Harry loves his Oshawott and Voldemort's addicted to Pokemon.


"Harry Potter, we meet a-"

"Shhhhh."

"What?!"

"My Oshawott's about to evolve."

"Your… Oshott?"

"Awesome, Dewott!"

"…What are these… things?"

"Well, Oshawotts are a part of a video game called Pokémon. You have to raise creatures, which have different attacks, and then face them off against each other in fights to earn money and badges. There are tournaments and gym leaders to defeat and everything."

"So this… veedio game pitches House Elves against each other in gory fights to the death for mere Galleons? And there are also Dark lords whom you have to crush in order to gain victory?"

"God, you make everything sound so evil. But, basically, yes."

"I like this game."

"Er, if it makes you like it any less; the Pokémon are cute."

"Give it here. In what insane world could vicious killing machines be cute- oh. I see what you mean."

"Yep."

"Oh my Merlin, they're adorable."

"Just makes you feel sick, doesn't it?"

"… just go up here… through this grass… ooo, I have a challenge!... what attack to use?..."

"Er, could I have my DS back now?"

"Take that, you pixilated fiend!"

"No, really, I'd like it back now."

"Ha! You should have known better than to mess with the Dark Lord..."

"… I hate you."

"What's new?"

"I really hate you."

"Shut up, my Bulbasaur is evolving."

"I wish you'd just die."

"Go suck a Poké Ball."