"Forever," she whispered, nuzzling against my chest.

I held her more tightly, rubbing her back softly as another sob escaped her. She sniffled and swiped at her eyes then looked up at me. Her expression held love, devotion, and relief.

"Forever," I repeated, delivering a tender kiss to her lips. Then I kissed her damp cheeks and eyelids, her jaw, and the soft spot beneath her left ear. My mouth moved with feather lightness over her neck, my lips brushing against the artery that pulsed with life.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you, too," she replied huskily. "And I want to marry you, absolutely and unconditionally. If I know that you will lie beside me and hold me in your arms every night while I fall asleep, that will be more than enough."

"Oh my darling, I can do that."

I kissed her neck again, then her chin, and finally her mouth. When I looked at her face again, I noticed that her eyes remained swollen and dark; she had slept poorly—if at all—last night.

"Let's start right now," I said, easing her down to rest her head against the pillow. I kept my arms around her.

To my surprise, she wriggled and shifted until I had turned onto my back, then she moved to lay her head upon my chest. She gave a little sigh and closed her eyes.

"Mmm," she murmured sleepily, "perfect, Dr. Cullen."

"For me too, Mrs. Cullen."

I loved the sound of her new name and decided that I would use it as often as possible the moment we were wed. Rain began to patter on the rooftop, and the skies had grown even darker than before. But I was utterly content as the woman I loved beyond all else slept quietly in my arms.


I suppose I had reached a tenuous peace with myself. While I still worried that Bella would eventually desire more than I could give her, I knew that being apart was absolutely not the solution. The memory of her pale, distraught face as she sat shivering in the grove still haunted me. I could not subject her to such distress again. Perhaps our marriage would not be the same as other couples', but in a sense that was fitting. We were probably the most unique couple in the world.

Still, my desire to please my wife completely remained. She deserved all the joy I could offer her. I determined to speak with Carlisle at the earliest opportunity to seek his counsel. His rationality and wisdom might allow him to view the situation in a different manner than I could.

The wedding was set for April 22, a Saturday that I hoped would bring pleasant weather. We would exchange our vows in the small church in town at sunset, amid the gentle glow of candlelight. There would be no risk of an errant ray of sunshine glittering upon my face… and Bella would look particularly lovely in the soft light.

Carlisle and Esme were scheduled to arrive on April 14. They would stay at the new house, where Esme would put the finishing touches on the décor and furnishings. Bella's mother and new husband would arrive on April 21 and board at the small rooming house in Madras. Bella did not feel entirely comfortable in the couple's presence, so it was best that they not sleep at her house.

Early in the morning on April 14, I heard a peculiar noise as I finished brushing Stanley in Bella's barn. I had not heard such a thing in some time, and it took me a moment to identify the sound. It was an engine, a motorcar engine more precisely. An automobile was rumbling toward the house.

I stepped out of the barn to see the vehicle making its way over the rough ground. The motorcar had a soft top that was folded back, revealing the passengers clearly to me. Inside sat Carlisle and Esme, smiling and waving.

I sprinted out to intercept them as Carlisle slowed the automobile. He was still grinning. Esme was in my arms in an instant, embracing me warmly.

"Edward, how I've missed you!" she cried, kissing my cheek then standing back to run a critical eye over me. "You look wonderful, dear—so happy."

"I am," I replied. "Happier than I've ever been."

Carlisle had left the car running but hopped out to envelop me in his arms. "It's good to see you, son," he said.

"You, too." I arched an eyebrow at the automobile. "This is new."

He laughed. "Yes. I thought it would be enjoyable to travel by motor car."

I eyed the boxes and trunks nearly overflowing from the rear seat. "And it gave you more room for luggage, too," I commented with a chuckle.

Esme clapped her hands. "I got everything you asked for," she informed me gleefully.

"And then some," I added.

"Well, it's not every day that my son gets married. I've just brought a few things for you. And Bella is such a lovely girl… I couldn't resist purchasing an item or two for her, as well."

"Esme, she doesn't like extravagance," I began.

"Nonsense! Every girl likes a little luxury, even if she doesn't know it."

