A/N
I feel like I should just say that the next few chapters will mention religion...I'm not trying to force the religion on you, I'm just trying to make this as realistic as possible.
Joe's POV
It had been two weeks since Prom. We were fine. We were actually better than fine. Quinn loved me, I loved her. It was great.
And then...there was a fallout.
Quinn and I had the worst fight ever. It was dark, sad and shocking. It tore us apart and I had no idea what would happen. Our moms tried to fix it, but it wasn't their battle. It was between Quinn and I. It was bad.
It started a week ago. It started out as a good day. School wasn't that hard and Glee club was fun. My mom had told me she was making my favourite meal and Quinn had went to the dentist the day before so her smile was that much prettier. It had seemed like a fine day. After school, I went home and did the little bit of homework I had. Then I had dinner, which was three tomato pasta. It was delicious. Then, at six thirty, Quinn texted me, asking if I wanted to go over and hang. So I did.
"Hey" Quinn greeted, opening the door for me.
"Hello" I smiled and stepped in the house. I took a deep breath and noticed something was missing. "Where is the delightful smell of a home-cooked meal?"
Quinn shrugged casually. "My mother went to a retirement party so I made a sandwich."
"So you only invited me over because you're alone?" I joked.
"Pretty much" Quinn grinned. "That's all you're good for, really."
"Hardy har har" I rolled my eyes. "Well, you should have told me and you could have had dinner with my mom and I."
"Where's you dad?" she asked me.
"He went to visit my aunt. She had hip surgery today" I told her. "Don't worry, it's not serious."
We went into the TV room and sat down.
"What shall we watch?" Quinn asked, picking up the remote. "TV or a movie?"
"I don't care" I said.
"How about the new Avengers movie?" Quinn asked.
"Alright! I heard Sam talking about that. He said it was really cool" I smiled.
Quinn chuckled. "He would. Sam's a total nerd like that." She stood up. "I think the DVD is in my room. Stay put, I'll be right back."
"Alrighty" I said, picking up an Instyle magazine. I could never understand why girls read these things. They're seventy percent ads and twenty percent ridiculous fashion trends. I don't care how many hit films you've starred in, overalls still look weird.
Quinn didn't come down for ten minutes. I had given up on the magazine five minutes ago. So, being the good boyfriend I was, I got up and went up the stairs looking for her.
I had been in her room plenty of times. When she was first in her wheelchair, I had helped move her stuff downstairs and one time she was too lazy to go upstairs and get a sweater so I did it for her.
"Quinn? Are you okay?" I asked, knocking on her door as I went in. She was on her knees digging through a box of DVDs. But her closet doors were flung open, as well as two desk drawers.
"I can't find the darn disk" she said without looking up. "I've look everywhere!"
"It's alright" I said, sitting down on the bed. "We can watch something else, I don't care."
"I know. But it'll bug me until I find it" Quinn sighed and ran a hand through her hair.
"You could pray to Saint Anthony. He's the patron saint of lost items" I suggested.
Quinn smiled. "Yeah." She sat down on the bed next to me and surveyed the room. "Where did I put it?"
I kissed her cheek. "It's okay. I don't even want to watch the movie."
She laughed and poked me. "You're just saying that!"
I shrugged. "I don't care what we watch, as long as we're together."
Quinn looked at me and smiled. "You always say the sweetest things."
I smiled. Next thing I knew, she was kissing me. Her hands went from my face down my chest to the hem of my sweater. My hands were on her waist. All of the sudden, the room got hotter and I realized how quiet the house was. And I knew where this was headed.
"Quinn! Wait" I said, pulling away quickly.
She stared at me but I couldn't read her emotion.
And suddenly, I was at a loss for words. So I stuttered my way through.
"Quinn, I-I'm sorry. I just...we n-need to...I don't know..." I took a deep breath.
Quinn just keep on staring at me.
"I'm a Christian" I finally said. "So are you."
"Observant" she gave a small smile.
