Team Fortress 2 and its characters belong to Valve. Most of this stuff remains canon; teams are portrayed in a more realistic manner (or as realistic as you can get with a game like this) while trying to stay true to the personalities of the characters involved. Have fun reading or simply close out of it if you don't.

Cheers.

---

"I bet he can crush a paint can with those fuckin' things."

The blonde Scout was scrubbing himself clean in a shower stall, talking over the rushing water to his brown-haired buddy in the next one over.

"Fuck cans, dude, I say he can throw a car."

"A tractor!"

"Dude!"

"Dude!"

The blonde grinned stupidly to himself the more he thought about it, "Wonder if we got any uh those around here. Maybe we could make him do it?"

"I dunno, I guess we can look later. You think he'd do it?"

"Shit, man," the blonde shut off his water and snatched up a towel as he jettisoned from his stall and nearly slipped and cracked his head open. Scouts. They never could just take their time like everyone else.. "I sure hope so. You know how fuckin' awesome that would be?"

The brunette poked his head out, soon to follow his friend and even faster to get dressed, "Fuck yea, dude. Tentaman versus a giant tractor. Holy fuck, maybe the guys on base would pay to see that!"

Their giddy moment was interrupted by the clearing of someone's throat. It was the green-eyed Spy and he looked none too impressed as he stood there with both hands in his pockets and an unlit cigarette poking out of the corner of his mouth. The Scouts stood defensively, fixing him with annoyed stares as per usual, "The fuck do you want, Spy?"

"You know.. I find it interesting how loud you boys can become.. Do you realize just how much a shower stall amplifies the sound of your voice?"

The two boys looked at each other, the blonde was nervous but still frowning..

Unintentionally, by way of an Engineer and a Demoman having come through the washrooms, their little secret had suddenly become publically rumored knowledge. The Spy stood between them and escape, informing them of the fact with an utterly grim expression on his sharp face.

..shit.

Everyone was looking at him funny.

The Red Sniper, having returned from his outing at the pond, waited until he was alone in a hall before lifting his arm to sniff at it. Did he smell like fish or something? Not especially.. but why else would everyone suddenly be staring at him like they knew something?

He rubbed at his chin thoughtfully, worry creasing his brow as he headed back toward his room to unload his supplies and gear up in his usual get-up of vest, quiver, and rifle. In fact, he was so distracted by the odd looks that he opened his door right into the Red Spy's face on his way back out.

"Hmnugh! Ahh!" the Frenchman wailed, a hand up at his nose in the blink of an eye as he winced and bent forward slightly.

"Chroist! I am.. wow. I am so sorry, are you ok, mate?"

"Ugh.." the Red Spy, the one who had previously been bedridden, nodded and sniffed a good number of times until it became clear that his nose wasn't in fact broken. On the plus side it always had pointed downward -- no harm done!

Still apologetic, the Sniper grimaced at him and attempted to keep his distance even as the man recovered and straightened out his suit, "So uh.. News, then?"

"Zhe proverbial cat eez out of zhe bag."

"..which cat?"

"Zhe catfish."

"Oh.. son of a!" he clenched a fist and almost threw it into his doorway before catching himself and grudgingly lowering his arm, "..who was it? Who did it?"

The Spy simpered and shook his head, "No one is really sure at zhe moment, Monsieur Sniper. Eet has spread as rumors which, despite our best efforts, are being taken as fact or, at best, curious myth."

Watching him sigh and knead at his temple, the Red Spy pulled the door open a bit wider and gestured up the hall with a hand, "Please.. come with me. Eet has been decided zhat a briefing will be given in zhe mess hall. No doubt zhe men will all wish to know and.. I suppose eet is only fair zhat the entire team decides what is to be done about your ah.. friend."

The Sniper's hand moved over his mouth, head shaking subtly as he stared down at the Spy's shoes. "They'll try and kill 'im," he muttered.

"You don't know zhat, Sniper."

"They won't leave him alone, Spoy, they'll be fah' too curious and it'll get him killed," he looked at the Frenchman now, concern apparent in both his voice and face for once..