Carlisle gestured toward the automobile again. "Get in, Edward, and let's go see your bride."

We all piled into the front seat, and Carlisle drove the rest of the way to the house. Bella was inside doing her washing, but she heard the commotion and came out to great us. Her expression showed her surprise at the conveyance.

"Oh my!" she exclaimed. "Hello!" She began waving and hurried across the porch.

I was just climbing out of the car when I heard her little cry. My gaze shot to her. She was sprawled on the ground, hands before her. Her heart was racing, and her breaths came heavily.

"Bella!" I cried, rushing to her. Carlisle and Esme were right upon my heels.

She had tripped on the porch steps, of course, and I had been too preoccupied to see her stumble and had failed to catch her before she fell.

"Oh, sorry," she murmured, her cheeks flushing as she began to push herself up on her hands.

"Are you all right?" I asked, inhaling carefully to detect any traces of blood. I glanced at Esme. Carlisle had already looped his arm around her waist. He was breathing in slowly, too.

Bella nodded. "I think so."

I smelled no blood, but still I moved my gaze over her assiduously as I took her hands in mine. My fingers probed quickly yet gently over her hands and wrists. When I was satisfied that she had not sustained any injuries, I helped her to stand.

Carlisle released Esme, who moved with slight hesitation to embrace her future daughter-in-law. Bella immediately enfolded her in her arms, likely unaware of the potential danger she had just eluded.

Carlisle stepped over to hug Bella, as well, then my fiancée walked with my assistance to the vehicle to admire it.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked, calmer now, her spirits buoyed by Bella's enthusiasm.

"Oh, it's wonderful," she replied.

Esme and Carlisle exchanged enigmatic grins, then my father clapped a hand over my shoulder.

Eyes moving from Bella to me, he said, "The car is for the two of you—a wedding gift from us."

Bella gasped and pressed a hand over her mouth. I slid my arm around her shoulders. "It's too much," she said incredulously.

"Nonsense," Esme replied. "This is a very special event, and this is the least we can do. Besides, you'll need a way to reach your honeymoon destination."

"But we have Stanley," Bella protested mildly.

"I think he will appreciate a little vacation," Carlisle said. "From what Edward has written, the poor fellow has been working awfully hard lately with trips back and forth to town."

"I…" Bella's eyes moved from Carlisle to Esme, "I don't know what to say, except for thank you."

"That's more than enough," Esme replied with a warm smile. "Now, you boys unload the packages. Bella and I have some wedding details to discuss." She slid her arm through Bella's and led her inside.

"Thank you," I said, giving Carlisle's hand a hearty shake.

"I think you'll enjoy it," he responded. "It's great fun to drive, and you can put the top up if the weather requires it. I'll show you how everything works after we take these things inside."

We had the trunks and boxes in the house within a few minutes, then Esme shooed us outside and told us to take a drive for at least an hour. Bella appeared slightly anxious, but I knew what this was about, at least in part.

"Don't worry, love," I told her, "she'll be gentle with you." I kissed her cheek then submitted to Esme's waving motions and left with Carlisle.

He gave me some instruction about how to operate the motor car, then I climbed into the driver's seat and we set off along the path toward town. We chatted amiably for a short while, but soon the conversation turned more serious.

"How is Esme doing?" I asked, recalling the slight rigidity I'd seen in her body when Bella fell.

"Well, I believe. She's been able to do quite a bit of shopping in the last month or so. I accompanied her, of course, just in case, but her control is quite strong. She's such a loving creature; I think that helps her to suppress her urges."

I nodded, understanding this. Even without being able to feel Bella's physical sensations, I had never been tempted by her blood, even when it was fresh. My affection for her overrode my more primal impulses.

"Bella looks well," Carlisle said, his innate perceptiveness likely attuning him to my thoughts.

"She is."

"I'd like to hear more about her effect on you. You wrote that you've tested it in several situations and with several humans…"

"Yes. It seems to apply regardless of the individual or his affliction. I performed a Cesaerian section, set a compound fracture to the radius, sutured a severe leg laceration, treated a sprained knee… and I felt no pain, no discomfort whatsoever."