"I'm p-proud to be one and I always do my best to follow Jesus' footsteps. And...one big thing that we Christians live by is abstinence. I believe in that. So I'm not...ready for...this. I'm not ready for IT. Not until after marriage. I can't tell you what to do, but I'd r-really like our first times to be with each other. But not...now."
Quinn nodded. "Joe, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even tried...anything. I'm sorry."
"It's okay" I said and hugged her.
"I'm sorry" she said again quietly.
"No, this is good" I said. "The subject isn't taboo anymore. It's on the table."
Quinn nodded. "You're right. This is good."
"It's just all out there" I said. "No secrets."
Quinn took a sharp breath and slowly let it out.
We sat in silence until she finally spoke.
"J-Joe?" she squeaked. She stared up at me with teary eyes. "I have something to say."
I paused. This was never a good start.
"You said you wanted our first times to be together and I want that too because I love you. But, for me, it's too late" she said slowly.
"Too late?" I repeated. I couldn't believe what she just said. She must be joking. Lying. Something. My angel, Quinn, was...not so angelic?
Quinn bit her lip and shook her head.
"Wait. You did...IT?" I asked in total disbelief.
She nodded. "Yeah. And...it's worse."
"Worse? Oh my gosh, Quinn, were you...?" I couldn't even finish that awful sentence.
"No! No" she said. "But...I got pregnant."
"Pre...pre...pregnant?" I stuttered. No. This was not true. A baby? Quinn had a baby? My mind was swimming. I couldn't believe it.
Quinn got up from sitting next to me. Her eyes were bursting with tears. She paced back and forth on the floor in front of me.
"Yeah" Quinn nodded.
"I...but...you...how? Why?" I mumbled.
Quinn sighed and I knew it was a long story that I'd have to endure.
"It was two years ago. I was head cheerleader and super popular. Every girl wanted to be me and every guy wanted to do me. I was dating Finn. And it was great. But one day, Puck smuggled some wine coolers into school for the Cheerios and the football players and I went too far. I got drunk and was feeling fat. So Puck and I...did it. It wasn't going to be any more than that. Then I found out I was pregnant. I knew Puck couldn't handle it, so I told Finn it was his. And he believed it, even though we hadn't done anything. But soon enough everyone knew. And by everyone, I mean my parents too. My mom...she's weak. She knew and didn't try to help. When my dad found out, he kicked me out. I moved in with Finn for a bit, but when everyone found out that it was Puck's, Finn and I broke up. So Puck and I tried a relationship. We knew that the little girl inside me needed parents and I wanted to be that. But it didn't work. We weren't cut out to be parents. He wasn't into it fully and I couldn't do it alone. So when Beth was born, we put her up for adoption. She was adopted by Rachel's mom soon after. I was glad. Beth got a great mother and I was free again. My mom ended it with my cheating father and I moved back in with her. But then, after a year I realized my life was nothing. I had done nothing. New Directions had done nothing. The best thing I'd ever done was create life...Beth's life. I went a bit insane last summer. I tried to get Beth back but failed. I tried to get pregnant again, but that failed too. Then I realized that maybe my life didn't have to end like a Teen Mom's. I turned myself around and focused on my education. Next year, I'm going to Yale. I'm already accepted. Beth was a mistake. Everything I did was a mistake. I regret it more than anything."
I was silent. Just taking in the story. I couldn't believe it. The Quinn I know apparently isn't who she is. I didn't even know what to say. What to think.
"What about me?" I asked finally.
"You...you were lucky. I had told myself that I was done with guys for a while. At least until University. But then you came along, being all cute and sweet and helpful and I fell. I fell in love. That's one of the few things I don't regret."
I had no questions. I had no story. I had nothing to say, really. Quinn was in tears and seemed to be really upset about it all.
I was upset too. I was upset that she had this whole history. I was upset that Quinn didn't take religion as serious as me. I was upset that I didn't know anything. I was upset that no one told me. Did my mom know? Did everyone in New Directions know? And no one bothered to tell me. No one bothered to tell me that my girlfriend had a whole secret past. And I bet no one would have told me. And what was that she said about Yale? She's already accepted. Of course. In a few months, she'd be graduating and leaving. Leaving me. Was I just someone to fill the void? Someone to love until she met someone better? Who was I kidding? She didn't even tell me about Yale. No one told me about Yale. But I bet everyone knew that too.