Shifting his jaw, the Spy stepped up and took a firm stand on the situation, "To let zhem draw zheir own conclusions would only be worse, Monsieur." The Sniper looked distraught about it all, fixing the Spy with a look of pleading until he softened his tone of voice, "I will do all zhat I can.. Okay? His asylum eez almost a guarantee."

It bothered him to see the Aussie so troubled. Usually he was the problem solver. Usually he was the one coming up with bright ideas and calming people down. But with a dear friend on the line and with little he could do about it, the Spy imagined the man had every right to feel scared. That is why they left together, a supportive hand rested on the back of the man's shoulder as they headed for the mess hall in shared silence.

The sign loomed into view before they arrived. 'Very Important Briefing Today: Mess Hall.' The penmanship was terrible and the duo walked swiftly past it before they slipped inside the room.

Predictably, almost everyone who was off-duty was packed inside, those left on-duty waiting for their contacts to come and tell them the news. Everyone was antsy, some were excited, others terrified.. Some of the more religious were already murmuring about putting the critter out of its misery if it in fact did exist so close to the base.

As the chatter of whispering voices swept the room, the Sniper and Spy were able to sneak ineffectively unnoticed. The Spy subtly grabbed the Aussie's arm, squeezing it reassuringly as he left him to head for the front of the room where a few Soldiers and his colleagues were waiting.

Today was a day of visuals.

The Spies, all five of them, stood up front with varying degrees of discomfort on their faces as 80% of the Red team waited expectantly (and impatiently) for the answers to their questions. A podium had even been dragged in and a few photographs and diagrams had been tacked and drawn on a white-board off to the side of it.

There was no room to sit, no room to lean. They all stood side by side with the taller men in the back and the shortest stuck up front. In fact, the only place there was room was by the Spies and even they looked crammed.

"Jhentlemen," the green-eyed Spy began. His gaze swept the room, silence overtaking everyone as his voice flowed out through the microphone mounted before him. Once he deemed their attention to be on him, he continued, "Today you have been gathered to settle recent rumors moving around zhis base.. Undoubtedly you already know of zhem."

"Sea monsters!" someone piped up enthusiastically. A few coughed and murmured, someone sneezed. Someone else farted once it became quiet again though with the seating accommodations, there'd be no way of finding the culprit.

The Spy bowed his head patiently and went on, "Zhe man is a Blu Spy, experimented on by zhe Medics of Blu team and recently escaped from zheir labs. He is a person, Messieurs, and I would hope zhat you all remember zhat throughout zhis discussion.." A few groaned, some pointed and whispered derisively.

Stepping down from the podium, a shorter Spy taking his place with a grateful nod.

Ah.. The Sniper remembered him. He'd snuck up on him and nearly scared him into falling over a Teleporter. And as he adjusted his tie and fluttered his gaze over the men assembled, he regained that same look of arrogance that had trailed him the night they'd first spoken..

"Zhe first order of business is his purpose. I do believe you are under zhe impression zhat he means us harm. Indeed.. a natural fear. But he actually seeks to join forces with us -- zhat is why you have been called here, jhentlemen.. to decide--"

"Hell no!" a Soldier hollered from the side of the room. Around twenty people echoed his sentiment, striking up protests which naturally died down after the Spy glowered silently at them all.

"He can't be trusted!" a Demoman insisted.

"Squid is slippery, squid Spy -- perhaps twice as worse!" a Heavy bellowed.

"Boy might sap our equipment," agreed an Engineer.

"That maggot can only crawl, what good is he to us?" the insults came again from the Soldier wing of the crowd.

"Messieurs.. Messieurs!" he quieted them again, "We have already interrogated him at length to decide his honesty. What is more, he is responsible for saving the lives of several of our team members.."

"It's a farce!" the Soldier insisted, "He's using his dirty Blu tactics to squirm his way right into our base and I for one am not gonna open up the doors for that slimy scumbag!"

"Aye!"

"Darn tootin'!"

"He killed our Sniper!" someone called.

"Yea!"