"Fascinating. But she has to be in actual physical contact with you."

I gave a nod of acknowledgment. "Even just a light touch of her fingers is sufficient to block the sensation."

"Perhaps it is some sort of enhanced nerve conduction," he mused. "If the electrical impulses were stronger than normal, I wonder if they could affect your own neural activity?"

"Honestly, Carlisle, I don't know. I can find nothing atypical about Bella, other than this one talent. The irony of it is that she becomes ill when she smells blood—"

"When she smells blood?" he repeated.

"Yes."

"Hmm. Humans usually can't smell blood. Most who become ill from it are affected by the sight."

"I know… oh, do you think that could have something to do with her other ability?"

"I really don't know, but it's an intriguing theory. Hyperosmia could indicate some anomaly in the olfactory nerve or other neurological issue."

"Yes…But I performed a cranial nerve exam a few months ago and found nothing out of the ordinary."

"Still, this is a major difference between her and other humans, and it's the one that has allowed you to consider returning to medicine. I think it's quite important that you attempt to understand it fully. What if it is something temporary? If it should cease functioning at some point, the results could be disastrous."

I had never considered this, but I suppose I should have. I stopped the car and slumped forward, my hands gripping the steering wheel. "I didn't think of that," I admitted.

I felt his hand come to rest against the back of my neck. "I have been a physician for a great many years, Edward," he said gently. "I cannot help but seek explanations for humans' physical atypicalities. And I have found, invariably, that there is always an explanation of one sort or another."

"So what are you thinking? Do you have any theories? Because I can tell you that I have spent a great deal of time with Bella and have been very close to her physically, and I have never sensed anything out of the ordinary."

He arched an eyebrow. "Edward? Have you and Bella… consummated your relationship?"

I would most certainly have blushed if I were able. Instead I groaned. "No, Carlisle, of course not!" My voice was heavy as I added ruefully, "As if that were even possible."

"Son?" he pressed, both curious and concerned now. "What do you mean?"

Suddenly I felt confined even in the open vehicle. I jumped out and darted over the low hill beside the trail. Carlisle followed closely.

"Edward, something's the matter," he said, coming to stand before me. He placed his hands upon my shoulders. "Tell me what's wrong."

I closed my eyes, my body rigid now. "I can't be a proper husband to her," I said miserably.

"Are you worried about your wedding night?" I did not open my eyes, but I heard the smile in Carlisle's voice. "I am quite sure that you understand the mechanics, and you comprehend the physiology perfectly. I don't think you've anything to fret about, son."

How his brilliant mind had not grasped the problem remained a mystery to me. I opened my eyes to glare at him. "That's not the issue! My God, Carlisle, can't you see? I'm afraid I'll injure her, or even kill her."

I had rarely seen him look so astonished. He blinked at me. "Edward, no…"

I nodded fiercely. "Yes. I can't feel her body's responses, so I wouldn't know if I was causing her pain. And if I lost control for even a few seconds, the results would be disastrous."

His brow furrowed. "You have kissed Bella deeply, yes?"

I nodded. "Of course. She's my fiancée…"

"And you have held her in your arms, and I imagine you have caressed her face, her hands…"

"Yes. I adore her. I love to touch her."

"Have you ever kissed her neck, just here?" He touched the skin beneath my left ear.

I nodded. "She seems to enjoy that."

A flicker of a smile crossed his lips. "You have had your mouth over her neck, against her carotid artery where the blood flows strongly and fragrantly, yet you have never bitten her or even bruised her, have you?"

"No, of course not. I'm always very gentle with her."

"Yes," he nodded, "of course you are. So what makes you think you will not be equally gentle, equally in control of your urges, when you touch her more intimately on your wedding night?"

Shame washed over me as I admitted, "I did hurt her once. I left a mark on her shoulder."

"When was that?"

"In January."

"What happened?"

My flawless memory permitted me to recall the incident with perfect clarity. "I was kissing her and touching her… caressing her cheek, then her jaw, her neck and then her shoulder. Her blouse slipped aside a bit, exposing the skin above her clavicle. I ran my fingers over it, then I kissed it, and I was too rough. She cried out in pain."