By now I was beyond upset. I was mad. I stood up and Quinn glanced at me with her tear filled eyes.
Then I heard an angry voice. Then I realized it was mine.
"How could you? How could you just keep that from me?"
"Joe, I'm sorry!" Quinn cried. "B-but it's the past!"
"Everything! You kept everything from me! The baby, the family, the Yale, the everything! And it's clearly not a secret because apparently, everyone else knows!" I yelled.
"You never asked!" Quinn yelled back.
"What was I supposed to ask? 'Hey Quinn, do you have any children that I don't know about?'" I shouted.
Quinn didn't reply.
"I feel like I don't even know you!" I continued.
"You do know me! This is me!" Quinn protested.
"I thought you were a good person."
"Are you saying I'm not? Because I was foolish and got drunk one day, I'm an awful person? I'm a terrible sinner? That's really selfish of you, Joe" Quinn glared at me.
Selfish? I was selfish? No, I wouldn't stand for that.
"I am not selfish. It's selfish that you kept all this important info from me. You have this whole other life and I had no idea!"
"It has nothing to do with you!" Quinn yelled.
"It had everything to do with me! You're not who I thought you were" I shot.
"I am who I am. I've changed since sophomore year, you know."
"Evidently!" I said.
"You have no idea how hard my life has been" Quinn growled. "No idea. And you can't come in here, all perfect and knowing, and tell me that I'm at fault. Nothing in my life was working out and I managed to come up on top. And you just break me down for that!"
"Break you down? No. I'm proud that you managed to overcome your life of mistakes. Congrats! And yeah, you're right I have no idea how 'hard' your life has been. Because no one told me!" I yelled.
"And that's my fault?" Quinn demanded.
"It's your life!"
Quinn glared at me. She was no where even close to her previous teary eyed state. She was fuming now, as was I.
Quinn huffed. "You know what? You're awful. I tell you my story, which wasn't easy for me, and I expect you to have a bit of compassion and what do you do? You get mad that I didn't tell you sooner. How rude."
I am not rude. How dare she even suggest that. "I have every right to be mad, here."
"No! You don't!" Quinn said. "I'm the victim here. I'm the one who had to live the life! I'm the one who tore her family apart. I'm the one who was on her own. You've been in a real high school for what, five months? You've barely had a taste of how cruel people could be. You've never even had to deal with it. You were home schooled. You hadn't seen a freakin' TV show until I showed you one. So no, you have no right to be mad or even try to pretend I'm wrong."
I glared back at her. Was she honestly saying that because I was more sheltered in life that I didn't deserve to be upset? I was so mad now. I was seeing red.
"How dare you" I began. "How dare you even-"
"Stop. I don't want to hear your lecture" Quinn cut me off.
"I'm leaving" I said and stormed out of her room. Quinn followed me out, stomping down the stairs.
"Yeah! Fine, go! I don't care. I don't need you! I never needed you!" she screamed after me.
I spun on my heels to face her. That was crossing a line.
"You don't need me? So when you were helpless in a wheelchair, you didn't need me? When you couldn't even reach your locker properly, you didn't need me?" I asked harshly.
She stared me in the eye with her dark glare. "No I did not" she snarled.
I was shocked. That was such a lie and she knew it. I was her rock. I helped her every day and now she tells me she didn't need me? That was false.
I didn't even reply to that. I just turned, slipped on my sandals and threw open the door. I hurried outside to my car and heard her slam the door shut after me.
Only when I sat down in my car did I start to cry. I pulled out of her driveway and drove to my house, but I sat in the car crying for half an hour.
My mind was jumbled, I was shaking with anger and my face was wet with tears.
I had no idea what would happen with Quinn and I. I was scared to even go inside my own house because then I'd have to explain it all to my mom.
All I knew was that I wasn't at fault.
Quinn was the reason.
That was one week ago. It hadn't improved since.