"Yea, he drowned one of the Snipers!"

The Spy tried to quiet everyone down with increasing anger until finally he snapped his palms down against the podium and yelled, "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS." Were it not for his gloves, they might see his knuckles go white.

They'd never heard a Spy flip the 'F' word before. Usually it always came out in foreign languages. It generated a stunned silence for a few moments during which time the Red Sniper raised his hand and said, "Not dead, by the way. He's actually a really nice octopus for what it's worth.."

The entire room stared at him and he smiled sheepishly before the Spy up front cleared his throat and regained their attention as he gestured to the board, "Niceness aside.. Here is what else we know.."

The Sniper sighed as the briefing continued, often interrupted by protests and shouting though quelled in the same way each time -- a particularly shocking string of swearing or, at one occasion, a pistol shot to the ceiling. He felt awful inside and while he tried to keep it to himself, the attentive eye of a nearby doctor took notice of it.

It was the pastel-eyed rookie Medic from a few days ago. Though a bit nervous, he slipped past a looming Heavy and approached the lone gunman, "Pss."

Looking toward him with some curiosity, the Sniper lifted an eyebrow and began a whisper conversation with him, "What?"

"What is it like? ..the creature, I mean."

"He's very docile. A man just like you n' me, mate."

"I.. Okay." The Medic fell quiet for a little bit before asking, "Does he.. require medical attention?"

The Sniper's curiosity was prickled by the question, but a bit of noise suddenly broke out around the room. Both men looked forward to see chaos ensuing. Apparently lodging was being discussed if they decided to adopt the Tentaspy (or Decaspy as it was written on the board) into their team and few were okay with the idea of letting it inside the base..

"Gentlemen, please!" this time the Sniper's friend took the stand, "You are all being pig-headed and making judgments of color over character!"

"And what would YOO know about character, Spy? It saved yoo, so you're just prancin' aboot singin' its praises; why should we believe yeh?!" a Demoman accused. There were some murmurs, but a Heavy who had been standing quietly at the back of the room suddenly frowned and spoke up.

"Spy is credit to team!" he said loudly, causing many to look his way. It was the Heavy who had wrongfully been trying to get Bonk out of a Dispenser and boy was the Spy happy to see him. He continued, "Spy is helpful to teammates. Is smart man! He knows."

"Y-yeah dude.."

They attention shifted again, this time toward a blonde Scout who looked about ready to shit his pants as he prepared himself to go against the opinion of the majority of the team.

"This tenta-dude's not bad, guys. I mean.. I mean he coulda killed me today. I went at him with my bat and he just.. he just pushed me away. He coulda like.. He coulda broke me in half or somethin'. Shit.. I.. I dunno. He's not bad."

His brunette friend decided to vouch as well, sounding more confident as he built off the words of his teammate, "Yea guys, the fuck are you worried about anyway? He's stuck in a fuckin' pond and wouldn't even hurt a Scout. You seriously got your panties in a bunch over this?"

The men muttered among themselves and the Heavy in the back nodded with firm resolve as he glared his strong opinion around the room wordlessly. Those nearest to him knew better than to argue.

As the entire room thought it over, the Red Spy spoke into the microphone, "I ask you, Messieurs.. Do we make use of zhis tempting advantage, or do we throw it a-way? Think, my friends.. Think what it could mean to have such.. a unique fighter at our disposal." He tried to play it on an angle the Soldiers might even like, eyes wide with expectation.

The Sniper tensed, the Medic fidgeted, the Scouts glared, the Heavy frowned, and the crowd.....

"Let's give zhis idea a chance!" the elder Medic announced.

"Aye!"

"Worth a shot, mates."

"Fuckin' ace, dudes!"

"It might be to our tactical advantage.."

"Mm-mmmph mph!"

Relief swept over the Tentaspy's advocates, other matters being discussed at great length before everyone would be dismissed to their duties and quarters. The Tentaspy would stay, he would fight under the Red banner, and when the weather became too cold, he would be granted temporary lodging inside.

It was decided and, over the course of the weeks to come, to be put into motion..