He waited for me to continue, his gaze intent.

"I feared I had hurt her, broken her clavicle."

"But you didn't."

"No. But there was a mark. I had been too rough."

"Did it leave a bruise?"

I shook my head. "The mark faded in a few minutes."

"So you didn't really harm her at all."

"It depends upon how you define harm."

"Was Bella upset by it?"

"No. She insisted she was fine… but I left a mark on her." I emphasized the last phrase, feeling he did not understand the importance of it.

"And have you injured her in any way since then?"

"No, but—"

He held up his hand. "Edward, you are a rational, highly intelligent individual. Have you been listening to yourself? Think about everything you've told me, everything we've just discussed."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he shook his head.

"Just think for a few moments."

I exhaled a small snort of exasperation but forced myself to replay his words and mine: You have had your mouth over her neck, against her carotid artery where the blood flows strongly and fragrantly, yet you have never bitten her or even bruised her, have you … I'm always very gentle with her…

I understood his point, but I felt he still did not fully grasp mine. "Perhaps I haven't really hurt her yet," I said, "but I've nearly lost control. When I'm close to her, touching her and breathing in her scent, I feel things, strong urges, desires that push me to be even closer."

"And that is precisely how a husband should feel with his wife," he said kindly. "You want to be as close to her as possible, physically connected. It is truly the joining of both body and soul."

"You're speaking of your experience with Esme," I said with minor indignation. "Of course you can be as close to her as you wish. You can do whatever you like with her because she's not breakable. But Bella is human, Carlisle! My God, don't you see the danger in that? I could fracture her pelvis, crush her hand or arm or shoulder, dislocate her hips, or worse. Think about it." My tone was growing desperate. "Think about the internal damage I could inflict!"

I stepped back and spun away, hands clenched into fists. I was breathing heavily, the breath unnecessary but spurred on by my emotional state.

"Edward." Carlisle's voice was calm, soft, unperturbed. "I am not a fool. I understand what you are worried about, and I think your concerns are very reasonable, very realistic. But I want you to consider how close you and Bella have grown. Your physical closeness has come in small steps, hasn't it? And with each new step, you were able to adjust, to maintain your control. This final step is admittedly a very large one, but you needn't take it as a singlestride. You can work your way up to it gradually, acclimating yourself slowly until you feel ready to complete it. I'm sure Bella will understand—"

A short, mirthless laugh rumbled from my chest. "She already does. I've told her that we can't have… marital relations, that it's too dangerous."

"You have?" He sounded surprised. "Well, I suppose it's good that you discussed it with her. And how does she feel about this?"

"She's acquiesced to my wishes. She told me that she's content to have me hold her as she sleeps."

Carlisle's hand wrapped gently around my wrist. "Son, I would never urge you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable or that causes you anxiety. If that is the agreement you and Bella have reached, that is your decision and it is not for me to judge you. But please know that I trust you. And that is not an empty platitude. I've seen the way you interact with her. Even if you are not aware of it consciously, your body reveres her. Your touch is light and loving, always respectful of her relative fragility. I've seen nothing that would make me worry about your harming her in any context."

"This from the man who didn't want me to marry her?" I asked with mild disdain.

"That was months ago, and my concerns stemmed from an entirely different source. I trust you have spoken with Bella about the issues I broached?"

I could not remain agitated in the face of his unruffled demeanor. My voice calmer now, I replied, "I did. She told me she wants me to change her eventually."

"Really?"

"She wants to be with me forever."

He stepped around so that he faced me again. "How did you respond to that?"

"I refused her initially, of course, but she asked me to think about it—not to rule it out entirely—and she's promised me at least two years."

"Well, you've some time then."

"Carlisle, I would never consider doing that to her."

He nodded. "That is between you and Bella. I think that focusing on the present is the best course of action now. You have a wedding to prepare for, son." A grin spread over his face.

"In more ways than one," I murmured.

He chuckled sympathetically, and we walked back to the automobile, my heart a bit lighter but my concerns not entirely alleviated.


To be continued...

Ah Carlisle, always the voice of reason! Is anyone else excited that he and Esme have returned? I was so happy to bring them back!